#im still conflicted as i love him but he was a very difficult person... he often made me feel inadequate or useless.

[saintends]

Well... over a decade of constant battle in and out of the hospital, diagnosis after heavy diagnosis and still somehow defying the odds- all over in an instant this morning. My dad is gone.

[harmonysanreads]

WILL SETHOS JOIN THE LOVE HEXAGON??? (heptagon???)

IM SO EXCITED FOR A NEW SUMERU BOYYY, honestly missed Sumeru sm, so glad to see my babies again (+ new friend!!! or foe? idk can't wait for Cyno's SQ :ppp)

Ohh, I have been thinking, thinking and thinking about this matter ever since he was introduced. But I waited till Cyno's story quest to reach a conclusion.

[ au masterlist ]

Based on my observation, Sethos is well-spoken, quite charismatic and even though he may appear to be suspicious at first, he's actually a good person. A very promising leader who's determined to not be bound by the past, but, he's still on the path of understanding himself. There are many things he isn't certain of and I'm sure there are insecurities that plague him because of the divergence between him and Cyno. He does have the potential to be part of this chaos as a love interest, but I'm more interested in introducing himself as a red-herring.

[ Spoilers for Cyno's Story Quest Under the Cut ]

We do know that Sethos visited the tavern within Sumeru city and stayed for a while. In this case, him meeting you and having a casual conversation isn't that difficult. Perhaps you noticed that beneath the easy-going veneer, he's inherently troubled. Sethos will not share everything about his life on the first chat, yes, but he does seem like the perceptive kind. So, just you asking him would linger in his mind.

Now the problem starts with Wanderer noticing this transaction and if he was still thinking from the perspective of the past, he would've just ignored this. But seeing as how things with Kaveh turned out, he was determined to not have a repeat. So, he threw his fists the moment Sethos ventured out from watchful eyes.

Not the most elegant solution but it appealed to him the most at that moment. Unfortunately, as Sethos is in possession of one of the Ba Fragments, he managed to put up quite the fight and also discovered that the sweet-child behavior Wanderer dons in front of you is a facade. Wanderer wasn't panicked though, you don't even believe Cyno's accusations against him, Sethos convincing you is a far away dream.

Speaking of Cyno, Cyrus's case had to be the talk of the Akademiya by then, which our dear Wanderer caught on to. Luck does shine upon everyone and it didn't take long for Wanderer to devise a new plan. While Alhaitham and Kaveh were figuring the case out by themselves, Wanderer snuck in a picture of Sethos within the act, you, the unfortunate student and Sethos himself caught in one frame. How he got the picture is unimportant. As per Wanderer's expectations, Cyno assumed that the perpetrator of the scheme (Sethos) was planning on harming you as well and he immediately set off towards the desert. Seeds of further conflict successfully sown.

And the rest happened in the same sequence, except Sethos and Cyno's fight might've been more intense. While Wanderer may have made a good move this time, he still left himself bare to another eye. Sethos's arc is far from completion, so the chances of him cooperating with Cyno to expose Wanderer have been raised.

In conclusion, Sethos will not be an immediate love interest but he definitely will work in your interest in the future. The reason why his status is still uncertain is because of his unfinished arc. Hm. Maybe he might just manage to overthrow everyone else and win you in the end? Anything is possible :>

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

SOMEONE MADE A FIC INSPIRED BY MINE?? AND YOU SHOULD READ-

Fic Summary- Tim Drake died and woke up possessing the body of an alternate version of himself who also just had died.

The new reality he found himself in, appeared to be a parallel Earth with a future as close as any other alternative Earth, until the point where Tim never became Robin, or even more than just neighbours with the Waynes, instead becoming the most stereotypical affluent, obnoxious, nuisance he could be.

Having a reputation that might as well make him the metaphorical love child of Brucie Wayne and Lex Luthor, Timothy Drake seemed to embody all that was wrong with the rich. This made finding a way home a tad more difficult than he had originally anticipated. That is, if there even was a way home to be found.

* Yellow_sprouts' fic 'The Drakes Spoiled Brat. (im sorry dad)' inspired this one. I obtained their permission to write this, and I encourage everyone who reads it to read their fantastic fic!

My impression + Link below!!

@Narratiuncula has a very descriptive and introspective writing style- really set the scene for what to expect both from Tims perspective (which is always essential considering everyones interpreatation differs) on both himself and his family. Even in chapter one sets up the "old" Tim just through Tims eyes + Analysis and then sets up the future scene where he has to start adapting to this new life.

Predictions im already getting the vibe for a more morally ambigious Tim or at the very least more serious vibe than I have in my work but still maintains a level of humor throughout. Im getting at some lovely family conflict since in my AU "Timothy Drake" was an act- but in this version hes a whole other person so we shall see how it plays out.

Anyways y'all should check it out- its only on chapter 1 but I already have my popcorn bucket and everything

[i-heart-hxh]

hello! i have a question, but i dont quite know how to word it….

i like listening to people’s thoughts on hxh, because sometimes its difficult to collect my own thoughts and hearing others articulate it helps me form my own analysis. usually it clears up confusions on narrative choices, however this thing still confuses me because ive seen lots of meta which sometimes conflict with each other or infos from the show. maybe i missed something?

i dont want to link anybody because i dont want to “call them out” but its a frequent opinion ive come across, so not one person. but what i hear sometimes goes along the lines of: gon vowed to sacrifice everything to defeat pitou -> killua arrives -> despite going through with his jajanken, killua’s presence causes gon to realize he doesnt actually want at all to sacrifice everything and the vow is broken (causing him to lose his nen when he recovers from the physical toll)

i really love this reading. the scene where gon turns to killua right before the screen goes white has always been impactful and seemed important to me for reasons i cant explain. but i’m reluctant to adopt it because the way i understood the nen vow was that it was actually a condition—that gon would only use this power to kill pitou, and then per the “rules” he would lose everything as equivalent exchange when pitou was defeated. and that the reason why his nen was lost was because nanika healed him as he was—which was nen-lost. but the show mentions vows and conditions in conjunction so much sometimes the difference gets muddled in my brain, so i suppose im confused about that as well.

i guess im just asking your thoughts on killua and gon’s love for him potentially being the thing to cause gon’s vow/condition to break. i think its a really sweet idea but im not sure if the mechanics of what exactly gon did to kill pitou support it

sorry for the long ask. please have a nice day!!!!!

Hello! Great question!

