#im sorry this place is so dead i still wanna do stuff

[hcsiqs]

soooo like mayhaps kate x dancer reader? :D

| we both still young

• paring: kate martin x dancer!reader

• summary: head cannons of kate with a dancer gf

• warnings: none i think

• hope this is alright! - i’m not a dancer so if this is wrong im so sorry

she always brings you flowers after a performance

“You did so good baby!” the blonde smiles running over to you. You’re still dressed in your costume as you had just gotten off stage.

“Thank you!” you smile brightly while looking up at her towering over you. Your eyes then move down to the bouquet of your favorite flowers in her hands, “You didn’t have to you”

“Come on, you knew I was gonna,” she giggles handing them over to you, and you immediately inhale the familiar scent.

she loves the red lipstick that you have to wear

You placed a kiss on Kate’s cheek as the two of you walked to your car after Iowa’s game, but immediately realized that there was a bright red mark of your lips contrasting against her skin. “Oh my God! I forgot I had lipstick on!” you apologized attempting to rub off the stain. But Kate just kept pulling away, never allowing you to rub it off.

“No I like it,” she pulls her face away once more before using her hand to cover up the mark so you couldn’t try to wipe it off.

“Kate,” you say looking up at her as you lean your back against the door of the car.

Her hands then found your hips as she placed a kiss against your scarlet lips, the color transferring over to her own. “Everyone gets to know I’m yours”

she’s likes to sit and watch you practice anytime she gets the chance

loves watching how happy dancing makes you

she wishes that she didn’t have to be in the locker room during half time so that she could watch you perform

has snuck out early during to come watch you perform during halftime

“You looked really good performing tonight,” she whispered to you as her hand found its home on the small of your back.

“Thank y—wait! How did you see?” you connected the dots and stopped in your spot to look up at her. She just shrugged her shoulders and did the movement of zipping her lips, “Kate! Bludder is gonna have your ass!”

if you do ballet she is 1000% buying your shoes even if you tell her not to because they’re so expensive

“But you were saying how dead your shoes were!” the blonde exclaims trying to place the brand new pair in your hands.

“You didn’t need to buy me new ones. They’re expensive, I don’t want you spending your money on me,” you pouted, crossing your arms.

“But I wanna spend my money on stuff that makes you happy!”

so many photos of you in your iowa dance uniform and her in her basketball one

when you go to college dance nationals you just know she bought varsity tv and was watching it live

called you immediately when she found out the iowa dance team made it to semi finals for y’all’s jazz routine

loves watching you practice choreography in your guys apartment

will beg you to show her any solo you’re working on

thinks it’s so cool how how you can do like five turns in a row

you tried teaching her how to do turns but bbg did not understand the concept of spotting for the life of her

cried when you called her and told her you guys made it to finals for your pom routine

“Kate!” you exclaimed into the phone as she soon as she answered.

“What’s up baby?”

“We made it to finals in pom!” you cheered over the phone, your team erupting into cheers in the background.

“Holy shit! I’m so proud of you,” she beamed, tears forming in her eyes, “I’m literally tearing up”

“Shut up, no you’re not,” you denied shaking your head, even though she couldn’t see, but still had the biggest smile on your face.

“Yes I am!” she replied before snapping a picture and sending it to you.

made the entire team watch your finals performance and was cheering you on the entire time

was so sad when she couldn’t make it to florida to go to nationals with you

“I’ll just tell them I can’t play games during January!” the blonde shrugged plopping down on the couch after you had gotten a bid to nationals for all your routines.

“Baby I love you, but you can’t do that,” you shook your head laughing.

