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macaroni-rascal · 1 year ago

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So a while ago I was watching a video of the Olympics and a comment mentioned PC had great spins. So I decided to look into. And… it’s actually the same spin for the last quad. They’ll do variations and they have good speed, but how can they not when it’s basically the same spin and almost the exact same positions.

I know VM mentioned they didn’t like spins, but I actually liked their spins. Especially the original Carmen one before they changed it to the Mahler one.

Any who, my question for you was who do you think has some good spins? I think it’s an overlooked component but I really quite enjoy them. Would love to hear your thoughts ☺️

Fun question!

The Shibs had crazy speed on their spin, they seemed to gain speed even, it was always quite impressive. Chock and Bates have a solid spin because Madi's positions are so nice and Evan is a good base. Coomes and Buckland had good speed on their spins usually -- their positions were okay, it was wild, they would have one nice position and then one not so nice one. Cappellini and Lanotte had nice spins, the one from the last free dance I always enjoyed, the entrance and exit to that spin were very cool.

Spins are also probably my least favourite element, under the IJS they last too long and have too many positions, they always seem to last about 2-3 seconds too long for me. It's hard to make a spin extra impressive when the criteria is so stringent.

#konner talks skating #im still going over old asks #this is probably at least a year old #lmao

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melon-official · 7 months ago

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She wails as though a part of her has died.

oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days

there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy

#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION #i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me #i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it #and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag #are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically.#need more stories like this fr #that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything.#theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the #i did that. i do that.#it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is #uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much #ugh. im unwell. anyways.#dewdles #our wonderland #gidget bordelle #iggy maxwell #genzou #genzou ichihara #cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil.#blood #injury #ask to tag

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intotheelliwoods · 11 months ago

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Little Sprout: what happened with big us?

Current Sprout: ................ *INCOHERENT SOBBING-*

yeahh- *sniffles*

#asks #god 2al had changed so much #and holy shit tysm to the people who have stuck with it for all this time #the au is over 10 months old #year anniversary around the corner...#man #like I know the whole au lost some traction after *gestures to twist* but #im still so happy to keep writing the story #waugh #holidays are crushing me atm with fam taking up my free time #and there were some other irl stuff that happened beforw then but #I hope to get back into a weekly schedule #maybe....#and im not sure exactly when #might be in like #another 2 to 4 months????????#but theres going to be another poat an update every day of the week event im excited to get to #that and oh boy #that 3 minute long animation project im slowly getting through #augh #tangent #im just emotional over this au man #my baby #changed so much #for the better or worse doesnt matter to me

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simmyfrobby · 9 months ago

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What are your top 3 nhl teams with the best vibes?

ooh ok. yea. fun. love this. im going to declare all my biases upfront: im a pens, bruins & wild fan so obviously my nr 1 is:

minny

they have flower. they have kaprizov. they go on homoerotic little holidays together. they have two deweys and one foligno. their captain is pretty and everyone is short. every game is somehow embarrassing. even if they win. especially if they win. 11/10 cant lose.

nr 2: philly

i dont follow them or root for them but i will have nightmares about the dog mask every day for the rest of my life. also they made drysdale come hang out w them during the all star break and that was cute. also the conga line. hardass coach but we stay silly. 9/10 solid vibes.

nr 3: yotes

jason zucker lives there.

#bruins have the goalies ofc #but the ghost of christmas past still kinda hangs over that team and also they like to play soúper frustrating games #that go on for 4 hours and where I feel like I might die the entire time #captain rat gets + for vibes but then 2023 sadbrad hug kills it. if krejc and bergy were still on this team they'd make the top 3 #pens ofc dont make the list despite sunshine boy poj and the fact that erik brings the silly every day #theyre too much of a Serious Old Man Team #bonus points for the silliest own goal in the history of the franchise. points withdrawn for cookie injury i miss him so bad #anne carson asks why does tragedy exist #answer: because old men #because love. because brittle bones and traumatic head injuries.#last year i probably would've answered Seattle #Detroit at the beginning of this season but they um. made some poor hiring choices. rotten rancid vibes now im very sorry for your loss #Edmonton would've gotten a high score from me at the beginning of the season not because the vibes were good but because they were #without a doubt #the most miserable team in the league and i found that to be soooo interesting and fun #How Will The Oilers Lose Next #but theyre good again now so that's less exciting for me #montreal honourable mention for the short slutty guy #love him

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puppyeared · 7 months ago

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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened #my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda #ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game #because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something #normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have #when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think #i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing #others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie #but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy #and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him #and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me #i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder #this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for #literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND #i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better #yapping #diary #loz #pokemon

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bunnihearted · 1 month ago

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🫖🐭☁️🍚

#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on #and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the #window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so #they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden #but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad #but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt #like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was #awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered #but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao #bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do #felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice #then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T #it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot #and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen #im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too #i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger #and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together #when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments #& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could #still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them #*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have #and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and #anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))

