#im still suffering btw 😔

[mainfaggot]

i want ryujin so bad it makes me feel stupid it's like those cishet girls that lust over kpop men all over again. but ➡️ opposite direction so it's lesbian and insane of me and really am I any better? the answer is yes because anything that is gay is always better simply on principle

[bedrotboy]

thomas szasz writing a whole fucking thing about how the term mental illness is used to increase power of the state/medical system by miscategorizing many different issues under one inaccurate label as well as pathologizing inherent human suffering he terms "problems of living":

not catchy, gets mostly ignored by general public for 60 years, might have a point but doesn't fit well in a meme format

memers putting an image of hamster in a barbie car with captions about "the Horrors":

gives a shared language to talk about how sometimes shit is just shit, catchy, includes all kinds of suffering, vague but in a sexy way, accidentally captures what some big brain dude (szasz) was trying to say but does it *better*, has a point and is fun to say, memeable as fuck

score:

thomas szasz: 0

memers: 1

people vaguely saying 'the horrors' as shorthand for 'life problems, don't worry about it' in conversations where the problems are not going to be delved into has got to be one of my favorite new Ways Of Speaking that has emerged. like it's polite and vague and succinct enough for impersonal conversation but also extremely honest. it's very funny. The Horrors. we all know of them.

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (2/-)

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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: see my masterlist 🤍

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yourusername: here's to being free & having the best girlfriends in the entire world 💅🏽 Liked by ingridengen, begovargas, alexiaputellas and 1,193 others

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bff1 ilysm 😫 liked by yourusername ↳ bff1 admit it, im your favourite  ↳ yourusername only when you don't talk

albaps9 but not a singular gf (yet) ↳ yourusername bruja🖕

bff2 Three seconds before the chair fell backwards ↳ yourusername i had the softest fall ever 🙃

bff3 sistaaaars 👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 ↳ yourusername amuck amuck amuck ↳ bff1 who are the two little ones in the front? ↳ bff2 You're one of them, ofc ↳ bff1 because of my height?? ↳ yourusername hey, if the shoe fits 🤷‍♀️

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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story

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↳ 10min ago: albaps9 added to their story

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↳ 54secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 31secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 12 secs ago: yourusername just added to their story

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tagged: albaps9 yourusername: here's to having the best sister(s) in the entire world and having the worst ex (read: don't bother me again😊) Liked by: albaps9, alexiaputellas, laurafreigang and 899 others

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albaps9 still think you should've burned those roses ↳ yourusername they were innocent 😭 ↳ albaps9 also, next dinner's on you liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername i love you.

bff1 girlie that third one! 💅🏽 ↳ yourusername 😇

bff2 Do you have leftovers bc then i'm coming over tomorrow ↳ yourusername no but pls come, we can order in!! ↳ bff3 can I come over too? 🥺 ↳ yourusername duh 🥺 ↳ bff1 umm, helloooo? me? ↳ yourusername 🤣

bff2 Don't think your ex survived this burn btw liked by yourusername ↳ albaps9 one less shithead taking up space!

alexiaputellas Hermanita ❤️ liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername te quiero

marialeonn16 Another godly plate of 🍝 ↳ yourusername it really was 😭 ↳ marialeonn16 Invite me next time 🤬 ↳ yourusername i'll text you the restaurant so you can take ingrid!!

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marisabel_rguez: Having fun 😁🙃 Liked by haleyraso, asllani9, sofie.svava and 15,289 others

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haleyraso 💪🏼 liked by marisabel_rguez

yourusername i think this is first time i've seen you smile on the field 🧐 ↳ marisabel_rguez Maybe you just haven't watched me play enough! ↳ yourusername did you at least save the ball? ↳ marisabel_rguez Of course! 😉 ↳ yourusername i'll believe it when i see it ↳ marisabel_rguez Challenge accepted! 😎

signebruun20 🐑 ↳ olgacarmona7 that's a sheep ↳ carolinemoller_ beeee 🐐

username1 Um, hi, hello, can't be the only one seeing this? ↳ username2 misa finally not getting ignored by little putellas? and getting FLIRTED with? ↳ username3 🤣 ↳ username4 That's playful banter in my book ↳ username2 tomato tomato ↳ username1 me thinking something happened when they all went out the other day for them to acknowledge each other now 👉👈 ↳ username4 Tone it down, this is yn's first time commenting ↳ username3 exactly, which means the u-haul truck is coming next 🤣

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yourusername: aaaand the mystery continues. Liked by janafernandez3, albaps9, marialeonn16 and 1,002 others

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salmaparalluelo Note?? ↳ yourusername no 😔

albaps9 how can someone who's single make ME feel SINGLE???

jennihermoso I've been way too invested in this for weeks now 😂

marisabel_rguez 😮🌸

bff1 i think i know 😏 ↳ bff2 SPILL ↳ bff1 texts!! ↳ albaps9 let me in on this?? ↳ yourusername how about you tell ME first? ↳ bff1 honestly woman, how haven't you figured it out yet?

janafernandez3 This is still way too cute 😊 liked by ingridengen

marialeonn16 Getting closer and closer to the shovel talk 😈 ↳ alexiaputellas What are you talking about 🤨

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↳ 31min ago: yourusername added to their story

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marisabel_rguez: Happy with the points. Focus on the next game ⚽️🤛😁 Liked by realmadridfem, yourusername, atheeneeaa_10 and 15,299 others

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yourusername alright, you won the challenge ↳ marisabel_rguez What's my prize? ↳ yourusername bragging rights! 😚 ↳ marisabel_rguez ☹️ liked by yourusername

username1 I KNEW I SAW YN!! ↳ username2 she was there?? ↳ username1 Yeah, sitting in the family section but she was wearing sunnies and a cap ↳ username3 Why was she trying to be incognito tho? ↳ username4 never mind why she was, why was she THERE? at a REAL MADRID match?? when her family BREATHES barça??? ↳ username1 excuse my surprised pikachu face ↳ username2 probably why she was incognito then 😅 💙💔💛 ↳ username5 never mind why she was there, why are they FLIRTING in the comment section??? AGAIN? ↳ username6 that's not flirting 🤣 ↳ username4 shut up, debby downer

ivanaandres5 🙌

signebruun20 🐐

carolinemoller_ 🐐 ↳ signebruun20 copycat 😤 ↳ carolinemoller_ beeeee 🐑

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↳ 8min ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

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↳ 48secs ago: marisabel_rguez just added to their story

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yourusername: barcelona, i fall in love with exploring you every day ✨ Liked by marisabel_rguez, alexiaputellas, liekemartens and 1,203 others

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liekemartens I miss it and I miss you! ↳ yourusername me too, come back soon. bring your hubby 😘

marisabel_rguez 📸🤝

marisabel_rguez ❤️ liked by yourusername

username1 misa 👀 liked by 120 others

begovergas Barça adventure when? ↳ yourusername i'm free in three weeks! ↳ begovargas Texts! 😙

jafahernandez3 The best city 😊 liked by yourusername

ingridengen 💘 liked by yourusername

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marisabel_rguez: Royalty. Liked by yourusername, bff2, alexiaputellas and 14,596 others

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username1 Am I seeing double?

username2 same locations, no? ↳ username3 😮👀

jennihermoso You forgot your crown 👑 liked by marisabel_rguez

alexiaputellas Next time you're around, visit us! ↳ marisabel_rguez I will! 😅

yourusername 📸🤝 liked by marisabel_rguez

yourusername i think i've been in that place before! 🤨 liked by marisabel_rguez and 50 others

bff1 Loved meeting you 🤩 This comment is no longer available liked by marisabel_rguez ↳ bff2 SCAT! SCOOT! SCRAM! SKIDDOO! ↳ bff3 "why doesn't anyone ever tell my anything?": 😑

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tagged: alexiaputellas, fridolinarolfo, sanpanos yourusername: guess it was about time i got my first tattoo together with my three favourite mr gadgets to keep me company 😍 Liked by marisabel_rguez, bff3, fridolinarolfo and 1,693 others

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marisabel_rguez 😯🔥 liked by yourusername ↳ marisabel_rguez Really curious now!! ↳ yourusername 😌 ↳ marisabel_rguez 😣 ↳ yourusername it's not really in a place for people i'm not close to This comment is no longer available ↳ yourusername which means you're one of the lucky few who'll ever get to see it This comment is no longer available

alexiaputellas And you didn't even flinch! 😁 ↳ yourusername you're acting as if i haven't always been the toughest putellas 😤 ↳ albaps9 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ↳ alexiaputellas 😂😆 ↳ yourusername 😪 ↳ alexiaputellas It's a really beautiful tattoo 😘 ↳ yourusername thank you ale 😊

albaps9 for the next one, i'll be thereeee! coming over as we speak to come and see it 😌 liked by yourusername

bff2 I legit love it so much 😔💔 liked by yourusername

marialeonn16 If you ever want another one... 🤝 liked by yourusername

ona.battle Ohh, what did you get! ↳ yourusername i'll send you a pic! 😇

bff1 pic pic pic! ↳ yourusername no nudes on this page 🙅‍♀️ ↳ bff1 ruins all the fun ↳ yourusername voyeur

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realmadridfem: Misa Rodriguez is out of play due to illness and misses the next few matches. Get well soon! Liked by marisabel_rguez, haleyraso, olgacarmona7 and 9,248 others

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marisabel_rguez Gracias ❤️ ↳ haleyraso Coming back stronger than ever, I bet 🤝 ↳ marisabel_rguez You got it 😁 liked by realmadridfem

username1 Get well soon, Misa!

username2 feel better 😔

ivanaandres5 Come back soon 🍵🍎

olgacarmona7 ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

username3 shiiiit, noooo 😩

jennihermoso Better not miss national camp, missy! ↳ marisabel_rguez Not in the plans! What would you do without me? 😆 ↳ jennihermoso Have a lot less fun, that's for sure!

username4 well shit ↳ username5 Pretty sure her health is more important, no? ↳ username4 ofc, just mean she's important to real's success, too ❤️

carolinemoller_ Even goats need to rest from time to time!

sofie.svava Get better soon, champ!

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yourusername: feeling sicky poo. flu is killing me. but i got sent flowers (thank you 😉), have leftover pizza (i can't taste) and the best of friends keeping me company (who i've tried to kick out bc else they will also be sick in 1-5 business days). Liked by mikkykiemeney, bff1, ingridengen and 982 others

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salmaparalluelo you mean... flowers? ↳ yourusername yes... ↳ salmaparalluelo note??? ↳ yourusername 😶 ↳ salmaparalluelo OMG!!!??? ↳ albaps9 and i'm only hearing this right now because?? ↳ yourusername chill, i still don't know who it is ↳ albaps9 but the note?? ↳ yourusername was anonymous ): ↳ albaps9 what did it say? ↳ yourusername i'll text you.

ona.battle Feel better soon ☹️

username2 sus

username3 thaz suspicious 🧐 liked by 48 others

alexiaputellas Lots of water, veggies, sun and vitamins 👌 liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername okay 😭 ↳ alexiaputellas Mama's bringing soup for you three later! liked by bff2 ↳ bff1 give eli a smooch liked by alexiaputellas

username4 Sus!!!!

bff1 yk, they usually also call this the kissing disease but you do you, ig. liked by albaps9 ↳ albaps9 you're telling me... that...- ↳ bff1 yes 😗 ↳ bff2 OUT! 🥊

username5 🤨

marialeonn16 Get better soon, lil 'tellas! ❤️ liked by yourusername

esmeebrugts 🤕❤️‍🩹 liked by yourusername

username6 Anyone else connecting the dots???

patri8guijarro Que te mejores pronto 🤒 liked by yourusername

bff1 stop scrolling through insta, we're waiting 🙄 ↳ bff1 oh but maybe order some takeout while you're at it 😇 ↳ bff2 You're hungry AGAIN? ↳ bff1 we haven't had dessert???? ↳ bff3 Feeling so left out rn 💔 ↳ bff2 We can't all be in Barbados with a hot man 🤑 liked by bff3 ↳ bff3 Get well soon (in advance) lovelies 🤕 ↳ bff1 thank you! now go back and make us aunties 🤟 ↳ yourusername i'm going to put a leash on her one of these days ↳ bff2 Or one of those electric collars. Each comment, ZAP! Immediate shut up. Effective! ↳ bff1 ohhh i think i'd be into that ↳ bff3 I'm getting out of here!!!! Byeeee 🙄😘

username7 coincidence? i think tf not

aitanabonmati Que les vaya bien a todos. liked by yourusername

jennihermoso Feel better, little one! liked by yourusername

username8 lol not a flu exposing them 😂 liked by 134 others

Comments on this post are limited

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↳ 25secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 15secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 4secs ago: yourusername just added to their story

Direct message from albaps9: open albaps9 wait what happened all of a sudden?? ↳ albaps9 are you okay? ↳ yourusername yea im good albs ↳ albaps9 bullshit, i'm coming over

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[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Rebel please hear me out! Kratos! Reader w/ a twist!

This is an AU I’ve been dreaming of for like a week now. Btw ‘Kratos’ is a nickname Teyvat’s citizens gave the reader, not their actual birth name

Centuries ago, before the Great Archon War was a massacre like no other. All your beloved Archons of today had radically different personalities. Most of them took their divine roles for granted by succumbing to sin. Until one day: The mortals rebelled. They were fed up, but not quite like one bitter soul was.

A being made of flesh with gold flowing through their veins was born. The half blood was the embodiment of humanity’s wrath. They led mankind to war with the Gods. Nearly 2/3 of deities were slaughtered within a year. This was the year the Gods were humbled…..

In the end, Kratos was tragically slain by the hands of their own heavenly parent. That massacre was a painful lesson that present day Archons still follow: Devotion is something that is earned. For someone to be devoted to you, they must have respect and faith that you will lead them in the right direction. Do not abuse the faith others bestow upon you.

