#im staying at my parents house bc i was house sitting for them but i slept so much better on the guest room mattress than on my own
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help
#alex talks#one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were#hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend#mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and#paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to#invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????'#and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay#overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day#honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10#leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the#most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried#hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive#worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric?#nobody reads these right
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many of you may be unaware that i have been going cazyyyy over herobrine qnd mc lore in general recently. im in my beautiful world
#the like 2 ppl who follow me on bluesky and the same 2 ppl who follow my gaming blog LOL#but ouygghhhh oughh#life is so beautifklll. steve and alex ARGHHHHHH#in my minddddd ok um. im gonna make a proper post for my hcs for them soonish hopefully#but in my mind. steve is like very anxious and realllyy rwlly struggles around most ppl#he grew up in a veryyy small community and didnt rlly fit in well so he left#he has dissociative amnesia and has ptsd from seeinh someone (maybe his parents) die to mobs as a child#he is kinda alright at building simple stuff but not very fancy. r/malelivingspace#he struggles to kill monsters cus of his trauma and to kill animals bc he feels bad. lol#he has a little farm of chickens for eggs. and mostly livess off those and bread#hes not veggie he just cant kill them himself. he later gets hero/alex to get meat instead#ummm i think he wld enjoy cooking nice stuff and likes to decorate the house nicely. but struggles to do it for himself#so only once the other two come along#alex comes from a family of hunters. so she is rlly nifty w a bow and able to fare slightly better in combat#she has a huge interest in the ancient miners and their history. big collector of books and maps etc#she makes redstone things from old blueprints she finds but otherwise isnt great at it#she is audhd. actually teah all of them r autistic btwwww.#she is not great at building cus she moved around a lot. and finds mining boringggg#but it works nicely cus steve collects a load of ore. and then she uses it to trade etc#she is much better at talking to others (as in… it doenst make her feel sick likw w steve)#so whenever they go to villages she does all the talking. and often tries to barter too (mostly unsuccessfully)#she ends up staying w steve after some sort of incident where her family/community die too LOL#i shld say that ummm. families in mc r not like in real life. so in the case of steve and alex they were not directlyraised by their parents#this is mostly due to how often ppl outside of villages die. its easier to not focus so much on blood relation#herobrine. is originally ender. and ends up in the overworld during the time of the ancients#long story short he plays a big part in the rise and fall of the civilisation. and then goes into hiding#he can come across as rather formal and old fashioned sometimes due to his history#but he has also been sitting around doing fuck all for thousands of yrs. so he is always up for whtever steve and alex r doing#he doesnt talk aloud too much and when he does its very stilted. he finds telepathy slightly easier#UM he is great at building. and redstone and brewing. i ran out of tags Okay thats it
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pet sitting for this family and they’re already annoyed we me for certain reasons and now i think i totally accidentally bought an on demand thing on their tv for like $10 bc it just. didn’t even ask. and now i’m like haha heyyyyy i know you already don’t seem to like me but uhhhhh here’s me awkwardly paying you back that and then a bunch extra as an apology please don’t kill me!!!
#as for the reason they’re annoyed w me already:#they told me before that i didn’t have to stay over at their house if i didn’t want to#that i could spend more time at my own home than at theirs and i just needed to make sure the dogs got fed and got to play and everything#and that was important for me to hear bc this was the week i was planning on spending time w my mom while she’s off work#AND this pet sitting job goes through new year’s day and i always spend new year w me family#*my#so i was like ok cool so i’ll be able to spend new year’s w my family still!! rad!!#but i’m still staying over at the pet sitting house bc i wanted to make sure the pups are getting proper play time#and they get enough love and attention bc i know they spend most of the day in their crates usually#bc everyone in the house works or is in school all day and i want them to feel like they’re getting fun vacation too#but i went out to lunch w my parents yesterday and was gone for a couple hours and i got a text saying i need to start making sure#i let the dogs have enough outdoor play time and i realized the owners have been watching me through the cameras outside#and they’re upset abt me being gone for a couple hours. so they’re already angry with me#and now i’m like NOOO PLS IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT A COUPLE HOURS WOULD BE OK#they didn’t miss their breakfast or dinner and i never crate them otherwise until sleepy time#i didn’t realize a couple hours would be too long and i feel REALLY BAD NOW but also. she said it would be okay if i wasn’t here always??#anyways. that’s the story of how i’ve already fucked up this job in like three days
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Ok ok so reader is a pureblood and you and Sirius are to get married, so your family gets invited to dinner at the Black’s to celebrate but then the reader sees Walburga treat Sirius badly and decides to prank her (up to you if she gets caught afterwards)
okay I LOVED this idea so much so I hope i did it justice. Thank you for requesting! Keep em coming bae, keep em coming. I also realized that youu might have wanted it to be consensual marriage like they're in love and stuff and it's not an arranged marriage so I'm sorry if that's what you meant. If you want it that way just request again and I'll rewrite it for you!
Horribly Right
Sirius Black x reader Summary; after seeing Sirius being slapped by his mother, you decide to pull a prank that's outcome goes horribly... right? Words; 2,000+ Warnings: abuse, getting disowned If you or someone you know are expiriencing domestic abuse please do not stay silent. Contact someone you trust, the local police, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233, for America, I'm unsure about other countries). If anyone is expiriencing trauma from abuse or anything else my DMs are ALWAYS open, I care about you guys a lot and dont want you to suffer in silence. You deserve to feel okay. On a more serious note PLEASE REQUEST THINGS I LOVE BRINGING YOUR IDEAS TO LIFEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! also im on vacation so it might take a bit but pls I'll do them and not proofread bc i have too many sunburns (thats a logical excuse)
“And you will behave. Do you understand?” My dad finished his lecture and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
“I understand.” I mumbled.
He roughly grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, “What was that?”
“I understand, sir.”
He let go and straightened out his jacket with a deep breath, before lifting his hand and knocking on the door of the Black manor. The door opened and I looked down and smiled slightly at the sight of a house elf. He glared at us and opened the door farther so we could walk in.
“Thank you.” I said quietly as I passed by and he looked taken aback, but he shook his head and ignored me.
“Kreacher! You ugly thing, who is it? Who’s at the door?” Mr. Black asked as he walked into the hallway. “Ah, the L/n’s.” He motioned for us to follow him down the hallway and we did. I looked over as we passed a room, muffled voices spoke quickly.
“Do not mind that. My wife is simply making sure our son is ready for your daughter.” As if on cue the door opened and out walked Walburga and her son, Sirius Black.
“Ah, m/n, how lovely to see you.” Walburga said with a fake smile, my mother nodded, holding back a grimace at the woman she hates so dearly.
“Walburga. Pleasure.” She said shortly. “Sirius, you’re a handsome young man. Perfect for my daughter.” Sirius nodded, not looking up from the ground. Walburga sneakily hit his hand, hoping my family wouldn’t notice. I did.
He looked up with a forced smile, “Thank you, ma’am.” He glanced at me. “Y/n, you look lovely tonight.” Walburga smiled smugly at her son.
I smiled at him, “Thank you, Sirius. You look rather fine, yourself.”
“Shall we sit down to eat?” Mr. Black asked and we all nodded.
“Regulus, sweetie, it’s dinner time!” Walburga called up and almost instantly quick footsteps were heard coming down the stairs.
Regulus smiled at me once he saw me and I gave him a nod, returning his smile. We were always friends at Hogwarts, both being in Slytherin. Sirius and I, however, weren’t. If you asked anyone else, we hated each other. If you asked one of us… we still hated each other.
We sat at the table, my parents on either side of me and Sirius directly across from me. I flashed him a smile and he gave a small one back. Neither of us wanted this and it was obvious.
“So, I was thinking they should be married right after school ends. Until then, they should be courting each other.” Mr. Black said.
“Courting each other? Wha-”
“Sirius.” Walburga cut him off, sending him a glare and he looked down at his plate angrily. The adults continued talking about the marriage and what it would be like until then and the kids stayed silent. Only nodding and agreeing when asked a question.
I cleared my throat and took the napkin off my lap, gently placing it on the table and standing up. Everyone looked at me and I put on a pleasant smile, “I apologize, but may I use the restroom?”
“Of course.” Walburga said. “It’s just down that hall and to the left.” I nodded with a smile and walked to the bathroom.
Once the door closed my smile dropped and I sighed, looking in the mirror. I turned on the sink and splashed some water on my face, trying to pause the pressure that was building behind my eyes. This can’t be my life. I can’t be forced into a marriage with someone I don’t love. I dried off my face and smiled at myself in the mirror, before flushing the toilet, despite it not being used, and turning the water back on, pretending to wash my hands.
