#also this experience happened while i was texting friend i have feelings for . its a sign

[unganseylike]

briefly fell in love w a farmers market man. after i left, i was sitting on a bench enjoying an empanada i bought when some random dude starts talking to me and asks me out. im like sorry youre not dream farmers market man. and you disrupted my peaceful empanada time.

[serensho]

୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧

୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧

she

in which you and mark have drifted apart...but that doesn't mean he's left your life for good.

warnings: SMUT, coochie eating, angst, surprisingly soft/fluffy, variant!mark, kind of creepy vibes but not too much imo, not canon compliant, fem!reader

wc: 2766

inspired by tyler the creator's she, sycamore tree by kali uchis

a/n: ayy doing something different by having my note at the beginning; thank you sm for the love on my last two posts! i hope you all love this one and reblog, like, reply, request, etc!! this could be imagined with any mark variant imo, but let me know who you think fits this best! also it is pretty light despite its inspo, and i hope you all like it! i had fun writing it and getting out of my comfort zone. enjoy

You and Mark Grayson have lost touch.

 It wasn’t surprising at first. Having grown up with him and watching his transformation from ordinary high schooler to superhero from only a few doors down– it seemed only natural that he would act differently, make new friends and find new hobbies. 

The two of you drifted apart as he began fighting crime, talking to girls, and the friendship that was once so strong between you fizzled out. There wasn’t any animosity– at least you tried not to harbor any– but it was only natural that a sense of bitterness began to fester as he stopped trying. 

He stopped coming over late at night after a fight with a petty villain, stopped walking you home, simply stopped. And you tried to reach out to him, to let him know you would always be there but he found comfort elsewhere. Which was fine. He was following a different path, one that was extraordinary compared to your ordinary experience going to the nearby college sometimes crossing paths with William and Amber. 

Last you heard she and Mark had broken up and he was now with Atom Eve. But a lot had been happening to Mark recently with the arrival of different versions of him wreaking havoc on Earth, and his subsequent fight with some sort of super strong hero from a completely different planet. You couldn’t help but worry for him, worry for Debbie and his little brother, Oliver. 

You still cared despite the loss of contact and that was what prompted you to try to write a text to him, hoping that his number hadn’t changed. However, it sat in your messages, too scared to send it. You stewed over it, reread it probably a hundred times, before giving up on it. Weeks passed by and you hadn’t read or watched anything in the news about Invincible, deeming that that was probably a good thing. 

Which was why when you saw him waiting on the sidewalk in front of your house after dark one night was so weird. At least you were pretty sure it was him. Deciding to investigate further, you padded downstairs from your bedroom to the front door, slipping on a pair of shoes and walking outside, turning on the flashlight of your phone while approaching the pavement. Only to find that Mark– whoever had been waiting outside had left without a trace. You called out into the night, looking around before going inside, but you couldn’t shake the feeling as though something, someone had been watching you. You walked back upstairs and decided to try to relax, pamper yourself for tonight to rid yourself of the sensation.

From far above in the sky, Mark held a hand over his mouth as he chuckled. Your cute chirp and frightened look on your face excited him. Back in his home universe, you hadn’t been so close to him– it was a wonder why this world’s Mark hadn’t taken advantage of your proximity but after days of observation, weeks, Mark realized that you two weren’t together, weren’t even friends. That was something he would be sure to remedy. But he couldn’t rush it no, that would be too suspicious. He tapped his chin in thought as he flew to your bedroom window. Your light was still on, blinds open to let the moonlight in, and he quickly flew to hide behind a nearby tree as you approached the window– only to open it to let the cool night air flow into your room. He could hear your sweet humming and watched as you sat down on your bed to brush your hair. He imagined running his hands through it, brushing it himself, pulling it– but it got so much better when you began undressing right before his very eyes. 

You hummed along to a soft tune as you applied velvety lotion along your body, massaging your thighs, hips, before moving up to your chest. You plopped down on your bed again, putting some on your arms before redressing into a silky pajama set and turning your lights off. 

Mark was hoping for you to do more. To touch yourself, rub and pinch your nipples, play with your clit until he could hear you mewling and crying out in pleasure– but he supposed he would have to be the one to pull those sweet sounds from you instead.

In the days that followed Mark began to slowly insert himself back into your life. He began leaving signs, walking throughout your house leaving doors and windows open so he could watch you later that day. He followed you around as you drove to work, college, to the grocery store–meanwhile you had been noticing these things, realizing that you hadn’t left your bedroom window open all day…Had you? 

Mark continued to stay hidden, biding his time for the perfect moment to approach you but he wanted to learn more about you in this world, and found himself falling for you all over again. As luck would have it, that perfect moment arose the same day this world’s Invincible made headlines after having been in a particularly nasty fight with another villain. 

You paced your room, contemplating sending that text to Mark. It certainly couldn’t hurt, could it? It was simple and to the point–Saw what happened, hope you’re doing alright. I’m always here if you need to talk. You took a deep breath as you collapsed onto your bed afterwards, the night hours becoming later as you tried to distract yourself in anticipation of a response. You were reading a book as your phone suddenly buzzed, the screen lighting. Your heart jumped as you scrambled to grab it, the message reading, I’m alright. Just been dealing with a lot, hope you’re okay, too. 

Well, at least it was something. A sense of relief washed over you–quickly being followed with panic as a knock came from your window. You got up and opened it, only to see–

“Mark!? Holy shit, how are you–what are you doing here right now?” You gasped as he hovered into your room and landed.

Something was up…you had just seen him fighting for his life on television and now he was wearing a new suit and visiting your bedroom after so many years?

“I had to see you,” he said as he looked you up and down. God, you looked even better up close.

“I thought you were hurt? How did you heal so fast?” you shook your head as you grabbed his arm, assessing him for injuries. None. You turned him around, seeing there wasn’t even a rip in this new suit. But he looked different in it, somehow. More muscular, like he filled it out more but maybe it was just the difference seeing him in person and on a screen. Your hands trailed along his body as you grabbed both of his hands in yours. Realizing what you were doing, checking him out and gawking, you dropped them as you turned around and cleared your throat, embarrassed. 

“It’s my powers. I’m good as new, now,” he said as he stretched, missing your soft hands on his body already. 

You frowned as you turned back to face him. “Mark, what are you doing in my room? We haven’t spoken in years. I mean, just because I sent you that text doesn’t mean I was expecting you to visit or–or that we can suddenly go back to what we used to be.”

Mark walked toward you as you backed away from him. Seriously, what was up with him? 

Noticing your apprehension he began taking off the face piece of his suit, grabbing your hands. “I’ve missed you. And that text…” he trailed off. What the fuck could he say that wouldn’t alert you to the fact that he wasn’t your Mark? “I–I realized that I wanna make up for the time we’ve lost together. It’s you I should’ve been giving my time and attention to, not anything else,” he reasoned, looking into your eyes deeply. 

You looked down to your hands, intertwined in his. You shook your head, thoughts running wild. You had harbored a crush on him when you two were friends. But he was with Eve, was he not? This all seemed to be some sort of dream, a fantasy. 

You sighed before meeting his longing gaze. “Mark, you have a girlfriend. I’m not some sort of boyfriend-stealer. I don’t know who you think you’re fooling right now, but you need to stop. It isn’t fair.”

His brows raised as he scowled. “I don’t care about her, we’re done. Her, those other girls, they were just distractions, I thought that I wanted them but my judgment was clouded. Now, I see what’s been in front of me this whole time,” he pulled you closer to him, still holding hands. He rubbed comforting circles as you looked at his face, carefully examining his features. 

His body was definitely more muscular in person– but his face was the same Mark you had been missing, yearning for. He seemed aged somehow, eyes sad but still holding that same depth you remembered. Which was what prompted you to lean into him, breaking your hands apart to rest one on his chest as you looked up at him. 

Everything was falling into place, perfectly.

“Mark, I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to think right now. Maybe this is stupid, but I…I believe you.”

You could feel his heartbeat quicken, from your touch or words you were unsure, as his hand which had been rubbing those comforting circles, stilled, tightening before releasing entirely. 

Mark’s eyes darkened, his gaze dropping to your lips before flicking back to your eyes. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he murmured, his voice huskier now, lower. There was something dangerous, electric, in the way he spoke, as though he was holding back.

Your chest tightened as you leaned in closer, your lips just inches from his. “I missed you too,” you whispered, barely audible, feeling the weight of everything you hadn’t said in years. It all came crashing down now, in this moment—every longing glance, every unspoken word. 

Without thinking, you rose up on your toes, closing the gap between you, your lips brushing his in the lightest of touches. For a second, you hesitated, your heart pounding in your ears as you pulled back just enough to see his face, wondering if you’d gone too far.

But Mark’s reaction was immediate. His hand slid up, cradling the back of your neck, pulling you in for a deeper kiss. This time, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty. His lips crashed against yours with a kind of desperation, like he’d been starving for this for as long as you had. The kiss was firm, claiming, his other hand slipping down to rest on your waist, fingers curling possessively around your side.

You gasped against his mouth as his body pressed closer, his heat enveloping you. Every touch, every sensation felt amplified—the brush of his lips, the way his hand tugged lightly at your hair as he kissed you harder. Your fingers dug into his chest, feeling the solid muscle beneath, and you could feel the tension in his body, something tight and wanting, waiting to be released.

“Mark…” you breathed, breaking the kiss for a moment as you leaned your forehead against his, your lips swollen and tingling from the intensity of it all. His eyes were clouded with desire as he stared down at you, his thumb brushing gently over your bottom lip.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he muttered, his voice rough with need. “I’m not letting you go this time.”

You shivered at the possessiveness in his tone, your body responding in ways you couldn’t control. His hands slid down your waist, pulling you against him, and you could feel the hardness of his body pressed firmly against yours. The air between you felt thick with desire, each breath you took seemed to pull you closer.

The line between wanting and restraint blurred as his lips found your neck, leaving slow, heated kisses along your skin, each one sending a shock of pleasure through you. You couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped your lips as he nipped lightly at the sensitive skin beneath your ear, his hands roaming lower, fingers brushing the curve of your hips.

