#im still not fully recovered but i wanted to draw

[transformers-spike]

I cannot be the only one who wants to bang peepaw Alpha Trion plEASE TELL ME IM NOT ALONE 😭

I will never stop being an old man enjoyer. Give us your spike, peepaw

“I’m relieved we aren’t the only ones in this universe.” The words echo in his processor like sand in the desert wind. Fading in and out of consciousness under the rubble, he clings onto the softness of your voice, the faded edges of your smile burnt into his memory. He cannot make sense of your shape anymore, it’s a blotch of ink in his vision, something he recalls but cannot fully visualize. His mind reaches out to you, so close yet so far away. With every step he takes, you grow smaller, and still, you patiently wait for him with your arms outstretched. Like old times. You are dead. This he knows. Unequivocally dead. His digits twitch, warnings encapsulate his vision, reminding him each and every nanoclik of wakefulness that the next in-vent could be his last. He can’t help himself. Duty has led his life for so long, bestowed upon him by his creator, and he cannot fall back now and forgo his promise to protect Cybertron. But he is weak; pain receptors growing numb from the boulders crushing his frame, limbs quivering from a battle long lost. Primus forgive him, allow him this final comfort. Cycles ago, your crew had first established contact with Cybertron. It was a message sent across space, a simple signal that would tie your fates forever. The Council debated answering, fearing you could pose a threat to their planet, but there were only three ships with only a handful of members each. They chose fraternization over static silence. Communication was difficult, but somehow, someway, you understood each other just enough to arrive on their planet. Surprise struck him when he saw your kind, small, frail and soft to the touch. Your people were just as startled as them, but in your optics he saw something greater; a delight in meeting fellow sentient beings. They took in your crew and treated them like brothers and sisters, communicating through gestures and drawings. You could not speak their language, but they could learn yours. Knowledge was shared among you, tales of your worlds, their history, your technology, your people… Perhaps your place among your own was what drew him to you. Standing on the sidelines, you watched and took notes, occasionally serving as a sketch artist to exchange information. The others were mingling with the Council, asking questions, telling stories, showing what machinery brought you to them. But you kept your distance, politely nodding along and busying yourself with your notebooks. When he approached you, taking slow careful steps, you nearly dropped your pen in shock. His size was already intimidating by Cybertronian standards, but for a human? He could barely imagine the primal fear you felt when met with someone of his stature. You recovered quickly despite it, uneasy but maintaining your composure. Having knelt down to your level, he offered you servo, the sand within it shaping into a miniature version of your ship. You blinked, clutching your notebook to your chassis. Then, after a drawn out silence, you smiled, optics gleaming with wonder. That was the start of your companionship. You would sit in his servo, looking up at the night sky, speaking words he could barely understand but tried his hardest to learn. He recalls bits and pieces, meanings he managed to grasp through what you taught him. It wasn’t long until your time together grew intimate. As a prime, he was so focused on his duties that he barely got the chance to relax, much less interface. Things were… difficult due to the size difference, but there were workarounds. Charge runs through his fuel lines at the memory. How you would brush your digits against his valve, testing the waters so to say, before slipping your servo inside of it. There was no true relief in the interface, no way for you to properly satisfy each other. But you were both content, savoring every moment of your companionship. You would press your lips to his spike, working your servo in and out of his gushing valve. It made his frame shudder and his optics glitch.

He touched you much the same way, digits rubbing at the sensitive nerves between your thighs, gazing down at you lovingly as you grit your denta and arched your optical ridge in pleasure.

[aeroplaneblues]

Acting Grand Babysitter 🐰🌱😴

I love that yao yao is always in alhaitham’s banner, she is so cute and precious is the perfect companion for someone like alhaitham. I have tons of wips with these two hopefully I can get through them. For now im taking things slower than normal, also pls forgive my dialogue im dumb🥲 i tried.

[mooooonnnzz]

This is kind of cringe but can you write a fic or make a headcanon list of Stan/Fords daughter getting a partner and how the dads would react? I love your work btw it's great!

2010 Toyota Corolla

Stan + Ford HC's of their teen getting a partner!

⟡ 1,5k words

⟡ gender neutral reader!

⟡ guys i think im going through a writers block can u tell

⟡ i was doing so good too omg

⟡ i couldnt figure out a title so i used a song i was listening to ths is a song i swear

⟡ cute lil simple hc of of the oldmen!!

⟡ if u wanna be added to my taglist dm or comment!

⟡ i might like take a two day break from writing to get it working again ngl

Stan

♡ Stan is extremely protective of you. He never shunned the idea away of you having a partner, but he never really encouraged it. He told you that it was “a waste of time,” that finding a partner at such a young age isn’t really necessary until you’re older. You didn’t bother protesting against him because at the time you hadn’t found your person yet. But when you did, you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t nervous to tell Stan about it. You knew he wasn’t going to be overly mad, but he was going to be slightly against it knowing his views on you having a partner.  “Dad?” You nervously fidgeted with your fingers. “Yes, pumpkin?” You inhale, mustering up all the courage to tell Stan. “I have something to tell you…” You draw out. Stan’s face lightly drops, already having a feeling of what this “something” is. Pausing his TV show, he loudly gulped. “I’m dating someone!” You blurt out. Stan stares at you for the longest time, the gears in his head turning as he processes what you said. “You? Dating?” He sits up from the couch. “I need a moment…” 

♡ After he recovers from the initial shock, he’s bombarding you with questions, such as; “Who are they?” “Do I know them?” “Are they smart?” And so on. You had no problem answering his questions and he had no issue giving you questions with how rapidly he shot them at you. Whenever you answered his questions, you could see the wrinkles in his forehead deepen the more you open up about your partner. This was definitely going to take some time for him to get used to. “Thank you for at least telling me, pumpkin.” He says after finishing up the whole Q&A.

♡ Meeting your partner was a must before he’d allow you to hang out by yourselves. When they came over to the shack, Stan had this whole gruff persona. He didn’t show much emotion and when he did, it was to show his distaste for what your partner said. “How long have you known [Name] for?” He interrogated, flashing a bright light to their face. “For a year now, sir.” They responded, shielding their eyes from the shining light. “Sir? I like that.” He mumbles to himself, scribbling +1 point on a notepad. When he turned over to you, he gave you a big thumbs up and a crooked smile. You couldn’t tell if it was going well. “Why do you want to date them?” Stan raised a brow, tapping the pencil on his chin. “Because I fell in love with them, sir.” Stan let out a loud “hmm,” and scribbled down, ‘very straight to the point’ on the note. After the interrogation was over, he ripped the note and gave it to your partner. “This is your score.” He said. “I guess you did good.” 

