#im starting to run out of resources finally

[endlesslytired]

[i23kazu]

♡ GENSHIN MEN & STUDYING WITH YOU

characters. xiao diluc kaeya childe wriothesley lyney alhaitham x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. i need motivation. they are my motivation | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

he's the one who's a all the noise-cancellation, blacklisted apps kind of student. everything is on lockdown and on do not disturb mode – please don't disturb him. poke him with your pen and you'll just see him roll his eyes at you– no, seriously- it's not worth it! however, xiao is also a really good student ; always on task, even on the subjects that he absolutely despises. ask him to tutor you and he might grumble and groan, but what happens when the tutor falls in love with his student?

diluc

possibly the class rep. studying with him is a express ticket to resources that teachers had given him because of his high-class status. he's not proud of it – he believes that each student deserves the chance to have the same access as him – which is why he's willing to share it with you as well. we didn't even have to meet up, you could just have sent it over- you whine, but the tinge of crimson on his cheeks is a telltale sign that perhaps he needed- no, wanted, this excuse.

kaeya

the teasy study buddy. watch him annoy the hell out of you– you know he's teasing, but sometimes it hurts. "haha, i thought i taught you this already? does the little bunny not have enough space in there?" he taps your head with his pen. it's only when your face crumples and you start to mumble out apologies, teardrops cockling your paper – that he panics. "shit- i'm sorry– how can i make it better?" he wipes your tears away. he makes it up with a sweet kiss and a stack of gift cards to your favourite cafes.

childe

he's the friend who keeps you going, truly. if sunshine was bottled up and wrapped with a bow and had an orange cap, it would be childe! watching your face fall after staring at algebra simply won't do, no, no. let him lead you as he tugs on your hands outside of the study room, and just let your feet follow in his footsteps – you'll find yourself outside the library cafe. "alright, it's on me! what do you want?" maybe his wallet is a little lighter, but so is his heart, once he sees your face light up.

wriothesley

wriothesley is the one who has it all planned out. first, you'll start studying at 10pm... which is a little late, but it's alright. you'll get tired around midnight, which will be when he offers you the first cup of chamomile. "won't this put me to sleep?" you whine, accepting it from him anyways. he chuckles and runs his hands through your hair, replying that it's never worked on him. true enough, you start getting sleepy around half past one – finally leaning against his shoulder, your arms going slack. kissing your head, he drapes a blanket around you. good night, (y/n).

lyney

the one who sits besides you, cracking jokes every now and then! but when it's time to study, he can buckle down and start doing work –that's just lyney – the human on and off switch. there's something about him doing work while twirling his poker cards in his hands that's just so mesmerising – a stare too long catches his eye, and he starts doing a trick for you. get back to work!, you laugh and playfully swat his shoulder, turning back to your own paper. he chuckles in return, and unbeknownst to you, turns back with a smile.

alhaitham

alhaitham can be stricter as a study buddy – he's stern with distractions, wanting you to keep your phone to the side as he's explaining concepts – yes, concepts you learnt, but never understood. "hey, eyes here. did you understand, or do i need to go through it again?" he sounds bored, and you feel sorry for him. you mumble a soft i understand back, and he sighs and tells you to take a break. "look up." your eyes trail up from your phone, and instinctively close as he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead.

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @diorlumx @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @st0pthatsgay @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp @starglitterz @rin-nyrasti-writes @mxyarylla (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)

reblogs w/ tags & comments help me lots !!! if you liked this, consider dropping me a follow as well :-)

[immortalbumblebee]

Kiss It Better?

Young!Vander x Medic!Reader

First Vander one-shot in *checks notes* three years! Holy Shit y’all! Had two separate asks from ppl wanting a medic!reader soooo here we go!

It’s good to be back

Masterlist

The clinic was dimly lit, the hum of faulty fluorescent bulbs blending with the faint metallic clangs from the mines outside. It smelled of antiseptic and iron, a scent you’d come to associate with long nights and questionable patients. Back then, you were still green, running on coffee and ambition under the sharp gaze of an older, jaded medic. And yet, even with your mentor’s grim mutterings about wasting resources on “repeat offenders,” he always came back.

The pit fighter swaggered in like clockwork—dust and sweat clinging to his skin, his knuckles split and bloodied or some fresh stab wound marring his side. A walking disaster, and yet somehow grinning through the pain, cracking some awful joke the moment you picked up a suture kit. You used to roll your eyes, scoff at his shameless flirting, brushing off his comments as easily as you patched him up.

But after a few months, when he insisted on waiting for you even when another medic was available, something shifted. You started noticing the way his gravelly voice softened when he talked to you, the way his laughter filled the quiet corners of the clinic. And against your better judgment—against all your judgment—you began to look forward to those visits. It was maddening, really, the warmth you felt when he called you “doc” like it was a nickname meant only for you.

The sigh you let out feels like it’s been building for hours, maybe days. As you press your fingers into your temples, you try—really try—to recall what it was about this infuriating man that once made your stomach flip. The memory is distant, hazy, like trying to grasp smoke.

“You…” you start, pausing as though the sheer absurdity of the situation has stolen the rest of your words. “You fought a man three times your size?”

“Yup.” His response is maddeningly casual, accompanied by the faintest smirk on his stupidly chiseled face. Like he hadn’t just dragged himself in here looking like a near-death experience wrapped in bruises.

“And you thought this was a good idea…why?” you ask, more exasperated than concerned. You’re not sure why you bother asking anymore; his explanations rarely hold water.

He leans back on the examination table, as if your question requires deep thought, though the glint in his eye says otherwise. “Maybe to get some more time with you, gorgeous.”

Your jaw drops slightly before you clamp it shut, heat rising to your face despite every effort to suppress it. “Unbelievable,” you mutter, grabbing for the antiseptic. His grin only widens.

As you began to apply the serum to his wounds, Vander sat on the edge of the exam table, his broad shoulders hunched, shirt torn and bloodied as you worked to clean the deep gash along his ribs. He barely flinched at the pain, but you could see the tension in his jaw, the way his hands gripped the edge of the table like he was bracing for a fight that wouldn’t come.

“You’re too old for this,” you muttered, your tone more fond exasperation than scolding.

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Could’ve fooled me.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue, focused on your task. He watched you, his gaze heavy but soft, as if you were the only steady thing in a world full of chaos.

“You take better care of everyone else than you do yourself,” you finally said, taping the bandage in place.

“And you take better care of me than I deserve,” he replied, his voice quiet, almost reverent.

You paused, caught off guard by the honesty in his words, before shaking your head and packing up the supplies. “Please try not to make this a habit,” you said, knowing full well he wouldn’t. But the faint smile he gave you, a mix of gratitude and something deeper.

As you step closer, lifting the damp cloth to the cut along his cheekbone, Vander tenses—just slightly, almost imperceptibly—but it’s enough for his hand to shoot up, catching yours mid-motion. You freeze, startled, but the pressure of his touch is unexpected: not the iron grip of a pit fighter, but something softer, deliberate, as if he’s afraid he might hurt you.

Your gaze snaps to his, and for a moment, the room feels smaller, quieter. His calloused thumb grazes the veins on your wrist, a slow, almost unconscious movement that sends a warmth skittering up your arm.

“I’ll try to be gentle,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. You’re not sure why you feel the need to apologize, but the words slip out before you can stop them. “I’m sorry.”

His lips twitch into a faint smile, the kind that feels more like reassurance than amusement. “It’s fine,” he says, his voice low and steady. “Just… surprised me, is all.”

The silence stretches, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Slowly, his hand slips away, and you return to your task, though now your fingers tremble faintly. For all his strength, all his rough edges, moments like this remind you of the man beneath the fighter. And for some reason, that makes it even harder to focus.

“What’d you say to me taking you out tonight?” Vander asks, his tone laced with that easy flirtation you’ve come to expect. There’s no edge to it, no weight to sway your answer—just an offer, simple and open.

You roll your eyes, the corners of your lips twitching despite yourself. “You visit a free clinic twice a week,” you say, giggling as you finish securing the bandage on his arm. “You can’t afford a night out with me.”

He leans in, close enough that you catch the faint scent of smoke and leather, his voice dropping to a warm rumble. “If it’s you,” he says, eyes locked on yours, “it’ll be worth it.”

Your cheeks heat under his gaze, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing you falter. “You’re impossible,” you mutter, brushing past him to clean up your tools. But even with your back turned, you can feel his grin—and the weight of his words—lingering in the air behind you.

“You know the bar across from Jericho’s?” you ask, still facing away as you organize the tools on the counter. You don’t need to look to know Vander’s posture shifts—straightening up on the table as if he’s been caught off guard.

“Yeah?” he replies, cautious but curious.

Finally, you turn just enough to catch his eye, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Nine o’clock sharp,” you say, tilting your head toward him. “And you better be wearing something nicer than this,” you gesture vaguely at his torn, bloodstained shirt, “or I’m leaving.”

Suture kit in hand, you step back toward him, fully prepared to get to work on the fresh wound on his arm. But before you can begin, his face lights up with a smile so boyish and bright it nearly stops you in your tracks.

“Oh, trust me, Love,” he says, leaning just a little closer, his voice soft but sure. “I’ll be there.”