Your pulse quickened, your body arching instinctively against him as his hands found the hem of your shirt, teasingly sliding beneath the fabric to touch your bare skin. His touch was warm, firm, but careful, like he was savoring every second of this moment. He helped you out of your top as he took in the sight of your breasts. 

You moved to cover yourself before Mark grabbed you bridal style, placing you on your bed as he quickly rid himself of the rest of his suit, completely bare before you. 

“Don’t be shy, baby. Lemme show you how much I want you,” he said as he climbed on top of you, pulling you into a long kiss. While your lips were locked, his hands came down to palm your breasts, pinching and pulling at your nipples. Mark pulled away from you, moving lower, sucking and kissing as he fondled one of your tits, bringing the other between his warm, wet mouth as he began suckling. 

You arched your back in pleasure as you brought a hand to pull at his hair as you moaned. 

“Oh, Mark–Please!”

He pulled away from you and tilted his head coyly. “Tell me what you want,” he said in a low tone as he moved his mouth to your other breast, giving it the same treatment. “I-I don’t know I want–want more,” you whimpered as the hand that was in his hair came to grab at the pillow under your head.

Mark stopped his efforts on your chest and moved lower, using both hands to spread your legs as he appraised the heat between your thighs. “Poor thing. She’s begging for some attention, you know that?” 

Mark’s strong arms kept your legs apart as you squirmed under his touch. He placed light kisses along your inner thighs before he brought his mouth against your clit and sucked. Hard. You cried out in bliss as Mark continued licking, and sucking, swallowing your essence as you writhed under his touch. 

Mark's tongue worked expertly, flicking against your sensitive clit with a rhythm that made your body tense and shiver with every stroke. His grip on your thighs tightened, holding you firmly in place as you bucked against him, lost in the overwhelming pleasure.

Your fingers gripped the sheets, your head falling back as the intense sensation built inside you, a fire spreading through your core. "M-Mark..." you gasped, your voice trembling as his mouth moved faster, the wet sounds of his tongue sending electric jolts through your body. He moaned against you, the vibrations sending you even closer to the edge.

Just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, his hand slid up, teasing your entrance with his fingers before thrusting them inside, curling just right. The sudden fullness made you cry out louder, your hips lifting off the bed as the pleasure crested. His tongue and fingers worked in perfect harmony, pushing you higher, deeper, until the pressure inside you finally broke.

You shattered, waves of ecstasy crashing over you as your body shook uncontrollably. Your cries echoed through the room, your thighs trembling around his head as he continued, drawing out every last bit of your orgasm until you were spent, breathless, and completely undone.

Slowly, he pulled away, kissing your inner thighs tenderly as you tried to catch your breath, your body still trembling from the aftershocks. Mark looked up at you, his lips glistening with your arousal, his eyes dark with satisfaction as he crawled back up to hover over you.

"That," he murmured, brushing a stray hair from your face, "was only the beginning." But the intensity of his gaze softened as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, leaving you breathless all over again.

You registered the sound of your phone buzzing, but with Mark on top of you, loving you, the edges of your mind fuzzy and melting, you willfully ignored it. 

For now, you were his, and the world outside didn’t matter anymore. Mark was different–but did it really matter to you all that much if it gave you the chance to be his? 

tags: @weeb-simp-11

[lavndrmy]

Astro Observations #5 (Based on My Placements) 🪽

hey guys! its been a long time since I did these but here you go. These are only based on what I feel and experience so chill back and relax 🤍

❤️‍🔥 Leo Rising: Yess I do love this placement it really gives me that cheerful vibrant youthful energy I always feel like I shine when I walk into a room and everyone kinda just stares at you I’m the introverted Leo rising tho lol but yeah no I don’t have thick shiny hair, bummer 😩 Overall 7/10

❤️‍🔥 Virgo Sun: I actually love this placement because it keeps me grounded and having that calm energy kinda book smart energy but the downside of it is having to deal with anxiety and shit phew 😮‍💨 Overall 7/10

❤️‍🔥 Libra Moon: Tbh I kinda hate having libra placements in my chart because it gives me that people pleaser energy having to please everyone and needing to fall in love and having crushes it’s exhausting but also having that pretty popular girl energy sometimes 💅🏼 Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥 Virgo Mercury: Yesss I feel smart and intelligent lol but no really I actually adore this placement I wouldn’t have it any other way the brutal honesty and overthinking is real don’t get me started but yeah we only talk when we DO feel like it other than that we just observe most times 🤓 Overall 8/10

❤️‍🔥 Libra Venus: Oh gosh another libra placement great. nah but for real feeling the need to be in relationships all the time and needing reassurance is a big no for me my venus-saturn just don’t allow it to happen its kinda sad being a full time lover girl but YES we do flirt but we can be loyal if treated properly 🦋 Overall 5/10

❤️‍🔥 Scorpio Mars: Winner award goes to this placement! Yes its obvious I’m in love with this placement it really gives me energy in every aspect and determination the passion and boi oh boi I feel sexy most times the downside of it is yes the cliche revenge and jealousy yeah, not so good 💋 Overall 10/10

❤️‍🔥 Sun in 1st house: Yeah I do vibe with this its just that no I don’t have no leadership qualities as everyone been telling and yes I hate having to attract attention all the time and being put in a spotlight but the aura is amicable you can’t deny 👑 Overall 7/10

❤️‍🔥 Moon in 2nd house: Foood indeed. I’m in love with food whenever I feel overwhelmed I will eat my favorite food if that what it takes to keep my emotions in check and yes I love keeping expensive material possessions and having a financial stability is also a mood boast 💸 Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥 Mercury in 1st house: Ah yes the classic I’m an intelligent thinker placement nah but for real I do feel intelligent most times lol but yess the feeling the need to have all the information and knowledge is brilliant but also having to be that one witty funny friend that everyone has 🥸 Overall 8/10

❤️‍🔥 Venus in 3rd house: Woah the classic send me a love letter and poetry I’m so in love with this I feel charming and flirty having the advantage to keep a smooth conversations between an admirer and people its just very easy to navigate 💌 Overall 9/10

❤️‍🔥 Mars in 3rd house: Say that again and I’ll roast you and give you all my brutal honesty and receipts while we argue energy haha no but for real having to argue with people online most times just verbal argument when things do get heated 🗣️ Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥 Mercury Retrograde: Speech delay? Talking and having to have a conversation with others feels heavy and misunderstood always made of fun of with the way I speak and text, having no trouble communicating with another mercury retrograde natal 📝 Overall 4/10

❤️‍🔥 Sun-Mars: It gives me energy? And yes I have a sextile aspect so it really do flows nicely and gives the endurance and energy physically and mentally it also gives you the need to serve in a military or navy career to release that physical energy that you need and yes we do have anger issues despite the positive aspect 🔥 Overall 8/10

❤️‍🔥 Moon-pluto: I am an emotional wreck rollercoaster yes I do feel everything so intense to the point that I feel numb at most times emotions are all over the place but I do hide my emotions pretty well when I need to. Having to experience that dark energy tho and knowing people’s intentions and be right 🎢 Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥 Venus-Saturn: Yes and no I have a love-hate relationships with this placement because this placement keeps me in check and yes I can be loyal despite having an air venus, surprised. And no I hate having to wait for the love an actual love that you really deserve for a long time while having to watch others fall in love 💔 Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥Mars-Jupiter: Reckless and Impulsive. This placement makes me feel goofy and funny lol and willing to take risk no matter how dangerous the outcome is the never ending energy but people do say I look funny when I get angry which pissed me off ngl 🥶 Overall 6/10

❤️‍🔥 Mars-Ascendant: Yes the bad bitch energyy indeed. I feel bad and sexy most times and yes I do get angry and do display that emotions on my face no matter how hard I hide it but downside of it is having to be misunderstood and people having bone to pick on you 👄 Overall 8/10

[marioluigifan134]

The Voice of Skeeter/Henry about Nora/Starbitedreams/UmbreonDarkEdge

Hello, this is Nickolas of Miiblr writing for a brief moment here, I need to address what is really happening between us (more specifically, a user named @patti-mayonnaise A.K.A. Skeeter/Henry) and Nora/Starbitedreams, because I am getting really sick of watching people defend this person when they are not an innocent person at all. I will give this post to Skeeter's side now, here's his side of what is going on.

This is about Skeeter's relationship with Starbite.

Everything Skeeter/Henry writes will be in black text to avoid confusion (my text is in purple).

Also, there are some Trigger Warnings that I want to warn you all about, as this post contains sexually explicit and suggestive content and manipulation!

hey. im henry (starby's ex boyfriend, who came out about his actions to the mods.) fuck idk where to begin. maybe i should start with the harmless stuff because god i suck with my words starbys obsessive behavior always bothered me when i was with him. i felt like it'd be impossible for me to even speak to him because of how clingy he could get. this also came to play when i started to get f/os (i use self shipping as a coping mechanism which i guess.. pissed him off??)

ah! speaking of his bpd! he would blame it on literally everything. especially his hypersexuality. hell, he even thought making porn of IRL ME, WHOS 15 (he drew it when i was 14) WOULD BE OK??? STARBY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING THAT SHIT CAN GET YOU IN TROUBLE

before you say "oh henry!! why didn't you stop him??" well with the given ss, i didn't have a choice. considering i was his bf at the time, i thought it'd be best to keep my mouth shut and let him do what he wants, but i was very uncomfy. considering im asexual

starby, YOU. ARE. MY. BOYFRIEND. i should be having to ask you to comfort me, ffs!!

now here's the flat out racism. before september 8th hit and i was still 14, i was talking to starby about how my dad didn't give me a quince (for personal reasons, even tho its our tradition) and with one google search, heres what he had to say

"pedophile ass shit" STARBY THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS??? AT LEAST THATS NOT HOW MY FAMILY DOES IT??? you're not even mexican yourself so how do you know???? insensitive ass

anyways moving on, going back to my self ship discussion, he would get very butthurt about my obsessions and f/os (mostly doug, my comfort character and bravoman, my f/o (who is portrayed without his suit and his mii form) which i find very ironic considering he would not stfu about wanting to fuck an old man (taizo hori)

(context for the last two images) i was in a doug server with him (since he asked and i figured cuz hes OBSESSED) with me and idk i guess he got jealous that i wasnt in the same fandom as him so he found reasons for me to not like doug??? idk but the way he worded it was very rude and i was reached out by two mods and the server owner with how uncomfortable he made everyone felt. so eventually he got banned

..thats all i have to say. bottom line is that i hope he gets the help he needs.

henry out

Alright, Nickolas is back, and I want to mention that me and my friends also had our fair share of experiences with Nora. While it is not finished (as far as I know), I feel the need to share the doc explaining them here, because what it contains should tell you everything in our true experiences.

