#im still trying to perfect how their minds work its all still very

[lavenderspence]

unexplained sadness | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader | Word Count: 2.5K

Content warning: pre-established relationship, depression, mental health struggles, mentions of therapy, angst, supportive!aaron

Summary: you've struggled to find a way out from under the darkness for years, but you were thankful he offered the final push you needed.

A/N: I drafted this a few days, contemplating if I should even post it. it's very self-indulgent. I wrote it at a time when I wasn't able to understand my own feelings, and im still not sure how. I think this is the realest my writing has been, but i do think I'm posting this with the most vulnerability as well. I want you all to remember, just in case you're struggling - you're amazing, you're enough and I believe in you. Life is crazy, but it will get better, allow yourself to be patient, and most importantly, take the greatest, most gentle care of yourself 💕

You looked around, well aware of the amount of relief that should be flooding your body right now. It usually did at the end of a case, where another monster was put to rot in a cage much appropriate for its’ sins. 

But even knowing what you should be feeling, the simple truth was - you weren’t feeling anything at all, and you hadn’t for a while. 

And even when you did feel something, you could never explain it. It was a mess, where many emotions fought a battle, but in the end, all it came down to was an endless void where the darkness and despair of the unexplained won out.

The only thing you could feel at that moment was the pressure of the vest compressing against your chest. It stole the little amount of oxygen in your lungs in favor of an overwhelming amount of hidden sadness. 

Even with the sun high up in the sky and the warmth it was supposed to spread all over your skin, you felt cold - no warmth actually penetrated the top layer of your skin. And the chatter - EMTs, police officers, and outlookers, you couldn’t process anything at all. 

It was like you were standing there, like a statue, a headstone to remind everyone of your presence once upon a time, but not anymore. Physically, you were alive and aware, but mentally, you’ve been fighting a battle you could confidently admit you were losing. 

Your thoughts were deeply wrapped in a cobweb of confusion and melancholy, a never-ending cycle that couldn’t stop repeating itself. It felt like you didn’t exist outside the realm of your own despair. Each day the shadows around you persisted in their pursuit of you, dragging in with them this empty feeling, designed to leave you feeling like a loner. 

The string holding you tethered to the person you’d been before was tinning each day as the distance between you grew bigger and bigger. You no longer even felt her presence at all. For weeks you’ve fought a silent battle against your own mind, and even your body sometimes. 

You tried to hide behind a mask of fake smiles and nights spent around the people you trusted most, hoping you’d feel better, but you never did. You only felt this state you were in, as it gained speed and grew in volume. 

But there was a certain pair of eyes that saw the subtle changes in you, straight into a place even you couldn’t see. Warm chocolate, sometimes shining amber in the sun - somehow strict but also oh so soft. 

You thought you hid it well, but you could never hide yourself from him, and you should have known. 

Your hotel room was dark and quiet, safe for the gentle light and sound that came from the TV. A movie was playing, an early 2000s song in the background. The duvet felt heavy over your body, and you longed to kick it off in an effort to feel less trapped, but you couldn’t find the strength to. It was like your whole body was paralyzed in a fatal position with your muscles locked and your eyes open but unseeing. 

Case after case came, and each day it got harder. You had to try and perfect a mask you were getting tired of wearing, tired of hiding behind. You couldn’t skip work, lest you wanted to feel like more of a failure than you already did sometimes. 

You felt scared to admit to your struggles, half unsure what your struggles were to begin with, half unwilling to unload on others. You were willing to suffer and fight this on your own until you either had nothing left to fight against or no strength left to fight at all.

Your mind was working overtime, half empty and dark, half full and constantly spinning, you didn’t even process the foreign sound at first. Only it wasn’t so foreign - a series of gentle raps or someone’s knuckles against the door. Knocking. They were just enough to alert you of a newcoming presence but not disturb you or others in any way. 

You didn’t move a muscle. Even when two more knocks followed, even more gentle than the first, all you could do was blink. Even with the soft call of your name that came seconds later, you couldn’t find the strength to answer or even get up. You couldn’t even twitch. 

You stood there frozen in place, in time. Frozen between the walls of a prison of your own mind’s making. 

The knocks stopped, as did the voice calling out your name, maybe finally resigned to the fact you weren’t answering at all. 

Giving up on you the way you’d given up on yourself. 

You would be surprised if you didn’t feel a tiny bit of relief at being left on your own. Too bad the relief didn’t actually last long - just seconds after the lock beeped, signaling it was unlocked, and the door was slowly opening, bathing the room in the hallway light. 

Even with the small, hesitant steps this person took, you were instantly able to tell by the sounds of his feet hitting the wooden floor who it was. 

“Did you know it’s actually illegal to break into someone’s space?” Your voice came out raspy from misuse. You weren’t sure how much time had actually passed since you made it to your room, but if you had to guess, probably several hours had gone by.

“I do know that actually, it’s criminal law 101.” He retorted before you felt the mattress dip close to your feet, “You missed dinner.” He mussed.

A part of you couldn’t handle having a conversation with him, not right now. Not in the complete darkness, and the quiet stretched between you both. 

“I wasn’t hungry.” You answered simply. You waited for him to say something, and you waited and waited, and he wasn’t saying anything. It was like he was looking for the right words to use, so as not to offend you, or set you off. But you wouldn’t feel any of it if he did - just as the night was dark outside and so was your mind. 

“Just spit it out, Hotch.” You finally used a part of his name, unintentionally closing the distance the smallest bit even when you tried to stay away. Maybe subconsciously you knew you could trust him, if a little.  

“You’re not doing well.” 

You didn’t even hesitate. “Wow, way to show you aren't actually a gentleman.”

“I’m not trying to...” You could almost see him shaking his head, so in tune with his reactions from years of working alongside him, “I’m worried about you.” It left him in a whisper, like he was afraid to admit it. 

“I’m okay, there’s no need.” You denied it like it was your biggest defense against his accusations. Except they weren’t that, genuine worry dripped along with his words, but you had a hard time accepting it. You couldn’t, didn’t want to. Being vulnerable, especially in front of him, could cost you a lot, and with the way you’ve been living, you couldn’t afford it.

Even when deep in your heart you trusted him with everything, even yourself. 

You felt him place his hand on the duvet, enclasping his palm around your calf. “You were okay five weeks ago, and you haven’t been since then. I’ve been watching you wear a mark and barely holding yourself from falling apart. I don’t think ‘okay’ applies right now.” 

“I thought we promised not to profile each other.” You muttered brokenly, feeling parts of the mask he was talking about cracking in places. It was like having him so close, peeling your outer layers slowly, and leaving you exposed, finally making your emotional reactions coincide with your lack of understanding. It was like he was exposing all of you both to himself and you too. 

“Not at the expense of suffering in silence, we didn’t.” He answered with conviction, no hesitation. He was making it apparent your wellbeing was more important to him than any promise he might have made to you or others. He was letting you know he was prioritizing your health over everything else. 

He understood you even without you having to say anything. Just by watching you try to swim to the surface of the ocean and still being pushed by the crashing waves, he could already feel that you were struggling. 

He could see you were self-isolating, even when you were being surrounded by people. He picked up on the signs in the subtle subject changes you made whenever someone asked anything about you. You were unwilling to share, even though you loved sharing any little detail about your interest, allowing others to do the same. 

You let Garcia talk about her software and cute animals and allowed Reid to share any little fact with you he could. But even when you listened, it wasn’t hard to see you really weren’t. Staring into spaces or faking an interest, even though he knew you would be interested in the first place, had there not been anything amis to begin with. 

And slowly piece after piece had started falling together, like a puzzle started, yet left abandoned. 

In the darkness of the hotel room, miles away from your home and mere doors down from the rest of your team, a piece deep inside you started longing for the understanding he was offering. It started building up with worry over the reality of the words you knew you needed to say but were too scared to. It started wishing for a new slate, where the overwhelming amount of confusion and empty darkness no longer followed you like a shadow. 

It slowly started coming to terms with the fact that you weren’t enough to fight this on your own and that maybe you needed help to do so.

For the first time in weeks, months, who knew, maybe even years, you wanted to talk about it. You wanted to admit to your state of mind where reality got mangled with your deepest darkest thoughts imaginable, where self-doubt and the feeling of worthlessness took over. Where giving up sounded so much better than trying out again. Where any positivity was instantly turned into negativity whether you liked it or not. 

For the first time you craved being helped, you wanted to understand your own struggles and get better. You wanted to thrive in the life you were leaving instead of settling for simply existing. You wanted to talk, and you wanted to tell him all that. 

You rolled your lips between your teeth before you bit down until you tasted blood. One of your hands barely made it out from underneath the warmth of the duvet before you grabbed into the bedding with a tight fist. 

“I don’t think I’m doing okay, Aaron.” You whispered into the darkness. The bed dipped and groaned as he moved closer, settling just centimeters away from your cocoon this time. You were so busy looking over the skyline that you didn’t even see his hand move until you felt his warm palm overtop your skin. He held onto you, trying to prompt you into releasing the bedding, tapping his fingers in a gentle manner. 

He was offering you comfort without really saying or doing anything. He was letting you try and put your thoughts together before you entrusted him with the truth. 

“One minute I’m good, and the next it feels like I lose all touch with my own self and my feelings - It’s all empty, or an overwhelming amount of sadness I couldn’t begin to even understand. I can’t even grasp what prompts this sudden change. I’ve tried fighting it for so long, years maybe, and each time it comes back, I’m left feeling more hopeless than the last.” You explained in a small voice. 

A wave of relief, if small, rocked your whole body. There was something freeling about saying it out loud, ignoring the fear of admitting that had followed you for years. 

“Have you ever told anyone about it?” His voice was just another shadow in the room. A timbre so calm, quiet, and soothing that you knew he was listening with no reservations and no judgments. Just a pure need to help.

You went to shake your head, but remembered you were both still looking towards the window. “I’ve always played it off as a joke. I’ve never let it sound like I really mean it. Not like I do right now.” It was one of the many truths you’d admitted to that night. Even when you played it off, you knew deep inside it was a small cry for help you didn’t want to. You were unwilling to take the right steps in order to get the help you needed. 

“Why joke about it?” You thought about it for a second, trying to clear out the fog of the past.

“I guess…” Your fingers clenched underneath his own. “I guess I just wanted to see if anyone cared enough to ask if I was serious. They didn’t.” Realistically, you knew you shouldn’t wait on other people or expect them to see something amiss before you looked for help. But a part deep enough inside you wanted the reassurance that someone loved you enough to notice.

“But you want to get help?” He mumbled, still tapping his finger against your own.

“Yes.” You didn’t even have to think about it. You owed yourself that much, and all the help possible you could get.

“Okay.” He exhaled in relief, “As soon as we get back, we’ll start looking, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You whispered. You felt his hand squeeze your own in reassurance. You turned your palm up, enveloped his own hand, and gave him one back, “Thank you, Aaron.”

A few minutes of looking at the starless sky passed before he prompted you to move, if just enough to walk into the bathroom and wash your face - and you did. When you came back, he’d made himself comfortable leaning against the headboard, legs stretched on the mattress. 

He spent the night sleeping in yesterday’s clothes, trying to make sure you were doing okay and weren’t left feeling lonely. 

You knew there was a long path ahead of you - the path to self-understanding and acceptance of your own flaws and struggles, as well as the changes you may need to adapt to moving forward. Something you were undoubtedly going to have a hard time with. Where you’d need to fight against the days when you questioned whether it was worth it. Where you’d slowly have to come to terms with the fact that as long as you were making yourself happy and keeping yourself afloat, there wasn’t anything worth more. 

The path to recovery was never supposed to be easy or linear, but you had him to thank for being the final push. You had to be thankful for each minute of the time he gave you. And each grain of love he showed you in the process. 

You needed the help - for yourself, your past, your present, and your future self. And for every second you spent failing to understand the person you were and the feelings you held onto.

[celisea]

doodles... 