“But I wanna go!” she whined, her hands gripping your hips as you stood in front of her. “Disney together would be fun you can’t lie”

“Well if we make it to finals we probably wouldn’t have much time for Disney”

“When you make it,” she corrected.

all of your lyrical dances bring her to literal tears

when you took her to yours for the holidays she definitely made you show her all of your dance costumes from when you started until high school

shocked that you can do a chartwheel with no hands (an aerial) because she can’t even do one with hands

allie’s corner

i’m praying this is ok😭 im a cheerleader not dancer but if you want more dancer x kate i do have a wp book where the oc dances for the iowa dance team

[ell-does-stuff]

MAKING A BIG OL POST OF EVERYTHING I GOTTA SAY ABOUT THE NEW SPOOKY MONTH BECAUSE HOLY SHITTTT THERES A LOT

‼️‼️SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY‼️‼️

THE THIEVES ARE BACK WOOOOOOOO!! IVE MISSED THEM SM

also eepy lila

while gathering images for this ive noticed that the "pile of dexter" as im calling it is staring at the thieves the whole time they're in the attic (specifically fat thief)

is he somehow still alive???? just possessing a pile of dead doll????????

so cool to see the big ass spider get some actual relevance!! def gonna be important next episode for sure

ROSS'S DAD!!!!!!!!

also jaune is so pretty with her hair down like omggg... love to see her being such a supportive friend to lila as well

"are you throwing away dad's stuff mom?" WAAAAAA MY POOR BABYYY IM GONNA CRYYY

HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN

theyre so me

DEXTERRRRJRJRJRHSHSHDBBDBSB!!+!!!!!(!!

"this cat looks sick im taking it to the vet" BULLSHIT i know what you are. 👁️👁️

DEXTER'S MOM!?!?????!?!?!?!?!!!??? i had no idea she would ever show up like wow i did not expect to see her at all

poor little babies and their lack of parents

ok sorry ik im joking here but MAN this scene made me feel bad 😭😭😭

THE FUCK.

pretty sure this dude is the same guy as the "costume bob" in the last episode??? i felt bad for him last time but here he seems like kind of a pathetic and weird ass man ngl lol

RADFORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!(!!(;+;!;(;;(;??;(;;!!(+!!++!(++!

HES SUCH A GOD DAMN SILLY NERD MAN LIKEEEEE "he even sounds like he does in the movies!!!!!!" BROOOO I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMM DJJDGWHDHSHFH

he is EXACTLY how i pictured he would be!! my brain is not gonna shut up about him for the next few days i just know it HAHAHAH

also my caramelpopcorn (thats their ship name right?? or was it candycorn??? i forgor lol) heart is completely full, i loved actually seeing him and kevin canonically interact, they are perfect <3

HES IN THE CANDY CLUB OUTFIRTBD RJSHNF EBDJFBSBDJC EJDUFBEBW DKXN SCUEBFNFBRJSJCJCHDB!!!!(!!!!!;+;(;!!(+!!

"im... uh... like an uncle!!" "i just wanna help the children..." BROO??? feeling kinda bad for frank rn, these are like the only kids he genuinely cares about and hes being turned away from em

ik hes a shady guy but STILL

GREGOR LOOKS SO GOOFY DOING THE DANCE JDBDHSHFHD LIKE WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THATTTTT

also i made this gif myself yall better like it

aaaaaaaaaand dexter's mom is dead.

like son like mother i guess 💀

love how ignacio's door has small little boards on it from when they bashed it with a hammer HAHAHHA

also, looking at the inside of ignacio's house, is that john's family on the little table there???

one of the images in the arg gives a better look at this, but i had no idea it was in IGNACIO'S HOUSE of all places. why does he have that??? and right by the gun too.... what is this silly cult man planning......

(the arg image in question if yall were wondering)

"we understand you" "we're here for you dude" "thank you guys, i just wish things weren't so..." HATZGANG FRIENDSHIP WAAAAA!!!!!

also ROY HAS BEEN THROUGH SHIT MY POOR GUYYYY i wanna hug him mannnn 🥺

IMAGE LIMIT IS KILLING ME SO IM GONNA REBLOG THIS WITH MORE SHIT TO SAY BECAUSE I AM NOT DONE MANNN‼️‼️‼️‼️

[collapsedglasshouses]

HEAVEN KNOWS I AIN'T GETTING OVER YOU || Joakim Karlsson x fem!Reader

picture found on pinterest

PAIRING: ex-husband!Jolly x fem!reader

SUMMARY: When Jolly visits you unannounced on a Tuesday night, you have no idea what it leads to.