[beyondthesefourwalls]

An Aviation Special

Summary: You had always wanted to experience Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but when it starts to go sideways thanks to your travel companions, you fear the whole trip, maybe even the whole city, has been ruined for you. But then a handsome stranger swoops in when some drunk idiot gets too handsy, and your night takes an unexpected turn for the better. 

Pairing: Javy Machado x Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 3.5K 

Warnings: Fluff galore, language, drunk idiots and handsy men, mentions of flashing. 

Notes: Written for @thedroneranger's pick your poison challenge, with a Mardi Gras board of my dreams. 

---

----

You were doing your best not to panic, choosing instead to focus on the annoyance coursing through your body instead. Your sister and her friends, her stupid, reckless friends, had done what they always did and got a little too wild, and while you had slipped away to the bathroom, they thought it would be a great idea to switch bars. Instead of waiting for you, they had shot a text to the Bachelorette Bead Bash group chat that you had created, telling you where to meet them. Only now you were there, and they were nowhere to be found. And to top it all off, your phone was dead. 

“Stupid, stupid bridesmaids,” you muttered under your breath, pushing through the rowdy crowd of people none-too-gently to get to the bar. You tried not to cringe when you felt how sticky it was, immediately withdrawing your hands. “Excuse me,” you said, speaking a little louder when at first you didn’t get the bartender’s attention. He turned to you with a bored, exasperated look on his face, clearly annoyed with all the drunk tourists taking up space. “Do you happen to have a phone charger? I just need it for long enough to make one phone call, I promise.” 

“No, sorry.” 

You groaned as he walked away without another word, resisting the urge to stomp your foot in frustration. This was just your luck. 

“I don’t have a charger, but flash your tits for me, gorgeous, and I’ll give you some of these beads.” 

You turned your head to the drunk idiot standing far too close to you, a scowl on your deep purple painted lips as he shook the aforementioned colorful beads in your face. He reeked of sweat and cheap liquor and his eyes were glazed over as he leered at you. 

“How about you take those beads and strangle yourself with them instead?” you snarked back, and to your disgust, the guy and his buddies only laughed. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, turning away from him and taking a step to start forcing yourself through the throngs of bodies that were almost certainly violating some sort of fire code. You didn’t get far before a hand was grabbing your arm, jolting you back. 

“Come on, baby, you know you want to.” 

The panic was trying its best to creep up again, but the annoyance was also morphing into anger as you narrowed your eyes. You were contemplating the risk of slapping him across the face when a voice spoke up from beside you. 

“I think she said no, man. But those girls over there look pretty eager.” 

The guy almost stumbled in his intoxication when he turned to see where the newcomer was indicating, shouting in excitement at the view of three women standing on a table pulling their shirts up as plastic flung in their direction. Him and his friends moved in that direction without another glance at you. The bouncer of the bar was also heading their way, and you breathed a sigh of relief that not only were the guys leaving you alone, but hopefully those women would make it out of here safely, too. 

“Pawning my problem off on other women goes against every feminist bone in my body,” you said, turning for the first time to put a face to the voice who had come to your rescue. You’re met with a startling pair of dark eyes and a jawline that should be illegal. His smile was warm and amused, and despite all the irritation you were feeling, you couldn’t help but take a moment and think damn. 

“It seemed like they would welcome the attention a lot more than you were,” he justified, and his voice was as smooth this time as it was the first time he spoke. You gave a noncommittal hum in response, and he raised a thick eyebrow as his smile grew. “You’re welcome.” 

“I didn’t say thank you.” 

“Were you planning to?” he challenged, and you felt a fluttering in your stomach at his playful tone. You contemplated for a moment, eyes narrowed and colorful lips pursed. You could see the amusement dancing in his gaze as he stared back at you, waiting. 

“Thank you,” you finally said, only a little bit begrudgingly, and the stranger nodded in satisfaction. 

“You’re welcome,” he repeated. “Also, there’s a place a few bars down that has a charging station. I overheard you asking the bartender.” 

"Oh my god," you groaned in relief, "are you serious?" 

He laughed, the sound washing over you. He motioned for you to follow him through the crowd toward the exit. You hesitated for a moment, remembering that you were in a city you had never been in before during their busiest tourist week of the year, and you didn't know this man. But then a cheer came from the corner, and when you glanced over, one of the guys from earlier had climbed on the table and taken off his shirt, plastic beads flying everywhere. You winced and turned back, nodding once. As you made your way out of the bar and onto the bustling street, you couldn't help but notice how effortlessly he navigated through the chaos. 

"I'm Javy, by the way," he offered once you made it onto the sidewalk. 

"Nice to meet you," you replied, offering up your name in return. He stuck close to you as he guided you down the overly crowded streets. You tried your best to ignore the lingering unease that clung to the back of your mind, but you found that his confident demeanor made it easy. "Are you a local?" you asked. 

He flashed you a charming smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I used to be," he explained. "I grew up here, but I live in California currently. But New Orleans will always be home in a lot of ways. I take it you're not?" 

"No," you snorted, narrowly avoiding running into someone running in the opposite direction. Your arm brushed against Javy's as you pushed slightly closer to him, and you tried to ignore the heat that the slight touch caused. "I'm here for my sister's bachelorette party. The city had always been on our bucket list to travel to together, but then her friends decided they wanted to overtake the whole trip and make it Mardi Gras of all times." 

"I take it you don't like these friends?" he asked, a hint of humor in his voice. 

You gave him the biggest smile you had since you met him a few minutes ago, and he was laughing before you even spoke the words. "Understatement of the century."

You go on to tell him about how they had pretty much blown the itinerary you had carefully crafted as maid of honor, including how they left to go to the next bar without you, and then not been there when you showed up. You weren't sure why you were telling a man you didn't know all of this, but it felt good to say it out loud nonetheless. 

"They sound like they suck," he said plainly once you were done explaining. You let out a very unladylike snort as you agreed. 

"What about you?" you asked, "what brings you back?" 

"Ironically enough, I'm here for my best friend's bachelor party. There may have been an incident with a few of the groomsmen getting drinks thrown on them, and I ran into one of my cousins at the bar we were just at, so I told them I'd meet up with them once they came back out from going back to the hotel to change." He flashed you another smile, his eyes shining with a genuine warmth. "I suppose everything happens for a reason, though." 

You chuckled, and he winked as you arrived at what you guessed was your destination. Javy held the door open for you, gesturing for you to enter first. Inside, the bar was as lively as the others you had been to, but the atmosphere was strangely inviting. You followed as he led you to the back corner where a row of charging stations lined the wall. You tried not to groan when you saw all of them were in use. 

“Clearly I’m not the only one in New Orleans who went out without a fully charged phone tonight,” you muttered under your breath. A gentle hand on your arm had you turning your gaze to the man who had led you here, his dark, kind eyes meeting yours. 

“Let me buy you a drink while you wait for one to open up.” 

You hesitated for a moment, weighing your options. There was something about Javy that intrigued you, a magnetic pull that you hadn't felt in a very long time that made you want to spend more time in his company. You desperately needed to charge your phone and get in touch with your sister and her friends, so you'd be waiting here no matter what anyway...there was no harm in a drink, you rationalized. 

"Sure," you finally said, unable to resist his charming smile. "A drink sounds great." 

You followed him to the bar, squeezing through the crowd until you found a spot where you could lean against the counter.

As you waited for someone behind the bar to notice you, Javy leaned in closer, his warm breath brushing against your ear. "What would you like?" he asked, his voice tinged with what you thought was anticipation.

You turned to face him, feeling a jolt of electricity shoot through your veins as your eyes met. His gaze was intense, yet inviting, pulling you into a world of possibilities. "Surprise me," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the clamor of the bar.

With a mischievous grin, Javy flagged down the bartender. You couldn't hear what it was that he ordered, but before long, two stemmed cocktail glasses filled with a vibrant purple liquid garnished with a lemon peel and a deep red cherry were set down in front of you. "Mardi Gras special?" you asked with an eyebrow raise. He laughed as he grabbed both drinks and then nodded his head toward one of the barstools at the very end of the charging station that had just opened up. You hurried over to it before someone else could, sliding onto the barstool almost clumsily. Javy made himself comfortable leaning against the counter beside your stool, facing you. He handed you one of the drinks after you had plugged your dead phone in. Making the conscious decision to enjoy your time with him as much as you could, you placed the screen face down. 

"It's called an Aviation, actually." 

He looked almost amused as he brought the drink to his lips. You studied him closely as you did the same, letting the flavors of the gin and lemon dance on your tastebuds. 

"What do you think?" he asked. 

"It's delicious." 

"I'm glad you like it," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He watched you intently, and you didn't miss the way his eyes flickered to your lips when you licked away a stray drop of the liquid when you took another sip. The air crackled with tension, and you had to fight the urge to lean closer to him. He cleared his throat, looking away momentarily. You tampered down the shiver that threatened to run through you. 

"So why'd you leave New Orleans?" you asked, breaking the silence. 

"Work," he explained."I'm in the Navy, so I've lived all over the place." 

"The Navy, huh?" 

He hummed in confirmation.That glint in his eyes that made you feel like you were missing something was back, and your eyes narrowed in curiosity. "And what do you do in the Navy?"

A smirk played on his lips. He tried to cover it by taking another sip of his drink, but you saw right through it. He set the glass down, folding his hands together as he stared at you. "I'm an aviator." 

You paused for a beat, looking down at the purple drink before looking back at him, the joke you had been missing clicking into place in your head. 