You roll your eyes, but the warmth in your chest betrays you. As you thread the needle, you find yourself already imagining what he might look like when he shows up. Because, for all his teasing and bravado, you know he wouldn’t dare miss it.

[atyourmerci]

† Salvation †

Read pt.1 and pt.2

†

Summary: finale of repent series! Drabble of abby and readers life after abby comes to terms with her sexuality. Happy ever after lesbos<3

Warnings: smut, MDNI, switch!abby, switch!reader, religion play of course, strap usage, refers to strap as cock, cunnilingus, overstimulation, bondage, smnophilia, dirty talk yurrrr, some fluff

A/N: thank you so much for all of the love on this series!! Religious guilt/trauma is a tricky subject and I’m glad that I was able to portray it in a light that most of you could relate or sympathize with. And yall im so bad at writing fluff that’s why this is so short lmao that’s why I only write smut. I’m so excited to write through more niche experiences and topics. Love you like always<3

†

That night was nothing like the first. Your God showed mercy, wrapping your cold, shaky body with cloth and carrying you to where it all started.

This time she held you and never left, she was there was the sun came beaming down, drying out your soaked hair. While you were asleep she had removed her cross and strung it along your neck. Maybe there was no need hold a token of a god she had already met, maybe she wanted everyone else to know- you never cared to question her antics.

After your mission had ended she immediately broke things off with Owen, reclaimed herself within the community. And she for one took no shit with the commentary from anyone about the two of you. Her life mission was to protect you at all costs now, you were all she knew. She wouldn’t leave your side anymore. Anything you did she made sure she was there to protect you, she wouldn’t put your life in anyone else’s hands but her own.

There was a lot of things you had to teach Abby, and by teach, that meant showing her with your legs wide open. On a mission you both were sent out on to look for resources you ran across a run down sex shop. You found a girthy dildo with black leather straps, it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken but with the look of excitement on Abby’s face you couldn’t say no to her. You told her you could use it on her but she insisted on fucking you right there over the counter at the dusty sex shop. She wasted no time dragging your pants down to your ankles and ripping your panties seams to get inside, ”I’d tell you to suck my cock first but you’re so fucking wet already, how bad have you wanted this,hmmm?” She promised she’d go slow, walking you through it, “fuck you’re doing so good, taking me so well for your first time.” After your pain had been replaced with sheer pleasure she couldn’t hold back anymore, pumping into you so hard there was sure to be bruises all over your hips. After abusing your hole for an hour for her own amusement she finally let you cum while drawing circles around your swollen clit as she pounded deep and slow thrust into you. you were so cockdrunk she had to carry you back to the truck and finish the mission herself, it went by quickly as she imagined things she could do to you next with her cock.

She loved showering with you at night, she never let you lift a finger, washing your body gently after sneaking in the strap into the showers. Maybe it was because she learned how to fuck you in the showers that it made her so dominant in that environment. She wouldn’t let you touch her in there even after you begged her while she pinned your arms against the wall, overstimulating your clit over and over again until she was done with you. After she’d run you a bath and hold your fragile body as she ran soapy strips up and down your bruised skin, making sure to kiss every inch so that never missed an atom of your being.

Abby only regressed back into her old ways when she let you take complete control. She’d let you tie her to the bed you shared edging her till she was in tears, babbling prayers to climax. You’d tie her cross necklace around her clit and tug on it while you used your tongue to fuck her dripping hole. You’d only let her cum after she got on her knees like a whore eating away at your cunt while you shamed her for her sins.

Your life with abby wasn’t like anything you’d ever experienced before, but there was no before her, or after her. There was only your god, and hers.

Maybe she had still repented for her sins, maybe she had reached salvation at the mercy of your own sins.

Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson2 @lanafresitas @lookforthelight1 @fict1onallyobsessed

[potchi-fics]

attitude (last part of councilor)

i | ii

      you’re the type to get whatever you want no matter what, you will do everything in your power to have it even if it means making enemies for you to succeed.

“councilors, we have to take in mind that our resources will be wasted if we choose to help zaun,” councilor salo’s booming voice started your day, “i say let them be.”

however, councilor sevika countered his statement, “with all due respect, that is the stupidest shit i have ever heard. how are we supposed to have a starting point if we have no resources to begin with?”

      a smile threatens to break into your face, finding sevika’s vulgar choice of words amusing. you lean back into your seat and cross your legs, hoping to see the outcome between the two arguing councilors. you gawk at her intense expression, how her hand tightly forms a fist, or how her jaw clenches every time she hears salo. the things you’d do to touch her, to feel her firm muscles, you are salivating. 

“councilor,” you’re brought back to the meeting by another councilor calling out to you, “what are your thoughts on this matter?”

“well, to use councilor sevika’s words, that is the stupidest shit i have ever heard. sure, zaun is independent now, but we will still need to lend help to their nation— funding, resources.” you give sevika a nod of acknowledgment, backing her up, “and piltover’s resources will not be wasted nor run out.”

“how can you say that, councilor?” these old bitches are getting on your nerve.

you stand up and put your palms against the table, “let us check the factors: for one, piltover is rich in land, water, and even free from pollution. second, we are free to trade with one another, for which zaun cannot due to no connections, or other nations refusing to build a connection with them.”

      you see them shrink back at your tone, you huff out a sigh and sit back down, looking at sevika while doing so. she brings her hand up to her lips, rubbing her jaw using her thumb in thought. 

you want her.

…

      alexandria meets you outside of the room, ready to do everything you ask her to. she falls into step beside you.

“what happened?” your face must have shown confusion, “you look tense and stressed, i figure something must’ve happened.”

your tongue clicks against the rooftop of your mouth and your eyes roll, “nothing happened, child.”

“sure, whatever you say,” she snorts, “i think you’ll be happy to hear that councilor sevika is asking for you to meet her in her office.”

you take a glance of surprise at her, “why would i be happy?”

“‘cus you want to have sex with her.”

“do not say such a thing,” you stop walking abruptly, looking at her like she’s some mad woman.

alexandria only shrugs off your stern tone, “you’re not exactly subtle about it, councilor. you better hurry up, councilor sevika is waiting for you.”

      because of your ridiculous conversation, you haven’t noticed that she’s led you to sevika’s office, you’re standing right outside her room. you could only give your daughter a look while she’s off laughing like she won a reward.

you lick your lips before raising your knuckles to knock, waiting for a few seconds to hear her muffled voice say come in, and you do. the moment you see her in her seat, eyes looking down at some paperwork on her table, only wearing a black tank top, you’re done for.

“councilor,” she gestures for you to take a seat.

you calmly do so, never forgetting to cross your legs, “why have you called me here, councilor? you’ve missed me, yes?”

“no,” she replies without even looking at you, “you’re here because i wanted to say… thank you for earlier.”

oh? 

“as you know, im not really good at shit like this, but,”

you interrupt her, standing up and walking around her table to be beside her, “sevika, i know.”

      she finally looks at you, dropping her pen and adjusting her chair so that she’s facing you. 

“i really am delighted to see you like this, sevika, i am sorry for how we… parted.” you raise your hand to touch her cheek using the back of your hand, and you don’t see her pull away.

      she seizes your wrist, you think she’s gonna push you away but she kisses your palm, pulling you softly towards her— you land on her, straddling her. you’ve missed this, you never truly stopped looking for her. she continues to kiss your palm, letting her lips glide across it, closing her eyes at your warmth. with your vacant hand, you rest it on her shoulder, savoring this moment between you two.

without thinking, you set your forehead against her, headbutting her lightly. this takes you both back, back to when you shared a bed, back to when you would share a kiss, back to when the two of you would be just… yourselves.

“you can say it, you know,” your breath fans over her, “i know you’ve missed me, councilor sevika.”

sevika moves her hand to your waist, “don’t think i didn’t see you checking me out earlier.”

      the comment sets your face ablaze, embarrassment written on it, you cough to try to cover it up but her smirk tells you otherwise. you pull away to look to the side but her hand brings you back to face her. her strong fingers bring heat to your core, making your thighs clench around her thighs. your right hand travels down to the waistband of her pants, lightly scratching her toned stomach, and resting it on her belt buckle. 

you see her look down, urging you to unbuckle it and you do. your fingers timidly work on it, weakly unbuttoning it. and when you finally do, she spreads her legs wider. goosebumps appear all over her body once she feels your fingers play with her happy trail, trailing it up and down with your faint touch. 

you stare at her with a glazed look, you lean closer, and you swear on your life, her eyes are begging you to do it: kiss me. slipping your hand inside her pants, you finally close the distance— but a knock interrupts you two, making you scramble onto your feet. 

“let go, sevika,” you hastily climb off of her, stumbling up onto your feet.

she curses under her breath, her head leaning back against her chair, “come in.”

      the figure steps into the room.

“margot?” sevika’s mood sours.

      the woman, margot, saunters over to her, choosing to stand a tad too close to your liking. she touches sevika’s shoulder, rather intimately. you squint your eyes at sevika, with her staring back at you looking rather speechless.