♡ He pulled your partner into a room and had a serious “talk” about something you didn’t have a clue about. But when they came out of the room with a horrified look on his face while Stan was proudly smiling to himself, you had a tiny idea of what he said. They turn around to Stan and Stan twiddles his fingers, his other hand sliding across this neck threateningly. “Dad!” You smacked his arm. 

♡ Even after Stan approved of your partner, he still wasn’t fully swayed by them. Whenever they’d be over, Stan would send death glares behind their back when they weren’t looking. But you would always catch them and when you did, Stan would sheepishly smile at you and make a heart gesture and point at your partner. He only ever came around them when Stan noticed them staring at one of the monster tourist attractions. “Whaddya lookin’ at, kid?” They began explaining how interested they were in the craft of making these grotesque monsters and Stan was more than happy to tell them the process. “Glue and staples come in handy, kid. I’ll tell you.” 

♡ It wasn’t after that, you’d find your partner and Stan creating all kinds of monsters while cackling and talking. Stan saw you walk in and his face brightened up. “Pumpkin, look at what they made! It is disgusting.” He pointed a glue covered hand to the little ugly statue of a half chipmunk and fish. “Oh? Isn’t this something…” You poke at the monstrosity. “Isn’t it amazing?” Stan laughs, impressed with your partner's handiwork. “Oh, yeah. This is amazing.” You plainly said. “I’m going to leave you two be…” Conversation erupted between the two while you walked away with a big smile to your face. 

♡ “I like that kid.” Stan says, a pleased look on his face. “Oh, I can tell, Dad.” You roll your eyes playfully. “Hey! They’re a great person. Perfect fit for my little [Name].” His fingers reached out to pinch your cheeks. “Oh, stop!” You push his hands away. “I’m just messin’ with ya, pumpkin.” Anything will and can make this old man laugh. “You might as well steal them from me.” Stan’s perked up. “Really?” He overplayed his excitement. You send him a dirty look while he barks out in laughter. “You’re gross.” 

Ford

♡ He never really thought of you ever dating anyone. Romantic partners didn’t exist to him considering how terribly alone he is. The only thing he ever said about you dating was; “Uh, yeah?” and carried on with his work and that was a good enough answer for you. Ford found out about your partner when he walked in on you and your partner cuddling on the couch. “[Name],” He clears his throat awkwardly, pointing at your partner. “Who is this?” You introduce your partner to Ford and he’s genuinely speechless. “Since when?” He whispers to you after pulling you aside in the kitchen. “Since like, last week?” Ford’s jaw falls open. “And you never thought to tell me?” You shrugged. “I asked you and you said you were okay with it.” You tell him. “When?!” 

♡ He would be so awkward around your significant other. “So���What is your name?” He’s tugging at his turtleneck, silently dying from how silent this whole exchange is. It takes him a lot of time to warm up to them, a lot of hangouts with the three of you together so he could be comfortable with them. He also uses this as an advantage and studies how they treat you and what they should improve on to make you happier. At the end of the hangouts, he’d slip in a note in their pocket. “If you want to stay with my child, you need to read the note.” He didn’t mean for it to sound menacing, but it was unfortunately received like that. “[Name], I think your dad hates me.” 

♡ Like Stan, there’s an interrogation but it’s not as serious as Stan’s. Ford would have called them over and told them to sit down. He begins asking questions and writing down their answers. “What are you hoping to do with [Name]?” Your partner blushed. “To marry them hopefully.” Ford nodded his head. ‘Disgustingly cheesy.’ He wrote it down in big words. “If I ever wanted to conduct experiments on you, would you allow me?” You jump in at the mention of that. “Okay! I think they’ve answered enough questions, Dad!” 

♡ He deep cleans the areas where you and your partner hugged, kissed and cuddled in. “Dad, what are you doing?” He has a mask and a plastic protective layer of armor around him. “I’m cleaning all the gross teenage bacteria!” You had to walk out after that.  “Is this something you’re seriously going to keep up?” Even though Ford is the smartest man alive, he has trouble understanding the true nature behind relationships. “Yes, Dad. This isn’t a one time thing and we’re over. It’s a relationship.” 

♡ Oddly enough, they bonded over their shared interest in researching the wonders of Gravity Falls. You’d often find them outside, Ford kneeled down to the ground, inspecting something while your partner has a notepad in hand, printing down whatever Ford is telling him to write. “Hey, what are you–” “SHHHH!” You looked at them with a confused look. “We need to be utter and total silence.” Ford held out a finger while he whispered notes for them to write. “Why though?” Ford pointed at a sleeping little fairy that was blanketed in a leaf. “Leave the fairy alone!” Ford opened his mouth to argue back, but his nose twitched and before he could react he sneezed, blowing the little fairy away. A silent tiny scream could be heard. “That was awesome, Mr. Pines!” Your partner held a hand out for Ford to high five but Ford was too sad to high five them back. 

♡ “Final opinions on them?” You ask. “They aren’t too bad. They could be a good research partner.” You smile. “Just don’t take them from me.” You say, nudging him gently. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Taglist: @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @lovexsage, @teddycricketdream, @theilluminatidragonqueen, @raventeen @cedarmoonzz, @katharine3000

[ganondoodle]

yeah no of course i cant stop trying still ...

currently trying to get out of the mindset -draw what could be popular- by designing some rough ideas for the weapons shops in the new totk rewrite (fuse isnt a thing here)

to explain; during the first part (before villain rauru reveal and change to shiekah arm) the way to repair or craft weapons is with a new type of NPCs; they are smiths that can repair your weapons, craft them, and have some avaible to buy (mostly for arrows but also small selection of weapons), it costs material and some money, or if you dont have the material/all material, it costs more money but is still doable, price depending on how valuable or hard to get the material is you dont want to spend on it

then after the switch to the sheikah arm and zelda taking on the role of your permanent companion, she can both repair and craft as well (might be limited but expandable with quests, as in that zelda learns more skills- so theres new quests after the switch and you cant just do everything before that) with the difference that you need to have the required materials but it costs no money

this would mean that while no giant change before and after the halfway point of the game, it is definitely different feeling, plus its a convenience that is good to have in the second half but shouldnt be sorely missed in the first, the difference between NPC smith and zelda gives you the option to spend material or money- so you arent forced to grind anything if you need either for something else, plus new quest rewards for the second half and new points of interest in general, similar to a stable but not too close so theres still an element of exploration; they arent super frequent but around the map of the surface enough that you can reasonably reach one in each region (perhaps after aquiring the yiga as allies/or before that in disguise they can do the same for you but are only found in the underground)

it would also allow for more diverse gameplay, if your favorite weapon is about to break (it might not fully disappear but if you use it up it would go into a condition like the master sword when its lost its power, not usable or doing tiny amount of damage, but not gone forever if you accidentally use it too much-) you can decide to throw it away or keep it until you find the next smith, depending on if you already found one and see you are close or havent yet, or spend the material if you have it to instantly repair it

