#im still having trouble sleeping
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Went to the dentist, got a massage. Most physical contact ive had in months 🫡
#lets ignore this one too folks#im still having trouble sleeping#fixing it w/soju tnght i think#and bnd videos love those quirky little idols#except im watching them in like 10 second incriments because existing is too loud rn so i have to stare at the ceiling in silence in between#my favored local tat artist is gone#going hunting for a dif one tmrw to get 2 small ones#might fix me#do i spend $500 and get anotjer thays probably not worth that much#whats the point right?#of savings or spending responsibly or anything really
1 note
·
View note
Text
"Did you get in trouble for taking the cup into the ocean?" "Yes. Yes." "Did Rodrigues? He took it in there too!" "Did he?" "Yeah!" "Well, I mean, I brought it under the water—looking back..." "What happened?" "You bring silver into the ocean, saltwater—no!" "Oh, I didn't know that." "I haven't slept! How am I supposed to know? Nobody told me the rules!" "You haven't slept!" "Yeah, but you're naughty—" "But hey! If I would've known about it... oh no, I still probably would've done it. Still probably would've done it!" "Dude, who cares! That thing has been abused all through the years!" "No, no! The cup guys understood, the cup keepers understood—they, you know, told me the rules after and I swear to God I didn't know before but, yeah. Great memories! Great pictures!
Cam & Strick Podcast | 8.27.24 (x)
oceangate evolves further the more we talk about it so if youd like to see the other previous developments in concerns to it...
and also because its funny here are some of the times the cup has been held near or above water both salt, fresh and chlorine alike since oceangate in no particular order
and i just think its very clear when oceangate happened because now everyones holding the cup high above the water/near bodies of water and not letting it get dunked
but pre-oceangate the cup was just dunked in maffhews pool hours after they won it (which was before they went to las olas and welp the rest is history)
#matthew tkachuk#evan rodrigues#florida panthers#will i tag every cat in this? absolutely not go wild i however for my sanity will not lol#like a kid he admits to his guilt by scuffing his sneaker into the pavement by going “well i brought it underwater...”#BENNY DID TOO? WELL I MEAN YOU AND EKKY PUSHED HIM. BUT HE DEFINITELY DID GET MORE SALTWATER ON IT THAN YOU DID??#i genuinely think its so funny how maffhew took the most flack for oceangate#ah to be one of the faces of the team is to well...take one for the team#my favourite thing about this is maffhew trying to convince us he knew saltwater was bad for silver BEFORE he was just sleep deprived#oh im sure buddy#at least he admits that he still wouldve done it even if he knew lmaoo at least we're honest with ourselves#naughty kid who always gets in trouble strikes again#he gets so whiny trying to defend himself#“i havent slept how am i supposed to know nobody told me the rules!!!!"#there there sweetheart you dont have to whine about it we still love you and your dumb decisions#he gets progressively whinier the more he gets asked about whether oceangate was allowed lol#i think this is karma for the prince of wales touching fiasco where sasha took all the flack despite maffhew being the instigator#the world is now balanced and all that
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
remember to leave out cookies and brains for eddie and venom tonight!!