WARNINGS: SMUT [oral sex, female receiving; unprotected p in v], possessive!jolly, ANGST, jolly and reader have a daughter together (y/d/n), MDNI, 18+

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 (If you wanna be added to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!)

A/N: i wrote this in one sitting and i'm so proud of it that i can't hide it for one second longer. i hope you like it! also this isn't proofread, im very sorry ._.

MASTERLIST

[y/d/n = your daughter’s name]

You thought the hardest thing you had ever done in your entire life was the process of deciding to file for divorce from your ex-husband Jolly, but he had proven you wrong. It was that he had signed the papers without an argument or fight. He had just done it.

It had stung, how he came back from a long tour, saw the papers laying on the kitchen counter and just signed them. It hurt but you also knew it was for the best. That he didn’t fight with you was hard, but it also made it in some ironic way easier.

Since you had a daughter together, he came over only on the weekends when he was home from touring and normally, he’d only pick up your daughter and leave again; not really much conversation going on between you except the necessary small talk. He was a good father and human after all, and you were glad for that.

After some time, routine came back and somewhat everything began to feel normal again. You began to date again, and Jolly seemed to live his life to the fullest. You were happy for him.

That changed when your doorbell rang on a Tuesday evening. You were sitting on the couch watching TV when you heard the sound and for the first couple of seconds you thought about not opening the door. After all, it was almost 8 PM and you were kind of scared there would be someone trying to break in or hurt you, but when it rang again you became curious.

“Joakim?” You asked surprised when you saw him standing there.

“Is it true?” He just asked and looked you dead in the eye.

“What?” You answered him confused. He looked like he hadn’t slept properly since he brought back your daughter two days ago.

“On the weekend, y/d/n said you were seeing someone.” He asked, his tone careful, yet you could sense some sort of hurt in his voice.

“Do you maybe wanna come in before you confront me about stuff that hasn’t got anything to do with you?” You grumbled at him in a sarcastic tone, which he ignored while stepping into the place you once called home together.

He walked into the living room, followed by you. There he crossed his arms in front of your chest and looked at you, disappointed.

“What do you want to here, Joakim? I don’t remember that we agreed to be abstinent for the rest of our lives.” You snarled at him and mirrored is gesture.

“Don’t you think it still hurts that I hear that from our daughter instead of you?” He responded in the same tone.

“I don’t know why you suddenly seemed to care.” You grumbled. “Since you didn’t show any interest in me for… how long is it now? One and a half years?”

“You didn’t even let me explain myself and threw the divorce papers at me. How do you think I feel?” He angrily expressed.

“I don’t even need to tell you this, but there is no other guy. I went on two dates. TWO dates, Jolly.” You answered him while ignoring how his statement stung. You knew it had been egoistic of you, but the months before the divorce, he either wasn’t at home or when he was, he didn’t even look at you. You felt unimportant, unloved, neglected. And now he was throwing around these statements. You wished he had done it earlier. You wished he would have opened up to you. The fact that he only did it because he saw the potential danger of another person in your life, hurt you so much.

Jolly took a deep breath. “I feel like we never even talked about this whole separation.”

“You were the one who didn’t ask when I handed you the papers, Joakim.” You said, your tone a lot calmer than it had been before but you still were angry. You were glad that your daughter was having a sleepover at a friend's house that night, otherwise she would have already been downstairs.

When Jolly didn’t say anything for another solid minute, you sighed.

“Don’t you think it is a bit too late to talk now?” You mumbled defeated and ran a hand through your hair. “I hope you know that I didn’t do that to hurt you. We both know it would have ended way uglier if we dragged it out longer than it already had been.”

You saw how Jolly swallowed hard.

“You know I still love you?” He almost whispered and let his hands fall to his sides. When you looked at him like that, he almost looked broken… defeated. For the first time since what felt like ages, you felt like he let his guard down. Like he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings away.

“I know, Jolly.” You answered him. “And I also know that a part of me still loves you and always will, but we both know that this isn’t going to work. At least not like this.”

He slowly took a step towards you, carefully watching your reaction. When you didn’t look reluctant or took a step back, he reached for your hand and grabbed it.