(i havent decided yet if rauru might be willing to repair your weapons, but not to craft them since he lacks the skill (would never admit to it) and he only wants to give you just enough support to enable you to do what he wants you to do- i think that might work better bc its still a difference to zelda, since she can craft too, but not too much so that you would feel like the games forcing you to use the smiths in the first half ... possibly its unlocked with one of the enigma stones, when rauru can claim he is able to do that now bc it lets him recover some of his strength)

what im wondering now, which is a bit important i think, is .. should the smiths be wandering around a set path or have a lil stationary shop? if they wander around it would make it a bit more depending on situation of you wanna use them, but bears the risk of making it annoying if you dont know here they are or happen to be too far away and a lil weird bc should have something to work on there, like an anvil, which would be a lil strange to carry around; a lil shop could potentially turn into a location you keep teleporting back and forth though im leaning towards the shop; you could make helping them build it a quest too, or saving them from monsters? overall i think this idea is a rather nice balance

[pmpwbrrs]

I'm pretty much in love with your off string au could you ramble more abt it .,. I'd be extremely happy to read it

Im glad you like it and thank you for reminding me that I wrote this, and giving a reason to ramble <3!! Sadly i don't have anything to really add? But I'll say what i kept to myself i guess!

I keep remembering about one of the things ghostlycoze said.

—

—

I actually REALLY like this idea. I don't think ALL iterators are gonna have this problem, because not all iterators, i like to think, associate themselves with their puppet? And they are all different. But i love thinking about how some of them look up at the sky, and see endless heavy clouds produced by their still giant, powerful colleagues(family? friends?), while they are here, small, and so vulnerable. I like to think that that the longer they stare at the bottomless, grey sky, the more they can't tear the eyes away. How they feel their new heart beating faster now, and it makes them nauseated and more stuck in this moment – because this heart is beating like a mouse's. So fast, they can feel it, they can hear it, in their neck, in their chest. And it's foreign. The sky is foreign. The choking dampness of the air is foreign, the wet cold soil is foreign. THEY are foreign. Can they be even considered an iterator? How? They are not even the same person, how can they still call themselves an iterator?

What have they done to themselves?

I don't think some iterators even manage to handle this. I think some of them, with no way of returning to a previous live, take an easy way out. Or at least risk it – after all, they don't know what the Cycle thinks of not only iterators, but of an abomination like them.

For some of them this is not freedom. For some of them, freedom is impossible to obtain, even when they have risked it all and threw away everything that made them who they were.

Or maybe, for some of them, at some point – standing in the cold, wet soil, becomes a sort of relieve. Perhaps, for some of them, the damp air and the now rumbling, endless sky, become more welcome. Maybe it's better for them, than what they were before. Maybe they'll get used to this, even if it's so hard it makes their head heavy, and their breath quickened, and even when they are not what they were, and never will be. Maybe as they breath in, they'll be reminded that they are no longer stuck because they've been given no other choice, but they are stuck on their own accord. Maybe that makes them ecstatic. Or, yet again, scared, or regretful. Or guilty. It depends on an individual. But overall, it's hard for all of them. And not all of them can or wants to deal with this.

–––

I also remember I was thinking about «what if Pebbles is saved only in Saint's era?». But the more I thought about it, the more sad and existential I became, and I never got around to drawing anything, because the idea of slowly losing yourself and all your memories terrifies me.

I think, if Pebbles is saved in Saint's time, there is no way to bring him the way as he once was. It's just NO WAY, i can't believe it. His whole body had fucking giant TEARS in it, there wasn't a single place left of him, his neurons are now squashed by 574020 kms of rot, 30942 kms of metal and dead organic and his flesh, and 2933892 kms of snow, he's a home for fauna and flora now. He will never come back. MAYBE some neurons will help?? But i don't think they will, or that they should help as much as they helped Moon.

Pebbles cannot recover fully. Of course, care and patience and not being in his corpse will help, slowly, but still not a whole lot.

I wonder how Moon would feel about him. How everyone would feel. And mainly, how Pebbles would feel.

I already somewhat explored the idea of Pebbles losing his memories. It was an animatic about his life flashing before his eyes, but wrong and twisted, and he can't remember the names of the people he cared about, but he feels guilt and shame, and in the end he gets ascended (right now animatic is abandoned).

But... If he's off string....

Imagine how painful it is to look in the eyes of a person and know that you did something horrible to them, but you can't remember what it was, and you can barely even remember who this person is. All you know is that you love them, and that you have hurt them. How would their forgiveness feel? Would Pebbles feel weird relief? Confusion? Grief? Will it even help?

Will he feel anger and an inexplicable sting of pain when they look at him with pity? How would he feel if he saw people's hope when they think he might remember something, but he just can't?

I already said that "iterator off string is not even the same person", but in the case of Five Pebbles in Saint's time, I think it applies to him even more. He's not the same person even before he gets out.

How would he feel being so small and fragile, but being aware of it, now? How aware is he, really? Has he even agreed to go off string? Could he agree? How would HE feel about the stuff I said earlier? The sky, the snow under his feet, the freezing, biting wind?

I don't like making things all dark and gloomy and no hope FOREVER only SUFFERING though. I think there are ways to help Pebbles and to heal. For all of them, really. Sure, as I said, I like to think there's not much you can do to help FP, but there are ways. And in the end, even though he doesn't have his memories, and he's scared and confused, and he's weak and small, and he's in pain, and he feels cold – he's with people he loves, and who love him. I think it's beautiful. And I think it's an improvement on rotting away in the snow and listening to the same tune until the end of time. And now he gets warm much more often.

–––

That's pretty much it? I didn't think about off string that much. I GUESS there are also some fanfiction i wrote, but ehh + I'm shy about my writing + it's russian and needs translation + it doesn't focus the on a dread of being off-string and all that, so I'm not gonna show that.