I stepped out of the restroom quietly, and began walking back to the table before once again hearing muffled voices, or rather this time, just one. Walburga. I looked back to where the dining room was, silently contemplating whether or not to follow Walburga’s voice or go sit down. It was when she said Sirius’ name and a loud smack sounded out that I decided to find them.
I walked down the hallway slowly, careful not to make any noise. I peaked my head around a corner and immediately retracted it.
“I told you to behave, Sirius, why can’t you listen?” I looked back in time to see her slap him again. “You are a disgrace. Let this dinner go well. I demand it, Sirius.” He looked down at the ground and nodded.
I quickly walked back to the table and smiled as I sat down at my seat. Walburga and Sirius came after me and sat down. I didn’t fail to notice the glassy look in Sirius’ eyes, and the red handprint forming on his cheek, obviously being covered up by a spell that wasn’t performed correctly.
“I believe it’s time for desert, yes?” Walburga asked, picking up her and her husbands plate.
“Yes, let me help you, Mrs. Black.” I offered with a smile and she nodded. We picked up the plates as I passed Sirius I placed a small kiss on his cheek. Partly for our parents, but mostly so he knew I was there for him. And of course so I could silently perform a good healing spell, and the red mark slowly turning into a bruise disappeared off his face. Judging by the way he looked at me, he knew what I just did and looked at me thankfully.
I followed Walburga and placed the dishes in the sink. There was an apple pie and a cake sitting on the table.
“I believe everyone wants cake. I’d like the pie. You?” Walburga asked.
“I’d like some pie as well. I’ll cut us two pieces and you ready the cake.” She nodded and quickly cut the cake as I took my time cutting the pie.
When she left the kitchen to deliver the first rounds of cake, I quickly took out my wand. I muttered a spell onto her pie and tucked my wand away again, putting a smile back on my face and bringing out the pie. I set her piece in front of her seat and sat down with mine just as she brought out the last two pieces of cake.
“It looks amazing, mum.” Regulus said and she smiled at her youngest son.
We all began eating at I glanced at Walburga frequently as she ate her pie. My eyes met Sirius’ as he looked at me in question, noticing my glances. I smiled and winked at him. He returned it with a suspicious smile, his eyes squinting at me.
“Oh my, Walburga!” My mother said, her hand going to her heart. I refrained from laughing as I looked at Walburga whos skin was now green and full of warts.
She gasped as she saw her hand and turned around at the small mirror that sat on the wall. Tears filled her eyes as she turned around horrified.
“What did you put in the pie?” Mr. Black asked, utterly disgusted at his wife's state.
“Nothing I- I didn’t do anything different! I don’t kno-” She locked eyes with me, noticing my perfectly normal state, despite eating the same pie as her. She pointed a green finger at me. “You.” She ran around the table and everyone stood as I sped to the other side. A hand grabbed mine and pulled me down the hallway and out the front door. Walburga and my father followed behind us. Sirius and I ran out into the street, laughing our asses off as our hands stayed intertwined.
“Sirius Black! Get back here!” His mother screamed.
I looked behind us to see my father seething and holding up his fist. My step faltered. Zero strikes left. My mind went back to when the striked were first introduced.
My father roughly grabbed my wrist.
“Ow, stop it, you’re hurting me!” Twelve year old me said, trying to pull my wrist free.
He turned around angrily and kneeled down to meet my eyes, “I do no care, you fucking idiot. I don’t understand why you can’t just behave. So, here’s what we're gonna do, you have three strikes left. Everytime you fuck up you lose a strike and once you hit zero you’re done. You’re out of my house and you can fend for yourself. Do you understand?”'
Tears dripped down my cheeks as I nodded, my wrist burning from the pressure. “Y-yes sir.”
I ignored it. I’ll deal with it later. After we were off the street of his family's house we slowed down, breathless.
“You are brilliant.” Sirius said as we walked quietly. I had no clue where but Sirius had somewhere in mind.
I shrugged with an uneasy smile, “What can I say? I’m talented.”
He looked at me, his smile slowly falling, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I sighed, “Nothing. I’m fine.”
He snorted, “No you aren’t. What? Scared you’re gonna get disowned.” I winced and he paused. “Wait, Y/n, are you actually scared they’re gonna disown you?”
“I don’t have to be scared because they already have.”
“What?”
I explained the strikes to him and he looked at me in sadness.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. You shouldn’t have pranked her, I was okay.”
We started walking again as I spoke, “No, it’s okay. She deserved it. She shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
“I feel bad.”
I nudged his arm with a smile, “Don’t be. My parents sucked anyway. Now, where are we going?”
He stopped and turned to a large house, “Here.”
“And what is this place?” I asked as we walked to the door.
He smirked at me and opened the door, “You’ll see.”
I walked in hesitantly and was immediately met with warmth and a sweet smell. It was the exact opposite of Sirius’ house. Little footsteps paddered down the stairs and a little girl came into view, smiling wide despite her two front teeth being missing.
“Siri!” She ran to him and jumped into his arms. He spun her around in a hug before she pulled her head aay, still sitting in his arms. “Look! I lost my other toof!” She pulled her lip up and Sirius smiled.
“I can see that. How much did the tooth fairy give you?”
“I got a whole galleon this time!”
Sirius’ eyes widened, “Woah, girl, you’re rich now!”
She nodded and looked to me as more footsteps came down the stairs.
“Hello, what’s your name? I’m Ella!”
I waved at her, “Hi Ella, I’m-”
“Y/n?” A new voice asked and I looked up from the little girl.
My eyes widened, “James, why am I not surprised this is where Sirius brings me.”
“Ah, James, where are your parents? I need to talk to them.”
“In the living room, I think. Why-”
Sirius handed James Ella, “Perfect. I’ll be back.” He placed a kiss on my cheek, returning the one I gave him earlier and walked off.
“What is going on?” James asked me and I shrugged.
“I was at dinner with his family, pranked his mom-”
“You pranked Walburga? And survived?”
“If you would let me finish. Yes, I did survive, and then we ran off.”
He nodded in approval, “I support.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at him.
“You’re very pretty.” Ella said to me with a smile, her eyes twinkling.
“Why thank you, Ella. You are as well. In fact, I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t you agree James?” He nodded and looked at his little sister with a grin.
“The prettiest.” He agreed and tickled her stomach. She laughed and buried her head in the crook of his neck and Sirius came back, James’ parents following behind him.
His mom smiled at me and grabbed my hand, “Hello sweetie, my name is Euphemia. Sirius told us what happened.”
I looked at Sirius as James’ dad began to speak, “You’ll stay with us, no arguing.” He said warmly.
“What?” James and I asked at the same time.
“What happened? Why is she staying with us?” James asked.
“James.” His mother scolded.
“No I-I don’t care, but just why? She has her own family.”
“I was disowned, James.” He looked at me with sadness.
“I’m sorry.”
I waved him off, “Don’t be. But I can’t stay here.”
“I said no arguing. We have an extra room upstairs.” His dad said.
“Are you gonna be my new sister?” Ella asked and I looked to James’ parents. They nodded and I sighed, smiling at the little girl as James set her down.
“Yeah, I guess I kinda will be your new sister.””
“Yay!” She grabbed my hand. “Come on, let me show you my room and you can meet my dolls!” She looked up to Sirius. “Dolly wants to see you again, Siri. You can come too, James.”
The four of us walked up the stairs and I flashed a final smile at James’ parents before we got to the top.
“Hey, El, you takes James in and get your dolls ready, I need to speak to Y/n for a moment. Alright?” Sirius asked, grabbing my hand.
She nodded, “Alright, come on Jamesie.” She tugged him into her room and I turned to Sirius.
“Thank you.” I said.
He shrugged, “It’s nothing. I figured this was the best place for you to be. James’ family is amazing.”
I nodded, “They are.
Sirius sighed, “Y/n?”
“Yes?”
“I like you. I have for a while. I just thought you should know.”
I smiled, “Like, like or like like?”
He laughed through his nose, a small pink tint littering his cheeks, “Like, like like.”
“I like like you as well, Sirius.”
“Would you maybe-” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Would you let me take you out on a date sometime?”
I giggled and kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger for a second, “Of course.”