#venom#hi my name is alexa#venom 3#the way im having trouble sleeping bc im so excited#even tho it’s literally still like 16 hours before i actually see it#gosh i’m just so STOKED omg
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know this is 100% my personal problem and idk if anyone can relate but as an afab person with some weird gender shit going on I kinda hate it whenever dnp make jokes like "you know us we don't like pussy/tits" etc like 😭 I love that they have fully healed from the comphet "fyi I like vagina" era but I hate being made to feel like a Woman™ because of my anatomy if that makes sense. Like my brain interprets it as "we don't like those traits because they make you a woman and we're gay" idk it gives me like a weird wave of dysphoria every time they say it 😭😭 the first time I watched BIG I interpreted Dan's monologue about "I don't care what kind of anatomy you've got going on, I don't feel attracted to the signs on bathroom doors" as being like trans inclusive but I fear he's walked it back with these constant jokes dsdfghjkl and to be clear I'm not saying anyone is obligated to find me or my body type attractive like that's not what this is about. It's just the equation of genitals/anatomy with gender idk. And this is not even really something that's specific to dnp and I know there's a lot of discourse about genital preferences or whatever idk idk maybe I should've just sent this to phannieconfessions and allowed everyone to take it in the worst possible faith over there. I just need to get it off my chest
#im still trying to figure out if i should book an appointment with a gender specialist#i do have a gender dysphoria diagnosis on my file#but one of the things that's held me back from wanting to try T or whatever for such a long time is this fear of not passing#or of like not fitting into anyone's ideal of gender#like if i were to go on T and start presenting more masc. would that even make me feel better#if i still had to constantly listen to people saying “yeah but you're still a woman tho bc you don't have a dick sorry :)”#i know they're just joking but people on here certainly seem to take those jokes very seriously idk and I'm starting to take it to heart#as well i guess#i need to get back in the fucking gym im so skinny rn and it's making me feel even worse#I've been having trouble eating lately and I've lost a few kg. my arms are so skinny i fucking hate it here#sorry I'm relistening to the stereos and dan made a “we don't like slits” joke + i got like 3 hours of sleep bc i woke up with a migraine#and I'm losing it a bit idk#turning reblogs off because i know this is the piss on the poor website and ppl will decide to interpret this as#“im gonna kms unless dan and phil tell me they wanna fuck me” dssdghhfdjkljhjll 😭😭😭
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
my brain likes to bounce between aus and lately the lottery is landing back on lights out. im having many thoughts and uhhhh am i changing some things Again? yeah
#well. perhaps not change so much as Add#and those additions tweak certain things methinks#im more confident in this au now that i Know its pretty canon divergent i think#i can get a little more funky with it#before i wasnt sure how aligned it was so i was hesitant to actually do anything with it#but now! now! i know#i can craft the main body of the 'plot' instead of defaulting to the aftermath#im changing around what happens when and If it happens at all#frank still bites it tho. he needs to. shhhh go to sleep frankie its ok you'll be fine#more confident in what to do with wally and where events go and just yeah everything in general#absolutely unprompted#might actually be able to whip up a concrete outline for that possible fic!#im also changing the aftermath so fucking much and im having Fun with it#new troubles for everyone! more distress in new ways for them!#and transformative experiences for certain others!
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Got my first meeting with a psychiatrist in over a year since the last one demanded details about trauma when I was visibly sweating and shaking! Let’s hope today goes much better and that I have the prefrontal cortex online enough to leave if necessary instead of tolerating that kind of thing again
#note to everyone: if you say ‘I experienced xyz’ to a medical professional#on your FIRST VISIT#they are NOT supposed to require further and further details before moving the conversation along#they should take you at your word and realize that’s not the important part#the important part is hearing what symptoms you have had for how long and how they impact your daily life#so they can help you#NO ONE needs the details unless you choose to share them on your own time#and if someone is pressing you for things you’re not ready to talk about#LEAVE!!!! get up and LEAVE#i know that now#personal#this isn’t about sleep I’ve been going downhill in certain areas for weeks and haven’t gotten the boat to turn around#so I’m asking to start back on meds BEFORE things get really bad#i was planning to wait for the fall#but I’m struggling so much and I shouldn’t have to be#so. SSRI and asking about nonstimulant ADHD meds it is#the good thing is that while my self worth and competency and anxiety are in the toilet again#Im at least not feeling depressed and I’m not having all the sleep trouble I used to or the void feeling#my PTSD symptom improvement is still there it’s just anxiety and ADHD kicking my ASS
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
school is starting on i think tuesday? so rest in peace getting the recommended eight hours of sleep it’s been great
#i dual credit and preap in some subjects and im doubling up on another so i have more room in my schedule next year#so i am going to D I E but at least its less money wasted on college since i still havent a clue what id wanna major in#i’ll figure it out eventually#but good GRIEF i am afraid#rambles#i dont think ill have too much trouble?? like the specific classes arent ones i struggle with much it just seems like a ton of work but ill#figure out how to balance it#and most of the teachers are the ones people love so hopefully they wont make it too difficult#ANYWAYS…. STILL NEED TO GET BACKPACK TOGETHER.#i will survive by naps and naps alone#but also i function well on little sleep so i should be fine
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hihihi silly question for the qsmp early lore fans w good memory
Did the codes show up before or after juanaflippa, tilín and trumpets deaths??? I have a silly theory but it might get instantly disproven by that tidbit of info.