To this very day, humans still praise their name. They erected statues in their likeness. Kratos is viewed as a champion of mankind by the mortals, a bittersweet reminder of a shameful period in time for certain for the divine……So get this. In an ironic twist of fate, centuries later, a baby was placed at the doorstep of a cathedral one late night. A baby who was born with very familiar tattoo-like markings on their body.

An Archon, who was spared by that same tortured soul, was now cradling the tiny babbling creature. “Oh. My. Heavens. H-how!? Do you remember me, Little One? I am deeply regretful for the suffering we caused. Please, can we start anew? A fresh beginning for all of us.”

Sincerely, 🌩️ Anon

🌩️ ANON IM SO SORRY I DIED ON YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭

But holy cow this is a good narrative. I 100% love this! Definitely gets the brain juices going for sure 👀👀👀👀

Kratos being a mortal ascending to the powers of divinity solely because of their bitter nature and revenge-esque methods is definitely interesting! I might write something (no promises) if I find the motivation in myself :D

Venti having PTSD fr tho—somebody get him a therapist 😔

[starsofang]

IM HERE IM HERE!!! My lateness can be excused by the heat exhaustion I suffered😔 Which, honestly, makes me wonder if these boys are always sunburnt? Especially Ghost, we KNOW that poor guy is paler the paper. (It’s okay Simon, me too.) Also with all that gear on how do they NOT suffers from heat exhaustion and heat stroke??

I feel like I say this every chapter but this is my favorite chapter yet😭 It’s just so heartbreakingly beautiful. You can tell they care for her so much and their just big brutes who don’t know how to show their feelings and emotions.

NOW EVERYONE LISTEN WHEN I SAY I BELIEVED IN JOHN THE ENTIRE TIME🫵🏻🫵🏻 My John Price cares too much about his crew and now reader is apart of that and he cares for her. But he’s a emotionally stunted man like the rest of crew I fear.

So. Angie. I’ve got a little bone to pick with you. Did you PURPOSELY make Ghost’s backstory so heartbreaking that I wanted to throw my phone.

AND YOU MAKING SOAP THE PEACE-MAKER WILL NEVER NOT BE INSANE. Like I love love love your take on Soap.

Gaz. My dear, precious Gaz. You weren’t really here this chapter but know you where there in spirt and in my heart <33

So! This concludes my entirely too long of a rant! Take care of yourself, don’t overwork yourself! You’re still human (even if I think you might have some superhero’s writing powers).

you’re LATE 🫵🏻 but so am i so we’re even.

i mean have you ever seen pirates? those mfs wear like 4 layers of heavy clothes and somehow are like yeah this is good. i fear 141 is just built different.

MY JOHN BELIEVER, I TOLD YALL TO HAVE FAITH IN ME AND YOU ALWAYS DID 🫵🏻 his backstory is just as heartbreaking so i hope youre prepared when the time comes <3 they all are tbh

ghost had to have a painful backstory, let’s be honest. and i didn’t even include the whole thing yet. there’s more, and it involves how him and price met as well as more graves, obviously (fuck him btw). i’m so fucking excited for it u have no idea, this man has suffered and i like writing broken men so i tried going all out with it because it’s fun ✊🏻

gaz is gonna get his special moment soon just u wait

I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AS ALWAYS MY NUMBA 1 SUPPORTER FR ☝🏻 i got my groove back a bit with this chapter seeing how long it is so i’ma make that shit stay

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Too many Binghe haters jumping into the askbox so I'm here to represent Binghe lovers.

Luo Binghe is a fun, interesting character who suffers a lot from shallow readings. Which is ironic considering the main source of tension in his relationship with Shen Qingqiu, the MC - who is originally a reader of the novel in which Luo Binghe is the protagonist - is that Shen Qingqiu keeps reading him shallowly / expecting him to act according to some or other character archetype, and thus misses that Binghe is a complex person with his own rich inner world. Basically it's meta-commentary on how readers do a disservice to characters by oversimplifying them to just a few traits and/or their role in the story (SVSSS in general is super meta) but unfortunately not a few ppl read the novel and fell into those same trappings ^^"

It also doesn't help that Shen Qingqiu is an unreliable af narrator, which leads to some people insisting that Luo Binghe forced him into a relationship or is manipulating him or w/e... This is about a guy who waxes poetics about Luo Binghe's unparalleled beauty every time he lays eyes on him. Like cmon, he just has a lot of internalized homophobia and shame to work through, give him a break!! And the so-called 'manipulation' is half the time Luo Binghe looking vaguely disappointed and Shen Qingqiu going "wow! I cannot believe the most beautiful man in the world whom i love so much that i died for him twice and whom im dating is making me have sex with him! Luo Binghe sure is a master of emotional manipulation!" and other half the time Luo Binghe super obviously whining for attention which - canonically, its in the text - makes it easier for Shen Qingqiu to be honest with him.

But enough salt; reasons why Binghe is a top blorbo go:

The narrative (which btw is a real force in this world) is trying to make him into an iron-fist Ruler Of Everything but his greatest aspiration in life is to be a househusband.

Was supposed to be a protagonist of an uber-straight harem novel but threw heterosexuality out the window within 3 interactions with MC. 

His love language is cooking! It's adorable but it'll also hurt u. (Binghe kept making three meals a day for Shen Qingqiu during the five years the latter was dead :) )

A big part of his arc is about learning to be vulnerable and show his sensitive side. (In general, one of the novel's major themes is toxic masculinity and how it harms ppl; I just particularly like how its explored with Binghe.)

A Good Boy (has been going through a corruption arc for 2/3rds of the novel yet it still took a cursed sword controlling his mind for him to start acting like the OG) 

Lotsa delicious fridge horror around him being the narrative's favorite chew toy. Things only ever get worse for him and reality will warp itself to deny him a chance to heal while the story is in progress, because he has a Role and that role is ‘a villainous protagonist’.

But also u get to cry about how he was saved in the end by the power of just one reader loving him and wanting better for him. (SVSSS is also a love letter to fandom/fanworks okay :] ) 

Very powerful but also a nervous wreck. Tripped and fell flat on his face when proposing to his boyfriend.

Just in general him being clingy and whiny and a mess is mega cute (me 🤝 Shen Qingqiu) 

This makes for a great contrast with him being a super OP nigh-unkillable demon lord btw. He could drown the world in blood but he's too busy crying Ghibli tears in his man’s lap. 

Also I need to mention he's extremely funny about being nigh-unkillable too. Like, *gets injured* Shen Qingqiu: "We can have sex once u r better 😔" Luo Binghe: *popping broken limbs back into place*: "I'm better! :D" 

Has a praise kink AND a masochistic streak. Apparently when Shen Qingqiu praises him and pats his head it's exciting, but when Shen Qingqiu scolds him and hits him that's also exciting. 

Has the peak character design detail in the form of a demon mark on his forehead. Built-in kissies target 🥰 Also when fanartists draw it in different shapes to represent his mood? Absolutely delightful 100/10 no notes <3

Why do I feel like this man has Kenergy

[void-chara]

cosplayed subz at vidcon baltimore yesterday! so cool! wow!

yipeeeeee rambling and more images below readmore

so first! i went in a group!

subz is me obviously, cellbit is my qpp elric (@rainy-day-wizard), and grian is my younger sister (@lepa-frog). least cohesive group of cosplayers ever. tho there ARE connections! i cosplayed a guy with moon symbolism and lepa cosplayed a guy with sun symbolism! so we are like moon and sun! cool! and me and elric both hit our guys with the catboyification beams.

wearing all those headbands was hell btw. the horns were separate sets so there were two diff elastoc strings digging into my skull. AND the cat ear headband. anyway i saw cosplayers there who used headbands to have gamertags floating above their heads and i wanna do that next time. the suffering isnt enough i need four headbands. more realisticly i will probably attach it to the cat ear one but upgrading to four would be funnier.

also those horns give me enough gender euphoria to rival wearing a binder

stuff i made for this: painted the pattern on the glove and the big horns, sewed the shoulder scale things onto the coat(they were already in the triangles when i got them, i just attached them to the coat), made the button and chain thing on the coat, made and eclipse federation flag which i attached to the back of the coat, made lepas wing headband, and made the whole shirt thing. whatever its called. i sewed all that.

better pictures!

was up till ~3am the night before vidcon dyeing the streak in my hair, and then up till 1am the next night watching subz's first stream back from his vacation. doing soo well on sleep rn. gonna be up late tonight doing homework probably

only got one day tickets cause i got other shit to do, couldnt spend a whole weekend on this.

was super fun tho! ran into sooooo many cosplayers. one person recognized me as "that guy from lifesteal" which is more than i was expecting! 3 people asked if i was the enderdragon and one asked if i was docm77. tbh i get it, they both got the big horns, the funky shit going on with one arm and side of the face, and both got the tits out look. i could not accurately recreate the tits out look because i would have been charged with public indecency.

anyway i think like half the population of cosplayers were ranboos and technos. had to rehabilitate an especially large group at one point who were not being super considerate of other congoers 😔 was still fun to see all the people tho! also ran into some cranboos who i recognized from tumblr which was wild, those two and their friends were really cool!!

also one of the ranbs mentioned divorce papers and now im so sad i didnt think to make eclipse federation divorce papers :( would have been the best prop ever

con itself was a little mid, wasnt a lot to do, but the experience was super fun, so im glad i went

[sketchquill]

HIHIHIHI HEHEHE GIGGLES I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT <3333 MWA MWA /P

It's almost 5 am and I'm now thinking about Corpse Puppet and how close we are to seeing it completed. Im currently quietly crying because I really don't want this lovely AU to come to a close, but I also can't help but cry at the fact that we'll see Wally turn into butterflies ;;

I KNOW ITS SILLY BUT AAKSKEKDKD I'VE GROWN REALLY ATTACHED TO CORPSE!WALLY AND I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO SEE HIM GO, NOT YET ;; He deserved so much better, the way my heart is aching.. </333

YOU'RE DOING AMAZING BUT AAAA I CANT STOP CRYING AUZYDHSJS

HI LATTEEE (＾▽＾)／

AAAAAA I KNOW!! THE CORPSE PUPPET AU IS SO CLOSE TO BEING FINISHED! 😭💕

It’s kind of insane to me because tbh I didn’t think i’d get this far with the AU since it pretty much started because all I wanted to do was draw Wally as if he was Emily for fun and I had absolutely no plans for it ((still don’t I’m making shit up as I go along lmao)) and it just spiralled on from there!

He’s gotta turn into butterflies bro it’s a canon event 😔✋ plus I love seeing you guys suffer mwuahahaha >:3c

IM SORRYYYYY (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

BTW!

I’m thinking about how since I’m close to finishing the AU I could maaaaybe 🤏 try adding peoples Welcome Home OCs as background characters for when the Dead go upstairs for the wedding and also maybe some as the Living as well as a way to thank you guys for all the love and support for the AU.

However I don’t want to get your hopes up but that’s mainly because I’m not 100% sure on whether or not I want to do that since there’ll probably be a lot of people who’d want their OCs included and that’s a bit nerve wracking to me and also because I dunno how many scenes I’ll be able to do to include them (ʘᗩʘ;)

[ouroborosreilig]

I'm so normal over 3d life desert duo tbh

like. just feel like, in my humble opinion, everything in one way or another went down from there (in a way kind of sort of)

Like in 3d life Scar & Grian were. well. u know. they

were 3d life Scar & Grian (aka inseparable doomed by the narrative a tragedy from the start duo. I want to put them in a jar and shake them) like tahts when everything STARTED too. that's the roots where it all began.......

in last life (I DONT REMEMBER THIS ONE VERY MUCH..😔) the southlanders fell apart, and Scar was alone, but in one way or another those 2 were like. circling each other kinda?

In. err. In double life... fate and destiny did it's thing, but it was like crazy. cus they were stuck together but also hurting each other kinda, like the Scar snow powder thing, and the Grian bigB thing.....

Then in LIMITED LIFE.. both of them had a stable home basically, Grian the bad boys and Scar, the clockers. But. But. They were still, AGAIN, in one way or another still, like always, circling each other (I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT PHRASE BUT IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY 😭) in the burning down the mansion, becoming cousins, GRIAN KILLING SCAR, the whole thing is just a mess, really

Then u look back at 3rd life. In 3rd life, they were "perfect", in that sad, sad way. Like 3rd life was the beginning of it all and it never really let them go. Like it was always like afterwards, Grian was afraid of really really trusting people (coughScarcough) and never got too close, and when he DID get close it ended badly. Like he knew it’d end badly, so he was trying to stay kind of away from everywhere he thought he could hurt, so it wouldn’t be as painful when it ended badly. And after 3d life, Scar seemed to like… not be vengeful really, I can’t explain it but after 3rd life he always seemed to have like; some sorta essence of 3rd life? Like it rubbed off on him and changed him kinda?????? God that man is too much for me to dissect UGHH (but I hope u get what I mean at least a little. ..)

verdict. They are a Greek tragedy mixed with ballroom dancing mixed with poisoning each others drinks mixed with more Greek tragedy

(btw.:. So sorry for the rant I just went crazy for a little and idrk anyone else Normal about desert duo /pos so I had to tell u.. hope u understand 😔 if u want me to stop tho pls pls pls pls pls pls tell me!!!!!!!!!! Alsoo if u want to add anything onto this PLEASE DO… I don’t analysis gtws enough to know The Things about him and I can’t rewatch the life series or I cry(

im gonna throw up (in an insane way)

god yeah no yeah erm yeah this is my thoughts as well gheughiagorjdghnnnkm THEY SUCK! WHY DO YTHEY DOOOO THIS......... Anyways... Yeah.......

it feel s like TO ME... scar really wants that moment back, like all of the things they had in the desert, even if it was just the 2 of them really it didnt feel that lonely and they were happy w/ each other !!!!! and he is sad. and sad..... he just wants his buddy back he has no hard feelings (of the cactus r [explodes])

but grian is MISERABLE he's suffered severe emotional damage after . yknow.. and he just keeps killing scar over and over and over again and each time hes so so sorry but he keeps doing it! the way it happened in limited life though is so very interesting to me because he really didn't have to there were plenty of other people and yeah maybe scar was easy pickings for having his back turned and being so vulnerable but also why. maybe so it didnt hurt as bad the longer it went on with the 2 of them alive hahahahahhaha anyways what are we talking about

[boyfhee]

jay is the husband who would bring you a flower a day, searching what each flower mean 🥺 fuck it, i cant have him but you can.

thanks, you can definitely give me more tips for counselling hehe. i don't know if she will take bipc but she says i will cause one day she tell, ill take arts amd commerce other day ill take mec and other day, polytechnic haha like she chamges it everyday so i really cant tell.

but she is studying in 10th so, a few more months and she will decide what is good for her. the fact that there will be no boards for the coming 10th students 😔 why were we born in the 2000's era caelin? why?

i dont think you will faint in faint of the cadaver, i have seen dissection videos on youtube before i join pcm so, i know the courage it takes to stand near it and do it + when you sleep alone at night, what if it haunts you 😭 nooo, i am done for sure.

since i am an ENGINEERing student, can't talk about it but i will always talk medicine with you. please share me what you learn sometimes caelin, ok? hope your medicine years will go smoothly <3

i got into kpop early 2020, day before bts on comeback 😁 i never knew what were comebacks or debut or contents etc etc. until i started stanning bts. and then enhypen since the day their profiles were released 🤧 i saw my bois grow, you cant ask me how i suffered. eggies will definitely cry if you ask them about iland.

what groups did you stan during your early kpop days??? and what kdramas or anime were your firsts?? i am 17 so it's okay if i interact with you right?? i saw your carrd too, but asking again 😌

anyway, goodnight caelin, hope you meet jay in your dreams. tell me if you guys got married or not :0 and when you see this, it will be morning so happy morning <33 and happy bakhrid.

