#im still having trouble sleeping
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Went to the dentist, got a massage. Most physical contact ive had in months 🫡
#lets ignore this one too folks#im still having trouble sleeping#fixing it w/soju tnght i think#and bnd videos love those quirky little idols#except im watching them in like 10 second incriments because existing is too loud rn so i have to stare at the ceiling in silence in between#my favored local tat artist is gone#going hunting for a dif one tmrw to get 2 small ones#might fix me#do i spend $500 and get anotjer thays probably not worth that much#whats the point right?#of savings or spending responsibly or anything really
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but my heart is like a claw machine
#undescribed#bonk.png#great god grove#ggg#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#isttvg spoilers#she/her for hector on this post please n thank you#i had a bunch of tags attempting to explain this whole thing n post game transfem hector hc but the og post didnt show up in the tags#n its like 5:30 something n i was already having trouble explaining it bc ive had like four hours of sleep so i sadly cant talk about gender#stuff like i wanted to in full detail so something something sanding self down to be nonthreatening n palatable#something something the way players (myself included) falsely believed king was a man despite many of us being trans or otherwise queer#n pre endgame king only being referred to with they/them something something men as the default as problem solvers as leaders the heroes of#the story something something hector's envy of the way king is loved n admired n able to be heard as herself#hector's fear of death n irrelevance driving her to do the shit she did n the main theme of isttvg (aside from transgenderism) being fear of#death n how denying yourself will cause you to become irrelevant in ur own life disconnected from everything as the years fly by#theres still time.#enjoy the bullet points its almost six am im gonna pass out#wiat also fixation on youth in both how we view n associate feminity n what is normally explored n portrayed with transgendering
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the new animate cafe collab promo art. never kill yourself

#quirinahdraws#digital#nintama#nintama rantarou#忍たま乱太郎#rkrn#senzou laughing and having a good time and getting along with his kids im so happy#im literally crying tears of joy I don’t think we’ve had a win this big since season 23 when they built that fuckass tower#it’s like. it’s like um that scene in tangled when the little kids plait Rapunzels hair up do u get me is that the vision#senzou genuinely having a good time and then he realizes how tangled his hair actually is. LOLLLLLL#tachibana senzou#yamamura kisanta#fukutomi shinbei#fawk. their dynamic is everything to me THOSE ARE MY DUMB KIDS!!!!!! senzou’s apologetic little smile in the second move#when shinbei was sleep apologizing for always troubling him WAHHHHHHH#season 23 was everythinggg actually i will never shut up about it. like it’s an emiko niiyama episode so ofc it’s well animated but#i think it’s very sweet that senzou’s patience gets tested nonstop and he still actively checked on them to make sure they were ok#and that he knows they mean well. lol when they were done how they were all like genuinely laughing and getting along for like two seconds#ITS THE SAME ENERGY AS THIS ART let them have fun. where is whimsical genkin trio!!!!!!! it’s here. it’s here in the animate cafe collab#2025 is a beautiful year and there are beautiful things happening. peace and love
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Mac giving Jack grey hairs for ~10 minutes
YT link for it! (because I got it down to ten minutes and thirty some seconds and couldn't for the life of me let go of that last thirty seconds)
if there's any scenes/moments that you think I could add to it (or if I get enough to make a pt. 2, god forbid) please let me know :)
#macgyver 2016#angus macgyver#jack dalton#mac and jack#matilda webber#riley davis#wilt bozer#video edit#fanvid#video clip#video compilation#I stayed up way too late making this#I honestly forgot how much Jack just starts yelling at people when Mac's in trouble lol#and wanting to punch stuff#but I like how he does it in a (still annoying yes) way that seems to clearly convey#“im really stressed out rn but I also don't want to take it out on you so im gonna say please“#ya'll I normally I get a modest ten hours of sleep per night. I have no clue what compelled me to stay up making this#tw guns#also the majority of the edits I made at midnight#sleep deprived and delirious#so im sorry lol
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remember to leave out cookies and brains for eddie and venom tonight!!