Baby tag list (if you want to be in the tag list just comment!): @1lellykins
#aanoia#romance#remus lupin#the marauders#marauders era#james & peter & remus & sirius#sirius black x reader#sirius x reader#sirius being sirius#sirius black
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Can you do the sawyer brothers when their S/O falls to the ground and starts having a seizure? (Plz include Drayton because I'm a simp)
Sawyers reacting to they're S/O falling and having a Seizure
An: lmao don't worry im such a simp for Drayton -> choptops mentioned in all of these lmao sorry
Warnings: sad boys, seizures, mentions of war training -> dissociation and mental illness
Drayton Sawyer
Parental instics activated - he'll jump striaght into action while everyone's panicking -> at first he just things your fainting bc of the heat so hell catch you and lay you down ready to bark orders at his younger siblings until you start shaking then he freezes -> he doesn't really know what to do till he gets yelled intrustctions (curiosity of choptop)
He'll make sure you don't bite your tounge and keep your head in his lap until it's stopped -> his so worried the whole time
The whole house kinda go silent no one dares annoy Drayton whole his sweethearts hurtin'
Infact all the boys kinda stick close to you afterwards always ready to catch you and help ya -> pays to be they're "other parent" you've got a mino army of crazies to help at the touch of a button
Afterwards Drayton will lecture you and ask if this is common -> he'll ask what he should do and like this man's is taking notes!!
He'll make you food -> fully believes a hardy soup can sure anything!
Choptop Sawyer
"Fallin' for me sugar?"
At first he assumes you've just tripped until he doesn't hear your giggle to his flirting then his worried
Whips his head around and is striaght inro action -> again his training in the army kicks in he kinda shuts all his emotions off and just goes on autopilot -> he can't bear to think about what'll happen if this ends badly
He rolls you into the best position and makes sure you don't bite your tounge, hit or head or anything like that -> he'll stay until the sizeures settled then jump into giving you water and bandaging you up
It's crazy the shift in Chop when your hurt he goes from goofy, crazy hippie to stone cold in seconds ordering Nubbins and Drayton around -> his training really kicks in
He won't lecture you like his older brother but he'll wanna know if it's common and how to avoid it
He won't leave your side for the rest of The day -> keeps his arm around your waist for good measure so you don't fall and harm your head
Nubbins Sawyer
He doesn't pick up on you even falling at first -> his rambling about his Camera and pics of you but once he realises he panics -> drops everything and rushes to you
He knows enough to giuide your head inro his lap to stop from harming your head but his feverishly screaming for Chop -> ( as soon as Chop hears twin screaming he'll be there in seconds ♡ )
Chop will calmly tell Nubbins what to do and sit comforting him until you do -> once you've stopped he just pats your head and walks away
Poor Nubbbins is a stuttering worried mess, his got tears down his cheeks and can hardly even get words out "y-y-you sc-a-a-red m-m-me" :(
His like a dotting puppy for the rest of the day constantly running to chop to ask questions and following you around
"Is my camera bad? I can turn flash of sweet thin'" -> he doenst wanna trigger a seizure
Asks so many questions and is your lil shadow for the rest of the day - you wanna go shower? To bad his following - and besides how could he not follow ya? *click aggressively shakes picture*
He'll have you sit in his lap and pamper you he was so scared!
Bubba Sawyer
As soon as you drop a sea of panic squeals leaves them -> this'll cause a rush of footsteps and the boys bursting in!!
Chop again is the one that jumps into action he'll tell Bubba to put your head on his thighs and encoruage them to softly stroke your hair to calm down while he goes about helping ya' can't have his new sibling dying on him can he?
Bubba silently squeals and whimpers while there's orders being thrown around :(
Once you've come to he'll pull you into they're chest and just hold you
They'll make you chop and Drayton tell them what to do next time and will prepare for it!
Lots of cuddles and checking if your okay from them
They'll kiss you on the head and whimper while you tell them you okay -> he was so scared!!
#slasher simp#slasher x reader#texas chainsaw massacre#chop top sawyer#nubbins sawyer#robert sawyer#chop top x reader#bubba sawyer#nubbins x reader#leatherface x reader#drayton sawyer x reader
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personal ramble bc its too long to fit in the tags el oh el ignore pls <3
i can physically feel myself starting to hit a wall the longer i go without a break but like. idk im trying very hard to balance being excited about moving and going to a city i love and adore with my whole heart while also knowing i have so much to do to the point where i havent spoken to any of my friends in. literal months.
im packing and working on college apps and checking in on my grandparents and taking care of my aunts dog who needs physical therapy and making sure the house is kept up and making sure my paperwork is all updated and trying to figure out what to do with my stuff and trying to get last minute doctors appts done, and while i understand that all this stuff is necessary and wont take very long at the end of the day, i also miss my friends so much.
i miss being able to wake up and not have a laundry list of things i need to do. i miss sitting down and writing for fun, and while i have some stuff i want to post its not the same as actively engaging in things. with your friends. i miss downtime. i miss not feeling like i have a countdown clock over my head. i miss talking to people and not feeling like im wasting the very limited amount of time i have.
and like YES i know im so fucking lucky that i can even consider going to grad school in another country and im so lucky to have someplace to move to besides where i am. i knooooow that and i dont take it for granted, but im also so unbelievably tired. im dead on my feet and have been for months. im worried about my grandmother who isnt taking her medication, my grandfather who i can tell is using his denial and fear over the situation to resort to frustration and anger. im worried about my mother being left to live with my aunt while i go. im worried about how hard she works and how poorly she treats herself.
both my parents have told me it will likely be both my grandmothers' last christmas. i havent seen my dads mom in 3 years, and i likely wont even be able to say goodbye to her bc i know my moms mom will need me to stay with her. im staring down the next year with a high likelihood im losing both of them and that fucking terrifies me. im scared that if i get into a school and leave, i will literally never see them again. my grandfather included.
idk im trying not to let myself feel guilty over things ive missed and messages i havent been able to reply to bc i literally dont have the mental capacity to handle that on top of everything im already balancing and all the grief im experiencing while watching my grandmother degrade in real time. i know people miss me and i know people are upset that ive essentially disappeared, but i just dont have the time in the day to do it all and i hate it i hate feeling like ive let people down i hate feeling like i have people waiting on me, my own family included. i hate knowing i cant respond to everyone and i have no other excuses to give besides im just so busy and i cant.
i can only hope that once i leave this place, all the stress of moving will lessen and i can catch my breath a little before getting a job and getting thrown back into the countdown clock again. idk. idk!!!!! it would be nice if i could actually say any of this to my family, but i cant. i know i cant, and they wouldnt get it anyway, which is fine, they have their own issues and stresses and i dont really like disclosing personal stuff to them anyway bc it always bites me in the ass later. but i wish.
idk. i miss my friends. im trying not to feel guilty, but its not working out too well. im moving next week, so i may go quiet for a bit while i try and figure out how i can afford a storage locker so my aunt doesnt throw out everything i own.
hopefully i can catch a break and find some time to do things i actually enjoy, but we'll see.
miss you guys. wish me luck. ♥️
#the problem with being seen as the peppy stable one in the family is that no one really knows what to do when you arent feeling#very fucking peppy. or stable. el em ay oh.#anyway sorry for the radio silence. there will be more of it.#god im so TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#personal
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vent post
tw: self harm, suicide, abusive parents
hiya, sorry guys, but I’m prolly not gonna be active for a while. I almost attempted suicide a few days ago, and starting to self harm again sounds really good right now. Which is super upsetting because I’ve been clean for a while, but now I’m in a really bad place again. my parents are being assholes (like usual) and I’m not allowed to have like any electronics for the next while for absolutely no plausible reason at all. My mom said it’s because I’m not mature because I don’t follow her directions as much as I should, and she thinks I’m always “challenging her authority.” But I probably have autism (we’re waiting for the ados results) and following directions is hard for me, and she has absolutely no empathy for her child with a mental disability? and tumblr was already a secret from my parents, but now that they’ve taken my computer away, I can’t be on tumblr as much, if at all. I’m writing this from my dads ipad im sneaking behind his back. they took my art supplies, school chromebook (I’m not allowed to do homework), a couple books I’ve been reading, and my personal computer. plus the only app I’m allowed to have on my phone that doesn’t come with it is Spotify, cuz I have a bark phone (it’s a parental control thingy for 8 year olds). I also am not allowed to leave my room unless it’s to use the bathroom or eat. I almost attempted suicide on Friday because I snuck out of my house to go sit on the curb of my really busy street. I even have suicide notes written for all my friends, my girlfriend, and my little sister. I got in really big trouble and my parents are really pissed at me for it. they also might make me stop going to therapy bc my therapist doesn’t like them. If anyone has any suggestions for things I can do to occupy my time or ways to feel better, I’d love to hear it. I’m really sad and lonely and scared and I just wanna hang out with my friends and be a normal teenager. I had the third overstimulation meltdown of the day about an hour ago, and my mom yelled at me until I was screaming cause the world was just too loud and bright and horrible. thank you sm for reading and again, if you have any ideas for me to make my life a little better, I’d appreciate it so so so much. stay safe y’all <3
#papaya rambles#su!c!de#self h@rm#sorry if this comes off as desperate#or makes no sense#im prolly making a way bigger deal out of this than i should be haha
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misdiagnoses fucking SUCK and are TRAUMATIC and i have nowhere else to TALK ABOUT IT as i process this Major Shift i’m experiencing so i’m going to put it here <3
in 2020 i was diagnosed w cirs (chronic inflammatory response syndrome) by a total shithead of a doctor who didn’t believe in covid. OBVIOUSLY i stopped going to him and i started seeing this other cirs specialist (telehealth only). she verified the cirs diagnosis and then we did the whole getting out of exposure thing. that took me a really long time to complete (DUH) bc being told you have to completely uproot your life, get rid of your belongings or at least stay away from them, and either move/do extensive renovation/live in a tent etc to escape exposure is IMPOSSIBLE to complete quickly. i have an old google doc laying out abandoned plans for living in a shed in my backyard. it took a year of a lot of my own research and advocacy til my parents renovated a part of our house for me to live closed off in. i still live there.