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britneyshakespeare · 2 days ago

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you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

#text post #general hospital #nicholas alexander chavez #spencer cassadine #sorry i'm still not over my shock at this lol #i remember asking my mom MONTHS ago (she follows general hospital news online) 'hey wheres spencer i havent seen him in awhile?'#'oh his character died off. the actor is doing some netflix show where he plays a murderer'#and you have to understand. i dont consume anything to do w true crime. but to my 63-year-old mother. ryan murphy doesnt exist #so bc of just how self-contained the archaic institution of network soap operas are. i just. idk i didnt assume it was a big role #it didnt register to me that it was the sequel to the dahmer show. is what i am saying. and i never thought about it again #mommy made it sound like he might be coming back bc soap opera characters fake-die all the time #and so i put the thought out of my head until completely independently i was watching a video about monsters: menendez being flawed #and i was like. going absolutely insane w how familiar he looked i was like 'ok i know that man cant be too famous but i KNOW him'#'i know him from something and i know him WELL from something. like whatever hes from is iconic to me'#and then the video creator said his name and i was like THATS INSANE WHERE DO I KNOW THAT NAME??!?!??#it's a name i read in the credits but probably never thought in my head at all bc sorry he's just spencer to me #so i googled it and i was gobsmacked. i was like MOM DIDNT SAY he was gonna be in THIS SHIT!?!?!?#i also do lay my life down on the defense that the cinematography of a prestige netflix drama makes him less recognizable to me #who knew him best under cheap soap opera lighting in basic back and forth dialogue shots. like #i have to be honest i never cared for his looks on gh bc he just kinda looked like too perfect. like he looked like a mannequin #i see it now though i get it #i get why he's very fan editable to the true crime girlies i get it #not that it matters. im just in mourning bc it never occurred to me the spencer era was over. i actually liked his character #i cant tell u why bc he wasnt all that distinguishable from all the other basic dramatic character archetypes. idk it was a good performanc #i cant explain to u what makes a soap opera character distinct while still being completely generic (they all are)#i also liked his relationship w his girlfriend in the show it was cute. he was evil but they were sweet #nicky please come back. im begging u. as your only general hospital era fan who is your age #i dont wanna watch monsters menendez i reeeeeally dont

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reel-fear · 8 months ago

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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!

grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.

#ramblez #little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao #this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it #hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD #hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions #it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting #But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent #dw Im not going anywhere <3 #also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently #old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD #also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns #he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs #and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get #and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they #dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves #to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent #mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did #so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!

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hella1975 · 1 year ago

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the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me

#like it's really funny bc i worked HARD with back of house bc i knew my job would be significantly easier if they liked me #(it speeds your orders through. you can ask for things without being told to fuck off during a rush. they'll get you food on shift etc)#and also there's a stereotype especially in fancier places where floor staff look down on kitchen staff and i think that's shitty #so i was always going to be try with them and be nice but ALSO when i first started my job it was in a peak era so while these days #we're struggling a lot and have had to employ a lot of college kids that dont know what they're doing #when i joined it was all private school girls that would swan about the place very snootily. so the divide between front and back of hosue #was INTENSE when i joined. and there i was a little state school girlie and the chefs immediately recognised that #and took me under their wing. so even though the class angle doesnt exist so much anymore and theres majority state schoolers #im still very much in with the chefs in a way not many of the other floor staff are. and there's also the fact im not scared of them #like chefs ARE rude and a lot of them DONT like or even respect floor staff but i will GLADLY tell them to fuck off if i think it necessary #and that's a language they understand like ironically there's one chef that doesnt get on with ANY of the waitresses #(i talked about him on another post he's the soup one) but he likes me bc when he tried that rude dismissive act i told him to shove it #and now the other waitresses literally SEND ME TO TALK TO HIM when they have questions/want something bc they know he'll listen to me #and me and the head chef are besties and the one kp will talk OVER THE OTHER WAITRESSES' heads and completely blank them #so she can talk to me and it's all just really funny bc the kitchen staff LOVE me and that's not even me being arrogant #it's like a known thing at work that they love me and im just. a 20 year old 5'2 waitress with my little pearl necklace and blouse #and some tattooed ginger mohawked 6ft chef is there getting angry for me when i come in complaining about a table #or the kp that is literally on probation will give me a sticky toffee pudding and tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone LMAO #hella slaves to capitalism

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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago

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farewell, my idiot son…

#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message #at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute #and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d #so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa #ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~

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arolegos · 18 days ago

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im over it but if she messaged me now i would respond in a heartbeat

