#im sure there are things that he should be criticized for bc no one is perfect

[lycandrophile]

“people who present hyperfemininely but repeatedly point out the fact that they’re men are transphobic” i just KNOW these people are incapable of being normal about feminine and non-passing trans men.

i feel like the venn diagram of “people who get upset at other people for looking too much like women while still openly identifying as men” and “people who called us trenders back in the day and now spend their free time shitting on trans men who use the women’s bathroom for safety or talk about how being raised as girls affects us or talk about experiencing misogyny or consider our attraction to women sapphic or call ourselves femboys or are multigender and also women or…” has to be a circle.

i could not care less about a twitch streamer i don’t watch or the discourse surrounding them, but i do start caring when i see the discourse descend into a bunch of trans people calling gender nonconformity transphobic and saying people who look like women aren’t allowed to assert their identity as men.

[maximusboltaqon]

ok picture this. an ahura luna leer petras alecto comic set during/immediately after doti where the kids are like. Huh Haven't Heard From Mom In A While. n they gotta go figure out why gorgon isnt returning their calls and then get swept up into the Holy Shit bc they get to attilan somehow and see how completely destroyed it is. i havent thought of it much past that but cue the looking for dad typical comic. and thats whag i want for the inhumans rn. i crave a 2nd gen (? if the kids can count as that) centric comic so bad :(

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FOUR (MONACO)

genre: fluff, angst, etc.

warnings: heartbreak as usual

word count: 5.3k (like, exactly 5.3k. on the word. 😭)

author's note: it feels so wrong to say that im posting this to celebrate ollie's graduation to f1 because... this is such a sad chapter.... pain pain pain for everyone involved (especially ollie) 💔 but yay happy ollie f1 announcement day!!! hope you're all doing well & hope you enjoy <3 (also i wrote a lot of this chapter back in february? and proofreading it today nearly brought me to tears bcs of ollie-)

series masterlist

the career of a racing driver is a roller coaster for everyone involved.

if your name is max verstappen, then you've got more ups than most others. that roller coaster seems pretty fun.

but if your name is y/n harper, then your roller coaster isn't as fun these days. but if there’s ever a place to turn things around, it's monaco.

even just the track walk is enough to bring up your mood after a bad week like last. walking along the monegasque streets, almost getting hit by cars as you sign autographs and take pictures with fans... it's an experience you just can't find anywhere else.

coincidentally enough, ollie is done with the track walk just as you are, which means that the two of you can make your way back to the f2 paddock together. your boyfriend has always loved monaco – he pretty much doesn't ever shut up about the track and it's history unless you tape his mouth shut when you're in the country. that's why it's surprising that he not only brings up another subject, but also that he chooses a quite sensitive one – your father.

"he's going to be here this weekend, right?" ollie asks, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. he seemingly doesn't quite understand just how tense things are with your dad yet. to be fair, it isn't really his fault, since you haven't told him and since he isn't a mind-reader. but still, something in your chest tightens at the way ollie brings him up so casually.

you nod. "you know how much he adores monaco," you say with a sigh, before putting on your best impression of your dad. "the most iconic track ever, the only track to ever... blah blah blah."

having your dad along for races was always a given when you were younger. he was your best helmet carrier, your number-one supporter, and the first person you went to when celebrating or complaining.

but somewhere along the years, having him around started to become more problematic and anxiety-inducing. his support turned into criticism, and it became far more common for him to tell you to "go apologize to the engineers and ask them what you should do to perform better tomorrow" rather than give you any constructive feedback of his own.

at first, it was rough; the man who had always been your pillar to lean on, your main source of support, your safe haven, was seemingly gone. you continued to perform well, though you weren't sure if that was because you wanted to make him proud or if you were terrified of making him disappointed.

"let's have dinner with him someday, then," ollie suggests as the two of you come to a stop right outside the prema garage for the weekend. "maybe sunday, if we have things to celebrate?"

"let's hope so."

pepe calls your name once, twice, thrice, before he resorts to shaking your shoulder gently. his touch, along with the sound of the spaniard's raspy laughter, makes you finally wake from your slumber. you blink up at him, eyes droopy and mind empty. "what?"

"why are you sleeping?" pepe asks, shaking his head. "quali starts in... about an hour."

you begin to slowly push yourself up from the couch you've been lying on, yawning loudly. "i was supposed to just rest my eyes," you start, rubbing your eyes with your hands. "i didn't mean to fall asleep..."

"did you not sleep well last night? were you up late again?" pepe asks as he sits down next to you, watching you stretch your arms over your head with yet another yawn.

what are you supposed to say? yes, i was up until four am because i couldn't find any peace of mind at all? i've been dreading every second of this weekend because i never know when my dad will appear from around the corner? i'm scared he's going to be so mad over my performances that he disowns me?

pepe may know a lot of what's going on with your father, but he doesn't need to know this much.

you did, in fact, meet him earlier today, right before practice – if greeting him briefly and then instantly bolting in the opposite direction counts as a "meeting" – but since then, he's been nowhere to be seen. not even around dino or ollie when you last saw the two of them.

pepe takes your silence as an answer in itself, and he lets out a hum. "well, i'm quite nervous myself," he says frankly, pulling a hand through his hair.

"you did so well here last year, though." you nudge his shoulder with yours. "you'll be great again, i'm sure of it."

"dinner with the prince on sunday? both of us?"

you nod, shooting your friend a smile. "of course." but despite how much you wish it would become a reality, there's not even the slightest trace of faith in you. the only thing you can think about is how likely it is for this round to go in the same footsteps as your recent ones.

a great attitude to bring into a race weekend.

p9.

a top ten placement, sure. second in the reverse grid, sure. but other than that, there's not much positive in it. it's a step in the right direction, but in some way, it feels like a step that's way too short.

the sprint race starts with an incident right by you on the track, which is extremely unlucky for you since you get pretty much blocked and have nowhere to go. after being passed by several cars, the safety car finally comes out, and you find yourself in p7.

of course your father's words echo in your head all the way through the safety car period. "starting p2 means a free podium," he had told you when he stopped by right before you were getting into your car. "don't mess it up."

you're so focused on that expression on his face, the way he tilted his chin up and his head slightly to the side as he spoke, and the way it felt like your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, that you don't even realize that your engineer has told you about the safety car being about to end. you don't even acknowledge the fact that the race leader has taken off, nor that the rest of the field starts pushing again before it's too late.

some blue car tries to overtake you on the outside, and with another car on your inside you have no chance of giving either of them space – and you manage to crash into them both. not only did you ruin your own race, but also two other drivers'.

and of course, one of the cars buried into the wall next to yours is a silver hitech with a big number 17 on it.

climbing out of your car, you can hear several voices calling out for all three of you from the grandstand nearby, and you consider throwing them a wave as you climb through the metal fence to get off the track. but then, you hear one voice that's more familiar – one that belongs to the last person you want to talk to right now. "are you alright?"

you almost don't look at him, but the little glance you shoot him is enough to take in every single bit of disappointment in his eyes. what are the odds that your dad was sitting in the grandstand right where you crashed?

a nod is enough of an answer you reckon, pulling your helmet off your head and beginning to walk the way towards the paddock again. "do you want me to carry that?" your dad asks, having gotten past the security guards after showing his pass, now jogging to catch up with you.

"i'm not ten anymore," you groan. "i can handle it on my own."

"i wasn't saying you can't-" he cuts himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. "you looked really out of it out there."

you keep your gaze forwards so he won't see you rolling your eyes at his words, determined steps carrying you forward quickly as you shake his hand off. "oh, you could see through my visor? that's cool."

"what's gotten into you lately?" your dad pushes, and you flinch slightly at the harsh tone in his voice. "what's wrong with you?"

"what do you mean?"

"well, frankly, your driving had been shit recently." your eyes snap to him when he speaks, eyebrows furrowed. "it looks like you're not even trying."

you stay silent for a long while, trying to navigate your way back – and to a place where your dad hopefully won't be allowed – but you can't help but scoff. "thank's a lot."

"what? am i wrong?"

"yes, you're wrong!" you finally stop in your tracks, fully facing him by now. a hand goes up to your hair, pulling on it to relieve at least some tension. "i'm trying my best, i-"

"is there something going wrong with ollie?" your jaw drops. "i'll talk to him, i'll settle it with him."

"don't you dare!" you exclaim. "there's nothing wrong with ollie, okay?!"