“sevika,” margot whines, “i’ve missed you.”

      with that, you take it as your cue to leave. before sevika could utter a word, you gave her a nod before coldly walking out of her office, anger swimming in your veins. you leave before you can see how sevika pulls away from margot.

your irritation is evident with how you stride, you make a beeline for your own office, desperate to drink your frustrations away. spotting your door, you open it but before it can close behind you, it slams wide open again, a gasp of surprise emitting from you.

you look behind and see sevika, “what is the matter with you?”

      she doesn’t give you any response, only closing your poor door and locking it. she takes a step forward and you take a step back, that goes on until your backside hits your table, rattling the things on it. she pins you against it, and you put both of your hands on her chest, stopping her from making any more advancements. 

“what,” your pitch mocking her, “why are you here? she misses you, doesn’t she?”

      sevika grasps your nape to pull you, smashing your lips together, your teeth clashing. you hate how you kiss back right away, you hate how you grip her black wifebeater to bring her even closer. her hand leaves your neck to swipe your things off of the table, and you make an effort to pull away however she doesn’t budge an inch, instead, she pushes you to sit on your now-empty furniture; lodging herself between your legs. 

she gives your jaw a peck, calloused fingers glide against the side of your thigh, and she goes back up to kiss you on your lips, her touch leaving bumps in their wake. she swallows in your whimpers, her tongue invading your mouth and licking every goddamn part of it— you’re panting now, chest going up and down, your breath short as you try to breathe through your nose. 

sevika’s only hand travels inside the hem of your dress, pushing itself through the slit: i am a fucking genius, you think to yourself.

you two separate from your heated kiss, her breath fanning over your red ear, “i dont care if she misses me.”

“how about you show me instead, councilor sevika?” you see her belt is still undone, “in fact, i’d rather feel it.”

      the image of her running after you with her belt undone, that is forever engrained in your mind. you pull her by the belt loop of her pants and trace her happy trail, slowly slithering inside her pants, past her boxers. her head falls on your shoulder, your warm touch weakening her entire system, she lets out a low growl from the back of her throat, your hand cupping her wet cunt.

you tease her clit, rubbing soft circles on it, sevika lets out a whimper from your action, spurring you more. your free hand finds itself inside her t-shirt, scraping her back— starting from her tailbone up to her nape before settling on the back of her head. you yank her head back to put your swollen lips against her once more. 

broken sighs of pleasure fill your office, along with your own. she struggles to stand up when you finally slide two fingers in, experimenting by slowly curling them, hitting her spot just right. each prod and poke emits a broken moan from her, just by the sounds could make you cum right there and there.

“go sit, sev,” your tender order contradicts the harsh thrust of your fingers inside of her.

      she grunts in annoyance but still stands up with your legs wrapping around her hips. she quickly makes her up on your chair behind the desk, not wanting to disrupt your flow. back to your position earlier, you lean back to admire the view: sevika’s dilated pupils, her shirt sticking to her sweaty body, her mouth slightly agape, and with your hand in her pants, knuckle deep inside.

“so good for me,” you adore how she closes her eyes at the praise, tightening around your fingers, “so so good for me.”

      your pace gets faster and harder, and although your arm is aching, you pay no mind. you focus on making her cum. her hand grips the armrest of your chair when the tip of your fingers hits that specific spot.

you kiss her jaw, “right here?”

“right there, fuck,” her shattered grunts egg you on to keep going.

you grip her jaw, forcing her to open her eyes and look at you, “you belong to me now, councilor.”

      your glistening iris glare at her, she could only lunge forward to kiss you. you curl your fingers just right and she’s falling apart like putty in your hands. she breaks the kiss to bury her face in your neck, her strong arm around your torso, squeezing you due to the intensity of her orgasm. 

“shit,” she’s breathless, ears ringing, “fuck.���

       you ride her orgasm out, slowly coming to a stop when she whispers you ‘too much’. her body slumps back into the chair, she looks up at you: she looks so disheveled, so fucked out. 

you pull your tired hand out of her pants to touch yourself, the need becoming stronger. her appearance excites you. the big bad wolf of zaun is at your mercy, looking so desperate. your dress hikes up and your fingers meet your own puffy clit, feeling how hot and wet it is. you give sevika a show, rubbing your cunt, tracing it slowly, spreading your slickness— she watches carefully, of course, it is you we’re talking about.

your tongue darts out to lick your drying lips and her gaze connects with yours and she loses it.

she lifts you and pushes you back on the table but only this time, you’re on your back and your legs are on her broad shoulders. without warning, she sliders your underwear aside and dives right in. you don’t get a chance to react because she’s already licking your clit, her fingers spreading you apart.

dainty hands rest themselves on top of sevika’s head, neither pulling nor pushing it. her tongue toys with your sensitive cunt, slurping noises embarrass you but you don’t have time for that because she is devouring you. her name falls off your lips but a knock makes you wrap your thighs tightly around her head to make her stop.

“councilor,” it’s alexandria, “i have your schedule for the week.”

“yes, yes,” panic dares to lace your voice but you hold out, “come back later.”

      the word later gets stuck in your throat due to sevika forcing your legs right open and sucking your pussy, your hand flying up to cover a moan that is threatening to come out. you push her forehead, quietly telling her to stop. but she’s relentless, you taste divine to her.

“are you sure? i can just leave it there inside–”

you throw your head back at a particularly harsh such, “return later, alexandria.”

      you think it convinced her to go later but you’re not sure, too focused on the pleasure that sevika is giving you. the way she plays with your clit, it makes you shudder in pleasure. you can’t breathe properly— you’re about to cum.

seems like sevika notices because she inserts her middle and ring finger, making you jolt on your table, legs shaking at the added pleasure. she pulls out only to insert another finger. tears are forming in your eyes, and your sight is beginning to blur.

giving one last suck on your puffy clit and a curl of her fingers, you come undone. you chant her name like a broken record, mewling at your orgasm riding out. after a few seconds, the pumps of her fingers slowly come to a halt when you grip her wrist.

“too sensitive, sevika,” your throat hurts.

she rests her cheek on your thigh, “you’ve never lost me, councilor. your attitude is a bit of a problem, you know.”

“councilor sevika,” you weakly sit up, the orgasm taking a toll on you. your shaky hands grab her cheeks, pulling her in, “shut it.”

[zoophilic-disorder]

🌱 Welcome to my account for people like me (but really anyone).

This is a primarily positivity blog for those with zoophilia, but I will work to have education, discussion, and community as well.

If you're a zoophile and struggle with finding any sort of community outside of pro-contact/animal abuse rings, please have hope. There are resources and places for you to be okay and not worry about harming an animal. These thoughts can be violent, scary, and deeply uncomfortable and unsettling, but you will be okay, and you will not act on them.

Feel free to send requests for posts! (ie. "Can you make affirmations for zoos who..."Can you make a positivity post for zoos who are..." or anything really, as long as it's relevant).

🌱 This blog advocates for:

• destigmatization of paraphilias, primarily zoophilia.

• anti harassment against anyone.

• pro fiction- acting out fantasies and attractions in fictional settings to cope does not make you a bad person, and you are not failing at "repressing" your paraphilia.

• anti offending/contact stances for any paraphilia that's harmful to act on. there will be no posts that cater towards other stances.

• understanding that paraphilias cannot be "cured" and instead must be accepted and coped with healithy to survive.

• saving people. you should not die simply because you have a paraphilia, your life is valuable and wanted, and you are not disgusting.

🌱 About Me & Tag Key below the line...

My name is Sprout (they/them)!

I'm 21 years old, and I'm physically disabled, which may cause me to post less than I want due to flareups. I'm also wasian- I'm unsure if this will be entirely relevant here, but I'm mentioning it regardless in case discussions come up about the POC community (especially asian) when it comes to paraphiles, and the differing experiences.

And of course, I've suspected being a zoophile since I was a young child.

I've struggled with thoughts, urges, and attractions for a long time, bringing in self-harmful or otherwise self-destructive behavior. I've been riddled with guilt for simply existing and having a disorder I had no control over, one that made me absolutely miserable (and still does to an extent).

Looking for community was impossible. It felt like there were two sides- people who wanted those like me dead, and people who genuinely wanted to act on their thoughts. Both were insufferable, but I ended up choosing the side that hated zoophiles out of disgust and fear.

I also wasn't certain at the time whether what I was experienced was zOCD, or an actual zoophilic disorder. This year, 2024, is when I finally came to the understanding I do not have zOCD, it became impossible to ignore anymore. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed, with nowhere to go.

I wonder if the reason the pro-beastiality side of the community got so large is because people kept running out of options and eventually gave up looking for a better one.

So I want to try and help mend that, and try to start proper support groups for those like me, who just want a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to, and comfort.

🌱 Tagging System

#🐾 discussion - talking about zoophilia in any way. I wish this was a general tag that all zoos would use so we could find each other, since any other zoo tag is entirely taken over by people who want us dead.

#🐾 help - resources and advice.

#🐾 positivity - positivity posts specifically for zoos.

#🐾 therian - posts catered towards therian with zoophilia.

#🐾 system - posts catered towards systems with zoophilia.

#🐾 sadist - posts catered towards zoosadists. (im not a zoosadist, if I spread misinformation please let me know).

-

#🍐 positivity - general posts for positivity, not aimed specifically at zoos.

#ask recieved - answering asks.

#snarling - discourse or potentially triggering discussion.