So, my way of understanding it is that Gon traded all of his nen potential (meaning all of his nen he had at that time and all of the nen he would have ever had in the future) in order to achieve his adult form and have enough power to kill Pitou. By the time he had achieved that form, he was already doomed to have no nen once he used up the massive but finite amount he had, which was his whole lifetime worth. Like taking out a loan on the full amount of money you'll ever make in your lifetime and then burning it all, but more abstract because it's not money.

It very well may have killed him as well, if not for Killua arriving. Think of the cost to his body to unnaturally achieve that form and use that much nen, which is what Killua recoils at realizing when he sees Gon in that form. I'm sure this is why he ended up as such a withered husk afterwards.

Killua showing up definitely saved him, however, both because he helped him dodge Pitou's Terpsichora and in a more far-reaching emotional sense as well. I think when Killua arrived and called his name that final time, it made Gon realize that he wasn't just giving up his own future--he was giving up his future with Killua as well, and by giving up his life it was going to destroy Killua and leave him alone. Gon had steeled himself to die prior to this, but looking back at Killua's face, his expression entirely changes, softens. As a result, I think Gon holds back a bit with his final Rock and preserves himself just enough to keep his body going. Then Nanika heals Gon's body, but this doesn't undo the nen contract he made--even though his body fully recovers, he did still give up all his nen potential, after all.

(I'm very sorry for posting these pages, know that it breaks my heart to look at them.)

So, the way I see the scene, it's less about the mechanics of it, as that's relatively straightforward. Gon losing his nen was already set when he decided he wanted to give it all up in order to be strong enough to defeat Pitou. It's more about how Killua reaching Gon impacted him emotionally and made him hold back to the degree he could at the very end. Because at that final moment Killua was able to reach him at last--by saying his name, an echo of other scenes in the arc with Meruem and Komugi.

I absolutely think the intent of that scene is that Killua has become Gon's light and saved him--by showing Gon that he wasn't alone, that there was someone else worth living for, that Killua cares about him and doesn't want to lose him. Gon lost sight of that previously amid his trauma and guilt, but in that final moment, he truly sees Killua's horror and pain at what he's doing, and Gon realizes he doesn't want to leave Killua behind forever. Gon manages to barely survive as a result.

[ryuichirou]

So i'm reading your yandere/hypnosis post and i get to Vil being utterly jealous enough to try on Rook; and it makes me think about his drive and the second place club lol (Leona, Jamil and Vil) like D: poor them they're always outranked by that ooonnee person! Can our boys catch a break? whether that person knows or not I always tend to feel bad--especially for Vil since i remember his inner speech in book 5 and the fact that his most trusted person ended up being such a big fan of the person who makes him feel like second best. wait i love rookvil i think i made myself sad LOL NOoo--aahh I rambled im sorry, i guess the main question i wanna ask is what do you think about those particular three always having to come second to their respective counterparts? I think your opinions and insight is so interesting that i'd like to know your thoughts on this! and you don't have to answer for all three characters if you dont wanna I was just curious on your thoughts! Anyways, have a good day and stay hydrated! it's hot this summer oof

Anon! Took some time to get back to you as well, sorry for the late reply. Summer is already over, but it’s still SO HOT…

Without diving into just how much I love the ending of book5 and the whole Rook-Vil-Neige thing (I feel like I talk about it all the time LOL)… It is interesting how these Vil, Jamil and Leona always get to be second best, isn’t it? But ironically, I don’t think I ever grouped them in my head based on this. Maybe it’s because of how different their situations are? But also now that I think about it…

Vil isn’t better than Neige, and he tries to be better by working hard.

Jamil is better than Kalim, but he can’t be better because of his status.

Leona may or may not be better than Falena in some ways, but he doesn’t even bother.

Ignoring the fact that this “better” is always subjective and in actuality things are more complex than that… and also trying not to sound like an armchair therapist that’s just telling anime boys “you should have done this you idiot”, but.

Jamil got the most development in that sense because this internal conflict is very straightforward, in fact, he was the easiest one to describe with these little sentences I just wrote. Jamil wants to stop pretending to be worse than he is, he wants to work hard and to show how great he is without being forced to get worse results than Kalim. He is only the second best because he consciously allows Kalim to be the best whenever he is given this choice. And he isn’t always given a choice: a lot of times the system decides for him, just like when Crowley chose Kalim to be the housewarden. Still, even in that situation, Jamil knows for a fact the shape, the density and the nature of this ceiling he can’t break, he’s been aware of it for his entire life. This is why it’s easy to pinpoint moments of Jamil’s growth: when he expresses how much he hates pretending to be worse than Kalim, when he says that he won’t hold back anymore, when he gets to dance and rap at VDC as a lead-vocalist and, ironically, when he gets scolded by Leona in ch6 (I have some issues with their sub-story, but still).

With Vil, the difficult part is to understand what exactly he understands as “beauty”: I mentioned it in a bunch of Vil-centric posts, but we’ve seen how in-canon he was described as too beautiful, therefore not as relatable as Neige. So this isn’t about beauty, and in a way I think this isn’t about Neige either. This is about Vil’s own feeling of self-worth and self-expression, and how people perceive him; Neige is just a very good point of reference, a good metric, especially considering that they always end up being compared to each other and that comparing numbers of followers is easy and seemingly objective (which is a cruel trap a lot of people fall for).

What I’m trying to say is that Vil isn’t fully and constantly aware of “the shape of this ceiling”, or rather why he can’t reach Neige; this is why we had that ending to his book. This isn’t solely about skill or quality, but those are the main things Vil focuses on.

And Leona… I am not sure about him, to be honest, because it boils down to one problem that I have with him: I am not sure what he wants.

It’s easy to compare him to Jamil because it seems like his issue lies in being frustrated with the system: he will never be the first because Falena is literally the first born son. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare a prince with a servant like that, because even though Leona wouldn’t be the king, he still has a lot of power and opportunities, and we’ve seen Falena valuing his strong points and expressing that he wants Leona to help him. One might even say that he invited Leona to be by his side, as a brother and an equal. But this isn’t what Leona wants in actuality, is it?

His “ceiling” seems to be obvious, but I guess his actual frustrations lie elsewhere, and those are kind of difficult to see because of how inconsistent he is. But maybe it’s just me being frustrated with his character again lol

I am replying so late because I really thought I would have some kind of conclusion about this whole thing, but it seems like I don’t lol Still, it was an interesting topic to think about.

Thank you for your ask! <3

[gatitties]

omg AKAKEKAKAAL 😔

Oki!!