"then what is wrong with you? why can't you score ten points in nine races?"

that's it – you're going to completely lose it if this goes on for even one more second. "leave me the fuck alone," you tell him, turning your head away so he won't get a chance to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

the worst part of it all? the fact that you agree with him. the fact that you can't even argue against it; nine points in five rounds is not a good result at all.

surprisingly enough, he doesn't follow you when you hurry away, allowing you to get to the paddock alone. the silence doesn't mean you can hold back from crying, however; it doesn't take long before your cheeks are stained with your tears, your breaths growing quicker and quicker for every step you take. navigating the paddock with blurry vision is hard, and you're basically just relying on muscle memory to take you back to the right part of the garage. just as you're rounding a corner, you bump into someone – someone whose white suit and broad, muscular shoulders are easy to recognize even through your tears.

the other last person you want to talk to right now.

"hey there," he says, a hand coming up to your shoulder to keep you steady as you stumble a little upon the impact with his chest. "are you- woah, are you crying?"

"leave me alone, paul."

he lets out a little chuckle, one he regrets in hindsight because it makes him sound like he thinks the state you're in is funny. "i can't just walk away when you're this upset, can i?" he asks, having to use all of his willpower to hold back from wiping away a few tears from your cheeks. "is it about the crash? i'm not mad at you, and i don't think victor is either-"

"i couldn't care less about the stupid crash!" you explode, a few sobs following your words. "i'm just- i can't-"

paul's eyes widen in surprise at your outburst, hand on your shoulder slipping further along so he's got his arm draped across your shoulders and it's easier for him to force you to walk with him. now it's your turn to have to hold back, wanting nothing more than to lean into his chest and just let out all of your tears. he pushes you with him into the hitech truck, looking around the lounge area to make sure no one's there before guiding you to sit on one of the sofas there. "what's going on? did something happen?"

"i'm a bad driver, that's what happened." paul slumps into the seat right next to you, eyebrows raised when he hears you speak. "i don't belong here, i don't know what i'm doing, i-"

"hey hey hey," he cuts you off with a shake of his head. "what have we said about this?"

you look down at the floor, wiping away a few tears from your cheek as you continue to sniffle in the silence that fills the area. a burning feeling spreads through your chest at his words, the familiarity of it all making your head spin. it isn't the first time you've been like this in front of him; through the almost entire year you dated, there were quite a few times when he'd have to console you after a breakdown. paul knows your issues like the back of his hand, he knows how hard it can be to convince you that you do belong. but he also knows to never give up.

"you are a great driver," he starts, hesitating for a moment before letting his hand rub your shoulder. the action makes your breath hitch in your throat, but not because it's wrong – it's because you've missed his touch, probably far more than you've admitted to yourself before now.

"even my lousy dad thinks i'm bad," you finally get out in-between sniffles, resting your face in your hands.

"and since when do you care about his opinion, huh?"

he's right. at least partially. but still, you remain hunched over, shaking your head. "i may act like it doesn't matter, but… him calling me all kinds of things…" paul allows you to gather your thoughts, his touch remaining gentle over your racing suit. "it hurt. a lot."

he hums understandingly, letting out a sigh. "when is that stupid little brain of yours going to understand that you're doing well?" his words should bring a smile to your lips – a few months ago, they would've. but now, you don't react at all. "no matter what he says, no matter what the critics say. you're a good driver."

after another few moments of silence, you drop your hands to your lap and look at him. there's a hint of curiousity in his eyes, surprised by your sudden eye contact. "why do you even care?" you question. he's been acting like a complete idiot these past few months – and after you literally cursed him out in melbourne, you haven't spoken a word to each other. and yet, he's taking time out of his day to comfort you like he would a year ago.

"come on…" he presses his lips together in a firm line, shaking his head. "no matter what happens between us, i'll always look after you."

his words, and maybe especially your emotional reaction to them, take you by surprise. despite the anger and frustration you've built up over the last few months, there's an undeniable warmth in his gaze that softens your defenses. the feeling of nostalgia and longing is so strong it's almost painful, as if he has reminded you of a connection you thought had been lost forever.

it's quite strange, considering everything that's happened. but you're not opposed to it.

"how are you feeling after the crash?" paul asks to break the silence as you reach up to dry away the last of your tears from your cheeks. "that was a big impact you had. i got away lightly in comparison."

for the first time since the crash, you stop to actually think about it and allow yourself to feel through your body. the adrenaline from the race has worn off by now, and there's a throbbing in your head that seems to just grow stronger by the second. "i think… i'm alright…"

"do you want me to go get ollie for you? the race should be done by now," he says, checking the clock on the wall in the truck. "he can take you to go see a medic."

you shake your head instantly. "please, don't. for real."

paul shoots you a strange, confused look, though he gives you a slight nod. "okay, but you have to tell him," he says, pausing a second before continuing. "i know that head of yours, you're going to combust if you keep hiding this. you can't go through it alone."

"i promise."

you don't end up going to the medical center.

you do, however, go find ollie yourself – but you don't tell him about your chat with paul. instead, you hope he doesn't take notice of the not-so-subtle signs that you've just had a complete meltdown.

it's easy to break promises to people who you don't need to stay truthful to, you realize. last year, you wouldn't even think about breaking a promise to paul – but an ex boyfriend is much easier to lie to.

your current boyfriend wraps his arms around you the second you step close enough. his lips press to the side of your head, his arms giving you another squeeze before pulling away.

ollie has gotten used to your red eyes.

he's gotten used to the sight of your tearstained cheeks, the slight pout on your lips, the heaviness in your sighs.

he's gotten used to the sinking feeling in his stomach, the pain in his chest, the guilt.

but he's also gotten used to not asking, because he knows you won't tell.

when you wake up on feature race day, something is different. it's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to paul; like the air is suddenly much easier to breathe, and the whole world seems a little lighter. you're much more excited for the feature race of the day than any race so far this season.

in today's race, it's ollie's time to crash out. it isn't his fault, though; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got squeezed up against the wall by a trident car. there was nothing he could do.

as soon as he's deemed free of injuries, he makes his way back to the prema garage, joining the team in watching the rest of the race. it's a good one for you; choosing to go with the opposite strategy has really worked out for you so far, with you and zak o'sullivan being the only two drivers in the top who haven't pitted yet.

ollie follows your car intently on the screen in the garage, secretly hoping for a safety car to come out and help you out with your strategy as it's nearing the last few laps. he almost doesn't pull out of his trance even when a hand lands on his shoulder. "she's doing great," dino says from behind him, the brit nodding along to his words. "especially considering... well, she must've told you about yesterday, so i won't repeat it to you."

yesterday?

ollie looks dumbfounded for a moment before he composes himself, though he has no idea what the swede is talking about. "of course."

dino lets out a chuckle, patting his friend's shoulder. "paul said she was a complete mess when he found her," he continues, not realizing he's giving ollie more clues to help figure out what in the world he's talking about. "her anxiety was all over the place, apparently. but she's recovering, she's strong. she won't let this affect her."

ollie hums agreeingly at his words, eyes still glued to the tv in front of him. "certainly," he finally gets out. "she'll get through it with ease."

and so you did – at least for this particular race.

the virtual safety car was incredibly lucky, but that's racing sometimes. with both you and zak changing your tyres in the last lap, you both managed to end up ahead of the rest of the field, and secure a podium each.

unlike in jeddah, seeing paul's car pull up right next to yours on parc ferme isn't all that bad. after yesterday's heart-to-heart with him, you feel like at least part of this podium is thanks to him. if it weren't for his encouragement, you likely would've stuck it in the wall again.

you don't ignore him this time. you don't scoff at his words, you don't feel frustrated at his mere presence. this time, you give him a tight hug when he comes over to congratulate you, arms around his shoulders forcing him close.

"thank you," you can't help but whisper, and paul is grinning from ear to ear when he pulls away from the hug.

"don't," he answers with a quick shake of his head. "you could always pull this off. you just needed a little reminder."

and not only do your shoulders and mind feel a bit lighter as you step onto that monaco podium, but most importantly, your heart.

"i'm exhausted," you huff as you shrug your bag off your shoulders, leaving it by the door as ollie, too, makes his way into the hotel room. "thank god this weekend is finally over."

you dive onto his already-made bed, landing face-down between the pillows and blankets. the bed is huge, probably over two meters in width, and unbelievably soft. it's the first time you feel like you can truly relax since you got to monaco, and every single cell in your body thanks you for allowing them to rest a little.