A lot of people left really interesting thoughts in tags on this post with nsh though, so I recommend you to check them out, they are lovely <3

[frankingsteinery]

(for the ask game from a few days ago) could you do Victor for 2, 12, 15 and 24

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

i had to sit and think because this one was so hard to narrow down. on a surface level i find all sorts of things about him endearing from his mannerisms to his speech patterns, but i think the thing that got me hooked on victor as a character was how emotionally demonstrative he is, particularly for a male protagonist. this also extends generally to his love for nature, for his friends, and his siblings (disregarding the incestuous implications of his relationship with elizabeth...)

i think this was only intensified for me when i started delving into frankenstein academic essays and analysis and then, by extension, the frankenstein fandom, and found that en masse it was people criticizing victor for just what interested me to him in the first place: being emotional, and therefore somehow melodramatic, overreacting, self-centered, egotistical, etc. it was this kind of climate of victor-hate that pushed me to make a tumblr account in the first place. someone had to be the sole victor defender in this barren wasteland

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

this is silly and probably not the serious answer you were looking for but like 2 years ago a dear friend of mine and i were joking about how you could catch victor frankenstein in a mouse trap and ever since then his assigned fursona in my head has been a mouse:

15. What's your favorite ship for this character?

by far its waltonstein (robert x victor). im aware clervalstein is vastly more popular, and while im charmed by it in-canon i dont find most depictions of it to my taste. i don't see their relationship as wholly reciprocated–one-sided on walton's end–which is part of the reason why i like their dynamic so much: its established that walton romanticizes the unobtainable, chases the unknown, and that's why he hangs all his hopes on things he cannot feasibly reach. first becoming a famous poet and going down with the greats, then sailing to find the northern passage despite being an inexperienced captain, all the while hoping for this impossibly idealistic image of a companion who would be perfectly tailored to his interests and manners, and then, against all reason, he finds this in victor, wherein victor becomes an extension of this habit, who is dying and too hung up in the past and on martyring himself, because everyone who has grown close to him has been hurt for it, so he cannot love again, or at least in the way walton wants. yet victor still has a reciprocated interest and finds a friend in him, even shares the same sentiment of the importance of friendship, but like he says no man can "be to him as clerval was." its very much wrong place/time but the right person.

ive said this before but i think, too, that if victor had recovered and lived than walton may fall a little less in love with victor. their relationship was founded on their dynamic of sick/caretaker, and beyond that, victor would have already exhausted his story, so there's no air of mystery around him anymore–nothing for walton to glorify or romanticize. ultimately i think even if they had the best of intentions and loved each other, they could not have a healthy or fully mutual relationship, and part of the appeal to me is this tragedy!

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

im drawing a bit of a blank on this one because no other character encompasses just what victor Is to me, but theres a whole host of victor-esque characters i could name because he is the literal foundation for the mad scientist archetype. if i was pressed i think id say geoffrey tempest from sorrows of satan by marie corelli (beyond his blatant misogny), and i remember some parts of emil sinclairs early narration in demian by herman hesse reminded me of victor. lucifer/satan from paradise lost also, particuarly the bit where he says he cannot enjoy the beauty of earth for the suffering of his fall, but that almost feels like a cop-out answer.

lastly–and this one is completely unfounded–itd have to be double dee from EEnE.

[cringelordofchaos]

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

- NAMES × PRØNOUNS = IT / SHE / HE / THEY ×××❤️‍🔥🎸🐍

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

--im; 🇷🇸 - serbian �� 🏳️‍🌈 - queer × ✝️ - (culturally)orthodox(+witchy ;))×××

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

biggest obsession lately: BRAWL STARS (#bs), ACE ATTORNEY (#aa) (all fandoms)

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

• other blogs - pronouns.page - music i listen to - tagging system - characters I relate to

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

нЕмА сПаСа Ни ТеБи нИ мЕнИ сВе Је ЛаЖ и рАј сЕ ПеНи (/Ј)

MY FAVORITEST POST OF ALL TIME /hj... (unless...)

I forget to update my pronouns page frequently so it's not really worth checking out.

{o.we,o,qw,qw.qq,o,qw,qw.qe,wt,qo,t,y×one^day.q,qr.wp,i,t,qr.t,ww,t,qi,wt,qt,qr,t.t,qw,qo,t-as.well (wq,qr,qw,t,qo.o.r,qt,qr,wp.e,qt,qe,qw,t,wp,t.qe,wt.journey.w,t,y,qt,qi,t.i,q,qr,r)}

DRAWING REQUESTS R ALWAYS OPEN! though my art skills r not up to everyone's standards, it's like free anyway so

(TMF Sean userboxes made by @speedydestinydream)

Uhm ok nobody's seeing this? Good. Rhea Ripley's hot AS FUCKKKK dude

Uhm and also. Random facts about me

I'm not autistic

I once hit my head so hard it was bleeding (and never got treated for it lmao)

Aaron Mitchell is just like me fr

By blood im actually more aromanian + Slovenian + ashkenazi Jewish + other shit than Serbian but by culture im Serbian (and Americanized... (Spend too much time on the net))

I love opposites attract trope because 100% of the time I relate to both the characters involved

I used to have an identity crisis over what kind of caricature I wanted to be but now I just let myself exist in peace without putting an active effort into just existing

I'm more culturally orthodox christian and tbh I don't really believe in that stuff but I won't give up the holidays and traditions. As for witchcraft it's fun and you can't exactly disprove the existence of spirituality so I am interested but again when I practice witchcraft it more feels like roleplaying so uhm. Not sure if I can call myself s true withx or a christian but who gives a shit.

Potentially alter human but I realized my obsession with alter human labels in the last might've been caused by the fact that I wasn't fully happy with who I was. still act like a creature at times though.

I have been called "fascinating" 6 times, once by a licensed psychiatrist.

I tend to overshare and also I was extremely scared of sharing the fact that I'm mostly aromanian because I thought it would reveal where I hid the money or some shit. I still am scared but oh well

Don't have ADHD either fuck that

I am at risk of a spine deformation. Lmao

I get extremely obsessive over fiction and it tends to last for... Idk? I don't count.

I'm picky yet indecisive as hell

Selfish and extremely lazy

So sarcastic all the time to the point of some people thinking I'm being genuine and then getting mad at me. I mean I dug my own grave there so.

I accidentally ghost people, respond really late to texts, if at all. I am trying to work on this because I have been made aware that this type of behaviour can genuinely hurt people and I don't want to hurt anyone

Had self diagnosed depression in the past

Cisginger

Autistic Craig Tucker real

Heavily heavily HEAVILY relate to Aaron Mitchell from the Mitchells Vs the machines (he is literally me in every way possible)

Unhealthily addicted to my phone

Sometimes draw but I'm horrible at it

My head hurts

Freakblr OG 💪

Suck at sports but like them but I hate working in teams because I'm afraid I'll disappoint everyone. Yaknow???