"Okay," you said slowly, and Javy was already chuckling from his spot beside you. "I see what you did here." 

His laughter was loud, but not obnoxiously so, instead surrounding you like a comforting warmth. You couldn't help but join in with him, your giggles blending seamlessly with his. 

The atmosphere around you seemed to fade into the background as the two of you talked, the conversation flowing easily between you. The more you learned about Javy, the more intrigued you became. His passion for flying was evident in every word he spoke, and it was contagious. You found yourself hanging onto his every word, mesmerized by his experiences and adventures. And when you spoke, he listened with genuine interest, occasionally interjecting with laughter or witty remarks. The more you talked, the more drawn you felt to him. There was something about his easy charm and attentive nature that made you feel seen and understood.

Eventually, your phone buzzed with a notification, indicating that it had finally regained some charge. Reluctantly, you flipped it over and glanced at the screen. Reading through the few messages that you missed in the chat, you snorted in disbelief. "My sister and three of her bridesmaids started throwing up at the last bar they went to." 

"Yikes," Javy winced. "Are they okay?" 

Your heart fluttered at the concern he showed for people he didn't even know. Damn damn damn. 

"They're fine," you assured him with a small smile. "The other two have already dragged them back to the hotel to sleep it off. Guess the night is over." 

You felt sad as you said the words. The night had started a shit show, but talking to Javy had turned it around. You weren't really ready for it to come to an end just yet. 

As you reached to unplug your phone, Javy's hand gently clasped yours, halting your movement. "You don't need to rush off just yet," he said softly, his warm gaze holding yours. "Why don't you come hang out with me and my friends instead?" 

You looked at him in surprise, shocked by the offer. 

"Don't you think your best friend will be mad that I'm crashing his bachelor party?" 

"Not even a little bit," he assured you. "They're all good guys, I promise." 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated. 

You knew that you should decline. Going off with a group of strangers in a city you barely knew didn't exactly scream "intelligent decision." Still, you found that you wanted to take him up on it. 

Reading the apprehension on your face, Javy continued on, more eager now as he tried to convince you. "Look, as a Louisiana boy, I can't bring myself to allow you to leave New Orleans without actually enjoying yourself. You deserve to have a good time." His hand settled on yours again and squeezed gently. When he spoke, he was shyer than he had been all night. "And if I'm being honest with myself...the last thirty minutes with you have been the highlight of my trip home, and that's saying something. I'm not really ready for it to end yet." 

His words sent a shiver down your spine. You gazed into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit or ulterior motive. But all you found was sincerity and an excitement that you felt flicker in you, too. Against your better judgment, you nodded. You were tired of playing by the rules, tired of always being the responsible one. Maybe tonight could be different.

"Alright," you conceded, unable to hide the smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Lead the way."

Javy's grin widened, and he intertwined his fingers with yours before guiding you out of the crowded bar. The night air hit you with a welcome change as you followed him through the lively streets. 

His friends waited at a bar just a few blocks away. As you approached, their laughter and boisterous conversation spilled onto the sidewalk. When they saw Javy walking hand in hand with you, their eyes widened with surprise. Almost instantly, the cat calls started. 

Javy rolled his eyes, and you couldn't help but laugh lightly as you leant against him. "Yeah, yeah. Knock it off." 

He introduced you to each of his friends amongst their teasing. They were a rowdy group, and it wasn't hard to see how much they cared for each other. The camaraderie instantly calmed you. 

It was surprisingly easy, letting yourself have fun with this group of strangers. They accepted your presence like it was nothing, involving you in every conversation and debate they had, and within a few hours, you felt like you had known them for a lot longer than you really had. The night continued on, a whirlwind of pretty purple drinks and colorful masks and exuberant laughter. Vibrant jazz music reverberated through the air, the streets full of purple, gold and green chaos. You could feel the pulsating energy of the city surging through you, and this is exactly why you had always wanted to come here. 

At some point, Javy grabbed your hand, beckoning you to dance with him. You giggled happily as he twirled you. The world around you melted away, leaving only the pulsating music and the warmth of his touch. You were tipsy from all the alcohol and the thrill of an unexpected night with a man who made you feel something no one else ever has. You wished it wouldn’t have to end.

“Me either,” he said, making you realize you had said that out loud. But instead of feeling embarrassed at your slip, you giggled and leant into him further. 

“I mean it,” you insisted. Javy’s smile had become familiar to you tonight, and the butterflies erupted in your stomach just as they had the last few hours when he flashed it in your direction. “You know, you’d make the perfect wedding date, if only you didn’t live so far away.” 

He hummed in what you thought was agreement, but didn’t say anything. The look he gave you was contemplative, like there was something he was trying to figure out. “What?” you asked. 

“When’s the wedding?” 

You threw your head back in laughter, realizing what he was getting at. “Still a few months away. You’ll have completely forgotten about me by then, I’m sure.” 

Javy's eyes sparkled as he pulled you even closer, his hand still holding yours tightly. "Oh, I highly doubt that," he replied, and the way his voice dropped sent shivers down your spine. "Seriously. When's the wedding?" 

"The second weekend in May." 

"If I'm not deployed, I'll be there." 

You shook your head in disbelief as more giggles escaped, completely enraptured by this man. "Sure, Javy." 

His smile softened and he raised a hand to cup your face, and you couldn't help but instinctively lean into his touch as his thumb brushed your skin. "I mean it. I want to be there. With you." You searched his eyes for a long moment, searching for anything other than the sincerity and tenderness staring back at you. You felt a rush of emotions when you found none. In that moment, looking at you the way that he was, he felt like so much more than just a stranger you met on a wild night out in New Orleans. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you raised on your toes and pressed your lips against his. 

The kiss was soft at first, gentle and sweet, but it quickly deepened into something more passionate. For a moment, you hesitated, wondering if this was the right thing to do, but then you realized that you didn't care. You found yourself lost in him, and everything else faded away. All of the tension that had been building between the two of you that night was pushed into this one moment. You nearly stumbled at the intensity, but Javy just pulled you closer and kissed you harder. He tasted like gin and lemons and cherry from the purple drink you both had been drinking all night, and you realized it tasted even better from him. 

Finally, the two of you broke apart, both panting heavily. You gazed at each other as you tried to catch your breath. Your heart was pounding in your chest as he brushed some of your hair out of your face. 

You swallowed thickly before speaking, your voice trembling just slightly. "I want you there, too," you said, and you knew it was crazy, but you also knew you meant it. 

A slow grin spread across his face, and before you could say anything else, Javy's lips were back on yours.

----------

Main Masterlist

Notes: I'm kind of feeling a part two? Maybe? I'm actually so in love with this man, it's unreal.

Thanks to @thedroneranger for the incredible banner, and to @roosterforme @mak-32 for their help, and to @sylviebell for catching an embarrassing amount of typos after I thought I was already done editing

[onepiecepetalfanfics089]

Yandere vampire Luffy getting jealous and breaking the nose of one of his vampy friends trying to bite on his precious Reader?

Belong To Me~..

College student reader!! X yandere vampire! Luffy!

Halloween special~

Fluttering your eyes open, you opened your eyes and sat up in your bed to face the world. Looking around, you noticed it was a bit dark..the curtains were closed after all.

“It’s so dark in here..isn’t supposed to be a bit sunny today..?”

You asked to yourself, sitting up out of your bed, you got up and turned to your curtains. Opening then to the reveal the glorious sunlight shining through. Of course the weather wasn’t as hot though. A smile made its way onto your lips as you were just about to comment on the weather, especially for Halloween season you heard a hiss.

A hiss of pain, like someone was behind you and felt pain from the..sunlight..?

Immediately, you turned around to look at what was behind you but there you saw nothing. In the shadows you saw nothing lurking around..

Or so you thought..

Little did you know that there was a certain vampire with obsidian black hair and big wide eyes filled with curiosity and adventure. A vampire that was completely..compelled by you.

Luffy blew on his wing as quietly as he could, but also trying to heal it from the sunlight you just had to shine at this time of day!

He huffed, his eyes following your every move while you walked around the room. Who knows how long he’s been staying in your apartment..one day he found you and couldn’t let go..he would never forget that one fateful rainy day.

The wind was crisp as autumn was coming to a close. The moon was shining bright as a light in a dark room. Luffy unfortunately, was having a bit too much fun in his bat form that night and was being a little reckless..he was laying on the wet floor, tired, hurt and hungry. But then you came. You came and rescued him from who knows what could’ve happen to him. You fed him, cared for him and loved him. All in his bat form but that still counts for something right?!

His heart fluttered as he grinned, showing his white shiny fangs along with his other pearly white teeth. Just look at you..those eyes..that hair..that smile.

He just had to protect you no matter what..soon, you’d be his..

And nothing could change that.

He was absolutely sure of it, oh so delusional..his grin didn’t even falter at all as he jumped from the bookshelf and turned into his bat form, flying after you when he saw you leave out the front door while you were talking on the phone, trying to keep quiet.

The sound of your phone ringing got your attention as you picked it up from your bag and answered it, the beeping finally stopping. Now your eyes were locked on where you were going but still you kept your mind open to whoever was calling you so suddenly just when classes were about to start.

“Hey,Y/N!!”

Your eyes lit up as soon as you heard that voice, it was your best friend who was also attending the school you were currently going to! But what did they want?

“Hey,(F/N) what’s up? You know we’ll see each other in class right?”

“Yeah i know! But I just wanted to make sure about one thing, you’re going to the Halloween party one of the students is throwing tonight right? It’s gonna be huge!!”

You thought about for a second..would a part be good for you?..you liked Halloween..and you could get a a taste of the college experience better..sure why not!

You have been feeling a bit..watched lately..

A smile made its way onto your lips as you opened up the door to your first class of the day.

“You bet your ass I am!”

.

.

.

.

.

.

When you walked into the party you were immediately hit by the flashing lights and colors. So many people were dancing and even singing that it was hard to keep track of who was who.

Looking around for your friend who invited you in the first place, you went over to the punch bowl.

Leaning against the railing, you took out your phone and texted your friend to let them know you were here but all of a sudden you felt a light, gentle tap on your shoulder.