"and i don't even have any sim sessions scheduled in over a week. i'm the luckiest person ever." ollie lets out a chuckle at this, his own bag crashing to the floor with a thud before his feet carry him deeper inside the room.

you turn your head and watch as he picks out a water bottle from the mini fridge, but he doesn't drink from it. instead, he makes his way to the bed, choosing to just stand next to it at first. you can't really read his expression, so you speak up – but he beats you to it. "ollie-"

"can we talk?"

you press your hands into the mattress, sitting up properly. "of course," you say, a look of unknowing dejection spreading across your features. "what's wrong?"

"that's... what i wanted to ask you, actually." ollie finally sits down on the bed, but on the opposite side of it, far from you. "what's going on? what happened yesterday?"

"oh, well..." you pause for a second, eyebrows rising as you try to find an explanation. "i just had a bad day, i didn't realize that the safety car-"

"i don't mean the race, i mean what happened after the race." his eyes are piercing into yours, not missing even the slightest movement of your face now. you've got his full attention. "with paul."

your breath hitches in your throat and you instantly look away. your voice is as low as a whisper when you speak again. "i can't believe he told you..."

"he didn't. it was someone else, but that's beside the point." you don't know if you should feel relieved that paul didn't tell ollie, or furious that he told someone else who then told ollie, but you don't have any time to think before his voice infiltrates your thoughts again. "i heard you were... i'm not going to use the same word he did, but i heard you were really upset. something about anxiety, or..."

he hopes you'll pick up where he trailed off, and despite how you're really not in the mood for this conversation right now, it feels unavoidable. "i guess... yesterday's race was really rough on me. and my racing has felt really bad recently, the anxiety has been through the roof, and..." your eyes land on your hands, watching as your fingers tremble slightly in your lap. "i don't know. something about yesterday just triggered it all again."

out of the corner of your eye, you can see ollie nodding understandingly. "how long have you been feeling like this?"

"since always, basically." a single teardrop rolls down your cheek before you even notice that you've started tearing up. you hurry to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. "my mom likes to tell this story about how i used to cry if i performed poorly when i was jumping rope in kindergarten. or about how one time, i came home sobbing over the fact that i thought i was getting kicked out of kindergarten because my drawings weren't as good as the other kids'." the old stories bring a soft smile to your lips, one that soon disappears when you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut. "it's not usually this bad, but…"

you sigh.

"it's like... imposter syndrome. i'm one of the very few women in motorsports, and i can't help but think that i'm just here because the fia wants to make the sport more equal. or because my sponsors think it's funny to have a woman among the men. or if i'm just here as eye candy. i don't deserve this, i don't have enough talent."

your little rant makes him speechless – both because he didn't expect it at all, and because to him, you're so wrong.

"you're here because you do deserve it and because you consistently perform good results, unlike most other drivers. that has nothing to do with your gender." ollie pauses for a second. "if you didn't have enough talent, you wouldn't be performing this well in a series this hard."

you can't hold back the little smile that slips onto your lips. "this is all very sweet, and i really appreciate it. but it's not that easy for me to just accept what you're saying."

yet again, he nods. "i understand." his voice is so calm, so gentle, so patient. it makes your heart soften. "i'll make sure to remind you of it more often, so that maybe it sticks."

"thank you, ollie."

a long silence follows, and you take the time to brush away a few more tears that have left your eyes. you don't know what to say or how to follow up on this heavy subject, but you don't have to think much more.

"why did you go to paul instead of me?"

your eyes dart to him at the sudden question. he's sounded so composed and calm, but he actually looks quite... nervous? his fingers are fiddling with the lid of the water bottle in his hands, and his entire upper body looks like it's trembling slightly as he breathes. "i didn't," you tell him simply. it's not a lie, per se. "he just happened to walk in on me crying."

"but why did you tell him?" ollie questions, looking up at you from the bottle. "i thought you two weren't even talking these days? ever since that fight you had?"

he is right. you don't even know why you confided in him yourself – it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. you didn't even try to deny his help; you welcomed it (and him) with open arms.

"we talked about my struggles last year," you finally say, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. "so he knew already. and… i don't know, i guess it felt nice to talk to someone who really knows me."

"but i want to know you." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "i want to know more than your birthday and your favorite color. i want to know it all; what makes you feel good, what makes you anxious, what keeps you going, what slows you down..."

the physical distance between you two may only be a mere two meters, but you feel much more separated than that. you totally understand where he's coming from – he might be exaggerating a little, but your conversations with him are never really deep. though not sure whether it's because you just don't trust him or because you just have a hard time opening up, you can understand the despair he must be feeling.

when ollie notices that you aren't too keen on saying anything, he keeps going. "i want you to trust me. i want to be the person you tell these things to." he scoots closer to you on the bed, one of his hands landing on top of your knee. "i really want to make this work between us. my feelings for you are so strong, just..."

the pain in his eyes is so intense it sends a shiver down your spine, his gaze cutting through you like a knife. your own eyes begin to well up again, but you can't look away now.

"i really want you to give this, give me, a chance."

you've never seen him like this before. hopeless, desperate, practically begging. and in an instant, the guilt comes creeping back into you.

you're the one who's making him feel like this; it's all your fault. and how cruel wouldn't it be to not at least give him an honest chance?

"of course." your voice is weak and shaky, but you nod. "i want that, too. really."

ollie drops his water bottle to the floor before opening his arms wide for you. "come here."

it's easy to climb into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he holds you close. it's easy to lean into him, to inhale his sweet scent, and it's so easy to relax.

you wish it was as easy to open up to him. oh, how badly you wish it was as easy as a-b-c or do-re-mi. you really want to let him in; you, too, want this to work.

the silence that follows is a comfortable one. the air feels thick with unspoken emotions, a heaviness of the previous conversation still lingering, but there's an unspoken understanding between you and ollie. the previously well-known weight of the world on your shoulders seems to lift, if only momentarily; his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back is like a silent reassurance that he's there, he's present, and he's willing to wait for you to open up in your own time.

after what feels like an eternity, ollie breaks the silence. "let's do something. let's go on a vacation together."

you lean back slightly, just enough to look at his face but stay in his hold. "…what?"

your reaction isn't exactly what he had hoped for, but he goes on. "i'm going back to italy this week, you should come with me." he reaches up with a hand to your face, thumb softly massaging away the frown you hadn't even noticed had formed. "we'll travel around, go see the national parks, hike in the mountains... swim in the sea, eat at good italian restaurants..."

your features soften at his suggestions; it all does sound very sweet. still, you can't hold back from asking, "but why?"

"we have almost a month until the next race weekend, and you said that you don't have any sims this week. this could help take your mind off racing, and..." a sheepish smile appears on his face. "maybe it could make us get a little closer."

uncertainties and conflicting thoughts continue to cloud your heart, making the decision harder than it should be. on one hand, accepting the offer could offer a much-needed reprieve from all the pressures of the racing world. on the other hand, your unresolved feelings for paul still hold you back. spending a romantic holiday with ollie sounds like a dream, just as much as the mere thought of revealing yourself to him makes you nauseous from the fear.

but you want to be brave. and maybe to let go of paul, you need to just forget about your worries and dive head-first into ollie.

"it sounds perfect. let's do it."

yourusername just posted!

yourusername we're back baby!! leaving monaco with some good points. 🔜 barcelona and the team's home race, let's go 😁

show all 78 comments

user finally back on the podium! ❤️💙

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user great drive today !!!

→ user it was just luck 😭 without the vsc she would've never gotten that podium

→ user okay and??

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

olliebearman what's up with the hair dinobeganovic_

→ yourusername it's called fashion

→ dinobeganovic_ it's called waking up at 5 for a feature race

→ user you're still gorgeous dino 😚

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

redbulljuniorteam 💪💙❤️

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

sebasmontoya58 pepe don't punch the girl, she did nothing wrong

→ yourusername i did nothing wrong!!!

→ pepemartiofficial tell him what you did

→ yourusername never

→ pepemartiofficial sebas check your whatsapp

→ yourusername YOU WOULDNT

→ pepemartiofficial i totally would

[melrosing]

pls tell me u screenshotted the whole thing im busy with some other famfom stuff rn i wanna read it so bad

LOL I literally just copy pasted it into notes bc I still had the window open when I heard he deleted it so find below….

Back in July, I promised you some further thoughts about Blood and Cheese… and Maelor the Missing… after my commentary on the first two episodes of HotD season 2, “A Son for a Son” and “Rhaenyra the Cruel.”