[livingdeadmlm]

can u do a patrick bateman x male reader one where male reader is just appreciating patricks beauty after patrick having a bad day something like that yknow? IM SO DESPERATE THANK U 😭

When he came home from a dinner with his friends you could practically feel the anger radiating off of him

‘At least he didn’t go to the tunnel today… progress?’

Sitting up from the comfortable couch it lightly creaked at your movements

“Hey Patrick, would you like to join me?”

With a huff, Patrick placed his belongings on the nearby table

"I'm just watching some reruns but we can put on whatever you'd like." He shook his head no and stepped into your shared bedroom where you could hear the shower water begin to run

getting up from the dent you made in the couch you made your way to the bedroom just to lay down and wait for his shower to be over

"you know (Name) I'm not sure why I still hang out with those assholes, for 3 hours at dinner I had to pretend to be George from human resources to Landon and it was like some sort of sick joke! I mean I've driven that guy home halfway dead and he can't even remember my name? Pathetic."

"Well next time you see him do the same back with someone else's name and see how he likes it, or just ignore him, the connections you have with these men are only worth how good they are Patrick!"

the water stopped and the clicking of lids opening and closing as Patrick sighed out more complaints about the dinner before finally stepping out

"oh wow look at you handsome," he chuckled heading to the closet for some pajamas

"I may have to start looking into skincare like yours, you just get younger after every use! Just a matter of time before someone thinks our relationship is inappropriate."

the smile on his face only got bigger at your compliments

"You know I would love for you to start your own routine of taking care of yourself, I'm just worried about others starting to take notice"

you hummed scooting over on the bed to make room for Patrick to lie down.

"well too bad no one beating you in my mind."

he tucked himself next to you the soft blanket feeling like heaven against his skin

"You really are handsome Bateman, all the work you put in really pays you off well, how about tomorrow after you get off of work we go shopping for some new pieces, spring is coming up so there should be some good stuff."

[adviceformefromme]

Hello! I love your page and I was meaning to ask for a bit of advice. I'm 15 about to have my sweet sixteen, im about to be a junior this year along with being a freshman in college due to dual enrollment, im searching for a job but of course yk everything is “16 or more” and if for rn its fine because Im a braider so money definitely comes in and im a bit on edge tryna plan for this year and my sweet sixteen. Life is a bit in between im kinda stressing but feel good and excited for things so basically my question is how do I start living what you would call a peaceful life or a “It girl” life along with managing everything. If you could help me out much would be appreciated 🩷

Hey sweetie, here are some thoughts....

1] A morning practise. Your journal. Praying. Meditating. Listening. Minimum of 30 mins for you. You can write your goals, look at your vision board. Read something that inspires you. This time for self-reflection and growth will be the foundations for living a peaceful life.

2] Eating & exercising. Treating your body as if it were a temple. Only consuming food and drinks that nourish you. Drinking enough water each day. Educating yourself on foods that support your body, and learning to listen to it. On top of that an exercise practise. Stretching at home, morning runs, a yoga practice. This is going to add so much CONFIDENCE to your life. Not only that, you will gain energy from moving your body.

3] Surrounding yourself with people who inspire you & expand you. This will accelerate your growth. You become a sponge, and gain so much from spending time with the wisdom of those who light something inside of you. If you don't have people around you, lean on YouTube / Podcast to absorb this motivational energy.

4] Look your best. Invest in your aesthetic. Become a reflection of the goddess that you are. If you are struggling with your makeup, watch YouTube tutorials. If you are not sure what clothes suit your body shape, study women who dress well with the same figure as you. If your teeth are not white enough, order those Crest whitening strips. One thing about style and presentation, it doesn't require a huge bank balance. You use what resources you have to invest in you.

And finally... Be about your business. Be in your purpose. This is the IT girl energy. She is looking her best. Thriving. Doing her hot girl walks, drinking her litres of water per day. She is moving her body. She is surrounded by inspiring women, and men who support and nourish her growth. She doesn't expend any energy on those low vibrational conversations, situations, gossip. She is in her faith. She is GLOWING. Her skin is clear because you understands and prioritises gut health, she is educated, she is helping others. She knows the value of giving back.... She is you.

[phosphor-network]

i need help with if im a osdd-1b sys or just claiming to be

So yesterday I told my friend (who is a osdd-1b) that I might/maybe have or is a osdd-1b and that I tend to not have blackouts but sometimes have memory problems but can still remember. And they told me that I might as will have osdd-1b. But I'm just not sure if I'm am and even I was I would understand more but rn I'm just full of confusion. I just help defining if I'm a sys of not. And not claiming to be. :( cuz I don't want to lie to other sys (DiD, Osdd + 1b and 1a or plural) that I'm a osdd- 1b even though I'm not sure. Just needing help that's all. /srs

hi!

i want you to know, first and foremost, that it is okay to say you have osdd-1b and end up being wrong. the most important thing isn’t that you’re “right”, it’s that the label you’re using gives you either access to a community that can help you or leads you to resources that can help you manage your symptoms.

second, osdd-1b is defined by both lack of amnesia and alters. the memory issues could be linked to any number of things, but the important thing here is if you have alters or multiple identities. if you do suspect that you have alters, i’d suggest reaching out to them and starting conversations with them (mentally if you can manage that, or through a medium such as a notebook, discord, etc) to start to explore the possibility.

third, doubting yourself and denial is actually very very common in both CDDs and nondisordered plurals. CDDs in particular are usually supposed to be hidden from you, so finding and digging into cracks in the disguise can cause your brain to doubt and deny it as a final stand between you and the disorder. CDDs are ultimately a coping mechanism, and by starting to break down the dissociative barriers by acknowledging your system, it can cause a bit of a scramble in your system. if you notice a sudden influx of new members or you realize the way your system used to run changes, that’s completely ok. it’s your brain trying to make up for the fact that it’s been found out.

i have a more in depth video about DID in particular here, and tips for systems (especially newly discovered ones) here.

good luck, and i hope this helped! if you have any more questions, ask box is always open :)

[moonshynecybin]

if you don’t mind my asking, what were the best/worst parts about living in ireland to you?

stuff i LOVED: everyone was the nicest person ive ever met im not even JOKING... wahh... my first day some lady paid my bus fair and was just so overwhelmingly kind about it... i loved living in dublin for the ability to go into a city (i am from a very rural area and it was LOVELY) and see big old buildings and museums and pubs and get to do all these things that i just never had the option to do... public transportation ruled.... and i got to TRAVEL for so much cheaper than we do in the USA and i made a lot of FRIENDS both international and irish and american.... went to irish oktoberfest with a bunch of germans and italians and taught them how to play FLIP CUP cuz they didnt know... went to scotland with my roommates and friends.... drank a lot of guinness and walked around all the parks... saw the bog bodies at the natural history museum... got drunk adn walked around temple bar... bahhh i REALLY did like it whenever i wasnt trapped inside the house...

Stuff i HATED under the cut it has truly nothing to do with the country it was my living situation. lol. well actually im gonna be honest the weather was ASS but i knew that goin in. got to see some rainbows who CARES:

um the BIGGEST THING. was that my living situation was five alarm bell insane. i had to pick a place before flying over so i only saw it over facetime(RUH ROH) and my landlords did not seem interested in providing me and my roommates (two other american girls in their mid twenties) with a liveable space like at all. they never turned the heat on (i was shivering literally constantly. the other girls showered at the university bc it was literally too cold to do it at home. AND they didnt let us buy any electronics without prior approval so we could not buy like. a space heater. it was CRAZY i could see my breath in my ROOM...). they didnt allow any visitors not even my MOM to let me move in. there was a curfew they didnt tell us about. we didnt have a sink in our kitchen (and we had to walk outside to a different part of the building to access it). there was mold EVERYWHERE.AND apparently the reason we were living there was to fund house renovations so they were constantly kicking us out of our rooms to let in builders/construction people (one of the final straws was my roommate coming back from xmas break to find that they had moved her and ALL her stuff out of her room to do a renovation literally without telling her lol. they moved a WALL and we didnt have a SINK STILL...). they tried to enter my room without my permission. and all of this was PROHIBITIVELY expensive like genuinely i could have gotten a studio with the fees i was paying (and they made us pay in cash so. ATM fees compounded all that lol) BUT. they had us trapped in this ILLEGAL lease that stipulated that if we moved out we would owe our ENTIRE remaining rent for the agreed lease period. we sent this to a lawyer later he was like these guys are buckshit insane. i firmly believe they chose american girls and didnt let our parents like. even see the exterior of the house because they knew our moms would call bullshit immediately but WHATEVERRR... anyways after i left i found out that they had a secret baby that they didnt tell us about either. CRAZY!!!!

my school program also was not the most rigorous AND my migraine symptoms started while i was over there soooooo in addition to literally being cold ALL the time, i had NO idea what was going on with my head/health + i didnt really have the resources to find a new place/fight with my landlords + i was rapidly running out of money bc of how expensive everything about my housing was + i wasnt even getting the education i wanted because my professors sucked ass. so when i went home for winter break i just didnt come back ! and i got my roommates to send my stuff to the states. it was like the most insane six months of my life i lost like ten pounds from stress lol

[embodiedfutures]

BFP Pinned Masterpost

hey everyone! im finally doing it: making a masterpost! there's just so many things i want to pin so i gave in!! i'll be updating throughout the day so keep a look out :)

—

who am i? what is BFP?

my name is reaux (she/they) and i am the main voice of this blog! some (relevant) fun facts about me include:

i am a queer, genderfluid Black woman! i'm also Mad, hard of hearing, chronically ill, and working class, so i often speak on issues related to each of these identities/positionalities

i'm an undergraduate psychology major, sociology minor attending an HBCU

my dream one day is start my own peer respite :D

i love answering asks and sharing resources!