living in spaces where you know the air is potentially making you sick but you can’t do anything about it is traumatic and i don’t know when i’ll be able to actually fully process it bc i still don’t feel safe .
anyway. cut to like summer 2022 im still sick, i’ve gotten a Smidge better on these intensive medications and supplements for cirs and living out of this Room, but i still feel like shit and can’t drive or work and get debilitating migraines Very Often. my cirs doctor’s response is i gotta move out of my house or move to arizona or keep eliminating toxins (what toxins. she was telling me the naturally occurring things that our bodies shed were making me sick. ur insane. i’ve been in pure survival animal mode for years now) SO! in november i was like maybe i don’t even fucking have this . shoutout to my friend pointing me towards thebibliosphere on here and my physical therapist who’s an advocate for eds and was able to fr change my life lmao
fast forwarding thru finding new doctors and getting appointments now im diagnosed with eds pots & mcas (getting a bunch of blood work done but yeah mcas) and i’m like ok what do i do now? can i go open the boxes of my books and artwork and other belongings that i packed up in 2020? can i go in the rest of my house? do i have to avoid the majority of buildings bc of potential water damage? can i stop thoroughly cleaning my room of any semblance of dust every 1-2 weeks? do i have to monitor my room’s humidity levels to such a specific range?
i’m doing this like massive reframing of everything i know about myself and the world and my health all at the same time and when i’m not sitting here fully disassociated i’m going fucking CRAZY !!!!!! good GOD !!!!!!! IM SO MAD !!!!!!!!!!!
AND ! to make it all WORSE ! i get booted off my parents insurance in t minus 1 year and 3 months so i have to figure out medicaid and probably apply for disability benefits AGAIN which sucks cuz that’s such a fucking dehumanizing process
at least i have the brain space to make all these fucking ocs (i reach into my pocket and deposit a dozen pinterest boards and scribbled notes into ur hand)
#not to mention all the trauma before even getting chronically ill that i’m also processing#therapy is very busy and from an outside perspective it seems like i’m just wasting away in my room BUT#in reality i am working incredibly hard constantly and don’t even get good sleep or have a concept of time#just this nightmare limbo state of desperate loneliness and frantic self love and indignance and dedication#at my core i believe in myself and it’s keeping me alive#i hope dear reader u have shorten long posts on cuz i can’t find how to insert a read more on mobile#long post#cirs#heds#mcas#pots#chronic illness#sickie notes
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BIIIIIIG REQUEST IF YOU COULD WRITE BOTH OF THEM I WOULD DIE HAPPY (involve sui attempts)
Vox and a reader who's attempting but instead of pills its like something else??
same thing but w stan marsh :3 tysmm
Yes bbg *kisses u bc you reqested smt aka i can write and nit be as weird*/j/pos
But yes!!!!!!!!
Human au for vix bc a attempt in hell doesn't fully make since(would it just be self harm them? -)
Do,
Human! Vix x gn!reader,
Stan marsh x gn! Reader
They/them/thier prns:3
And again,
I AM COMPLETLY COMFORTABLE WITH REQEST AROUND 3DS AND S3LF H4RM AND SU!C!D3!!!! ITS VERY INTRESTING TO ME SO YIPPPER
Ims going write my crazys now, but not headcanon for once bc i wanna w r i t e .
Okay, here the good good
Under a cut for trigger warnigs and if u dont wanna read u can just scroll
V_O_X_(_H_U_M_A_N_)
P_O_V_:_Reader/second person
.
..
...
I sat in the bathroom. Back to the tub, blade in hand. My arms burned cuts littering them. Im so fucking done. Done with life. This world. This world that holds nothing for me. Nothing. At all. All that fates throw at me is shit. Pire and utter shit.
The cuts burned but not bad. After a while of doing it its almost a euphoria. But i started at them. Bloodied and red and rised. I pressed the blade to mt wrist again. I held it and closed my eyes. I contemplated. Lost in thought.
And thats when the door opened.
He steped in, slightly panting over his worry. "What the fuck are you doing, that you cant, just open the fuck-" he looked up, seeing yiur , covered in blood and cuts, blade to your arm, pressed down, and he could tell from the intendt, that cut could kill. He froze for a second. Then reached out and grabed the blade, slightly skiming the skin and makeing a small scratch. He looked at the small blade, a broken sharpener. Small and easy to hide. Blood stained brown. He shoved it in his back pants poket, and pulled you up from the floor. He hurried you towards your bedroom, sitting you down, and grabbing somr paper towles, prseeing them on your arms. Stoping the bleeding and bandage them. He stayed quite. He cryed a bit, but sucked it up. He changed you into a jacket of his and some sweatpants, and told you to kaydown and try to sleep. Leaveing you, and going into the bathroom cleaning any blood that spilt to the floor.
.
..
...
_S_T_A_N_._M_A_R_S_H_
_P_O_V_:_S_T_A_N_._M_A_R_S_H_(inbetween 3rd and him im so bad at first oersin)
i walked into the house. Thier parents off on some trip, as always. They wernet in the liveing room. Nor thier bedroom. Thier parents bedroom was locked. It wasnt nirmale locked?. So i knocked. "Hey, (name), you in thier? Whys the door locked?"
... Slilence.
"(Name), i know your in thier. Open the door. Please." He tryed it again, and to no avil. Hr got up and grabed a butterknife, and unlocked the door. Opening it, and looked, he saw it.
Thier dads gun cabinet open, and his pistole missing. He paniced. Thier bsthroom door was also locked. As. He got closer, he heard the clicks if the gun being loaded. Just unlocked the door with the butterknife, finding them in the shower, gun to thier head. On reaction, he hit the gun down and out thier hands, kicking it toward the wall, and koveing between them and thr gun.
"WHAT THE FUCK (NAME)?! WWHAT THE ACCUALY FUCK. WHY?. Why did-.." tears welled thier eyes, and he stoped yelling. The grabed them by thier waist, and carryed then bridal style to thier bedroom. In a worryed state, he checked thier arms and thighs. Finding cuts that he didn't bring up. He went though thier room, finding a few blades with also a kitchen knife. He hated doing it but he had too. Takeing the blades, he threw them in his back pack. He layed down next to you, takeing off his shoes, and comforted you. Scared. But reliaved that he got here when he did.
--------------------------------------------------
YIPPE THANK YOU FIR READING!! I ENJOYED WRITEING IT:3
Bounse
(stan forgot to take the knife out his backpack and it fell out in the middle of class and he was put though some long at trile iver why he had abloodied knife in this backpack. He tryed not to but eneded up amiti g it was yoes you confimerd, and they ordered in the summer you sprnt it in a ward so polic did pop up ripe on may 24th at 7am.)
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Found Family.
Cw: alusions/scenes of PTSD,flashbacks bcs of ptsd. Mentions of grief and body horror. Mentions of a big age gap between oc n Thatcher. (But not in a weird way)
Summary: Adam and Thatcher explore their father-son relationshipp with the help of Thatcher's girlfriend.
->Jerico is my oc/self insert. Pronouns are she/they. Also, my hc is that Adam is 18. (Also about the age gap. Oc is technically not human so do w that what you Will)
->some of the scenes are based off of @moonlightsmasquerade Thatcher and Adam art. (Also hi Em! If youre Reading this im @/screchinginthevoid)
->Word count: 4.2k.
There were Many things that Adam did on accident, like all humans. Well...except he wasnt human, he was an alternate.
That realization still hadnt fully set in yet, hes lived his whole life as a human, the mere idea he wasnt was ludicrous...but it was true.
He was not alone in this thankfully, he's been "adopted" by Lieutenant Davis, and hes been staying with him ever since. The house was quite modest, Adam had taken up the responsability of at least keeping the house clean when he had the energy to, Thatcher some days was just a wallflower. (And he didnt blame him, that Man had been through some shit).
