#im still on my bible verse shit

[malfaith]

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD.

[mydahliarose]

Dollhouse of joy 🪽🃏

Pairing: Michael x niiri Michael x demon oc

Trope: forbidden lovers angel x demon

Fandom: what in hell is bad?

Tag: angst with fluff, comfort, hurt, playful teasing, no smut,soft intimacy, doctor and patient roleplay,mentions of my other ocs briefly, wholesome

Synopsis: niiri attempts to pray but hurts herself in the process in doing so to see her worth of becoming an angel. Michael has his paranoia moment aswell so niiri hatches an idea when Michael offers to be alone together she takes him to her domain that's a dollhouse in the form of Michaels most happiest place, his old room.

Nothing but empty silence filled the cathedral at night. Well all accept for niiri's presence, kneeling in the statue of god and his angels surrounding him. Such a rare and unusual sight to see a demon be dedicated to God, because she truly believes she could be an angel in heaven and finally leave demonhood behind her. Oh niiri...god has abandoned his angels wondering where on earth he is, while still retaining there intense devotion for him as they attack and kill devils aswell as the descendants of solomon. There is nothing to do in heaven besides love god to the fullest. You must be truly divine or else a cruel fate shall come if you dare defy. She remembered what Michael said that night in his birthday " are you willing to go through such trials?" Was niiri willing to go through such psychological torture of it all and go as insane as these angels have become? Sure she was already not all the in the head but heavens trials would break her just as its done to her dearest angelica. Oh sweet Michael...

" our father-ngh! w-ho a-rt agh! I-in heaven-s-shit! I can do it..."

Demons cannot say the Bible verse. holy things are considered a weakness for the demons. if they even dare try to finish it the consequences are Burns to blistering the pain is so excruciating it feels as if theyll ash away and die. The doll demon knowing of this contenued on, all it took was repeating Michaels words again and again while her heart raced thinking of him.

" h-hollowed b-be thy name! T-thy kingdom c-come,! T-thy will b-be AH! Done!

She hissed in pain, her bisque doll skin cracking as her flesh is now bare making the burn excruciating, damaging some of her nerves.

"o-on e-earth as it i-is heaven...g-give us this day our... our?" Her body grew weak drastically, she needed to stop or else she will pass out. Shed be lucky if it where the two exorcists who managed to trust her shed get lucky and theyll put her to rest, but if it where another? Shed be done.

"and forgive us... o-our...a-as we forgive... forgive...

"please forgive me father..."

"im sorry i was born imperfect..."

Her body rocking back and forth, already at her limit of her wounds that she would crash headfirst at front. Her body may heal but her fragile mind was another story, this was her attempt to show herself to the skies she was worthy she knew her prayers and she blew it. Or so she believes that herself, or maybe they truly did see her unworthy. An unworthy unclean imperfect demon who shouldn't be allowed to touch the gates to heaven.

She shakingly lifts herself, back into her kneeling position even in defeat there was a spark still glowing within her. Holding her hands together closing her eyes taking deep breaths.

"our father who art in heaven!"

She roared her prayers until she was heard i will be heard!. Please god, one chance was all she ever wanted.

" hollowed by thy name! Thy Kingdom come! Thy will be done!."

I am niiri! Hear me now! Ive massacred my kind for this moment! Im no demon im an angel! God please fix me to your image!

A traitor to her kind now, all those memories in hades where nothing but a locked trunk stuffed in an attic.

" On earth as it is In heaven. Give us this day our daily bread!"

I promise you and your angels im one of you...

Bring her light, give her the most beautiful wings, the most brightest of all halos so that shed feel like a princess walking down her kingdom as the angels welcome her in open arms.

"and forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who tresspassagaints us.

Open your gates and let me in....

Please give her a chance and look her way to see for yourself...

"and lead us not into temptation, b-but d-deliver us from evil!

Let me in so i can feel complete!

So to feel humanlike, In this doll body while there was life within herself wasnt enough, she hoped to morph into a proper angelic body to truly feel herself.

"f-for tine is the kingdom..a-and the g-glory..."

So i can...

And then she looked up weakly to the statue of a familiar war angel of justice next to god and a tear ran down her cheek.

So that i may be able to be with Michael without the reprocussions....

That's what i want more than anything god...let me..let me-.

" NIIRI! "a voice so beautiful yet a hint of authority in there tone echoed the cathedral. She turned and her eyes widened, Michael. Shed struggle to stand on her own, the smell of something that's been left burning on a stove waved through the seraphs nose. Eye twitching, he stormed over immediately to stop her from doing something that felt almost suicidal. He had been listening the entire time, that niiri so into her prayer didnt hear the entrance door open. Looking at her in this state set something off in him, it felt almost to familiar...

" Angelica?" She said as Michael lifted her up full force as if he didnt want her kneeling down any longer.

"get up now!" He said in raged, why does she bother doing this to herself? Its completely pointless and dangerous she should know better! He thought to himself. He didnt want to admit it but he was beginning to get concerned for her well bieng. But then niiri moved her hand away.

"no, i was about to get it right this time! God was finally going to see my worth! Im finally going go get my wi-" she was then abruptly stopped by Michaels words.

" you cant." Just that word alone you could hear splitting crack coming from her heart almost. "

" but...b-but if god can forgive and all then surley he can forgive me for bieng born a demon...an imper- Michael placed his hand onto her mouth to stop her from saying that word. " Don't you even dare finish that sentence!". All filthy demons are imperfect, that go againts gods will, and thus deserve a painful death. but with niiri, he just couldnt think of doing that to her; atleast not anymore, not ever since his pure heart began to sing love songs in a beat everytime he thinks of her. my sweet niiri...she was perfect to him. So perfect, that he hadn't realized how shakingly he had became when he saw her at her limit all the things that made her beautiful where vanishing from her burns. It knotted his heart so much he just wanted to kiss her pain away...

"Michael?" She muffled. hands still covering her mouth that it made him snap out of it immediately he had forgotten he was inside a church which ment...

Oh no oh no has god heard all his filthy adoration to his demoness crush through his inner thoughts?! Has he perhaps heard his heart beat rapidly when he laid eyes on her?! He must have heard everything! Goodness was Michael begining to grow scared, Nausea coming through the roof with an aching headache. Immediately he takes his hand off her and jumps back looking at her as if he had seen a ghost. God...why couldnt you have turned her into an angel.

" d-dont...dont ever say that word again..." He said with a shaky voice, face begining to sweat as he pressed his fingers on his throbbing head.

"....you mean imperfect?" It finally clicked " you mean...i am perfect? Just the way i am?." She tilted her head waiting for a response.

Oh, why does she have to look at him with such cute but deadly stare? Only making it difficult for him to not defy his precious god. He tried to look away, to bad for him he accidentally moved his eye to the corner to look at her. Ahh her white painted makeup with her rosey blush truly matched the lights of the skies. She was the perfect ang- no...she is a demon and she must accept that the holy land would never truly see her as divine. Theyd kill her if they had the chance once she's defensless.