— lover clun anon ^3^

im tweaking please stop . literally wanted to write a jay fic as we speak, but i have no motivation to write these days TT

OMG tenth graders are like that !!! my brother is also in tenth and one day he wants to go in soft engineering and the other, astrophysics or lawyer, it's a mess. he hates bio though, so med is definitely not an option for him :"> AND NO BOARDS FOR TENTH ANYMORE ? god hates me. out batch felt so experimental tbf :/

i love watching dissection / surgery videos, but what if i can't stand the smell ㅠㅠ gna sleep at night after reciting hanuman chalisa bruv o_o also my cousin is a dentist and she told be about a dream she had where he was running away from a huge jaw ?? chasing after her ?? it was a couple days before her finals lmfao

and i would love to hear you talk about engineering too :D not that i know a lot, but maybe this is my chance to expand my knowledge >< i will surely tell you what i learn ( was revising thorax anatomy yesterday btw ) hope engineering treats you well mwah

ohh omg i used to stan bts ! like around blood, sweat and tears era ?? it lasted till they they dropped idol i think ? and then it felt like their music changed drastically so i stopped listening to them, but i do have a few new songs that i like, mostly solo works that too of jk only TT i have a v bad habit of not listening to new songs for some reason

actually, two of my friends gushed about iland, but i was never into survival shows so i just listened to them and hyped them up but never focused on it. then i saw that sunghoon was debuting as an idol— i knew him since he was a figure skater, but that still didn't convince me to check them out lmfao TT but i came across fever one day and i'm telling you, i listened to it for weeks straight before even bothering to check the group out hehe ( _ _; ) even though i haven't watched iland, i've seen clips and that gave me an idea of how the show was

my first kpop group was exo ! i stanned bts shortly after, and then was introduced to nct, then svt, now enhypen. although i have been a casual listener to a lot of groups, esp ggs. and the only ggs i've ever stanned are formis and aespa >< my first kdrama was suspicious partner, i love it so much :D the chemistry is so good ++ it has a mystery element so i love it even more. and first anime was haikyuu TT i love them sm, it's truly my comfort show

now tell me about you :O your first kdrama, anime, first bias, how did you come across kpop, do you collect albums / merch— anything !

ps i didn't meet jay in my dreams ( for some reason, whenever i have enha dreams they're super weird and the boys try to kill me most of the time ) i had a nice sleep nonetheless, hope u did too ! eid mubarak to you as well ^_^

[divorcingjimmatthews]

episode 9 reactions hdhhskfhshfhd (spoilers!!!!)

the cicadas

RANDALL BETTER NOT DIE OKAY I STILL BELIEVE HE CAN LEARN TO BE NORMAL I STILL BELIEVE IN HIM

i'm like 99% sure julie won't die so i'm not worried about her but omg tabitha is going through so much right now with her child in pain/danger and being unable to help... T_T

i felt really bad for mari when she said she doesn't want to be like this 😔 she deserves to get better and to get to be fully herself. she's getting a lot of hate in the fandom that i feel is unwarranted, we've only seen her being really sick and even then she's always been trying to help the others

this should be its own post but i'd like to see a jade and marielle friendship, she would probably get REALLY serious with him if she hears him casually joke about how much he's into party drugs like he did around kenny, and tell him that he should count himself lucky to still be able to just get away from all that consequence-free. i also want a boyd and marielle dynamic, he's good at adopting troubled girls

team tabby

i don't need a lot to be happy. jade sitting as autistically as possible on the kitchen counter means everything to me. he's just so easy to love, like a cat. also i really appreciate the way the show moved heaven and earth to make jade and tabby end up alone together for the night. the matthews house getting demolished + the new horror making it so that no one can be alone at night + jim leaving his family to go on his crazy adventure at the RV... im grateful i truly am

jade really took the supportive role to tabby's lead in the investigation and i love that for them. there's something so special to me about this dynamic, we're so used to genius guy detective + layman sidekick, seeing it flipped is so special to me. tabby is so awesome that the rich genius guy is actually her sidekick! love them sm

victor, tian chen, julie and ethan were so so sweet i'm literally heartbroken about what ethan said to victor!!! now that jade just learned to be normal istg this poor man can't catch a break???? he's a kid and he's scared i obviously don't blame him but i bet victor was so hurt T_T still im really happy to see him be more social. he's in good hands with tian chen. i swear the new "can't be alone at night" horror was engineered in a lab to socialise the loners against their will like feral kittens and i'm so down with it LMAO like yes you can bet i'll write jade fanfic about this

EDIT LMAO POSTED BY MISTAKE HERES THE REST

jim... jimmy... jimbo...

what is he doing!! what is he doing!!!!!!!!!! fighting the rifle guy at colony house istg this man LMAOO tabby did the same thing when she just arrived they're so like that... like now you wanna get back to your family i get it but if you go out there you're gonna die. he looks so cute in that jacket btw now i'm officially simping for both tabitha AND jim just like jade

kenny and sara

im really enjoying these scenes even if i'm suffering so much for kenny and i just want to yoink him out of this depressing plot they got him in, he belonged in that room playing board games with victor the kids and his mom istg!!! but all the sara scenes are extremely compelling and omg kenny is just so !!! i need to hug him. he went through that to keep everyone else safe SIGHS

sara's got a... way of dealing with the whole thing that's for sure. she brought up like the worst possible conversation topic when looking at the map LMAO i just couldn't believe it was possible to screw up that bad. i kinda have a bit of paranoia specifically about going crazy and killing someone and then having to emotionally deal with that (just my brain being my brain dont ask) so her plot fascinates me because i've mulled over how i'd feel and how i'd deal with a situation like that so much. but i draw the sympathy line at hurting kenny and she's still hurting him so !!!!!!!! girl just shut up when he asks you to shut up it's not that hard arghh

really good insight about the place and peoples fears though. was she saying that the place gets stronger the more people it manages to kill? thats a really nice explanation for all the mix-and-match weird horror stuff going on together at the same time tbh, i like it a lot if it's like that. if khatri was afraid of god's punishment or something like that then i guess they're royally fucked (some of victor's drawings showed the place getting flooded...)

[wildernessuntothemselves]

chapter 7 got me losing it—

this time reading smut with yj was even harder than in the previous chapter (i mean her losing her virginity to yj, I actually thought I was gonna cry myself to sleep), not sure if that was intentional or not. deep down oc is still suffering from the single thought of letting gyu go, same for him. moving places may seriously break them down soon… which means that they are destined to be together after all 😔 (jkjk im delusional) i understand if she chooses yj in the end and they may it work, but I don’t see their relationship to be fully sincere or oc being genuinely in love (or feeling attached to) with yeonjun, and I’m not sure if yj will be happy to cope with it all the time.

the last words about asking oc to take photos for the group and it being gyu’s idea in the first place… 💔

btw im truly waiting for haeun to finally show up and do some shit ><

the struggle is definitely intentional but she is doing better at letting gyu go. she is not thinking about him every moment of every day. she is starting to let yeonjun in and may actually grow to love him in time

haha haeun will show up next chapter

[mchiti]

still me, one direction anon 😂 I laughed when you said we will be singing live while we're young at the their reunion in our 40s. At this rate this is probably going to happen. I think it's good they are not reuniting sooner though, as much as I missed them I know it was very bad for them 😔. That's why I don't understand their resentment towards zayn still given he was battling an ED. Sorry for ranting in your ask about them btw. Im probably annoying you 😂😂 But you're so nice xxx

Hi dear anon! Forgive me if i'm answering after days. I actually find it very sweet that I reblogged one single song from zayn and I have summoned a wave of nostalgia jhfgdsa. I really don't mind it bc I love those memories and I actually loved those losers (affectionate). Still listen to them occasionally and memorabilia is still there in my room and there it stays, no shame. collective pop culture is a great thing that shapes generations (we like it or not).

I'm just putting the rest under the cut for two reasons: first I don't want to annoy who understandably doesn't give a shit and second

TW: EATING DISORDER please look away if it's triggering.

From what I gather from keeping up occasionally when I feel nostalgic: I think they all kind of came to terms with everything? I saw a recent interview of Louis cause he talked about Zayn and I actually found it very sweet how he said he does understand more of it now. I actually really appreciate Louis as a person. I kind of thought of Harry as a pettier person but he was also nice enough when he talked about Zayn recently?

To be fair I think they all knew about his ED. I know a lot of their fans are still very delusional and find stuff when they are not there (the first rule always was: do not believe anything they say). But one thing that actually makes sense to me is that story of Harry never singing "weigh" in little things in the last half of 2014 (which was when Zayn said his disorder was at its worst and it was so apparent looking back at it now. It makes me so uncomfortable when I see videos & pics of that time. You know? That's also a very sensitive topic to me so yeah I feel so sorry for him, he looked so fragile and yet we were all here stanning him and thinking he looked like a Disney prince then...I'm glad those days are over yeah? I still find Four the best album and I have fond memories of it but they really looked terribly exhausted). I don't want to sound delusional and I certainly don't want to cuddle a white man for doing the bare minimum but seems to me very obvious he knew about it from the way he used to look at him while (not) singing that and from a lot of dynamics. and so the others. I guess it was mostly about the way he left in the middle of that tour, but it's been 8 years now...really feels like a lifetime. Sure they were rich and privileged, but what happened to them in terms of overwork and exhaustion really should not happen again (5 albums and 4 world tours in 5 years? How is that ...yeah) I think they all suffered much and they certainly know it and hint at that all the time. If they come back in years and on their own terms, that'll be very sweet (and i'll be there too! lool)

[kokitschi]

1. i love your blog sm kokichi is my favourite character (mayyyybe besides tsumugi but if so he's a CLOSE second. maybe even on par.) and your enthusiasm makes my WHOLE day i love it so much

2. (if you don't mind me responding to your post in ask format. if not feel free to ignore lol) I don't think what Kokichi suffers from enough to cause his death is self-hatred. I think it's self-apathy, and that messes me up UNIMAGINABLY so i HAVE to get it off my chest.

I think the fact that Kokichi is so enthusiastic about so many things (real or fake, he undeniably acts it, and at the very LEAST we know he cares about the death game. and i like to think he just cares about games in general. i think his special interest is chess but that's a headcanon for another post-) and he cares so little about his own life that he'd WILLINGLY do that to himself, for any reason, is absolutely DEVASTATING. I don't think he cares enough about his own life to hate it. He constantly uses himself as just a 'piece' or a 'character' in his own little method of winning (surviving - and helping other people to survive, too) the game (goddamn the chess metaphors at it again 😔), from pretending to be the mastermind, to playing devil's advocate every. single. trial. to lying and covering up evidence during trials, to finally, literally killing himself to get what he wants. He detaches himself so much FROM himself that when the time comes that his death is beneficial, he's like "yeah, seems legit" and just. does it.

(Sidenote: I find it incredibly ironic that everyone sees him as this master manipulator, and the person he manipulates most successfully is himself. Anyway-)

(sorry for the word vomit! your post just got me THINKING and i love character analysis so much AUGH themes and narratives and characters rotating in my head at all times. i cannot not speak about it.)

me rn:

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

-

that is a very good point! personally i've always seen him as rather depressed but he's grown very apathetic - he accepted himself as a bad person who won't change. you're right - he does not care about himself.

i also think that he isn't insecure. i think he knows what he's capable of perfectly well. so he's like "okay, if i don't do this - who will?"

because most of the others are still in conflict with themselves, they're unsure about what to do and that makes them slow to act.

i don't think that kokichis some perfect machine who has completely turned off his emotions, at all, but he's better at it than most.

because, like you said, he's very detached from himself - he's a game piece, he's playing the role of the antagonist. he's just doing what's meant for his role.

i imagine that he still has his conscience screaming at him though.

and i think that kinda bleeds into his actions, almost but not exactly subconsciously if that makes sense.

like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call.