Or like. Not even once all of them died but did the codes show up before any of them died or after at least one of them died?
#qsmp#quackity smp#qsmp eggs#qsmp juanaflippa#qsmp tilín#qsmp tilin#qsmp trump#qsmp trumpet#qsmp code monster#saw ppl calling trump trumpet and honestly thats so fair#idk if that originated as as nickname bc of his actual name#or if maxo like called him that at some point#but still#its cute :]#also i plan on looking this up tmrw but id appreciate an answer either way :]]]#bc im eepy and have trouble sleeping so i just took some melatonin to help
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
trigger warning. do not read if you dont want to read something triggering.
#my bf is a fucking rapist#i told him i didnt want to have sex again because it was getting late and i have work tomorrow#and he usually takes a long time to finish after round 1 so i didnt want to stay up an extra hour#and he started manipulating me and pleading and saying he loved me and i dont know why i capitulated but#the fact that i said ok after 10 no's?#and i was crying#i was crying while i sucked his dick and while he fucked me#and he told me to struggle more because he found it hot#he thinks rape is hot#and after he joked about being a good manipulator and being able to get me to disregard my boundaries#which is true#but like he knows im an abuse survivor and have trouble with boundaries#the fuckdd up thing is he was the one who taught me to have boundaries#he told me to tell my mom to eat a dick when shes egging on my eating disorder#he told me i didnt have to stick around when my mom was calling me slurs for breaking dishes or failing classes#and here he is being proud that he managed to get through an abuse victims boundaries#he also joked about waking up to the cops at his door#which like shows that deep down inside he knows what he did is wrong#and if i wasnt such a cool girl i could get him into trouble#not like cops here persecute rape anyways but#i pretended to like it after the fact because i still needed him to take me home and i didnt wanna start a fight#but holy shit#idk what to do...#i mean im going to leave him fuck the trip#im shaking i dont even know how ill be able to go to work tomorrow#when this whole thing was over me wanting to get a reasonable amount of sleep on a work night#misiabear rants
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to get more than 5 hours of sleep tonight if I am going to make it this week it really needs to happen.
#it has been such a let down that giving up coffee did jack shit to fix my sleeping issues#fixed some other issues so i will be keeping it up but still#like really? that wasnt contributing at all to the sleeping troubles? bullshit. what else is left#im just like this. which would be fine if not for the headaches. fatigue. feeling like im dying. general whatever the hell. like i can feel#better. i have felt better. i just need to sleep 7-8 hours every night. pls.#-pers
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
god i need winter to be over my skin is so fucking dry 😭
#its never been this bad during previous winters#but no matter how much water i drink and how much skincare i do i still end up with painfully dry skin#to the point where im having trouble sleeping#and also before ur like ''maybe its the alcoholism?'' im way ahead of you#ive been an awful alcoholic during the winter in previous years while drinking LESS water and my skin was still softer and less dry#than it is rn#idk why my body decided THIS was the year i would get crocodile skin but i fuckin HATE IT#and im fairly confident the weather is guilty
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
mmm read a hurt/comfort Zoro fic recently and like. I get it now. That guy DOES hurt so pretty. kinda wanna try my hand at it.
-
A voice disappeared.
Zoro stopped in his tracks, feet rooted to the spot.
Who was it? Where? How-?
Just barely, he managed to block a blade aiming for his neck.
Luffy was ahead of him, laughing his head off. The cook was a bright flaming beacon in the sky.