"niiri..." his eyes look up to the statue of god before looking back at her.

"tck... enough with this make believe act! You are a demon! No angel would look down and see you as one of them! You can pray all you want but your only going to contenue hurting yourself in the process!" There was a small menace laughter that felt more of emotional pain than anything, pain of there forbidden relationship." Now look at you! Your all blisters and cracks! When will you open your eyes niiri?!"

Did it hurt to hear? Absolutely. but was it ever more painful because it came from Michaels words? One hundred percent. this was his paranoia talking she had to keep that in mind as to not feel this way. the problem was she to suffer from her own malady of delusions that makes her difficult to stay compose.

" you dont know that! Maybe itll just take time is all! Not tomarrow but any year or more! Maybe i just have to try harder in our executions to be seen as a potential devine bieng!."

The seraphs rolls his eyes letting out an annoyed sigh. Walking towards her he places two hands on her shoulder, gripping them but not to tight as to not worsen her wounds. They seem to have began slowly healing now.

" enough! Theres no chance in you becoming an angel niiri its facts! Thats why god dosent respond to you! Thats why no angels have come to your aide-

It was niiris turn to cut him off now. " You did Michael...you heard my prayer back then in the circus operation mission that you where sent to originally exterminate me remember?"

Immediately Michaels eyes widen. That was the first time they had properly met, thou it was his teammate exorcist that convinced him her words where true to keep her by there side. He thought he'd regret it but in the end it was a huge turn of events in his life, and dare he say something hes always wanted deep down, love.

" i-i did..."he says as niiri cups his face, growing tense at her touch god he wanted more of this from her...

Hesitantly he holds her, tears flowed from his two beautiful eyes. Then Michael says something he thought hed never say.

" why has god forsaken you such fate? Why couldnt he have made you an angel..."

He tilts his head to her palm, nuzzling it as he close his eyes leaving it sweet kisses despite the fear of bieng watched looming around him.

"if you where an angel...things wouldnt be as complicated..."

Niiri moved his beautiful face touching hers, lips nearly touching if she wanted she could have kissed him right then and there.

" i am an angel"

" i am your perfect angel from hell..."

" and you are my perfect angel from heaven~" there was a flirterous manner in her last sentence.

Oh that honeysuckle voice, so doll like yet seductive left a shiver running down his spine.

" my angel..."

Eyes closed, thinking about tasting her sweet midnight lips not caring if it smeared all over his glossy lips ahh the temptation...

But Michael leaned to her ear instead to whisper something.

"lets do this somewhere more privately where we can be ourselves dear."

Oh what a little tease he was, niiri couldn't help but giggle. Finally the tension was fading away and they could let loose together.

"Of course my beautiful white swan~"

She lets go of his beautiful face to offer him to hold her hand, She hatched an idea.

" place your hand in mine, and think about your most favorite place to be alone with me in."

Michael looks at her in curiosity, but nonetheless he does what hes told. He closes his eyes and takes deep breathes, in and out concentrating of his most treasured place. somewhere to be safe and sound with his demoness. Although he couldn't see anything, he felt a small gust of wind woosh over him. Somethings changed.

"now open your eyes."

When he opened them, he was awestruck this couldn't be...

"niiri... this is my-

She smiled then in her joyus state taking over,she gives Michael a big warm hug. Using her strength she lifted him up that his toes where barley touching the ground. Face blushing mixed between the emotions of love and disbelief at what he is just witnessing in his surrounding.

" surprise! This is my domain expansion the dollhouse!, well technically this is your version of it for now." The room was in pastel colors, glow in the dark stars lighting the dim room. The most extraordinary detail, was the ground that was made entirely out of clouds, thankfully they where walkable. This familiar room held so much memories for Michael that he couldn't help but shed tears.

" ahhh my sweetest Dolly of mine, you always know how to sooth this seraphs sadness away..."

He brushed her long front strand of hair away to kiss her forehead. A thank you gift for her. Although happy memories linger here, it also held something he couldnt let go, lucifer hyung. His face from joy slowly began to fade, luckily niiri caught this and tilted his chin up to look at her.

" no no no! This is exactly why i brought you here, so that we could make new fondful memories here! I know that your pscyhe still cant let go of the painful events that happend between you two. But i promise you, if you let yourself distract away from your worries and god, you will have the time of your life here!. This place is safe away from all that my dear" she says with all her endearment. If Michael is sad then shes sad and that only makes her more determined to help him heal from all his trauma. Locking into her loving eyes as she spoke Michael couldnt help but chuckle. Ahh much better sight.

"with you here, i already feel safe." He pats her head before bieng released from her long hug.

"now angelica~ since this is your playtime session with yours truly, what do you suggest we play together today?" She waited for his response.

Oh he gets to decide? How very thoughtful of her, there was just so many to decide! Lets see, play with the toys in his old boxes? Maybe not just yet, hide and seek? No not feeling it. Then he remembered niiris wounds again, they'll healed better now but still he wished to nurture her from her pain- wait that's it!.

" hmm, i think i want to play doctor with you my dear, and you will be my patient." He said with confidence. Niiri gasps dramatically at his request.

" you just read through my mind! Hehe maybe ill get a turn to treat you later?" She twirled her hair around.

" ahhh perhaps if my patient behaves well at her checkup ill consider it~" he teased with playfullness. Finally he felt like he could let loose here without the real world interfering with his mindset.

He went to look around for a futon mattress for her to lay, oh my goodness Michael has never felt this excitement in a good long time until now, oh how he longer missed this energy.

" come now and lay here while i check your pulse then ill be doing a body checkup". He tapped on the mattress to signal her.

Niiri jumped and plopped down, thank goodness it didn't break from her strength. " Im ready casanov- i mean doctor! *Cough* im sooo sick! Please help me figure out whats wrong!." She dramatically places her hand on her forhead as if she was in dire need of help.

" oh heavens, it seems we have a code blue on our hands!, here let me immediately check your pulse". Michael took a hold of her palm, putting his middle and index fingers at her wrist from the bottom of her finger. He listened closely, using some of his angelic powers to make her veins visible through his light.

"your heart beat seems to be in good health." Badump " hm? It seems you are suddenly beating rapidly i wonder..."

Even if it was just roleplay, watching Michael enjoy himself in this doctor scenario of taking care of his demon lover she couldnt help but skip a beat. So cute, so caring he wanted more of this.

" i think ill have to check your hearts pulse just to make sure" oh she was done for.

"o-oh well the stethoscope is over t-" she was stopped by Michaels sudden closeness to her chest.

" no, i think ill just listen to it myself. What of it's faulty? We cant have that now can we?" Like hell hed let this opportunity slide to make her melt through his needy charms.