-

btw, i must tell you, this part: "He detaches himself so much FROM himself that when the time comes that his death is beneficial, he's like "yeah, seems legit" and just. does it." has got my brain on zoomies. it's like. yeah. that's so so so fucked. i love it

-

BTW hard same on the chess hc and i also like tsumugi a lot!! (though more as a concept)

i dunno how accessible this fic is for non-umineko fans but a fic that encapsulates both of ^these things is this one. one of my faves for sure.

-

never feel sorry about ranting in my asks, posts or whatever! i love reading this stuff!!! (can't promise i'll always answer this fast tho lol)

[starjxsung]

hai star, how are you?

ughh! i’m so so sorry your sister had to go through that :((( it really is so frustrating. i also haven’t been able to fully enjoy my vacation (or anticipating lolla peacefully either) bc even if i didn’t fully work things out, i was still stressing. i’m just frustrated bc nobody organized this well. i have a lil fault bc i could’ve reached out earlier but my professors or the program coordinators or whatever could’ve reached out to the supervisors and gathered all the info before just saying i was assigned to the center. they said there’d be other people but they didn’t tell me i was competing (they probs didn’t even know cuz they didn’t even communicate with the supervisors). idk, it’s a super red flag imo from all parts. i hope things do work out in the end. at least my professor said that if we can’t talk it out she’ll find me a new center (bc like i wanna leave so badly but i want my master’s bc if not all this suffering would have been for nothing🥲).

nonetheless, im so so so glad your sister’s internship came through but they handled it sooooo terribly. i feel for her so much. idk why people (especially if they take internships/practicums like wtf) don’t organize their shit!! but whatever, we ball. but it’s been so crazy lately. grad school has been too intense, where can i apply to place lip balm upon the lips of lee know? pls lmk

the move has been kinda stressy bc it’s been raining so badly here and we haven’t been able to clean the outside of the apartment 🥲 but we ballin too.

in terrible news, as we talk about lack of competence, tw: pet loss. as i was writing this message my bf said that the vet told him today that his senior family dog who was in surgery and had a leg amputation due to cancer had to be revived and was at the verge of death. which is so so so sad in itself. as a person that loves my animals more than anything, i would’ve taken the decision to put her down before the surgery but to each their own. but what really pisses me off is that the vet didn’t even do (or offer, in fact) to get her bloodwork done, knowing that she was high risk due to her age, condition and weight. the vet didn’t even do checked if she could survive before scheduling the surgery. and my bf’s parents were very naive and didn’t question it. and man, hate people that have lives in their hands and only care about money. this poor baby is still suffering there as of right now and it absolutely breaks my heart.

on a brighter note, my bf and i have a vinyl collection and i just ordered ateez’s the world ep.fin:will a few days ago. i’m really excited to get it. i’ve never seen a kpop vinyl irl and im really really interested in how it’ll look.

that is my life update of the day. i love you sm. thanks for giving me space to vent and im so sorry for always venting here </333 i hope you’re having a good time nonetheless, you genuinely deserve all that is good in life <3

(this is me btw)

-🐈‍⬛

THI WOOYOUNG PIC CRYINGGGGG why is he so cutie…….. 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

I’m still just so frustrated that you have to be dealing with this :( and even if you feel like you should have reached out earlier, I feel like it was still on THEM to communicate that to you. Like how are you just supposed to magically know what to do considering it’s your FIRST TIME doing this…. it doesn’t add up !!!! it’s almost like radio silence leads to miscommunication and misdirection 🤔 hmmmm

anyways. let me know how it all comes along and I’m rooting sooo hard for you in the meanwhile 🙂‍↕️🫶 you got this bby you’re SO smart and capable and I know you’ll get there !

Oh my god :( I am so so so sorry to hear about your bf’s senior family dog :( it is so VILE that they wouldn’t communicate the risks or offer to get bloodwork done first. Of COURSE all they would care about is rushing a pet into surgery as fast as possible for a big check :( how’s she doing now? Was she sent home? And does she seem to be having any adverse effects from being revived? I am so so so sorry again bby that is so unfortunate and my heart breaks at the idea of a dog going through that much suffering 💔💔 me & momo are sending all our love & prayers your way, I hope she’s able to recover okay and have some more years ahead of her still :(

ON that brighter note, let me know how the vinyl looks !! That is so exciting! I own RM’s Indigo and BTS Love Yourself on vinyl and I’d love to buy more, but my record player broke (it’s just a cheap ass crosley soooo… no surprise lmao) but when I get another one I definitely want to get a few more good ones! My sister’s always dreamed of having Key’s Bad Love on vinyl so I’ll probably snag that for her. And then some Ateez and probably Shinee 🤲 I feel like onew vinyl probably sounds so heavenly frfr

I love you so so much bby and I promise to send all the San & Yeosang pics when I get them this week !! Sending you all my love, hang in there 🫶💖 I love you so so much 🫶💓💖💘❤️🩷 (hello kitty Wooyoung and Hongjoong sooo real)

[chaninfused]

I . literally don’t know where to start oh my god.

before I start rambling under the cut: IF YOURE READING THIS GO AND READ EVENING STAR I BESEECH THEE 🗣

ok OK you know how excited I’ve been for a new installment of es and let me tell you- IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT !! like when I woke up yesterday and saw the post about posting part two I SHRIEKED (silently) I will forever lose my mind over this series there’s nothing you can do about it 😌

anyway time for real feedback let me just say. Kat. I am OBSESSED with your writing like you don’t understand. I am obsessed. And this fic reminded me of that cus omg !! YOUR STYLE NEVER MISSES 🗣 from the very start like the way you described mc waking up. the disorientation the confusion the panic it’s just so scrumptious 😙👌🏻 I was truly so engrossed in reading and that was evident in my STRESS omg I wanted to physically reach in and grab those two and just SPRINT out of there 💆🏻‍♀️ it was truly getting serious.

The suspense !! mc running through the forest and then reuniting w chan !! it was all just written so beautifully <3 and oh my goodness that part where chan finds mc in her room ✋🏻 I was stressed as HELL but im glad it all went well in the end sdhjksld I said this in my feedback for pt 1 and I must say this again—reading this felt like watching a movie. Perhaps the bg music played into it but I know that it was all thanks to the way you went about writing those scenes. You paid so much attention to detail and it shows cus every sentence was crafted so beautifully. There’s a certain flow ?? dynamic ?? to your words that just pulls the reader’s mind through the scene it’s like seeing something through a camera. I’m trying to say that your camerawork is excellent ig 👁 LMFAO SDHJFKSLDFS

There was this line, “stories of heroes could be immortalised by ink and tongue, but things like safety were only temporary” that I just really really liked. Nothing particular I just think it’s nice so i’m drawing attention to it 😌

Speaking of lines I also liked this part “No; Chan wouldn’t just be pointing fingers - he’d be pointing a sword at whoever’s name you let slip” cus it’s 1) funny 2) clever 3) sums up chan’s character pretty nicely GHFSDJKLSD

I must say minho’s first line is the most iconic tho I IMMEDIATELY knew he was gonna be my favorite character and I know I’ll suffer because of it 😔✋🏻 but that’s okay everything for mister snarky mage

Pardon the incoming minho rant btw I JUST REALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER DGHFJKSD 😭 him helping mc from a distance and then his introduction—just immediately threatening the One Guy With A Sword. Absolutely a moment for the history books I must say. Also his backstory ?? whatever history he has with mc ?? I am utterly and absolutely shaking with curiosity I need to know 1) what happened 2) WHO LEFT HIM SO HURT 🔪

I may have been all heart eyes over knight chan but it seems that my agenda has changed 😔 as it often does when minho appears.

ALSO WTSFDFGSDHGSDJ I NEARLY FORGOR

HYUNJIN ????????????????????????????????????????????????/ HYUNJIN I KNEW IT TJHKDFSHDJFKSLD;KDSJGHSJDK he was suspicious from the very start smh I can’t defend you for this one bestie 😔 I say this fully knowing I’ll be over here kicking my legs if he shows up again it’s just the hyunjin stan in me I cannot stop her she’s embarrassing ✋🏻

Oh also I said something that I want to elaborate on/clarify further—that the way you described minho shows the familiarity shared between him and mc ☝🏻 this could just be the overthinker in me but like you focused on how his features had changed and matured rather than introducing them (if that makes sense 💀) so like, as readers, we got a general description of him, but then this focus nicely depicted the relationship he and mc have. They haven’t seen each other in years but still he’s familiar yk familiar enough that mc would notice the growth in him after so long- IDK IF ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I JUST WANTED TO EXPLAIN CUS !!!! YOUR WRITING WAS WONDERFUL OKAY 😤

Anyway idk what else to say cus my brain is just a big ol’ keyboard smash atm 😔 im so excited for what comes next (MORE MAGE MINHO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and now I honestly feel inspired to go revisit my wips and finish writing so sdfhgjsdf thank you :P

This was overall an amazing wonderful exciting installment of the series thank you for blessing us, kat 🤲🏻🤍

☾⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: evening star ; two *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

⋆*･ﾟ story preview. ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:

pairing(s): knight!chan x princess!reader, mage!minho x princess!reader featuring: prince!hyunjin and others. story summary: you were soon to be married to a well liked and nobel prince from one of the wealthiest kingdoms. however, when the engagement ball takes a turn for the worst, you’re to try and reclaim your kingdom with the help of your knight and best friend chan, as well as the mage who you have a secret history with.

⋆*･ﾟ part two ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:

wordcount: 13.9k chapter warnings: blades, mild violence, some injuries note that these warnings are specific to this chapter. if you read something you think should be tagged, please send me a message/ask. a/n: hihi! sorry for the long wait but she's here!! i did have to repost this for reasons which i won't get into, but anyhow. happy reading! taglist: @kpop--etc / @freckled-felixlee / @foivetimesacharm / @tremendousminyoongi / @wearethethunderousones / @chrisishungry100397 / @freckledquokka / @starrylino / @soulssung / @scarsnfevers / @sahazzy / @djeniryuu // unable to tag some :(( --- m.list | one | two | tbc...

It's cold.

That's all you can seem to think about as you slowly come to, the heaviness in your head tempting you to keep your eyes shut. Your ears are ringing dully, and your limbs feel heavy, the way they had years ago when you had first tried to swing Chan’s sword.

The memory blurs in your brain as you try to push yourself up. Your shoulder is killing you - you must have fallen asleep with your arm at a strange angle, but for how long? How long had you been on the staircase for your shoulder to hurt like this? There was nothing to indicate the passage of time that had passed, though the moon was viewable through a small cutout in the staircase. It shown down through the gap, cold moonlight casting an eerie blue glow over you

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Repeat.

As the ringing in your ears start to die down, an unsettling feeling overcomes you. It was quiet. Too quiet. There were no footsteps, no distant chatter or sounds of the quartet playing. There didn’t even seem to be any nightlife - the sounds of crickets and owls that you were positive almost always accompanied the night were no where to be heard. Had it always been this quiet?

As if the world was desperate to prove you wrong, the sound of clattering footsteps makes its way to your ears from below. There was the familiar footfall of the palace servants - more rushed and skitterish than normal, but the sound of their shoes on stone was one you had grown up with.

And then there’s the heavy sound of boots, creating a dull thud with every step.

“To the ballroom! Now!”

It was an unfamiliar, gravelly voice - none of the guards you knew sounded like that. None of them sounded that demanding. As the steps come nearer, you can make out panicked whispers and muffled crying.

Pushing yourself up, forcing your weak legs to hold you up, you scramble up the staircase, away from the noise. With each forced movement, whatever power had fatigued you seems to wash away.

Some part of you - the part that had grown up on adventure stories and fairy tails of princes saving princesses - wanted to run down and help whoever was crying. But you knew that wasn’t the smartest of ideas - and the castle staff, knowing their kind hearts, would tearfully scold you for putting yourself in danger for them.

The sound of your shoes on the stone stairs reverberates in your ear. Kicking them off, you continue barefooted up the staircase.

It was a good idea - not only were your steps quieter, but the cold floor beneath you was grounding. It shocked the drowsiness out of your system, heightened your senses.

And thank god for that, fpr had you continued on with your shoes, you may not have noticed the voices from the second floor until it was too late.

“Find her! She can’t have disappeared into thin air!”

Were they talking about you? So whatever had happened had been to target you?

The thought makes your blood run cold, a sudden wave of dizziness hitting you. To your knowledge, you had never been made the sole target for anything, and all the drills and procedures that you had been taught- they all revolved around someone escorting you away, someone protecting you.

But right now? You were alone, unsure who the enemy was and had no way to contact the only person you trusted. You didn’t even know where he was.

Your mind jumps to your mother - where was she? Was she alright? The last time you had seen her, she’d been in the ballroom. There had been plenty of guards in the ballroom. Hopefully, she was alright.

“Have you checked her room?” A new voice - familiar, but not enough that you can put a face to it in your panic.

“Yes, sir. She isn’t there.”

You wait, holding your breath and pushing yourself flat against the curved wall of the staircase as you wait for the men to move away - anywhere but down the staircase. It seemed an eternity before the one in charge replies.

“Fine. Go find some men and comb through the forest. If she somehow escaped, she can’t have gone far. Not in heels and a ball gown.”

“Yes, sir!”

Hearing their footsteps fade, you take the last few steps up to the top. To leave the temporary sanctuary offered by the darkness of the staircase seems like leaving the only safe haven you know, but you also know that almost nothing was ever permanent - stories of heroes could be immortalised by ink and tongue, but things like safety were only temporary.

Your bare feet pad across the cold floor, the lack of echo each time your feet hit the ground alien to you.

It was tiring and absolutely terrifying to look over your shoulder every few steps - what if, in that split second, someone appears in front of you? Or what if you look back, and someone is there? You weren't sure who the men were, who they worked for (if anyone at all), nor were you sure what they wanted.

Despite there having been men above and below the staircase, you manage to make your way down the hall without being spotted. When the door to your bedroom finally comes into view, the adrenaline increases in your veins - this was it, this was the last sprint. As soon as you're in, you can lock the door and then figure out your next move.