The rest? C'mon take a count, Zoro. Make sure.
Usopp. Nami. Chopper. Jinbei. Robin. Cook. Luffy.
What? Two? No, where were-
His breath hitched as he blocked another attack.
Calm down. Take a breath. Count again.
Usopp. Nami. Robin. Cook. Luffy.
Fuck. They couldn't-
No, they had to have left the battlefield. These guys were smallfry, even for the so called "weakling trio".
Zoro took a moment to focus on the enemy around him. He let off a tatsumaki before focusing again.
One at a time, Zoro. Come on.
Usopp.
Robin.
Sanji.
Zoro jerked, eyes wide and searching frantically.
"No, no no no no no. He can't have-" Luffy would never leave before the battle was done, not without making some kind of grand exit. He wouldn't leave without telling Zoro- telling anyone- about it.
He wouldn't up and disappear into thin air like that. Not unless-
Zoro shook his head roughly. They were fine, he just couldn't see them. It would be too much of a coincidence for them all to disappear like that. He just needed to count again, then regroup with Usopp, Robin, and the cook, and figure out what was going on.
Stay calm, Zoro. Losing your head won't find your friends.
So, again, Zoro breathed. And Zoro counted.
Usopp.
The only voice left, was Usopp.
Zoro wasted no time.
He sprinted as fast as he could, cutting down anyone in front of him almost as an after thought, as he bulldozed towards Usopp's voice.
He'd nearly made it too, when some dead man kicked his side hard enough to stop him in his tracks.
Zoro turned to him, a snarl on his face. "Get out of my way before I kill you."
"Huh?" The man sneered. "I should be saying the same thing, watch where you swing those swords, asshole."
Zoro was about to retort when he noticed Usopp's voice moving away from him. He didn't have time for this.
Without warning, Zoro moved to slice through his opponent and, to his surprise, the man blocked it with ease.
"You wanna go? Here and now?" the man growled. "I'll kick your fucking ass."
This man- Zoro has never met him before, but nonetheless felt he would need to pay him his full attention to have a chance at winning.
But Usopp was getting farther and farther-
Oh, Zoro could hit himself.
"USOPP!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the man. "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, I'LL BE THERE SOON!"
Usopp didn't respond, but he stopped moving, and that was good enough for now.
"Hey!" The man yelled, pressing down on Zoro's swords. "Whatever you need him for can wait until after our battle's over. He's got his own problems to deal with."
Zoro didn't bother wasting his breath. He cut and slashed, throwing attack after attack without abandon. It didn't matter if he was wasting his energy, he needed to get to Usopp before- before-
The man, infuriatingly, blocked almost every blow, and got a few hits in on Zoro himself.
Zoro would get to Usopp, even if it killed-!
Suddenly, there was a crackle in the air and all at once, Zoro's nerves lit up with pure unfiltered pain.
He dropped to his knees, blurry vision wavering on black shoes. He couldn't feel his arms. Or his face. And his head was getting lighter and lighter.
Zoro's fading thoughts were prayers, to a god he didn't believe in, to keep his friend safe.
-
"GYAHHH, ZORO'S GONNA KILL ME!"
"Nami-swan, a little help please?" Sanji said, voice uncharacteristically strained.
"If you're asking, how can I say no?" Nami said, smirking. "Get out of the way... now!" The moment Sanji pushed off Zoro's swords to hop away, she brought down her Thunderbolt Tempo on top of Zoro. He fell to his knees before crumbling to the ground, twitching.
"You could've knocked him out on your own though, why ask for my help?" Nami asked.
"Ah well, it seemed he had a couple screws loose and I didn't want to kill what little braincells were remaining." Nami nodded in understanding.
The two of them turned to Usopp as he inched his way closer. He carefully prodded Zoro's thigh with his boot. "He's really unconscious, right? Not gonna get up anytime soon?"
Nami shrugged. "It's always hard to tell with him. But don't worry," -she stood tall, holding out her Climatact- "I'll shock him as many times as necessary."