#THIS IS WHY IM NOT FUCKIGN ALLOWED TO READ THROUGH OUR OLD CHATS #WHY DID I ?? DO THAT ??? ?#MY FRIEND WAS LITERALLY TELLING ME TO STAPWPOPPPPPP #she was literally in vc going “kaden put that phone DOWN! stop reading”#and i still read.#WHATS WRONG WITH ME #the worst part is i. should NOT. contact her again BC of this. i wouldn't know how to feel and it'd be that situationship all over again #BEING ARO IN A SITUATIONSHIP COMPLICATES THINGS SO FUCKING BADDDDDDDDDDDDD #truly the lloyd garmadon experience #was it casual when you told me i was “that person” for you and you wanted to be that for me too #was it casual when you asked me if i would let you in like a courting proposal #was it casual when you confessed through truth or dare and i didnt fuckkng react #was it casual when you told me months later that you used to like me again. and i said Me too #was it casual when you apologised because i said i couldnt believe anyone (you. especially you) would like me #was it casual when you asked for my number and the first thing you sent me was “im not sure why but i really like you”#“was it casual?” i ask. knowing full well it was not #GUYS IM FUCKING LOSING IT #this was years ago i have to get over it #I AM #IM OVER IT #i literally ammmm but sometimes it comes back up and i #and i lose my mind a little.#blabberpar #guys you need to MUTE THIS TAg #not even my first real relationship has this effect on me. what the fuck

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caterpillarinacave · 8 months ago

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“Oh, you’ll fall” Thelma replied nonchalantly, as if that was somehow comforting “Quite embarrassingly, probably. And quite painfully at least a few times.”

“Ah. Well. ” Matthew cleared his throat uncomfortably, the mild sense of impending doom steadily building. “I suppose we best be going then?”

Thelma smiled up at him, a darling sort of smile, the type that lit up half the room, so genuinely happy that Matthew decided whatever happened in the next hour - no matter how disastrous and or embarrassing - it would be worth it for that smile on his sister’s face.

-Post TLH WIP Snippet

#Found this one scrolling through my drafts to answer asks. Which I will do soon-ish anon I’m going off like a feral cat <3 #Poor Matthew he’s about to get destroyed in a ballet studio by a ten year old #“Im a good dancer I’ll be alright” absolutely wrong his calf muscles will not recover for a week. but he would do it again in a heartbeat #If you’re wondering why our usually confident little bi disaster seems so unsure it’s because-#at this particular moment he’s very concerned that he’s still uncoordinated from the alcoholism and its gonna embarrass her #This a part of my on the surface fluffy Thelma tries to teach Matthew ballet over the course of like two decades #Which is secretly deep and emotional on matthews part #Also to be clear he isn’t *bad* at ballet. Thelma’s just really really good. And really weird.#He loves his sisters so dearly and doesn’t really know what to do with them bless him #Like what if he fucks up??? What if he fucks them up??? What if they hate him??? How could he possibly deserve to be around those two???#Less crisis about Peter. Because Peter is just like. There. Peter is unkillable. Also technically the Lightwoods problem #Matthew Fairchild #The last hours #tsc #thelma Fairchild #Chain of thorns #My writing

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#love that when ur stressed and having a bad time it makes ur menstrual pain worse so you feel even more awful #like. yes. id love to get things done but unfortunately i need to go home immediately at 2pm bc i feel physically ill. vibes wretched.#im considering sleep here at 6pm but 2 b fair i think i only slept 4hrs last night. woof. tomorrow is gonna b interesting #i think the allergic reacting is abt over now tho. like im not really itchy anymore. the rash is still visible but i think its just dry now #bc of the cold. so was i ever reacting to the tatto0? or was it all the medication? im so interesting in what happened #would i not have had a reaction if i hadn't got a bunch of holes poked in my skin? or was it just a coincidence #that the rash started on that arm? ugh. so frustrating. and i think the psychiatrist forgot to actually book my appointment from when we #last talked so idk. maybe if i watch t4skmaster over and over it will heal my soul #ay. its all very frustrating. and i still dont have fucking autoclave access. fuck off. just give me the fucking key code #i just wanna pour plates 🫗 lol that actually looks a lot like pouring solid media. i dont wanna have to steal someone else's card to open #the door. who even locks up an autoclave??? they didnt at my old school and u could wheel a body into that thing. im pretty sure it was #bigger than this one. also there's another unlocked on on campus. why?! i ask ppl and fucking no one knows. that's just how it is #ugh. i should go to sleep. my tummy hurt #unrelated

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phagodyke · 9 months ago

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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries

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attractthecrows · 6 months ago

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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time

#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying #danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell #varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole #warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here #anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp #'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff #amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face #tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet #eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way #to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there #to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell

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synthaphone · 1 year ago

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i was so convinced i only had like 180 or so Ancient Sketchbook Images from 2011-2012 left to edit + upload to toyhouse. i was getting so excited. but no. i have over 500 of them

here's a sample

#Despair #i need a text post tag #im still going to try to blast thru more tomorrow #who am i doing this for; you ask? Me #i NEED the full collection of Oldass OC art i drew #old art #i genuinely get a lot of enjoyment out of looking at it all together and seeing my style evolve over time

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