Taking a deep breath, you set off on a run to the door, feet falling hard against the ground.

Just as you reach the door, the sound of footsteps from down the hall reach you. You start fumbling the door handle, hands suddenly uncooperative and breath erratic and heart beating in your ears and the footsteps are speeding up, getting closer, closer, closer-

The door opens, and you barely manage to push it shut behind you as you stumble in. Spinning around, you throw yourself back against it, fingers struggling to lock the door based off of muscle memory.

You can hear the lock slide home, the click calming your nerves ever so slightly.

Finally, you were safe once again, your room providing temporary solace. And familiar, it could have been, had your room not look like it'd been torn apart.

The blankets on your bed had been pulled off, and the wardrobe doors thrown open. Closet doors had also been opened, and you could see the gaps in your clothes where someone had pushed them apart. And at the center of your room - the flowers you had been gifted earlier in the day, spilling over the edge of the table, the vase knocked over.

Whoever had come looking for you had really looked through everything, you thought, face warming despite all. But it should be the last thing on your mind, you chide yourself. There were more important matters at stake - like your life, and whatever on earth was going on.

Running to your open wardrobe, you rummage through the mess that had been left behind for something to change into, grabbing at the darkest thing you could find - a dark, velvet dress. You quickly undress, letting the stained tulle gown fall and bunch around your feet. Stepping out and kicking it aside ungracefully, you struggle to pull the velvet dress on while simultaneously digging around for something that wasn’t heels - it takes longer than you had thought to locate some riding boots. You crouch down, pulling at the laces.

How long would it be before someone was going to return to check your room? If you were still here, what would happen? Could you fight them off by yourself? ...No, probably not. You might be able to fling a few measly knives, but you had never been in combat of nay kind. If anyone returned, if anyone found you, you’d be helpless.

And then what? Would they take you to the ballroom, where it seemed they were gathering everyone, or would they lock you in the dungeon? Or would they ki-

Like a deer who had heard a twig snap, your body freezes when you hear your door rattle. Every joint in your body feels like it’s been locked in place, and your breath unable to leave your lungs. Had you overthought this all and imagined up the door rattling? Or was someone really outside, trying to get in?

It rattles again, a catalyst for movement as you crawl to your bed - an unsightly scene for a royal, but you couldn’t care less - and reach under the bedskirts. Your hand grasps at nothing until finally your fingers wrap around the string of the drawstring bag you had handed Chan earlier that morning. Pulling it out, you could hear the metal daggers sliding against one another, the harshness of the sound amplified against the stone even through the fabric of the bag.

Click.

Your breath is caught in your throat, trying so hard to force its way out that you feel like you’re about to puke. The drawstring bag seems to be stitched shut, your fingers prying helplessly at the string and the material.

Over your raging heart, you can hear the door shut softly.

Someone was in your room.

Hands shaking and sweating, you finally manage to tug the bag open, and you pull it wide, not caring for what noise it made - if someone was in your room, they were bound to find you anyways - and you reach inside, hands sliding against cold metal that sends shocks up your your arm.

Like some twisted nightmare, all you can see is a pair of black boots before you feel yourself being pushed over onto your back, the stranger putting his weight onto you and pinning your hands above your head with one hand, the other covering your mouth.

Eyes squeezed shut, you thrash around, kicking and twisting, yells muffled despite all your effort. The grip around your wrist was secure, preventing you from even twisting your hand around and nicking the person’s hand with the small dagger you had tried to hard to retrieve.

“Shut- Shut up, y/n, it’s me-”

Your body stills at the all too familiar voice. Eyes snapping open, You find Chan leaning over you, face flushed and eyes wide. He was panting, as if overpowering you had taken all the strength from him.

He releases your wrists, bringing a finger to his lips. Be quiet.

When you nod in response, he lifts his other hand from your mouth.

Without another thought in mind, you reach up and pull him down on top of you, hugging him tight despite your shaking limbs and burying your face into his shoulder. He smelled of the forest at night, the smell of earth and wood mixing with sweat and Chan.

“Chan, I thought you were someone else-”

Your breath rushes out, words barely squeezing past the sob in your throat.

Seeing Chan’s face made you want to cry; you wanted to be held, to be cradled in his arms and have him whisper words of comfort in your ear, for him to stroke your hair and tell you hey, everything’s alright, this is all just a bad nightmare and you’ll wake up soon.

He does stroke your hair - you feel his hand come under you, holding your head to the crook of his neck. He pats your head, hand running over your hair rhythmically until the adrenaline in your veins dissipates.

The smell of forest and night and Chan, the feeling of fabric between your nails and your palm, the sensation of being held by someone safe - it grounded you, each rattling breath shaking out the fear from your mind.

Slowly, your hands open and release his shirt. Even with your arms loose around his torso, Chan continues to hold you, and then you feel it, adrenaline leaving the room for your senses to recover.

His arms around you are strong - you’ve always known that he was strong - but they’re tense, as if he was restraining himself from holding you any tighter than he already was. You can hear his breaths, forcibly steady and controlled, and his hands are shaking against your hair as he calms you down, leaving an onlooker to wonder who it really was that needed the comfort.

He gulps, and you think he’s about to say something, but he pulls back. Still on top of you, he looks down, his bangs hanging and brushing against your forehead. He seems to be scanning your eyes, your face, for something that you couldn’t quite figure out. Injuries, perhaps? Or was he trying to see if you were still scared?

With each passing second, you can see his eyes soften. Simply looking at you, it seems, was enough to ground Chan.

“Did- Did you lock the door?” you break the silence after a while, and Chan blinks rapidly.

As if suddenly remembering that he was straddling your hips and leaning over you, he throws himself to the side, rolling into a kneeling position. He nods minutely, glancing across the room to the door. Though it stands silently, though you can't help noticing the feeling of impending doom it seems to radiate.

You push yourself up from the floor, retrieving the dagger you had discarded upon recognising Chan. The metal is unnervingly cold against the palm of your hand, and you quickly drop it back into the bag.

"What happened?"

Chan is across the room, peering out one of the two windows in your room. His eyes flick to you, and quickly back out the window when he catches you staring at him.

You shake your head, still trying to piece it all together yourself. "I don't- I don't know. I was going back to my room-"

"Why?"

"To change my dress - There was an accident-"

"Accident?"

"Yes, I knocked into someone- No, they knocked into me- Oh, I can't remember, but my dress got stained, so I was told to go back to my room and wait for a new dress. I was- I was on my way to my room, and then everything started getting all... weird, and it was like the castle was moving - I couldn’t - I couldn’t walk fast enough, and I was scared, and the torches kept moving and-" It was all mixed up in your brain. You could picture it all happening, could see yourself talking to the maid, could see the hallway, the fire and dancing shadows on the wall-

"Breathe, your highness. You're safe right now. I'm here." Chan had, at some point, made his way over to you. He had his hands on your shoulder, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. "Now, have you been in your room all this time?"

“I-” shuddering breath in, shuddering breath out. “No. I only made it to the stairs before I... before I fell asleep.”

Once you had calmed down, Chan starts the questioning. What do you remember seeing? How long were you asleep? What did you hear? You had expected this to happen, and tried to recall all the details.

The story, though short, slowly unravels, and Chan shares his side too. He had been making his rounds, ensuring everyone was stationed where they were supposed to be when he noticed the change in the atmosphere - everything had gone quiet. He’d found one of his men on the ground - unwounded, but asleep, and Chan couldn’t wake him up. He would have kept trying, but then he saw the group of men approaching the castle.

“There were too many for me to try and beat. And I didn’t know how many more there were, and it was just- there were too many risks.” Chan had regret painted all over his face. You knew how much it must have hurt him to walk past his men, all on the ground, and be able to do nothing to help them. “But they said it had worked. And I don’t know what it is, but from the looks of it...”

“Magic.”

The word hangs in the air, a dark cloud that could bring anything from a light shower to a thunderous storm. No one really knew what the nature of magic was - after so many years of separation between the magical and non-magical, there was little interest in educating the non-magic folk of what magic really was. Magic was wild, something you nor Chan could fully comprehend.

“What I don’t understand,” Chan starts, pacing around the room, “Is why you were the only one who woke up. I mean - I assume I was outside of the spell’s perimeter, but you, your highness... Everyone was asleep, when I made my way here. No matter how hard I tried to wake them, no one would open their eyes. They were all breathing, though.” A reassurance, for himself or for you, no one knows.

You had an idea about why you were awake. A voice, a memory, a boy from long ago. You were sure he was connected to this somehow, that he had somehow tried to protect you - he had told you to run, had he not? That had to have been his voice.

But you knew that mentioning him to Chan right now wouldn’t be the best of ideas. Chan - always protecting you, always ready to cut down anything that could be a risk to you - was already sure magic was the root of whatever trouble you were now in, and to tell him that the reason you woke up was most likely because of someone’s magic?

No; Chan wouldn’t just be pointing fingers - he’d be pointing a sword at whoever’s name you let slip.

So instead, you shake your head. “But what now? We can’t stay here and wait the spell out,” you reason. “Besides, I heard the men moving everyone to the ballroom. We- We can’t even stay here.”

The realisation settles in your mind, a cold blanket that seemed to freeze you in place.

You had… never spent a night outside of the castle before. Chan had, of course, but he had been out with people who were able to protect themselves, able to take care of themselves.

But what were you, if not a princess who had grown up sheltered by the castle? And sure, you theoretically knew your way around a blade, but you could barely do more than hit within two meters of your target.

"...And I know we don't have time, but we'll figure this out, okay?"

You would be nothing more than a burden on Chan; extra baggage that he had to carry and take care of, whether he wanted to or not.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you or our kingdom. I promise."

Sometimes, you simply wished for a life free of the responsibilities you and Chan had.

"Your highness?"

It was hard to shake the thoughts from your head, though you tried - too much was at stake right now for you to get lost in your own shortcomings.

"Y/n," comes Chan's voice, closer and softer than it had been a moment ago, drawing you away from all the possibilities of the past, present and future. "I know this is overwhelming, but I need you here with me, okay?"

He raises a hand, palm cupping your cheek and thumb swiping under your eye - had you been crying? You hadn't even realised.

"I'm here," you tell him, and despite your voice betraying you, you really were present. Wiping away at your tears, you take a deep breath. "I'm here," you say again, more confidently this time.

"Good. Now,” Chan takes a breath that seems to rattle his body as much as you felt rattled. “Go grab that dagger from above your bed."

It takes a moment for your feet to move; once they do, it was like everything was being sped up.

You had to get up on the bed to reach the dagger. You go to step on your pillows, almost falling as they move under your weight, and kick them out of the way. They fall onto the floor with light thumps, and you reach up for the dagger.

“What about the prince?” You ask as you unhitch the blade from where it was mounted. The light catches on the star etched at the hilt, flashing as you move off the bed and back to Chan. “Him and his men aren’t familiar enough with the castle to-”

“With all due respect, my only responsibility right now is you,” Chan replies. He isn’t cold or dismissive, but his tone tells you he wasn’t going to compromise your safety for anyone else. “There are too many unknowns right now for us to try and find him.”

He’s standing by your window, peering out of it from the side. You sneak a glance out, curious as to what he was watching.

Nothing. He was watching nothing.

All was still outside your window, which overlooked the back of the castle. The forest was dimly lit by the moon, though you could see the shadow of clouds inching closer and closer. The only thing that seemed to move - even the trees seemed like they were still, unmoving against the wind that moved the clouds.

“Are we… Are we going?”

He nods silently, solemnly, before turning on his heels with what seems to you like newfound determination. Had he been thinking all this time? Trying to come up with a plan?

Well, you’d probably know had you not been so caught up in your thoughts before.

“Now listen, your highness.” Chan is busy rummaging through your bag of knives as he talks. “It’s just the two of us, so I should be able to fight should anyone come at us. But in the case that someone gets to you, you use the dagger, all right? And if you don’t have your dagger, use your body. Fists, elbows, knees. Connect with the throat, with the eyes. You might not be strong enough to faze an armoured person with a hit to the torso."

You nod, repeating the words in your head. Dagger, fists and elbows, throat and eyes.

“These will be too loud if we’re to carry them around, and we don’t have any harnesses on us.” He balls the bag up, sliding it and the daggers across the floor and back under your bed. He turns to you next, hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes with a fierceness that almost shakes you. “If we get separated, you run into the forest, okay? You aim for the forest, and get as far in as you can. I’ll find you.”

Brows furrowing, you shake your head. “You- You say that like I’d leave you behind.”

“You have to, if I get caught- If I’m fighting someone. If you have the chance to run, you run, okay?”

You continue to stare at him, at Chan, who had been by your side all your life, who was asking you to leave him behind if the situation called for it.

“Promise me, your highness. If I tell you to go, you go, okay?”

He’s looking at you with such seriousness, with so much will and determination and need for you to to promise. And, were you to look closer, look longer, you’d see the fear in his eyes.

What was it that he knew, that he had thought about that you hadn’t quite comprehended about the situation yet? Surely it wasn’t so bad that Chan would have to… sacrifice himself, right?

“Y/n, I need to know you’ll be safe if I-”

“I promise.” The words manage their way up and out your mouth, leaving a vile taste behind. It was both a truth, and a lie. I promise I’ll be safe. I won’t leave you behind.

—

The plan had seemed simple when Chan had talked you through it, and perhaps it was naive of you to take his words at face value. You definitely thought so now, as you almost run into Chan for the third time as he stops abruptly at a corner.

Ahead, you can hear the sounds of voices - not hushed, but far enough that you can't make out any of the words. They slowly grow louder, louder, footsteps drowing out the words, and then all the sounds fade out all together.

“Okay, let's go.”

After a moment of silence, Chan moves again. You follow closely behind, glancing back every few seconds to make sure that no one had walked around the corner.