[horce-divorce]

So to be clear tumblr is the only social media i actually bother to use with any regularly, but sometimes you crave variety. For example sometimes going on reddit is a nice distraction, and my feed is all really interesting silly low-investment type posts that i can scroll thru and be entertained by without feeling like i have to engage. and other times it feels exactly like facebook. just suggested post after suggested post that makes me say "god you people are so fucking unbelievably stupid." posts seemingly hand picked to make me so enraged, the exact kind of shit I go online to AVOID.

currently it's recommending me a bunch of posts about "why does America have so much looting?" That have a bunch of responses like, "Because of the crime wave, no one prosecutes shoplifters, people have just noticed its so easy to get a group together on whatsapp, etc" and WHY? It thinks I would want or need these posts? Idfk??? I hang out in r/antiwork and like 3 other main subs about being homeless and random entertainment topics. I don't use reddit for politics or world events. I do NOT get my news from there.

Anyway there was also one recommended thread about "why do rural folk feel looked down upon by city folks?" And all the responses were, "yeah! It's them who are rude to the city people!" And when someone mentioned the lack of resources in rural areas, another person chimed in to say "well I lived in Detroit and now I live in a rural area and we have WAY more food and resources than Detroit does!" But the second anyone brings up, you know, the socioeconomic factors that influence that shit, everyone's like whining and crying bc their little brains can't handle ""bringing race into it."" someone had a different life experience than you?! Pft, sure, and then all the bystanders clapped! 🙄

idk it's like. the more time goes on, the wider economic gaps become, the more obvious it is how effectively people are brainwashed. It's not like the answers to these questions are hidden esoteric mysteries. It's not like people having different, individual experiences in life is new. Even my grandma understands that a) people aren't actually looting that much and b) even if they were, have you bought groceries in the past 3 years? if so, why are you even asking that question?? But you try to actually talk about how bad shits getting and these fuckers go into high gear defending The American Way Of Life and blaming individual choices. Ppl are drinking the Kool aid so hard and they think water is just supposed to fucking taste like that

[todayisafridaynight]

ok controversial opinion i actually dont mind kiryu and majima’s english voices

[snekdood]

Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.

[drchucktingle]

i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

[cindyss]

• - WHO DID THIS TO YOU? - •

PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader.

WARNING(S): fighting, swearing, smut.

SUMMARY: when y/n comes into class crying, Theo doesn’t let it slide and punishes who did it. Y/n then takes him back to her dorm to clean up and as they’re in a perfect position, he takes the chance to make a move.

A/N: english isn’t my first language so lmk if there’s anything wrong with this 🫶.

——————————————————

Headed to your last class for today, potions, you spot your ex, Cormac and his friends. You broke up 3 months ago and he still couldn’t let you go. Therefore, he found different ways to humiliate you, to make fun of you.

As you try to increase your pace, he plops himself in front of you stopping you in your place. “Tried something new with your hair today?” he chuckles, “or is it your face. All the makeup in the world can’t hide that ugly face of yours, neither the even uglier personality in there princess.” he continues pointing at your chest. “Neither the clothes you wear can hide your fat self under there.”

All his friends burst out laughing, humiliated, you run out of the way and to your class. Before you could stop it, a few tears manage to slip down your cheeks on your way there.

You get to class, greet your teacher and stand with the rest of your classmates. After professor Slughorn is finished with the explanation, he puts you into pairs to begin working on your potions.

You get paired up with theo, the boy who’s always trying to get on your nerves, and you’re given a book to start. You begin preparing the potion without saying a word so the tears don’t form again.

After around 5 minutes, theo speaks “mia signora (my lady), thats not the correct ingredient” of course its not, you could barely see with the tears formed in your eyes ready to start dropping any minute.

You look up at him and apologize ”sorry i just have a few things on my mind”. “Bella, why are you crying,” he takes your face in his hands. “Who did this to you, who made you cry, i know you don’t easily cry. Give me names” he says.

“Theo, let it go, it’s nothing im fine.” “No, no, im not letting it go. Someone makes you cry and i have to move on with my day? Give me names and make it much easier for the both of us.” “Cormac, he-” you say as you sob, and before you can continue, he storms out of the class.

“Need a minute, mr nott?” this from Slughorn. You run after the slytherin boy, “nott no!!” In an instant he finds cormac and turns him so that he’s facing theo. He punches him hard, very hard, cormac almost takes a bite out of the floor.

Just then, some of cormac’s friends attack theodore throwing punches and kicks at him, all which he manages to dodge. He’s quick and slick with every punch, every move. Cormac then gets up and speaks “got you a slytherin bf to take care of your problems then huh you little pussy?”

Theodore throws another punch his way and pins him on the floor, next to all his other bloodied, barely moving, friends. “listen to me you little bitch, come her way again and i will make your life a living hell, speak to her one more time and ill rip your tongue out, mention her name anywhere near me and ill make sure you forget how to breathe.”

You’re clueless, you have no clue what to do, you’re just standing there, in utter and ultimate shock. By then, students and teachers storm in the hallway, try to break the fight. Once they’re broken apart, you make your way to theodore.

He has blood dripping from his nose, on his hand, it was all over his face. He’s standing with his friends, matteo, draco, enzo, and blaise. “are you okay nott?” he gives you a quick nod.

Enzo then starts speaking “we offered taking him to the nurse to get him cleaned up but he wont go, maybe you can help clean his wounds, i heard your dad’s a doctor so maybe i thought you can help?”. “Of course i can, come theo I’ll help you from here.”

You take theodore from enzo adjusting his arm on your shoulder so he holds on, and you swear you could see matteo winking theo’s way. You then proceed to walk him to your dorm.

The whole way there none of you speaks a word, and once you get there, you lead him to the bathroom and make him wait there. You get the aid box and sit on the counter, you ask him to come closer and you begin.

You first start by cleaning his nose, the blood dripping from it. You then make your way to his forehead, you carefully remove some of his hair thats covering the part you need to clean.

As you clean him up, he’s looking at you. “It’s not very nice to stare” you tease. To that he doesn’t respond, he keeps his eyes on you so you try something else. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble bc of me, why would you do that? Don’t tell me you care.” you chuckle.

“What did he say to you?” he asks. “I know it was big so don’t try to lie to me bc I’m the only one who’s allowed to piss you off and be mean to you, hell, even ive never disrespected you or made you cry before!”

“Well, he asked if i changed anything in my appearance, he also said..” theo looks up at you. “.. that all the makeup in the world isnt enough to hide my ugly face or personality.” “That bastard!” you feel theo tense. “He also called me.. uhhm.. fat.” “Im gonna fucking kill him.” The boys swears.

“I really can handle it, but i dont know why it affected me to much this time.” you say as you clean his blood off. “I know you can, but let me. Let me teach that bastard a lesson.” “Fighting is not the solution though theodore.” “I know mia cara but I couldn’t control myself, i really didnt mean to but i lost control.” you could see the regret in his eyes.

“Its fine, just really appreciated that, thanks for everything nott.” You give him a small smile. You then start cleaning the blood on his mouth, placing your fingers on his lips, you make sure to clean everything thats left.

“Listen to me,” he cups your face, “he’s a dickhead for not seeing how great of a personality you have, you acquire a great personality, when youre caring and some times even when ur mean.” He gives you a little wink and lets out a snort.

“Thanks” you smile at him then slap a bandage on his nose, to stop his nose from bleeding. After theo realizes you’re done, his hands travel down to remove his own shirt. “Wh-“. Your eyes immediately travel to his abs body, his ab lines, it was if they were drawn on pen and paper.

“Its not very nice to stare,” he teases. “my stomach is also hurt, if you can’t help me with this ill just go back to my dorm” he says with a playful smirk. “No, no i can do something about it.” you get your stuff ready for a second round and then speak “this might hurt a little.”

You then raise the cloth with liquid on it in your hand and place it on his wound. He flinches at the pain and since he’s placed between your legs while you’re sat on the counter, he grabs onto your thigh. He gives it a little squeeze, “fuck cara mia, this hurts like a bitch” he closes his eyes in pain.

“Sorry Theo im almost done.” You apologize. As you finish, Theo looks down at you as you’re still placed on the counter in front of him. “You liked touching my abs didn’t you.” He smiled cockily at you. “As if you didn’t like my hands touching them.” Right back him. “and found a way to touch my thigh.”

“Listen to me, i got you caged up right here,” he says with his hands on either sides of you, “i can do whatever i want to you so you better shut your pretty little mouth up or i wont be able to control myself.” You blush at his comment and try to hide behind your hair to which he tucks it behind your ear.

“You’re so sexy when you’re nervous and shy like that bella ragazza.” He says. “Oh shut up, what does bella ragazza even mean?” you ask, genuine confusion taking over your face. “It means pretty girl.” He smirks. “You think im pretty then hm?” you blush.

He looks at your eyes, stares to be specific, then he looks at your lips for a few seconds before grabbing your face and connecting your lips. You place your hands on his shoulders as the kiss deepens. “Such a pretty girl, a perfect one.” He says in between kisses.

“fuck nott” you say as he places his hand on your cheek to deepen the kiss. He manages to slip his tongue inside your mouth which you moan slightly to. You feel the heat of your body as he places his hands under your thighs and carries you in his arms.

“But it’ll hurt you, nott we cant.” you speak, worried. “Cara mia, you really thought i was hurting?” he smirks, your eyes widen in surprise, you connect your lips again, as he carries you to your bed. He lays you there and removes your shirt slowly and carefully. He then removes the rest of your clothes and begins leaving trails of kisses on your stomach, your hands travel to his hair, playing with it as your stomach tenses at the feeling.

“So perfect,” he mumbles while still trailing kisses on every inch of skin he could get to. “you’re fucking perfect.” The blush takes over your face, uncontrollably making its way to touch ur ears.

His fingers slide down your hips to catch the lace of your panties, getting rid of them. He spreads your legs further and begins kissing the inside of your thighs. He then places a finger on your clit, rubbing circles around it, slowly at first. His movements then quicken, and he includes his tongue. In sync, his fingers circling your clit his tongue licking your clit, you could feel your pre-cum already.

He was so good at this, he was also good at teasing, you arch your back slightly in attempt to speed things up but he uses one hand to push you back down carefully. Then, he pushes 2 fingers inside you with no warning, you moan at the sudden feeling and tug at his hair.

As his tongue and fingers work in sync to throw you over the edge, he adds a third finger in and proceeds to throw your legs over his shoulders. Your feet dig into his skin as he speeds up his movements, back arching so that his face is practically buried in you, one hand grabbing the sheets, the other his hair.

“theo.. im gonna.. fuck!!” you struggle. “do it mia cara, cum on my face.” As he quickens his movements, you tense around him as he guides you through ur high. As you release, Theodore licks you clean, he then moves back up to you kissing you hungrily. “That was fucking amazing.” You praise him. “I don’t think i can walk anymore.” “Well, we’re not quite done yet, i still didnt make love to you yet.”

theo says, smirking as he removes his clothes. He’s just left in his boxers and when he reveals his hard and huge bulge, you gasp out loud. “I didn’t know this is what we’re dealing with, i dont think it’s gonna fit.” you look at theo “we’ll make it fit.” he smirks. Oh. God.

He spreads your legs again, and begins kissing you, at first it’s slow, his tongue slips inside your mouth. “You wanna be on top?” he asks. You nod and he flips over so that you’re laying on top of him. You position yourself properly and once you’re ready, you lower yourself slowly taking most of him in.

You then start moving up and down, riding him. Your hands lying on his stomach as you do so. “Think you can handle more of me?” he suggests. “I can try.” You smirk as you flip so he’s on top of you. He spreads your legs even further, as you take him all in. You moan his name at the feeling and he leans down to kiss you, you moan a few times into his mouth before he moves to kissing your neck. You grab onto the bed sheets for dear life as he kisses your neck on the weak spot.

“Cavolo, posso farlo tutto il giorno. mi prendi così perfettamente.” he says something in italian. (Fuck, i can do this all day. you take me so perfectly.) You can feel yourself ready to come again so you warn him, he also lets you know that he’s about to come too. “Come inside me” you say. Just then, you both reach your highs and come together.