Sometimes their saving Grace was Jerico, Thatcher's partner, who brings them food and whatever is left of the pastries of the bakery she worked at. She was Real nice, Adam had decided, so he kept a bit of distance as to not freak her our (but there was something off with her he couldnt quite place).
Today was one of those days, food had run out yesterday, and neither had the energy to get out and get something. It was just one of those days.
But Thatcher had the foresight to call his partner up and ask if they coul bring food. And that she did.
The door opens with a slight creak, Adam doesnt look up from the book hes Reading, but he does smile a little. She was good company.
--Hey kid-- she said, kissing the top of his head covered with the hood of his hoodie,leaving the Many heavy bags on the table.
--arent you like one year older than me?--He teased with a smirk.
--Well yeah? Its a term of endearment. But if it bothers you I can stop-- she replied, grabbing the food thats supposed to be refrigerated-- wheres your dad?
Adams face goes a little pink-- Hes not my dad!-- he whined,closing the book-- hes- hes in his room I guess
--Davis!-- she calls out towards one of the rooms across the nearby Hall. She turns to Adam and says-- hey, do you mind putting these in the fridge?
--No I dont. Go get that raccoon of a man out of bed-- he said with a playfull smile. She laughs and goes towards Thatcher's room.
When shes our of sight he stands up and does as he was asked. He opens the fridge and slowly fills it up with the food. He had to admit that seeing the fridge full once more was very soothing, he felt as if he was helping around the house like a child would help his parents.
Five minutes later he sees Thatcher come out of his room with Jerico hugging Him from behind.
--What took you so long?--Adam joked, putting away some of the other groceries.
--Well,Mr.Racooon over here was a little too wrapped up In his blankets. Basically a burrito-- she teased pressing a kiss to his shoulderblade.
--drop it--thatcher murmured, amused at the joke even if he was deathly tired.
--Mmhmm. Hes in denial,I tell you-- she turns to face Adam and sees what hes doing, it moves her a little and she adds-- yknow you dont gotta put away the rest, I can do it
A little flustered,the boy shrugs and says-- s'nothing... I uh. I was bored so...-- he half lied, not turning around to face them so neither would see how flustered he was.
--Thats very sweet of you kiddo! Thanks-- jeri answered, to then give a quick hug to Thatcher(who saw this whole exchange as something adorable) and tell him-- go get a book and sit in the sofa,lunch'll be Ready in a bit
He nodds, too exhausted to convince her to let him do something. Thatcher grabs the book Adam was Reading and goes to lay down on the nearby sofá, at least this was better than wallow in his grief in a dark room.
Jerico quickly gets to making lunch, Adam stands near her unsure if he should volunteer himself to help her out
--Hey Adam, mind handing me one of the pans? -- she asked absentmindedly as she cuts up a few potatos.
"Fries?" The boy thought with enthusiasm, something he hasnt felt in a while - Uh sure. Let me just..-- he kneels to reach one of the lower cabinets under the kitchen counter and notices that said pan is all the way to the back.
He huffs and tries to reach it, and here is one of the things he does without noticing. His arm extends unaturally,growing large enough to reach the back of the cabine. He grabs the handle of the pan and he pulls it out, to then stand back up and place it on the counter.
--Thank you- JESUS CHRIST!--she squeals looking at the arm. It was paper white and boney looking, his fingers are clawy and a little crooked.
--Oh im so sorry-- He starts,freaking the fuck out. He lets go of the pan and pulls back his extended arm.-- please dont be mad at me--
Jeri only meets his gaze and smiles a little-- you caught me off guard, thats all-- she Gently takes his clawy hand and squeezes it reassuringly. His palm feels deathly cool, while hers feels unaturally warm.
--How doesnt this freak you out?--He pointed at his arm with his free hand.
--Ive seen some shit-- she shrugs it off as if she encountered alternates every day-- I was not expecting to see you go Reed Richards on me thats all, thats actually a really clever answer to a problem
Adam smiles, sometimes he feels shes the only one that understands him,-- I really dont get how youre not smacking me across the face with the pan. Your answer isnt very clear
She snorts and Gently lets go of his hand--Ill elaborate one day, 'till then feel free to make your own theories. Anyway, can you return that arm to normal or do you need some help?
He shrugs-- Give me like...five minutes?
--'kay --She replied lightheartedly as she filled the pan with sunflower seed oil and set it on the stove-- im spit balling here but maybe remebering how your arm looked like before would help?
Adam squints at her a little, he felt as if she was talking out of experience. Those were the little things he felt off about her, not in a bad way, she just felt like she knew more than she was letting on.-- ...ill try-- he replied, going to sit at the table and try to get back to normal.
When he succesfully does manage to fix up his arm, he keeps helping out on the kitchen. Apparently Thatcher had passed the fuck out during their whole previous exchange,which was good because neither thought the ex cop would take that lightly.
--Dyou mind keeping an eye on them burgers?-- jerico asked,snapping Him from his thoughts-- when that other side is cooked flip it. N' once that one is ready too just make a small cut in the middle to check if its not raw
He nodds--I know cooking burgers is pretty easy but...where did you learn to Cook like that?-- he asked over the sound of sizzling oil.
--Ive had Many,Many,Years to practice-- she replied-- thanks for helping out by the way,I appreciate it. N I also know you Keep your distance some days,which is fine. Just know you can be yourself around me,I know from personal experience that walking on eggshels is tiring
Adam shifts his weight, he doest look away from the cooking burgers. Hes still getting used to so Many things,kindness was one of them-- alright...--He replied dryly, trying to save what little of his pride remained.
--Do you want your bread toasted by the way?--She asked-- I couldnt get normal Burger bread so I got Rye bread. Its better anyway
He smirks-- hmm I dont think Thatcher would agree on that
--Good thing hes asleep then right? He would die on that hill defending Burger bread as the only aceptable type for burgers-- to drive the joke home she adds a playfull "conspiratorally" wink.
Adam,for the first time in a while, allowed himself to laugh. A genuine laugh, not loud enough to wake Thatcher up,but it wasnt a chuckle either-- yes,yes he would.
Once lunch was ready, Jeri wakes up Thatcher (who had Fallen asleep with the book on his face) and the three get to eat lunch. Adam sits on the end of the table, his two companions sat on each side of him.
--This is really good. The fries are very good-- Adam says,gobblin down on the fries.
--Yeah...--Said Thatcher,looking at the rye bread on each side of his burger paty,glaring daggers at the poor thing.
--Your girlfriend over here busted her ass cooking!--The boy started, pointing at him menacingly with a frye-- youre gonna eat that or ill shove it down your throat
Thatcher looks at jerico as if to say "yo help me out?!" But his girlfriend only puts a hand on the boys shoulder and smirks-- dont look a gift horse in the mouth,Davis
Begrudgingly he eats his Burger, not admitting that the rye bread was actually good.
Before Jerico leaves to go to work, she says bye to her boyfriend with a big ole kiss. Adam fake gags just to be a little shit, then she hugs the teen alternate tightly and smirks at how tense he gets.
--i brought lieutenant Burger Bread his favorite pastries. Dont tell him cause hes gonna have a hissy fit about it-- she whispered near his ear-- I also brought a few of your favorites,enjoy
He nodds and smirks at the nickname for Thatcher. As he pulls back a little,he allows his hands to settle on her upper back,shy and stiff as a board-- uh...good luck?-- he muses trying to at least give back some of the kindness she always gives him.
She promptly breaks the hug as to not fluster Him further and grabs her keys,ready to go-- Alright! Im leaving! Bye!
--Bye!--both men echo back once she closes the door.
Then, theres a five second silence broken by Adam saying-- if you dont MARRY her,ill Actually kill you
Now its thatchers turn to become flustered. His face goes bright red and stomps off without another word,leaving the boy very amused with a shit eating smirk.
《♡♡♡♡♡》
Today was one of those days where Adam just fucks up, he had tried to do something very dumb that had to do with scaling up a tree in the back yard wearing sneakers. He almost fell on one misstep And Thatcher had to get him down like a fireman rescuing a cat.
--But seriously,you shouldnt do something like that-- Thatcher scolded,trying to not be pushy but getting his point across.
--But seriously,you shouldnt do something like that-- Adam parroted, a little annoyed. But his voice isnt his own, instrad its thatchers. It comes out with static and distorted.
When he realizes what he did,he covers his mouth and looks at thatcher,who meets his gaze looking like a deer in headlights. The older Man's breath is shallow,his eyes wide but his pupils small.
--I am so sorry! I didnt mean to do that...!-- he exclaimed recoiling into himself.
Thatcher took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves-- Okay,but please dont ever do something like that..
Adam nodds and silently, the other Man goes to his room,probably to have his own proper freak out and then come back. Leaving the boy to feel really guilty.