Experience self suspected social gender dysphoria (recovering)

Otherlink, mild specie dysphoria, possibly therian

Self suspected low object permanence

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO. the animations family.

first off i have to explain the QSMP a bit. the QSMP (nobody's really sure what the q stands for afaik) is a multilingual minecraft smp that first started in march 2023. the original server roster was 16 players, half of whom were hispanic and half who were english speakers. (this was bc quackity, the guy who came up with the server and did all the planning and stuff, is bilingual and wanted to unite his two communities). one of these original 16 was jaiden animations (this is important). on the first day of the server, these 16 members were stranded in a place called Quesadilla Island, which is controlled by a mysterious and sinister Federation (run by a weird little guy named Cucurucho)

okay, you know the trope of science projects where you get split up into pairs and have to take care of an egg together? they literally did that. All of the players were split into pairs of one spanish-speaker and one english-speaker, and tasked with taking care of an egg (actually a special NPC played by a server admin). the eggs started out with two lives each, and once those lives were out, the egg's gone for good, and your in-game child is dead. (this is a secret surprise tool that will help us later!)

one of these parenting pairs was jaiden animations and roier, and their egg's name was bobby. bobby was a rambunctious little fella- artistic, brave, very aggressive- and an absolute mama's boy. jaiden, roier, and bobby (aka the animations family) all got along very well, and tbh i need to go rewatch jaiden's vods of them bc they were so sweet together. jaiden changed her minecraft skin to match bobby's so they were both wearing overalls together.

(^ mentally i am here)

jaiden's character (or cubito, a word from the spanish speaking community that essentially means "minecraft roleplay character" that p much the whole community uses now bc its so damn cute) was aroace (just like jaiden in real life!), so she and q!roier were in a qpr co-parenting situation. and it was really sweet and i miss them. can you tell i miss them.

(drawing done by jaiden of roier, bobby, and herself) (the qsmp has an art mod btw)

now, astute readers may have noticed that i use "was" for both jaiden and bobby. on may 17th, 2023, bobby lost his second life to a vindicator and was ruled permanently dead. roier was there at the time, I believe, but was unable to save bobby in time. when jaiden found out, she SCREAMED and it was like. you know in hamilton how when phillip dies eliza screams? it sounded like that. (she also chased after the sunset while saying "wait for me" over and over again, it was really heartbreaking and im still a little bit insane about this).

the next day, the whole server went on a journey to the dungeon bobby died in, to plead with cucurucho for his revival. cucurucho refused to bring bobby back permanently, but allowed jaiden and roier ten minutes to talk with him and say their goodbyes. bobby asked them to remember him every time they saw a sunset.

(^ the last time the whole animations family was together. this was 9.5 months ago).

neither q!jaiden nor q!roier ever really fully recovered from bobby's death (although id say jaiden was hit way harder due to not having a support system outside of roier and cucurucho, who took advantage of her grief to manipulate her). there are some other things that happened here, such as q!roier getting married to a cellbit, a brazilian player working as a double agent of sorts within the federation, and purgatory (all the players were teleported to an island, separated into three groups, and forced to fight one another. in the end the island got blown up by a nuke).

on sunday, cc!jaiden talked about her qsmp character, ultimately stating that she was taking a long break from the server, that she had given the admins permission to do whatever they want with her character's absence, and essentially announced that unless the admins stated otherwise, q!jaiden had died in the nuke explosion in purgatory, firmly destroying the animations family.

(to me, the saddest part is that, recently, new eggs were assigned to groups of childless players, and both jaiden and roier got the chance to raise new eggs, with jaiden being assigned to empanada and roier currently being pepito's sole active parent. and all q!jaiden wanted was to be a mom. she died never knowing she had a second chance to rebuild her family. i am no okay.)

in conclusion:

THE LOVE WAS THERE AND THERE WAS NOTHING THEY CAN DO. I AM CRYING IN REAL LIFE I MISS HER SO BAD. SHE'S WITH BOBBY NOW.

oh

[squeakadeeks]

🥑🍊 sorry about the concussion!! Having recently recovered from one early in the winter… stay off electronics and screens as best you can (will hurt ya head worse!) (not that I’m… encouraging by sending oc asks LOLOLOLOL I am just very excited about your ocs lol That meme of marge Simpson going “I just think they’re neat!” Is me w ur oc lore)

hope you recover fast!

SORRY FOR THE DELAY ON THIS im already bad about responding to things but then as one would imagine, Concussion Job really threw a wrench into things. at this point, its significantly better. I'm still having a few ripples of the Bonk Effect, but no worries since the electronics thing was a losing battle haha.

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

In Delta, after Rhea leaves the little Raken trio group to find her own solution to the whole "everyone is going to go to sleep forever" problem, Rem goes fully off his rocker and commits to this evil nightmare caricature. in the moment everyone is like "hey dude. i dont think this is a great way to cope with the situation at hand and its kind of weird and objectively making things worse" but at this point he refused to write a prenup the way he was so committed to the bit.

🍊 [ORANGE] Does your OC have a prophecy surrounding them? If they don’t, what would it be?

I actually try really really hard to avoid things like prophecies and "chosen one" type narratives bc its not my jam. but!! fun fact, way back in the day, Alliacea was a prophecy story. Like when Mansoa landed on the island, she found ruins that fortold what was coming. It didnt really make sense and was pretty goofy, I just wanted to draw cool rocks. I have now learned I can draw cool rocks without them being precognizant. also fun fact 2, this was also from the version of the story where Pacific straight up murked people for power. At one point in time he was literally a homicidal in a 'lord of the flies' style character, and now he cries if someone looks at him too long and spends all his time with cute tropical fish.

[alinktoana]

local elderly girl sells stickers at a japanese food festival

not gonna lie, the entire experience is very emotional to me and it's been a month but moon channel's vid essay about cool japan, and the release of smt5 vengeance (lol) inspired me

tldr: i made some stickers, got real existential about it, will keep making more c: if youd like to check them out, here's a link

ive always wanted to draw, i used to say i was gonna become a painter or a fashion designer when i grew up. none of that happened, but i did go to film school. my final project was a script for an animated short highly inspired by nbc hannibal, majora's mask (i know, it was 2016, it makes sense to me lol) and a huge loss in my life from which i havent fully recovered, 10 years later.

the point is, ive always been art adjacent but i never really drew, until i got inspired by_hannibal itself_, noel fielding, kylux (LOL) and a roommate who was who was really inspired by art youtubers like frannerd and drew around the house, so i picked up a pencil and started drawing hannigram fanart bc i was so insanely in love with that show lol i remember who i was before i drew. i spent my days reading and watching tv, bc i love stories and stuff, but i was a consumer. and once i got a job after college i felt so incredibly isolated and directionless. do i have a direction now, as i work as a """"designer""" for a company that sells a mental health app? no. but like demifiend was force fed a magatama and got demon powers (LMAO BEAR WITH ME I JUST BOUGHT SMT3 HD REMASTER), i caught the art demon (like steven zapata says). and i caught it bad. i spend my day to day rushing through my work and chores and everything so i can have enough time to draw in the evening, to do whatever, and sometimes the need is so immense i cant do anything bc im not good enough, my skills are fading, im worthless, what's the meaning of all this? so i took a chance and showed my work at an arts alley on a japanese food festival i was helping organize. mind you, i was juggling that with my 9/5, promoting the event, finishing drawings from years ago. and when i got there, nobody got it. people looked at the stickers and didnt recognize the characters, and went on to buy the stickers my friends had that were more current. it was all japanese fanart. we were there with the single purpose of baiting weebs like us lol