After you’re done, theo lays next to you, “yknow you’re actually the prettiest girl ive seen.” he praises. You blush as he keeps speaking. “Ive wanted to do this a long time ago, but i was so scared of you.” “Me?” You chuckle. “Then why were you always rude to me?” “I thought getting on your nerves was the only way to talk to you.”

You look at him and laugh some before he gets up and runs to turn the water on. “Come, let’s get cleaned up before any of my friends decide to show up.” He speaks. “They know my room number?” you ask confused. “Of course they do.” He smiles before disappearing into the bathroom again. “Nott!!” you call his name, “i dont think i can walk.” He leaves the bathroom chuckling and heads toward you to carry you there.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[redr0sewrites]

Can I request hcs about the batboys being a top/switch/bottom please? 💕

🥀A/n: YESSSSS!!! btw i will be yapping ab the differences between sub/bottom and dom/top 💀

🥀Character(s): Dick Grayson x reader, Jason Todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader

🥀Cw: smut, dom/sub dynamics, implied switch!reader, switch!character

🥀minors dni

Dick Grayson:

i feel like Dick is a pleasure dom, he cares a lot about making you feel good and that often leads to him bottoming while still being dominant. he likes when you ride him and take what you need, but he simultaneously wants to be in control

out of the three, Dick is probably the most naturally dominant and is the one to prefer domming the most- i think he's a bit of a control freak like that, he won't outwardly show it but submitting is just something that doesn't come naturally to him

however, i do think he gets worked up a lot and needs to get his mind off of things, so that would be an opportunity for him to enter a more submissive role. that would take a bit of time, but once he trusts you, Dick will definitely be down to sub.

prefers to be a subtop, he likes rutting into you desperately and having you coo and tease him for taking you so desperately

as i've previously stated, when he's domming, Dick is a pleasure dom. your pleasure comes before his, and he's very adamant about making you feel good. while he's down to try anything that you want, he wouldn't be into physically hurting you or super hardcore bdsm, but i do think he can be a bit mean at times. he's a HUGE tease with insane stamina and will edge you for literal hours until your begging, then overstimulate you until you cry

however, when it comes to subbing? he's either a whiny brat or a genuine sweetheart.

when he's bratty, Dick will tease you and mock you for not fucking him hard enough, he wants you to be mean to him and fuck him absolutely stupid until theres not a single thought left in his brain

he's also into kinkier things, he wants you to treat him like the mindless slut he knows he can be. its kind of a corruption kink, in the sense that everyone always views him as the perfect golden child. you're the only one who gets to see how needy and horny he actually is, and he genuinely views subbing as an opportunity for him to be as kinky and depraved as he would like without judgement. it's actually kind of sweet that he feels safe enough around you to show you that side of him

speaking of sweet, Dick is not always a brat when subbing. sometimes, everything is a bit too much, and instead of wanting to be fucked out of his mind, he just wants to be taken care of. these days, he's more clingy during sex, needing your praise and attention at all times. Dick is a lot more susceptible to slipping into subspace during these times, in which he'll cry and cling to you, desperate for just one more climax.

a lot of the time his brattiness will slowly melt into his softer, needier side, and theres an important distinction between the two. when he's acting out and being bratty, Dick craves your attention, and enjoys being degraded and mocked. however, when he's more emotionally vulnerable and soft, he can't take any degradation without crying.

after subbing, Dick is a lot clingier during aftercare as well, especially if you were being mean to him. please reassure him you didn't mean anything that you said when degrading him, he's still in a sensitive state of mind and needs that reassurance

overall, i think the sexual roles Dick falls into most are pleasure dom and sort of a pillow princess sub (yes ik thats a wlw term but idk how else to describe it im sorry 😭) and he's overall very versatile during sex

Jason Todd:

bottom 🫵🫵🫵

in all seriousness though, Jason is a very versatile switch in my opinion. he's a lot more inclined to subbing than the others, and is actually more comfortable bottoming than topping. he's a strong guy, he's fucking huge, and he's constantly afraid of accidentally hurting you. when he's bottoming, its eases some of his worries about accidentally crushing or hurting you

Jason is either a strict dom, a power bottom/dom bottom, or a genuine sub in my opinion.

some days he's a strict dom, and s but of a brat tamer. i also see him being a bit of a sadist, but only if you were 1000% into it and if you had established safewords. he's whispering filthy words in your ear and talking to you like your trash, but treating you so sweetly that your brain goes fuzzy. its just so confusing when he's fucking you so well, and every thought is engulfed by the rising pleasure in your abdomen.

Jason is any type of dom that you need, if you're tired and needy and want his attention, then he'll gladly take care of you and be all sweet and gentle. however, if you're acting out and being bratty on purpose to get a rise out of him, then he'll treat you as such.

he's a bit meaner like this, and while he's still prioritizing your pleasure, he's definitely the one in total control. however he's very insistent on using safe words and making sure your comfortable, he would never everrr want to hurt you

i think Jason would enjoy battling for dominance, especially if your a switch as well. theres something very carnal and attractive about you both struggling to stay in control, and seeing which one of you will end up on top

i also see Jason as a power bottom though, in all physical senses he's subbing but you both know he has control. this also makes him feel a bit safer about hurting you, as your the one taking what you need and controlling your position, however he still is the one calling the shots. he's sweeter like this, praising you and cooing sweet nothings as you ride him.

i do also believe he can be a sub tho. he prefers simultaneously subbing and bottoming, because while it is more vulnerable, it also gives him the opportunity to relax. when he's a sub and topping, Jason is often too fucked out to pay attention to how tight he's holding you and whether or not he's hurting you. being on the bottom assures him that he won't have to worry, and that he can just let his mind go blissfully blank. Jason is very comfortable subbing with someone he trusts, and he can be a bit of a masochist at times.

Jason is a very needy sub, he wants to be taken care of and fucked out of his mind. he's a lot more vocal when subbing, but still prioritizes your pleasure and comfort over his own.

overall, once he feels safe with you, Jason is comfortable in many different sexual positions and will honestly usually just let you take the lead and decide how you want the night to go

Bruce Wayne:

again, another switch. i feel like Bruce is the most mellow out of the three, especially as he's older, and isn't as up to date with sexual roles and things like that. he's familiar witth some of the basics, but in all honesty he's down to try whatever you would like

whether or not he doms or subs truly depends on his mood, and he has no preference about topping or bottoming

when he's pent up or irritated, Bruce prefers to dom, taking the lead and making love to you. i think he's a brat tamer more than anything else, if you act out he'll treat you as rough as you like but if you want him to, he can be soft as well.

Bruce is a very attentive dom, taking note of everything you like and dislike while observing your reactions. he only really doms when he feels like it, so he's a little bit miffed if you try to take control. Bruce is the biggest control freak out of the three of them, and wants everything to be perfect when it comes to you both sleeping together. this often leads to him overthinking and getting into his own head a little, however that can easily be remedied

when he subs, Bruce is a little shy. it may seem out of character, but admitting to weakness is not something that comes naturally to him and so he tends to clam up and wait for you to take the lead. that doesn't mean he isn't enjoying himself, he just needs some time to adjust

it took Bruce SO long to realize he was a switch like he spent most of his life internalizing his desires because people always assumed he was a top/dom. once he's dating you, he becomes increasingly interested in subbing, but you'd probably have to be the first to initiate that kind of thing

because he's never had the opportunity to sub for most of his life, Bruce starts to develop a preference for it. that doesn't mean he doesn't dom anymore though, and he's definitely still very much a switch.

with the right partner i can definitelyyyyyy see him being bratty, but most of the time he's pretty tame. Bruce is often very tired when he's subbing, and takes it as an opportunity for him to relax and let you take the reins. i think he's the type to slip into subspace VERY easily and become very talkative because of that. he's not vocal at all leading up to that, but once he slips into his own little headspace he's suddenly moaning like a pornstar and getting all clingy and needy!

all in all, i see Bruce as a switch leaning sub who is more than willing to accommodate any of your sexual preferences

this got, like, weirdly deep and analytical for what was supposed to be smutty hcs 😭😭😭 anyways!!! hope u enjoyed!!! i really cannot tell if i like this or not so plspslplssss lmk what yall think ♥️

[junipers-archive]

Power-Outage

Word Count: 1.2k

Includes: fluff, fluff, fluff spencer x reader when a power-outage occurs and spencer being spencer and being adorably the perfect boyfriend

Dark. It is dark and you're alone and its honestly embarrassing how quickly you pick up your phone to call your boyfriend. I mean...who's still scared of the dark? What're you 5?

It's two in the morning and you shouldn't be calling, really. You've only been dating for a few weeks, but he's Spencer, he's technically been your best friend for 4 years, 3 months, 2 days. and...about 18 hours, but who's counting? You convince yourself you just need to hear his voice, his sweet, safe, angelic-

"H-hello?"his voice breaks from that of someone just woken up at an ungodly hour by his co-dependent girlfriend who so happened to have accidentally hit the call button while she was second-guessing herself.

Maybe he'll hang up? Maybe you can convince him you butt-called him in the middle of the night tomorrow at work? Or maybe-

"Y/n baby I'm really gonna need you to respond before i drive over there." he sounds calm, not at all agitated, not at all like someone woken up at 2 in the morning, he sounds...like Spencer

"Hi..." You exhale into the mic with relief. You should say something, really say something, apologize, yes that's what you'll do "I'm sorry I shouldn't have called, god I'm so idiotic...I just-well the power just went out and its 2 in the morning and I really should get some sleep but-"

You're cut off by the jingling of keys on the other line.

"Spence you still there?"

"I'm on my way." Was that a car door?

"On your wayy..." It takes you second, or it takes your un-caffienated and sleep deprived brain a second to realize he means he's coming over to your house. Your home. Where you live.

And yes you're bestfriends with him and you've had sleepovers before but that was when you were ready. That was when you had cleaned.

"No! Spencer No! That is completely unessecary! I'm fine! I just wanted someone to talk to and I thought-"

The engine of his car starts. You can hear him trying to repress the laugh that graces your ears every time he knows something you're trying to hide from his genius mind.

"I'm already pulling out of the drive-way, forget about it. Plus I know you're afraid of dark."

Maybe he'll turn around if you just- "Spencer. I am not afraid of the dark. That is childish and obsurd and I mean im not a little kid anymore! You can just go home, go to bed and forget this ever happened"

There's a silence on the other end, besides the hum of the car, absolute silence.

Until, "Do you still have the candle I got your for Christmas?"

Of course. Of course Dr. Spencer freakin Reid wouldn't believe you. I mean he knows you better than anyone. What were you thinking?

"Yea spence. Yea I have the candle"

He hums in response and you can practically hear him grinning on the other end.

You admit defeat.

"Can you at least bring over some marshmallows? I'm all out from our last movie night." You would honestly rather have him over as soon as possible if it weren't for your hideous room and the pile of "i'll get to it" in the living room haunting your mind. This will at least buy you time.

But again he's dr. reid. "I've already got some from my stash, jumbo and small and snowmen shaped. And of course hot chocolate!"

He's perfect. He's everything and more you could've asked for.

And yet. ANd yet. At this very moment you'd like to strangle him. And not that impersonal type of cowardly strangle like really just-

"Don't be embarrassed baby. I've already seen your room at its worst. I'll be there in ten, turn on the candle and read your books for now."

You hear him knock on the door a few minutes later, as to not disturb the neighbors. Because of course, he's Spencer and would've thought about that too.

You run with the only flashlight you have to the front door, and you're greeted by a ruffled, grinning and ever-charming Spencer with his satchel stuffed with god knows what and wearing his periodic table of elements pjs.

You mirror his grin almost immediately, albeit sheepishly and look down to hide your own embarrassment...only to find him wearing the pink bunny slippers he'd stolen from your house only a few days ago.

With that all or any ego-preservation skills were out the window. He was here already...right?

You let him in, still staring down at your shoes as he leads you two straight for the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets to find the ingredients and kitchenware as if he'd lived there his whole life.

You take a seat at the kitchen's island stool, and watch him work.

This should be embarrassing. I mean it is. It is!

That is, until he hands you a steaming cup of hot chocolate with little snowman marshmallows dissolving on top and smiling like he hasn't just driven 8 miles with these ingredients to make you happy because you called him.