" oh- hehehe... ah i see, why use a tool when my most perfect doctor is right here to do it himself? How silly of me to suggest it in the first place~." So warm she felt.

" that's a good girl, now stay still for me will you? " Niiri nodded and that was his signal to lay his head on her chest. He didnt dare move, carefully listening to her heartbeat...badump! Badump! .

"Niiri! Good gracious! Your heartbeat has gotten faster! What have you taken any caffeine this morning? Perhaps anxiety?".

Niiri shook her head, she couldn't even look at him. "N-no!"

" hmm then maybe, could it be..." He jolted his head up to niiris face suddenly now seeing a bashful niiri trying to hide her face.

" aha! I diagnose you with lovesickness! Oh how adorable!." He pinches her cheeks very slightly before tapping her nose with his finger. " Niiri my dolly~ please keep making that beautiful noise from your heart for me everday will you~?" He cooed.

" ack! Haha! Oooh Michael cakes this heart will always pump for you~, especially with how good your doctor role is im for certain its going to combust soon!" A snort coming from him as he rubs her shoulder.

" remind me to prescribe you some medications ok?"

She mimics her hand to sound like its talking " yeah yeah doctor~" she was about to stood up until Michael stopped her. "Ahem, i don't think i said your appointment is finished yet? I still have to check around more." Her eyes widen, where on earth is he going to check now.

" o-oh doctor where else do i need a check up?" She said as Michael crosses his arms.

" i need to check all over your body to examine all your burns from earlier..." He looked at her with concern.

Oh he still hadnt forgotten about that...

" oh right...its already healed from regeneration, but you are the doctor and i won't stop you from doing so then~". He really cared for her this much.

" good, im glad you understand. Now sit up." She does just that, she was also kind enough to unbutton her shirt for him.

Now Michael got a taste of his own medicine, as he began to feel warm inside his face redder than any cherries seen.

" a-alright...lets examine these healed spots now shall we?" He picked up one of her arms, moving it towards him to see and sure enough theyve healed. Tsk...if only god hadnt interrupted back there in the church he would have tended to her wounds.

"doctor..." Michael was listening to her.

" do my wounds still need to be healed?" He only nodded, but as healed as her outer layer was he could still see a tiny scaring needing to go away. So with his gentle lips he kissed it, one single kiss was all it took for it to go away with a golden light resembling little fireflies almost. The kiss of an angel is the most divine healing in all of existence.

He trailed his lips up to her upper arm, showering every consequences of her actions away with his purity. It didnt stop there, from her shoulder he'd kiss her upper back. He imagined what it be like if she had wings, oh how he'd always take a chance to nuzzle in between them, stroking them to watch them flutter as shes always done to his. He kissed there more that it left niiri to shiver down.

"a-ah! Ahh i see...,you got bothered by the fact that you couldnt tend to me at my worst state because of God. So you took this opportunity to make up for it yes?."

Michael did not respond he was to focused on showering her body with all his light.

"mmhm...~" he mumbled, her body now in a much better state thanks to him. Not before one last peck on her cheek.

" ahh there we go much better now~, it would seem your appointment is finally finished." If only it lasted longer but alas he wanted to give niiri her turn. Now hed be the one to play patient and immediately he took no time to switch his role.

"cough! O-oh no! I think i caught your love sickness~ i feel feverish..doctor dolly i need you to hold me~ " he falls so dramatically into her arms, his expression really gave off as if he looked weak and sluggish. Nuzzling onto her chest for comfort, hes so freaking cute she thought to herself.

" OH NO! We need all the angel numbers for a miracle to save you! " Carrying him bridal style she runs to the toy boxes, seeking to find some plastic medical equipments and wala! A thermometer just exactly what she needed.

"alright angelica open wide im going to check your temperature ok?" She says in the most nurturing care tone. as she places her other hand onto his forhead, Pretending as if hes actually burning up.

" ahh..." He obliges into her care as the tool was placed closing his mouth awaiting to see his temperature.

" ok lets see now... GASPS! 113?! Oh my goodness! was my lovesick so contagious that you couldn't resist me? Well no wonder you got it bad! Tsk tsk" she teases him.

" ahh doctor you caught me~ now look at me, needing your assistance to cure me cough! Oh whateeever shall you do my sweets?" He curls up closer to her, his attention seeking growing stronger as they contenue to play make believe.

" hmm, well sweety it seems we have no cure for this lovesickness you and i suffer from". Gently plays with his hair " although... Is it bad as a doctor to wish there never is a cure to this?." A soft chuckle escapes her lips.

Michael ponders at the thought then remembering her heartbeat whenever he does something for her Lovingly. Even he himself chuckled at the thought.

" you know what? Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad after all.." he smiles. " I wish wed always fall for eachother like this even in different timelines..." How sweet of him to say thought niiri. A life in different times with the same lover? How beautiful.

" but what if love sickness kills us?" Silence and then he speaks " my dearest, this is supposed to be a realm of joy yes? Lets keep it that way please?" He made a puppy face that niiri could not resist.

" ahh ok ok! Oh no patient your fever is getting high! Oh i know!" She lays him gently, running to find something that would similarly look like medicine. She searched around the boxes again until she found a fake vintage doll medicine bottle, crossing her fingers hoping there was something edible in here shake, ok there's something in here now lets open it. Pop, oh! There's little candys here, yes this will work splendidly.

" sorry i took so long starlight! Now come into my arms again"~ immediately pulls him close then smothers his forhead with kisses.

" take these pills that I'm prescribing you dear, take one now then the other later ok?" Takes a candy out of the toy pill bottle that's a shape of a star.

" chew " she commands, he leans his head up taking the dessert slowly chewing it down so he can get rid of this fake fever.

" ahh i think ill feel better soon knowing my doctor is so nurturing of me~ actually doctor if it isnt to much to ask...can you rock me back and forth? Id think thatll help me relax a bit in your care.." niiri smiles.

" this is your dollhouse domain and so it shall be requested, nothing is to much to ask in order to feel joy in this realm remember that Angelica~" ruffling his hair, she moves her body back and forth. Humming a bit as she stares into the stars and he watches her.

" this has been the most fun ive ever had in a long time, i wish it never ended..." He sighs.

" then how about we play one more game? We can play here as long as we need to!"

Michael smiles as he thinks. " Patty cake?

" i love that game! Cmon sit in front of me then." Michael releases from her hold as he positions himself to clap her hands.

" ready?" She says with glee

" niiri, im always ready~" he said with confidence.

And so niiri started the rhythm " pat-a- cake! Pat-a-cake! Bakers a man bake me a cake as fast as you can! " The pace speeds up, both lovers managing to keep up the pace as the ryhme repeats again.