#venom#hi my name is alexa#venom 3#the way im having trouble sleeping bc im so excited#even tho it’s literally still like 16 hours before i actually see it#gosh i’m just so STOKED omg
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while i am procrastinating drawing in favor of staring blankly at the wall listening to my own tinnitus and heartbeat for some ungodly reason, i have decided to have the reworked sonau not include the barbarian set in any way (which has been freezing my progress of rewriting them to completion) bc it just doesnt fit them at all and explain it by implying that its a fake armor set with made up lore as essentially a piece of surviving propaganda made by the shiekah to make it seem more justified what they did to them-
(in my rewrite the sonau were an underground dwelling monkey-frog like creature feeding on nectar the nature of which made them turn into crystals of luminous stone upon death- which is also the energy source for the shiekah tech, additionally the sonau here were protecting ancient pieces of lost history of the past they were sure would lead to disaster if anyone of the surface would find them, and with believing the cycle of hyrules destructions is man made and self perpetuated at the center of their belief system it posed a danger to hyrules reputation- thus making them a target that ends in a double win for hyrule if eliminated)
-which would neatly also lead to perhaps a bit of tension with the existing shiekah, most of which of course dont know anything about any of it, but perhaps with impa being the only one to safeguard the only information left about it as a means of both preservation and to have it never be revealed :)
#ganondoodles talks#ganondoodles rewrites totk#zelda#sort of#im not sure why im writing this#i have so many things i want to do yet right im frozen between trying to draw something-#or sayingg i got too little time left in the day so i should just play more sims instead#so im just kinda sitting here watching the time pass while i agonizing over it passing with me doing nothing#...... also i got a really bad migraine and even my painkillers arent fully dulling it#had one of the worst nights last night ....... idk if it counts as sleep paralysis (?) but being half awake-#-and really feeling yourself choking and vividly crawling over the floor trying to get help while you feel like passing out#only to bolt awake somehow having trouble breathing even though there isnt anything obvious to cause it#and then shortly afterwards having i guess your body fall asleep before your brain and getting stuck in a loop of-#-gasping for air as you bolt awake over and over bc i THINK the breathing changing before the brain going out makes me think im choking#for quite a while ... and then wehn i finally do sleep getting sirened awake bc the fire station had an alarm#ON TOP OF it being a full moon which makes me sleep worse either way#nightmarish#and no im not using weighted blankets or have anything i know of that could actually be a choking hazard#(thinking of that one post about someone using so many weighted blankets its actively crushing them)#its just kind of piled up that night for some reason#i dont have those issues all that much .. though the body falling asleep before the brain is a little more common for me#when im really really overly tired#either way that was terrifying and im still feeling like crap
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school is starting on i think tuesday? so rest in peace getting the recommended eight hours of sleep it’s been great
#i dual credit and preap in some subjects and im doubling up on another so i have more room in my schedule next year#so i am going to D I E but at least its less money wasted on college since i still havent a clue what id wanna major in#i’ll figure it out eventually#but good GRIEF i am afraid#rambles#i dont think ill have too much trouble?? like the specific classes arent ones i struggle with much it just seems like a ton of work but ill#figure out how to balance it#and most of the teachers are the ones people love so hopefully they wont make it too difficult#ANYWAYS…. STILL NEED TO GET BACKPACK TOGETHER.#i will survive by naps and naps alone#but also i function well on little sleep so i should be fine
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Realized my huge childhood trauma just now!!
Realized my huge childhood trauma just now...
#probably vent idk. i will start rambling in the tags now#i was a very silent and introverted person almost my whole life#till this day i have trouble talking to people directly without worrying that they will laugh at me#at first i thought that this is just the way i am#probably school bullying did some impact on me too but im trying not to remember this part of my life#now im surrounded by people who love me but i still can't fully open to them#and all this was caused by heavy emotional neglect from my past environment and family#i REALLY thought it is normal that your parents dont know anything about you#no one has ever been interested in my personality until now#i speak very briefly and with restraint because i am afraid to say too much#im scared to about my interests and fixations. im afraid of being rejected#this whole thing was bothering me my whole life#and i realized what was wrong just yesterday#it hasn't let me sleep since then. i needed to speak out somewhere#its way easier to talk about your feelings when you speak your second language#tumblr is my diary lol#onion's personal ramblings#i feel better now pheww#vent
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WIP ! freind wanted me to draw them in pj's so here's Angstrom and Adrian's eepy fits <33
putting under a read-more just in case (partial nudity warning)
will reblog with finished version when/if im done<3
pose refs by @/albanenechi
#not much to say cs im going to sleep soon#will probably finish it tomorrow who knows#and might draw them actually sleeping too#honestly..Angstrom is so fun to draw#i expected him to be difficult bc of the head details but thats actually super easy#most difficult part is his cleft lip surprisingly. still have trouble making his expressions look good while not erasng it by accident#anyways#Angstrom Levy#selfship#invincible selfship#invincible yumeship
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Hihihi silly question for the qsmp early lore fans w good memory
Did the codes show up before or after juanaflippa, tilín and trumpets deaths??? I have a silly theory but it might get instantly disproven by that tidbit of info.