@reaux07 | @reauxsrecollection | @publiclyprismatic

as for what this blog is, it's actually the social media account of a registered nonprofit. BFP exists outside of tumblr! fun facts about BFP include:

originally founded in Bulbancha (so-called new orleans, louisiana) by a group of 12 year olds

entirely run by marginalized youth (folks 25 and under, mainly BIPOC!) around the globe since 2016

curious about what we stand for? our guiding principles and core beliefs are linked here!

we offer over 3,000+ free social justice, health, and academic resources through our Liberation Library, all very carefully organized

we offer 24/7 peer support, a decolonial book club, private affinity groups, mutual aid, and so much more through our youth activist Discord server. anyone can join but be aware that we aim to actively center the lived experiences of youth of color at all times!

we're always looking for new volunteers, both in-person and remotely, all with varying responsibility levels. there's something for everyone!

—

our most recent announcement attached here!

[liauditore]

Pssst if you’re still doing the shipping bingo, how would team rancher/solidaritek fill your bingo board?

OFC. RANCHERSSS ALWAYS AND FOREVER 😭😭

ok but.. real talk i think ranchers is like. my number two "I actually ship this no strings or footnotes attached" ship right after ethubs.

I am usually not one to be moved by ships that are just "they are fun and healthy together and love eachother" but oh GOD the ranchers. See I think the thing is they just.. make sense for eachother even if you don't expect it until the point they realise they're soulmates.

Jimmy's situation has been talked about to hell and back at this point but Tango is also very out of his element in the life series. He says himself that pvp is not his specialty and he doesn't have the time or resources to make his skill set shine. So he ends up either somewhat ignored or outcasted for most of the games. (<-- fyi fun fact this is where the whole 'mech pilot tango' idea came from lol. i feel like he'd have a dva-style mech outside of the life series)

In particular i LOVE his relationship with team BEST and I NEED desperately to talk abt it more. the way he's constantly talked over by his own teammates, intimidated, asked to sacrifice his own lives for their sake, "tango's Easy", etc. etc.

‘Cause inside, nothing’s fine It should be clear to prying eyes But I won’t let the feelings See the light So tell me, why should I even try? I’m frozen away in time

(Koala, Will Stetson)

They both have this habit of hiding their own insecurities behind a facade of boisterousness, but no matter how much either of them puff out their chests and raise their voices, their message of "please take me seriously" never seems to get through.

The Ranchers are just.. two losers against the world. and they inspire confidence within the other that they can't find in themselves. and yes the world forces them apart but you can Feel that influence they've had on one another in the background.

Guess I went and caved I wonder, is there another way? Because I want to believe That one day I’ll be okay So now, I’ll give it another try I can finally see with a clearer mind Even if the bumps in the road Might try to stop me, Still it’ll be alright Keeping it inside Isn’t clearing up the sky So you tighten your hand in mine Following the light like a cute Koala Laughing in stride

Plus I, uh... Unhinged but I have this thing with the life smp where there's this running theme throughout the story about how it doesn't really matter who wins or who dies first.

Because for every epic battle and every tear-jerking death there was fun and laughter and stupid, trivial drama before and in between and those little moments may not be as memorable or written down in history but they're what makes the series enjoyable. Yes, we're all gonna die, but isn't it cool that we laughed with eachother and made dumb jokes and adopted a frog and said "I love you" on the way there?

j-just like real life. life smp. evangelion moment im sorry

Though both of us will die one day Though this life is useless anyway When you’re here by my side, you make me feel like it’ll be okay And yet we laughed despite it all At this life which has no meaning at all Two lonely and broken souls leaning on each other’s sides I’m glad that you’re you, that I’m me, and for us two I’m kinda glad that you’re evil too When the day starts anew, hope I spend it with you I’m glad that I fell in love with you

(I'm Glad You're Evil Too, Rachie/Anthong translyrics)

The Ranchers epitomize that.

They are doomed. They both know this, I think. Neither of them can fight, they're left begging for scraps by session 2, no one on the server takes either of them seriously and they lost a life literally like 10 minutes into the first episode.

But they built a home together, raised livestock, stood up for eachother. and they were happy together.

and isn't that what really matters?

and neither of them are even aware of how much they really meant to the other one. the game ends. tango tells jimmy to go home. go. they certainly don't break up to the extent of Some Other Pairings In This Series but i like to think tango distances himself, thinking jimmy would be happier with his friends and not stuck with him. jimmy thinks the same. but they still wave hi and call eachother rancher and now they're running a salad restaurant together or something i guess.

It's just.. everything that gets the two of them condemned and made fun of in their other relationships is what's Celebrated in theirs. They can just be themselves, mistakes and silliness and imperfections at all, with no pressure to perform amazing feats and make amazing stuff and I think that's great.

um yeah i like ranchers.

[bronsinseele]

lee oathofkaslana, i was wondering if you have any advice for getting into hi3, especially in regards to digging into the lore. i’ve been following along with your hi3 posts for literal months and i get more intrigued each time you discuss it so i finally decided to just go for it. i know theres the game/webtoon/animated shorts/cooking with valks but i’m not totally sure about how to go about approaching all of it and the more obscure elements (like the other games with the hi3 characters) because i don’t want to miss out on anything. is there a certain order of approach that you suggest? also, are there any resources that may help with taking it all in, like explaining the basics and the timeline or something like that? there’s no pressure to answer right away, i’m sure you might want time to compile your thoughts, i just trust your judgement on how to get into hi3 over trying to figure it out myself based on how knowledgeable you appear to be about everything.

cracks knuckles. anon im being so serious this made my day both bc of your kind words and bc its the perfect opportunity for me to infodump about hi3 resources (<- especially unfortunate part of my current interest on hi3 is that im a lil too deep into things about the game that dont really matter?? thats beside the point)

lee oathofkaslana's hi3 starter guide :) ps: important. please please read my warning in the comics section of other content.

reading lists! ok this is the most important thing so its going first. hi3's comics are a lot more important to the plot than like. genshin's. and its kinda annoying bc in some cases you'll be guided from going between chapters of the game to a comic and vice versa. i highly recommend checking out both of these reading lists: hoyostans reading guide (start from part 1 phase 1) archives wiki hi3 reading list the seconds a lot easier to follow imo! especially with the earlier ones. i personally prefer primarily using the second one and then consulting the first to see if there's any extra content that's missing (since some ggz/retconned hi3 comics are linked there and provide some context! the first one also has some very helpful notes from the OP!) i DO think that reading the comics in the order listed on the archives wiki and then starting chapter one is best. it might feel like a dip in story telling though but i promise it will get a lot btter once theyre a lot more stable w their game development and writing :)

other content: comics: ok first i have to put a warning. escape from nagazora is from ggz iirc and like. early ggz and early hi3 humor kinda sucks ass. there's awful sexualization of underaged girls and its weird about women and this is where a lot of the fetishization comes in. they're also not normal about consent here. also another warning about azure waters. it heavily references CSA and has an almost rape scene and i completely hated the way it was all visually portrayed. if needed I will gladly summarize these comics for you without any of those details. this aside, the comics are included in the reading guides! there are also non-canonical ones though! (4komas featured on the manga site and 4komas from the jp twitter! theres a google drive linked in the other post w fan translations. they're comedic and not at all canonical but they may spoil things since its run coincides with the game's progress so i dont really recommend reading them until you're farther along. atm i am just starting part 1.5 and ive read most of it, but i am intentionally avoiding newer ones just by looking at what design is in the thumbnail. they're very quick to read though dw!) animated shorts -> they are included in the game :) if you would prefer watching them in chinese, i'm afraid you'll have to look at it on youtube though :' for some reason on the western servers all the CG's in the first part are in japanese even if you switch your language to chinese. chronicles -> they're included in both the reading guides! theres some that aren't very lore relevant (dreams of gemima and kallen chronicles) but they're a fine source of weapons and crystals (hi3 equiv of primos) part 2 -> i haven't started it yet but from what i've seen, it's recommended that you finish part 1 before this. open-world -> again, follow the reading order for these :) the only exception is APHO because that takes place in the future (after part 1.5). i haven't finished it and i personally don’t plan to until after i do 1.5 in case there's any important spoilers! there are major hints that kinda spoil the end of part 1 though. <- same with the alien space comic. it takes place. sometime after APHO i think. other universe events -> primarily captainverse. obv these take place in a different universe! these characters are not the same as the main characters. iirc the only one that's really lore-relevant is honkai salvation log (it comes later in the game and later in the hoyostans reading guide!!) donghua: cooking with valks: not canonical content. season 1 is pretty safe but it is best watched after chapter 12 to get full context for some references! honestly you could probably get by with watching the rest of the series after imo but if you'd prefer to play it safe, the hoyostans guide includes it :) golden courtyard: do not watch this one until you finish chapter 31. journey crisis: do not watch this until you finish part 1.5 ggz/hg2: honestly. you don't need to know ggz for hi3. you would benefit from knowing the retrospective timeline's history for the main trio but from there on, ggz and hi3 follow completely different stories with different characters. honestly you could go by without knowing the main trio's history in retro i think its already explained enough in the main story and other media.