Those were terrific episodes:  well written, well directed, powerfully acted.   A great way to kick off the new season.   Fans and critics alike seemed to agree.  There was only one aspect of the episodes that drew significant criticism: the handling of Blood and Cheese, and the death of Prince Jaehaerys.   From the commentary I saw on line,  opinion was split there.   The readers of FIRE & BLOOD found the sequence underwhelming, a disappointment, watered down from what they were expecting.   Viewers who had not read the book had no such problems.   Most of them found the sequence a real gut-punch, tragic, horrifying, nightmarish, etc.   Some reported being reduced to tears.

I found myself agreeing with both sides.

In my book, Aegon and Helaena have three children, not two.  The twins, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, are six years old.  They have a younger brother, Maelor, who is two.   When Blood and Cheese break in on Helaena and the kids, they tell her they are debt collectors come to exact revenge for the death of Prince Lucerys: a son for a son.  As Helaena has  two sons, however,  they demand that she choose which one should die.   She resists and offers her own life instead, but the killers insist it has to be a son.  If she does not  name one, they will kill all three of the children.   To save the life of the twins, Helaena names Maelor.    But Blood kills the older boy, Jaehaerys, instead, while Cheese tells little Maelor that his mother wanted him dead.    (Whether the boy is old enough to understand that is not at all certain).

That’s not how it happens on the show.   There is no Maelor in HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, only the twins (both of whom look younger than six, but I am no sure judge of children’s ages, so I can’t be sure how old they are supposed to be).   Blood can’t seem to tell the twins apart, so Helaena is asked to reveal which one is the boy.  (You would think a glance up his PJs would reveal that, without involving the mother).  Instead of offering her own life to save the kids, Helaena offers them a necklace.   Blood and Cheese are not tempted.  Blood saws Prince Jaehaerys’s head off.   We are spared the sight of that; a sound effect suffices.   (In the book, he lops the head off with a sword).

It is a bloody, brutal scene, no doubt.  How not?  An innocent child is being butchered in front of his mother.

I still believe the scene in the book is stronger.  The readers have the right of that.   The two killers are crueler in the book.  I thought the actors who played the killers on the show were excellent… but the characters are crueler, harder, and more frightening in FIRE & BLOOD.   In the show, Blood is a gold cloak.   In the book, he is aformer gold cloak, stripped of his office for beating a woman to death.    Book Blood is the sort of man who might think making a woman choose which of her sons should die is amusing, especially when they double down on the wanton cruelty by murdering the boy she tries to save.    Book Cheese is worse too; he does not kick a dog, true, but he does not have a dog, and he’s the one who tells Maelor that his mom wants him head.   I would also suggest that Helaena shows more courage, more strength in the book, by offering her own own life to save her son.   Offering a piece of jewelry is just not  the same.

As I saw it, the “Sophie’s Choice” aspect was the strongest part of the sequence, the darkest, the most visceral.   I hated to lose that.   And judging from the comments on line, most of the fans seemed to agree.

When Ryan Condal first told me what he meant to do, ages ago (back in 2022, might be) I argued against it, for all these reasons.    I did not argue long, or with much heat, however.   The change weakened the sequence, I felt, but only a bit.   And Ryan had what seemed to be practical reasons for it; they did not want to deal with casting another child, especially a two-year old toddler.  Kids that young will inevitably slow down production, and there would be budget implications.   Budget was already an issue on HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, it made sense to save money wherever we could.   Moreover, Ryan assured me that we were not losing Prince Maelor, simply postponing him.   Queen Helaena could still give birth to him in season three, presumably after getting with child late in season two.   That made sense to me, so I withdrew my objections and acquiesced to the change.

I still love the episode, and the Blood and Cheese sequence overall.   Losing the “Helaena’s Choice” beat did weaken the scene, but not to any great degree.  Only the book readers would even notice its absence; viewers who had never read FIRE & BLOOD would still find the scenes heart-rending.   Maelor did not actually DO anything in the scene, after all.   How could he?  He was only two years old.

There is another aspect to the removal of the young princeling, however.

Those of you who hate spoilers should STOP READING HERE.   Spoilers will follow, at least for the readers among you.  If you have never read FIRE & BLOOD, maybe it does not matter, because all I am going to “spoil” here are things that happen in the book that may NEVER happen on the series.   Starting with Maelor himself.

Sometime between the initial decision to remove Maelor, a big change was made.   The prince’s birth was no longer just going to be pushed back to season 3.  He was never going to be born at all.   The younger son of Aegon and Helaena would never appear.

Most of you know about the Butterfly Effect, I assume.

Yes, there was a movie with that title a few years back.   It’s a familiar concept in chaos theory as well.   But most science fiction fans were first exposed to the idea in Ray Bradbury’s classic time travel story, “A Sound of Thunder,” wherein a time traveler from the present panics and crushes a butterfly while hunting a T-Rex.  When he returns to his own time, he discovers that the world has changed in huge and frightening ways.  One dead butterfly has rewritten history.  The lesson being that change begets change, and even small and seemingly insignificant alterations to a timeline — or a story — can have a profound effect on all that follows.

Maelor is a two year old toddler in FIRE & BLOOD, but like our butterfly he has an impact on the story all out of proportion to his size.   The readers among you may recall that when it appears that Rhaenyra and her blacks are about to capture King’s Landing, Queen Alicent becomes concerned for the safety of Helaena’s remaining children, and takes steps to save them by smuggling them out of the city.   The task is given is two knights of the Kingsguard.   Ser Willis Fell is commanded to deliver Princess Jaehaera to the Baratheons at Storm’s End, while Maelor is given over to Ser Rickard Thorne to be escorted across the Mander to the protection of the Hightower army on its way to King’s Landing.

Willis Fell delivers Jaehaera safely to the Baratheons at Storm’s End, but Ser Rickard fares less well.   He and Maelor get as far as Bitterbridge, where he is revealed as a Kingsuard in a tavern called the Hogs Head.   Once discovered, Ser Rickard fights bravely to protect his young charge and bring him to safety, but he does not even make it across the bridge before some crossbows bring him down,  Prince Maelor is torn from his arms.. and then, sadly, ripped to pieces by the mob fighting over the boy and the huge reward that Rhaenyra has offered for his capture and return.

Will any of that appear on the show?   Maybe… but I don’t see how.   The butterflies would seem to prohibit it.  You could perhaps make Ser Rickard’s ward be Jaehaera instead of Maelor, but Jaehaera can’t be killed, she has a huge role to play as Aegon’s next heir.   Could maybe make  Maelor a newborn instead of a two year old, but that would scramble up the timeline, which is a bit of a mess already.   I have no idea what Ryan has planned — if indeed he has planned anything — but given Maelor’s absence from episode 2, the simplest way to proceed would be just to drop him entirely, lose the bit where Alicent tries to send the kids to safety, drop Rickard Thorne or send him with Willis Fell so Jaehaera has two guards.

From what I know, that seems to be what Ryan is doing here.   It’s simplest, yes, and may make sense in terms of budgets and shooting schedules.  But simpler is not better.   The Bitterbridge scene has tension, suspense, action, bloodshed, a bit of heroism and a lot of tragedy.  Rickard Thorne  is a tertiary character at best, most viewers (as opposed to readers) will never know he is gone, since they never knew him at all… but I rather liked giving him his brief moment of heroism, a taste of the courage and loyalty of the Kingsguard, regardless of whether they are black or green.

The butterflies are not done with us yet, however.  In the book, when word of Prince Maelor’s death and the grisly manner of his passing (pp. 505) reaches the Red Keep, that proves to be the thing that drives Queen Helaena to suicide.   She could barely stand to look at Maelor, knowing that she chose him to die in the “Sophie’s Choice” scene… and now he is dead in truth, her words having come true.   The grief and guilt are too much for her to bear.

In Ryan’s outline for season 3, Helaena still kills herself… for no particular reason.   There is no fresh horror, no triggering event to overwhelm the fragile young queen.

And the final butterfly follows soon thereafter.

Queen Helaena, a sweet and gentle soul, is much beloved by the smallfolk of King’s Landing.  Rhaenyra was not, so when rumors began to arise that Helaena did not kill herself, but rather was murdered at Rhaenyra’s command, the commons are quick to believe them.   “That night King’s Landing rose in bloody riot,” I wrote on p. 506 of FIRE & BLOOD.   It is the beginning of the end for Rhaenyra’s rule over the city, ultimately leading to the Storming of the Dragonpit and the rise of the Shepherd’s mob that drives Rhaenyra to flee the city and return to Dragonstone… and her death.