You can make scenario / headcanon for Sugar Daddy Shanks and Sugar Daddy Mihawk ( separately ) x reader? Very fluff and a little comedy ( for Shanks)

Like since the question that Shanks asks YN to be his Sugar Baby, and he every day goes to the cafeteria where YN works and the university where she studies to deliver gifts and snacks, and also when they ask if YN wants to live with them because they wanted YN around and finally has a serious relationship because they are seriously in love and he explains that he was insecure about having a serious relationship because every time it didn't work out, either because of just financial interest or some other reason, but it never worked out, so they made Sugar's proposal to just approach NY to know better and have a relationship aaawn my gah! 😖

YN's life was very lonely and alone with a slightly difficult financial life, and even though she is Sugar Baby, she still decides to continue working (because she likes to work at that job) so the moments that Shanks has with YN are just pure romance and nights of much love but genuine!-im- done, sorry 😖😔♥️

Shanks is a famous billionaire/rich man, as is Mihawk)))

─Shanks & Mihawk (separately) x reader

─Summary: what you thought was a financial relationship ended up being something more than that

─Warnings: modern au

I live for shanks being roasted 😈

Your head almost hit your desk, you opened your eyes trying to focus on the notes you had been concentrating on before, but sleep was winning this battle, lately you had the night shift of the cafeteria where you worked and it was breaking your college schedules.

But you liked work and money always came in handy, you cut yourself off from your family when you went to study outside your hometown, your relationship with them was never very close so you had to look for work because you weren't someone rich.

At least, not at the beginning of your first years of studies, you met Shanks after you spent two years living alone, he offered you small jobs, such as being his companion at galas, meetings or other kind of favors for a large amount of money, that's how you became his sugar baby, even though you started to have more money you still liked your job so you continued there.

You decided to close your laptop to stop studying, it wasn't even that late at night but your energy was completely depleted, just before you lay down on the bed, you checked your messages seeing that Shanks himself had sent you a message.

You frowned slightly, he was asking you to accompany him to a gala tonight, lately you had an internal conflict about your relationship with him, even if your relationship is purely for financial interest at a certain point you noticed that he liked to indulge you much more than normal, you never had the courage to ask if he wanted a serious relationship because being a multi-millionaire man with several companies, he had a couple of other women by his side as companions on other occasions, you interpreted it as being nice to you for being in your situation.

You answered in the negative, your brain was off enough not to feel like being a person full of life and smiling, not today, you needed a break from all this exhaustion of exams and clients. You sent another apology message for not being available and once and for all your body sank into your bed hoping to rest.

An hour after you fell asleep, some anxious knocking on your door made you wake up from your sleep, completely annoyed by whoever decided to interrupt your well-deserved rest, you were ready to yell at what you thought was a neighbor who decided to ask you for a favor, however the words died on the tip of your tongue at the sight of the redhead standing in the hallway of your building block.

"Shanks… what?"

You rubbed your eyes to check that sleep wasn't playing a trick on you, but he smiled down at you as if he was embarrassed for having surprised you, you let him in hoping he would clarify why he was here if he supposedly had an important gala.

"It was a lie… the gala, I just wanted to see you but I didn't know what excuse to make."

"Oh…" you sat next to him putting your hand on his shoulder, you noticed how he seemed to tense up, he didn't look at you which was strange because he always likes to make eye contact with you, you noticed how he moved his hands nervously as if he wanted to say something else "Hey Shanks, are you alright? you seem-"

"I- this whole sugar baby thing started because I didn't know how to ask you to have a relationship, I wasn't sure if someone as young as you would want to- you know- I thought it was a good way to get closer to you, but it bothers me a little that you take it as another job, I just want-"

You cut the string of him off with a little kiss, all this nervousness over a confession, if you were a teenager you'd be winding your hair around your finger with a goofy grin on your face, even though you did have the goofy grin.

"Shanks you are a complete idiot you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

"No."

You changed your smile to a flat expression, though the joke didn't last long when you saw the man's kicked puppy face, making you roll your eyes and kiss him again, he grabbed your hands rubbing his thumb against your knuckles.

"So… there was something else I'd like to ask you" you raised an eyebrow at his words, nodding for him to continue "would you like to come live with me? Since you are my official partner, I would like to pamper you much more."

"I…"

Your mind entered the conflict of the moving, Shanks does not live near the city which would imply that you needed a method of daily transportation, in addition to the fact that you didn't want to leave your job even with this offer in hand.

"Don't worry about anything! I would do anything to balance our schedules and be able to take you everywhere, I'm not asking you to quit your job if you like it, I just want us to spend more time together without needing excuses."

"Okay Shanks, I would like that too, but the next time you want to propose something to me, don't do it on a Sunday at two in the morning or I'll cut any kind of contact."

"But-!"

"No 'but', now let's go to bed" he raised his eyebrows up and down hinting while squeezing your thigh, you sighed rubbing your temple "or I go to bed and you go to the sofa, if that's what you want."

"I was kidding!"

"Mmmh yeah, the sofa will like your jokes."

"Oh, come on, babe!"

You readjusted your shirt, looking at yourself for the last time in the mirror that was in the room where the employees were allowed to change into the cafeteria uniform, luckily today it was afternoon shift for you and not many people used to pass by, at least not as much as in the morning shift.

You were able to study as there were only a couple of clients, you had to keep up with your studies since you decided to move on your own and live on your own without the extra help of your parents, it was quite hard to maintain an accommodation and pay for your studies at first, but when you found a job you also found an offer you couldn't refuse.

Apparently this was the favorite coffee shop of Dracule Mihawk, one of the city's billionaires, quite ironic that someone rich would like a completely ordinary coffee shop, but you weren't one to judge, not when he took an interest in you after you served him at your first day of work. From that day on, he always began to come to ask about you and eventually he became interested in you helping him with some things for a certain amount of money.

Of course, with your financial situation you couldn't refuse, plus most of the time you only had to accompany him to boring meetings with other businessmen, everyone knew Mihawk as someone lonely and sometimes he needed to surprise with a companion, according to him, you made a good impression and matched perfectly with him.

Your relationship was merely something professional, you did your job and he paid you for your services, you had a certain affection for Mihawk due to the fact that more than once he consented to some details despite not having done anything special, he behaved like a gentleman to you even though you were doing him no favors. You also noticed how he seemed to want to break that unwritten contract about being his sugar baby only for a few occasions, although his body language was hard to decipher so you didn't want to assume things and you left it in your mind.

The sound of the bell made you take your eyes off your books, smiling goofily when you saw Mihawk walk through the door, a little surprised by the bouquet of flowers he brought, You put your notes aside and smiled as the customer service policy dictates.

"Good afternoon Mr. Mihawk, the same as always?"

"Yes, thank you, but I would like to ask for something else."

"What else can I offer you, sir?"