"Pat it and roll it with an M." Wait shouldnt it be the letter B? Michael thought to himself

" then put it in the oven..."suddenly niiri snatches Michaels wrist, pulling him up close to lock his lips onto hers. Hand slithering up to cup his face, moving it from behind to caress his feathers. They flap through excitement, a muffled moan of surprise escapes his luchious mouth as eyes lock wide.

"mmmff?!" She chuckles in his lips before slowly releasing him " for Michael and Me~..." He was left utterly speechless beyond belief, he lifted his fingers as to feel his wet lips. He could taste sugar in those lips, addicting as his love for her is.

" n-niiri..." Now he looked utterly lovesick for real this time, no rolepay this time. He felt dizzy and woozy in the best way possible.

" i need you.." he wraps his arm around her pulling her even close to him that she has no chances of escaping. He wanted everything of her. " Mmf! M-michael~" she muffled.

While Michael continued to have a taste, niiri focused on showing affection to his wing, her favorite part of him. Moving he hand back and forth until sharp gasps escapes, winged feather switching more and more through her action.

" you mean everything to me, more than anything in the world.. that's why if i where to miraculously become an angel, id win there approval to be with you..."

It all made sense to Michael now, he stopped the kiss but not caressing her.

" my angel, you do not need there approval because i your angel from the heavens already approve of this forbidden relationship please Remember that." He kisses her again and even more passionate this time not caring if he loses his breathe. " I need you niiri..my beloved antique doll~" he began to cry a single tear then another streamed down his golden eye. His other eye seemed to be doing the same aswell. He was very emotional in this moment.

" your to kind to me my love..." Then she to began to cry, then something Michael does leaves her speechless. He pulls a feather from his wing, eye twitched from the Small pinch sensation putting it between her ear. " Michael...your own feather?"

He gives a genuine smile." that is your wing my dear, a reminder that you are my angel always..." He moves to the crook of her neck where he placed his feather to nuzzle her new set of wing like he's always wanted to, even if it was just a feather itll do.

Niiri returned the same gesture aswell, biding her face where his wing was tears of joy glistening down his pastel white shirt. But he didn't mind.

" your the only one who sees me for who i am... thank you."

Thats how they spend the rest of there hours, alone together sharing emotional intimacy moments while playing more. They wanted to be together in the dollhouse domain, not ready to once again face the challenges of bieng together out on earth hell and heaven.

it had to happen soon.

End

Angel dividers by @/Chocoperrito

Star divider by @/dwaintydoll

Blue sparkle divider by @/anitalenia

[sn4pozu]

my headcanons of Eddie Gluskin if he had a twitter :

he'd repost those RETVRN incel trad memes where its like a woman doing house chores & man doing job stuff

would get into arguments with a woman and subscribe to her onlyfans at the same time (gets mad when blocked)

tries to be professional and a know-it-all but also his entire likes tab is porn (he doesnt know it shows publicly)

calls someone a whore & drops a bible verse in the same thread arguing with them

idk if he'd be delighted with minion memes or viscerally hate them

USES DISNEY REACTION GIFS WITH NO SHAME , USES A CRYING STITCH GIF AT A DODO VIDEO OF A DOG DYING

If twitter bans his account mid argument he'd flip the fuck out and make 3 gmails & alts at the same hour

100% posts creepy comments under peoples post and gets upset if it gets hidden

flirts so much you'd think hes a bot but no he's just sending random women his number (does he care if they're married or not is completely dependant on his mood)

uses the nice guy card whenever shit starts going south

he gets doxxed he goes like "that's not me" (lies, is scared)

either that or he lashes out and start sending them death threats who knows

menace with the twitter Voice Note feature

not even a mutual KYS no hes going to write out his whole murder fantasy in a person's DMs and blocks them before they could respond

gets IP banned on twitter like, weekly, he just figures out VPN apps and finds a way to harrass people constantly

media tab is his breakfast and someones mutilated genitals, bi-weekly photo updates maybe

im not saying he would complain about hairloss but he would complain about hairloss

"i got declined by the pharmacist for asthma medication, fucking bitch *insert something mysogonistic*"

thinks bitcoin is stupid and not a real "manly job" so he dogs on them pretty horribly

thinks tech jobs are for NERDS and says it outloud whenever them NFT bros are commenting under his shit attacking him for calling them nerds

Cracked phone screen with blood in the cracks (he tried to clean it with soapy water on a towel but it just ruined the lcd now its forever stained yellow) ((free bluescreen eye protector mode ?)) (((also has to violently tap the home button because its already broken & that part of the screen died))) ((((has an odd smell))))

he wishes he'd have glasses for the phone screen but all he does is squint

would post dress updates though <3 maybe retweets sewing patterns and videos of old women knitting and go "my grandmother used to do that pattern, ❤️ Wow."

goes back to shitting on women

*posts black coffee with 2 fruitflies in it* "A Good Way To Start A Morning ☕"

posts half eaten food and the dirty plate and would be like "Delicious food today 😋 i almost forgot to pots." -- deletes & reposts because of the typo. PEOPLE CANNOT THINK HE'S WEAK.

His vest would 100% be posted on those gimmick accounts and gets picked on for it being crusty & grody 😔

DMs like multiple women at the same time and either gets immediately blocked or ghosted after a face reveal

he Has cried because of twitter comments before, never again......

has twitter warning threads made of him and has tried to draw a stupid fucking wojack on paper with pencil & pen because he doesnt know how to edit photos but he still wants to own the haters

posts gore to own the haters as well and then got mass reported to death when people found 0 similar images of the gore he posted

'A Thread On @/Eddie287367927 TW: Gore, Mutilation, Harassment, Transphobia, Misogyny'

probably had a youtube documentary made about his twitter acc and all the drama he got himself into (either by accident or for fun)

ok this idea kinda came up to me after i saw a trad meme come up on my tl and i just HAD to dump this all out somewhere

[mallowmaenad]

Yeah man so this rich guy heard about my cloning operation on Instagram so he sent me a sample of some DNA found on the Shroud of Turin and wanted me to make a clone of Jesus Christ, so like I show him the preview and he's like, disappointed that he's not white, says he doesn't want it to be "too political", I know you can't tell this over the phone but I just did quotation marks with my free hand. Anyway so like he gives me a bonus to modify the genetics and uh... he came out... kinda feral? Like yeah he looks like the white Jesus from all the paintings and shiz, but he like, awkwardly gallops on his hands and feet like a Half Life 2 fast zombie sometimes and only speaks in re-arranged bible verses. Yeah. Like a YouTube Poop. Anyway aah... he got out, he bit me... or, it bit me if I'm being honest I looked into its eyes and eye-dee-kay if it even has a soul. So to hunt it down cause im like not gonna turn a profit if I don't get this bad boy down to Arkansas by July, I pulled some strings and got some DNA allegedly belonging to Lucifer and Judas and I like, synthesized an anti-Jesus to hunt 'em down but like I only had enough juice in the machine to make her 15 years old- wuh- yeah, she. Look trust me I'm transgender, that and when I was trying to comfort her 'cause all she does is cry, and scream to the heavens for forgiveness, and she straight up asked me "Why didn't you make me a girl?" that's more than just "egg behavior" if you ask me. Yup I did the quotation marks with my fingies again. Anyway if you've seen the shit they're showing on Fox, I'm pretty sure people are doing like, Bigfoot sightings of ol' JC and I'm pretty sure he's living exclusively off the flesh-meats of evangelical hikers. So aah. I got my new daughter on the 'mones right now, dunno what to name her yet. I was thinking "Judy" or "Lucy" but that feels kinda wrong I mean I picked my own name when I transitioned but like, that's besides the point. Does your uncle still do karate lessons? I have to like, train her to subdue the Jeezy Beast but also I think it'd be a huge boost to her confidence!