Maelor by himself means little.   He is a small child, does not have a line of dialogue, does nothing of consequence but die… but where and when and how, that does matter.   Losing Maelor weakened the end of the Blood and Cheese sequence, but it also cost us the Bitterbridge scene with all its horror and heroism, it undercut the motivation for Helaena’s suicide, and that in turn sent thousands into the streets and alleys, screaming for justice for their “murdered” queen.   None of that is essential, I suppose… but all of it does serve a purpose, it all helps to tie the story lines together, so one thing follows another in a logical and convincing manner.

What will we offer the fans instead, once we’ve killed these butterflies?   I have no idea.   I do not recall that Ryan and I ever discussed this, back when he first told me they were pushing back on Aegon’s second son.   Maelor himself is not essential… but if losing him means we also lose Bitterbridge, Helaena’s suicide, and the riots, well… that’s a considerable loss.

And there are larger and more toxic butterflies to come, if HOUSE OF THE DRAGON goes ahead with some of the changes being contemplated for seasons 3 and 4…

GRRM

[pixiecaps]

no bc im not usually involved w stuff like this and believe everyone should be held accountable for their actions no matter what. but seeing the way quackity has been seen as non human, any emotion or misstep he has being seen as manipulative or fake is like crazy. i don’t understand how people don’t see like wait, your actually just being racist you are not capable of seeing him as a person, why? it feels like he really could’ve handled this perfectly and there still would be this large crowd regarding him as a heartless fraud??

truly. i have closely observed this situation and listened to both sides and theres a lot of different opinions that can co exist and theres a lot of complexity to them.

one particular thing that has bothered me and made me uncomfortable is the projection of quackity as this scheming conniving figure. its gross. him having to explain that hes had previous experiences like this where he keeps any sort of bad situation with another creator private and that in turn has made him perceived as more manipulative is so sad. and this isnt surprising obviously since this is something ive witnessed. but overall i think with the internet nowadays theres a large mindset that everything needs to be public information and shared with the audience while they preach to solve things in the dms. people only care for a show and to watch creators destroy themselves. thats what twitter is and what a lot of people actively strive to do on that platform. specifically in regards to leak communities.

everyone should be aware enough that theyre allowed to criticize quackity and the decisions he’s made that people may not agree with. he acknowledges that himself. but to paint him as anything other then human and someone who has deeply fucked up reaches that level where it is racism. i dont think many people quite realize micro aggressions when they see them. so theres that. and then theres obviously the extremes of the situation when it came to the doxxing and death threats. people actively celebrating and saying it surely is an okay thing to spread because well he fucked up right? hypocrisy. this goes the same way for any admin or worker involved the situation that has been sent and told the same.

this entire situation has proved to me that nobody knows how to properly handle anything or how to properly react to anything and choosing instead to immediately jump to those extremes mentioned in the name of activism and moral superiority.

anyways support the admins. listen to their stories. criticize media you consume in a constructive manner. call out xenophobia and racism when you see it. and treat people like the humans they are. they will all make mistakes each side has made a mistake. yes this also applies to the people in the community. think for more than a second before you post anything for fucks sake.

[le-92vi]

It's You and Me (Part 1)

Geto Suguru x Reader

Genres/Warnings: nothing really, reader is Suguru's junior. fem!reader, academic weapon!reader (bc i'm not^^) hs!geto. Mostly fluff and banter. Not proofread.

Word Count: 1.5k

Notes: hello again! I'm still unsure if i should make a whole series out of this or just drabbles, or maybe... nothing more, even though i kinda have a story line in mind. Please let me know if you liked this one and would like more parts to this fic. im also sorry for not making regular updates. (Reviews, critics anything<3) I hope you like and enjoy this one!!<33

---

"Yeah, Mom, I'm getting off from school. Just text me whatever you need." You end the call with your mother.

Maki, who stood a couple of lockers away from you and happened to be listening to the conversation, cocked her eyebrow at you. "More housewarming parties?"

You chuckled at how well she knew your mom as you gathered your belongings from your locker and shoved them in your backpack. "I guess. She loves being a good host. Would you mind a little detour to the market?"

"Not at all." She closes your locker for you. "We can get the décor stuff for the presentation too."

"Nice!"

***

"Mom," you called out as you and Maki hauled all the groceries to the kitchen counters. 

"In here," she called out from the living room. 

"Maybe the guests are over already," Maki shrugged.

"But we just got here with the food? Aren't they supposed to be here for dinner?" You asked sheepishly. 

Maki gave you a sarcastic upturned smile. "How am I supposed to know that?"

"You're back! And Maki's here too!" Your mom appeared from the hallways, greeting Maki with a hug the first thing.

It didn't even faze you at this point just how smitten your mom had become with her. And it was endearing too, not that you'd ever admit it out loud. 

You clear your throat to get your mom's attention, "Excuse me, you two..." only to earn laughs from both of them. 

"You're such a silly girl." She took the other bag from your hand, plopping it on the counter. "Anyways, you should go greet our new neighbors. You too, Maki. They have a son around you guys' age. Take him upstairs with you. Poor kid's bored out of his mind sitting there." 

Immediately, Maki's eyes met with yours as you shrugged.

"Go on, now."  Your mom motioned towards the door as the two of you made a beeline outside. 

"New neighbor, huh? Finally, some action in your life, Miss Prude." Maki nudged you, fake-wiping a tear from her eye. "Guess you won't need me around anymore."

"God, Maki! You're so overdramatic," was all you could manage to say, as all your words died in your mouth.

THIS HAD TO BE SOME SICK JOKE.

Suguru Geto. The smartest and most popular guy in your senior school. The Suguru Geto was hunched over the love seat in your living room, visibly bored out of his mind.

You decided that it was for the best for you to ignore his presence in the room for the time being and greet his parents first. You bowed in greeting as you wished them, and so did Maki. That seemed to have grabbed Suguru's attention: "Hey, I've seen you guys in school. I think..." His voice trailed out as he tried to remember where he'd seen you from.

His eyes fixed on both you and Maki, hoping that your presence would gratify his curiosity.

Maki did, as you mentally facepalmed yourself for going blank. Briefly introducing the both of you, she elbowed you in the side to join in on the conversation. But you didn't know what to say, especially to him.

"I have a lot of books. Do you want to check them out?" you blurted. He liked to read, right? You've seen him practically living in the school library. You were supposed to hang out with him after all, right?

"Sure," he says, seeing it as his only chance to escape from the room of boring adult talks, as he follows you and Maki to your room. It was almost as if your body had gone into auto-pilot mode; you were moving without having to think—or rather, your brain was clouded with Suguru's presence, and you couldn't think.

All of it felt wrong. He wasn't supposed to be in your home, let alone your room. And, even though Maki was there too, it didn't help the blaring alarms going off in your brain.

"This is it," your hand gestured at the book shelf filled with books, top to bottom. 

Suguru let out a small chuckle. "I think we have very different ideas of 'a lot of books'." He plopped down on your study chair, while Maki snickered and made herself comfortable on your bed. 

"What do you mean?" You sat beside Maki, turning your head from her to Suguru, trying to find out the object of their amusement. "What is it?" You looked at her sheepishly. 

Maki turns your head towards her, squishing your face in her palms with a look of jest and something motherly. "He likes reading novels, not text books, honey."

"Oh!" you exclaimed, feeling very stupid. How were you supposed to know that he liked fiction? It's not like you ever crept up on him to get a peek at his paperback. "I'm sure I can find some novels for you too! You could've just said so." You sprung up from your place and walked towards your book shelf to find one. You were determined to find a book for him now.

"What genre do you like?" You said, knowing full well you might not even have something close to it.

"Nevermind. I don't feel like reading in the first place; I just wanted to get away from the parents. No  offense." He swung around in your chair. "What else have you got?" 

And something in your brain shifted. He looked so comfortable in your house. It was astonishing. Truly. While you racked your brain trying to adjust to his presence, he looked like he had always belonged there, swinging so freely in your chair. As if you had known each other for a very long time.

For a moment, you forgot about Maki's presence, drowning in his beauty. His eyes, lips. his hair, falling perfectly into place. His voice. It was like he was hand-sculpted with so much care. Until you were brought back to your reality by an elbow to your side. "You should give that a rest unless you want to puncture a hole in me," you pouted at her, rubbing your side to ease the pain.

She, in turn, snickered at you, "What are you so lost in thought about?"

Suguru Geto!

Wasn't it obvious? But, you were kinda thankful that neither of them noticed. "Dinner should be ready by now, right? I'm starving!" You exclaimed, trying to change the topic as fast as you could, dragging Maki by her hand and cocking your head at Suguru, "Let's go."

"You can't just ignore my question like that, you-" her words were cut short by your hand on her ringing phone, "Someone's calling," You swung it near her face in haste.