"You."

You blinked a few times, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, incredulous at his audacity, you looked into his eyes, instantly regretting seeing his intense gaze, apparently it wasn't some kind of bad joke, although you thought that maybe he needed you for one of the meetings.

"Do you need a companion again? I'll be free in a couple of hours."

"No, it's not that, I'm completely serious, I want to formalize our relationship to something more than a relationship for mere benefit, I've tried to tell you before but it never seemed to be the occasion."

"I- oh, that caught me off guard."

"It's okay if you don't accept, I won't stop requesting you sometimes if you still need the money, but I don't want to pressure you, after all, not all beautiful young people like you would agree to date someone my age."

"No! no, I mean yes, I would like to officially date you, you caught me off guard and…"

You secretly pointed to a couple of customers who seemed attentive to the whole scene making you feel nervous, Mihawk made sure they stopped gossiping with a simple look, offered you the bouquet of roses, holding one of your hands while looking at you.

"I would also like to offer you to live with me, it doesn't have to be something immediate, I know that the changes can be overwhelming, but I would like you to think about it, I would like to consent to you of my own free will and not for services."

"I'll think about it Mihawk, but I like this place…"

He nodded, he understood that you liked the job even though you weren't going to have those problems with money anymore, he wasn't going to deprive you of that, plus he can always come see his favorite person in his favorite place, he couldn't ask for more.

"So, you said your shift ended in a couple of hours?"

"I thought you didn't need me, did you have a meeting?"

"No, I want to take you to our first official date."

He brought your hand to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on it, your face heating up at his actions, you accepted the proposal and began to make his usual order, waiting impatiently for your shift change. You completely forgot what you were studying before, thinking about what to wear to your date, the remaining hours passed quickly without many more customers so you could sit and chat with Mihawk for a while.

"Ready to go, mi amor¹?"

You took his hand with a smile once you left in your normal clothes, saying goodbye to your coworker while Mihawk walked you home so you could change clothes and then took you on the first date of many after this day.

¹ my love

[its-no-biggie]

wheel!!!!

WHEEL!!

hmmmm. well i do like 3-way ships, but right off the bat im not super compelled by this trio...... i mean. i am on board for giving lina two pathetic boyfriends. she deserves it.

lina and tucker is kind of fun - tucker spends a lot of time feeling scared/resentful of her which is fun to explore going forward. especially since she has a lot harder time cooling her head than wash does (who has a similar arc with tucker thats actually somewhat shown onscreen), so it could be a lot more difficult getting over that resentment and getting on the same wavelength.

york...... well. york in canon is kind of. nothing. hes a nothing character. the idea that lina lost him because she was too obsessed with the rankings and pfl and proving herself, and it all turned out to be for nothing is. a story beat the show tries to present? which is definitely compelling but even then its like. they dont have. chemistry. although now that im thinking about it, he is presented as very laid back, while lina and tucker both have issues with insecurity and feeling the need to prove themselves. that could be an interesting dynamic!

......im gonna be so honest. i wrote like 8 paragraphs of plot based on that premise but i ended up making york so unlikeable that it felt wrong having all 3 of them get together by the end 😭 so im gonna post that separately and end it with lina dumping her loser bf for tucker. but first i have to actually put these three in a situation where they end up together LMAO

i can definitely see like a. modern au established tucker/carolina and then uh oh! my girlfriends ex, who she still hangs out with, still has feelings for her! and turns out hes actually kinda hot...... and then all 3 of them start sleeping together and things spiral from there. could potentially get very messy with like. carolina not really being that interested in york but tucker wants to give it a shot but york is really only in it for lina...... like a fucked up unrequited love triangle. i also like the idea of like york and tucker meeting for the first time in a bar and eyeing each other up like. sizing him up preparing for a conflict, but damn, why he kinda...... also york being so whipped that even years after the girl who barely looked at him the whole time they were dating finally broke things off, he STILL wants her. hilarious.

the most plausible situation though is probably established yorklina gains tucker as a third (probably for a threeway tbh). this is in character but personally i think its MORE in character if tucker approaches lina about a threeway with her and her bf and gets rejected. rip tucker you never had a chance 🙏

[easy-revenge]

Well, now I'm curious. Why do you think Angel had deeper feelings for Aki? Go crazy

ahahah ur wish is my command ~

now bear with me a lot of this relies on things that are up to interpretation so brace urselves for me reaching and being maybe a tiny bit delusional thanks

so, i will deliberately not talk about the very popular moments that akiangel has, i can do a separate post about them at some point, but i want to focus specifically on angel.

meaning: scenes where their feelings and actions are reciprocated like saving each other, helping each other live longer etc will not be mentioned in this post.

lets take this chronologically:

- bomb devil arc

angel is the personification of duality. we know he exists as an oxymoron. from his name all the way to his personality.

this for me is the core of what i think angel is as a character. however i wont get into analysing angel's whole internal conflict rn.

(i have a post talking about angel's feelings, the grief and remorse he must feel with no recollection of what brought them on. I'll talk about that in depth some other time bc even though it plays into this part, we'll stray from the subject. i thought it was worth mentioning briefly though)

that's not what i wanted to talk about in this scene. i want to focus on the second part, which happened after reze's death.

in that scene, makima had ordered angel to bring aki with him to the scene. angel disregarded that order and came alone, which led to makima "accusing" him of being kind for sparing aki from the task of killing a girl. angel replies to this with "i am an angel after all".

what gets me the most about this beautiful scene is that as we now know, makima is the control devil. her word is law. even when she's not actively making ppl obey her will, we know her commanding aura makes it difficult for anyone to stray from her orders. despite that, here is angel, casually going against a direct order to keep aki from doing sth he doesn't want to do.

this might not seem like much, but follow my thought process here.

the infamous scene. contrary to popular belief, im here to talk about the first picture rather than the later two.

the moment between aki letting go of angel's shirt and grabbing his hand, angel gets a flash of the human he was in love with before makima found him.

i used to believe he got that flash bc he thought he was finally approaching his own death (still a valid interpretation), however here rolls a very popular theory about makima's power.

we know who she can control has to do with status, who views her as superior and whatnot. however, at the very end of part 1, we have power breaking her control as she thinks about her moments with denji. in that scene, power is still afraid of makima, so why is makima unable to take control of her?

a lot of ppl have interpreted this as a "weakness" to makima's power. more specifically, that strong feelings have the power to break her control over someone, at least briefly.

rolling with this, we can assume this is what happened with angel in this scene. for just a second he gets to access the memories that makima has locked away. the next question is, what are his strong feelings about in that moment?

we know that angel isn't afraid of death, he's been waiting for it. taking that into consideration, I don't think it was the feelings about his impending death that made makima's hold on him loosen.

i think it was aki. being saved. being cared for. being cared for so unconditionally, by someone who doesn't have two months of his life to spare. by someone who by all means should not care about angel at all.

immediately afterwards, angel is held. held protectively over a chest, against a storm. we don't know how long it's been since angel has been in a situation similar to this but we can assume it's been a long time.

in my potentially delusional opinion, that feels powerful enough to shake makima's control even for a moment.

you might have guessed where im heading with all this.