[lindszeppelin]

I am the anon who sent you the long message, I am also a dude , Im of a rare breed in the fanbase , dont seem like there is alot of us here and thats ok lol I have sent you something before actually about how when men know we know. And I will say that over and over again. Seems like alot of the anons you get seem to be from people who are losing faith in that and think whatever Miss Gerber has with Austin is real. A man knows when he found his wife, not to get all preachy and sound like a religious crazy person but there is legit a whole bible verse in the book of Proverbs about it. I am 31, still young but old enough to know , especially as a married man myself when a guy has found his wife, he isnt hiding that shit. When i proposed to my wife we were on vacation and I legit facetimed my friends when she was in the shower and told them the news, up there squealing like a woman excited as hell LMAO. Austin is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, if he saw that life with Kaia we would know it will show. So all that privacy BS is exactly that.....BS....like he dodges questions about her all the time and Kaia does the same, i personally have never seen celebs go that far to do that, even the ones who wanna be private. They still talk about each other. I think these shippers as I stated see themselves in Kaia,so when things are said about their relationship and lacking chemistry they take it as you saying about them and Austin...anyways I will stop ranting here but i wanted this to known and to give your blog a guy perspective

aaah welcome back in! nice to have you here. the fandom truly needs bit more guys in the fandom to balance out lol. and i think there are, but us women are a lot more vocal about it i'd say lol. and to each their own, it's so cool to have you here.

but i thank you once again for brining in the much needed male perspective on this situation. and coming from a man that is married and is Austin's age, that seriously should be everything that we need to heed your words.

i think a lot this discourse stems from the fact that the super young girls in this fandom closer to kaia's age clearly are showing that they haven't been in a serious relationship, or they don't have a lot of life experience. because a man should love his woman entirely and not be afraid to show it or talk about it. if a man hides his girl in any way then he's not happy with her. austin moves with kaia like a man that is not taking her serious. plus he knows she is too young for anything serious anyway. and when a guy TRULY thinks he has found his future wife, he won't waste time. i know this from personal family and friend experiences. i come from a parental background where my mom and dad got engaged after only 6 months of dating and they are still together 30+ years later. i know someone else where after only a week their man proposed and they are still together. like...it is what it is. a man can be just as emotional, clingy, and lovey-dovey to his woman than the woman is to him. ladies reading...if your guy doesn't act like the sun doesn't rise and set with you then he is not the one and he won't ever be. and that's okay. go find yourself a person that leaves no question as to their feelings for you. if you have to guess or question then, as the famous movie goes, he's just not that into you.

and you mentioned a verse in proverbs. i'm not necessarily a religious fanatic, however i am spiritual and i won't turn my nose up at acknowledging that stuff. . so if you would like to share the verse then go for it.

but once again, thank you so much for your insightful input!!

[sunlightandsuffering]

https://www.tumblr.com/sunlightandsuffering/756114979619553280/httpswwwtumblrcomsunlightandsuffering7557330?source=share

i love how Sacrilege Mikasa is just a whole another level of unhinged with this (i regard u as the leading Messykasa agenda creator, and out of all your mikasa, sacrilege!mika is really fighting for her position in front of the line)

AND LITERALLY, WHAT IS WITH THE HAND THAT EREN'S USED TO SPANK HER ASS TO GET HER TO SWITCH UP 😭

p.s i cant stop laughing at the sacrilege asks (THE BIBLE VERSES PLS 😭), my girl doesn't give a single fuck about jean she's just too giddy to cling onto eren asap

SHE IS AND I CAN'T STOP WRITING HER, HOW TO MAKE HER MORE UNHINGED !! BUT OMG THANK U HIGHEST COMPLIMENT THAT I CAN WRITE THE MOST MESSYKASA!!! Sacrilege miki is in fact up there tho i agree, she's like NO ! I AM THE MOST INSANE !!! I'm cackling tho, Eren's right hand is the hand of god or some shit lol !!! He just has some fucking MAGIC IN THERE !! Just bc u guys are so funny and cute and im loving my sacrilege asks I TRIED TO WRITE SOME MORE CHAOS!! SO GET READY I. HOPE Y'ALL WILL LIKE IT! she's toned down a little bit but i think she's still fighting to be unhinged.

[whumpshaped]

are you religious? On account of all the recent bible posting. I'm not Christian myself but I have to hand it to them, the whole "eating Jesus's body and drinking his blood" is really cool

im actually not! well. idk. reading the bible and talking abt it rly makes me wanna be christian again.

tl;dr i am considering accepting jesus christ into my heart but i dont know if itll happen bc whenever i type or say anything slightly religious i cringe or make it into a joke. also sorry to any christian who finds my bible posting

i was raised catholic, went to church and bible study for 3 yrs, did my first communion, then dipped bc it was horrid. i was so so against being catholic u cannot imagine. i was against church, i was against begging some man in the sky for mercy, i was against their gay policy, i was against saying my pets had no soul- i was against absolutely everything except some bops in church

then i had my first big voluntary christian phase at 13-14 in which i drew more towards protestantism and attempted to read the bible cover to cover (i failed but theres a lot that i read.) i went to a lutheran hs for 2 yrs in seventh and eighth grade so that mightve influenced it tho i HATED monday morning worship at 7am and i cant believe its still happening even tho ppl routinely fainted and shit. bc u have to stand. the whole time

i also wanted to be a nun for a goooood while but turns out im just aroace and autistic (chastity and rigid rules sounds amazing to me huh)

so im 21 now and i started writing my angel demon story and i wanted to make heaven a cult like dystopia (and it turned into my own ranting at some points) and i wanted to give cassael actual bible-accurate problems. bible-accurate brainwashing lol it came to me because something i said abt them either on here or in rp made me remember that verse abt the yoke and stuff (my yoke is easy and my burden is light) and i was like wait i should read the bible and pick out the whumpiest worst most horrid most easy to misinterpret and turn horrible verses. so here i am.