links. youtube: homulabs -> has cohesive lore videos that help a lot (esp later on)! also has some hsr stuff if you're interested :) hide's honkai archives -> playthroughs of all of part 1 completely in chinese (including cut scenes). also fixes up some of the translations since i believe the eng translations are translated from the jp dub! i mostly use this to both rewatch chapters when i need background noise and look at cutscenes with OP's translations. i find it interesting.. official hi3 youtube visual novels: again, look at the reading guides. im pretty sure think some of those links on both guides are wonky though so ill provide them here. ae visual novel (eng) shattered swords/7 swords visual novel (eng) durandal visual novel (eng) i also have a larger post with various links here build/combat: ok this is my weakspot. marisa honkai -> kind of unfortunate backbone of the hi3 community. allegedly kicked someone from his discord server for saying kiana is a lesbian. but his infographics are useful! he also has a youtube but i can't vet how his videos are o7 <- lore player and very obvious about it elysian realm shallow sequence -> in case you're ever struggling w this part. dont worry about it early game though you'll get to it in time. honestly its optional though so.

quick tips/loose info:

the wikis will be your best friend.

do the character trials!! they teach you how to use any of the characters and you can open them whenever you want! if the battlesuit is new, you will also get rewards if you do the trial in time :)

honkai has an absurd amount of currencies for some fucking reason. this is more of a warning than a tip.

ok imo hi3 combat is super super fun but my god the powercreep sucks asssssssss. i hate the process of building characters because you have to pull for characters signature gear and that equipment banner's pity doesnt carry over it fucking sucks.

BUT don't worry too much honestly if you are just playing for the story like i am it doesn't matter too much since you don't need to use your own valkyries for much (story wise). do at least build some though even to a minor degree (you will need them for chronicles)

speaking of gacha though! there's no 50/50 to worry about in honkai!

don't go into the chat for room 1 its fucking scary and full of weirdos (derogatory) and assholes. first and last time i went there i saw homophobes.

remember this is all for fun :) sorry if this seems long or wayyyy too serious i meant it when i say im awfully fixated on this fuckass game! i hope you enjoy it if you continue to play it :DD <3

[master-missysversion]

Boom thoughts

Liveblog under the cut as usual

Tldr: this episode was absolutely brilliant, so much tension, a brilliant storyline, some hard hitting criticisms of capitalism and Christianity/blind faith, side characters you can't help but get invested in and soo many emotional scenes. I can't see anything this season topping this episode for me but it has left me far more excited for the rest of the season than i was previously

Something about the video looks weird. Like it very much just looks like these soldiers are standing in front of a greenscreen

Child character :) Moffat loves a child character and I eat it up every time

Mundy is so beautiful

"They ran out of money" I wonder if the "ambulance" kills injured soldiers to save resources

Ohhh my god that whole sequence with Carson stepping on the mine had me on the edge of my seat and then my jaw on the floor

This episode so far is off to a brilliant start, im already feeling really invested in these characters and the tension is thick

ohh I'm thinking I was right about soldiers being killed to save resources or something

THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

Rip John Vater I was legitimately so invested in you, but i had a feeling that would happen

"Stay there!" *ruby casually walks out "okay, coming!" Dhfbdkdm

Also I love how he says to stay there then leaves the door wide open like bffrrr you knew she was coming

I think for the sake of saving time, the doctor should probably tell ruby that you don't actually need to lock the tardis behind you

The Skye Boat Song 💃🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

This reminds me of Merlins death in Kingsman tho

"I was kinda hoping for a beach" you'd get along great with Yaz

I missed the doctor telling random stories so much 😭 I'm gonna hc the lesbian gymkhana adventure happened with Yaz and she was sooo annoyed the doctor ruined their outing with a stupid bet

Okay I know its probably just because she's being written by Moffat but I am reallyyy seeing the similarity to Clara now

And we're back to music....this seems to be a recurring theme

WHAT was that poem?? "The moon and the presidents wife" is a clear reference to the doctors own life. Gonna be thinking about this one for a while

"Beyond acceptable parameters for a conflict as budgeted" I knewww it

"People don't usually bring that up" yes they do. Literally all the time 😭 I know he's just trying to appeal to the kid

Ohhh is there even an enemy?

"Hush" the return of moffats favourite word 😆

NOOOO NOT CANTO

how could you do that to me 😭 poor Canto Poor Mundy

Is this woman Susan twist btw? Im not good with faces but it could be right?

KISS KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ty John Vater I always loved you

The way he just pushes Ruby down lmaooo

Mention of a diary will be feeding the "river is Ruby's mother" theorists

Beautiful

"He's not gone, he's just dead. He's not gone" i love how this is a twist on the "they're not gone because they're always there in spirit" trope

The vworp vworps are back!

Now time for the next time trailer

This looks really interesting, I think this episode has really got me excited for this series in a way that I wasn't before, its a shame moffats not writing more of it but I'm excited to see what happens in 73 yards

I love that they're finally back in Wales

Who issss sheee. I need to know

Also I just saw the credits and I was right about the Ambulance being Susan Twist! I think she's the person talking about Mad Jack too isn't she?

Final thoughts: this was an absolute banger of an episode, honestly I fear that none of the other episodes in the season will live up to it. I just enjoyed every minute so much, the build up, the tension, the emotions, the engaging side characters, the running themes and hints at the overall season plot were all absolutely brilliant. It was so good parts of it had me skipping back a few seconds to watch scenes again. I wasn't sure what to expect going in but this exceeded my expectations nonetheless

[narwhalandchill]

Hello! I saw you mention Childe in labyrinth warriors (hope that’s the right name) when talking about the 4.6 appearance, can I ask you about your thoughts on him there? I didn’t get to play that event- so what I know about it is spotty at best. Just that it’s in Inazuma, had Xinyan I think? And that Childe was there. And the little paper dude. I’m genuinely curious about what insights you gained from the event into his character- and I’d love to hear you talk about Childe more.

(can you believe. when i say. now that im finishing this up. that it got out of hand anon??? uhhhhhhhhhhhh. i mean. at this point this should be expected)

hi!!!! sorry this took a bit, ive been somewhat sick all week and also just now absorbed by the nuzlocke im doing but Anyway. am here now thank you sm for the ask and enabling childe thoughts!!!!!

. readmore bc this Actually got just. unbearably long otherwise JIWDJDWJKDJKWWJDK 😭😭😭😭

so the outline is basically as u said, but like. to summarize it w some particular details mentioned since they Do matter (sorry it got giga fucking long bc i think the full context is helpful for discussing childes parts too lmao). but here goes:

so a mysterious domain has appeared out of thin air on narukami island with monsters spewing out from within into the countryside. now this is an Issue (TM) bc timeline-wise this is still v much the immediate aftermath of the inazuma AQ and the civil war - the nation & esp the tenryo commission rly isnt in ideal shape resource and manpower wise to deal w another crisis like this and it has sara rightfully tense after the initial waves of the monsters were finally forced back. she kinda cant afford to send her men to scout inside the domain (it also kinda. opens and closes and reopens at random which is another issue for potential scouts) but if nothing is done to stop the monsters she must commit to a full on assault to destroy the domain to remove the threat & shes more or less on a timer with that. making it quite the precarious situation for her politically too and not just security wise. (keep this in mind)

how we end up being asked to investigate the place has to do w the. im ngl p convoluted xinyan b plot basically she was invited to a music festival as a performer but it was cancelled so now she lacks the travel permits she needs and getting new ones is Not fast without some inside help. we agree to look for sara so she could argue xinyans case, run into her dilemma w the domain and she agrees to expedit the process if we investigate the place in her forces' stead. (xinyan the civilian tags along for some reason too)

first time u go in, u find the paper dude (kind of an enchanted paper familiar of sorts) aka shiki taishou outside who has lost his memory yet is undoubtedly connected to the domain which is obviously a bit suspicious given the whole. monster spewing into the neighborhood deal. but idk she passes xinyans music vibe check so she argues we should help him recover his memories and in turn discover the truth of the domain along the way.

once we get inside the domain we obviously run into mr. worldwide himself including but not limited to a closeup of his crotch during his introduction for some reason. yeah its been nearly 3 years these things you cant unsee. that and the sending us sausage in his bday mail. like bruh

now childes (as he eventually divulges) in inazuma to look for traces of scara who ran off w the gnosis and happened to stumble into this strange domain with weird vibes. he thought it might be something relevant and waltzed in, proceeded to get locked inside (as the domain shifted) and beat the shit out of all the monsters there all the while having the time of his life bc hes simply built different. bc turns out the place is basically just a full-on sparring simulator for warriors that seems to be running by itself w no one overseeing it ever since the domain resurfaced cue the "pratice targets" aka monsters running wild

dont wanna recap the entire thing in detail but basically. firstly childe kinda improvs another new identity as an adventurer noticing xinyans liyuen attire bc Osial Incident and picking up the awkward energy we have at the realization of. this might be messy if we tell her. and xinyan buys it and nicknames him "red" w/e. so thats why the harbinger thing doesnt become a bigger conflict

he then informs us that all the monsters within the domain turn into torn paper charms when destroyed and that there are "replicas" of shiki taishou strewn about the domain that should restore his power and hopefully memories over time.