- gun devil arc:

here. in this very scene. we see the shock on angel's face as aki gives himself up. the horror of what it can mean, the trigger of memory of what it had meant for him in the past.

in this scene, angel regains all the memories makima took from him, without her permission.

makima doesn't seem swayed by this, but she does comment on it, indicating it wasn't her doing at all.

following my previous logic, strong emotions is once again what pushes makima out of angel's head. this time, quite literally kicks her out. even for a little while.

considering makima's power, how easily she takes complete control of him right after anyway, we can only imagine how strongly angel felt about aki losing himself to her in that moment.

now it's up to anyone to interpret this as whatever they want. it's up to anyone to call me crazy and completely disregard this whole thing since it's thriving on subtext and theory along with analysis powered by hyperfixation.

i personally cannot shake the feeling that there are at least romantic undertones here. there are so many akiangel scenes i didn't talk about in this post, so many very blatant hints that akiangel's bond was never friendship. there was tension from start to finish and there's no other explanation for it.

as for angel specifically, since this post is about his feelings, we know he's been in love before. with a human nonetheless. we know he has the capacity for it. I don't think im reaching to think that caring so deeply and wholeheartedly for a human again could mirror these feelings.

i dont think its too unlikely for him to be in love again. but that's just me.

i was asked to go crazy and crazy i went lmao. my asks are open for more prompts for me to analyze. i have sm more to talk about if anyone wants to hear it.

thanks for the opportunity to get this off my chest heheh <3

[sparring-spirals]

RE the Orym/Fearne convo; do you think they’re actually planning on killing Imogen or just incapacitating her?

On the one hand these people are a threat to the Air Ashari and have attacked them before, and I can easily Orym being this ruthless.

On the other hand, I don’t see why Orym would delegate to Fearne unless they were talking about taking her out non-lethally? She seems much more suited to (and less conflicted about) being the distraction.

(I also think it would be kind of hilarious for Ashley and Liam’s plan to just be “knock her out, grab her, leg it” and for the two of them to have chosen just the most euphemistically loaded way possible to discuss this at the table)

Sorry for the delay on this, my brain is cooperating excellently and thats why it took multiple days to watch a two minute conversation. Now that I HAVE seen it, with the caveat of still not having watched the rest of the episode:

I think the plan is to do whatever is needed, in the moment- the conversation felt more like trying to prepare themselves for the possibility, not just for "taking Imogen out" but for acting against her at all. Acknowledging the amount of danger Imogen poses, locking eyes, asking each other: are you with me? always.

They both say, at different points through the conversation: this probably wont be necessary. I'm sure it will be fine. Itll be good! There are already so many things to worry about. But that silent "if", was finally spoken too. If its not fine? If the worst comes to pass? If Imogen becomes another concern, in the middle of hell?

Orym asking Fearne to do the deed was a little surprising, but rewatching that exchange, and thinking about the opposite, I think it makes sense. Fearne is well suited for a distraction, yeah, but- this is more than that. This is an intentional deception against someone Fearne likes very much, that Fearne really cares about. It would be a deception intended to end in harm to something she loves. I think that's very different from the lies Fearne likes to tell. I think it would be- difficult, at best.

On top of that- Imogen is dangerous. They love her, but they know- she is powerful, immensely so. And so against them- she is dangerous.

The person in the "distraction" role is the one most likely to be in danger. im not sure Orym could contend with giving that role to Fearne, even if it means the final moves are less lethal than is necessary.

(Maybe there is a part of him that hopes for that, too. Neither of them want to do this. Both of them hoping for the best. But Fearne is the one to raise the worry, and Orym is the one to voice the hard possibilities. he has to be. If it comes down to it- if- the roles are bad either way. Its all going to be a nightmare.

If it comes down to it- if. Orym asked Fearne: Are you with me? and Fearne said: Always. And that's what it boils down to, right? No matter what they plan out, if it all goes to hell, it'll come down to the trust, and whatever happens from there.)

(I agree. Fearne seems less suited for this kind of lethality, against someone she loves. Duty over emotion. But also. Fearne loves all these people, and maybe loves Orym a little extra. And if push comes to shove, Fearne trusts Orym, the most. His judgement, his love, his guidance. And so. Are you with me? Always.)

[orpiknight]

So....what is your take on Aziraphale's last"I forgive you?

I took it as a, "you're making a mistake, and I forgive you" after that KISS UGH IM STILL ANGY

Oh boy. Kewkies coming at me with the big ones. Alrighty.

I think there are several things as to what it could mean. That it's a layered situation...

Maybe "I forgive you" could be a bit of a nervous "I don't know what to do or what else to say". And a follow-over from Season 1. A reaction for when Crowley digs his heels in and asserts something that makes Aziraphale uncomfortable. Or that he should be offended by. Is he offended by the kiss? Did he dislike it? No, I personally don't think so. But should he? By an angel's standards, who shouldn't be able to fall in love, especially with a demon? To like being intimate with a demon? Probably.

Maybe "I forgive you" for impulsively forcing him to have to face their feelings in such a dramatic way. For Crowley making his desperate last-ditch attempt be their first kiss. Something that's overtly tangible and inarguably happened.

Maybe "I forgive you" in a redemption sense. To press the idea that Crowley isn't unforgivable and could come to Heaven with him right then if he would only accept it. This could be Aziraphale's desperate last-ditch attempt. If he says it stubbornly enough, then maybe it can mean something. "I forgive you, so damn it Crowley, come on. Get it together and come with me." But that's meaningless to Crowley, because he doesn't care if someone gives him a ticket back to Heaven. He doesn't want to. Don't bother even trying.

Maybe "I forgive you" for not understanding that his plan, in his mind, is the best thing for them to do. For giving up on Heaven instead of trying to make a difference. For suggesting they run away and give up on earth instead of trying to protect it from Heaven's plans. For not believing in Aziraphale to have the ability to achieve this vision, which must hurt. Or that they could work together to achieve it.