《♡♡♡♡♡》
Adam was still getting used to his New body, sometimes it had a mind of its own, he would mimic certain things without thinking.
He was talking with Thatcher on the sofá,just sharing a cup of coffee and talking about whatever, school,sports, the freaking weather. And internally,Adam thinks of how happy he is to have someone like Thatcher backing Him up,despite everything being so confusing for the boy,he was glad to have someone to rely on after years of being on his own.
Thats when it happens, Adam's face morphs into Thatcher's,only partially, half of his face reflects his companion. But he doesnt notice it until he sees his reflection on the coffee of his mug.
He looks up and is met with Thatcher,he was deathly quiet, eyes wide and body shaking.
--oh no nono-- im sorry-- I can fix it!. Jerico taught me how- I didnt mean to--IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR!--Adam slowly freaks out, he tries to reach for his friend with one hand while the other covers his face with the hood of his jacket. But the ex cop moves away from him and it breaks the boys heart who slowly descends into a panick attack
Thatcher on his end was gone,the world had gone black, all he sees is half of his own face staring back at him, then he sees Ruth's face, Mark's face. Hes shaking and he doesnt notice it, his breath is erratic,shallow and his head feels as if it was spinning.
Ruth,Mark,himself. Ruth,Mark,himself. A scared boy with a gun-- you left her to rot,there isnt enough space for the two of us,lieutenant. Uh oh! Bad decision Thatcher!
He breaks,hes a sobbing mess as he grips his Cup tight. As if it was a gun. But hes non responsive. Hes just not there.
In his desesperation,Adam manages to take his weak body towards the telephone,he punches in the numbers hoping to god he gets it right. He himself was in no position to help Thatcher, even if he knew how.
If anybody knew how to fix up this mess was--
--Jerico?--Adam says, voice barely a whisper.
"Adam? Whats wrong buddy--" jeri's voice comes out as soothing if not worried.
--I- I accidentally copied Thatcher's voice. I think-- I think hes having some sort of attack? Hes...hes not talking. I fucked up im so sorry im so--
"Lissen" she said,voice stern but warm"Heres what youe going to do. You go somewhere where Thatcher cant see you, first you need to calm down, breath in deeply four times, look for 5 things you can see,4 you can touch,3 you can hear,2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. Repeat as Many times as you need. Once youre calm youll try to remember how you look like,just like you did your arm. Ill help Thatcher. Be there in twenty. And walk slowly,dont do any sudden movements as to not scare him,okay?"
--its all my fault,im so sorry! -- He said.
"Its not. Youre still discovering this New self of yours. Its not your fault, hes not going to be angry,okay? Take it easy Adam,youre a great kid"
--Even when im like this? Im a GODDAMN demon--
He hears jerico sigh on the other end of the phone. He goes quiet and she says"i know how hard It is to Keep your human form. Trust me I would know, im gonna let you in on a secret but you cant tell Thatcher. Ill tell him when he-- when im ready"
Adam's eyes go wide, his breath gets caught in his throat and he whispers a-- wait-- rwally-- but--
"If I ever felt off to you,thats why. Now please, go do what I told you" she replied softly, he nodds and adds.
--Thank you- for trusting me
He can hear the smile on her voice"thank you for trusting me. Ill be there in 20,kid."
--'Kay mom-- he whispers without realizing and he hangs up. Adam walks away slowly, not making eye contact,no sudden movements. He just goes into his room and does what he was asked to do.
20 minutes later,Jerico gets into the house,finding Thatcher still on the couch,shaking And unresponsive.
--Thatch-- love-- she calls out, taking the coffee and setting it on the coffe table. She then takes her hands-- its me-Jeri
The Man focuses his eyes on her,but hes not fully there yet. She softly adds-- Babe,youre having a flashback right now, its not Real, whatever youre seeing its not Real
--Ruth- mark! I left them both to die-- I couldnt-!
--Thatch, its been 17 Years,its not your fault-- she steps a little closer, sitting on his lap with her hands still holding his-- today is sunday, three days ago I re-stocked your pantry. You were dissapointed it wasnt normal Burger bread instead of rye bread. Do you remember that?
He nodds a little, she looks at his face for any signs that hes coming back to the Real world-- do you remember the first time we met? It was at the bakery that I work at,you looked like a deer in headlights when we made eye contact. You tried some cheesy pickup line a few days later "sugar isnt good for people but ill risk it a for you" you were so flustered
At this,he smiles a little and lets out a laugh,his body relaxes and he blinks a few times before saying-- Angel?
She smiles as her face softens, her worried files gaze now replaced with warmth-- hey-- she said,sounding impossibly soft-- welcome back
--What-- what happened? -- he asked, looking around-- wheres-- wheres Adam? Why do I feel so out of breath?
--adam accidentally copied your face, I think it sent you down a fight or flight rabbit hole and triggered a flashback-- she replied, letting go of one of his hands to push his hair out of his face-- Adams in his room I think,I told him to do some grounding excersices to calm down and return to normal
--I need to check on him-- he said about to stand up before she stops him.
--What you need,is to relax,ill check on him once I make sure youre fully here with me-- she replied,pushing Him back down on the sofa.
--Babe-- dont--
--Thatcher,im deadly fucking serious with this. Ill take care of it,you stay put-- she replied,his usual soft and sunshine filled girlfriend looks at him sternly and it catches him off guard-- now, what color is my shirt?
He rolls his eyes, feeling a little silly for doing these sorts of things-- yellow
--Good. Do you see something blue around?-- She asked, Helping him identify things that were around him with the goal that he stays in the moment. It takes them a solid fifteen minutes since Thatcher kept insisting he was fine
--Alright last thing. Tell me something from before we got together. Nothing painfull mind you. Try and think of something funny
It takes him a solid minute, his arms slung lazily around her waist. But he finally thinks of something and gets a shit eating grin on his face-- I remember I uses this one pick up line with you. And you got flustered.
--Oh no-- she starts,looking away as her face goes red.
--It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us!-- he quoted, feeling very smug and proud of himself.
--You cant just hit me with that because the bakery I work at its called Seraphim! Thats so cheap!-- she whined-- okay big guy if you can be smug it means youre fine.
Jerico stands up and Gently smacks Him on the bicep-- ill go check on Adam your ass stays here
He sighs and nodds-- whatever you say,angel!
--Drop the GODDAMN nickname!-- she replied flusteredly.
Soon she reaches Adams room. She knocks on the door a few times before she lets herself in. Jerico finds Adam on a corner,slumped and really frustrated.
Through the gloom she sees Thatcher's face meeting Adams usual face. His eyes shine in the darkness and she says--Hey, any luck with that?
--No! It doesnt want to-- I did what you asked me and it still didnt work!. I cant figure out whats wrong and its just-- he drops his hands that were clutching his hair down on his lap,frustrated And defeated.
Jeri sits beside him, and she reaches for his face. He recoils back out of instinct-- sorry its just- dont angels hate demons?
--Youre no demon. Youre just a kid-- she replied, pressing her hand against the side of his face that had thatchers features-- And my ass has been out of heaven since the days of the bible.
--Did you fall?
--More like ran away when fake Gabriel reared his ugly face in
She sighs and Gently turns his face to the side so she can fully see the extent of the transformation-- what I do is try and remember what I look like in this form. But since thats not working...do you have any pics of yourself?
He nodds towards the framed photo on his nightstand-- that one
Shes quick to Grab it and turn on one of the lamps in the room. With more visibility she hands him the picture--try and imitate it
Jerico walks him through returning to normal, then she makes sure hes calm before helping him up-- Are you ready to go out?
He nodds, a little shy-- what about Thatcher?
--Lemme ask him-- the woman opens the door and says-- hey thatch! I helped Adam out. How are you feeling?
Adam heard Thatcher say-- 'm okay. Tell the kid to come out
She offers her hand and the boy takes it as she guide her back to the livingroom/kitchen where the other Man was.
Thatcher looks at the boy and says-- im sorry--
--Its my fault-- I didnt mean to -- the ex cop hugs him and he hugs back. Crying into his shoulder.
--Its not your fault kid,youre still learning. I dont blame you
--Still-- he sobbed,wiping away a few tears-- I feel really...really bad for making you go through that..
--As Thatcher said-- jeri added,patting his back--wasnt your fault, bodies are fucking weird sometimes, us humans are weird too
Both share a knowing glance, as if they had their own little inside joke. Which leaves the other Man a little confused,but he rather not ask for the sake of their privacy.
--Im going to make some tea for the three of us,you two talk things out-- the woman declared, leaving both men some space to try and resolve this somehow.