You called him at 2 in the morning.

And with that the unease floods back. And you're hiding your face in your hands and mumbling something incoherent.

This is when he finally speaks. "So...you wanna build a fort?"

You rub your eyes and look up at him. "i-i'm sorry?"

"We should build a fort." He's assertive in this, something at another time you would've found very hot, but at this moment it concerns you. Because to any other person what you've just done would be unacceptable.

"You...want to...build a fort?"

"I find it helps, I mean...at least when I was younger my mom and dad, they used to help me build forts when the power went out. To distract me if anything. It was kind of the only time I remember them getting along."He chuckles and looks down bashfully.

And now all you can think of is building a fort with the beautiful boy in front of you.

"Yea, yea i'd really love it if we built a fort."

And you do, you build a fort with what now you deem as you're future husband. Lighting the other candle he brought you on the counter that fills the air with your favorite scent and finding battery power camping lamps in your closet to light up the room.

He tells you stories about the kinds of forts he used to build and to the best of both your abilities you try to recreate his favorite.

By around 5:30 in the morning the sun is rising and you're both past out in the center of the monstrosity you two created while high on a sugar rush provided by the hot chocolate and one two many marshmallow snowmen consumed.

But you'll remember this for the rest of your life you think. You'll remember Spencer for the rest of your life. Because no one, no one would understand how to make you forget your biggest fear like he did.

While surrounded by darkness all you could see was him.

He was your light.

He was your light, and for as long as he'd have you, you'd be his too.

[01zfan]

three’s a crowd | o. sh & p. wb

husband!shotaro x stranger!wonbin x wife!reader | 6.9k words

the anon who requested wontaro threesome im sorry if you were expecting something normal the parasite in my brain made me go rogue.

contains: cuckolding, hooking up with strangers from the bar, and voyeurism

when shotaro initially told you about his fantasy you thought it was a joke. it was less than a week ago, laying on the very same bed you and wonbin sat now. too many times shotaro had avoided your question, and you thought that night would be no different. you were smiling, eyes bright with a simple smile when you asked shotaro to describe a sexual fantasy of his. your husband was red in the face when you were finally able to coax an answer out of him. he was rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding your gaze when he said the word, meek and quiet as he shrugged his shoulders.

“cuckolding?” you tried to not sound too surprised, afraid that a strong reaction would cause shotaro to become closed off. “you’re into that?” you asked.

shotaro shrugged his shoulders a second time, the red that started from his neck reached the tip of his ears. he shook his head slightly, telling you that he had no explanation. something about being able to see everything happening and you knowing had shotaro shaking his head again as he went deeper underneath the covers. seeing shotaro so shy made you feel confident enough to dig deeper, to pry more. you didn’t hide your amusement seeing shotaro’s pupils shake when you started asking about details of his fantasy.

“would you join in?”

“wouldn’t you get jealous?”

“would you even be able to handle it?”

“would it be with someone we know?”

shotaro gulped and shrugged his shoulders at each question. the timid head shakes were anything but convincing, you knew shotaro better than that. it was rare that he didn’t have a plan or a vision of something, especially if it was something he’s thought of for awhile.

regardless, you let him off easy. you went back to your phone while shotaro pretended to read his book, trying to silently gauge how you felt about his deepest darkest fantasy. shotaro let the vanilla veil of his sexual desires fall to your feet. he felt exposed even though he was underneath the blankets and he felt naked despite being fully clothed. 

in the silence, you let yourself think about the image of shotaro watching someone fuck you. you wonder if he’d get that dark tint in his eye, if he’d sit still and watch or get antsy and come over to you. you wonder if shotaro would pull down his pants and jerk off to the sight, if he’d coo at you in that same sweet voice or be mean when there was someone else around. the more you thought about it the more intrigued you were—the scandal of it all made thrill churn in your stomach. 

but who would it be? your mind ran through the list of people in shotaro’s life, if any of them were viable options. shotaro told you about sungchan’s terrible habit of getting attached, and you knew eunseok would never agree to it. your mind went to anton and sohee briefly, but sohee’s personality was too defiant and anton would be too nervous. before you knew it the potential list for your third was empty, nothing seemed to work logically. you knew your husband was more possessive than he cared to admit. inviting one of his friends could potentially cause their friendship to fall apart. 

your mind in its haste and fog thought about you and shotaro going out and finding someone. it was a simple solution, if no one in shotaro’s life could do it you two would come together to find the one. the perfect suitor found in the crowd at a bar—someone who would be you and shotaro’s little secret and treat for the night.

you shuffled on the bed, turning to your side to turn off the lamp. you felt your own sexual fantasies come to light as you looked up at shotaro with a smile on your face. he looked down at you back against the headboard, fingers on the same page of his book.

“it would have to be someone we don’t know, i think.” you said simply.

shotaro’s eyes went wide, the embarrassment he was able to get under control was returning with a vengeance.

“maybe someone at that bar downtown. we could find someone there, don’t you think?” you ask.

shotaro nods, the fact that you are humoring his sick and dirty fantasy has him gripping the corners of his book. he clears his throat, pushing up his glasses before going back to the pages.

“on thursdays the crowd is pretty lively.” he says casually before turning the page.

you hide your smile underneath the covers, pulling them up to your nose while you nod at your husband. it’s too obvious that he has the situation planned out in his head down to the minute, but he wants you to come to your own conclusion about it. even in the midst of his own sexual desires shotaro wants to make sure you plan the bulk of it and you are in charge. 

so you took the figurative reigns shotaro handed to you and planned out the night up to getting back to the house. that’s why you and shotaro were inside an irish bar past your bedtime scanning the thursday crowd. you thought about other people’s view of you and shotaro, a couple standing silently at the table with drinks in hand constantly scanning the crowd. the pub was lively for a thursday, people constantly passed into your line of sight while you canvased the area.

you were silent while shotaro pointed at men he think would be practical options. shotaro must’ve asked what about him nearly twenty times, each time you shook your head no. anyone who came into your line of sight would do something that turned you off. you needed someone who would match or compliment the dynamic of you and your husband in bed—not someone who was a sloppy drunk or who yelled obnoxiously when the team on the television scored a goal. 

when shotaro flicked his head towards a man coming out of the bathroom, you found him immediately. you don’t know how you missed him coming in, but once you say him you couldn’t look away. he navigated through the crowd of people seamlessly, nimble on his feet as he made his way to the bar. you don’t think the man with inky black locks said a single word to anybody, not an excuse me or behind you, he simply just squeezed between people where his small frame could fit. he was beautiful, with his medium length hair and eyes the size of the moon. he looked gentle—he looked like a good listener.

“him?” shotaro turned to talk to speak directly in your ear. 

you nodded and turned to shotaro, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music.

“he looks like he’d be alot of fun.” you say.

shotaro looks at the man across the bar, he looks him up and down before turning to you again. you two watch the man meander around the small space, going to the bar to order a drink before walking around and circling back to the bartender. he looks like he came with a big group of people, but he ended up splitting off just to be by himself. he casts looks at the group in a separate room where the noise was overwhelming even being halfway across the pub. when their voices boom you see the man visibly cringe before going back to face the bartender. his elbows rest on the top of the wood as he stands off to the side, waiting for his drink. you look at shotaro and your husband looks back at you. 

the smirk on your lips is sinister as you talk to shotaro directly.

“he looks lost.” you lean in closer, until your lips are almost touching the shell of shotaro’s ear. “maybe you should go help him.” you say.

shotaro nods quickly, downing the rest of his drink before shaking his hands. he gives you one last look, an excited smile on his lips as you nod to him encouragingly. he’s slow rounding the small curve of your table but he approaches the man calmly. shotaro says excuse me as he walks through the tightly packed crowd. 

the man at the bar is still unaware as shotaro approaches him. with his head in his hands and the hair cascading down his face he almost looks like a damsel in distress, waiting for someone to save him from another boring night at the bar. maybe it’s the truth, maybe it’s a lie you tell yourself to try and comprehend what’s happening right in front of you. whatever you tell yourself it works, because you nod to shotaro again when he looks back at you one final time.

shotaro taps the mans shoulder first. the man looks at him quickly, head still resting on top of his hands as he does a double take of shotaro. your glass is held securely in your hand as you watch closely, wishing you could read lips. all you can see is shotaro lean in to talk in the mans ear, and the man leans into shotaro so he can hear him clearly. you almost start shaking when the man’s eyes flicker through the crowd until he finds you. his gaze is hard, it causes you to straighten your posture and hold your glass a little tighter. his eyes stay on you while shotaro continues to talk into his ear. you wish you knew what your husband was saying, maybe you’d have an explanation as to why the man started smirking while looking at you.

when shotaro pulled away the man had the same smirk, looking your husband up and down. he still had his head resting on top of his hands, smiling at the bartender as he hands him his drink. the man takes his hands off the table to reach for his wallet but shotaro is faster, putting down cash on the bar. you recognize his motions for closing the tab, and the man at the bar’s smirk only grows. maybe you two were biting off more than you could chew. maybe shotaro was about to get his drink thrown in his face and called a pervert. millions of things that could’ve gone wrong rushed through your head before you saw the man nod. you could feel shotaro’s smile from your spot across the bar, how he shook the man’s head before leaning in one last time. shotaro left the man at the bar and stayed walking back towards you with a smile on his face.

when shotaro came back to you he immediately went to your ear, speaking quickly.

“his name is wonbin. he said yes. i told him i’ll call a cab for him out to our place and then get him a cab home.” he says.

now it’s your turn to look at wonbin. he still stands at the end of the bar, this time he moves like he knows people are watching him. he’s casual about it, the way he looks at the time and carefully sips on his drink. 

“we should go home now.” shotaro grabs your coat from the back of the chair and puts it on your shoulders. “to prepare for our guest.” he says.

you finish your drink in a few gulps, baring your teeth at how the alcohol goes down. you nod to your husband and spare one more look at wonbin, smiling and waving when you catch his eye. 

shotaro nearly speeds home, running through the house putting pictures of family face down. he’s quickly moving while you’re relaxed, trying to not let the nerves overtake you. you kick off your heels and hang your coat on the rack beside the door. while shotaro tidies up the already clean house, you count your breaths while walking to the bedroom.

“just wait in there for me, pretty.” shotaro says while clearing pieces of mail from the kitchen island. “he’ll be here soon.” he says.

you hum in acknowledgement before walking past the doorframe into the bedroom. you close the door behind you, waiting until you hear the satisfying click of it shutting. you debate on taking off your dress and laying on the bed to show your new set of lingerie shotaro bought just for this occasion. but you sit on the edge of the bed while your red dress rides up your thighs, waiting for your husband and your treat to come to you.

the longer you sit the more antsy you feel. before you know it your legs become restless, bouncing off the ground causing your dress to ride up more. the feeling of waiting is daunting, the thought of fucking a stranger causes you to feel unsteady. but you think about wonbin who looked at you from across the bar, and the chair that sits in the corner of your bedroom that wasn’t there before. shotaro’s lamp was moved to the dresser beside the chair, causing the lighting in your room to change. you could see the shadow of your body casted on the wall in front of you. you turned around—your lamp was still on behind you. 

your eyes stopped wandering around the room when you heard the front door open. through your closed door it was hard to make out what was said, only the low murmur of the two mens voices could be heard. you imagined shotaro walking through the house while wonbin followed, trying to figure out what type of people he agreed to see tonight. your mind started moving miles every minute trying to figure out how to present yourself. the sound of their footsteps got closer to the bedroom door, you found yourself leaning back on your arms before going back to sitting upright. you grabbed the wooden frame of the bed and slouched, then gripped the sheets while lifting a leg up. nothing felt natural, you just let your feet dangle over the edge when you heard a knock at the door.

“can we come in?” you heard shotaro’s gentle voice on the other side.

“yeah.” you swallowed to try and mend your dry voice. “yeah, come in.” you said sweetly.

shotaro opened the door slowly, peaking through first to smile at you. he let the door drift open slowly, and your eyes went from your husband to look at wonbin who still stood in the doorframe. you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening, this was real and it was happening right now. shotaro felt it instantly, coming to stand in front of you to rub your chin.