"That means I get to live another day, so you have the Usopp deal of approval." Usopp gave her a thumbs up.
"What'd you even do to get him so pissed at you, Usopp?" Nami asked.
"Nothing!" He paused and looked away. "Well, nothing recently."
"He wasn't just mad," Sanji said. "He looked..." Scared, Sanji wanted to say. But the word was so... simple. Too simple. And it didn't explain the desperation in his eye. The wet sheen. The way he hardly blinked.
The way he kept himself facing the direction Usopp was in, revealing his constant use of Haki.
This wasn't just Zoro scared. This was Zoro terrified.
And Sanji had never seen him terrified before.
"...off," Sanji settled on, furrowing his brow. "He looked off."
Nami and Usopp hummed in thought.
The three of them stared down at Zoro's prone body. An ominous dark puddle started growing under him.
The three of them sighed.
"I'll call Chopper-" Usopp felt a tug on his ankle. He looked down. Zoro's hand was holding his boot. "I thought you said he was unconscious!" he yelled, trying to break his grip unsuccessfully.
Sanji poked Zoro with his shoe. Zoro didn't move. "He's still unconscious, so you're gonna have to be his teddy bear."
"What?! No!" He gripped onto Sanji's shirt. "Sanji-kun pleaaaaase free me before my ankle's crushed in his sleep!"
Sanji rolled an eye. "You'll be fine."
"Then can you go get Chopper? Zoro's losing a lot of blood."
"The mosshead'll be fine too. Also," -Sanji pointed to Luffy and Chopper doing some kind of strange combo attack, with Chopper in Heavy Point using Luffy as a whip- "I don't wanna break up their fun."
"Sanji-kun," Nami piped up. "Go get Chopper, please."
"Of course, Nami-swan!" Sanji immediately ran off.
-
The two of them quietly watched him go.
"Did you see what caused this?" Usopp asked.
Nami shook her head. "I know about as much as you do: Zoro suddenly taking out a big group at once and then charging towards you." She bit her lip. "I don't think he recognized Sanji."
Usopp sighed, squatting down to pull the bandana from green hair. He stared at the slackened face of his friend, hands tightening in dark fabric.
"What happened to you, Zoro?"
#one piece#roronoa zoro#nemo the writing ho#oh crap i think i accidentally started a multi-chapter when i meant o write a drabble aaaaa#the gist of this is. devil fruit or marine weapon or something. fucks with zoros head. so he thinks his crew has disappeared one by one#and its like. a subtle thing. which is why nobody notices until Zoros bulldozing toeards Usopp#tbh i have no clue where to go from here i just wanted to cause him some hurt#ack. this has not enough zoro pain#ah well. late night drabbles are. well. late night drabbles.#ohhh perhaps. perhaps even after this whole thing is resolved. zoro has hella trouble sleeping.#bc hes afraid he'll fall asleep and he eont be able to hear his friends voices anymore#so he takes as many night watches as possible. he doesnt take naps anymore. stays up even without having watch#all this just to obsessively check and recheck his Haki.#and then visit each and every one of them to confirm with his own eye that they were still here. still alive#haha yeah. itd probably take awhile to be comfortable enough to sleep again#maybe the only way he feels safe to do so at first is to be in a huge pile with his friends sleeping on or around him#oh fuck now im making myself hella sad#okay thats enough for tonight its bed time
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the routine my new job is giving me has been really good for my mental health but it's funnier to say Ive been too tired to be mentally ill
#like work is bearable when ur getting paid to do something you enjoy and ur coworkers are nice etc#also somehow lucked out working at a library where im encouraged to listen to music while im working in the stacks???#thats still wild to me i can use my noise cancelling blutooth headphones while im shelving books and not get in trouble for it#im having the most consistent sleep schedule ive had since i hit puberty. 7-7.5h of sleep nearly every day#had two days of 6h sleep but it was fine im used to running on 5 😭 im too tired to stay up spiraling into breakdowns !!#i get into bed and im asleep in less than an hour 😭 ive even stopped waking up hours before my alarm im sleeping thru the night#waking up is another story tho i hate waking up at 7am its so hard to eat and get out the door in 45mins when my brain is still booting up#anyway its 11pm im going to bed goodnight everyone ily ❤️🫂
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
GUESS WHO FIGURED OUT HER PERSONAL COLOUR?