Turning around, you saw a boy with black hair. He had a big grin on his face with excitement in his wide eyes. Something about him was truly..compelling..you could already tell. He had a scar under his right eye and..fangs?..

No! That had to be a costume! Get it it together Y/N!..

Looking up at him, his smile only grew somehow. He just met you but seemed so so excited..was he new?..

“Hi!! My names Luffy! Yours?!”

He did while holding his hand out, sheepishly smiling you gently took it and shook it in a friendly manner.

“Hey Luffy I’m Y/N..how do you know the host of this party?..or are you new to campus..I don’t recall seeing you around..”

He blinked a few times and then laughed a bit nervously.

“Oh well..yeah..I’m new! I know the host by..an old pal!”

Tilting your head you nodded. The whole conversation so far, you saw that he hadn’t removed his gaze off of you..once.

His cheery attitude never left or faltered once while the two of you were talking and for some reason you felt he was a bit off. Whenever you told him something about yourself like your favorite food, color or music style, he didn’t seem surprised like..at all.

It was like he already knew the answers.

Like he already knew you.

Like the back of his hand..

A few minutes had passed and he was still rambling about some nonsense. Boy, he really did know how to talk your ear off didn’t he..? He seemed so excited to talk to you. Not to mention he kept inching a bit closer, so close that if he wanted to, he could pull you in a hug without even trying.

Then out of no where, two hands slowly slid down to your hips. Eyes widening in shock and surprise you instinctively turned around to face whoever was in a touchy mood tonight.

You would notice that Luffy also stopped immediately when someone Dared to lay a finger on your precious body.

He was clenching his plastic cup with juice in it, making the juice slowly drip down his fist to his arm.

He hated when others stole your attention from him. He did not like it. Not one bit.

The person who grabbed you from behind seemed to have the same vibe as Luffy….kinda..And those fangs..those fangs they had looked so real..

But they couldn’t be! Vampires weren’t real! Right?

“Hey Luffy, who’s this cutie?..”

The guy asked, unusually staring at the side of your neck..

Luffy groaned. Why couldn’t he just have you to himself?..he gave a little pout as he watched you and his friend talk for a bit.

In all honesty, he didn’t really care if that guy was his friend..

Yeah, they did know each other for a few..years, and they looked out fir each other whenever the humans tried to kill them but..

Whoever should even dare to touch will get their asses kicked.

Luffy’s thoughts were really running wild through his mind. What if he tried to take you away from him..? What would he do with you? Who would he do with you?!?

Man..he really didn’t know why you made him so..so..

Quiet.

His mind then went quiet when he saw the sight before him.

His friend was trying to bite you.

He had his jaw open and forcefully tilting your head to the side so he could have more access. You look confused out of your mind, why was he trying to bite you..? What was this?

With the lights, the music and the people all around you three, adrenaline shot through Luffy’s veins. He snapped. He just couldn’t handle this anymore.

You were his.

You saved him.

He was supposed to protect you!

Without a thought he lunged forward, a shadow covering his eye as a serious look that rarely showed on his face.

His fist instantly connecting with his friend who tried to bite your neck with his dirty slimy teeth. The guy clenched his nose as blood trickled from his hand and letting out a loud groan of pain.

You were absolutely shocked, looking down at him with a mix of shock and horror.

By now, the party had stopped and everyone was looking at the scene that just played out.

Luffy took a few deep breaths, his fists clenched. Looking at you he smiled, not even caring about the whole scene he had caused.

Without any hesitation at all he swooped you up into his arms and flew out the window, holding you tight as you screamed for help. There were people who ran to try to help and others just stared. Ether way he finally had you now he was never letting you go.

Ever.

Back in his cave he had you in between his legs, snuggling his head in your neck. Unfortunately, you were making too much noise while he was carrying you so he had to knock you out. It was okay though! You would forgive him eventually..

He had to admit he was overjoyed to finally have you here his cave, holding you close and caring for you.

He had all your favorite things here!..that he may or may not have stolen from your home..Your clothes, pictures..you would love it!

A grin was plastered on his face as he took in your scent and let out a happy sigh.

“Finally..”

He said softly in your neck, his grip slowly tightening around you.

“You Belong To Me..”

Hey guys!! I thought I’d do this request first since it was only two days after Halloween! I really liked this one and I hope you guys did too!❤️🌸❤️

@anemptypuddingcup thank you so much for requesting this sweetie! I really hope you liked this!! I thought I’d make it into a modern college AU because it fit better for me lol, sorry if that messed it up 😭 but I really hope you enjoyed this because it was so much fun to write this🫶🏼 remember, you can always request from me because I LOVE your ideas! Thank you again darling!

Until next time my pretty petals!! 🌸🌱🪷

[partyinthemysterymachine]

the end of an era.

i'm really quite sentimental about this one. i have had to Finally, and Officially Retire™️ this Otterbox phone case. it's a nice, sturdy, heavyduty case for the iphone 8 plus. it's seen all types of domestic war (like me failing daily hot potato with my phone), social war (me Causing Problems On Purpose With My Friends™️), pokemon war (me constantly screaming at pokemon go), and most importantly.. creative war.

The War of Writing GOOMT.

LOL

basically, the long and short of it is that i have had my iphone and this particular case since i really started writing GOOMT. it's been with me for 5 years, been The Great Protector of the Sacred Texts, endured the hot and the cold, and much more.

purple is a very soothing color. there weren't a lot of options when Otterbox was still offering an array of cases for the iPhone 8+ five years ago, but i really did like purple due to its benefits in color psychology. the case i've chosen now is a violet purple/blue covering a turquoise inner case.

i've been struggling to figure out what the fuck is happening with ch77 ever since i posted ch76, and yesterday, i finally made a breakthrough -- and it while i was outside, writing on my phone. it was also last night that my new phone cases (i got two, to have one OBNOXIOUSLY pink case as backup LOL) arrived, so.. it really felt quite bittersweet and fitting for the last bit of GOOMT the case protected was a big creative breakthrough.

i've put the case on my old neon green lawn chair for now; the same lawn chair that i wrote the majority of GOOMT in for four years, before i had to finally buy a new one as the screws were rusting and falling out.

i do intend to preserve things like this in a display case in the spare bedroom along the way, as a testament to my progression. i know it may seem strange to some people to feel like this about a phone case and a lawn chair, but GOOMT is more than just a fic for me. by this point, GOOMT has been its own conduit (hehehehohohohharharhar) in the way of leading me to friends, happiness, life experience, hope, and drive.

i look forward to writing GOOMT for many more years, and writing it on my phone, and i look forward to watching my friends grow and thrive -- and i look forward to tomorrow.

[bennoni]

Why I Don't Play Humans

It's because they're usually white.

While I think the thesis of this post covers the lion's share of things, I figure I ought to defend it.

So I don't think it needs be explained that for various reasons, most creators, GMs and players in the ttrpg space are white. As a result, much of the social and cultural texture of the space is centered from the white "culture", experience, and mythology. I think @aaronsrpgs put it best their tweet from April of 2019,

"D&D is a Midwestern folk art that accreted around a creative commons, its original curators were cheated of money or never legally acknowledged, and someday I'll be sued out of existence for printing the words "umber hulk," "carrion crawler," and "mind flayer."

This was an cultural art built with certain ideas and cultural contexts from a certain era of history that people like me were not built into as standard, or put more aptly, as protagonists. (I know this is about other things, but shush, quotes can pull double duty, and this is a good one)

As a result, the presumed protagonists of the game were people of european descent in a europe based setting, or at least what the midwestern creators of mixed western and central european descent believed that to be. Which means that anyone who fell out of that were not considered, or worse: were the monsters.

Okay, but if I did play a human, what would happen? Well culture clash for one. Most American ethnic groups live segregated from each other for one reason or another, but more often than not because certain folks don't want to be neighbors with everyone else. So when populations are physically separated, their culture also separates. Up until high school, I went to a majority black and brown school district with people from all different cultures. Meanwhile, most white people don't even have friends who aren't white. And when I started going to PWIs (Primarily White Institutions) starting in high school, I had to change a lot about how I operated in social environments. The words I use, the styles I wear, the interests I shared, it took time. And I had to be the one to bend my back for them, not the other way around. Even now, working in the adult world as an "adult", I have to bend to what the white idea of culture is to survive.

So when I went to college and learned about what D&D and tabletop games were, my first real character was a half-elf, then a tiefling, and there was probably a half-orc in there at some point. I didn't want to be human, it was too "normal", too close to an experience I only knew from the outside and didn't particularly feel similar to what I knew in my life. If I was gonna play based on what I knew, playing characters that were adjacent to, but explicitly kept out of "normal" was it.

Now that was almost 11 years ago now and I think I've matured my opinion, but the feeling still remains the same. I play humans sometimes in fantasy games. tho I regularly declare my characters are Black. Even if it doesn't exactly map to things in the given setting, and the GM is white, and I still walk and talk for the majority white tables I play at, I don't mind because I do it for me, and now I know how to put some black in there even if it isn't acknowledged much or at all. I just want to feel a part of myself in there, even if that means making my character socially a bit of a pariah.

Is that normal? Do any other non-white folks do this? I don't know, this is probably the first time I've concretely put this idea down into text for people to receive and understand. I recognize that if you aren't black, your might not feel like you can easily relate since you're several steps above black people in the western social ladder, but I don't think it's too hard to get.

[aegor-bamfsteel]

I just now realized something as I looked at the M.U.S.H. in westeros.org. And it is how some of Mariah Martells' household had members that participated in the Conquest of Dorne and killed lords and nobles. Do you think the presence of those dornish knights cause even more backlash from the lords of westeros?