“I am so sorry that all of this happened. I thought about everything that had happened. Long before the divorce. I know how cruel I was to leave you in the dark. To not talk to you when I needed nothing but your comfort. I thought that I would get through everything by myself.” He told you with honesty in his voice.

“You didn’t have to go through everything alone. That is what a marriage is for, Jolly. I would have been more than happy to help you. I still am if you need me.” You whispered out and looked into the eyes of the man you had and still loved so dearly, and you felt how your heart hurt.

“I always need you, y/n. I need you so bad.” Jolly responded and you saw how his eyes became glossy. Without even thinking you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. You felt how tears started to form in your eyes and it broke your heart when you heard him sniffle for a second.

When you leaned back to look at him, there was this foolish hope in your heart. The hope that you would be able to find back to each other. But your brain knew, even if you did eventually manage to do that, now was not the right time for it.

“Can I kiss you?” Jolly asked and you felt warmth form in your stomach. You knew you should have said no. You knew you should have been strong, but you still nodded.

Your lips met with a ferocity born from years of unspoken words and yearning. The taste of his mouth a bittersweet reminder of everything you had lost.

It felt like you kissed for an eternity and still, when you pulled away, it felt like it wasn’t long enough. You missed him. You missed everything about him, from his small jokes to the way it felt when you fell asleep next to him. He was what made this house a home.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered against his lips, and he nodded. Before he could even think about letting you go, you pressed your lips against his for a second kiss. This one being much more eager than the previous one.

Slowly but surely, you stumbled towards the couch and soon you were laying under him, lips still connected as if life depended on it. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss.

It didn’t take long until his fingers curled into the waistband of your shorts and panties. For a second, he leaned back to look for consent in your eyes. When you eagerly nodded, he tugged them down your legs.

He kissed you deeply before lowering himself down your body. You shivered when you felt his breath against your core and not even a second later you felt his warm tongue sliding through your folds. He drew skillful circles around your clit. A wave of warmth washed over you as you moaned out his name and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. You had missed him so much.

Your hand reached for his and he was quick to intertwine your fingers. Your nails pressed into the skin on his hand as your back arched in pleasure.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He pleaded as he raised his head for a second to look at you through his lashed and you felt like you could come on the spot.

“I’m yours, Joakim. I always will be.” You whimpered out and it was all he needed to hear as his head lowered again.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the waves of your orgasm washing over you, as you screamed out his name. Your vision blurred for a second as you came on his tongue. He kissed the inside of your thighs until you slowly came down from your high, before he came up to look at you again.

You grabbed his face and kissed him with such force, he feared to collapsed right on the spot. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the feeling of the fabric of his jeans against your naked cunt made you shiver in overstimulation.

In a swift motion, he turned you on your stomach and you heard how he unzipped his pants. The next thing you felt was hot kisses pressed to the back of your neck and you sighed in need. You needed to feel him, even if it was the last time.

“Do you have a condom?” He groaned into your ear.

“You don’t need one, Joakim. I’m clean and on the pill.” – “Got it.”

You clenched your fists into the fabric of the couch as you felt him enter you. A delicate burn formed inside of you as he stretched your walls. He was gentle but still you let out a small yelp as he bottomed out in one stroke. The small groan that escaped from Jolly’s lips, let you clench around him for a moment.

“God.” He moaned. “I wish I could stay inside of you forever.”

You moaned as a response.

“I’ll make you mine, even if it’s the last time.” He groaned as he slung an arm around your torso, making you slightly sit on him as he thrusted into you.

“I’ll be yours.” You whimpered and reached behind you to grab onto his hair. You moved in a rhythm as you felt the knot tighten in your stomach for a second time. One of Jolly’s hands travelled between your thighs and began to rub small circles on your wet clit.

“God, Jolly. I’m gonna come.” You almost screamed out.

“I’ve got you.” He breathed out as you felt the intense sensation of your second orgasm rolling over you. You felt how your body slowly lost strength, but you held yourself together for him.

You fell forward, leaning on your elbows as his hands grabbed your hips. Shortly after that you felt how he was twitching inside of you and he let out a loud groan as he finished inside of you, his cum filling you up until it began to drip. He grabbed the armrest of the couch in front of you to not let his weight drop on you as he mumbled out small love confessions.