ive always dealt with clients, im used to this. but im used to business to business, bc sigh i am a corporate girly. and im a beginner in the demon arts of arting. i felt so ashamed people were preferring other people, that i had the audacity to think i was worth anything. but i stood there, standing still with my brain boucing off my skull wanting to leave but also enjoying the experience and hoping someone, anyone would get it. and some people did. to my surprise, jack frost was my best selling sticker, lol. jack frost, from the smt franchise, a franchise im so new to but i love so dearly. im 100% a poser, ive never finished a megaten game. but… it just speaks to me. and thats where my cool japan feelings come from bc, like i said, i was selling at a japanese food festival. people my age, from the country i come from, were exposed to dragon ball and cardcaptor sakura from birth. and learning about history and the atrocities of the japanese empire is just. who can you trust. but ive aways resonated with one thing from japan, and it's the way they portray sadness in their works. it's become a ritual since last year that i will listen to smtv's ost when im on my period bc it literally brings me back to life. no one but i know how many times ive drawn goro majima and taiga saejima bc their mere existance and their sorrow resonates with me so immensily and i dont wanna see them being sad, nor do i wanna see me being sad. it's. it's really difficult to be to admit that im from brazil, bc our country sells happiness as an export but for many, many years the most popular genre is butthurt country music, and it makes sense, you know? people dont wanna admit they're sad. and i can only imagine what it's like for regular japanese people, bc we (i) get to see their big exports of bittersweetness… i dont know, maybe other people get to see that from brazil too, i dont know. the arts in brazil, or specially where i live, it's just isnt in the cards for us. but ill keep trying, you know. and i know fanart is a hack. but im trying. despite everything and everyone wanting us (me) to work for mining/metal/oil companies, make the most money, have the least health, drink all the alcohol (but call an uber), consume, reproduce and die, i. i just wanna draw tiny people, you know. it's. not that big a deal. all this to say that yes im gonna keep drawing and making stickers and, who knows, you know. these are stickers that i wont ever find near me, or that im too broke to get them from artists/official stores, so if youre like me, here's some pdfs in case you wanna print them and stick them wherever c: ty if you got this far, this is a big ramble… but it's been years in the making and despite everything im happy about it c:

[theendofuno]

okay….haii tl;dr: i want to throw myself from a reactor nuclear and besides loving this page dearly keeping it daily isnt helping me with these kinda of thought so ill start a god-knows-who-long hiatus

now *puts a music box version of meltdown by iroha for dramatic purposes* *cleans throat* pretending im talking to an audience its easier for me okay dont judge me :(

i dont know how to write texts but ill try my best to explain everything without going into too much annoying stuff but the text may have a few suicide mentions here and there

okay

i created this page in a very dark period of my life that never went away, it actually worsened everyday. it was supposed just to be fun and games, "oh this character didnt got released this month, maybe drawing him everyday for a month until he gets here will be very funny!!!" *stares at 2 years*

as you can see, i didnt had ANY prepare to keep going for the long we did, but this is 100% not a complain

i really love this page, i really do love everyone i've met, i love having this project with my best friend, but i cant and wont lie: it made me VERY worse than i already was. it made me feel good, it made me feel loved, it made me feel human again, and at the same time it absolutely killed me

having to keep this consistence everyday, having to do good drawings, not allowing myself to do what it was better for my own health just because i didnt wanted to disappoint people with silly drawings when the first week was all cool drawings full colored with a bunch of details, references and etc

i really lost my count of how many times i had a terrible breakdown or even an attempt and my first thought was just "yeah that sucked. anyway i have to work so people will have some art tomorrow!"

and to be honest i dont think starting this page with my friend was…..that of a good idea. i know youre here just for their art. you dont need to lie i know theyre better than i am and you would prefer to see their art everyday other than mine. dont worry the feeling its mutual

but well theyre a slow artist and i wont be the one forcing them to draw everyday, i am the one that can do it and thats what i did for 300 days until now!

but that was something that kinda broke my feelings also cuz im very harsh on myself and keeping comparing their drawings to mine, not only the quality but also the different attention it all got (and sometimes it was almost a 20 likes difference so..sucks to be me ig) isnt doing good for my little damaged brain. its 100% not their fault tho and im not saying it is KJGDKFDK but if im going to be honest then i will

i dont know how to keep going the text tbh,, so,, my point is that im havent felt well since i started the page, and i love it with my whole heart, and these feelings have nothing to do with uno, grand chase itself, or the community (maybe a 2% fault go for annoying people from twitter /hj), im just being a little egoistic and doing this for myself or otherwise i can go completely insane and well. psych wards dont look funny :(

i really feel nasty, an HORRIBLE human being, absolute egoistic trash by abandoning the page, i feel SO FUCKING BAD for not drawing my son, by not updating here everyday and allowing people to see the silly stuff i do, but i guess i got to my breaking point where i just cant keep ignoring my suicide attempts by drawing and keeping my mouth shut (really, my last attempt was so scary i didnt fully recovered from)

yeahhhhhhh

i guess that was it

i pinky-promise i'll try my best to keep drawing and posting everytime i can, but it wont be daily, and it may not be weekly also, but i didnt gave up and i WONT gave up, this page is my absolute pride and joy and i cant just let it go away for a bad mental day. i still love and forever will love uno and drawing him, and i'll be forever happy for everyone i've met and helped me even without they knowing, just by liking or commenting on my stuff

i hope you guys can forgive me for abandoning stuff right now and i hope y'all dont forget me. i wont be mad if you forget me. i'll just be a little sad. maybe cry a little *stares at you like that ( ◕_◕)* but dont worry. its okay.

i'll be trying my best to get back posting daily at least around day 330, but dont put high hopes. please. dont expect much. bigs chances i'll be just dropping a stick man with a heart ahoge saying haiiiii and go back to posting silly ugly art

[relaxxattack]

I posted 10,222 times in 2022

2,102 posts created (21%)

8,120 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@slippnslide

@lamina-tsrif

@relaxxattack

@hiveswap

@habeascorpseus

I tagged 5,615 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#fanart - 1,095 posts

#homestuck - 750 posts

#davekat - 229 posts

#being smart - 190 posts

#knifetrick fanart - 172 posts

#being normal - 154 posts

#fave - 148 posts

#save - 145 posts

#wof - 126 posts

#knifetrick - 119 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#‘karkat struggles with blurred quadrant boxes for his whole arc… but then he ‘human dates’ which is basically just flushed and hes fixed!!’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

twitter users please migrate to instagram instead. you wont like it here we say bad words and hate brands and are very problematic