It’s a complicated question because GRRM didn’t write the MUSH, Elio Garcia and Linda Antonsson did; while a lot of what they wrote later became part of The World of Ice and Fire, some of it was retconned in Fire and Blood. If ElioLinda had full control over F&B2, then I’d expect even more of what they wrote for the MUSH to become canon, but GRRM may have new ideas he might push for. Then there’s the fact that the MUSH is inconsistent even with itself, possibly due to it being running for nearly 20 years (I’ll give them credit, that’s very difficult); if you look at the MUSH for Myriah Targaryen’s household, it has fewer Dornish than presumably before she got married (there’s a lot more of Melissa Blackwood’s extended family in Myriah and Naerys’ households). One of my big gripes with the supplemental materials is that we’re never given good reasons why the characters may act contradictory to previous characterization, making them feel flat and at the whims of the plot. Why are Alysanne’s septas who were raised to revile incest and who were specifically sent by Alyssa to make her change her mind so won over they became her speakers (and why were the septas who did object incompetent murderers)? Why did Elinor Costayne, exploited by the Targaryen Maegor, travel around the country extolling Targ exceptionalism? Why is Alaric Stark friends with Alysanne despite her playing a part in indirectly getting his brother killed? Why is Melissa Blackwood a friend of the highly religious Sevenite Naerys despite being a mistress and old gods’ worshipper? Why does the text repeatedly deride Aegor Rivers’ hatred of the Targaryens and treat its source as a big mystery when they murdered his Bracken aunt and grandfather, and he was then raised by other Brackens? Why does Walda Frey Bolton have no reaction to being told her only brother was murdered? Because there’s no long-term planning or complexity to any of it; it all happens because the author thought it was cool/to fill pages. Anyway, it could be that the Dornish lords/knights in Daeron II and Myriah’s household having killed Westerosi knights fighting under Daeron I could exacerbate the anger their grieving relatives felt; that would be a logical response, but sometimes the authors forget and say they’re angry over court positions or that Daeron’s courtiers read too many books, in order to portray them unsympathetically.

It could be that some knights just shrugged and said “it was war” (note this doesn’t bear out in the rest of the MUSH, where Daeron’s murder under a peace banner was far from the only false flag operation, with even surrendering members of Daeron’s garrisons being cut down in Red Mountain Castles) and their relatives died honorably in combat nearly 20 years ago, especially if they were offered marriage alliances or court positions to incorporate them into the new regime. After all, nearly every Dornish house had to get involved, and 60000 Resteros men died during the conquest, so Dornish lords/knights killing Resterosi knights was inevitable (although the Dornish I doubt were happy about having to play nice with the relatives/veterans of men who killed their family members and destroyed their lands. Although parts of the MUSH would shock you there as well, with these people portrayed villainously as rebels). Other knights who had more personal losses (where their relatives met dishonorable ends) or harrowing experiences (freezing in the Red Mountains, left to die in the deserts), that Aegor Rivers could sympathize with might’ve been a harder sell. However, the MUSH also explains that the Dornish Houses who suffered the most casualties were the Red Mountain Houses like Yronwoods and Blackmonts, one of whom was a generational Blackfyre supporter and the other possibly connected to the raids on Caron/Dondarrion lands during the later part of Daeron II’s reign (which was an indirect attack on Daeron’s rule considering Jena Dondarrion was expected to be Queen at the time, and Daeron didn’t trust the Dornish to deal with the Vulture king who was living on their lands); so while the favoring of former veterans/their relatives might’ve angered some, it wasn’t all Dornish houses that welcomed the union or were treated the same, and conversely, not every Resterosi knight who lost family in Daeron’s War (which was a lot) was going to react in the same negative way. Basically, what you’re saying makes sense (that Resterosi are upset that people/their relatives who harmed them/their relatives are given high positions without having to face consequences), but I have little faith that the supplemental material will portray this reaction in a logical, realistic way.

[sleepyheadnat]

ДАЙ ОТПОР

Guess who binge-watched Murder Drones? I diiiiid.

Ok, ok, I feel like talking about the show in a little more depth because a bunch of my dear mutuals are big fans of the show. I actually decided to watch it because of them—after seeing so much fanart reblogged or even made by them.

The TLDR of my opinion is: it's a cool show, I liked it. For the longer take, read on.

I'll start off with the bad so we can get it done quick and move on to the good. Because so many of my friends love this show, criticizing it in a place they probably will read is not fun (╥u╥). So here goes nothing:

The tonal whiplash was way too jarring and took me out of the experience constantly, especially in the first few episodes. To be fair, this was probably intentional. I think they were going for humor, but it kinda fell flat for me—I was too busy trying to rationalize how everyone in that universe is so nonchalant to their acquaintances dying brutal deaths in front of them (maybe they know it's okay as long as their heart is intact? or maybe I was not supposed to think too hard about it. that's probably it). This is more of a personal incompatibility, I think: the show's overreliance on violence and disturbing topics to create its humor ended up making me disturbed—not in the fun, intended way, but in a "this actually makes me uncomfortable" way. The whole scene with the baby cutting N open while N cheers them on is a good example of this.

Aside from that, the pacing felt a little too fast for me to keep up, and important information was presented in a way that was not very clear. For example: I did not even notice Tessa was not Tessa, but Cyn/The Solver masquerading as her; I only realized that because a comment under the video pointed it out. This might be a skill issue, but my poor brain could barely keep up with what was happening hahaha.

Ok, now on to the good stuff, because, despite all I pointed out, there is a lot to love about MD:

The cool factor in this show is off the charts. From the first few minutes of the very first episode, I was sold on that; the Disassembly Drones with their wings wide open, the glowing Xs on their faces, that was seriously cool (which is a feat in and on itself, considering their faces are essentially the XD emoticon). That segues nicely into my next point: the character designs (especially in the Disassembly and Solver Drones) are awesome. I love the usage of their screen-faces to show emoticons and images—that was such a fun detail that made the animation (which is really good by the way) all that more delightful to look at. Using it to show text was also very cool and led to some of the more memorable moments in the show.

The iconography is—no pun intended—iconic. From the Solver's symbol to Nori's choker, etc. Quotes like "Die mad", "Fight back" and "Golden Retrievers have gentle mouths" will be forever ingrained in my brain, I tell you.

The horror is very effective when it wants to be. Going back to the tonal whiplash, the show quickly desensitizes you to robot gore, but that makes the very rare human gore very effective. The first time I got to see (Cyn/The Solver using) Tessa's black and blue and bloody very human body, I was terrified. Also, Cyn/The Solver digging into N's chest while chanting "Let me in" over and over had no right being that disturbing.

The characters who are not just canon fodder are all developed well and are pretty likeable. Uzi is a surprisingly nice take on the teenager-archetype/stereotype, and was probably one of, if not the first time I managed to actually see my teen-self in one of these characters. Doll is my fave though. I legitimately thought she was just going to be a "Russians are hardcore" joke character, but no—my girl does so much. A lot of bad stuff she should not have done, also. And a lot of stuff I did not understand—going back to the pacing point I mentioned earlier. I'm already planning on rewatching the show to try and actually understand what happened hahaha.

Also, random P.S.: My interpretation is that Cyn's not the bad guy, just the first host to the Solver. That's what I hope at least hahaha—she was adorable, and I loved her dynamic with N.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Anna North at Vox:

The day after the presidential election, LaToya Bufford’s 16-year-old daughter got a text saying she had been “selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation.” The text came from a number Bufford’s daughter didn’t recognize, but it addressed her by her full name. The teenager told her mom that some of her friends had gotten the message, too, but only those who, like her, are Black.

Bufford said her daughter didn’t have much visible reaction to the text. But Bufford herself was left frightened and on high alert. “I was just shocked and so angry,” Bufford, who lives in Sacramento, California, told me. “If this could happen to my 16-year-old child,” she said, “I’m just scared about what could also happen.” Bufford’s daughter was one of the middle school, high school, and college students in more than 20 states who received similar racist texts in the days following the election. The attacks have continued and broadened in the weeks since, with Latino and LGBTQ+ recipients getting messages threatening them with deportation or being sent to “reeducation camps,” according to the FBI. Some messages purported to be from “the Trump administration,” though the Trump campaign has said it had nothing to do with the messages. The FBI is still investigating the wave of harassment, leaving kids and families wondering who got their names and phone numbers and sent them terrifying, personalized messages.

Meanwhile, other children across the country encountered hate speech and harassment at school immediately following the election, from a racist note left in a Wyoming high school bathroom to a spate of anti-immigrant and other discriminatory incidents in a Vermont district. There’s not much comprehensive data yet on how many kids have been harassed in the wake of last month’s election, but experts and school officials say the incidents documented so far, like the texts Bufford’s daughter and others received, reflect a continuation of a disturbing pattern.

After the 2016 election, Donald Trump’s xenophobic rhetoric about immigrants and other groups made its way to high school, middle school, and even elementary school campuses, and children began shouting “build the wall” and threatening their classmates with deportation. News reports between 2016 and 2020 document more than 300 incidents of students or school staff using Trump’s words or name to harass children, according to a 2020 Washington Post analysis. I reported on hate crimes and harassment in 2016 and 2017. Schools, unfortunately, were a big part of the story, with swastikas and racist slogans defacing the places where children, one parent reminded me, are supposed to be safe. Kids, especially teenagers, don’t always open up to adults about how harassment makes them feel. But hate speech can cut deep, particularly when the target is a child whose brain and sense of self are still developing. Kids can experience physical symptoms like stomach pain and headaches; others can have panic attacks or insomnia.

Harassment can also deprive young people of their legal right to an education, making them too afraid to stay in class or even to come to school at all, said Erin Maguire, director of equity and inclusion for Vermont’s Essex Westford School District, which experienced a steep increase in harassment reports the week of the election. While complaints there have leveled off, some experts remain concerned about the impact a second Trump administration could have on kids across the country. Kids continued lobbing Trump-inspired insults at their peers throughout his first term, according to the Washington Post analysis. Schools can make a big difference in supporting students who have been targeted and creating environments free from discrimination, experts say. But they may face an uphill battle in an administration that’s already broadcast its opposition to equity and inclusion initiatives, as well as its intent to dismantle government education agencies that enforce civil rights. Now some parents are left preparing their children on their own for what they see as a new reality.

[...]