And yes. Maybe "you're making a mistake, and I forgive you." That Aziraphale thinks he's being short-sighted. That Crowley's choice means he can't see the big picture and is being ignorant. That he's making a mistake, but Aziraphale forgives him for it anyway.

Several possibilities. Which is what these are. Not saying any of these are definitely correct.

And Crowley's disappointed sigh and "don't bother" could be in response to any of it. I can imagine how he wouldn't have it in him to deal with Aziraphale's conflicted feelings dredging up the forgiveness thing again. Don't bother starting that, he can't even engage it.

I believe the whole thing is layered. It goes on during a situation that's extremely difficult for them to catch their breath. So much had just happened. It's all been very emotional and full of new things. Crowley even looked exhausted by that point. Aziraphale was feeling a lot of pressure from multiple factors.

I bet we'll get even more insight for analysis of this all over again next season.

[astroyongie]

EXO March Reading Edition

Note: Please remember to take my words lightly and to enjoy the reading !

Suho

Love: His situation is complicated, because Junmyeon is in a relationship, but currently things are a little complicated.They haven’t seen each other for a couple of times, they are having troubles communicating what they want. Because Junmyeon is pressed by his family to settle and marry but his partner doesn’t seem to want that life. He has been understanding of their needs and wants, but his voice his left out. Junmyeon spends a lot of time with his friends and I see someone that he will meet next week that will help him with this

Career: Overall things seem good, he only has some difficulty decisions to make concerning where his career is going. His managers are behind him, and he has good plans overall. Junmyeon dedicates himself by helping his members on their work but also helping other trainees and even other idols

Health:

Physical: Is going through some digestive issues, nothing serious  

Emotional: He is undergoing treatment his his past traumas and his emotional health that has been having hard time lately

Xiumin

Love: I didn’t got much info for Minseok’s reading. He is still dating his non idol partner and things seem to be going just fine. He is happy with his relationship and he might even think about taking this to the next step !

Career:  He had some collabs and projects he started to work on, but it seems like the company pushed it a little to be released later. He has been close to the higher ups and he is taking his career into his own hands. He doesn’t wish to become a collateral effect of SM’s issues

Health:

Physical: Blood pressure should be checked, because he has a bad circulation. Teeth and headaches are recurrent lately, also his legs feel heavy, probably due to that circulation thing  

Emotional: Working on his mental health, it’s a difficult period for him at the moment

Baekhyun

Love: His love life is confused, I don’t think Baekhyun is currently dating as an serious thing, but more having fixed flings with one person in particular.  The relationship is very discreet, not many people know about it, mostly because he wishes for it to be kept under the radar. He also doesn’t feel ready to give anyone a healthy relationship for the moment

Career:  He is extremely upset with how his career is being managed by the company at the moment. He feels stuck with ideals he doesn’t want to meet, there is arguments and I kinda see the company blackmailing him to do whatever they want him to do. Baekhyun clearly is getting fed up with their shit

Health:

Physical: Rather okay, just some headaches sometimes

Emotional: Mental health is awful and he isn’t being followed by a professional at the moment. Not only his hormonal issues don’t help him, but Back also doesn’t sleep well, he has depressive episodes and his mind is troubled

Chen

Love: Complicated, I don’t want to debate that much when it comes to Jongdae’s situation. I just want to say he has been spending more time with his “family of heart” (friends per exemple), then his actual family which generates conflicts

Career:  He is working on his solos activities again, he is getting everything ready and settled for. I also see him participating in a lot of tv shows and stuff like that, im working independently. However he isn’t happy with the company either, mostly because they don’t pay him in the right dates, and they keep juggling him and wanting different things for him

Health:

Physical: He is definitely sick with something, since all my sickness cards came out. It’s something related with his heart condition

Emotional: X

Chanyeol

Love: Chanyeol is still in a relationship. I will have to check if this person is the same person he was dating in August. In any case I see a lot of complicated moments on his relationship, mostly due to choices and not being in the same page with his partner. But other than that, he is in love and complexity into his relationship. I suppose he wants to take this further but his partner isn’t ready for it

Career:  So much conflict, like a lot. He has been arguing and fighting against his company, trying to communicate his feelings and his needs on his career, but the managers and higher ups discard his words. That gets him very annoyed

Health:

Physical: Rather okay, just some stomach aches sometimes

Emotional: He is okay and stable mentally

D.O.

Love: Kyungsoo seem to be single at the moment, he keeps getting disappointed in love and he isn’t happy with the people that cross his path romantically speaking. At the moment he is trying to focus only on his career and letting the rest come whenever it wants to come

Career:  A lot of things happening. I see that some coworkers aren’t happy with the path that he took, but he doesn’t care less. Kyungsoo is happy with his career, he is having a lot of projects to work on, he is being blessed with stable income and good karma. A lot of his projects are going well and this year he will show many colors, as a singer and actor as well.  

Health:

Physical: He also had some stomach issues but everything is okay now, he is under meds to fix that

Emotional: Needs to slow down and adapt himself to his natural emotional rhythm. He self doubts a lot

Kai

Love: His love status is.. well complicated to understand. I don’t know if he is still in a relationship or not, but this thing seem like it’s breaking into pieces. Jongin isn’t happy, he is disappointed and I feel like he will separate from this person unfortunately

Career: Despite his comeback being upon us, he doesn’t seem happy with his the whole thing was managed. Firstly because they discussed and argued a lot about what the comeback was supposed to be and again the company made him adopt something he didn’t fully agree with. But Jongin doesn’t have his say on this. Someone in the company wants to harm him

Health:

Physical: Insulina levels should be checked out for possible diabetes status, kidneys, liver and bladder as well, he needs to drink more water. His vertebras too, his body is getting used from dancing so much

Emotional: Rather okay mentally, but his toxic environment doesn’t help him

Sehun

Love: He too isn’t in a relationship, Sehun only has flings and recently he was having a fling with a older person that is divorced (they met in august 2022 and they started the fling around December). He knows that this won’t ever gets serious and for now he is just enjoying their company

Career:  He lost os much money, however thankfully he was bale to get it all back with some of his projects. There’s someone inside the company that supports him a lot, even financially. Because of that, even with minimum work he is able to secure a wealthy life

Health:

Physical: He is okay, he probably got a cold not long ago

Emotional: His energy is a little rocky but he is fine

Lay

Love: Okaaay.. I won’t be able to argument a lot on what is happening in Yixing’s love life.. Let’s say he is in a relationship, but things happens, responsibilities needs to be taken, family is involved. That’s all I can say

Career:  His relationship with work is extremely unhealthy but it’s making him very very wealthy so he keeps going. I see him traveling a lot this year for his career and business related things