#omg i’ve never been so excited#i didn’t sleep all night cause i was researching what colour i might be#and i was doing my sisters too#rn korean/douyin type make up is trending so i’ve kind of just naturally learned it#i always do pinks and emphasize blush and do my glossy lip and glitter#but then i did that on my sister and i could not for the life of me figure out why it didn’t suit her#like. it just looked off#ANYWAY i figured out we’re way different seasonal colours#i’m spring and she’s either summer or winter#i’m still researching but idk for her#BUT YEAH IM SPRING which is so convenient#it means i can keep doing the makeup i’ve been doing because it suits my features !!!#i’m trying to figure out what subtype i am — true/light/bright#i’m having trouble w it but it’s still fun#i just like knowing my season#and now that i know my sisters season i can finally figure out makeup looks that suit HER too#it also kind of surprised me that she’s cool toned (although there were major hints) and i’m more warm/neutral#BUT YEAH#i’m excited#makeup just does it for me#i’m also born in spring and i just feel like spring is so fitting for me > <#꒰ soon you'll get better. ꒱
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm aware this illness probably isn't COVID but it is the weirdest illness I've ever had
#delete later#i have covid tests incoming so we'll find out for sure but fuck me#no longer shivering but still getting spikes in temp for the third day#illnesses allways go directly to ky sinuses abd stay there. this started in my throat abd moved to my chest abd THEN my sinuses#i have a rattle on the right side of my chest when i breath too hard. thats NEVER HAPPENED.#i did have an intense headache but it wasn't a sinus headache ir was a fever one bc the brain fog and processing lag was unreal#tmi gross but im not coughing anything up. im dislodging something bc coughing makes the rattle stop for a few mins but what yhe fuck#despite the exhaustion i cant sleep more than four hours max at a time. mostly its been two hours#and then my temp spikes again abd i wake up#what the fuck#its completely dufferent to sny illness uve had before. could be that my immune system has changed a bunch bc of t?#i defo get illnesses easier#no idea#im back and i was right no covid! wahey! unfortunately that does not improve my symptomd but im still glad!#unless i recover real quick tomorrow i will not be travellig into the office monday#im having trouble standing for very long let alone travelling like 7 miles
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident
#first i was told to name all my diagnosis so i did and then when they were on poke number 3 for IV access#i suddenly remembered i had epilepsy XD#and so i was like 'oh! i forgot i have epilepsy!' and my nurse gave me the most DONE expression ive ever seen#their was a doctor that was in their that knew me too and she went 'oh yeah you do huh?' and wrote it down XD#then when i was going under for my procedure i had to have multiple different meds before hand as well as precautions in place#and so everyone was running around trying to get these meds and then when they were wheeling me back#we once again forgot about my epilepsy XD and the nurse notice and she was like 'wait you have epilepsy! did you get that med'#and so that happened but then once we got in the operating room they had pushed the anesthesia already but they were bickering back & forth#going 'get her on her back' 'no he likes them being on their sides' 'no thats the other doctor' 'is it?' 'i think it depends'#*walks over and looks at my chart again* *other guy hands me mouth piece to put in* *other guys walks back over*#'do you have trouble breathing on your back' *me with anesthesia already pushed and in my system* 'hwell ow at i an-'#*realizes mouth piece is still in my mouth and removes it so i can talk* 'oh yeah i tend to d-sat at night when i sleep'#*nurses realizing im going under finally* 'get her on her side! get her on her side!'#and then i blacked out XD#i love pre-op so much just because its so hilarious with what happens#virus rambling#anyways sometimes the hospital is fun the staff makes it homey and fun
8 notes
·
View notes