How to help kids who have been harassed

Families shouldn’t be on their own to protect kids from hate speech; political leaders have an important role to play, experts say. “Any message that public officials send can trickle down to children,” Aziz said. “The more public officials that denounce hateful things,” she said, “the more examples our children have to look up to.” Educators, too, “are looked to across communities to really offer a way forward,” said Liz King, senior program director for education equity at the Leadership Conference. “It is meaningfully important when they get up and say, ‘This is awful.’” School leaders can also counter hate speech and discrimination by using curricula that are inclusive of all students, King said. The Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights also offers resources for preventing and responding to discrimination in schools. Trump has pledged to eliminate that department, but the laws that protect kids’ right to an education aren’t changing, King said. “These laws are not going anywhere, and so each of us has a responsibility to ensure that this administration meaningfully protects all of us from discrimination and enforces our civil rights laws.”

Children across America, especially if they are Black, Latino, and/or LGBTQ+, are the most vulnerable to being victims of post-election bullying in the wake of Donald Trump’s return to office.

[lemon-shortbread]

Now this is just some thoughts so im putting em under the cut! ❤️

I started talking to this guy and we had like all of the same kinks, and he seemed pretty chill at first, but then, as things go, it gets to the point where he INSISTS that i go ahead and get pregnant because he’s “always wanted to date some one pregnant.” and. its the entitlement for me.

I started thinking about how that statement felt and knowing that that’s just something that he was totally down to push onto me. Now, in this economy and me living from paycheck to paycheck, I’m pretty uncomfortable with just getting pregnant for some dude’s kinks to be fulfilled. And don’t get me wrong, he’s a sweet enough dude, but when it turns to texting me just about his kinks and trying to persuade me to go ahead and try surrogacy so he can be there to “witness something magical” and because “it would be a cool experience”, i get annoyed.

And this isn’t an isolated incident. I’ve had many men try to pursue me to satisfy their fetishes without considering my health, feelings, or personhood and it makes me wonder why this is such a common occurrence. I understand it’s hard to date with more obscure fetishes ruling your sex drive, but it’s way too frequently that a man messages me and within 20+ responses he’s asking me to shove an ostrich egg up my pussy.

What also confounds me is when I talk about this with some non-involved friends, the response is along the lines of “Oh well that’s how people talk when theyre horny.” Like it’s fine and normal. I think i’ve had a disproportionate amount of negative ir dehumanizing experiences with (especially kinky) men and dmab people, and I have to wonder if this comes from a sense of entitlement or like if it’s unknowingly done, or if it’s maliciousness; my guess is the second, but good god.

I’ve been told by a lot of men to “go ahead and get pregnant” for their fetishes witH NO FINANCIAL SUPPORT or emotional or the!!! sheer amount of physical strain that puts the body through! And i have to wonder if these people have ever been around actual pregnant people. Or if they’re just fetishizing every pregnant person without considering that it’s. kind of a high risk kink to participate in if things aren’t planned carefully.

The stories of “hahaha my friends pregnant shes so hot” while then describing her having terrible heartburn and being exhausted as part of what makes her “so hot”. This real human person who you are not engaged romantically with. The amount of stolen videos from mommy blogs and tiktoks and ai of pregnant people I see gets a little disturbing when you think about the implications, well at least to me it does. I know we look for content where we can….but like, yknow?

“you dont wanna be pregnant right now? Awwweee okaay, but that sucks :( makes me sad.”

“Well, guess we’re done here then, bye. Since you dont wanna experience something amazing”

“Can you start surrogacy so when we start dating you’re already pregnant?”

like. do you hear what you sound like. does this sound normal. are these normal requests.

And no matter how many times i explain hey, these are my boundaries, here’s what im not cool with, here’s my kinks. We will ALWAYS find the time and space to try and snake around the shit to get our rocks off.

Spamming me to get free fetish material, begging and offering to buy shit to put in my body after ive said no, weird ass comments about how id be lucky to have them as a sperm donor and how id be “such a good cow for them” like, i get it. we’re all kinky, but bitches need to learn about goddamn boundaries and limits and human goddamn decency because jfc dude.

Yall really scare me sometimes and I know this is partially happening due to my own naïveté and shyness and fear of confrontation, but damn, even after setting boundaries this shit is ridiculous. It makes it a little scary reaching out or trying to meet folks, and i dont think this is a fixable issue tbh.

[lindisworld]

Close || Matt Murdock x Reader

summary - Soulmate Au! In which [Name] has Daredevil as a soulmate and Matt unwillingly wants [Name] in his life. However Fate does its job and always brings them together.

Chapter One.

It was a couple days after [Name] encountered the trio, once they left the coffee shop. Karen came up to the resister to pay. Luckily for Karen, the shop was fairly empty except one customer who sat at the corner too engrossed in their laptop to even know what happening around them. 

Karen questions [Name] about her injuries in a concerning way. [Name] had nothing to hide and told her the truth about the injuries and how she constantly gets them. In result, gaining sympathy from the blonde. Karen gives her a Nelson and Murdock card with her number on it. 

“Call or text if anything. I would love to be friends.” Karen smiles and pays for their drinks, thanking [Name] once again for the free box of donuts. 

It was a Friday night and Karen had invited [Name] out for a drink at Josie’s, “a girl’s night” as she called it. However [Name] began to notice newer cuts and bruises around her body hours prior so she had to cancel. It’s not that she was in any physical pain, however she didn’t want blood sleeping through her clothing while drinking alcohol.

So here she was on the floor around 1 in the morning, her thigh covered in dried up blood, she did a relatively good job on stitching her skin back together. A skill she had to develop rather quickly due to the surmount of open wounds she’d experience, she couldn’t imagine the pain her soulmate would be in currently. She’s gone to the hospital for the first few times her body was affected by the beatings. 

It was almost like a ritual so she opted on saving the hospital’s resources on someone else than her. Bad luck on her end for receiving such fatal wounds at times in return of internal love. An endless cycle it seemed. 

Mercifully, the wounds she sustained wouldn’t leave lasting scars on her skin. They fade over time and become invisible to the naked eye, almost as if they were never there. Anything her soulmate endures physically will appear, the invisible bond connecting their bodies.

Any bodily injuries that affects his senses will cause her to have the same reaction as her soulmate. Ranging from a collapsed lung to a head injury causing her ears to ring. Yet, this lack of physical pain doesn't diminish the impact it has on her emotional state.

On worst days, Marci would be called over immediately to babysit [Name] for the severe injuries. Just in case she passes out from the blood loss.  On two separate occasions, Marci had a the biggest scare of her life. It got the point where nothing helped and Marci insisted she go to the hospital. Felt like she was close to death without doing anything to get there. 

Marci insisted to find a way to stop the soulmate connection but to no avail. [Name] threw the idea to the trash and immediately disagreed causing arguments with the lawyer. However today was one of the easier days, there was no need to call Marci. 

She hisses out of instinct, though she couldn’t feel the pulsating sensation of the cut but she did feel the needle go through her skin. It was a sight that was unsettling to anyone who was able to witness. 

[Name] patched up her injury and slowly stood up,  careful enough not to reopen the stitches. She took some ibuprofen for the swelling and limped her way to bed. A couple of minutes gone by and she dozed off to sleep. 

It was once again bustling in the cafe, her staff handling all the business coming in and out. [Name] took the opportunity to sit in her office to oversee some inventory and what’s needed for her shop, also allowing her stitches to heal in the meantime. 

[Name] yawns, her arms stretching in the air. She didn’t get enough sleep, considering last night’s event. She hears a knock from her door, a certain knock that only her and Marci know. 

“You know, you can always walk on in if it’s you, Marci.” [Name] said before taking a sip of her overly sweet coffee. Some would say it’s not really coffee if there’s more sugar than coffee. “Yes I know, but you like your privacy. I know you well enough to know you don’t like it when people just barge in,” Marci responds.

”You barely respect my own boundaries,” [Name] deadpanned and rolled her eyes causing Marci to shrug. “True, but I’m not a bully.” Marci remarked. 

“You kind of are,” [Name] states and stopped her work. “What brings you here today? You miss me already?” She jokes, a small smile evident on face. 

“Actually, yes. I’m on my lunch break and I bought you your favorite. I know what it means when you’re hauled up in your office and it’s not good,” Marci explained, her face betrayed a sense of worry. Her worry wasn’t something that she can easily hide. 

In the moment, [Name] looked at Marci and empathized with her. Words didn’t need to be spoken in the room. It was like a silent conversation between the two, thoughts and feelings of worry and fear speaking from the heart. 

After a few moments of quiet silence, [Name] perked up the sound of her stomach growling. “So what did you bring for lunch?” She muttered softly. 

“Chinese. It’s always your go to.” Marci slid into the chair next to her next and placed the food on the table. “The spring rolls are mine, and no, you’re not having a bite.” Marci said and brought out the carton of fried rice and noodles, alongside two chopsticks. 

“We’re going to talk about it soon than later, [Name].” Marci told [Name], she didn’t have to say anything specific to hint at what she talking about. The air felt calmer and relaxed but there was still a sense of fear lingering. [Name] nodded and began to dig in her food. 

[beeeinyourbonnet]

Fic Masterlist

I needed a new pinned post so here is my new masterlist of fics that I have either finished or am actively working on, which I will update as I post new things. Sorry for the unhinged tags, they are there for me and will almost certainly grow longer and more unhinged yolo. Also I accept prompts for any ficlets or character questions in anything from this list (possibly also other stuff on my AO3 if I'm feeling it)!

Rumbelle

By Hook or by Crook - E - complete, 28/28 chapters Just when Belle thinks she's doomed to a life without adventure, an investment banking firm all the way from New York City plops its new headquarters in Storybrooke's abandoned cannery. Winner of best rumbelle fic and best comedy smut CCAs 2025

By the Book (By Hook or by Crook) - T - complete, 1/1 chapter After Gold brings a partially-conscious Belle to the Nolans', he and David have to find out what happened (set between chapters 20 and 21 of By Hook or by Crook).

Gilded - E - complete, 1/1 chapter Mr. Gold runs a speakeasy during Prohibition and hires a new waitress. RSS 2024 fic. Winner of best RSS fic and best one-shot CCAs 2025.

