yourlocalrabidraccoon

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

An Emu that walked up to me yesterday along the Poudre river… anyone know if animal control caught it?

@gallusrostromegalus you seem fairly likely to know if there's any big bird farms along the Poudre?

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

My son egg n his brother cheese

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

I Soended one 1 WHOLE year tendin.g to, a rosemary bush In My herbs garden &. And I wenr 5 or 7 even ti,mes to the Shops also and our cupbairds SOVery full,of cheese and Cracke.rs Cause Im am shitting hosting Chris mant at my house again. Kissed all the butter in My Fridge, b cause It's Chris mant dinner tmrw. And My god. im forgotten to buy Potatoes

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

Hubris

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

a sandwichh for stev

original tweet under cut!! it looks v funny

whehahehahajs

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR

HEAVY IS THE CROWN

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

The blade !

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

I got nostalgic and drew Techno

Miss him

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

fuckin GET EM

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

“ i have the blade ! “

in honor of the little dsmp revival we have going on :)

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

staaaartin thaa streaaaammmmmmm

[yourlocalrabidraccoon]

BURN IT DOWN

ALL OF IT