You were near a staircase, you knew. Another small spiraling one, not unlike the one you had fallen asleep upon.

Chan stops before the entrance. He pokes his head in, cocks his head slightly to the side - you wait, heart beating in your ears until Chan gives the all clear.

The pair of you descend the stairs, the cold entrapped in the small, stone-walled space sending shivers down your spines. You spare but the smallest thought to curse yourself silently for forgetting to bring coats - but this wasn’t a planned outing, really. Who had the luxury of time to remember coats?

As yellow torchlight can be seen reflected on the walls of the staircase, Chan turns his head to speak to you in a hushed voice.

“Once we exit the staircase, we’ll head straight for the back door. Once outside, head straight for the forest. If we get separated, meet near the clearing where you practice-”

Chan disappears from your sight, thrown to the left with a grunt of pain.

“Chan!”

You quickly descend the last few steps, turning to find Chan on the floor, an arm over his head protectively. As you go to take a step towards him, mind gone in your panic to see if he’s alright, your feet leave the ground.

“Let- Let go of me!”

The person behind you has a hand around each wrist, pushing your arms against your chest as they lift you off your feet. You’re kicking and yelling, the dagger in your hand useless with what little range of motion you have.

As if you were but a pillow, the person - a man, you guessed, from the grunts in your ear and the thick, muscular arms around you, - carries you over closer to Chan.

“It wouldn’t do his highness any good to leave someone so devoted to the princess alive-”

You freeze as dread feels your veins, your mind, every part of your body, filling you in a way that seemed to offset your balance.

His highness? He couldn’t mean- no-

The man moves you to the side, jerking motion pulling a cry from you. He pulls his leg back, prepares to kick Chan. You shut your eyes tight as you can, turning your head away - to see Chan in pain right now, to see him be hurt, would crush your spirit.

“Don’t worry, some of your buddies will be joining you soon,” the man says, before bringing his leg forward and-

A sharp curse is yelled into your ear before you feel yourself fall, eyes staying shut until you feel the body behind - no, beneath you, make impact with the ground.

The man’s arms loosen around you just enough for you to pull an arm free. The dagger, held so tight in your hand that you feel like it’s hilt would be imprinted into your palm, swings behind you blindly. There’s a shout of pain before the tip skids along the stone ground.

Whatever damage you had done was enough of a surprise for the man to release you.

You roll off of him, being sure to keep the blade of the dagger away from you, and scramble to your feet. Eyes wide, you take in the scene before you.

Chan, still on the ground, was pulling the man towards him by the foot; had he stayed on the floor on purpose to pull the perpetrator down with him?

“Chan-”

“Go, y/n!

You stare in horror as the man, getting dragged slowly but surely towards Chan, starts to come back to his senses and recover from the initial shock of the fall. Chan, while not lacking in the muscle department, looked like he would be done for if he took another few hits.

And yet he wanted you to leave him.

It was his job, you knew, but still-

“I’ll be right behind you! Just go!” Chan yells, half frantic and half commanding, eyes jumping haphazardly between you and the slowly awakening man. “You promised!”

You had, and yet you had also promised yourself you wouldn’t abandon him. But what use were you if you stayed?

Chan wouldn’t be able to use his sword, not at that close a distance. You knew enough about battle to know that. So you do the only thing you can for him in that moment.

“Here!”

Before Chan could even look at you, you slide the dagger in your hand towards him, hilt first. It glides across the ground, metal against stone filling your ears, and as it passes the man, a brief image of him grabbing it and diving forward at Chan flashes in your mind.

But he doesn’t grab for it, and the dagger comes to a stop at Chan’s knees. He looks at it in shock, confusion, then back at you and nods.

Now, go, his eyes seem to say.

A strange calmness had settled in Chan’s face, as if he had come to some final decision, had accepted something.

A pit of newfound discomfort makes its home in your stomach, but you do, this time. You go slowly at first, one step back, two, and then you turn your back and run.

You can hear grunts and yells as you run away from Chan and the other man. You can hear him yelling to let anyone nearby know that the princess was getting away, but you don’t turn back to see if anyone’s following you. Part of you feared you would lose your footing if you did, the harsh sounds of your running steps a driver to keep you going, and the other feared the potential scene you had left behind.

It was awfully difficult to run in the velvet dress. Though no where near the heaviest dress you had worn, the way the skirt’s layers moved against your legs seemed to act like a barrier. You fought on, pulling it up to free your ankles of the resistance. The echoes of your steps fill your ears, heart beating against your chest, in your ears, as the wooden door you had come through this morning finally becomes visible. As if in response to your near success, you can hear the sounds of more men coming - the clunking of armour, of swords being unsheathed, of incoherent orders being yelled.

You push the door, the velvet of the dress catching on the old wooden door; though reinforced with iron bars, the door itself had stood sturdy for as long as you can remember, and though well maintained, time had brought forth a few chips. It stood strong, even now, and your face scrunches up in effort - had it always been this heavy? - until finally, finally it groans open.

Cold night air slips through the gap, drying your eyes and piercing your already pained lungs further. You step out, one foot, then the other, and the door slams shut behind you.

The vast silence that greets you is deafening.

Despite the breeze that had slipped through the door, the air was still. Lack of wind didn’t make you any less cold, and you feel a shiver run through your body as you scan the horizon.

The forest behind the castle seemed frozen in place, and had it not been for the eerie way the clouds floated above the trees, you’d have no trouble believing someone had stopped time in its place.

Draped in the blues and purples of night, the stone stairs that lead down the east side of the castle and to the stream that separated the castle grounds from the forest looked colder than ever. You had fallen on them once when you were younger, the cold biting into your palms when you had gone to brace yourself. To fall again now might mean more than just scratched up hands and knees.

You hands fist at your sides when you feel the unnerving thoughts fill your mind. Into the forest, Chan had said. As far in as you can go, and he’ll find you.

He’ll find you. He would always find you, unless-

You take a deep, bone-rattling breath in and let the pain of cold air in your nose ground you. Pulling your skirts up once more, you make your way down the stairs.

Steady but fast, you descend the stairs. Each step reverberates through your body, the sound of your own breathing in your ears.

You didn’t dare to concentrate on anything other than placing one foot before the other and not missing a step - a tumble would be detrimental to everything, would put you at risk, would make Chan’s sac- would mean that Chan had stayed behind to fight for nothing.

Your boots make contact with grass, the soft surface of the new ground unsettling to your legs. One step, two, a glance behind. The door stood dark and unmoving - had the men not seen you leave it, or were they occupied elsewhere?

It mattered not - you take a deep gulp, cold air filling your throat, your lungs, before you start running towards the stream. Just past there, and you would be at the forest. While you had yet to explore the entire forest, you knew most of it, and you were certain that at the very least, you knew it better than the men who were attacking the castle.

The men who were attacking the castle… His highness, the man had said.

You were in denial, you knew, but there was only one person that you were aware of that held that title.

Your throat seemed to close up at the thought - the prince had been nothing but kind to you and your servants, had done nothing but try to get to know your land better… and it all could have been an act.

Yet some part of you wanted to believe he was better than that - better than someone who acted kind and gentle, who spoke fondly of their men, their friends, just to sympathise and get on your good side. But he had said it himself, no? That with the lives of their people in their hands, there are things that royals need to sacrifice?

The maelstrom of thoughts is pushed from your head when your feet meet new ground once again. The stream is shallow and unmoving, and yet dragging your feet through the water seemed to require a great deal more energy than ever before. It’s cold, the width from one side to the other large enough that despite your boots, your feet seem numb by the time you reach the other side. Your skirt, though you had held it as high as you could manage, had been caught by the river in the crossing and now seemed to drag behind you as you trudge through the last stretch of land to the forest.

And just in time.

Shouts from the castle reach your ears as you step between the trees, and you turn to see silhouettes of men, flames from their torches lighting up the sides of their face. Too far away for you to make out if the three of them were your men or not, yet close enough that they could see you should they descend the stairs.

So you push aside the small slimmer of hope that these were Chan’s men and scurry into the forest.

It was dark, twigs and leaves on the ground catching on your dress as you make your way in, and yet you found an odd comfort in the shadows of the trees. If the people chasing you were in fact from another land - you refused to even think that they might be your people - then being in the forest that you had explored since you were young would, theoretically, put you at an advantage. You might not know the entire forest inside and out, but you knew it well enough that you were confident you would be able to evade the pursuers.

At first, you follow the path you normally take when you go off in the early mornings to practice your knife throwing. Down between the two trees, perfectly lined up with each other, past the boulder that Chan had once chased you around - Chan- no, don’t get distracted - and down the steady slope, the well-trekked path obvious for it lacked foliage and branches in the way.

It was obvious.

So without a second thought, you turn to your right and dash madly in between the trees, losing yourself in their shadows.

No one had really ever travelled off the path, especially not this close to the castle grounds. The ground was far more uneven than the path before, sticks catching on your skirt, hitting the leather of your riding boots - you could feel the small thumps. Even your sleeves, though not wide, caught on the lower branches as you tried to push them out of the way. There was little to light your path but whatever moonlight managed to slip past the trees, highlighting the odd patch of forest ground. Leaves and rocks, roots and fallen branches. You tried to avoid what you could, tried your best to keep your footing, but it wasn’t long before you tripped.

Hands met the ground and a jarring pain shoots up your left arm. You try to stop the cry of pain from escaping your lips, your mouth opening in pained silence as your left hand gives way and you fall onto your side.

The ground is rough through the velvet of the dress, rocks digging into your shoulder as you cradle your arm to your chest. You give yourself only a second, two, to collect yourself. Your wrist hurt, the initial sharp pain dulling down to a strong throb that made you feel like your veins were about to burst with each pulse.

You push yourself up, forcing your legs to carry you further across the forest.

It feels an age before you finally come to a stop, hand against a tree to support yourself as laboured breathing hurts your chest, your head almost woozy from the adrenaline, the exhaustion, the panic and the confusion and the fact that you just didn’t know what was going on and if Chan was even-

Snap.

You force yourself to hold you breath mid-inhale, force your muscles to freeze and your mind to quiet down and your ears to listen.

Snap. Snap.

it wasn’t coming from directly behind you. You gulp, turning your head to your right, squinting against the darkness in some hope it would make your vision clearer.

There’s someone there, and even silhouetted from a distance, you can tell they’re in bad shape - one hand held a sword, the other their side, and with each step forward, a limp becomes more noticeable.

They raise their sword hand in greeting and it takes you a second to process.

Chan*.***

You trip in your haste to get to him, barely managing to regain your footing before your next step propels you forward. You’re stumbling across the ground and you feel the twigs get caught in your skirt, feel your feet kick them out of the way, but you don’t bother to hold your skirt up. The pain in your arm was holding you back from doing so, yes, but the sheer fact that Chan was alright and was here and that you’d found each other - that fact was enough for you to push forward.

You seem to reach him before he does you, your eyes drawing instantly to his left side - a hand was holding a piece of fabric to his side, and as your eyes scan him, you notice he had only one sleeve; he’d torn one off, using it as temporary gauze to stop what you can only imagine to be bleeding. The sword was held loosely in one hand, and to his thigh, your dagger was strapped.

“You’re a mess,” you whisper into the night, heart aching. Your fingers reach out, first for the wound at his side, then to cup his face, but they move ever so minutely that when you stop yourself - you’re a princess, damn it, and Chan was your knight; such acts weren’t befitting of your positions at all - Chan doesn’t even realise you had moved at all.

He chuckles, despite his appearance. Chan drops his sword and lifts his hand to your head, pulling something from your hear and flicking it away. “You’re one to talk.”

You pout, suddenly self conscious and try to clean off whatever dirt had clung to your dress. “Well, you could hardly expect me to look presentable, given the situation.”

“Ah.” Chan grimaces, as if suddenly reminded of the present. “The situation. We- We should get going, deeper into the forest and find somewhere to hide for the mean time.”

“Will you be okay? How bad is the wound?”

He nods, face set in a smile. “It’s nothing life threatening - just a graze,” he comments. “Just a bit of blood-”

He’s cut off as you reach for the dagger strapped to his leg.

“What are you-”

Reaching for the hem of your skirt, you drag the blade across the fabric. It rips with a satisfying sound. Dropping the dagger onto the forest floor, you continue to tear the fabric from the bottom of your dress. Your face burns - standing in front of Chan with your skirt pulled almost to your waist to tear the fabric… you somehow still had the mind to feel self-conscious.

“You can’t just hold that the entire time,” you explain with a final tug to the skirt. It falls back around your legs, higher than before. With a gulp and furiously burning ears, you wrap your arms around Chan’s torso, pulling the fabric around his waist twice before securing it with a knot. “There. Now your hands are free.”

Standing back, you smile at your work.

“Okay, let’s go,” you say and turn.

Though you were ready to move, Chan doesn’t budge. Your muscles relax in confusion, head cocking in question.

His eyes are on you. They’re dark, shadowed by his features, silhouetted by however much moonlight manages to trespass the trees, but you can feel his gaze.

“You’re not…” He gulps, taking in a shuddering breath that causes him to wince, and slowly exhales. “You’re not injured, are you?”

Eyes softening, you feel the urge to cup his cheek again. You shake your head gently. The pain in your arm was easing - it was nothing worth him fretting over.

But how could he, bleeding as he was, still be concerned for your wellbeing?

“I’m fine.” A gentle smile tugs at your lips, and you eye the makeshift bandage around his torso. “Start worrying about yourself more.”

Chan's concern falters and he scoffs. “It's my job to worry about you, your highness.”

He was right, you knew. It was his job, had been his job for as long as you could remember.

“We should get moving, though.” Chan breaks the silence that had fallen between the two of you. “If I were in their shoes, it won’t be along until I either loop back around or send out a full search party to cover the entire forest.”

“So what do we do?”

Your question is met with silence. Chan’s eyes had fixated on a spot on the ground, though you knew he wasn’t really looking at the ground. He had zoned out, the way he does when he gets lost in his thoughts.