5,296 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

anyway 4/13 is tommorow and there’s never a better day to start reading homestuck so i’ll probably pin the free unofficial recovered version for anyone who wants to read! i know homestuck is cringe and everyone says they hate it but tbh ive never known a more enjoyable and memorable character-driven story. if youre looking for something to get into, well, it never hurts to try something new

also its ok if you dont understand everything in the first acts, itll make a lot more sense on a reread. the characters are whats important anyway :]

5,390 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

#3

tbh wilbur sharing his dream has me fully believing technos in a good place now. its silly but legitimately since i heard that im not even sad anymore. hes resting, and hes having a grand old time, and all thats left to do is share his stories warmly. hed still want to be making people laugh, i think. idk. its helping me

6,808 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

#2

i know this is just one post on tumblr but i am BEGGING people who can to be loud about strange world.

it is so fucking unfair for disney to not properly promote this movie at all and for it to bomb so badly in theaters like it’s doing just because it actually had genuinely good poc and queer rep! i am SEETHING about how they intentionally set it up to fail and i can’t imagine how the people who worked on the movie feel!

See the full post

20,826 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

tbfh i love when people will headcanon characters as being of their culture and then draw little comics of them participating in traditions that the artist is clearly intimately familiar with. like YESSS share your personal cultural experiences with me through the blorbos!!! i love to see it!!!!!!!

44,924 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lunariumarcs]

a while ago, while i was really into my SPOP phase, I developed a shangella story idea that i dubbed the Swap AU. in the AU, angella and shadow weaver swap places - angella performs the spell of obtainment instead of light spinner. I was going through my old work on the blog and decided that I don’t like the way I wrote it - particularly the relationship between angella and shadow weaver. it was toxic and borderline abusive, and while it was interesting to explore that type of relationship at the time that i wrote it, its not really the sort of thing i currently enjoy writing about. it also comes with the caveat that im not really writing the shangella that i wanted to write, and also light spinner eventually leaves angella at some point in the story.

so here is an outline of a potential re-write that ive been thinking about for a couple of weeks now. these are plot points, largely removed from character work. i want angella’s and light spinner’s relationship to be softer and healthier than i originally wrote in the first version of this story. as such, the spell of obtainment doesn’t turn angella into a meaner version of herself. she’s still caring and nurturing like she is in cannon, her priorities are just different.

Act One:

- also i tagged this post as swap AU, which also where all of the older posts are housed, [including this post on the basic set up for the AU]. not necessary to read but there if you want to

- angella has always put her emotions away and hated being vulnerable, so that becomes more predominant now that she’s transformed. the spell of obtainment works off of the main goal and motive the user has. angella’s main goal and motive was to have enough power to eradicate the horde and restore order to etheria. she’s motivated to do so as a good leader. so the spell feeds into and pushes her ideas of being a good leader to top spot priority and makes them stronger.

- magic has always been one of the most powerful resources (next to military weaponry, which is primarily used by the horde) so she enlists the help of mystacore’s military, which is where light spinner comes in.

- LS’s injury has left her unable to perform strong feats of magic so she has stepped down from her posiiton, leaving michah to take it. though she is largely on leave until she fully recovers, she still hangs around micah and casta. kinda like the way seniors sometimes hang around administrators - she has nothing to do except offer advice and research (read also: annoy the shit out of mystacore’s two most prominant leaders). this is how angella and LS meet and develop a bit of a relationship.

- they take down the horde and restore scorpia’s kingdom (scorpia’s parents are still alive, as at this point the horde hasn’t taken over the kingdom yet)

- as a result of using her magic take down so many horde soldiers, the spell of obtainment has weakened Angella’s connection to to brightstone and she starts having trouble drawing from its powers. at first she doesnt notice as the spell of obtainment draws power from the life power of others, which it was draining from the horde soldiers. after a few weeks of peace, she uses up the energy stored up, starts to feel weak, and realizes she can’t draw on the brightsone’s power anymore. she contacts mystacore for help.

- light spinner still holds her career at a priority and recognizes that she is largely a vestigial part of mystacore. she sees that the queen’s unique disorder of magic is an area she can be of use, without having to actually use her own magic. the queen already knows light spinner and agrees to have her stay in the castle. light spinner makes it super clear that this is a job, not a favour (everybody is in a bit of a recession right now bc of the rebellion/war, and money is a bit hard to come by, especially for LS who’s on leave. its a paid leave but she’s still not making as much as she used to and she also refuses to ask michah or casta for help). angella agrees but secretly considers this a favour to mystacore.

Act Two

- angella and LS bond the longer LS is in the kingdom. they spend a lot of time together as LS conducts observational research on angella’s abilities and magic properties. every other day they spend about an hour doing this. on the days they dont meet, LS is going through library materials to figure out whats going on with angella’s connection with the brightstone.

- she takes her breaks in the castle gardens and starts attending to them as a hobby in her down time

- eventually they figure out that they can make an artificial connection by chipping off a small piece of the brightstone and attaching to to angella via a pendant or sth (like the piece of the black garnet shadow weaver embedded in her mask). the risk ofc is that sacrificing the purity of the brightstone by severing a piece of it will lessen its power. angella wont do it for several reasons including: the brightstone is a symbol of her kingdom and she would hate to disgrace it for the sake of her power. also the spell of obtainment makes it so that she has trouble seeing the bigger picture - so she’s more fixated on the downsides of taking a piece of the brightstone.

- they maybe have a fight about this, idk it depends on what the character building demons say when/if i sit down to write this. if they do fight, it’ll be for the sake of character development and they’ll eventually make up.

- LS has a hard time finding methods other than physically draining the life out of others to keep angella’s magic together (and also to keep angella alive, since the spell of obtainment is parasitic in nature). she leaves to go back to mystacore because they have a more extensive library on dark magic. angella eventually loses her magic and then she starts feeling physically weaker. she sends a scroll to LS asking for updates.

- LS has somebody teleport her to brightmoon. at this point she cares about angella enough to want to do anything to help her. she tells angella to take some of her magic. angella, who isn’t very in control of her power right now, accidentally takes all of LS’s magic. unlike my original draft, LS doesn’t lose her memories. she just passes out for a few hours. when she wakes up, her magic is in a very weak state - just barely there.

Act Three

- though she has power again, angella feels extremely bad for what she’s done and does her best to make sure LS is comfortable while she takes a few days to recover from the resulting exhaustion. LS keeps reassure angella that she doesnt blame her and she’s just glad that angella is feeling better.