but then i got rly rly into it. its remarkably easy to enjoy the story when im not reading the 1908 károli translation and spending all my spoons untangling the wording. and the thing is, i was always spiritual yknow. thats why i bounced so much between faiths and beliefs. ive followed the law of assumption stuff for a year or so now, i had genuine results from it- honestly everything i believed in has yielded good results for me always. whether it be christianity or paganism or loa. when i read the bible i DO feel loved even thru the incredible amount of horrid shit god does lol i felt loved at 13 and i feel loved now. so idk. im withholding judgement until i finish reading it but honestly nobody be surprised if i go back to my christian bs before the semester starts

oh thats another thing. im miserable lmao so not very hard for god to swoop in and be like hey do u wanna talk abt ur lord and saviour. me.

but im not rly gonna change in any way even if i do decide that tho, i think. my policy is already "be kind do good leave others alone". i dont think im gonna get preachy on here or anything. i mean has anyone seen much vegan posting from me? so i think im good

so . yea. sorry it turned into such a long post

[binch-i-might-be]

sorry im on anon because i don't want to directly get involved in the drama but. what the fuck is wrong with that person?? genuinely what the FUCK?? i'm so sorry this happened to you ray but the bible verse alone is making me think it's a troll now?? like holy shit why do these things happen to you

yeah I get that! no worries

well what I've gathered from her responses to tumblr user @dianaisangry who is brave enough to engage with her (and kind enough to defend me <33), she just genuinely doesn't understand this community and has a massive victim complex. I oddly almost feel bad for her because I don't think she understands what she's doing wrong? but also she's a grown adult so she SHOULD understand what she's doing wrong. you know

thank you <3 honestly the bible verse didn't even register with me, that shit is just random gibberish to me and I very much did not look it up lol. but yeah that is 100% troll behaviour

I still have no idea why she decided to do what she did. I would get it if she chose to harp on my post that admittedly vagues about her behaviour or one of my jokes about A dot Ham but no,,,,, she chose to make fun of me being like "I go to therapy now" 😭

[autisticempathydaemon]

hopping straight into this hehe

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

feel this way by mega mango ("i saw you, i sought you/and you saw me too")

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i <3 horror analysis video essays

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

hold something warm (cat, blanket, person, etc)

What is your favorite of Redacted’s videos, and why?

antons tinkering vid calms my mind and neutralizes my temper. he is so kind

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

david does not appeal to me lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

jurassic park

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

the whole DAMN crew but lasko is my best friend. in my mind i drive him to his grindr hookups

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

this novel ive read 3 times (its longer than the bible)

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

7-eleven slurpee or XL coffee depending on the time of year

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

guy enchants me. he is so fucking annoying and i want to smother him

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i love japanese stage productions (the culture is extremely in depth and niche and cool)

ALSO

im slowly writing a novel and write horror short stories in my free time

Oh, we stan a creative writing duo, so it’s gotta be Guy.

One, do you know that you are giving off 100% Honey vibes? USDA Organic, single origin, California Honey and I love it it’s precious /gen

Two, we adore a couple that writes together! I imagine parallel work, just sitting in the same room and space and typing at your respective laptops, would be such a lovely activity for y’all. Would it be necessarily productive? Maybe!

I can very much see Guy being a bundle of energy, unable to sit still, and you putting your legs on top of his till he gets at least another page of his draft done. Either that or writing is one of the rare times Guy focuses of his own volition, and that ends up being a really quiet, intimate moment for you both, the two of you writing together.

I also don’t know what Guy writes, I’m sure Erik is leaving that ambiguous so we can play around with that, but that bubbly dude paired with a horror writer just tickles me pink, I love it. It’s giving golden retriever black cat, beast boy and raven (gn).

Song:

I've heard about him before/ I wanted to know some more/ And now I know what they mean, he's a love machine/ Oh, he makes me dizzy

I continue and persist with the Honey-kinnie allegations. Guy is most definitely a musical theater kid, and this is the cheesy, glorious shit he’d sing at the top of his lungs, following you around and lovingly harassing you for affection.

Runner-Ups:

I kind of like Regulus for you- a horror for a horror fan. Milo would also be a cute match given he’s a heckin scaredy cat. It’s the horror video essays though. Regulus would have no interest, would turn them off if he thought they were taking your attention from him. Milo would watch them, but he’d get spooked. Guy picks the next one off the suggested videos column, and then you’re both down a twelve-hour knowledge rabbit hole.

Note: I worded the playlist question weirdly; you’re not the only one who sent me a Redacted playlist, so you’re totally fine, dear 💜 also I’m so curious as to what this novel you’re talking about is

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[averyspoopedcorgi]

for the ask game would you like to do eichi and mayhaps even.. tatsumi…….

atsa!!! i knew u were gonna give me tattsun lol but eichi is a welcomed suprise

i hope u dont mind some of my answers being short or shallow cuz I haven read many stories and most of my character thoughts are gibberish :,)

ok ei-chan first

favourite thing about them: his whole character, how complex he is the guilt he feels for his actions I like that he isn't some irredramable villain but just somebody who wanted to save something he loved dearly by any means possible (I hope I'm correct about the last part I haven't read about the war in a while) also half the batshit insane stuff he says is hilarious

least favourite thing about them : I have nothing I particularly hate about him I suppose he monologues are so long sometimes they make me wanna take a break from reading lol

favorite line: pretty mission epilogue only comes to mind from what I've read

brOTP: hell dorm but mostly aira, something about them bonding over their love for idols also chiaki i wanna see them interact more

OTP: the emperor and the his funny clown (wataei) have a vice on my heart

nOTP: romantic reichi or just him with any oddballs that aren't wataru or keito x eichi idk why they just rub me the wrong way

ramdom hadcanon: hell dorm movie which in reality r just aira and eichi watching idol mvs while rei snnnzzs

unpopular opinion: STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT HIM DYING WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE YES YOU CAN HATE FOR THE SHIT HE PULLED BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO REALISE THAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT A CHRONICALLY ILL MAN DOSENT MATTER IF HES FICTIONAL <- mad about marriage poll

song i associate with them: im soso sorry ive got nothing ; ;

favorite picture of them: babygirl or tiger eichi i cant pick

ok tattsun time!!!

favorite thing about them: the way he talks about his faith is so interesting....youd expect him to spout bible verses left and right but after reading feather touch and his conversation with aira just reshaped him in my mind, theres so much i like about him but this i what really scratched my brain

(also more meta but i like that him being chirstian isnt treated as a joke if that makes any sense )

also also vehicular manslaughter

least favorite thing about them: bastard will not come home no matter how hard i try. i wasted hot limit funds on his revival still nothing. i have every alk five star except him. what did i do tattsun senpai/hj

favorite line: feather touch but specifically the convo with aira. thats all

brOTP: aira and tatsumi. literally the senpai-kouhai friendship of all time

also christian rock drom with koga and leon theryre all besties canonically what else does a guy need (also they take leon on walks together and i think everyone should know that)