Giving him his moment to think, you collect the dagger from the ground. It’s clean, void of any violence it may have taken part in. The blade shone in the night, edges sharp and though cold, the weight of it in your hand brings you an odd sense of comfort.

It reminded you of a time in your childhood when you’d carried an identical blade through these woods.

“I think I know where we can go.” It’s a rush of words as the idea fills your mind, as your brain tries to figure out the kinks in your underdeveloped plan. “He would help us. I know he would.”

An incredulous look passes Chan’s face, so theatrical and comedic that you almost burst out laughing despite the situation.

“’He’? Who is ‘he’?” Chan, so perplexed by the fact that you were acquainted with a boy outside the castle, is frozen in place. “Do I know this person? Why- How do you-” He clears his throat, composes himself, and tries to regain neutrality on his face. “I apologise, princess, but I… have been with you for years, have barely left your side when outside the castle walls… so please forgive my confusion at the moment.”

Though you’d not seen him since that night long ago, you knew he was here. Knew he had stayed in your kingdom, and knew he resided on the outskirts of the town. Any and all businesses who dealt in or with magic were to send official notice to the castle regarding the purpose of their business. Along with a variety of other contracts, it was a method through which the use of magic could be indirectly monitored. The practice had been picked up by all the kingdoms, and any one found to profit off of their magic outside of what they had agreed to would be punished.

You had spied Minho’s name, once, in one of the books that kept such details. An address had been scrawled next to it, and though you had read it out of interest, you had never expected to remember it, especially in a situation like this.

But a mage, you realise, would be the last person Chan would turn to. And how were you to explain how you knew him? How were you to explain why he would help you, without having Chan go off at you about how stupid your decisions had been?

So instead, you take in a slow, deep breath. Tilting your head back to look up at the moon concealed by trees, you exhale. It shone bright, a beautiful sight in the treacherous night.

“Do you trust me, Chan?”

He doesn’t miss a beat, voice filled with absolute certainty as he crosses an arm over his chest and lowers his head into a bow.

“With my life, my princess.”

You and Chan were fortunate enough to not run into anyone as you made your way around the castle grounds. The adrenaline pushes you, keeps your legs working and your ears on high alert. Many times, he had pushed you against a tree, his arm or even his body pressed against yours at the faintest possibility of running into anyone.

You held your breath in these moments. The proximity at which he held you left little space for you to even inhale as deeply as you needed to calm your breathing, and besides - the sound would be too loud to hear anything over it.

When the trees finally start thinning, your legs are heavy and your lungs feel something akin to having had inhaled a thousand thorns.

The forest ended at the top of the hill. To your right, the gates to the castle, the long road up hidden by the night. Before you, the town lay spread out. The houses clustered, divided at intervals to form the many streets. Lit windows were few, and yet you thought that you could almost, if you tried hard enough, hear the hearty laugh of men at pubs.

“Your highness, are you alright? On the edge of the forest may not be the wisest of places for us to rest, perhaps we should-”

Shaking your head, you gather your skirts once more and lift your head. “No, no rest. I was simply sentimental, for a moment. I apologise - such feelings will do us no good right now.”

An expression of confliction crosses Chan’s face, so brief that when you look at him, he looked impassive.

“So, where does this… this person live? Where are we headed?”

The address tumbles from your lips, pulling from Chan a strained look.

“That’s on the other side of the town-”

“But we’ve few, if any other choices,” you reason. “We can’t possibly return to the castle nor can we try and make it to the next town over with nothing on us. We don’t even have money, Chan.”

“Then the people of the town-”

“Will insist on helping us, I know, but I will not take advantage of their kindness when such a thing could put them in danger.” The words come out with much more force than you had intended, the subtle escalation of your conversation with Chan having taken the better of you.

But Chan is seemingly unaffected by it. He regards you with a thoughtful gaze, eyes dancing with both amusement and respect. “Very well. Across town we shall go, your highness.”

Tonight was a night of many firsts for you. The first time you had ever had to flee your home, the first time your life had ever been in danger, the first time you had ever genuinely feared losing Chan.

The feeling had been so alien to you, so impossible to ever fathom, so unnecessary to even had imagined in the past, that as you walked through the sleeping streets of the town you had grown to love so much, you had to resist holding onto Chan like you had when you were a child. It would be silly now, to hold his hand as you had in the past whilst sneaking around the castle. This wasn’t a game anymore; the consequences of being found by the wrong people wasn’t forced study in the library. It was worse, much worse.

So why not hold his hand? Keep him close, know he’s safe - not that you would be able to do much of the protecting, you knew.

But as it had been in the past - when one was in trouble, so too would be the other.

Your fingers flex at your side now, itching to reach out and hold onto Chan as he peers around the corner to ensure no one was there.

He tenses, the same time the sound of a girl's laughter reaches your ear. Footsteps are fast to fade, alongside the quiet murmurs of a man, loud in the soundless night. Lovers, perhaps, heading home together as the night grows old.

A quick gesture of the hands from Chan indicates that it was safe to move. The two of you dart out of the small alley you had been hiding in and enter the town square.

Another first to add to the list; never had you seen the town square bathed in the silver light of the moon, street lamps flickering orange and crossing at the center of the square. Perhaps it was your circumstances, but the emptiness of the town square leaves an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

Chan leads you around the edge, behind empty stalls and shrubbery. Your footsteps echo off the walls of the buildings, playing back into your ears as if to emphasise the emptiness of the town.

“Half way there,” Chan mumbles as he enters a dark alley.

Had that alley always been there? Had any of the roads you’d taken always been there? You knew, realistically speaking, they had been - and yet you could not recall ever having seen them before. Perhaps the street that the bakery had been on, you’d seen before - but the alley that smelt of old blood and meat, the alley that had crates of empty glass bottles stacked by the door. How did Chan know of these roads, of these many paths? Had he memorised the map of the town, the many streets that had never existed to you before now?

It was his job, you supposed, to know these things. And yet the sheer ability to know his way across the town amazed you. Had he ever walked these roads before, or was he simply relying on his mind’s eye, on the chance of an accurate mental recall of the many maps he’d studied?

The scenery had changed - houses were few now, the paths between buildings more dirt and stone than they were stoned tiles, like they’d been in the town square. As you and Chan make your way down the street, Chan a hand on his sword the whole time, you can’t help but marvel at the contrast present in just this one town. Had you not walked here with your own two feet, you would have believed this to be a whole new place. The town you were familiar with had tiled floors, had flowers blooming on the balconies and children in pinks and blues, greens and purples. Not the browns and creams that hung from laundry lines at the front of the houses in the night.

“Up ahead,” Chan breaths, and your eyes scan the distance.

It wasn’t hard to spot, really. The only lit house in the dark street, windows warm with yellow light. There was a sign hanging by the window, but you couldn’t make out the words - weather had gotten the better of the paint. It swung feebly with a passing breeze.

“I trust you, your highness.” Hushed words leave Chan’s lips, followed by a resigned sigh. “I just hope your own trust isn’t misplaced. If they so much as look like they’re going to hurt you, I’ll-”

“He won’t, Chan.” You place a hand on his arm. After a moment, you feel his muscles relax, and Chan moves towards the lit house.

He… won’t, right? You believed he wouldn’t - The last time you had seen him, he had been afraid. He hadn’t hurt you, though you knew he could have. He had listened to you, and you to him, and he had accepted what little help you could offer. You wanted to believe that people were good - that kindness would be remembered.

And yet, back at the castle, his highness-

“There’s someone inside.” Chan, nearing the lit window, holds a hand out to stop you. “I can’t be sure, but it seems to only be one person.”

It’s him. You swallow nervously.

How had the years changed him? Had they even changed him? Would he recognise you at all?

Chan was right. There was someone in the house, their silhouette faint against the window. They were moving around, though it was near impossible to tell what they were doing.

“Are you sure this is the house, your highness? And if so, are you sure this person can be trusted? We don’t know what will happen in the next few hours-”

“Well, we’ve little other choice.” Your statement is all you manage to get out before you push past Chan’s hand. It was now or never - dawdling by his door wouldn’t change the current situation.

Chan makes a shocked sound of protest as you push past him, but he doesn’t move to stop you - only to follow you, and you’re aware of his hand securing it’s grasp on his sword.

Standing in front of the door, you could make out the sound of running water. You raise a shaking hand, fingers curling uncertainly before you squeeze them into a fist and rap on the door. Three quick knocks, breath caught somewhere in your throat as you wait for a response.

Chan speaks up from behind you, voice urgent. “Your highness, please step back-”

The door swings open abruptly, causing you to flinch back in shock.

The heart is a funny thing, really. How can it hold so many emotions at once?

Looking at Minho after so many years was strange. It was like he hadn't aged at all, and yet he looked like he had matured twice as fast as you. His face, though as angular as it had been that night so long ago, was now more jawline and cheekbones, as opposed to malnourishment.

“Lower your weapon, knight, or else I’ll blast you from my door.”

He speaks with a tired drawl, though you see the way his eyes quint in suspicion.

“Minho, it’s me-”

“Yes, I saw you,” he cuts in, eyes still trained behind you. “Not as flashy as your friend’s sword, unfortunately.”

It’s a cold response, not at all what you had expected, but you turn all the same and glare at Chan.

“I told you he wouldn’t hurt us, so-”

“He just said he would blast me from the door-”

“Because you’re waving a great, big sword around, idiot,” Minho says with a roll of his eyes. He’s leaning against the door, body blocking the rest of his house.

“I’m her highness’ knight,” Chan states defiantly, as if challenging Minho. His gaze lingers on Chan for a second longer before he looks at you - really looks at you.

It feels like ice piercing through you, his eyes reading every thought in your head. He knows why we’re here, a small voice in your head tells you. But how could he possibly know that?

“’Her highness,’ huh.” Minho lets the words sit on his tongue, lets it mull over in his head as he regards you. His gaze falls briefly to the dagger in your hand. “Well, I don’t suppose that after all these years you just decided to spontaneously come by in the middle of the night to see how I’m doing, so it’s probably best I invite you in,” he concludes with a sigh. “Tell your knight to sheath his sword, or it’ll be as existent as his sleeve there.”

“We- We don’t have sheaths on us,” you explain hesitantly. “Or anything, really. Just his sword, and the dagger. Not even any money.”

Minho looks down at you - he was taller than you and held himself with such an air of indifference that you couldn’t bare to maintain eye contact. Were you right to come here at all? To ask for help, and, despite your position, have nothing to offer in return?

A defeated sigh leaves him before he steps aside. “Whatever. Hurry in, then.”

He steps aside and after a moment’s hesitation, you make your way into his house.

It was cozy, unlike the great stone walls of your home. Sure, the library fireplace was warm and comforting, but the sheer size of the castle and all of its many rooms were nothing compared to the small space Minho lived in.

Dried plants hung over the window, each bundle a different kind. The table was laid not with the remnants of a meal well eaten, but with more plants and glass bottles, books opened with feathers marking different sections, and a range of things you barely had time to try and identify before you were ushered further into the house.

A fire blazed low in the corner of the room, opposite a messy looking kitchen. The sink was filled with unwashed dishes and more glass bottles, which you had only ever seen in books before. Few chairs were scattered around the room - wooden chairs that you assumed to belong to the table out front were occupied by books and blankets, and a long, two-person sofa had been turned into a makeshift bed. In the corner between the sofa and the fireplace, two wooden doors lead off into unknown areas of the house.

“Well, do sit down,” Minho says with a wave of his hand. Static seems to fill the air as items move from the chairs to the floor, neatly stacking themselves upon one another. “Having the princess and her royal knight standing about my living room is making me quite… anxious, for lack of a better word.”

You watch in amazement as the blankets fold themselves up.

“You’re a magic user?!” Chan whirls on Minho, eyes wide in shock. There’s an edge of something akin to fear or anger - you can’t quite place it, distracted instead by the way the room accommodates for two more people.

“What, your princess didn’t mention that I’m a mage?” Minho retorts, amusement in his eyes. “Shame. But that seems the least of your problems, if you’re coming to my door at this hour. Now, sit.”

An invisible force maneuvers you and Chan down into the sofa. Chan falls with an indignant sound - was this his first time encountering magic? You’d never talked to Chan about magic, before. Nothing beyond stories of faeries and witches, curses and potions.

“Minho,” you begin, before Chan could say anything to worsen a relationship you were surprised had started off on such bad footing. “We- we need you help. I need your help.”

You meet his eye, and for the first time that night, Minho holds your gaze with a seriousness that felt befitting of the situation. Was he aware, after all, of the situation? You were sure that the voice you had heard earlier that night had been his. But no matter how you tried to rethink the situation, there was nothing you could think of that would explain why he had told you to run.

Perhaps you had imagined it, in your drowsed, sluggish state, but you search his face all the same, for any sign that he had sent you the message, had been aware of the potential danger you had been in.

He turns away, a shrug of his shoulders the only sign that he had heard your request at all.

Minho moves to the sink, and in a surprising act of normalcy, picks of a sponge and turns on the tap. He begins to wash his dishes.

Chan glances towards you - this person who you had believed would help obviously showed no care about whatever predicament you were in.

You fidget nervously at the velvet of your dress. Minho places a soaped up plate in the adjacent sink.

“I was hoping-”

“If you knew where to find me,” he suddenly says, his back still towards you and Chan, “Then you’ll know I run a business. Magical assistance in exchange for payment. And, as I recall, the pair of you are quite penniless at the moment.”

“Her highness is still the royal princess.” Chan sounded like he was speaking in court, stating facts as if to argue their case. His voice was clear, rock solid despite your wavering faith in Minho. “Whilst we may currently be in a difficult situation, rest assured that your assistance, should it be provided and adequate, will be rewarded fittingly.”

Minho doesn’t reply to this. He continues to wash his dishes. In the silence, you look around the living space.

