#im taking this as a sign to Take A Break
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ruh-roh raggy I wrote a few chapters today and have come to the conclusion that i hate my entire fic
#!!!!!!!! AH#im taking this as a sign to Take A Break#im feeling very much like quitting it like i wish i did not write it chapter by chapter and i wish i did things so differently#but honestly i think 90% of that is just cause im tired rn and i've been writing all day. i think i just need space from it#its hard cause when i'm not writing my fic i'm thinking about it. so i feel like i have to keep writing it.#i just feel like i've kinda written myself into a corner here. or at the very least idk how to continue#i have later chapters written out but no idea how to get there and i dont think what i wrote today is the answer#there's useful exposition in there but i have no idea if it's how i want to characterize riku at all. feeling conflicted#rose.txt#pluffie writes
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The past JD ex's who got back together with him club. I feel like they'd have a lot to talk about
Freesia is @zivazivc
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls band together#ive been thinking about her recently#ao i had to draw her XD#theres a few other creators whose characters im itching to draw#so when i get the chamce its so pver for you guys#but anyway#i love freesias design#idk how exactly these two would fully interact#their reasons for breaking up with JD are very different#Jade left due to the fact that the stress of the band and his family was obviously taking a toll on their relationship#lile he wasnt letting her help him and pushing her away#and she didnt want to get in the way of him trying to achieve his dream and fixing things with his family#so they split due to that#and then Freesia left due to JD having to parent his siblings and she did not sign up to be their mom#their JDs would be very different as well if we go by the n2 au where Jades JD came back after 2 years#while Freesias was gone for 20#also Jade is eating one of Freesias famous brownies#and she is loving it#anyway#hope you guys enjoy#teehee#also i did accidentally make jades head a lil too big#but ive made my bed so i will lie in it
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i unfortunately don't have enough art to do one of those "year in review" things this year, but these are my personal favorites from 2024 ☝🏻🙂↕️ it's been a rough one but i'm so thankful to have all your support and nice tags.. i primarily draw for myself, but it's always wonderful to know that other people like what i make too 😭🧡
#diego brando#steel ball run#jjba fanart#jjba#artists on tumblr#art in review#more diego in 2025 for sure!! im taking a break atm bc of work#and im showing signs of carpal tunnel :(((( which i dont want to worsen#my art#diego
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A series that focuses on the summary/ lore explanation of Fable SMP, but the episodes are done as Horrible Histories...
#an allay takes the place of the rat and pops up with all the little signs#you got to have the alliteration for the names too#im so tempted to write a parody of the theme song just for the bit😂#like Eerie End or Obscure Overworld or something#half of it is the characters breaking the fourth wall just to stare at the camera like “did they really iust say that?”#fable smp#fablesmpblr#fable smp headcanon#fablesmp#fable smp lore#horrible histories#a ybh post
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gemini, virgo, pisces, cancer, capricorn and scorpio placements when someone asks them to take on another responsibility when they're already overwhelmed and completely burnt out
#astrology#STOP SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING PLSSSS TAKE A BREAK!!#im also yelling this at myself btw im so bad for this lmao#my manager is trying to coach me on saying no to ppl LKFDJFLKDJF#its going ok.......................kind of#luna.txt#i wanted to include libra in this too... if u have libra u may relate#but im not including libra just because i think theyre decent at saying no to anything that isn't self-beneficial lol#not a roast^ actually a compliment#like I find libras are very aware of their limits??#whereas the signs listed here might be aware but just don’t care#libras are self care queens
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Need to be able to breath underwater so I can rest in the cold silt and listen to the current rushing over the peddles. The fish swim above me like a mobile as the water cradles me.
#personal#very water sign of me tbh#please take me to the river please please#been disassociating lately and mostly feeling like im under water recently#<- which prompted this post/feeling#you can reblog this <33 dont worry about the person tag :)#if you see these tags i love you and please have a drink or snack. take your meds. go to the bathroom. take a stretch break!