OTP: gee i wonder what it is *standing in front of a pile of tatsumayo fanart*

nOTP: idk really??? any of his juniors ig

random headcanon: koga taught him how to play the guitar!!! now you can always hear the distinct sound of christian rock from thier dorm room

he loves dogs like really loves dogs but could never own one cuz he lived in a church for most of his childhood so hes beyond overjoyed to share a dorm with leon

also cane user and bisexual tatsumi is soso real to me

unpopular opinion: stop treating him like hes some white queerphobic christian whats wrong with you people stop acting ;like every christian is terrible

song i associate with them: ah abuseken's christ and guchiry's orthodoxia

favorite picture of them: naur who let bro drive

[ladyimaginarium]

okay so uh. i& wanna fucking sob. i& looked up my& old group i& used to attend to back when i& was in elementary school & uh. i& won't be listing the name just in case for my& safety but like. let's just say that it literally means "approved workmen are not ashamed" & that shit was evangelical. that shit was & still is a fucking xtian nationalist white supremacist child indoctrination cult. it's safe to say im& a cult survivor & i& no longer feel crazy about it. back then i& had no idea what that meant or questioned anything i& was taught; it supports the ideologies of manifest destiny & the doctrine of discovery which are used to justify colonization & not to mention has an extremely racist history of antiblack racism, antinative racism & to a lesser extent antiasian racism, as well as queerphobia and transphobia. its literal motto is to train children to serve jesus & dedicate their entire lives to him & then telling them to evangelize others, to literally become soldiers in god's army. that is evangelization & missionary work. i& remember how they basically indoctrinated us&, how the leaders invited us& to bring a non-xtian friend, a few good times, how i& was shamed for asking questions about what i& was being told, how one of the leaders would tell me& "god is always watching", the amount of homophobia and shaming of any non-xtian religions, telling me& that microchips are being planted into arms & how the end of the world was near, her experiences with demons ( this happened when i& was about 8 or 9 approximately, i& honestly don't quite remember how old i& was but i& was very young which traumatized me& ), the grey outfit uniforms we needed to wear, the tried and true methods of repetition and memorization & having us study bible verses, conformity (gray-shirted uniforms, etc.), the slogans, the peer pressure, the missionary work the leaders were on in vulnerable black and indigenous communities... & what's worse about all this is that they KNEW i& was native. THEY FUCKING KNEW. this is what i& mean when i& talk about conservative white western xtians continuing to attempt to evangelize indigenous children & the group also has many branches all around the world & even reaches into refugee & migrant groups. this is literal fucking textbook colonization & it makes me& sick to my& stomach & im& literally tearing up bc the messaging was so ingrained to me& as a child. now the issue of residential schools or more specifically with my& case the indoctrination of native children seem so much closer to home now, even if i've& never known anyone in the family who was a survivor, but even so, indoctrination & colonization & evangelism in our communities is still RAMPANT, especially for our children.

[antisatiric]

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil ( alice isn't dead verse !)

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > yeah thatll happen

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > not my fault sometimes thats just tha way things work you actually have a non zero chance of seeing the devil every breath u breathe amen or whatever pretty sure thats how the religion works idk i didnt pay attention

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > omg when i was younger

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > i used to use like a nightlight

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > and my brother would tell me if i kept using it after i got like too old for it it was like

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > bad cuz the devil could like SEE you or some shit idk i was like 5

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > anyway i didnt believe him so like the night i turned 6 im pretty sure i still needed the light on which in retrospect it was super annoying to him coz like 3 of us shared a room atp

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > anyway when i turned 6 like NIGHT OF my birthday he shows up with this spirit halloween mask and like HAND OVER MOUTH drags me kicking and scratching in2 the woods by our house and then left me there and i never slept with a nightlight again

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > im actually starting to think my brother maybe wanted me dead

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > anyway the point is i actually thought that was THE REAL DEVIL from like the bible until like 4 months ago it always rly confused me why the devil would just abandon me in the woods instead of like. idk eating me or something

[ To: alastor ✨📻✨ ] > what were we talking about

texting. / accepting.

[dadkisser15]

☹️☹️☹️

Guys how is this even fair!!!!!!! Aifyhfuudhghdjfj

Okay this is a rant

WHAT THE HECK !!! Like I feel very silly right now like because Ik some shit that I probably shouldn’t know and it’s genuinely fucking with my head and my ability to be normal in my uhrhmmrmm situation. Am I jealous or something? I don’t know probably not but does it make me angry, yes ! I am so emotional and quick to anger like I need to calm the fuck down for once, like bitch take a breather it ain’t that serious but im overthinker level 1 billlllion so of course im going to just think about it for a while and keep thinking about it until it eats me up. Im about to kick my ac unit out my window and go down along with it 😭!!!!

(I feel like this bitch rn ☹️)

Ohhhhh girrllllllllllllllllll. Okay, I’ll go on a side tangent about this movie just cause and also it’s a good distraction. OH MY GOD, this movie.. normally I’m not the type of person to watch movies like at all, I feel like I can only really watch them when it’s with another person or if it really interests me. I watched “Priscilla” with my older cousin, well a large majority of it with him and I don’t really know shit about Elvis besides like his music and stuff but I really appreciate how this movie doesn’t focus on Elvis, well obviously it wouldn’t focus on him since it’s just about Priscilla but I find it so interesting to see things in her perspective. (Movie is based on a book that the real Priscilla wrote btw) The way her life for a good while was just consumed by Elvis, yet he was barely even present during their relationship! There’s a lot of scenes in the movie that visualize the isolation and how trapped she was, I mean she could’ve always left but she loved him! When she eventually left him he was just a shell of a man (druiuuhhhgggsssssssss); I’ve seen some interviews and even now Priscilla claims to still love Elvis and honestly.. what I have to say to that is girl you’re stronger than me I don’t fuck with no cheaters 😭. This one scene especially (the image I have pasted above) I FELLLLLTTT!!! I’ll talk about another scene in a minute but listen so, Elvis is hosting some sort of party? Idfk but my mans is reading bible verses to a bunch of women (including cilla) and asking for their interpretations of said verses (Elvis was apparently very religious despite breaking a commandment) and as he’s doing that he leans into this blond woman and smells her perfume and questions her about what she’s wearing and she responds that she’s wearing “Chanel No. 5” and after witnessing all of this Priscilla excuses herself out of the room and cries in the next room and you might be thinking that was an overreaction righttt? NO, first of all that’s so real this is the type of jealousy I get like it’s okay elvis was so fake for that s word. The reason WHY she was so pressed was because that’s literally the same perfume she wears!! Not only is it the same perfume she wears she WORE IT THE FIRST TIME SHE WENT TO GO VISIT ELVIS AT GRACELAND 😭😭 LIKE WHATTTT