Or like. Not even once all of them died but did the codes show up before any of them died or after at least one of them died?
#qsmp#quackity smp#qsmp eggs#qsmp juanaflippa#qsmp tilín#qsmp tilin#qsmp trump#qsmp trumpet#qsmp code monster#saw ppl calling trump trumpet and honestly thats so fair#idk if that originated as as nickname bc of his actual name#or if maxo like called him that at some point#but still#its cute :]#also i plan on looking this up tmrw but id appreciate an answer either way :]]]#bc im eepy and have trouble sleeping so i just took some melatonin to help
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i meed to rewatch and maybe draw some horror movies cause ive straight up forgotten most of them already 😭
#mine.txt#most of the horror movies ive watched are asian mainly korean and filipino i just realized lol#tho half of the fil horror movies ive watched are horror-comedies while the korean ones are just pure horror#special shoutout to exhuma i watched it last year and still cant get over it#it wasnt the Scariest film in the world but i lauve horror movies with themes of colonization and generational trauma so im biased#also the narrative and characterization and direction was just really fucking good period#also another special shoutout to gonjiam haunted asylum cause that mfer gave me my worst hallucinations to date#and made me have trouble sleeping for the whole month give or take when they were prominent lmao
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ive been packing and packing and packing and im so close to being done but there is still so much to do and i have so little time!
#i havent done a cross-country move since 2019#and not one where ive owned this much shit before#this is stressful! ill be okay but this still is stressful!#im having trouble going to sleep because there is so much more i could be doing#but im also exhausted and dont want to burn myself out#tree talks
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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god i need winter to be over my skin is so fucking dry 😭
#its never been this bad during previous winters#but no matter how much water i drink and how much skincare i do i still end up with painfully dry skin#to the point where im having trouble sleeping#and also before ur like ''maybe its the alcoholism?'' im way ahead of you#ive been an awful alcoholic during the winter in previous years while drinking LESS water and my skin was still softer and less dry#than it is rn#idk why my body decided THIS was the year i would get crocodile skin but i fuckin HATE IT#and im fairly confident the weather is guilty
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I think the routine my new job is giving me has been really good for my mental health but it's funnier to say Ive been too tired to be mentally ill
#like work is bearable when ur getting paid to do something you enjoy and ur coworkers are nice etc#also somehow lucked out working at a library where im encouraged to listen to music while im working in the stacks???#thats still wild to me i can use my noise cancelling blutooth headphones while im shelving books and not get in trouble for it#im having the most consistent sleep schedule ive had since i hit puberty. 7-7.5h of sleep nearly every day#had two days of 6h sleep but it was fine im used to running on 5 😭 im too tired to stay up spiraling into breakdowns !!#i get into bed and im asleep in less than an hour 😭 ive even stopped waking up hours before my alarm im sleeping thru the night#waking up is another story tho i hate waking up at 7am its so hard to eat and get out the door in 45mins when my brain is still booting up#anyway its 11pm im going to bed goodnight everyone ily ❤️🫂
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GUESS WHO FIGURED OUT HER PERSONAL COLOUR?
#omg i’ve never been so excited#i didn’t sleep all night cause i was researching what colour i might be#and i was doing my sisters too#rn korean/douyin type make up is trending so i’ve kind of just naturally learned it#i always do pinks and emphasize blush and do my glossy lip and glitter#but then i did that on my sister and i could not for the life of me figure out why it didn’t suit her#like. it just looked off#ANYWAY i figured out we’re way different seasonal colours#i’m spring and she’s either summer or winter#i’m still researching but idk for her#BUT YEAH IM SPRING which is so convenient#it means i can keep doing the makeup i’ve been doing because it suits my features !!!#i’m trying to figure out what subtype i am — true/light/bright#i’m having trouble w it but it’s still fun#i just like knowing my season#and now that i know my sisters season i can finally figure out makeup looks that suit HER too#it also kind of surprised me that she’s cool toned (although there were major hints) and i’m more warm/neutral#BUT YEAH#i’m excited#makeup just does it for me#i’m also born in spring and i just feel like spring is so fitting for me > <#꒰ soon you'll get better. ꒱
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