"Just you and your luck." She whispered to you and gave you her signature scowl before answering her phone.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" You tried making small talk while Maki was busy on the phone, trying your best to not have Suguru notice your tiny, little crush on him. That had to be why you had been acting so strange since you got home, completely zoned out and clueless.

"Bad news, I gotta go" She stuffed her phone back in her jeans.

"No! Why?" You frowned. "Dinner's just ready."

"I know, but I think it's urgent." She rushed back upstairs to grab her bag. "I'll have to call a rain check on the project today, sorry."

"Don't worry about the project. Is everything okay?" You call after her, but she'd already disappeared out of your sight, "I'll ask Mom to pack her some food."

You rush to your mom to explain everything to her, while she packs Maki's portion of the dinner for her. "It's going to get cold by the time she'll eat it" She sighed.

"Go safely!" You hand Maki her dinner, seeing her off like a military wife. "I wish you could stay longer."

"Who's being dramatic now, huh?" She shook her head with laughter at your antics.

You were just glad you could make her laugh. "I'll call you later!" You called after her as you watched her leave, to which she turned around to wave at you.

***

Soon enough dinner was over too and the guests were beginning to leave.

You were now much more comfortable in Suguru's presence. More than you'd like to admit. And, you didn't completely hate the thought of it. He could be a good guy, after all.

You wondered how the rest of your school year would be, now that you'd practically befriended the School's ace, the most sought after guy, as you and your family walked the Geto's to the driveway.

While the parents bid good nights to each other, Suguru quietly popped up beside you, "I'm looking forward to seeing you more often, neighbor." Before running ahead to catch up with his parents, turning back slightly to get a final glimpse of you.

It's going to be a long year.

Tags: @mandysfanfics

[sapphic-agent]

I really hope my ask won't be seen as mean, hope to word correctly....bc your last post about how Eri and Shig do share some common ground. I agree but it irks me how LoV stans use this to make shig sound not so bad.

Many fics and arts where "shig saved Eri" exists as Eri is an accessory for Shig and nothing else.

I do see the paralels here. I do wonder about the mother....did overhaul killed her?

It's very convenient for the heroes to label Eri's quirk as good ...bc if she had just decay...she would be label as having a bad quirk. Maybe the heroes wouldn't care much. (Makes me wonder where are the healing quirks or medical advancement in this world)

But while they have a similar backstory...how Izu would possible know? I sincerely ask here bc AM went radio silence regards Shig to Izu, same with Gran and the police did a really lousy investigation (I'm assuming is lousy bc we don't see what they did and whatever they did it was one time thing) and didn't share the infos with Izu.

Does Izu knows about the nomus?

Im even surprised he knows shig is TENKO...but of course, such reveal is underwealming as fuck and him and Nana don't take at all.

Izu is mistreated by the narrative and no one talks to him ever.

Not to harpy on your post bc I agree this could have been useful....but like how Izu would know anything about Shig? Unless Shig tells or Izu becames the best hacker ever...or reads mind...he can't know. Ever.

I've said this before, but the reason Izuku doesn't understand Shigaraki is because they haven't interacted enough prior to the Final War.

Their conversation at the mall was a good moment. It shows that a) Izuku has the capacity to resonate with a villain's intent AND disagree with their actions (Stain), b) Shigaraki at this point didn't have a goal or direction, and c) it IS possible for Izuku to understand why hero society is corrupt. It also highlights the differences between them, attempting to show them as complete opposites.

The mall scene was a great way to explain the dynamic between them. And it's something that should have been expanded on throughout the story.

Admittedly, I don't know how Shigaraki's backstory would come up. But I'm sure it wouldn't be a hard thing to do. Didn't All Might pull up Tenko Shimura's disappearance? Maybe Izuku figures it out on his own somehow. Idk.

But to me, it doesn't even specifically have to be Tenko's actual past. It could be an implied thing that Izuku learns from watching how people treat Eri. Hell, part of him already has a clue from his fight with Shinsou.

(One thing I actually hate about Izuku's character is his inability to acknowledge the corruption of society despite being a victim of it. He started off being able to do this with Stain, but for some reason that just went away. He studies under Endeavor, even defends him to Dabi and tells Todoroki he's ready to forgive him. Lady Nagant spelled it out for him and he just... Doesn't react. Doesn't even think about what she said. This is on Horikoshi's awful writing decisions, but it's the one criticism of Izuku that's 100% valid)

Eri shouldn't be used for Shigaraki's redemption. I honestly wouldn't want her around any of the LOV, that's putting her in danger to make another character look better. It's the same issue that I have with Aizawa making Bakugou watch her.

But I do think that Izuku's experiences with the people around him- which includes Eri- should give him a broader worldview. That's typically how development and growth work. If Izuku was going to reach out and try to save Shigaraki, it should have been with an understanding of how society failed Shigaraki.

Saving him also could have meant a lot of different things. Saving Shigaraki from AFO's influence/brainwashing wasn't a bad goal. Saving him from himself, though, is different. People have to want to change, you can't make them. You can give them support, but Izuku wasn't in a position to do so because he's, y'know, a sixteen year old who isn't even an official pro hero. Of course he wasn't equipped for this. Most actual pros wouldn't have been

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[leolingo]

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

[unalloyedmiquella]

**i am 30 hours into da4 at the time of writing this post. i just finished the seige at weisshaupt**

oh dragon age the veilguard, how i have mixed feelings about you

idk who thought it was a good idea to hire someone who has absolutely no experience making fantasy rpgs and almost no experience making games period as one of the lead directors. its extremely obvious.

the best way i can put this is that this feels like a game that was made for a younger audience, a demographic that was not the original or majority of the fanbase. if corrine busch wanted to make a more “accessible” game, she should have worked on a different or original title (no im not talking about the difficulty choices)

this is a 15 year old franchise with a huge fanbase. i think its okay if people need to do some hw before playing.

and the other one? john epler, having him as a director was effectively useless. as a former qa employee and cinematic designer, he wasnt the right fit for the role of “making sure it felt like dragon age”

when it comes to plot, its solid. i love the lore reveals, but this is like you took thedas and made everyone on your side abject “good.” everyone here uses therapy speak, and there is no conflict. even if you piss a companion off, there virtually no difference in how they treat you like it feels like disapproval doesnt matter

what happened to the game that let me tell off a homophobic clergy woman? the game where a mage defended the circle? the game where you can PUNCH a companion?? sera was one of my favs from dai bc she was a mean lesbian, (and now everyone is passive and playersexual. snore) da is so impactful because of its complex and nuanced characters.

i want companions to feel like real people, not archetypes. in some ways da4 feels like a step back with character interactions. the nuance is gone here.

rook and the team is abject good, you cannot be evil, mean, or morally gray. you cant be bitchy, you are good, you are the teams therapist. i think this hurts the narrative and imerssion. i think the player should be able to actually craft a personality for rook, and not have the devs morals thrust unto you.

this game is so afraid to be problematic that it ends up turning something that could have been the best in the franchise, into an at times mediocre game.

the visually stunning graphics, stylized and saturated art style, and intuitive + fun combat mechanics, and lore /reveals/, keep me playing, but i cant help but roll my eyes when rook or the companions talk like they watched a bunch of pop psychology videos on tiktok.

edit: something else that actually truly drives me insane about this game is the hand holding. you will watch a cutscene that very obviously tells you what to do next and what will happen next, as soon as its over, rook and your companions all seem to have dialogue telling you want to do. this is my biggest, and imo most valid criticism of the game.

you’ll enter an area thats obviously a puzzle, and you destroy the crystals or turn a mechanism or destroy blight, and you get more dialogue counting how many more things you need to destroy, or tell you what to do despite the mere visual of the puzzle making it obvious what it is you need to do.

i hate it when games treat you like an idiot. these devs dont have any faith in the players intelligence to figure out very simple things.

if the dialogue is not plot relevant or if its not relationship building, it is unnecessary. stop telling me what to do, i know what to do.

i’ll probably make a separate post about how i despise the way trans narrative is handled and how corny and dumb the dialogue choices for that are.

i love that the option is there, i wanted this to be part of the game since dai has a trans male npc, but can i like … be normal about it? it feels inauthentic and i personally dont think the actual word “trans” belongs in a fantasy setting. come up with something else. it pulls me out of the world, it is immersion breaking. it makes it feel less medieval fantasy

[ganeshpnf]

heyyyyy! i see a lot of criticism on wottg lately and i think they are sooo right. what's your opinion on wottg?