“just relax.” shotaro’s other hand rubbed your tense shoulders down. “he is going to take good care of you.” he assured.

you nodded your head, still looking at wonbin who stood in the doorway. he seemed to be nervous too, he didn’t come fully in until shotaro motioned to the spot in bed next to you. wonbin crossed the threshold in a few steps approaching the edge of the bed where you sat. 

you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you felt the bed dip beside you. you two waited silently, too nervous to move an inch.

“no marking.” shotaro said.

both you and wonbin looked up to shotaro. he was standing between the two of you, the light from your bedside lamp casted his shadow on the wall behind him. shotaro was no longer shy or whispering to you like he didn’t when he first mentioned his fantasy. he was upfront, blunt, and serious as he addressed you and wonbin. he looked to each of you after stating each rule, waiting for your nods of acknowledgment.

“no tongue kissing. you are going to wear a condom and no cumming inside.” shotaro added.

shotaro maintaining eye contact even when you both bashfully tried to turn away. shotaro put a gentle hand under both of your chins, squeezing your necks affectionately before pulling away. wonbin looked to you to see how he should react. when he saw you nod slowly he did too, easing further onto the bed. 

shotaro looked to both of you one last time. the big smile on his face was warm, like he was so proud of the you two. both of you turned your heads to follow shotaro as he made his way to the dark corner of the room. he was almost unseeable from his little spot until he turned on the lamp beside him. the artificial light only made the top half of shotaro visible, anything below his torso was left to your imagination. your mind filled in the gaps, you imagine shotaro sinking into the chair as he rested his arm on the sides of the chair. 

“if it’s too much or you want to stop, just say the word and it’ll be done.” shotaro said from his seat.

after that, shotaro said nothing else. it was completely silent in the room as both you and wonbin fidgeted on top of the bed. your restless leg started bouncing again and you saw wonbin pick at his nail beds. you were in over your head you thought. neither you or the man sitting next to you made a move, just sitting on the bed letting the awkward atmosphere settle over you both.

“wonbin, why don’t you help with her dress.” shotaro looked amused as he watched you both squirm from the tension. he did an unzipping motion calmly when wonbin looked to him. “there’s a zipper in the back, right baby?” shotaro asked.

you nodded, turning your body until your back was facing wonbin and your front was pointed towards shotaro. he was looking at you intensely, leaning back into his chair satisfied when he saw wonbin’s timid hands move towards your zipper. 

he was slow, the sound of the metal dragging down filled the space between you both. you were still nervous, your nails digging into the flesh of your knee. you looked down as the zipper got lower, focusing on the view of shotaro’s legs. wonbin shuffled a little closer to your body, his breath fanning the newly exposed skin of your neck and back as he spoke.

“is this okay?” wonbin asked. 

you looked up to shotaro almost expecting him to answer for you. he only looked at you expectantly, waiting for you.

“yes. it’s okay.” you said.

wonbin helped you push your dress off your shoulders, you went the rest of the way to take it off your top half. your new lacy bra was exposed, and you pulled the dress down further until it was bunched at your hips. wonbin ran his fingers over the strap, carefully slipping his fingers underneath to press into your skin. you shivered from wonbin’s touch, not used to feeling anyone’s hands that weren’t shotaro’s. wonbin’s hand were bigger than shotaro’s a little rougher even though he only gave you touches light as a feather.  wonbin worked his way up your shoulders then down your arms, squeezing you occasionally. the ministrations did calm you down, you felt more relaxed by the time wonbin’s hands clasped over yours.

“wonbinnie wants you to look at him.” shotaro said sweetly.

you slowly turned in your place to look at wonbin, facing him fully. his eyes drifted down to your chest immediately, the hands that were over yours traced up the sides of your body. he looked to you for approval, and when you nodded wonbin moved his hands to cup your chest. he kneaded your skin over the fabric of your bra, pressing carefully as you let out tiny sighs of approval. wonbin’s look of wonder transformed into a confident stare, he leaned in close and pressed a kiss over your collarbone.

“whose idea was it?” wonbin asked when he pulled away from your chest. 

one of your hands went to wonbin’s shoulder when he leaned down to press another kiss. it was wet, the air cooled your skin when he pulled away. the sound of shotaro moving in his chair behind you reminded you of the question he asked.

“his.” you breathed.

“who picked me?” wonbin asked. he blew cold air on another sloppy kiss.

“me.” you answered.

you felt wonbin’s smile against your skin. with your turned body obstructing shotaro’s view of wonbin he took his chances, slightly sinking his teeth into the skin of your chest. you gasped and fisted the fabric of wonbin’s shirt in your hands. 

“no marking.” shotaro said sternly from his seat.

the orders made you straighten your arched back, feeling like you were the one that got in trouble. wonbin on the other hand showed no remorse, only muttering a quick sorry over your shoulder.

his hands wrapped around to your back to undo the clasp of your bra. you were still as wonbin splayed his hands across your back, bringing you closer to him. you planted your foot on the ground to push yourself into him, hands on the cups of your bra preparing to grab it.

“she likes when you ask nicely for things.” shotaro said sweetly.

when wonbin unclasped your bra you pressed your chest into his, trying to work yourself up to fully taking it off. you thought about the man behind you, how he’s the only one who has seen you naked in god knows how long. you were too bashful to look behind you to see what shotaro was doing now, you only focused on wonbin in front of you. his hands went to your shoulder and squeezed you gently before whispering into your hair.

“can i see?” he pushed your shoulders back gently until your back rested on the bed. “please?” he asked.

you obliged, taking your loose bra from your chest. wonbin helped, pulling your straps off your outstretched arms and throwing it over the bed towards shotaro. 

he wasted no time squeezing and teasing your chest, reveling in the way you spilled out between his fingers. wonbin was the same as shotaro, blowing cold air on your nipples to see them harden, and he rolled them between his fingers to hear your little mewls. your eyes were closed from the sensation when you started pulling at the fabric of his shirt.

“take your shirt off.” you said breathlessly.

wonbin pulled away from your body to pull his shirt over his head. he threw his shirt towards shotaro too before looking at your husband. you did the same, looking at shotaro in his chair. he wasn’t as relaxed as he was before, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. you almost thought shotaro was a few seconds from calling it off then and there, the pensive look on his face hidden behind his hands. even with wonbin hovering back over your body, you only looked to shotaro. 

his gaze went from wonbin to you, and shotaro went back to leaning against the chair. his hands fell away to reveal his part lips, and his legs that spread further revealed the tent in his dress pants. as your own lips parted wonbin got closer to you, and his lips began pressing sloppy kisses to the crook of your neck. everything was already too much, the view of shotaro beside you and the feeling of wonbin above you. your hands went to wonbin’s back to press flat hands against his shoulder blades. wonbin had to prop himself up on his arm, leaning to the side to see your whole face. you were already becoming flushed, breathing labored from absolutely nothing happening. wonbin was amused, a smirk across his face as he looked to you and then shotaro.

“you guys are sick.” wonbin laughed to himself and you impulsively arched your back at his words. he laughed again, his hand was confident as he traced your jawline. his touch was still light he travelled down, squeezing at your neck gently the same way shotaro did earlier. wonbin smiled at the breath that caught in your throat before he lifted his body away from you completely.

when wonbin stood in front of you off of the bed you propped yourself up on your elbows. your chest heaved, and you nervously flexed your hands to try and feel some control. he watched, hands still traveling down your body. wonbin looked to shotaro in his chair as he pressed his hands deep into your stomach. it pulled a groan from you, something light and airy as you tried maintaining some dignity. wonbin looked back to you when his hands settled on your hips, flashing you a quick smile before he pulled you quickly to the edge of the bed.

the pull caught you off guard, temporarily turning you into wonbin’s ragdoll. before you could comprehend his strength you felt his fingers press into your clothed clit. instantly your knees closed in on eachother, causing wonbin to put a hand on a knee to pry them apart. 

he continued pressing deeper into your slit, not letting up until you squirmed and repeatedly tapped the mattress. wonbin looked to shotaro sitting in his chair then back to you.

“she likes being fingered but she likes being fucked from behind the most.” wonbin looked to you with wide eyes as shotaro continued. “isn’t that right baby?” shotaro asked.

you nodded your head at shotaro, then turned too look up at wonbin.

“i like it alot.” you whined

wonbin nodded his head, smirking as both of his hands wrapped around the waistband of your matching panties. he pulled them up to your bent knees then back down, looking at you the whole time. you felt shy underneath his stares, your cheeks getting warm when wonbin lifted your legs to pull your panties off your ankles. as if mocking shotaro he threw that towards him too, letting your clothes rest in a haphazardly made pile. 

any attempt to hide your core was futile when wonbin put his hand on your knee. he pushed it apart lightly, and you didn’t add any resistance. some sick part of you wanted the stranger in front of you to see it all, just like your husband intended. you could hear a pen drop when wonbin wrapped his large hand around your ankle. he was slow and deliberate, looking you straight in the eye while he pulled your leg upwards until your ankle rested on his shoulder. he still pushed your legs apart by a hand on your bent knee and you didn’t stop spreading until wonbin was satisfied. when he was, his fingers grazed down your knee, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

shotaro put his hand over the tent in his pants the same time wonbin put his fingers to your heat. you were warm and wet on his fingertips, the pads rubbing together to really feel you. wonbin’s dick hardened in the constraints of his pants as he thought about making a mess of you on the bed you and your husband made. when wonbin felt your hole clench around air he knew you felt it too. so wonbin wasted no time plunging two fingers into your heat and pressing a finger to your tongue when your lips parted.

“wonbin—oh my god.” you sighed after he pulled his fingers out just to push them right back in.

“so wet.” wonbin bent his fingers to emphasize the wet lewd sounds your cunt made. “you always this wet for other men?” he asked.

you shook your head bashfully, turning to shotaro when wonbin kissed the skin surrounding your ankle. he bent his body closer to yours, making your leg stretch as he came closer. he picked up the speed of  his fingers and your hand reached down to dig into his wrist. wonbin looked from your heat to your face, then back down as he added another finger. your arch off the bed put you on display for wonbin and he suddenly partially understood the man shrouded in shadows who watched. while wonbin understood something as pretty as you should be shared with others, he was far to jealous to let anyone else have you. maybe it was a character flaw—maybe self preservation. all wonbin knew was that he wanted to keep drawing those sounds out of you and feel you clench around his fingers. so he added his thumb to the mix of his digits, pressing into your clit that protruded towards him. instantly you were squirming off the bed to preen closer into wonbin’s hand, muttering pitifully about how something feels so good. wonbin needed more, so he leaned even closer to you as your straightened leg came with him.

 “what feels good?” wonbin said it lowly, breath fanning your skin. when you hesitated he pressed his finger roughly against your bundle of nerves. “c’mon tell me. tell me right in front of your husband.” he teased.

“your fingers. they’re so good.” wonbin bent his knuckles inside of you and your arch off the bed got bigger. “so so good.” you repeated.

at your answer, wonbin gave you a reward. he increased his pace, and you spread your legs so far you heard a bone pop. shotaro laughed from his corner, like he did everytime your creaky bones talked during sex.

“that means she’s close.” shotaro joked.

“oh yeah?” wonbin replied.

although shotaro’s tone was light, he was not wrong. you needed more and you were so close. you started swiveling your hips, pushing them deeper to try and get more. your moans become frequent, high pitched pants as wonbin continues to piston his fingers inside of you. your hand clenches the sheets, something to ground yourself as your feet flex.

just when before you feel it wash over you, wonbin pulls away. even shotaro straightens in his seat, as if he was the one being denied. instantly you pout, the pants turn into whines as wonbin takes his fingers out of your spasming heat.

“put them back in. please.” you beg.

any shame you had dissipated a long time ago. the worried shy girl is gone as you beg for the stranger in front of you to keep fucking you while your husband watches. the only reprieve you get is when wonbin uses the hands that were on you to go to his pants. 