Unlike your own home, the walls of Minho’s house were bare of any intricacies. Simple wood, with no grand photos of family members hanging - though, knowing Minho, you’d be surprised if he even had any. Across the fireplace mantel were jars of what seemed to be dried up herbs, sticks of what you recognised as cinnamon, and- were those egg shells? A strange assortment of things, you mused.

“Your highness,” Chan whispers. He leans in towards you, sofa shifting under him, and raises a hand to cover his mouth. “Perhaps your trust- Apologies. Perhaps we are unwelcomed here. It may be best we leave as soon as possible, if this boy refuses to help us.”

“He’s the same age as us, Chan.” Well, you think he is, anyways. “Please - just give it another minute.”

Despite your hopes, Chan seems to be right. The only thing dissuading you from the belief that Minho wanted nothing to do with your recent events was the fact that he hadn’t blatantly turned you away.

The sound of water eases and shuts off. Minho busies his hands - with what, you couldn’t see.

“Was there trouble? At the palace?”

You’re surprised by his question - so he was willing to help? Or, at the very least, hear you out?

“Yes, how did-”

“What makes you say that?” Chan says, and a jolt ran through you. Never had Chan spoken over you so forcefully before. He doesn’t meet your eyes and instead frowns at the back of the mage’s head.

Minho doesn’t answer immediately. He continues whatever other task he had started, back to you. After a few seconds, he turns and grabs for a tea towel. He leans back against the sink, wiping his hands.

“Well, is it not the most obvious thing to have happened?” With a forced smile at Chan, Minho discards the towel behind him. “Why else would you and the princess be at my door, penniless and on foot, at this hour? If not for trouble at the palace, surely you would have opted for a horse or two, and if you knew I ran a business, surely you would come with some form of payment.”

The points, while well made, seemed to do little to ease whatever suspicion had overcome Chan - it didn’t take much to guess what those suspicions were concerning, and you turn to Chan with a resigned look.

“It took you some time to formulate such an easily deducible answer,” Chan muses aloud.

“Well, then why ask such an obvious question?” Minho retorts and all of a sudden the temperature in the room seems to drop. The air seems to fizz, and a stroke of fear enters your body as he returns Chan’s glare with his own pointed look.

He pushes off of the sink and walks forward.

He doesn’t carry the same angry threat that you’d seen come from Chan when his men were out of line. No glowering, no fists at his side, no long strides to advance upon his opponent. He seems to simply walk across the room instead, his head held high and jaw clenched ever so subtly, never breaking eye contact with Chan. He stops half-way - he doesn’t need to make the full distance. Chan abruptly stands up and makes his own advance.

“Chan, honestly*-***”

“I don’t quite appreciate the way you’re regarding me, knight.” Each of Minho’s words seems to be accentuated by the flicker of the fireplace flame. They’re spoken clearly, carefully - not quite a whisper, but then again, it didn’t take much for him to be heard in the silence. “The implications you’re making, while subtle, are not left unknown to me, human.”

The two of them, knight and mage, are in the middle of Minho’s living space, the tension so high that you didn’t know who to fear for.

“I’ll have you know something, mage*.***” Chan snarls. “I don’t trust you. Not one bit; not at all.” He’s breathing down Minho’s chest, a snarl you’d never seen before turning the face of someone you’d grown up with into someone almost unrecognisable. “I’m only here because her highness believes strongly that you will help us.” He jabs a finger into Minho’s chest, though the latter only raises a brow. “However, it is my job to keep her safe and even if I respect her opinion of others, it does not mean that her and I are of the same mind.”

He’s breathing heavily by the end of it, the tips of his ears red. You had risen from your seat at some point, the waves of unease in your stomach turning turbulent. Your eyes dart back and forth between the two of them.

“And I’ll remind you that it is my house you are standing in and it is my assistance that you are seeking.”

Minho is no where near taller than Chan. The two stand face to face, and yet it was like the mage was looking down at Chan. The scary calm that had taken over him, the careful control of his emotions and his magic - you could feel it in the air, feel the static you had felt earlier, only this was cold. Cold, chilling static, like that of winter waters or thick snowfall.

He doesn’t break eye-contact with Chan. He blinks, he takes steady breaths, he keeps his chin raised, but he doesn’t falter.

After what feels like an age, Chan turns and walks past Minho. You take a step after him, fearful that he was about to leave out the front door, but he simply places himself on one of the vacated stools. He was out of Minho’s point of view, and though the latter was still in his, Chan crossed his arms and closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall.

It seemed impossible for you to exhale fully, much less take a deep breath. You had expected some resistance from Chan when he inevitably found out that Minho was a mage but whatever had happened in the last few minutes was beyond anything you could have imagined.

“Minho, I-” You turn hastily away from Chan and to Minho, who had not moved. He looks at you now with troubled eyes. Gulping, you take in the deepest breath you can manage and exhale through pursed lips. You try again. “Could we perhaps take this elsewhere?”

A tired, resigned smile makes its way to Minho’s face. “Perhaps that would be best.”

It turns out, you discover, that one of the two mysterious doors led out to a garden.

The door shuts quietly behind you as you breathe in the night air. Minho’s garden, while no larger than his living space, seemed to house a variety of plants. Flowers of differing colours, shapes and sizes filled the majority of the space, alongside some recognisable vegetables - tomatoes and lettuce, though few, seemed fresh and ready to harvest. All the plants, you notice, seem to shine in the night. Taking a step closer, you almost let out an exclamation as one, two, three glowing creatures dart in and between the flowers.

“They maintain the garden for me,” Minho says, as if it explained everything. You turn to him, having forgotten for a moment that he was with you. “A marvelous help, they are, especially when I’m away on business.”

He picks up a basket, hanging it off his arm and walks up to a purple flower. You watch as Minho inspects it before pulling a pair of scissors from the basket and cutting the flower off its stem.

“Minho, I wanted to apologise for-”

“There is no need. I don’t seek an apology from you - nor the knight, I might add, before you berate him for his behaviour.” His basket was quickly filling with flowers, though you note there’s no more than two of each kind. “It is not uncommon for me to hear such things, for it is not easy to place your faith in things you do not understand. Though, I confess, such things are less common now. Do you mind?”

He hands you the basket - now filled with so many things that you wouldn’t know where to start if he were to ask you to remove a flower from the lot - and picks up another. This one he begins to fill with produce.

“But he is still my knight, and I ask for your assistance not just for myself but for him as well. Tonight-” You break off, and Minho spares you a glance over the shoulder before he returns to his carrots. “It is perhaps unfair of me to ask you for your help, after all these years,” you finish, an increasing hopelessness somehow making sense of itself in your mind.

A decade, perhaps, it had been since you last saw him. You had every possible means to seek him out after parting, had an abundance of ways you could have assisted him - for you knew, even if he had rejected help the first time, that to do something was better than nothing, and yet you had kept quiet about your encounter. For his own safety, one may have reasoned, but in hindsight it seemed a child’s selfishness was what kept him a secret. Something for you to know, and no one else. Not the maids who tended to you every day, or the queen who asked you what you had done that afternoon, or Chan who was by your side whenever possible.

Minho had returned to stand before you, the second basket full of tomatoes, lettuce, and a range of root vegetables. The hem of his pants were speckled with dirt, and a smudge of it ran over his cheek.

“You saved my life, y/n. I think you underestimate the consequences of our meeting far too much.”

It was like the child you had met so many years ago was back before you, a vulnerability in his eyes that you couldn’t quite understand. You, who had always been sheltered, had always had your safety assured, prioritised, and the child who had been covered in dirt and bruises, twigs sticking out of his hair and so tangled up that you’d had to sit him down and carefully undo all the knots.

The way Minho looked at you now almost scared you - if your request had been not for help, but for his life, you were sure he would have said yes.

Unable to hold the truth in his gaze any longer, you busy yourself with readjusting the basket in your hand, carefully easing the petals away from the rim as to not crush them.

“The last thing I wish to do is to hold that over you, Minho,” you say softly. “It was wrong of me to come to you for help when I fear that asking it of others would endanger their safety. You too are part of this kingdom, and I cannot simply treat you different because of the past.”

“Can’t you?” He sounds wistful, you think, the words almost musing, so soft and quiet that you weren’t sure if they were meant for only your ears, or for no one’s at all.

Then, as if there had been no sentimentality at all, Minho flourishes his hand and the basket of flowers levitates out of your grasp. “I’ll help you - but first, it would seem a good night’s sleep would do you well.”

The door swing opens as Minho nears it, and he gestures for you to enter the house first. The flowers follow you in, Minho bringing up the rear.

Chan, who’d been pacing by the fire, looks up abruptly when he hears you come in. Relief seems to wash over his features, and you give him a strained smile.

“Minho said he’d help us.” You lay a hand on Chan’s arm, and the tension seems to leave his body at the confirmation of your physical presence. “We can rest here for the night, and figure everything out tomorrow.”

“On that note - here, to help you sleep.” A small opaque bottle floats its way to you. “Just light a match, drop in there and leave it in the room. I’m sure the night’s events will leave your mind running when given the chance.”

You take the jar in your hands, feeling its weight as the magic disappears. Peering inside seemed pointless - the opening was just small enough for your finger to fit in; barely enough light could enter the jar for you to see its contents.

“And a salve, for any minor wounds you may have.”

This time, a red jar lands by the sink. It’s even smaller than the bottle, barely the size of your palm. Though Minho doesn’t look at him, you know that he had taken note of the wound at Chan’s side.

“You can take my bed, y/n. The knight can sleep on the floor, or something. I don’t really care.”

“You little-”

Minho ignores Chan, moving to grab a satchel from the table. Your eyes follow him, the way he truly seems to disregard Chan’s presence as he walks past him and towards the front door.

“And you? Where will you sleep, then? I insist you keep your bed-”

“Oh, I won’t be sleeping tonight.” Hand on the doorknob, he turns to you with a glint in his eye. “The moon is full. It’d be a waste to do something as mundane as sleep tonight. I’ll be close by, and there are protective charms on the house. Worry not.”

The door shuts behind him before you or Chan can even protest.

—

Chan’s wound had stopped bleeding. Though he had played it off as a simple graze, you were relieved to see it wasn’t too much of an understatement. The initial redness that surrounded the wound had frozen your mind with fear, but after taking a wet cloth to it, you discovered that it was mostly dried blood that had spread.

The salve Minho had given you smelt resinous, like wood that had been left out in the rain. Your face scrunches up as you scoop a small amount up with your fingers. Setting the jar down next to the chair Chan was sat on, you steady yourself with a hand on his knee and run the salve over his wound. He flinches at the sensation, muscles tensing under your fingers, but keeps his shirt held up.

“You don’t think he’s tricked you into poisoning me, do you?”

You spare a glare at Chan.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you say, though you know he was just trying to ease the tension.

Though Minho hadn’t returned since he’d left, you could still feel Chan’s discomfort with the situation. He too seemed to sense that you wee troubled - you had caught him shooting you anxious glances as you’d prepared to treat his wound.

“You know, he told me not to berate you.” Having finished applying the salve, you push yourself up from the floor and dust your skirts off. Chan avoids your eye, fixating instead on straightening his shirt and picking at the torn fabric under the flickering light of the fireplace. “Just because he says he doesn’t seek an apology, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t get one.”

Chan’s jaw clenches, and he looks up you through furrowed brows. “Are you ordering me to apologise to him?”

Your jaw drops at his words, helpless against the hurt that they bring you. For him to bring status into this, to make it seem like he would rather be anywhere but here - his words from earlier echo in your brain: I’m only here because her highness believes strongly that you will help us.

“Chan, that’s not at all what I-”

“I don’t feel like I’ve anything to apologise for,” he says, voice edged with annoyance. “I don’t trust him. I have spoken my truth - but I won’t interrogate you for yours.” His voice is gentler, resigned. “Though, I admit the mage is right. You should rest, your highness. It has been an eventful night, and you will need your energy for tomorrow.”

It felt wrong, to leave and rest without resolving the tension that had formed between you and Chan. A part of you didn’t understand why he had been so aggressive towards Minho, why he was so against the idea of his help… and yet you knew it was wrong of you to expect Chan to understand your thoughts and feelings when you had given him nothing to help form an understanding of your relationship with Minho. To Chan, you realised, Minho was simply an unknown stranger who possessed the abilities to have aided the night’s chaos.

But it felt wrong to reveal your and Minho’s shared history with Chan. Afterall, it wasn’t only your story to tell.

So you take a deep breath, try to catch Chan’s eye one more time, before murmuring a small goodnight.

Minho’s bedroom, located behind the second of the mysterious doors, was dimly lit by a a candle sitting on the corner of his desk. There was a single, unmade bed next to it, and a set of drawers at the other end of the room. Another door (which you presumed led to the bathroom, for you hadn’t seen one in your time here, and what home had no bathroom?) stood in the corner, next to the drawers. There was a window,

It was a small bedroom, void of anything unnecessary.

Placing the bottle Minho had given you on the table, you search for a match. His desk was covered in books and papers, and it’s not until you brave a small box on his desk that you find the matches. You do as he had instructed - striking one, you watch as the corner you stood in lit orange before dropping it into the bottle.

You had been skeptical that dropping a match into such a small space would work - surely, the fire would be extinguished, right? - but you’re mildly surprised when a soft, sweet scent arises. It reminded you of home, of late nights spend in the library reading stories of knights and princesses, witches and curses. A familiar drowsiness overcomes you.

It doesn’t take long for you to find yourself sliding under Minho’s covers. Your mind spares a moment for you to feel embarrassed at the act of sleeping in not only someone else’s bed, but in a man’s bed, before it lets the exhaustion take over.

This time, you don’t fight the heaviness of your body like you had so many hours ago.

This time, you let it consume you.

---

a/n: hi hi! thank you for reading. comments, throughts, feedback, questions - all of these (and more) are appreciated! if you want to be added to the taglist (or alternatively, removed) please let me know &lt;3