- the rest of the act is dedicated to resolving angella’s connection with the brightstone, and building LS’s magic back up (by developing her plant-based magic abilities). maybe i’ll do an arc where they find baby adora and raise her together, or find a way to write glimmer back into the story, idk

[rubyklaasje]

ok idea for the s3 1941 flashback, involves a rejected kiss and also some zombie shit w/ furfur

crowley and aziraphale do a lil slow dancing, post the ‘shades of grey’ convo (idea from this gorgey art). aziraphale gets a lil starry eyed and leans in to initiate a kiss, but gets swerved by crowley.. like in the way where he turns and makes aziraphale kiss his cheek instead

and they're both mortified just standing there holding each other as the music plays on.. and it's like.. if aziraphale was chill he could 100% recover from this (a little bit of a bummer that he got swerved, but crowley's still holding his hand and the small of his back so clearly he's not too pissed...meanwhile, crowley's literally standing there psyching himself up to turn back and kiss him again properly..the biggest reason he avoided the kiss in the first place was shock..so he's working on building up his nerve)

but aziraphale isn't chill, unfortunately. and he rly did not expect to get rejected so he's just burning with white hot shame and panic and after a couple awkward moments he hits crowley with the classic 'forgive me'

but he says it just a little too quiet. and shame-filled. and reverent. and after a moment it kind of dawns on them both that he's like.. not reeeally asking crowley to forgive him for the kiss but moreso ,,,asking forgiveness from the lord god for kissing a demon..or even wanting to kiss him.. which ofc fully fully kills the mood

but oops! furfur came back to the bookshop that night to spy on/threaten them bcos they fucked up his promotion and made him look stupid and what does he see? aziraphale kissing crowley's cheek on purpose. and he's like oh yea no y'all are GAY gay, kissing on each other and shit (something something about how by kissing crowley’s cheek, aziraphale unintentionally exposes him to the enemy, judas-style) so he waits outside for crowley to leave cus he knows he's not getting in the door and he's not about to NOT try blackmailing these assholes again

MEANWHILE crowley is still standing there holding aziraphale, and crowleys brain is chugging along like 'wowwww ..sooo first he tries to kiss me, which is awesome...but then he immediately feels all dirty about trying it in the first place and literally asks god to forgive him??? which proves i was right to swerve him to begin with. because if i would have let him kiss me, he'd have just tortured himself about how he's so bad and wrong for doing it, and he'd overcompensate by ignoring me for a few years and refusing to call me his friend again.. all that trust talk, insisting on helping me with my bootlegging business, getting CAUGHT helping me with my bootlegging business, not to mention the hundreds of years of 'sinful' shit he's done for the arrangement...he's ok w/ 'shades of light gray' because he wants to shoot guns and eat cake and drink wine, but kissing me is where he draws the line..like he rly is deep down disgusted with me, huh. like SPECIFICALLY PHSYICALLy.. nice nice, love it, no that’s fair, i am a disgusting horrible demon so it makes sense and is cool. aight peace!'

and his reasoning would fall apart under scrutiny, but he doesnt say anything - just steps away and grabs his hat and coat and leaves (cos duh he just does that in situations like this). and aziraphale, obviously feeling horrible, kind of just lets it happen cos he thinks he fucked up (even tho he doesn't really fully understand how) and he just feels guilty for like 30 years about simultaneously rejecting and getting rejected by crowley.

anyway, crowley leaves the bookshop, trying not to cry lmao, hops in the bentley and drives off but then there's furfur in the passenger seat like 'hey girl hi...so u cost me my promotion, aaaand i saw the angel kiss you.' crowleys like 'do u have any proof? no. r u still pathetic? yes. and im STILL not dealing with this' and furfurs like 'oh what, did he reject u and u got yr lil feely weelys hurt' and crowley's like not dignifying that with a response, but technically? crowley rejected him. so..

[MAYBE THERE COULD BE A FUN FINAL ZOMBIE CAPER IN THE MIDDLE HERE where crowley and furfur need to dispatch the zombies for some reason and furfur has to like..trust crowley in a way that's so rare for demons to be able to experience in hell. and when furfur experiences that kind of trust (what feels like friendship) ofc he wants more, because being in competition all the time sucks so hard and he's soooo bad at it.. in this fake s3, there will be a pattern of more demons and angels coming to crowley & aziraphale’s ‘side’ against heaven and hell, and a flashback to furfur experiencing some fun friendly times with crowley could be fun backstory for his eventual rebellion against hell.

anyway, furfur gets a little tender hearted for crowley because i think he really does look up to him and thinks he's cool and doesnt understand why his friend just stopped giving a shit about him...why he keeps pretending not to know him... but anyway they kill the zombies successfully and crowley gets in the car to drive away but now furfurs following him around puppy dog style]

furfurs in the passenger seat [a bit of an az parallel for a sec] like 'hey, thanks for helping me out. maybe i can help you out, re: the whole angel thing. breakups are hard. i dont really understand why you'd wanna be with some stinky angel anyway. but hey! maybe there's a bright side! we could work together, like the old times. we're still a pretty good team (re: zombies). we should go report him to heaven, i think shax has a contact up there.. if we got an angel to fall it wouldn't just be a commendation, it would be duke of hell level shit...for both of us'

and ofc crowley (who had kind of forgotten abt aziraphale for a second in all the zombie hijinks) snaps and goes all terrifying demon on him, like 'if u even mention his name again, i'll literally kill you. i hate heaven and every angel in the place, but i wouldn't subject this fate to my worst enemy. now get out of my sight u horrible, disgusting, miserable waste of space' (projecting much, crowley?) which makes furfur do the demon equivalent of peeing in his pants, like legitimately thinking he might get killed rn, and he's looking at crowley with the fear of satan in his eyes..which just affirms crowley's self-hatred/self-fulfilling prophecy about how horrible he is. so crowley just shoves him out of the door and into the street and drives away

furfur sits in the road and realizes like oh ok 1. this dude is really really scary strong, 2. this dude i think would legitimately kill me if i tried to fuck with him or the angel, and 3./worst of all, he either really actually doesn't remember me or (and this 1 would hurt him most) crowley remembers it all but genuinely doesn't care about furfur or any demon anymore - that since they fell, they’re truly irredeemably evil but not evil in the cool/good way, evil in the useless pathetic waste of space way. he walks away from the whole experience believing crowley would be fine if he and everyone like him was literally dead. unlike this night had him believing, there is no ‘good’ in the world, no 'friendship', not for a demon, and now he’s going to hold this grudge forever and hold up crowley as like… his personal villain/poster child of what happens when u stray from hell.

and then yknow, in the current-moment part of the episode, furfur has to make a choice to either trust or fuck someone over (maybe literally crowley again) and he can have a lil redemption moment. idk im just having fun

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tannithvibes]

i got inspired to draw angel and now im crying at 1:20 in the afternoon