“grab binnie a condom honey.” shotaro guides you sweetly as wonbin hastily works at his button and zipper.

instantly you move further onto the bed, turning on your stomach to crawl to shotaro’s bedside table. both of you are rushed—you open the drawer quickly to pull out a foil packet and wonbin almost stumbles as he pulls his legs from his pants. 

before you can even turn around to hand the packet to wonbin he clambers on the bed behind you hands pressing to your ass and you lower your upper half to the bed on instinct.

it’s another bout of silence as wonbin examines you from this view. he grabs handfuls of your flesh, moving your ass as you become malleable in his grasp. he lightly smacks your ass just to see the recoil, wishing he could slap harder to leave a mark. 

“can i fuck you from back here?” wonbin asks, half focused on how soft you are.

“yes.” you say immediately.

“wanna look at your husband while i do it?” he asks.

too embarrassed to say yes, you start moving you body until you face shotaro. wonbin stays slotted behind you as he puts on the condom, letting his dick slap against your ass when he’s done. he fixes your position, moving your body to the side slightly as he straddles one of your legs. 

he taps your ass slightly and when you look behind you the view of wonbin letting a glob of spit fall to his dick. you can hear the wet sound of him jerking off, and then you feel his dick slap your ass again. you let your ass wiggle in the air as wonbin gets closer to you. his hands part your ass and you feel spit land on the swell, you shiver from the feeling.

“you’re messy.” shotaro chides.

wonbin lines himself up at your entrance and you can feel the prod as the ball of yarn starts tangling again.

“you have no idea.” wonbin says.

you lean back further, and suck in a breath. the anticipation makes you dizzy, almost spotting your vision as you look at shotaro in his chair. neither of you break eye contact as wonbin slowly slides in, and when you open your mouth in ecstasy shotaro mirrors you. you try to keep the eye contact, but you fail when wonbin pulls all the way out to thrust harshly back in. your head falls to the mattress as you let out a muffled yell.

“not too much, right?”

you lift your head from the mattress to follow the voice talking to you. it lead you to shotaro as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. he leaned back in his chair legs spread with his head balancing on his fist. you only caught a glimpse of his other hand, how it palmed himself over his dress pants. before you could moan a response, you were interrupted.

“feels good.” the voice behind you huffed.

you can barely see anything else in the room except for shotaro. you stopped being able to see wonbin a long time ago, but you can feel him everywhere. the dip from his weight pressing into the bed. his leg straddling one of yours as he drove his hips forward. his two hands spreading your ass so he could go deeper. his breath fanning your arched sweaty back. you felt wonbin all around you as he thrusted into you again, knocking the words right out of your mind. you can only moan into the sheets you have a white knuckle grip on. wonbin grips your ass with the same force, his nails dig into the plush of your ass as he defies shotaro’s rules again. 

“no marking.” shotaro says from his seat.

wonbin huffs, you swear you can imagine him roll his eyes at the order. regardless, you feel the grip on your ass loosen as wonbin comes close to you until his chest presses into your back.

“your husband is bossy.” wonbin whispered in your ear.

“i can hear you.” shotaro says.

he’s still upbeat as he talks, the two men are playful as you feel like you’re coming to your wits end. the new angle wonbin takes causes him to rut into you quickly instead of the deep slow thrusts. your moans become high-pitched and frequent as he picks up the speed. you turn your head so your moans are no longer muffled by the sheets, you let them ring out as you helplessly look to shotaro. one of wonbin’s hands goes to your hair, slightly pulling at your scalp until your head is lifted off the mattress.

“can you hear her?” wonbin remarks.

“mhm.” shotaro is unaffected by wonbin’s teasing and you can see his hand press deeper into his lap. “you sound so pretty baby.” he compliments.

you can’t speak before wonbin draws his hips back all the way before driving back in. the thrust makes you go back to being face down in the sheets, and some of your upper arms slide over the edge of the bed. wonbin doesn’t stop, he does the same thing again as he plants his hand on the bed next to your head. wonbin slides perfectly inside of you, each time he bottoms out you nearly cry out. your hands dangling over the edge of the bed and you reach towards shotaro sitting down.

“taro.” you whine weakly.

he sits up in his chair, and you see the metal of his belt reflect the light as he opens up his pants. shotaro is still slow as he puts his hand underneath his layer of clothes, completely opposite from wonbin’s quick thrusts that leave your body trembling.

even if you whine for shotaro, wonbin is unaffected. maybe he doesn’t notice. he’s drowning in the feeling of you, his snide remarks turned into moans as he continued thrusting into you. he pulls away from your back to plant one of his feet on the mattress. one of his hands wraps around your waist, pulling you up with him. with his hand across your chest gripping your shoulder, wonbin forces your entire front to be exposed to shotaro. shotaro’s eyes travel up and down your body, settling on your face as his hand in his pants picks up the speed. he looks over your shoulder, staring at wonbin who placing wet kisses to your shoulder. if he can’t leave a mark he will at the very least be messy.

“you like that?” wonbin asks.

he talks to you but when you turn your head to kiss him, you see wonbin focused on shotaro. he continues staring at shotaro as you bring him in for a sloppy kiss, both of your minds on other things than kissing. wonbin looks to you only after he pulls away, keeping your head in place with a hand while he begins rutting his hips against yours. you look into wonbin’s blown out eyes, his black hair that sticks to his forehead. you kiss the bottom of his nose on instinct, just like you do with shotaro. you move your eyes to try and take a peak at your husband, following the distinct sound of his belt buckle clanking in the air. when your eyes flicker to shotaro wonbin clicks his tongue, bringing your focus back to him.

“look at me.” wonbin says it low, almost a grunt as his hips kiss your ass again. “let him watch.”

you can only nod your head, swallowing deeply as you continue looking into wonbin’s eyes. they’re dark and all consuming, you swear drool slinks past your lips as you continue staring into them.

“she’s close, wonbin.” shotaro’s tone becomes bothered as he continues jerking himself in his pants. 

in his fantasy he always watched, never giving in and never speaking a word. but he couldn’t stop himself when he became uncomfortably hard in his slacks, seeing you experience pleasure at the hands of someone else. he watched you become pliable for another man, going into positions without a second thought. he thought the palm of his hand would be enough, but as he continued watching it wasn’t enough. the only relief came from sticking his hand in his underwear, his precum already seeping through the thin material. shotaro’s tight hand on his tip forced him to bite his lip to hold back his moans.

“you close, baby?” wonbin looked down at your lips, smiling as you quickly nodded your head.

“so close.” you answered.

“go on.” wonbin kissed the wet apple of your cheek before looking at shotaro. “give your husband a show.”

wonbin lets your body fall back down to the mattress and wonbin wasted no time slotting himself between your legs. he instantly picked a brusingly fast pace, and when you reached back your hand wonbin grabbed it, pinning both of your hands to the small of your back. you looked up to shotaro, still watching you with such fascination. shotaro’s nod and the slow hand in his pants was the final pull on the ball of tension in your stomach that caused you to unravel.

you clenched around wonbin the same time shotaro withdrew his hands from his pants to dig his nails into the armrest of his chair. he watched you whine pitiful, and saw wonbin slow down as he emptied into his condom. shotaro didn’t cum but that wasn’t what he needed. the edging was torturous, depriving himself of finishing while you completely indulged in it brought shotaro something far greater than an orgasm. so he watched intently as your legs started sliding out from underneath you as wonbin tilted his head back to gain his bearings. the hand you had pointed towards shotaro even went limp as you let your head rest against the mattress. shotaro’s heavy pants matched yours, and wonbin fell back on his ass as he caught his breath too. shotaro saw it all, and before you two could come back to your senses he stood up. 

your head turned weakly towards shotaro as he came closer to you on the bed. he squatted down next to you, placing a kiss on your forehead before traveling down to your lips. shotaro brought you in for a passionate kiss, fingers underneath your chin as he tilted your head to the perfect angle. instantly his tongue slipped past your lips, as if he was trying to prove he tasted better than wonbin. you let out a heavy sigh when shotaro pulled away, a single thin string of spit connecting your lips. shotaro led your head gently back down to the mattress and you turned over. wonbin was still on his ass, legs spread as he watched you two. shotaro smirked, getting up from his crouching position to hand wonbin his shirt. wonbin took it with the same smirk, putting the white tee over his head slowly. 

“wasn’t that fun?”

[seikkoi]

ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ | t. stark & s. strange x f!reader

Step one: Work at one of the most successful research laboratories in the country. Step two: Don't fuck it up. Step two and a half: Do not fuck it up.

content/warnings: mildly dubious consent (sooo uncharacteristic of me), degradation, power dynamics, voyeurism, shy reader, org*sm denial, v*ginal fingering word count: 2.6k a/n: im having a small fixation on our favorite witchy doctor dont worry abt it

Shitshitshit!

You chastised yourself mentally over and over again, watching the bright blue numbers tick downwards. It might make sense to get up, scramble across the lab, fling your hand around the incubator and pull the plug. That’s what an amateur would do, but you’re an expert and know that will do fuck all for you now. Then again, an expert would have set the goddamned temperature correctly. 

You’d fallen asleep at your desk–a natural consequence of several late nights collecting data (or drowning in term papers and reports). In your half-awake state, right before your head hits the table, you set the temperature twenty degrees lower than it should be. Dreamland gave no clues to the impending doom awaiting you. Instead, you dreamt of a tropical paradise. Your sunny fantasia was inevitably interrupted by the persistent beep that echoed the labs walls.

The digits keep trickling down, and you rest your head in your heads. All you can do is wait for it to hit zero. Thousands of synthetic cultures–gone. That was two months of work down the drain, and your bosses expected a very long report, printed and neatly stapled by the end of this week. 

You were so fucking fired.

The numbers finally stop, the computer beeping tauntingly as if you needed verbal confirmation on how screwed you were. You could not even begin to imagine how you would explain this. You worked at one of the best laboratories in the world, there wasn’t room for rookies errors here. Especially not when they come from supposed wannabe professionals like you (and cost millions of dollars). Your first week some larger-than-life MIT grad used the wrong inventory system and was gone by noon. You weren’t any better, just some Ph.D candidate trying to boost her resume. 

The computer stops, and in its absence you pick up on the slight tick of the clock on the desk. The red analog reads 9:57 PM. Late, but not too late for your bosses to still be around. You’re nauseous with guilt, but you can’t imagine carrying it through the night, working with nothing through the rest of week just to get canned on Friday.

No, you’d accept your fate now.

If you were lucky, you’d only have to talk to one of them. 

You don’t have a preference for either. Stark had no issue showing dissatisfaction through his words, often sternly and without grace. The good part was that he was the same way with praise, although you rarely managed to earn that. Strange on the other hand was, well, strange. You barely interacted with him, but when you did you always left the conversation not sure if he despised you or merely tolerated your presence. It changed your working attitude from focusing on the science to scrambling for perfection to gain even the faintest ounce of approval. 

Obviously, not well enough if you were making Alaska-sized mistakes like this. Both were equally arrogant (unfortunately, well deserved) and you knew neither of them well enough to plead for your job. 

You make your way down the dim hallway, passing the empty offices and labs. More than one mental pep talk passes through your mind. The end of the hallway held your demise, a cracked open door holding an illuminating light and a pair of voices. 

All you could do was hope they weren’t too harsh.

Beyond the wooden door, you listen to two voices argue indiscriminately. 

“I suppose you think we should just give it away.” one says exasperatedly, and you figure this is Stark by the sarcasm laced in each syllable.

“No,” the other sighs, “but our shareholders will never agree to this price point.”

“The shareholders will agree to whatever we tell them to.”

“You’re right, to a point. Still, we need to be realistic in our expectation of returns.”

“We haven’t done all this work for realism. We did it for profit and you want to sell our hard work to the lowest bidder.”

You tapped your knuckles against the oak door, heart beating in your chest. You went through a couple of opening lines–promises about how this would never happen again and pleas for understanding. Logically, you knew neither were likely to be granted. The voices on the other side grant you entrance that you take nervously. Inside, Stark sits at the large desk in the middle of the room. Strange stands beside him, peering over papers that you presume sparked their conversation. 

At the sight of you, both men seem to soften their hardened expressions. Whatever nonsense flared their words a moment ago is gone, replaced by confusion by their junior researcher at their door this late. Strange glances at the timepiece on his wrist before you can say anything, scoffing and shaking his head. 

