#im sure you can understand

[croszukis]

nick with the "le bou" helmet after NYI @ MTL — the rebuild: inside the montreal canadiens episode five

[musingsbycaitlin]

if i must give up, then so must you: a wip intro

it's been about a year since i last posted on here, and even longer since i posted a wip update or intro, and i apologise for that. basically living away from home at uni made me ✨anxious✨ and ✨mentally ill✨ so the only writing i ever did was for assignments and my creative brain was turned off entirely. but! now that i'm back home and getting help, boy do i have a wip intro for you!

tw: gun violence, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse

disclaimer: this is my original work and plagiarism is never tolerated.

okay let's go:

genre: literary fiction

setting: 1800's, somewhere in the wild west

predicted word count: 50k

pov: first person, present tense, unnamed narrator

status: about 5k into the first draft

aesthetics: loading a rifle, wind whipping up skirts, dusty earth under feet, struggling to breathe, sleeping for a week, floral wallpaper, sunlit dust in the window, long-legged spider crawling along wooden floorboards, fingernails brushing arm hair, dogs barking in the distance, creaky gates, chewing tobacco floating in a whiskey glass, snuffed candles, laced lingerie hanging on the back of a chair, teeth touching

summary: it seems odd that her grandmother would lie, but our unnamed narrator is questioning her late grandmother's wisdom after a group of bandits raid her town. over night, she feels compelled to follow a lone cowboy she spies from the edge of her town, and finds herself going on a reflective journey across the wild west. From town to town, she wanders and meets people; she falls in love with someone she didn't expect; she learns what it means to be a woman without the burdens of her grandmother's lies. 'if i must give up' is a story about learning truths whilst growing up secluded, and reflecting on past traumas and the guilt that lingers there.

characters (the few main ones at least):

narrator: 20, (she/her), this barbie is down on her luck fr. she is just muddling her way through compulsive thoughts and actions and following this guy just because she can. a truly chaotic queen.

anne: 30, (she/her), the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. she says, dont talk to me unless you're pretty, but if you're pretty she can't talk through the drool. somehow a simp. anne please explain yourself to me.

jonah: 30-ish, (he/him to a hellish extent), good god please sir just sit down. major gael vibes, let that sink in. this ken's job is emotionally manipulate. im done talking about this man.

brady: 46, (they/them), a cowboy just out for a good time, riding and riding in both connotations of the word iykyk. lets give a hand to the obligatory orville peck inspired character of the book. if tassles on cowboy hats where invented, they would be rocking it daily. oblivious yet knowledgeable, gruff yet softly spoken. they are my fave, i will take no further questions.

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[feelo-fick]

um ok cool thanks for letting me know .... why are you telling me this

[lotus-pear]

yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper

[mmmairon]

Please. I don’t want to hurt you.

Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc

[dovewingkinnie]

u know what its so lonely making ocs . and not being part of a fandom too bc nothing interests you but your own ocs . like who do u talk to about them- like someone who is just as invested as you are . WHO DO U TALK TO THERE IS NOBODY im tired of people complaining that their fandom has 5 people... AT LEAST U HAVE THOSE 5 PEOPLE!!! ur gonna have to get lucky somehow and create a fandom urself for your ocs!! cause if u dont then You Are The Fandom!! you are the one carrying it!!!!! yea sure theres no drama or discourse But its lonely as fuck bro!!

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[fossilizedhysterics]

guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!

[starry-bi-sky]

how do you clone a fey? that's trick question; and fey love those!

@the-navistar-carol (<333) brought up a good point while I was talking about my changeling danny au with her -- Dani! How would she exist in this au? Danny's a changeling - a fae. How would Dani, a clone of him, be created? How do you make a fey? Not through any means that Vlad is doing; you can't make a fey through unnatural means, considering the Fair Folk are nature. And Vlad's not a fey himself -- he's a halfa, even if he could make a fey, it's not in his best interest too. He's a powerful ghost, but even the weakest fae can overpower the strongest ghost. He won't want a clone of Daniel to be more powerful than him.

(In a three tier hierarchy it goes Ancients -> Fae/Mythos -> Ghosts. They all live in the Infinite Realms, but on different Planes. The fae live above the Ghost Zone in the Fey Wild, while the Mythos live beside the Wilds or down in the ghost zone depending on where they are. Places like the Frozone, the Athens Acropolis, and other such large islands climb throughout all three Planes.)

(While Ghosts can travel into the Fey Wild, its generally advised against as the ectoplasm tends to manifest differently there due to close contact magic. It can make it rather disorientating for a ghost, and as human spirits, the Fae living there would jump them faster than they could blink. So unless you're willing to play mind games with 'steal thy name eat thy face' fae, most ghosts keep out of the way of the Wilds. Fey can travel down into the Ghost Zone, they just don't bother.)

That's of course, not taking into account if Vlad even knows Danny's a fae himself. Vlad doesn't ring me as someone who really cares much about ghost culture or the going ons of the GZ. He might be aware that fae exist, but the moment he realizes he can't use them for personal gain he just doesn't bother with them. The risk is greater than the reward, and he'd rather not get eaten. But lets assume he's aware by now that Danny is fey, and has to take that into account while cloning him.

So, how does Dani exist? Good question! Honestly; i'm not sure. She might not exist at all, or if she does, she's more halfa than fey. Vlad would need a lot of human dna and ectoplasm to balance out all that fae magic. He manages to steal DNA from Jack and Maddie to do it, and since Jack's fey ancestry is very dormant its much easier to use alongside Danny's DNA.

In turn, it results in a little girl whose more human-ghost hybrid than clone. With that little extra boost in fey magic making her not a fey, but still relatively powerful. Dani is less of a clone and more of a lab-grown little sister. It's a rather tedious, complex process that has Vlad tearing his hair out trying to figure out. But he does eventually figure it out.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[meowmeow1meow]

brian and his indescribable horrors

[lunarharp]

forgot i had some old backlog or whatever..

[kagoutiss]

does anyone. share my vision

[dreamwinged]

anyway HIIIII!!! i'm sorry for going inactive out of nowhere! i missed u guys, and i hope every1 has been doing well :> to be honest, i've realized this site makes me really anxious so i likely won't be coming back or being active like i used to be. i'll still keep my blog up, and might pop back in every now and then to say hi, but i probably won't post consistently or anything like that :<< however, i srsly love and value all the connections and friends ive made via this blog so much, all of u are so lovely, and ill miss u lots 💘 i am (embarrassingly) active on twitter, so if anyone has it, dm me and id love to be your mutual there! :D fair warning i talk a lot about my selfship, but i find that for whatever reason im just more comfortable there :} ((OH AND DISCORD. IF ANYONE WANTS TO EXCHANGE DISCS MSG ME!))

sooo yeah!! ueueue i dont know how to end this... wishing peace and love and f/o kisses for all my moots

[thelilylav]

We only see each other at funerals

(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)

The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art