(The scene btw) 😛

The other scene I wanted to talk about was when Cilla read through the papers about how Elvis was apparently engaged to this lady he was acting with btw Elvis had to leave Cilla home alone while he invested time into his movies so she was already YEARNIN’ for her man. She is absolutely ENRAGED !!! (I’ll write more later)

[wadesprincessboy]

While im talking about my culture and faith, i wanna be clear about something. No matter what you believe, if you were born Jewish, you ARE Jewish. Judaism is more than a religious belief. It is a culture. A people. An ethnicity. I may have become Christian but at the end of the day I'll always be a Jewish person. Not in the bs messianic way, i mean in the sense that if an antisemite saw me with my family i would still face their antisemitism, even if I start reciting Christian bible verses. In the way that my upbringing will always mean something to me. Ill always call a good deed a Mitzvah and ill always say "may their memory be a blessing" and never "rest in peace". Ill be an aba and eventually a zayde some day. All this is regardless of what i think about God. This is simply my blood and who I am. I will always be Jewish no matter how far I stray from the faith. And to others who converted out of the Jewish faith, please remember that you are still Jewish in culture and upbringing.

Theres not a lot im certain about in life but what i am certain about is that im still Jewish and will never stop being Jewish. My family died for me to say that truth and im not going to shit on their memory by denying that.

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

JKI posted 5,693 times in 2022

18 posts created (0%)

5,675 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/leg-stealing-bee

@/letluigisaythefword

@/elytrians

@/dilfdyke

I tagged 568 of my posts in 2022

#0 - 5 posts

#1 - 5 posts

#2 - 5 posts

#3 - 4 posts

#4 - 4 posts

#5 - 4 posts

#ask game - 25 posts

#:( - 6 posts

#5'4 - 4 posts

#check later - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#im oldest sibling by 9 years and in my head mt sister is still 'gross baby who mashes her food' so its a little gross to me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hemlo i would adore to know what u perceive me as, i personally perceive you as lilac flowers! (also hi i dont think ive really interacted w/u yet bc we Just became mutuals but hi hello!)

hi :) we have not interacted that is true v recent mutuals. ur just kinda like. orange? to me. just like pumpkins and fall leaves . maybe some moss thrown in there too, and river rocks.

1 note - Posted February 1, 2022

#4

does anyone have the one post talking about jesus christ being canonically trans?? the one with the made up bible verse?? please i need it desperately .

2 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#3

oh my god the magnus archives im not even done with it nor will i say any spoilers but like. oh my god. holy shit. ive seen so many spoilers for it and STILL im losing my goddamn mind its so cool

2 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#2

See the full post

2 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

another incomprehensible post. theres a hypixel housing that ive been playing on for an actual year. and they released the first map i played on again so now i have this.

one year apart!! its so fucking weird how time passes lmao

3 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hardyslave]

HOW PEAKY BLINDERS MEN TEXT

Includes: Thomas Shelby, Alfie Solomons, John Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Michael Gray

A/N: this is so stupid LMAO

THOMAS SHELBY

- he is SO dry.

- also a grammar nazi ://

- he texts so formally like he’s sending an important email every time

- takes HOURSSS to reply

- you’re lucky if he even replies at all

- a slow texter, he’s a complete grandpa with stuff like that

- taps his screen with his pointer finger LMAOO

- “ (Y/n), what does ‘DILF’ mean?”

- “DID SOMEONE CALL U THAT HSLSJAWJEKJX”

- “Yes? What does it mean? and what does hslsjawjekjx mean?”

- ghosts you then texts you for family meetings

- “tom do you want to go out later? :)” *on read for 2 weeks*

- *after two weeks* “Family meeting at 8. Don’t be late.”

- “that rhymes” *read*

- shows him what a meme is

- he pronounces it as “meh-meh”

- only replies to polly and the shelby groupchat

- you, arthur, john, and alfie are on mute (almost on block but he doesn’t know how to)

ALFIE SOLOMONS

- HE’S KIND OF NEW TO ALL THIS

- BUT HE TRIES HIS BEST

- he’d just accept whatever you say to him like

- “okay, alfiee. brbb”

- “What the fuck does that mean?”

- “it means be right back”

- “Ohhh okay IWFYLWYCH”

- “what”

- “It means I Will Fuck You Later When You Come Home”

- “uhm.. okay alfie :)”

- u both send pics of ur dogs

- “HAHAHAHA look alfie he’s humping my damn leg again”

- “He fucking what now?”

- when you and him are both at a meeting together he texts you horny or funny shit just to rile you up

- its either: “FLCP is so small” “what tf is an flcp alfie” “Future Lung Cancer Patient. He’s 5’7. Can you believe that?”

- or “Let’s get out of this fucking meeting before my balls explode, pet”

- in conclusion; he is a grandpa, but a cool one.

ARTHUR SHELBY

- stuck in 2013 im sorry

- sends chain messages still and those old tumblr girl quotes unironically :(

- sends bible verses to the group where linda’s in

- proceeds to send videos of him killing someone in a groupchat where linda’s not in :)

- takes great pleasure in giving tommy false information about the internet

- tom: Alfie, DILF.

- alfie: You’d like to fucking what now, Tommy

- y/n: HAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT DID U TELL HIM NOW ARTHUR OR JOHN

- tom: It means Die in London, Fucker..?

- finn: love is love, we accept you tommy 🏳️‍🌈

- john: HAJAHHAHAHHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE TOMMY

- tom: Then what the fuck does it mean, eh Arthur?

- arthur: No idea tom

- that was the first and last time tommy tried modern slang

JOHN SHELBY

- both you and him are the only ones who laugh in caps lock

- “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH”

- quotes vines constantly on a daily basis in the shelby groupchat

- you, finn and him are the cultured ones

- so you all have inside jokes in text that no one else seems to understand

- john: do you guys remember that pineapple thing on twitter

- y/n: NO STOP THAT WAS DISGUSTING

- finn: jesus christ now it’s in my brain again

- *everyone else*: wtf are they talking about

- texts the gc at questionable hours of the day

- *at 3 am* john: Who wants to go to mcdonalds?

- y/n: me

- finn: me

- alfie: At this fucking hour?

- alfie: Me

MICHAEL GRAY

- tommy fan boy #1

- does NOT accept the tommy slander you, alfie, arthur, finn and john dish out to his favorite man

- michael: Leave him alone, guys he’s new to all this

- finn: not the tommy stan talking ??

- y/n: tommy shelby (degrading)

- john: Don’t be a pick me, Michael

- alfie: I dunno what the fuck they’re saying but I agree

- arthur: Hahahaha

- would text tommy everyday

- “Good Morning.”

- defends tommy in the groupchats with his life

- at this point you, alfie, arthur, finn and john now have a seperate gc just to slander tommy’s social media skills

- BECAUSE MICHAEL GETS SO HEATED

- in conclusion he’s a tommy apologist