“Yes, [y/n]?”

The annoyance drips, clearly not amused by your poorly timed visit. You wring your fingers in front of your body. 

“Firstly, sirs, I want to apologize, there was a mistake with the incubator, and the cultures were destroyed.” 

You wish you sounded more confident, but instead your eyes dart between the men and the floor. Your omission tumbles out in a whiny tone, waiting on every syllable for their faces to turn and tell you how stupid you were and how much you cost them in time and resources. That’s not how it goes, however. 

Stark leans back in the leather desk chair, metal creaking as his arms are crossed in front of his body. He makes an annoyed face, sure, but not the angry scowl you were dreading. 

Strange’s reaction is even more peculiar, chuckling slightly and glancing back at Tony.

“Did the incubator make a mistake, or did you?” he says lightheartedly, a grin stretching on his face, yet the words create a swell in your throat. 

Tony seems to find it amusing as well, watching Strange stalk towards you. He stops in the middle of the office. You’re less than two yards away, trying not to tremble under his gaze. 

“I did, sir, I’m sorry. I’ll gather my things and leave.” you whispered, hanging your head in shame. 

Your feet are on autopilot, turning for the door until Strange speaks again.

“Oh, there’s no need for that.” he chuckles. “Right, Tony?”

You turn back to see him looking towards Stark, who hums in approval. Even more confused, you watch as Strange beckons you closer, and you obey on instinct. 

“I don’t think it’s a good look for a Ph.d candidate to have a termination from such a large company on her record.” Tony coos from his chair.

“No, not at all. That might just tarnish her future.” Strange adds.

Their eyes rake over you. Stephen beckons you forward again, and you comply once more. Clearly, they were mocking you before giving you the boot. The condescending drip in their voices leaves your skin hot with embarrassment.

“We wouldn’t want that for you, sweetheart.” Tony sits up as Strange guides you towards the desk, a large hand resting on your back. 

“I-I don’t understand.” you stammer. 

They both share another laugh at your confusion. Stephen stands behind you once you reach the desk. He nudges you forward until your hips are flush against the edge. There’s still separation, but not enough that you can’t sense his body right behind yours.

“I’m sure a smart girl like you knows how valuable you are to us,” Tony locks eyes with you as Strange twirls your hair in his fingers. The touch shocks you to turn back to him, only for Strange to push you back to face Tony. 

“Everyone makes mistakes, after all.”

Your eyes widen when Stephen presses his body into yours, easily towering over you. Heavy hands trail down your jean-covered hips, hot enough to burn your skin through the denim.

“We’re very understanding, I’m sure we can work something out.” Stephen’s voice purrs in your ear, warm breath tickling your throat.

The glittering look in Stark’s eye is all too familiar, watching Stephen’s hands get acquainted with every inch of your form. You shudder under his touch. The blood in your veins runs cold as you catch a wink between the two men–and suddenly, you understand.

“Wouldn’t want your career to end before it even starts now would we?” Tony taunts. 

Fingers tease along your side. Soon, they work their way under your shirt, grazing the skin of your midriff. 

Any lingering uncertainty is snuffed when Stephen presses further into you. The desk digs into your hips, trapping you between it and the tall doctor. 

“I can’t–we can’t–this isn’t–”

Each attempt at a full sentence fails under Tony's lustful gaze. It’s quite enjoyable watching you fail against Stephen. Recruitment always seemed to be just the prettiest research assistants. Who could blame them for finally getting an opportunity for a taste? 

Not to mention you did just cost them a small fortune with your little mistake. Contrary to your beliefs, though, they liked your work ethic (and you, for that matter). Letting go of such a helpful piece of eye candy simply wouldn’t do. That doesn’t mean that kindness is a guarantee. 

“No?” Tony hums. “Well, we could always let you go. We can give a shining recommendation, of course having to mention your little incompetencies.” 

Being blacklisted would kill you. All you wanted was to work in this field. Years of late nights and term papers down the drain was a far greater loss than a few synthetic cultures. 

“Please, you don’t have to do that.” you plead. Behind you, Strange’s beard scratches your throat. His hands travel further north, dancing on the hem of your bra. Goosebumps spread across your skin.

“Like I said, I’m sure we can all come to some sort of compromise.” Stephen’s voice drops low and heavy, enveloping on your covered breasts in his right hand. He squeezes gently, tweaking your nipple through the padded fabric.

“W-what if someone finds out–please, just–”

“Oh, don’t you worry, honey. We know how to be discreet.” Tony smirks.

Your eyes can never seem to leave Tony’s, watching his smile grow as your arousal does. It’s against your doing. Stephen completely surrounds you, touching any part of you he could reach. You gasp when the doctor’s idle hand finds your other nipple, rocking himself into you as you squirm. 

“I think she wants to keep her job, don’t you, honey?” Stephen chimes in.

You nod nervously. If this would save your career, so be it. People have slept with their bosses for less, right? And you certainly weren’t blind, both men were attractive in their own rights, able to pander through a catalog of women much smarter and much more their style. It begs the question why they were doing this all–crossing such a boundary with a goddamned graduate student. 

“Oh no, honey, we’ll need to hear you say it.” 

You barely blink, nor breath, all brain power zeroing in on Strange’s heat pressed into you. Tony raises an impatient eyebrow and you manage to answer out of the need to appease him and keep your job. 

“Yes, I’ll do whatever you want.”

The second the words leave you, Stephen’s hand disappears from your shirt to push you over the desk. You would’ve face planted straight into it had his palms not wrapped tightly around each of your wrists, yanking your arms. You try to sit up, uncomfortably pressed between Stephen Itchy wool suit pants and the wooden desk. Tony gleams down at you as the doctor keeps a firm hand splayed across your back, his right hand reaching around for the zipper of your jeans. 

In the next moment, you feel cool air bend around your bare legs. Before you can have anything even remotely resembling second thoughts, your lace panties are quickly pulled to your ankles as well. Warmth flushes across your cheeks, feeling Stephen’s hungry eyes and fingers on your exposed cunt–all while Tony’s eyes stay locked onto you, smile growing wider as your shame does. 

That became harder the second rough hands grab the supple flesh of your ass before a teasing finger slid across wet folds. You squirmed against Stephen’s hold on your wrists, trying desperately to look anywhere but at your boss as you bit back a soft gasp.

“I think our pretty little assistant is feeling a bit shy, Stephen.” Tony declares, reaching out to caress the side of your face not pressed into the surface. It sends butterflies up your spine at how gently he draws tight circles on the skin of your cheek, humming in satisfaction from how roughly Stephen roams over your body.

“Tsk, I hardly believe that, as wet as she is right now.” he murmurs, distracted by the mess you wish you weren’t making. 

You kept your lips pierced tightly between your teeth, lids squeezing shut when a long digit pushes into your aching walls. A deep groan from Strange echoes behind you. You hardly had time to eat, let alone maintain a social life. This meant it had been almost months since you’d slept with anyone–leaving needy and aching from the simplest touch. Even if it was your boss. 

You instinctively try to pull forward when a second finger is roughly added, and this time you can’t stop the whimper as you stretch around him.

“There it is–feels good doesn’t it? Don’t be shy, honey.” Tony’s voice sounds like smolding ice, freezing your nerves and setting your skin on fire. 

You almost hate yourself for how good this feels, Stephen pistoning in and out of your cunt until the sounds of your arousal against his fingers flood the office walls. All while Tony strokes your face like you're made of fine china. It’s far more than your body can handle, stomach already tightening with each pulse of the doctor’s fingers. 

“Go ahead, hon’, tell us how much you like it.”

Your face warms. From his touch or embarrassment, you’re not sure. You stammer under the heat, trying to look anywhere but Tony’s piercing eyes. 

Stephen’s hand comes down strong on your exposed ass, earning a loud cry from you as you strain against his hold. It shouldn’t make your head spin as much as it does.

“That wasn’t a request, answer him.” the doctor commands, gripping your wrists even tighter. When you take a second too long to muster a response, another strike falls on your opposite cheek. Your nerves are nearly disintegrated, still relishing good his finger feel stretching your cunt.

“It–it’s good, it feels–” you cry out once more when he spanks you again, taunting you for being too quiet. 

“It feels really good, sir.” you say louder, nearly shouting into the wood as your legs shake. 

Tony laughs above you, only worsening your shame. It’s an easily forgotten feeling–Stephen’s fingers curl inside you, testing each angle until he finds the one that makes you squirm. Soon enough, you forget where you are entirely, barely able to tell where your skin and theirs begin. Your high is far too close to care about the way Tony watches you, or how bruised your wrists will be after Stephen’s done with you. 

Just as your mind starts to split into two, it’s quickly interrupted. Stephen withdraws from your soaking cunt, leaning over you to press you impossibly further into the desk, unbuckling the leather belt at his waist. You jerk your head up at the ache between your legs, meeting Tony’s devilish smirk. Warm lips grace your ear, chuckling at your needy panting. 

“Aw, poor thing. Don’t think we’d let you off that easy–you’ll need to earn it.” Stephen whispers.  

As he sinks into you, you get the feeling this mistake will take quite some time to pay back. 

[bamsara]

A03 Questions Tag Game

I got tagged by: @kagedbird I tag: @onethirdofimpossible, @coffincrows, (first two that come to mind) and anyone else who wants to do the game

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

At the time of writing this post, currently 30 fics. (Not including any fics or written works that are not posted to AO3)

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

1,066,633

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Formerly: Don't Starve, FNAF, Dragons Dogma, Invader Zim

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

Solar Lunacy, Celestial Omens, Bytes of Lunacy, The Rehabilitation of Death, Saturday Insomnia

5 – Do you respond to comments?

I try to but I also get very nervous responding because I often don't know what to say back and I feel like it's almost rude or disrespectful to respond to a comment, esp the very nice ones that are long and in-deph with just a keysmash or a bunch of emojis, but I do read every single one since I have email notifications on for them

I'd like to sit down and respond to many but I really don't want to make it awkward so pls dear god readers forgive me

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't like unhappy endings. I enjoy angsty stories but I like when it's at least ending happy to me

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not posted? Solar Lunacy

Ongoing? TROD

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? Most adults (in my experience) know the 'don't like don't read' rule and know basic online etiquette. I've gotten some for discontinuing a fic or switching fandoms though

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write or draw NSFW! I like to make some suggestive themes sometimes, but I'm a very ace person, it's not something I do often. (I do have a current running goal that if my friend reaches their donation goal for their medical bills that I would give NSFW a shot, but again its not really my cup of tea)

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nah I haven't written any cross overs, but I do draw them sometimes. Recently I've been spinning a Alice in Wonderland x COTL crossover in my head.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep. I've had people copy and paste my work, go in with a thesaurus to change a few words (like changing 'angry' to mad, 'upset' to 'sad', and so forth) to try and avoid detection and re-posted my written work under a different title name. AO3 staff took them down for violating their policy against plagiarism though

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I wouldn't mind it so as long as I'm asked before hand, though not on anon so I can actually work with the person to prevent any mistranslations or mishandling, and that I don't want my work posted to other websites

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

I think I did when I was a teen but I cannot remember now

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Eh I don't have any favorites, just ones I really focus on for a long while

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pass.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

I can sit down for hours or several days and work on a writing wip completely in the zone. I cant do it on command but its at least something I can do

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

Spelling and grammar, and sometimes long running sentences. I just kinda write, theres not really a goal for it to be perfect though so as long as the story gist and vibe is right, im fine with it

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before but only minor, had a friend help me with it (one or two lines of dialogue) Aside from that, I'm not comfortably fluent enough in anything to do it again without assistance

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Soul Eater, when I was wayyy too young to be posting anything on the internet. My fanfics I wrote are still on fanfic.net to this day

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

It's inbetween TROD and EE&E right now

[ms0milk]