《♡♡♡♡♡》
Thatcher was the first one to wake up Next day, he had gotten some needed shut eye, and as he makes breakfast, he hears two sets of steps approach him. Both are slow and clumsy, seems the other two residents of his house are awake.
--Hey -- jeri says, nuzzling his bicep while her hand rests on his Lower back.
--Morning,Angel. Heres your tea,theres uh..pancakes on the table-- he replied.
--Youre a godsend-- she murmured, grabbing the cup of tea she handed him and sitting on the table.
Then Adam peeked from behind the Man, a little tired-- morning-- he said.
--Hey kid. Morning. I made coffee-- he replied handing the boy a mug with fresh coffee.
--Thanks dad-- he replied, not paying much attention to what he said. Then he goes to sit at the end of the table Next to Jeri.
"Dad??? Dad???He called me dad!" Oh my god!" He thought before quickly replying a-- Youre welcome,Son.
Jerico hears the whole exchange with a grin. Then she looks at Adam who is happily drinking his coffee.
--Hey,check out what the old Mans wearing-- she whispers at her friend.
Adam looks and sees hes wearing..--Is that the apron you use for work?
She giggled-- Yup.
Thatcher seems to hear their little talk because he points at both of them with his spatula and says -- for the record, its an apron. Im using it for whats supposed to be used. I dont wanna hear it-- he looks almost threatening if it wasnt for the fact the was using the spatula to threaten them both.
--Sir yes sir-- both reply at the same time, giggling and joking under their breath.
Soon, Thatcher joins the table, sitting on the other side of Adam. And as the three eat their breakfast, the older Man notices something.
--Uh.. you- your face is uh...-- he starts,not sure of what to say
--huh?--Adam asks, as his lids and side of his face seem to droop down.
Jeri looks up from her cup and simply says-- your face is melting dude. Youre out here looking like "the scream" by Munch.
--Oh cool. -- Adam said,sounding more annoyed than freak out-- excuse me a minute -- he stands up and goes to his room to fix up himself.
--I do not know what you told that kid but he seems to be doing better by the day-- thatch whispered over to her,leaning in.
--Kindness goes a long way. Guess he thinks of me as an equal-- she shrugged it off,taking a sip from her drink--he called me mom yesterday
--he what?-- he asked a little surprised-- thats too cute
--We're adopting Him. I dont care if hes already a legal adult. You n i are adopting him
He reaches to take her hand and winks at her-- ten-four.-- both share a smile and soon Adam is back.
Jerico leaves for work after breakfast, she says her goodbyes and plays dumb as Adam says --Bye mom! -- and happily goes on her merry way to her car.
Then,Thatcher pulls Adam for an awkward side hug and he leads him to the yard--Im gonna teach you how to defend yourself
--Why?
--Do you see any other way to kill time?
Adam snorts-- fine. -- he replied following him out-- thanks..dad
Thatcher smiles--Dont mention it kiddo.
#my s/i/oc has my age. dont freak out yall#tmc#the mandela catalogue#tmc thatcher#tmc adam#adam murry#thatcher davis#adam murray#tmc fic#tmc fanfic#dadtcher#cw age gap#tw age cap#tw ptsd#cw ptsd#cw ptsd mentions#tw ptsd mentions#tw flashback mentions#cw flashback mentions#ask to tag
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u dragged me into colinjamie hell, so I share this with u
team shenanigans ft. colinjamie - maybe they sneaking around (and are awful at it) or the team knows. no angst, just them
• cuddling during movie nights and being so disgustingly cute, the team makes them sit apart from each other
• playing games (had lasertag in my mind) and are on opposed teams but do the good whole 'seducing your enemy to get to win'
• dedicating goals to each other - somebody accidentally said it during an interview but it just got them bromance points
• touching each other every second. the team is happy for them but a bit annoyed. it could be because they are insatiable/in love BUT it could also be reassurance/ being each other safe places
• babysitting Phoebe/Nora/the Higgins' boys/Henry (or all?) and calling each other because they are both hot messes (or scared to be bad at it because they had shitty parents and shitty childhoods)
omg!!!
first, i cant believe anything ive said has made an impact, but i am so so so glad it did??? (also curious about what exactly it was) colinjamie needs more love, im so glad we have you here
second, all these are genius and i am in love with every single one of them okay i have SO many thoughts, i nearly lost this ask twice trying to type them all out
NO ANGST JUST THEM. YES. GIVE THE BOYS SOME FLUFF PIECES THEY DESERVE IT
babysitting Phoebe/Nora/the Higgins' boys/Henry (or all?) and calling each other because they are both hot messes (or scared to be bad at it because they had shitty parents and shitty childhoods)
okay so tHIS ONE. I JUST. so i have a little sister, who, a few years ago, had an obsession with two things. disney channel original movies, and sofiia carson. this meant i have been exposed to all three descendants movies yes, but what it ALSO means is that i have been exposed to the "adventures in babysitting" reboot they had.
which means now i am thinking about colin babysitting the Higgins' boys and Nora, while Jamie is babysitting Henry and Phoebe. on the same night. and of course shenanigans happen, one of the kids has snuck out, one of the higgins' boys has a really important science project, another is experiencing his first heart break, jamie thinks he's taught henry some cuss words, they are both MESSES.
does it end up in frantic calls and impromptu trip out to find the one kid who snuck out? does that result in hiding from keeley/roy and the higgins' parents on their date night? do they run into trent crimm and his daughter at some point? yes. all that and MORE.
and in true "adventures in babysitting" style, when they get back to the higgins' house the place is a mess bc the washing machine was running, the dog tracked mud in the house and destroyed the science project, and colinjamie + the kids have to do a rush cleanup job. and then jamie has to sneak his kids back to his place bc ted and roykeeley are gonna be back SOON.
dedicating goals to each other - somebody accidentally said it during an interview but it just got them bromance points
oh anon i LOVE this. buzzfeed has an article on best sports friendships and colinjamie are top five because of this.
also. i want to say that this bleeds over into other moments too. colin has to toss smth in the trash but he's dead tired and doesnt want to get up off the bench, and jamie takes it from him, says "this is for you" and throws it from halfway across the room.
he misses.
richard says jamie should stick to football.
jamie is disgruntled bc that was a sucky throw and NOT worthy of colin.. walks over picks it up, walks BACK, and says "THIS one is for you."
misses again.
"no THIS one is for you"
miss.
colin at least stays in the locker room until jamie finally makes it.
playing games (had lasertag in my mind) and are on opposed teams but do the good whole 'seducing your enemy to get to win'
oh they ABSOLUTELY do this for laser tag, they ABSOLUTELY do the "seduce ur enemy to win" thing. the other boys are TIRED of it.
the real last straw for them is when they FINALLY have the "away game pillow fight" ted suggests and they start the "seduce your enemy to win" tactic during the pillow fight too.
cuddling during movie nights and being so disgustingly cute, the team makes them sit apart from each other
this is WHY the team went for the pillow fights
touching each other every second. the team is happy for them but a bit annoyed. it could be because they are insatiable/in love BUT it could also be reassurance/ being each other safe places
YES YES YES YES YES YES
both. both is good. just, ALWAYS touching. which, they already do a lot, so like when they get together, YEESH the rest of the team is TIRED
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✨🎥! Long time no see! How are you? I can’t believe it’s been almost 6 months since I last wrote. How have you been in those months? Mine were kinda crazy. Until June I had a hectic schedule: I worked on different film funds (regional, national and international) for pretty much every project that we have. We included a new one from a Singaporean auteur that has the fattest brain ever and criticises the government in a coming of age that mixes gangs and lesbians (absolutely lovely), as well as a new Spanish sci-fi with a twist (still on the early stages so hopefully it’ll grow to its full potential). I also got a skin allergy reaction to who the fuck knows what and I had to be on meds and steroids for a month 💀. On the bright side I went to the Perfume concert in London with a friend and had a lovely week of vacation in Vienna, where I found Key and Sunmi’s cds (Bad Love and Can’t sit with us) so obvs I had to buy them.
I would’ve liked to enjoy the SHINee comeback more, but I was kinda braindead so I still have lots of videos to watch.