The First Thanksgiving - T - complete, 1/1 chapter Newly married Emma and Neal invite Belle to the first Thanksgiving they're hosting in an attempt to set her up on a blind date, not knowing that she has been keeping a secret from them since the wedding. Fluffapalooza 2025

The Twenty-Eighth Date (The First Thanksgiving) - G - complete, 1/1 chapter A prequel to The First Thanksgiving, Belle and Gold meet at Neal's wedding while both are trying to hide from someone else. The Siren - T - complete, 1/1 chapter The town librarian is behaving strangely, and Mr. Gold definitely does not care (third round entry from the rumbelle showdown 2024).

In the Glow of Moonlight - E - complete, 3/3 chapters Rumpelstiltskin gets cursed and, when the cure is to experience happiness, he assumes he'll be cursed forever. (tentacles)

Wrong Number - M - incomplete, under 20 chapters at present Belle has struck up a strange friendship with a man she only knows over text. Having finally escaped a bad living situation, she gets involved in the local city council, where she meets Mr. Gold, who seems hellbent on hating her guts. It's a good thing she has her mysterious text friend for comfort. Updates tuesdays and fridays.

Anyelle

Nostelle (Nosty from Safe x Belle) Covetous - E - complete, 25/25 chapters Father Joseph MacAvoy wakes up in a library across town with no idea of how he got there, and when the kind librarian doesn’t kick him out immediately, he considers that maybe there’s more to life than alcohol. Unfortunately for the Father, the kind librarian has a habit of taking in dangerous men, and MacAvoy feels wholly unequipped to protect her heart from them--and his own. Winner of best bobby squared CCA 2025

First Kiss (Covetous)- T - complete, 1/1 chapter Belle and Nosty kiss for the first time.

Bellish (Hamish Macbeth x Belle) The Beginning of a New Book - E - complete, 27/27 chapters When Belle discovers that her fiance is not the man she thought he was, she finds herself in witness protection in a little Scottish town called Lochdubh.

Almost a Widower (The Beginning of a New Book) - complete, 1/1 chapter Sergei learns that Belle has disappeared.

Develle (Danny Devine from Dead Fish x Belle) Unbowed - E - complete, 48 chapters Belle works nights at the Parrot Club as an assistant to pay off her estranged husband’s debts to Danny Devine, and days at a bookstore where she has struck up a friendship with a gentleman named Ives. Belle is just supposed to do Danny's books and keep the office organized, but when Something Happens, she gets drawn into a world she never expected. Also includes ivelle (belle x ives from Ravenous).

Devine Intervention - M - incomplete, series of one-shot ficlets This are all my old develle ficlets that I post as I edit them, where she is his assistant to work off her dad's debt.

Plunkelle (Will Plunkett from Plunkett & Macleane x Belle) An Ever-Fixed Mark - E - incomplete, 29/33 chapters The widowed Lady Belle desires nothing more than freedom. When her father brings her to London in an attempt to find her a new husband, she instead meets a highwayman who could use a woman on the inside. Updates Mondays and Thursdays.

Lachelle (Lachlan Macaldonich from California Solo x Belle) On the Rocks - M - incomplete, under 5 chapters presently Desperate to stay in America, Lachlan vows to quit drinking, but it's hard when he lives alone and there's nothing else to do in the farmlands of California. Luckily for him, he meets a woman outside the AA meeting. On hiatus.

[ranmagender]

Misnull, the Glitch Ghost

[ID: drawing of a ghostly figure with a dark gray ´body'a silver face and large white eyes. the ghosts hair is geometric and looks glitched with purple, beige and white parts alternating in various shapes. At the end of the ghost tail are sparkles that are small shapes of dark grey and beige coloring as if suspended in the air around the tail]

So @titleknown had this neat idea of making new characters to release into the public domain on public domain day because its not just about old things that become public domain but also about the promotion of open culture in general. This one is inspired by the famous missingno glitch but I got the idea of making a lil ghost that appears out of your gameboy. i left the ending and origin of this being vague. the text below is public domain so feel free to add on if you want or use it as a launchpoint for your own things.

send me a message if you do im curious what people may come up with.

[ID: in the below story the phrase information missing has a distorted effect]

Misnull

I don't remember this story too well as it my memory of this time in my life tends to be foggy for some reason, so the details may not be there but the important bits are clear as day to me.

For christmas 2004 I got a video game for christmas, it was a copy of ị̶͝ň̴̺f̵̯͆o̶̡͐r̷̩͝m̵̰͆a̴̠͂t̴̳̃i̷̻͌o̴̬͝n̵͔̚ ̷̑ͅm̶̨̉ī̴̝s̴̘̏ṣ̷̛i̵̫͠n̸̻͌g̷͎͐ for the gameboy advance. I don't remember much about the game just that I really wanted it because my friend had been hyping it up at the time. I believe it even had an anime I used to watch but that might have been a different one.

Following christmas I spent most of my time on my gameboy advance sp fixed to the game trying to beat it although I recall there being a steep learning curve with it which was difficult for me to get over, especially as a 12 year old with only rudimentary grasp on the English language

I got to the part where the player character was in front of a large gate, almost 5x the size of the player sprite, behind it was nothing, it was simply a door in the middle of a green field. Suddenly the cartridge started to rumble causing the whole console to do the same.

Then suddenly the gate opened, two large claws pushed themselves out digging into the dirt and I could see glowing dots.

Despite this being a gameboy advance game the graphics were surprisingly detailed and with the foggy atmosphere of the surroundings and the rumble feature it made for an intense experience there in the late evening in my room. I legit got scared but I couldn´t look away.

This next part, I know it will be hard to believe and this will be labeled either the misremembering of a childhood nightmare or the crazed ramblings of a madman but I swear on the life of my children that it did happen.

The Gameboy Advance lit up so bright that it shook me out of my daze as I had been transfixed on the screen trying to make out the scene the only thing making that possible at the time being a light addon I had plugged into the link cable port.

While its possible nowadays to mod your GBA to be backlit, this was 2004 and despite not being the original model it was lighting up brighter than my little light addon. It was so bright it irritated my eyes for a bit and i had to block it with my hand.

Suddenly i saw a ghostly figure, similar to cartoony ghosts appear out of my gameboy. I was so freaked out that i threw it to the end of the bed which dragged the ghost with it.

The ghost itself wasnt scary just having a silvery face which i didnt seem to grasp if it was its face or a mask or what. Their body if you can even call it that was purple with its hair being jagged geometry

The ghost leaned forward, almost like it was inquisitive, just studying me as I sat up at the other end of the bed with fear plastered on my face.

[playlamb]

okay here is big text about experience with ex yay

Its ex made me feel so horrible about everything it did and felt naturally from being developmentally/disabled and living in isolation. It likes studying facial features to draw them. When it liked a person it would get very excited but not for some whatever bpd reason it just was disabled and isolated so its excitement was expressed in way that was ‘too much’ or seen as it idealizing people. It also likes photography; it used to take photos of its ex that she’d share with it and study her features and draw her, she had very interesting face to was very fun to learn. And it would also edit her pictures because it just likes photography editing portraits and drawing. Of course this is something it was going to do, but one day she said ‘I wouldn’t sit around all day editing photos’. It doesn’t work because disabled and doesn’t drive or have friends. This is just something it liked to do with its time. She would always let something like that slip out whenever she was mad at me. She made me feel bad for being disabled and kept pushing for me to suppress those needs. Whenever it asked for anything like clear communication she would get angry with it and say something cruel. ‘that’s just how humans talk’.

She violently lovebombed me and I chose to trust her. Then she completely abandoned me and it was confused why it wasn’t being given everything she promised it. Nobody knows what she did to it. Everyone thinks she did nothing wrong and that it was just crazy. But she made it crazy. She would ignore every one of its attempts to work together to meet its needs because after the lovebombing it became dependent on her, which is the circumstance she created. She insisted on it. And it let it all happen because it decided it wanted to be vulnerable and finally trust a person and accept their love. When accepting (thing it perceived as) her love had the inevitable effect of making all its trauma feelings surface (a lot of it dormant for ten years), which it said ‘this might happen’ and she said ‘I am willing eager and ready to do whatever must be done I love you and that will not change etc the most romantic fantasy of security care and love it has ever heard’. When it happened she didn’t do anything. She was disgusted and left it drowning and to get worse and worse and it’s begging to work on things got ignored until she got sick of it not getting better and ghosted it in the middle of it getting top surgery. And blamed it and yelled at it the whole way. Until the very end. And she believed her own lie. And told the new partners—which she acquired in the time she was ghosting me—that I was crazy and could not be reasoned with and they supported her. She got 3 new partners whose names she put in her blog description right next to my name. While she was ghosting me. My name was still there. “My partners:”

We would talk about how important it was that it was trusting her and she would say how scared she was to hurt it and let it down. She understood its vulnerability.

She never grasped that she was lying because she was never willing to introspect. She hated it. Aggressively. Like..defensive. That is word. She was very defensive about ever being suggested to actually work through feelings. She used to blame it on not having estrogen. She was very depressed. It understood that, it put a lot of stress on her that she couldn’t handle. But she was irresponsible and did not work on herself in any way, she allowed herself to be cruel to it and to do what she did. Because it was easy. She was not willing to stand up to her impulses in Any way. She hated being suggested to. Like it was wrong. That’s the level she was at with capacity for introspection.

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it is interesting to it that she has no idea of lamb’s real nature. She did not have the capacity to comprehend, or even give herself the chance to understand, the way it functions anyways. She would have gotten so defensive about it lol. and made it about how it is being bad to her. She was always very defensive. It thinks word narcissist is good fit for her. she used to say suspected it was. <-that is not bad btw. Nobody innately ‘evil’. There is no ‘evil disorder’.

But her never knowing lamb’s nature means she does not know that it was not attached to her in the way she might think it was. It was very easy to let her ghost it all those months. It felt nothing when it happened. What stayed with it was not her but the injustice of the harm. It doesn’t care about her. It wants distantly for her to be well, because wants that for everyone, it can even be very passionate about that- but it has no attachment or feelings towards her. It never did, but didn’t know that. lot of masking involved in its happiness with her. It cares, cared about her and trying to maintain healthy relationship, it just does not experience that caring the way most do.