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something i found very interesting this episode is that at no point does chalothorn ever claim to love tharn and at no point does chalothorn demand tharn love him. all he has ever said is tharn belongs to him and to stand by his side.
chalothorn quite literally only wants to own tharn like a trinket or a trophy to say that he won and it's his obsession to prove that he's superior and in the end everyone will bow to him. he's truly such a perfect villain, just completely reprehensible. bravo, writers, you're doing great.
#the sign#the sign the series#chalothorn#i would gif this but im tired#kinda taking a giffing break#oat meta
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ain't no way this random aunty (neighbour) started lecturing me to marry a guy of the same nationality as me because not doing so is "wrong"
#and she said its wrong to say u wont serve your mother and father in law#I WAS TYPING FANFICTION ON MY PHONE PEACEFULLY#for context i am at a wedding#chat what if i marry outside my nationality and ethnicity just for spite#i honestly dont even like the guys in my ethnicity/nationality there's all momma's boys or f-boys. no in between#or the normal ones are not in my league. as in im doing 'better' than them so im outside their league#I've actually started stressing about marriage im only 20 bro why is this my life#and it doesnt help that i have such an unrealistic idea of love that i wont have kids with someone just for children#im having kids only if i actually love the guy#children are supposed to be signs to the world of why you loved this person#gove the child your partner's smile and the slope of imperfectly perfect nose and let the world see in the curl of their lips why you loved#-this person#let the heartfely giggles of your children echo all the reasons you loved this person enough to sacrifice your body and flesh to create-#-those miracles#i should stop talking#i just really want to break this generational curse of loveless marriage and chains of responsibility and binding#also just a funfact. religion also says the daughter in law has NO relation to the in laws and is NOT required to serve them#it's the son's job to take care of his parents. not his wife's#the wife should be taking care of and looking out for her parents#leave this 1800s bullshit out the door 👎#zuri rambles#excuse the typos i alwats have typos
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QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
#my brain treats these things the same as it does spamton. almost. i want to see them dead i want to chew on them. i want to kiss them gentl#y and tuck them in bed and sign up adoption papers for them. i want to hit them with a baseball bat. i will take a bullet for them#yknow?#you get me.#again an experimental fun quick drawing#that i ended up ... popping off on. oops.#i have... 0 self control in art#fun fact originally this was gonna be a painting but i went hmm what if i do the thing#ive been doing with sketch lineart on paper but... digitally? angular and sketchy and sharper#aw yea#guz art#toontown corporate clash#low baller#also i had to post this on clashcord and bail instantly because the second i see angst for stuff i like that i havent made myself#i lowkey start breaking down oops#i dont do well with other fans of things that im not familiar with.... my brain works in mysterious ways !#i say this as my next drawing i plan is literally oc angst ... oops !#something i aint done in a while....i only ever do vent stuff i never post if anything. i try not to be like.... venty edgy like that it#just. aint for me. well i say while i ramble on and vent constantly. oops. but yknow what i mean - not let my art reflect that? be goofy#with the stuff i do? but like yeah either way. lore gettin angsty. have we gotten to the point in our lore / rp yet? no. is it kinda an#inescapeable point? yes. i loooooove making my characters suffer the consequences of their actions#WHY AM I TALKING SO ELABORATELY ABOUT THIS. THIS IS A LOW BALLER DRAWING.#BY TALOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BRAIN!! OH WELL if you like these. thanks for reading you are swag. you probably went thru#like. 5465465341564 thomas 'fights' now havent you#oh well gotta have a place to dump my thoughts somewhere!