Hmm I already shared a bit of my thoughts about it but who am I to hurt you? Im just gonna rant again and more detailed I guess XD

First of all, I was soo confused by how rushed it was. You can even tell it by the title names. The book felt like it was written in one night. The mistakes also proves it. Editor was asleep? I dont know. Rick is just too old? I dont know. The worst of all, Rick doesnt care enough to put efford anymore? I still dont know, but it sure feels like it. Leo is treated like he is fine and daisy, Clovis being Morpheus's son, weird huge typo mistakes...

Not to mention characters were so ooc. And no Im not talking about: Annabeth threw a party, thats so ooc. I think she was so in character for that one. In fact, that part was my favourite in the book. It was good to remember her rebellious side after show messed her up with her goody two shoes personality. The real issue was Annabeth's and Percy's dynamics felt like they had 0 development in pjo. Wdym that girl is suprised when Percy comforts her? I just read SOM and I can pull so many scenes of Percy comforting her. Wdym Annabeth is fucking surprised when Percy acts all smart? How old they are? 12? (I suggest reading @lilislegacy s criticism for this parts, it was more detailed and so right!)

Its so obvious that Rick wrote this book when he was working on the show and wanted to merge them both together, which is soo wrong in my opinion. Look I like show actors, they are fine with the tv show. But they are NOT the book characters, they are actors. Walker is not Percy Jackson, he is the actor of him in the show. Leah is not Annabeth Chase, she is the actor of her in the show. Aryan is not Grover, he is actor of him in the show. I think Rick and some fans tbh, dont understand this fact. I love them and they deserve to be shine in the big screen, but books should stay books. When we open the book, we should see the book characters, not them. Book canon and show canon should never be together. Because no, they are not the same and would never be. Rick spent this whole book on advertasing his tv show and it was too cringe. Olympus+? Really Rick?

One of the weird thing was also adding Chiron's injury. I was confused bcs like I was sure Percy rode on him before and I know he would notice this. Its just makes 0 sense.

Were they good stuff? Yes, trio's scenes in general werr adorable. Seeing old campers again also. But I want to add that Rick lost a big chance to make this book shine. Where is Jason? Even mention of him would be a big hit, imagine him in that party. I know even with these mistakes, this book would be a hit. Also so many fans wanted this Idk why he didn't go for it.

I like Rick, even though he makes me so angry with this kind of stuff. He gave me a perfect childhood with this characters. But that doesnt mean I have to agree with his every decision and support him no matter what. Idk if he is getting old or anything but this book was just a fanfiction. And not a good fanfiction because I know I see so many better written fanfictions. I hope he fixes his mistakes in the next book because I am still hopeful, even though I am a bit scared. I still want the next book soo bad. Wishing it would be more like Chalice you know :)

Oh and before I finish it, I am forever mad for him mixing Annabeth's lemon shampoo!!! I'm sorry but that was special to me. Apple shampoo? Wdym usual apple shampoo? Someone need to fix this typo mistakes!

Thank you for your ask anon :)

[codenamesazanka]

i dropped mha awhile ago bc it was getting a bitttt too copaganda-y for me and you are like one of three mha blogs i still follow i tuned back in again just to find out the ending im so sorry to shigaraki he shouldve at least been allowed to destroy mount fuji rip king he’ll be spitting on heroes from the skys now….. the kinda split reaction between the japanese fans and western fans is interesting to me it kinda feels like fans are reacting to two different stories? or like focused on very different aspects? anyways thanks for what you do keep it up 👍🏻

Thank you for all your follow and love for all these years!!!! <3333 i'm really happy and grateful and I hope i've kept you entertained the whole time!!!!

Yeah, BnHA is very adamant about its Heroes! So! Cool! Worship Them Like Gods! thing. Just when you think it'll be deconstructing the concept of Hero Society, All Might comes back to be fueled by the wishing energy of the world to inject acid into his opponent. Quite a choice. I'm so just in it for the villains. Sorry it didn't work out for you! And sorry you had to come back to Shigaraki ending up like that. 😭😭😭so far. He really should've been allowed to destroy Mt. Fuji.

As for the contrast between the Japanese fandom and the English-speaking fandom... I caution my observations being the whole and objective truth!

I'm much more familiar with Villain Fans Section of the English-speaking fandom; and while we're very loud and vocal, it does seem like the majority opinion is that Heroes are cool, Villains are bad, ending is acceptable. Meanwhile, I'm looking only at japanese tweets through keywords, and they're bound to be more positive because it seems like people avoid tagging their hate; anonymous message boards are freer with their criticism, but there's still never essay-length rants. I'm sure there has bound to be those existing somewhere, but with my mainly surface access into jfandom, I wouldn't know where to look for them.

Plus, there are a few people in jfandom who have the same gripes: why is Endeavor allowed to continue to be a Hero; the heteromorph resolution is majority-oriented and unfair to the minorities; the social issues aspect should've been addressed more; Deku shouldn't have invaded Shigaraki's mind like that, and it's a bit concerning that he seems to have no reaction to the total annihilation of a man in front of him, etc. Not a lot, and, as I said, not as vocal as in English-speaking fandom, but they're there.

However, from my observations, in my opinion I think there are a few key differences:

Shonen Jump is about the protag Heroes. What it is and should be. I think bnha is pointed out to be pretty uniquely sympathetic to its villains?

jfandom are much less lenient towards the Villains. They can love the League, they can criticize Heroes, but they readily acknowledge that the League have done terrible things and should be punished accordingly. Doesn't matter their sad backstories; they still hurt people and they need to pay for that. They're unforgivable. Like, the idea that Tenko killing his family - even if completely by accident, even if manipulated - is a sin no matter what and he should atone for it, is more prominent. (There are also people who will forever know Bakugou as the 'jump off the roof' bully and never forgive him no matter how much development he goes through.)

The concept of 'saving' seems to be more focused on saving the heart, freeing someone from suffering, giving them relief. It does not necessarily mean not killing them, or ever forgiving them, or ever considering them likeable.

the concept of 'the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few' seems to also be somewhat more significant. of course the few should be accepted and treated right, and they should be accommodated, but it's best to... avoid causing trouble for other (normal) people, let's say. Sometimes, though, the few can't be made to feel accepted, and that's how things are. It's a pity. There are definitely people fighting against this idea, and English-speaking fandom isn't exempt from this either (soooo many 'wow Toga is just a psychopath' takes still existing; and also 'who cares about Muscular' even from the Villain fans), but it's a thing.

Jfandom appears to like it more that Shigaraki sticks to his guns. to the very end, he's stays true to the League; he stands by his choices and actions even if they were under undue influence; and he's a Hero to the Villains. Loyalty and a strong conviction are valued. Seems to be less fretting whether Tenko and Tomura are separate people/identities/persona. (Still a few who think 'Shimura Tenko' will come back.)

and so end result is that overall, Deku did do his job, and admirably at that. He didn't ignore The Crying Child when he could've/should've because Shigaraki was already unforgivable for his actions at Jaku (and before); he saved Shigaraki/Tenko's heart by providing relief, but that doesn't necessarily mean he needed to understand or befriend Shigaraki, or that Shigaraki should be converted (for lack of better word) and saved physically; he's a Hero who stopped a threat and saved the world; and Shigaraki disintegrating is simply just desserts.

But like I said above, it could be that those points aren't specific at all to jfandom. There are certainly a lot of people who think the ending is great and satisfying in the english-speaking fandom (and from what i've seen of machine-translated spanish/french/portuguese/etc tweets, also those fandoms). It's just the critiques are very in your face, and Villain fans are very vocal. I know I certainly am.

Thanks for the ask!!!!!

[sunny-reis]

Can I request headcannons with poly vbs reader who's like wonyoung from ive?

(Job and appearance wise)

hcs - vvbs w/a wonyoung-like reader

an: you bet your ass you can !! i saw wonyoung and did a little jump for joy (mentally)

tags: somewhat-feminine!reader, idol!reader, reader's a member of more more jump! or some adjacent j-pop group, ppl give idol!reader shit (much like wonyoung) but they handle it like the slayboss they are

🎀 okay first of all

🎧 bc you're wonyoung-like i have to clarify that yes, ppl on the internet criticize you for no fucking reason ! not cool but it izz what it izz

🍓 you don't let it bother you because you're just Better Than That (plus you're rich, loved, and confident, why should you?)

🎀 assume you're a very popular, well-liked member of mmj! and you've had a pretty large following from a past career as a soloist

🎧 i hc an and akito as big idol fans (akito would rather die than have you find out he used to be a die-hard fan of yours, posters and merch and all stashed in his closet), so they'd definitely support you at gigs and performances!! front row seats and banners babeyyyy

🍓 kohane doesn't really listen to idol music and toya... is toya. but they'd prefer to watch you dance/dance with you!! especially during the rare moments when your normally-PACKED schedule is empty for once !!