so we end up going thru the place helping shiki taishou gather his power and uncover the nature of the place. he kind of has an identity crisis happening bc all the monsters the place is generating seem to imply he was created for some nefarious purpose as a weapon of some sorts (childe says some Very Interesting Things in response as an attempt at pep talk. will get to it).

but TLDR what we do discover is actually that the shikigami/paper magic and the domains functions were basically a system invented after the domains creator harunosuke studied similar adeptal techniques in liyue in order to create the shikigami as these battle partners for samurai fighting against monsters from the cataclysm. these paper dolls could then record and replicate the monsters it and its partner fought in order to train others inside the domain so that inazumas protectors would always be ready to face such a threat if it ever came to be. shiki taishou was created as the "overseer" of this domain and its functions as a training facicility. by regaining his memories and finding clarity in his purpose shiki taishou gains control over the place again and is able to shut down its rogue functions so that it no longer poses a threat. he then promises to improve upon its workings by taking it to dormancy again. sara is relieved that the crisis could be averted without costing her manpower or further resources she doesnt have. yippee

So. yeah that took way too long mb jdwhjwdjdwadwaj but. Childe.

so there are a particular standouts in here in my opinion.

for one that is less like. a characterization aspect but more of a "gotcha" confirmation thats very nice to have is that he explicitly confirms that wherever in the abyss he spent those 3 months at 14, it DID involve places tied to the irminsul and its roots.

fissures between great tree roots u say?????? Inch resting ajax. tell me more abt the trees king.

also this monologue is literally so fucking sexy in general i love his single-minded pursuit of something as like. quintessentially simple as just. Improvement. but bc he has literally 0 fucking chill in his boundless hunger for that one singular ambition it alone is enough to disrupt the gravity of the world around him....... (but we will get to that)

Anyway. another Very good fucking moment from him character-wise is during the 2nd act. where weve spoken w sara about the tense situation after the 1st day of investigation ended w all of us minus childe (who got "trapped" inside the same way a child gets "trapped" inside a free-for-all candy store with all amenities included. he had a blast) getting thrown out and the domain rearranging itself again. and like we go back in once the entrance opens and are even more eager and restless to start figuring things out bc again. sara is on a timer.

and then .

guys im pretty sure theres a twitch emote for this???? something starting with C and ending with AUGHT?

LMAOOOOOO

he reads the shit out of us trying to all "subtly" push for the investigation to proceed so the crisis we are actually tasked to investigate can be solved. like this is literally just Actual 5d chess situational awareness and picking up cues from people around him and honing onto exactly whats stirring up in the undercurrent from childe. basically. he just lays onto us like. ah right. this is probably a big problem for that tenryo commission right? such a problem that theyd even ask an outsider to cover their duties... when thatd never happen during regular times right? a conundrum that could get even more problematic if theres a harbinger publicly around... right? oh my bad my bad haha just thinking out loud bestie lets get back to investigating shall we? hahaha

he is such a smart fucking Bastard oh my godddddd bro is out there smelling the traces of societal unrest and any and all weaknesses in a given governing structure like hes a shark tasting like 0,00000001% blood in the water . professional & supernaturally efficient problem causer everyone. this is what he was hired for . i love him

like. hes SMART guys. and hoyo Knows how to work his intelligence into the writing too its soooo scrumptious man .

and like bro hes being such a fucking menace in here too bc. he couldve kept this observation to himself too. but nooooo he just had to shove it in ur face that we are Not being as slick w keeping him in the dark as we would like to think💀💀 smug ass.

it makes me think abt how many things he actually Notices among the harbingers and all their power plays and schemes among one another but that childe simply keeps to himself bc he has nothing to gain from disproving the assumption of himself as this. gullible and simple-minded loyal warrior harbinger and the person-shaped time bomb we toss at wherever the flames of discord need some help sparking alight. after all, we saw this in arles quest too - how not only did he use our pathetic distraction attempts as an opportunity to fish relevant information on both arlecchino and pulcinella for himself (which i already commented on) but also. the fact that he Very clearly noticed our attempt at distracting her and intentionally helped us out without even knowing anything abt the matter at hand. to the point where even arle makes that Highly pointed comment about it and all but spells out that childe was assisting us on purpose the entire time.

like he is just. incredibly perceptive and so fucking intelligent like especially back in 2.2 where even Bigger of a portion of the fandom (if thats even possible) than today just thought of him as this. stupid fucking baby infant meow meow idiot brainwashed by the tsaritsa and completely owned by zhongli and signora XDDDDDD . seeing this unfold made me so fucking happy abt the way like. yeah HOYO knows what his character is all abt. the fandom can ruin him all the want but the games story isnt going to bend to their will.

Speaking of Which.

The weapon thing.

so as ive already alluded to prior . the entirety of labyrinth warriors despite it highlighting childes intelligence, attitude, priorities and ambitions in a way thats like. genuinely so fucking good and comes off as natural with no forced sounding exposition or backstory dump . mostly got a fan reception more in the way of . waa waa my baby boy is depressed with sigma PTSD 3.0 with DLC because calling yourself a weapon is self dehumanization and it signals he is suicidal and has no self worth 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he got TRAPPED in the EVIL DOMAIN consisting EXCLUSIVELY of all his favorite activities nonstop he must be feeling so scared i need to hug him my babygirl!!!!!!!!!11!1!1

when its like. ah yes. i have never heard of a motif ever before.

bc like as much as i do genuinely consider it something that more or less can be taken at face value as an Aspect of who childe is (not necessarily the whole of it, just another mask true to a part of his self) . it should still be acknowledge that part of the reason why his dialogue (and the event in general) fixates on the notion of being a "weapon" has to do with shiki taishous character arc.

because thats what he is. and is trying to discover what kind of purpose a discarded (bc harunosuke left the domain abandoned at the end) weapon and tool like himself can even have anymore. and childes lines taking that repeated emphasis of. whats so bad about being a WeaponTM (& expanding on what that means for Him) specifically . are as much about himself as they are just an attempt to communicate his worldview to shiki taishou as a way of pushing him towards solving this identity crisis he has . that paper boy literally Needs to solve in order for the domain to stop malfunctioning.

and like. okay even if we just look at it w/o paper boy. so say childe considers himself a weapon . but what does that mean to him?

[incoming top 5 dialogue lines that genuinely fucking challenge my sexuality this is so fucking hot. no one talk to me]

"Only those that wish for an end will find one."????????

"My limits vanish behind the horizon with every step I take"??????

FUCK OFF OH MY GODDDD

like people think of childe as this fatalistic if not actively suicidal then at least like passively reckless and uncaring towards his own wellbeing blood knight w low self esteem barreling towards his death and here he is. using his own fucking words. saying that the mere CONCEPT of an END. is not in his fucking VOCABULARY. because it does not serve his ambition to let such confusions ever obstruct his sights.

people think his purpose and ambition is soooo tied to his family tied to the tsaritsa that if those are ever taken away he will just freefall into the depths of directionless confusion and depression and whatever. when.

Here he is. giving a fucking pep talk to a DISCARDED WEAPON THAT HAS LOST HIS PURPOSE. EXCEPT HE KINDA JUST SAYS ITS A SKILL ISSUE TO EVEN NEED TO CONSIDER AN END TO YOUR PATH (hes silly like that). AS AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE. A WEAPON THAT CUTS ANYTHING.

oh hey thats funny now where have i heard that before. bonjour my baguettes any fontainian cults or god kings out there interested in the world and fate altering power of unstoppable weapons that can cut into anything even ego and destiny itself and whatever that may mean?????? O____o

i swear to fucking god if the entire time this entire weapon allegory from labyrinth warriors was all about all cleverly n loosely associating him with themes relating to descenders and wills that rival the world all the way back in 2.2. and yet on release all people wanted was to weep for how sad it was he thought himself a weapon. man why is it always like this . i weep for THAT.

like. idk i dont have anything poetic to say abt it other than childes drive as an individual is just fucking breathtaking to me??? its literally Scary how utterly consumed he is by that ambition yet at the same theres this . crystalline clarity he has towards viewing it and himself ?? this weird ass self awareness that coexists with the all-consuming pursuit and ambition of it all??? this isnt sad this is both ridiculously attractive AND batshit insane like dudeeee . and like . the way he talks about it too like this is just a matter of fact everyday thing to him 💀💀 bc thats his abyss shrimp color vision this is how he rolls . its nothing grandiose its just how he is . this is normal to him its unbearable i hate him

like somewhat unrelated here (sorry) but sometimes i see ppl go against the possibility of childe having sth to do w the 3rd descender (which like yes is a crack theory for now and its not sth i can fully align myself with either as of rn Due To Those Thematic Clashes it just lives rent free Because of how conflictingly insane it is while also having some Strangely compelling evidence in its favor) or even just. Any higher predestined significance assigned to him in the grand scheme of things with the sole argument of like . but then everything about Him is worthless bc it wasnt His ambition and His drive to overthrow the world he wasnt Just A Guy (and. sigh. as the op. of that ancient thing. stop taking that old ass hastily typed post too far and too literally thx. its abt the vibe the attitude the subversion. having a destined purpose if the story handles it well does not conflict w being the quintessential just a guy thanks xx). he was just special all along so it all means Nothing and its like. dude. he told a recently-amnesiac paper boy having an identity crisis that its a fucking skill issue to ever falter in the face of some greater purpose haunting in your past or defining your origins. that a True weapon cuts himself free of even that without even a sliver of hesitation . ppl think that if indeed some soul of the 3rd descender is resurrected in story and idk tries taking over his body with past lives and memories or whatever. you think he isnt ripping the essence and existence of that poor fucking dude apart and devouring him alive into the crushing depths of the black hole of an unquechable ambition that beats a steady pulse at His core just to reclaim HIS place as the ultimate weapon to cut through everything???????