Now I’m on holidays again, for this week and the next, and I’m trying to find an affordable apartment that is not shit so I can move out of my dad’s house. But landlords are absolutely insane and most of the places are garbage, so we’ll see how that goes
OMG HIIIIII I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU!!!!!!
so glad to hear from you, i also can't believe it's been almost six months 💀. im ok! im actually back home in canada staying with my parents rn on a health sabbatical, but im doing much better now being on some new meds and with my new therapist! also it's nice to be home, i really missed the pets. been taking it very slow, currently working part time at a family friend's flower shop and not really making a ton of art, but i did get into leatherworking lmao.
omg you have to keep me updated on when those films get release dates bc they sound dope as hell!! i actually scoped around the kpop section of a chain record store here and they had THE worst selection possible, except somehow: one single ghost9 album. literally the only flop group album they had, i was so surprised. im gonna scope around some more to see if i can find any key albums anywhere, since it's significantly easier to find kpop stuff here.
totally understand the housing strife, im very glad to be staying with my parents rn bc the rent prices in the pnw are so fucking bad, it's so depressing
#the way i got jumpscared by the bts ad on the door of the korean grocery store......#have to remember that at least there IS a korean grocery store#i really was just thinking of you!! i have a favour to ask!!#actually this goes out to any of my spanish speaking followers but if you/somebody is willing to dm me i have something i need translated#its a note that was given to my grandma in the 50s by a guy she met in bruges#and we just found it going thru her stuff and i dont think its actually seen the light of day since the 50s lmao#and nobody in my family speaks spanish lmao#it might be in argentinian spanish also? we really have no idea google gave us a passable translation but we'd like to have a better one#anyways. very extremely glad to hear from you im glad youre doing good!#✨🎥 anon#text#answers
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long vent sorry ik it's bed oclock but
my sister is moving out tomorrow to college while im at work.
and it's nice to know that she's going
i wont be so vain as to say that i raised her but it sure is . a feeling that she's finally out
i say this fully aware that this is the last night we'll spend in this house as we are, i would almost say as children but im 26. but it's the feeling of her taking a step away from being a child
im likely only thinking this way bc im watching little women bc i needed something comforting but perhaps this was not the best idea. but of course im only writing and sitting in a vc and not spending the time with my siblings
ive never really been a good sister to her i suppose. my brother has been a better sibling than i have in the past several years.
but still i have this strange notion that my siblings have managed to keep growing up and i've ended up stuck in some bullshit faux childhood because i can't face reality and can't manage on my own.
both of my siblings have moved out and i've never tried and i feel like such a child, such a failure, because i can't stomach dealing with stress.
of course no one would want to be with someone like me. the type of person im hoping for wouldnt give me the light of day
because they'd see my siblings and wonder how they had such a failure for an eldest sister
i wont be vain and say that i did anything for them other than torment them. it was the only way i knew how to act with them because now that theyre both adults, i dont know how to process it because i still feel like a ten year old
all i do is complain and lose my temper and be uselss and sit in my room of course no one wants to hear these things because people have actual problems
i always said id stay at home for my sister to protect her from our parents but i knew that was a lie for myself and others because frankly i was too afraid to do anything else
it's bittersweet knowing that i will not see my sister regularly probably from now on
im glad shes out
now if only i could just stop existing in everyones' minds so i can finish being here
and ofc i turn my sisters happy milestone into a vent about myself bc im so selfish and self centered granted i never said it out loud but i feel every word of it
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People are really weird abt asthma, brinchitis and pretty much complications related to breathing as if we are actively choosing to not be able to breath.
My parents unironically come at me when I have an asthmatic attack while I'm working out at the gym and say "you gotta exercise to get rid of that : ^ )" Is not like IM ALREADY DOING THAT???
You keep repeating that something in the house specifically triggers your allergies and they dont take seriously and either dont remove it at all or take months to do it and later asks "oh why dont you stay in the living room with us?" Oh jee idk maybe its bc all those furry sofa blankets turn my skin red and make sneeze for 2 hours everytime I sit on them?
People just dont believe you when you say its harder for you to do something or that you cant be around some stuff. They think that eating veggies and running a marathon everyday is gonna magically erase every fucking health problem you have and if you are still not fixed you are just too lazy no matter how much you actually take care of your health.
#health problems#asthma#allergies#I have scoliosis asthma bronchitis and fucking loose joints and people expect me to run a marathon every day like an athletr fuck off
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for Aspen!! 7, 18, 24
for Susan!! 13, 25, 33, 41
(apples-stables)
:3
(read below bc LONG !!!)
aspen's ;;
7 ; '' What’s their fondest memory with one of their horses? ,,
alright i'm doing two - one with moss(bottle) and then one with a non soul horse.
moss ; day after finishing going through all of catherine's memories. aspen was def still a little like "oh" from it all, all the same stuff that's happening to her (minus the like exclusion thing but ehh)
they both took a little trail-ride to that same peak where the red string trail ends, that little over-hang looking over valedale + the mountains. i imagine they were just... hanging out, winding down because this was the time of the Great Quest Gap (i consider this time to be a small like few weeks break after all that saving stuff) moss was probably recounting some stories of catherine. but only when she was happy. nothing sad. and that made aspen feel the tiniest bit better.
sunpop ; quick context - aspen owns all the horses i do in game, but they all live as a herd in the fields behind their house. some of them aspen rides more than others that are there to chill and be apart of the herd. sunpop is a halflinger and one of said horses.
sometimes, moss prefers to stay home. and that is okay, because aspen trusts that no one is going to try and steal the aggressive biting icelandic who Will Kick. luckily, sunpop (fanta, technically, but i like sunpop) was more than eager to go and run chores.
aspen was just going along their day - fishing, doing fetch quests, deliveries, visiting their favorite people, etc. sunpop is the equivalent of a very large dog, and was very easily sitting around like a giant dog, waiting for the next place.
after all of this, aspen was like "well, i'll get some ice cream" because usually, moss will always end up stealing it. so, aspen gets their ice cream, and is riding along on sunpop.
sunpop is very excitable. sunpop speeds up a little too much, and almost runs into a fence. aspen is holding a very fragile ice cream cone. sunpop slides to a stop. aspen jerks forward. the ice cream cone does not go flying, but simply topples forward. onto sunpop's muzzle.
aspen couldn't even be mad, because the imagine of this silly halfinger trying to lick ice cream off of itself was funny enough for them to have to stop and laugh for a bit.
18 ; '' City-folk or Country-bumpkin? ,,
alright last time i said both but i've changed my mind. aspen def a city kid.
aspen definitely appreciates the city more. it makes them feel more comforted and calm, despite most being nothing but pockets of noise. it is the ultimate do-anything or hang out area - plus, they don't live far from it, within a short ride or walk there.
they definitely live for the aesthetics of it more, the lights make them more grounded and happy. aspen would probably live in the city if they didn't want to stay close to their horses at all time.
also aspen has been stuck in the wilderness of alaska most of their time being alive LOL they're sick of absolutely nothing. have u seen a town in alaska. shit is empty. you have to drive hoursssss for literally anything (source: my grandma + dad)
tl;dr city kid.
24 ; '' If they were granted one wish right now, what would they wish for? ,,
this is SICKK oh my god.
i feel interally aspen would be like "well, i wish for my parents back." but then change their mind - because their mom had always spoken so kindly of death, and would probably want them to be selfish, and focus on the present.
with that being said! i feel it would be a simple thing of 'i want everyone to turn out okay.' as in, i don't want anything else bad happening to them, im sure they've all gone through enough. because, wow, these funky horse girls have trauma!
susan's ;;
13 ; '' How did they meet the Soulriders? Are they on good terms with them? ,,
bit of context for this - i think there is a line meteor says when elizabeth tells u about starbreeds and he says something about not remembering past lives as well or whatever and i was like. Yeah No. anyway in my canon the soul horses remember each other. the minute they see each other they're like "well damn."
susan met alex first how you would in the game through the manor - except im taking the fact that she had tin-can like w her instead of that random horse bc dumb. anyway it was really firefly's fault because she saw tin-can and was like 👁️👁️ bee-lined over towards him. susan had to be all like "oh haha sorry idk my horse just bolted. im susan whats ur name :3"
susan vibes w them all, they're def not their closest friends but they're chill. out of all of them i think she's closer to alex just bc dumbass impulse solidarity.
25 ; '' If you had to describe them in 3 words, what would you say? ,,
SILLY LITTLE CREATURE
susan is truly just like, a little guy. pure polar opposite of aspen. they are so bouncy and excited and they have So Much To Say. also they're short. 5'3 lookin ass.
33 ; '' What’s their favorite movie or book? ,,
susan.. was a wolves of the beyond kid... and still is. probably was a guardians of ga'hoole kid too, which ig would be their favorite movie.
def roleplayed on the playground as wolves and warrior cats.
41 ; '' How would you describe their style/aesthetic? ,,
comfy and practical. but also we gotta be cute. just because susan is always like in the freezing temperatres (usually) i imagine they were like "alright warm clothes but we need to have style."
susan is def a scene kid though when they're not wearing their usual outfit. not like all-in scene but the like edges of scene. scene lite.
#sso#aspen southfield#susan southhome#oc ask#i love saying probably as if i dont make the decisions for my own characters#also susan's r just so short bc theres nothing else to say#but aspens allowed for a lot#susan did get a long answer though so its fair
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