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funnily enough, i havent worked on angelus custos for three months so have a Very late snippet!!! teehee ^_^
#tbh i havent been very motivated when it comes to well. Anything#esp creative pursuits#so i decided to take a break bc it may be a sign of burnout#esp bc ive made so many fics and edits within the past three months#im still working on btsoyt but i havent checked the doc since october#theres another project i may introduce but i need more info for it..#angelus custos#wip
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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emyr is such a strange pc experience...early on the rp got away from me and i realized i dug a hole and made a shitty character (not in substance but like personality) which really cemented during the trial/demon nonsense
i myself panicked in between sessions and was so anxious about making "horrible" choices (which is why we had the whole emyr trying to "reject" the demon deal when talking to riya/deon)
BUT i eventually realized that was like 90% my own anxiety and with what i had created with emyr? narratively it made more sense for him to stick with the deal as his whole motivation centered on saving his mother and fuck everything else (he already made that sort of decision in the past and he hadn't learnt a damn thing)
so basically i went fuck it! i can commit to this pc being a piece of shit and it won't be the end of the world i just need to communicate with the dm and players and not panikin anakin about it internally
#the result of my anxiety attack was emyr seeming flip floppy on his intentions but ehhhh#it is what it is#can be explained with home boy being so unsure of himself he needs to hear all opinions and options#he tried to follow the mindset of the party but it....felt Wrong to him#he went with the objectively bad route but ummmm it's for the drama sooooo#but yeah i have no idea if this made sense#it was just a weird situation cause this was not at all what i intended when i made this pc#it was not what i intended when i decided to take a break from my main boy rhydian#but i guess that is the magic of improvised collaborative storytelling#im just glad i am happy with it now cause in the middle there i was dying mentally#this is your sign to check yourself and communicate with those around you cause sometimes you be stuck in the funk of your mind#ch: emyr sylvain#nancy's d&d adventure#campaign: the vigilant
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHG
#feeling like ive been run over by a lorry#partly cause i woke up this morning after a horrific nightmare#so i tried to be nice to myself and sort of just keep going with my day#and then i feel so shit after doing a bit of studying that my arms start to stop working#and my brain feels like its melting#and im like ooh those are warning signs right#that means i need to take a break and do some self care#so i go into my siblings room and try and do some work there#and then it doesnt work cause i just cant concentrate and im shutting down#then i realise im on my period#so then i have a 2 hour nap#and now ive eaten something and drank something and taken paracetamol and have a heatpad and am not alone#so we're getting towards better 👍#maybe ill try and do some maths or maybe ill do something else to make me feel better#i want to cry and possibly explode#but its fiiiiine#anyway#rambles#cult rambles#tw vent#vent post
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Quite literally, genuinely shaking and sweating as I fill out mail in ballot
But fuck you anxiety I WILL be voting
#screaming into the void#taking a small break between filling out my ballot and signing the envelopes#because i feel like im going to throw up from nerves#my vote will be counted if it kills me
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Also puppy got to see a child today (Collies' favourite thing ever) and did so well! I did warn the child and their mom that puppy is a bit boisterous, they're bigger than they realise, but they were very gentle with the child and got their wiggles out with mom. As they were walking away I could hear the child telling their mom how cute puppy was, such a cutie, etc. It makes my heart happy 🥹
#a friend is coming over so puppy will have to be social today#theyre currently knocked out on the floor next to me#which is a relief because i hate just throwing them in the crate whenever they need a nap#(i can tell they were starting to get restless)#anyway puppy needs a lot of work with distraction#they get sooo excited when there are people or dogs#dogs less so i think its more the human than the dog that excites them#but there are 2 nutcase dogs in the building that i now know of but their owners are good at managing them#keeping them away#and so on#a silver lab and a weird dilute piebald bully thing#but actually people have been great here about either staying away from us or asking if its okay to say hi#and taking no for an answer graciously#and i havent seen a single dog at the dog park so? thats a positive sign too#anyway puppy is being forced to get on my schedule today because they have to go to work with me tomorrow#wish us luck#theyll be crated because warehouse moment but theyll take breaks with me#last week was so dead at work this week miiight be another story#but idk because of the socal situation#anyway im rambling. im sleepy. two cups of coffee does NOT cut it with puppy haha#i wanted to watch their breeder judge but nobody is streaming the show on facebook. sad#it would be so fun#theyre probably done judging now but i dont know this super so idk when theyll be posted#alas
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