✧ forget-me-nots ✧

trying to pass on some of the appreciation I receive here because it's crazy to break the 4th wall for a second and really internalize how this community is driven by creativity and mutual loving. here's a list in random order of my most dear to me loves + a few nonmutuals whose work i think of often, and the pieces that remind me most of them

when they come for you in the night (thorfinn x reader) | @gardenofnoah

the depth of dive i had to take through your blog to find this is just.. the moment i hit "when you’ve known nothing but cruelty, kindness would surely be terrifying" it was game over. thorfinn came so so to life and this was such a stunnning introduction to your style. youve written so much now and i find myself always totally stunned! but i still always think of this one first. (i give it all to you also spills out of my brain sometimes while im trying to go about the world and was a close contender + this bkg x feral creature little piece of wonderful)

you. that's what happened, you (maki x reader) | @neiptune

you already know, i would be a godless liar if said i didn't think about this weekly; the maki rizz is heretofore unmatched, this piece went above and beyond all req expectations, “hold my hand, they’ll think something’s wrong if you don’t” will be the epitaph on my tombstone. you have the power to make me love all those boys ive never even thought about, and when it was time to write for my actual wife you cracked your knuckles and made sure id never be satisfied by another! (aint that the worst thing you ever heard also reminds me of you sm, eren aot of all people)

unsubtle pro shinsou drabble | @moonbeamwritings

i can feel the heat of shinsou's crush through both our screens it is just perfection!!! what a dweeb. love to send this to myself so its easy to find and reread on the regular

To Shape a Home (bkg x reader) | @kweenkatsuki-fics

not only do the stardew vibes shine through every corner, this fic was carved out with such care it makes the relationship + bkg's growth all the more precious! "yer nothin’ to go nuts over." was an insane introduction and the two of them only got better and better and sweeter and stickier with time (ao3 tagged bc i cant find your beautiful masterlist marquie sosrrrrry)

bittersweet (vash x reader) | @heich0e

i remember exactly where i was when i read this for the first time and I remember how excited I was to find a vash fic after so long loving trigun! i didn't even know the new series had been released yet! this was agonizing, such a soft characterization for both, and the desert was so palpable-- the setting really added so much spice to an already seasoned piece

hanafuda (tanjiro x reader) | @cherryblossomsenpai

way way back in 2022 this was one of the first tanjiro pieces i ever read that really made a romantic argument for him. love his exhaustion, exasperation, fear and relief all wrapped up in one hug "The rest of his lecture is indecipherable," bc he's just crying so hard! total sweetheart, so in character

kirishima drunk girl wrangler | @mechamedusa

dusa🫱🏻‍🫲🏼kirishima ofc your kiri thoughts are unmatched and this one is so quintessential, when i think of him i think of you. he is so wrangler shaped! the perfect boyfriend, your mind is a treasure trove

wedding vows (hashira x reader) | @meowzfordayz

to my very first friend <3 you'd think the piece i associate most with you would be one of giyuus and you write so so impressively much it was hard to decide, but this hashira drabble wrung me by the neck when I first read it, and it still crushes me that your kyojuro isn't a real man i can go outside and hunt for sport. "I have an energy bar in my suit pocket — just in case." a snack for his partner at their own wedding put me down, love your mind always

sleepy rengoku drabble | @vampcubus

my femdom queen! why was it so hard for me to remember which character this was written for? reader's rizz blinded me, thank you for introducing me to dom!reader works bc now every sexy hc i have is filtered through the puppysub filter to make all those big strong boys tastefully more submissive

anything to do with anika~ | @ltadoriyuujl

love your oc, she's such a caring nuclear bomb! loved reading your wonderful chara exploration piece and being able to write for her myself! what a trust fall

the only exception (yuuji x reader) | @touyangel

yuuji is such a boyscout at the end of the world, even in total tragedy he is kind and calm and caring. thinking about "If he wasn’t teaching you how to decapitate something that used to be human, it might have been romantic." this one hurts so so good and very easily convinced me love on him. even with all the choso pieces of yours I adore, this yuuji piece reminds me most of you (this sick choso drabble is a close second!)

menthol (aki x reader) | @cyancherub

the smut hall of fame all time champion on my knees on the floor kicking my feet and smiling, love the characterization in this piece! car guy/childhood friend/overprotective/smoke sess/ so intimate and perfectly filthy. a tried and true classic, this is a blessing

fill my little world right up (aizawa x reader) | @shibaraki

the fic of all time yeah, WHAT a way to be introduced to your writing and what a privilege! this piece is just a beating heart, every action and character introduction felt like a memory, the love was so palpable. reread this one all the time, can't believe it's free, want to bind a copy for my bookshelf

cor unum (sukuna x reader) | @vampyrsm

this was the first writing i ever saw from you and in an effort of solidarity (im finishing a longform fic as well and holy fuck) i've very recently started reading and can already tell how much care you had for this world and its characters. the dedication to setting and history is so cool and rare in reader fics, can't believe you're letting us read all this for free! what a tome, seriously looking forward to it (and this bkg thought abt crowded places! mmm)

i love you more than being seventeen (nanami x reader) | @strawberrystepmom

this fucking guy oh my god, this fic almost put me in the hospital, so so glad you reposted. "hey. I love you." OOhhhHHGoowwAWAWAAAA this is such a timeless character piece-- nanami running away from this word he hates, job he hates, girl he loves, and coming back to it all knowing he'll die and knowing its worth it. i get chills

strawberry stars on my lips (bkg x reader) | @willowser

breaking the rules of speed dating is insanely romantic, probably the most romantic thing someone has ever thought of and this is the piece i think of when i think of your blog. bkg is simultaneously so constipated and so vulnerable i almost feel like i have to cover my eyes for him and it is sugary sweet in the best way. happy hiatus!

[fuxuannie]

↳ pairing : miles morales x g-neutral reader

↳ synopsis : (first part of) sfw alphabet with miles !!

↳ authors note : could contain astv spoilers ?? i think i'll do another alphabet w a spiderverse character soon when i finish this!! ive been working on a hobie fic but his british is killing me PLZ save me im SOBBING its being delayed just cause hes british thats crazy

— ❥ Affection - is he the affectionate type?

☆☆ I think Miles is really affectionate with his partner, holding hands and all of that. Tries to be a romantic (and fails sometimes cause hes far too silly for that) but he's doing his best!! Affection is definitely very important to him so :)

— ❥ BEGINNER - is he new 2 relationships?

☆☆ Definitely, you'd be his first love and so he tries his best with you. He'll make sure to take you out on good dates, meet your parents, make like thousands drawings of you in his sketchbook and just generally try to hide the nerves of being in a relationship. Of course, Miles isn't perfect, but you understand that and just accept him nevertheless.

— ❥ CUDDLING - does he like 2 cuddle ?? how does he like 2 cuddle :)) ??

☆☆ Cuddling is a need, it is a requirement. He will demand cuddling at least once every day just so he feels something in his cold and empty soul. (he's being sarcastic, please cuddle him hes so sad when you don't)

— ❥ Domestic - does he wanna settle some day ?? how good is he at household chores ??

☆☆ Miles is a teenager, that kind of thing has yet to cross his mind or atleast think of it super seriously. But he would love to move in with you at some point, make you breakfast in bed and stuff like that. He definitely used to help his mom when he was younger, just gives off the vibe :))

— ❥ Ending - how n why would he end things with you ??

☆☆ The only thing that would push Miles that far is for your own safety. When he dates someone, he doesn't wanna do it just because you two like each other, he dates to stay together and not for a fleeting feeling that'll come to pass. But it hurts him more to leave someone he still loves, but knows its for your safety <\3

— ❥ Fiance(e) - marriage? commitment?

☆☆ I mean, same reason with the letter D, he's a teenager so that thing doesn't really cross his mind. He does like to joke around that he'll propose to you with a bagel or something.. (uh oh)

— ❥ Gentle - is he gentle physically and emotionally ??

☆☆ He tries his best to be. He understands how a lot of things can be overwhelming and hard to understand, so whether you need his emotional or physical help he's always willing to give it. He'll give you words of affirmation or hold you till you feel better. :)

— ❥ Hugs - does he like em ?? does he hate em??

☆☆ Miles LOVES it when you hug him, especially when you initiate it first. He'll sometimes pick you up and do a little spin because it makes him that happy T_T♡ Please hug him, he needs it badly after everything

— ❥ I love you - how long did it take for him to say it ?? does he say it often ??

☆☆ Miles took his time when it came to finally saying 'I love you'. He wanted to make sure that he'd mean it, and will continue to mean it while you guys are together. When it comes to saying I love you, he wants it to be in appropriate times and places but he usually says it when hes sleepy and just has no filter at all.

— ❥ Jealousy - does he get jealous often ??

☆☆ Yes and Miles makes it very obvious. You find it amusing every time he'll pull you by your waist towards him so he can hold you by his side. He'll urge you to continue your conversation, but the person you're speaking to can tell he is one minor inconvenience away to picking you up and just running off. (he'll only ever act like this if the person has clear intentions that were NOT approved of by him)

— ❥ Kissing - does he like kissing ?? how does he like 2 kiss ??

☆☆ He does the upside down kiss at like any given moment while he's on patrol. HE LOVES DOING IT he thinks its the most silly thing ever and the way the first time he tried it, his web snapped and he fell before he could kiss is ENGRAVED in your memory. Of course, he'll enjoy smaller kisses like on the nose or on his forehead cause it makes him feel soso soft.

— ❥ Little Ones - is he good with kidz ?!

☆☆ HES AWFUL. have you seen the scene with him and Mayday?! He has never held a child a day in his life, he will call an infant baby 'bro' or something and try to take it skateboarding. He will try if you have younger siblings, it's like training to get into the family; if you can handle the little menaces you are welcomed <3.

[chipchopclipclop]

i just started rewatching soul eater for the first time since i was 15 and Stein is so much more interesting to me than he was then... what are ur soul eater thoughts chip if youre willing to share

i did not experience soul eater as a wee youth, the first time i watched (and then read it) was 4 years ago (give or take) so i do not have the beautifully tinged nostalgia for the series others might. i say this only bc it colours my thoughts of the series pretty well lmao.

the anime is alot better than the manga just by virture of bones' animation being incredible but also its like 40% less painfully fucking horny (though still is its shounen) and the way some of that plot goes in the second half is so fucking bad in the manga (though not all, but god). It's not like the anime gets rid of everything like that stupid ass argument black star has with maka still makes me want to murder him but ultimately i like the anime and its writing more. i think my minds canon is just a meld of parts i like from both lol.

ohkubo is also just on my top ten list of mangaka i need to actually kill like hes a solid #3 on the needs to die list. his designs and art improvement were fun to watch and i do love halloween world and his toony stuff, undeniably bangs, but you can really tell by the end where his transformation into horny moe artist came from. sometimes i see people shocked by this and soul eater not's existence and i have to think did we read the same fucking manga...??

sorry i needed to get my bitching out before talking about stein. i love stein. so many things wrong with him. he is 70% of the reason i got around to watching it and 95% of the reason i kept reading it. i think how expressive he is is alot of his charm, like he does alot of moe body language you might not expect of his type of chara.

hes #crazy and #madscientist and #edgy and #insaneasylum but also very silly and whimsical... kind of emblematic of the world of soul eater at large actually, this is also alot of the other characters appeal in this universe too (DEATH THE KID).

he's obsessive, hes empathetic, hes also sadistic, hes got a screw in his head, megane, fun with kids, perfect man. hes also got both an equal capacity for getting worse and better in him which can be fun to think about in either direction, and you've got characters that do influence him either way for that in the series. im also kind of remembering clicking the screw in his head is to help somewhat deal with his mental state actually, king of the disability aid...(?)

you can treat his character very seriously or lightheartedly, i think the writing in both versions maintains that balance well. It also makes everyone else who actually sticks around him somewhat deranged too (the fact he did surgery on spirit at school but spirit still interacts like pretty normally at work with him after meeting again. lmfao. THEY WENT DRINKING TOO) the fact he still calls spirit senpai also is so funny. its like 40% a dig at him but also 60% genuine. i hate gay people btw.

i like the thought that he was more stoic when he was younger but as he got older stopped trying to hide his eccentricities as much, and became more expressive lol. younger stein to me is a guy screaming in his head 247 but looking like 😐 while spirit stares at him trying to decipher what his eyelid twitching today means.