Health:

Physical: Headaches due to lack of sleep

Emotional: Depressive episodes are recurrent and the boy doesn’t sleep, like at all and it’s extremely unhealthy. He also has unhealthy habits and consumptions, dark thoughts and a lot of issues that need to be solved

[fairycosmos]

i feel like ur almost the only person who i can talk to about this. i lost my brother similar to you also almost three years ago. how do you feel about the angus cloud situation? i couldn’t even read the full article bc i related to his situation so well and it hit me to my core. my mom and i almost both took our lives together days after his passing and sometimes i feel guilty for still being here when i wanted to just end it all and still do bc life’s not worth it without him. i also judge myself bc i feel like bc i didn’t leave i’m not showing how horrible i truly feel (to both him, myself, and others) idk. i just wanted ur thoughts on feeling guilty and also feeling invalidated in how we handle our grief

yeah honestly i've been avoiding articles on it like ever since i heard the news ive just been kind of blocking it out, did the same w demi lovato's drug overdose in (i think) 2021 i just can't even begin to approach news like that. it fucks me up for weeks/months at a time and i cant afford to feel like that honestly. i'm so so sorry youre going through it too and i'm sorry youre in such a dark place, i know me and my mam often are too. it's the kind of feeling words cant really touch and i wont try but i absolutely do understand and i think everything youre going through makes a very painful sort of sense - the guilt, the absolute despair, having to go along with the way life just moves forward and then feeling bad because youre not displaying how awful you truly feel. i feel like i'm feeling my sister in so many ways every day honestly, i feel like i failed her the day she died and every day since. guilt is such a big part of my grief, and i think it's one of the most unavoidable and natural parts of it too unfortunately. we'll always feel a heavy responsibility towards them because we love them so so much and the worst thing that couldve happened to them happened. i think there's not many ways for the brain to make sense of that without going a bit mad. there are so many moments that ive wished i could swap places with her, so many moments i just want to die, and still i'm here and i still i have to deal with being here. those are very difficult, conflicting emotions - im so so sorry. i hope you have the support you deserve in your life and i hope youre able to find a way to mourn your brother that feels a bit more cathartic (if there even is such a version of mourning.) i hope you're able to talk about this with a grief counsellor or someone who can help you make sense of what youre thinking and feeling in a way that doesn't hurt so much - not because i think it'll solve anything or bring your brother back, because you deserve to be listened to and validated throughout the grieving process. for your own good, whether you feel you deserve it or not - you do. if you ever want to talk about him, tell stories about him and what he was like, or talk about what ur going please know im always here. i'd like to talk about becca (my sister) more too and share her memory in a way that makes her feel real again. sending a massive hug. x

[kuunibal]

hello!

love your blog

and i wanted to ask you. sorry for long paragraphs

ive felt confused since last year about some personal life things, and from your introductory post i feel like you might have some guidance or thoughts mayhaps. my ex is a best friend for sure and he does try his best as a friend, though i know i do not fulfill him wholly and that he wants more friends, and his only obsessions have always ever been with strangers who he stayed away from knowing he had no chance to befriend (so far), including when we dated which was hard for me. he broke up with me and could be not so sympathetic as his own feelings which i hurt came first, and lost feelings for me very easily once things got hard although i had loved him for long. although he cares for me, i know he has zero interest and dont want to make him uncomfortable, and i dont know what to do with myself. im a hopeless romantic( and have just been abandoned not too long ago by a person who had made me 'move on' romantically, and who gave me hopes to be let down). and now i had some internal conflict about this one ex again since he is still a friend. i suppose it's more venting than anything, since things already ended for almost a year.

i have felt really confused on things and romantic relationships since it feels like its too rare to find the person who will make that choice to always choose me. ive always wanted romance but things are odd and my obsession is never rewarded. i dont know if you might have thoughts, i just felt compelled to share with someone who also had an ex who is a close friend too. if you have any opinion on romance or anything you might have to say, i would simply be happy to hear. i hope you have a good day and good luck

As you have noted, it is unlikely that he will see you in the romantic sense in the future, and it is difficult to have a platonic friendship with someone you still have lingering feelings for and history with. You mention not knowing what to do with yourself: what is motivating you to remain friends despite the struggle?

I hope that you will receive the affection and steadfastness you desire from someone capable of giving it. I am wishing you the best of luck as well.

[deafknell]

whats ur writing process like? :o for both ur solo fic writing process and ur writing process when it comes to collabs? just asking out of curiosity as well 🙏🙏 love ur fics op <3

Ahh bless you <3

Generally my writing process is kind of... all over the place. How it works for me probably isn't the most efficient, but it's one I've built after working with some close friends on a lot of collab projects.

I usually start with, well, the basic idea. Often my fics come from either having read something in canon and going "man I wanna see this" or it's a requested fic from a friend of mine.

From there, I tend to write out the barebones premise onto a doc as a stream of thought. No editing, no backtracking, just the basic ideas of what I want characters to say or do, and anything important that pops to mind from the idea. I'll tend to include little notes to myself like side stories to check or style notes here.

I'll use a WIP as an example here:

Joshua stares, very mixed feelings. Im sure they were no match to you, brother. But julius keeps hyping up subaru, and doesnt seem to be relenting on this. So joshua doesnt push, and instead asks about the rest of the camp? Ana pipes up about roswaal being quite conniving, someone not to be underestimated. joshua frowns. isnt roswaal that weird noble with lots of rumours around him (see: josh juukulius careful encyclopedia 1)

Nothing too fancy here - just trying to get the basic idea out on a doc with the bits and pieces needed to make it come together.

Then I try to refine it a little so it's closer to a draft than quick notes for me to refer to:

[Joshua stares at Julius. Very conflicted -- Julius has made a good friend, but he's putting himself down again. Another Reinhard type, possibly. "I'm sure they were no match to you, Elder Brother." Julius waves his hand dismissively, fond look on his face. Says something praising Subaru for his efforts in the Whale hunt. Joshua narrows his eyes, but doesn't push further. He knows his brother won't relent on this. Redirect focus to the rest of the Emilia camp. Set up main points of interest - Roswaal, and Emilia. Do some background work here; where is everybody sat? Noise of the restaurant? Details. Feed into the quiet discomfort Joshua has by making things go quiet before he asks about everyone's opinions on their rivals]

Lots more detail here, while still keeping room for flexibility -- I don't like being too strict with my outlines outside of plot points because otherwise I end up feeling like I'm not challenging/doing anything creative, just following a script.