aww thats so cute. you guys think even the hypothetical of theories akin to these being legit on some level is automatically going to ruin his arc and character bc hes gonna be taking it lying down!!!!! you think hes going to look at a Grand destiny Assigned to him by someone Outside and Above and not spit in its face!!!

just like his narwhal looked at the destined cosmic end of All life to fall to ruin and immediately devoted its entire existence to denying the universe that very outcome isnt that curious why are they the sam---------------SORRY SORRY where was i at

like. i see how it is for yall. well. myself on the other hand. i have some fucking faith in him lmao

partially . indeed Because. i read the goddamn text of labyrinth warriors. where they let him Talk about what these things mean to him. and how he Truly isnt about to stop. Ever. hes not looking for an end and if presented with one he sure isnt about to respect it. hes just. built different its absolutely amazing

and yeah my bad i got. sidetracked very badly there. you asked me abt labyrinth warriors but bc its childe this is just what tends to happen like my brain fucking spirals. but like . no im not saying that the weapon theme being such a prevalent aspect in the story is like 100% a descender and sword of narzissenkreuz thematic parallel and intentional reference i just think its Quite interesting in hindsight . that This is the angle they drilled in on .

anyway hopefully this at least had Something to illustrate abt why i love labyrinth warriors for how it serves to establish how much of a madman childe ajax tartaglia my beloved truly is . and how to hoyo his outlook towards the world has very much been one of endless limitless hunger and never-sated ambition . and not whatever fanon wants to cook up. childes greatest enemy has always been stagnation and he has always looked towards the Future. of surpassing each and every limit and boundary on his path . like thats what makes him who he is.

also. last lil thing aka. Most Ignored Canon Line Spoken By This Man

which is a shame bc. its so fucking interesting??? i mean. i get that ppl dont know what to make of it bc everyones so fixated on picturing childe as this loyal puppy tsaritsa fanboy who couldnt even deign to imagine discarding allegiances to anyone yet here he is. saying exactly that.

like ive seen ppl be like oh hes trying to Convince himself of this!!!! hes putting up an act!!!!! and its like? no? i dont think this contradicts anything about his character. people just find it uncomfortable because it implies that the things he listed there are not something of any Inherent value to him. which adds up perfectly fine to me but what do i know.

like the way i have always seen this is that it really isnt. oh childe says he isnt actually a loyal person When it matters to him personally and isnt actually invested in fulfilling his duty (as of Right Now, mind you) which would yes seemingly contradict a lot of other things. but really its just that those concepts alone are void to him. you cant stop him from pursuing his ambition by saying its evil. if the tsaritsa ever truly loses his respect and leaves him completely disillusioned in the archon that once was a fellow honorable warrior in his eyes, the concept of "allegiance" will not be able to dissuade him from turning that burning ambition of toppling the heavens towards her throne too. personal respect maybe. a sense of honor. maybe even disdain so extreme that even investing that time into her now is a waste? sure. but like. you get what im trying at? he is way more ambivalent about these things than most people really Want him to be. bc they dont fulfill the hunger that burns at his core.

and it adds up. bc like. his ambition his drive towards battle and bettering himself and becoming a weapon completely unstoppable and irreplaceable that can conquer the world . is his north star. its the singularity that all else about him orbits around. of course silly little concepts like right and wrong will be secondary to that. we just really havent seen a moment where his ambition is in true conflict with the bonds and oaths he has sworn in his current life. but i have a feeling that if and when we do. this line will make a lot more sense lmao

anyway uhhhhhhh

yeah i liked labyrinth warriors!!! very underacknowledged and misrepresented event that had a ton of fun stuff abt childe. i am super normal about these hip and enjoyable aspects of his character as they are explored within this event as the length and contents of this post imply!!!!

omg anon i. really fucking hope u got at least Something u were looking for out of all this KWJKJKDWWJKDWJKDJKWDK i swearrr i just cannot. stop myself from completely fucking losing it on the asks of every innocent anon (and like non anon too why not) approaching my ask box 😭😭

but thank you again for sending this in!!!!!! have a nice day!!!! im very normal thanks for asking!!!!!

[orcelito]

Hi I started playing a game and it has taken over my life

This bitch. I hadn't even heard of it before today (well, yesterday) but now it's 5 am and I've played like 12 hours straight. I've already cried to it. I'm having the time of my life and it's SO hard to drag myself away from it, oh my fucking god

LIKE

I wasn't expecting to get this invested in the characters. I'm rping in this something fierce. In the game you're following this kid from 10 to 20 years old while your community is setting up a settlement on a new planet, & all that entails. It does NOT play nice. Where I'm at, there are Six named characters who have died (bc im committed to not using guides for this first run). But that's like. The Point. It's a game about the dangers of such a place, but also the dangers of unchecked colonization, Depending on your choices. You have your childhood friends who grow and drift apart with conflicting viewpoints and everything. And it's up to you to decide how that turns out.

For me, I'm playing as a kid who wanted to be a biologist (looking up to their botanist parents), but due to the dangers of the world & the traumas that resulted, veered Hard into a more martial role. Every year since they were 10 years old, they've snuck out to fight in battles until they were finally old enough to have clearance to join them officially. They threw themself mind body and soul into exploration and resource gathering to do ANYTHING to help the needs of the colony (but even then, it wasn't enough).

And now they don't know what else to do. Traumatized, they've joined the new military bc it's the only way they can think of to have enough strength to get people to Stop Being Killed. But at the same time, they do still love nature and exploration (for the simple joy of exploration, not just resource gathering), so there's a part of them that knows This Is Wrong. But one of their childhood friends is Also throwing herself wholeheartedly into the military for very similar reasons to them (it's the loss, it's always the loss), while another friend is embracing nature wholeheartedly and protesting against the violence (& judging the first friend's choices Immensely). My character is conflicted between their wish to keep their friends and remaining family safe vs their persisting love of nature. And oh yeah, there's this new hotshot military guy that they just wanna make eat shit ALLLLLLL the time. Gotta train and be the best so that SOMEONE can show him up. They're absolutely thriving on being able to beat him in Anything martial. Which is perhaps a childish drive, but they're still only 15 where I'm at, So.

AND AT THE SAME TIME..........

They're childhood best friends with the local emo kid, who wants so badly to not be trapped here. He wants to be Free! In Nature! But he's also so very depressed For Reasons lol. So it turns into him trying to just walk out into the wilds without a care bc he doesn't care if he dies. And here's my character, falling in love with him (& he very much is with them, too) just trying to figure out what the Fuck they can do to help him. He straight up tried to run away at one point, I full on had a moment of "Oh god is this what naruto felt like when sasuke left?!?!" But he ended up caught lol. So he's still here. And still being Difficult despite my character having expressed that they care about him in a way that's Different than just friends. And so of course emo boy emotionally distances himself, bc what else would he do???? But since I'm playing a teenager and Well there's some new teens in town (one of which being the stupid military guy, who my character kinda just wants to punch). And one of them is very flirty and he invited my character to kiss over a card came, & that petty teenage soul angry about their childhood best friend/potential boyfriend being so DIFFICULT decides. Fuck it! Imma kiss him. And so they do lol.

But it didn't make the feelings go away and emo boy doesn't Know and if he did. Well. It's not like they're dating. Any of them, really. It was a stupid kiss between stupid teenagers, so it literally doesn't matter, but they kinda Do feel a little bit guilty about it.

But in the end, they're throwing themselves into their training with all their might bc the next attack is approaching and the last one went SO MONUMENTALLY WRONG that they just HAVE to be at the absolute strongest they can be. None of this matters in the face of their loved ones being at risk. They're 15 years old, they've watched so many people die, and they're not going to let stupid teenage drama get in the way of them protecting the people they DO have left! Including said stupid teenage boy, even if he is being dumb about it.

I'd say I'm like halfway through the game by this point. So very excited to see where it ends up. It's so fucking GOOOOOOOOD and yes it IS very gay and trans. You can change ur character's presentation and pronouns at any point. Effectively genderfluid, tho I'm keeping it on the nonbinary option of course. Also none of this teen drama even matters bc u can be poly in this game lol (which I am SO excited about) but it's fun rping a teen as a teen would be.

I haven't even met the immortal goth yet. Good chance I'll end up dating the goth And the emo. Should they both be open to the idea lol. And wouldn't that be just like me to do