🎀 watch you three be stuck in the company practice rooms for hours on end (assuming akito and an join later/for less time since they're Busy doing Stuff . yeah)

🎧 now for specifics !!

🍓 akito defends you from antis online . user ynlover123? that's him [he has multiple side accounts on every social media you can think of]

🎀 every time a clip of you doing something random but Cutely (like wony's little happy dance and the video of her eating a strawberry) you get So Much shit for it. god forbid a girl (g/n) do anything

🎧 Haters be hating 😂

🍓 an is a full on fansite dude (idk why but she seems like a photographer to me. i haven't played through the vvbs story don't @ me)

🎀 fansign? concert in tokyo? popup event? coffee shop event? private performance? she's there with her big ahh camera and filters and light boxes

🎧 you think you look ridiculous in the pictures she takes but to Literally Everyone Else you look ethereal !! like that one relatively recent pic of wony at the airport - everyone (but you) goes wild bc. yeah

🍓 kohane and toya are there to comfort you and make sure you take care of yourself when things get rough

🎀 ik that sounds generic and bland as hell but HEAR ME OUT !!!

🎧 i hc kohane is like a walking heater!! she gives the best hugs that make you never wanna get up from bed (best lazy day partner fr)

🍓 toya isn't a good cook but he'd try to make snacks and your favorite food for you !! good thing you had to take acting classes bc ... he could've tried harder 🗿

🎀 thankfully he can at least cut fruit without losing a limb, so in classic asian mom fashion, he brings you plates of fruit when you're feeling down - he and kohane make sure you finish it all (and kohane sneaks some pieces while toya's not looking 😁)

🎧 (tbf she looks like a squirrel bc of how chubby her cheeks are - im not immune to the kohane rodent agenda)

🍓 all in all i feel like it'd be a really understanding relationship with poly!vvbs - they're dancers so they get how tiring it is, and especially with industry-induced worries, they'd be there to support you and make you feel loved no matter what!

[naneun-no]

Hi! So... Am I the only one who thinks Jikook haven't been living under the same roof for quite a while now? I feel like some people, esp Jikookers, don't even want to see it as a possibility, but if we don't want to start acting like a cult we need to start developing some critical thinking (which I think is healthy and needs to be done) Also, I've seen a lot of people say "JK is having a hard time, imagine not spending every second with your partner like you used to bc of his crazy schedule" and tbh, I was thinking just like that at first, but now? Jimin is busy, yes of course, but he clearly has time to hang out with Hobi or even going to visit Jin (which was so nice to see btw, not complaining) I honestly don't think JK and Jimin are hanging out much, actually, I dont even think they see each other often, since JK seems to be living his best introverted life and quite isolated from the rest of the boys (except Tae, which Im kind of glad, at least he is getting out of the house and having a good time) Maybe we should start considering the possibility of them just not sharing time bc they simply chose to and not bc Jimin is busy with his album. I now what they chose to share with us is just a small part of their lives, and there could be a million other possible scenarios, Im not saying Im right or wrong, just what's been on my mind lately. Im not coming here as an insecure Jikooker to seek for aproval, or with bad intentions, Im just sharing my thoughts and genuinely curious to know if anyone else thinks on a similar way. Thank you for taking the time to read💜

Hey! I appreciate the kind way you phrased all of this. In short, if you’ve ever read anything I’ve posted you know what I’m gonna say next: maybe that’s true and feel free to think that 🤷‍♀️

I still don’t get why the idea that they’ve chosen not to spend any time together (which we have no evidence of except for a lack of evidence the other way) is more compelling than the idea that they do in fact spend plenty of time together and just don’t share it (which we also have no evidence of except for the way they treat each other when we do see them). Both have a dearth of evidence, except one seems out of character.

Does that make sense? Like it’s perfectly possible they don’t hang. But also, they were like magnets on all the final Run BTS episodes. Not just magnets but affectionate, touchy, best-friend-or-more type magnets. But also, Jung Kook asked Jimin to come over during a recent live, while being all giggly and cheesy and excited to see him. It didn’t seem like a “it’s been so long, I’m saying this just out of an awkward sense of duty,” to me — it seemed like something that probably happens often. Jimin said something to the effect of “I’ll come after work” or something close, right? (He said many other things too but that was the only one that correlated directly to hanging out other than the one where he expressed desire to tie back JK’s hair which could be innocuous or could be something he does when they hang out, who knows?). But also, JK told his boxing instructor that JM would come soon, but also JM talked to that same instructor like he knew him well, and likely has gone with JK to lessons in the past. But also, it really hasn’t been that long since JK’s weirdly sexual/teasing birthday video for Jimin and now several members have had birthdays pass and nobody else got that treatment. But also… the list goes on, I’m sure there’s more but my coffee’s getting cold.

So, I can’t speak for all Jikookers because we are in fact not a cult, so there aren’t established patterns of belief that we all must adhere to. You think maybe they’ve stopped hanging out cause they haven’t shared it with you. Cool. Many others, myself included, think it’s unlikely that you would abruptly stop hanging out with someone who clearly means so much to you while still continuing to treat said person in a loving, flirty, domestic manner. They don’t act like exes, not even a little bit, so we have no reason to think they are. I think it seems much more in character for them to be preserving the final shreds of privacy they have to protect the relationship that means more to them than the other ones; or at least means something different.

Idk, but if you actually believed them to be dating at any point, or even just as close of friends as they appear, regardless of dating, think of how that would look if they suddenly stopped speaking.

Remember when Tae and JK did kinda stop hanging out? Remember how it was kind of obvious through their interactions that they weren’t as close, and then they full on addressed it in that conversation and talked about how they needed to put more effort into their friendship (which kudos to them, like you said, seems like they are). If anything, Jimin and JK’s relationship over the years has seemed even more close and symbiotic than almost any other friendship in the group except maybe vmin. So I would think if that was crumbling away, we’d see a lot more in their interactions than giggly, sweet, heart eyes and “eat well my baby” comments.

Feel free to disagree!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

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reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

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watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

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playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

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making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

[determinate-negation]

what are your thoughts on this post? (i hope the link doesnt kill this ask, i’m not sure how to edit it so it doesnt so that):

https://(…)www.tumblr.com/(…)tributary/(…)732119807094390785/(…)maybe-i-do-if-it-isnt-the-tea-youve-been

(if this ask goes thru, deleting the parentheses-ellipses should make it work)

brendanicus sucks bc he’s an anti-Black pos, so i’m not seeking to defend him. but i feel like claiming it’s anti-semitic to criticize US media (which has imperialist and capitalist reasons to be pro-israel) is somewhat of a reach, as well as saying the use of the term “blood money” (which we all know is a common term, and an applicable one with how much international funding israel gets to support it’s military violence) is an anti-semitic dogwhistle… i’m not jewish, so i’m not an expert. i sent an ask to a different jewish tumblr user about this post, but they decided i was anti-semitic (for disagreeing with the post, but also bc apparently i was accusing jews of being liars). however, that user seems to have some pro-israel bias and thinks anti-zionism is rooted in anti-semitism, so idk how much stock i can put in their assessment. i’ve been trying to remain self-aware, but things are getting confusing for me when leftists that i thought were anti-zionist are claiming it’s anti-semitic to support palestine

i think im blocked by op because whenever i try to put in the link it says theres nothing there. can someone send me a screenshot?

dont mean to start beef but brendanicus is mad annoying ngl, and his posts are not always the most informed. but anyways. i think i saw his post earlier so ill try to infer, though i dont know what the persons comment is. i dont think "blood money" is antisemitic. as you said its a common term and its also an accurate description. i find this so fucking ridiculous for people to keep getting accused of antisemitism just for basically pointing out that israel is violent and a lot of western money goes into supporting israel- these have to do with capitalism and imperialism not secret jewish plots.

im probably blocked for antizionism crimes tbh, which shows you all you need to know. quite frankly a lot of so called leftists are actually liberals who never really interrogated their beliefs and dont care to study and engage with history and theory. they maintain a liberal mentality, on power and violence and ideology, and especially the jumblr users on here really still believe a lot of zionist propaganda. thats why theyre claiming its antisemitic to support palestine. thats simply it. ive been really trying show why its not antisemitic to criticize biased imperialist media and its just a basic part of marxist analysis and its doing more harm than good to call this antisemitic.