After that point? I just write it out like normal. If I think the start of the fic is boring, I'll start writing from a point that actually interests me, then reassess if maybe I want a cold open or not for the story. I'm a massive nerd for the small details, stuff like body language or subtleties in what characters focus on so generally I enjoy starting from a place with a loooot of room for little notes on background.

For collabs, it's very much down to who I work with! The main people I work with are the reason I adopted this style of planning, but usually I leave it up to my collab partner to decide how we wanna plan, since I'm usually flexible in that regard! I used to write a lot more freeform without plans, so it's primarily for the benefit of telling a more well rounded story I plan at all.

I'd definitely love to do more collab work. It's difficult trying to fit schedules together, especially as I'm quite lazy with writing, but collab work always feels fun and ends up making me write outta guilt of not being that one person in the group project. Think the only thing that stops me nowadays is trying not to overcommit, or seem far too clingy with writers I really admire haha.

[sho-minamimoto]

6 20 23 Sho

1 7 8 23 Shiba!

Sho

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Hmm.... hard to say since Sho is just. completely batshit. I guess the easiest and most obvious answer would be that we're both artists and like to find beauty in aesthetically strange things. But I dont think i have a single thing in common with him personality wise LOL

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think susukichi and sho have extremely similar temperaments + quirks and if they weren't on opposite sides of The Conflict they'd get along great. I said once before that Susukichi would be the Sho Minamimoto of NEO if sho literally wasn't also already in the game. Their vibes are super similar and they both want to have a fun time.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This one marketing image from when the anime was airing is the funniest thing in the world to me. like. why the fuck is sho even here. he is in no way buddies with anyone in the hachiko gang (during this specific timeframe anyways) there is literally NO logical reason for him to be posed alongside this specific group of characters here. This image from sho's pov is just him + guy hes actively trying to kill + guy he's stalking only bc he's joined at the hip with the guy he's trying to kill + guy he met twice and beat the shit out of one of those times + 2 people he's never met or interacted with before ever. On a marketing level its clear they just wanted to include him with the main characters simply bc hes a super popular character among fans but it's makes for the most unintentionally hilarious image ever.

Shiba

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

First. he's extremely funny and dresses like a harlot. Second THE LAYERSSSS Shiba's primary motivation is like a puzzle that the narrative gives you all the pieces to and then invites you to solve. Not in that the game doesn't tell you what it is At All, it says as much that he's on a powertrip towards ascension, but it's difficult to wrap your head around Why until you deliberately examine and unravel each of his relationships with the other shinjuku reapers: how they affected him, what their side of the story is, why they're emotionally estranged but still sticking together, etc. I enjoy that you have to take the time to put it together yourself, but also the full picture you get once that puzzle is complete is one that i enjoy immensely. The fact that the core of shiba's plight is rooted in his relationships (or lack thereof) is very true to the spirit of twewy and I greatly appreciate that they applied all this to the game's main villain AND gave him a chance for redemption on top of it. His final scene is one of my favourites in the game and really sticks with me.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The memes. Shiba's so easy to meme on its great. I have a folder of shiba memes on my desktop whenever i see a new shitpost or edit i Have to save it. im glad he gets clowned on so hard. Shi Basuks Cok lives in my head rent free. I wish shiba's va did small comms like I've seen other voice actors do sometimes bc i would pay him money to hear him voice act that post as Shiba for real. But i can dream

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I know i like Just finished talking abt how much i love the shiba memes but i also dislike how Majority of what i see of shiba is Just the memes and jokes. I wouldn't go as far as say i despise them at all (or i wouldn't have a folder of shiba memes) but I think its disappointing that i hardly see anyone actually take him seriously as a character or give him any consideration for analysis. Or not as much as I'd like to see, anyways (when i do see it it fucks hard though.) I also get the impression sometimes that some people take delight in the memes + clowning on shiba specifically bc they think he's just Not well written or interesting which bums me out a little.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

this clown shiba edit i made a yearish ago. i hold it close to my heart.

[facebones]

"i already consider magnus and skwis as characters with ocd" please elaborate

a user made a great tumble about ocd skwisgaar! im in agreement with it, and it can be found here :-) !

headcanoning a diagnosis on magnus is a bit difficult, as parts of his character are flawed from the rushed pace of season 4 and theres a purposeful dramatization of his character being a villain. though personal analysis has led me to believe he could at least have ocd. the judgement is somewhat based on interpretations, but i will have an explanation for ocd mag under the keep reading!

i found myself entertaining the thought of ocd magnus when i came across a study between frued and a patient noted as ratman. ratman was dealing with intrusive thoughts, though his patterns of experiences reminded me of magnus. simplified but, they both started in a situation where they attacked an individual and instantly followed a physical repercussion -> roughly 20 years later they are acting out and projecting feelings from this event -> also this projection is on seemingly uninvolved people? (for ratman, it'd been freud and his girlfriend, though for magnus it'd been toki and abigail.) between ratman and magnus, the projection itself and timing of events (when what happened at which age) does differ, but understanding ratmans processes, and seeing the parallels they have to magnus has led to a conclusion of magnus potentially having ocd. "obsessions" play into the perfectionism and controlling attitudes that got him kicked out of the band, and also the mental drive and replay for revenge that heavily dictated his goals for 20 years. in fact, you could suggest that he was trying to improve himself over the 20 years he was seemingly uninvolved with vengeance, but the still-growing popularity of dethklok would eventually be too overwhelming and triggering towards his already existing obsessions. he would see a single dethklok poster, and itd trigger an intrusive replay of him getting kicked out- and eventually, harsh thinking like this would cause him to shatter like glass. "compulsions" are something we can relate more directly towards known actions. we see a compulsive style of stab -> stitch -> rinse -> repeat with how he treats toki and abi in the doomstar. i think it'd make sense for a character of his personality to hold repetitive indulgences or compulsions. he is also very quick to project his beliefs onto others, hence his keeping of toki and abi. for mma, theyd been mindless bait, but magnus would develop a complex "relationship" with the prisoners. he can only insist that they are also victims, and heavily uses their presence as an external outlet for internal conflicts. i think its safe to add that, with having evident ocd while in the band, we can assume he already feared some sort of social isolation from the others. hes already a bit older, doesnt quite feel like he is always being heard, and overall seems to "disconnect"- he would already feel cast out, leading to a self-sabotage of social relationships that he mistakes to be more negative than they actually are. he would unknowingly punish himself to a "mental obscurity" before dethklok could do anything of it. i also find that his character reflects aspects of paranoia, though i havent looked into it as much. hopefully this was understandable and decently formatted though lol. also thank you for the ask! i love analyzing stupid men in metalocalypse LOL.