For a couple of moments, neither of you dared to move. He peppered your shoulder with small kisses while you both tried to tame your breaths. Even though, you both didn’t want to, he eventually pulled out of you and got up, as you slowly laid down on your back.

After a minute or so he reappeared with a washcloth and gently cleaned you up, before helping you up from the couch and to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

After you finished and came back to the living room, he handed you your clothes and you both got fully dressed again, before looking at each other in awkward silence.

You knew what he was going to say, before he could even finish.

“Maybe, I should-…” – “Stay.”

He blinked a couple of times as his eyes lit up.

“Y/d/n isn’t coming back until tomorrow after school. You can stay.” You almost whispered and hoped he wouldn’t leave you in that state. “I want you to stay.”

“Okay.” He muttered and nodded slightly. “I will.”

As the two of you sat down on the couch, a wave of guilt washed over you. This was a forbidden taste of the past that only solidified the painful truth. You were bound by a love that could never be, at least not now…

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[thatoneandlonelyemo2005]

Based on this post and @make-friends-with-the-rats (for the idea) i have made this little fic. Will say some places i feel are out of character but i tried so hard, also focused more on blush than anything and I don't know how that happend and this was supposed to be about David and Mush.

Maybe I'll come back to it one day to fix it. Or write something new but for now have the queer boys.

-

Mush was tried. More tired than he had ever been when selling. Sure he was ready to fight for the price of papes but he still felt tired. After Crutchy got taken he started to feel the rage. But he knew he couldn't. Especially after Kid Blink had come to him with torn knuckles and his cheek beginning to bruise. Mush only sighed and hugged him. He opened his eyes and looked around at the lodge, everyone taking care of each other. Jack was nowhere to be seen, yet he saw David walk up the stairs. Fire escape.

"You hurt Nick?" Blink asked, more worried about him than his own self.

Mush mumbled a 'no' while snapping back into reality. Sure his hands hurt and maybe his lip was split but nothing was worse than Blink. Taking him to the bathroom Mush held onto his hand lightly. As if it was their normal nights. Which it was. Even when they weren't having a strike, Kid Blink loved his fights.

Mush grabbed the wound wash and bandages as Blink sat on the counter. Now looking into his eye Mush sighed deeply. Pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ya know David told you to back off."

Kid Blink instantly glared, "Yeah well-"

"Louis I don't need you dead." Mush closed his eyes, he could take the fights. He really could. But not this one. "They had chains, Louis. Knives with other sharp stuff-you just-"

"Nick, look at me." Blink held his face, "I know what David told me okay, but when Jack-"

"That's another thing!" Even Mush flinched back at his sudden yell. "You Skittery, and Jack just go in without thinking. Especially when there is someone in the crowd who loves you, Louis."

Blink hopped off the counter. His face now started to get red out of anger. "Loves me? Nick, you don't think I'm doing the same thing? Trying to protect your ass. I'd rather get all broken than have you laying dead in the streets."

Mush stopped. He didn't know what to do. He never thought of it that way. "Then the point still stands."

"That don't make no sense." Blink put a hand on his hip, the other running through his hair. "Nick you fought too-"

"So? Whens a guy comin' up to ya-"

"Then you punch them like me." The bathroom went silent. He was right. Both were right in a way. The stress was getting to them. Any of them. Not just himself and Blink. Everyone started to get snippy with each other. Leading to stupid fights. Like this one.

"Blink, I-im sorry." Mush hugged himself, head hung in shame.

Blink walked forward and lifted his chin up, "Don't be sorry Mush. Okay. Just a lot ya know."

Mush nodded and felt tears ready to fall from his eyes, "I just don't wanna lose ya, Louis."

Leaning in Kid Blink kissed him softly yet full of meaning. "You won't Nick. Trust me okay." "Okay," Mush whispered. He held onto him tightly

Blink smiled into his neck, "Come on Nicky, I still need a doctor."

"Shut up." Mush rolled his eyes and broke the hug. He wanted to hug again. Wanted to hold him forever.

Kid Blink kissed his cheek and sat on the counter. Holding out his hands like always. "Mush Myers I love you."

Mush giggled and felt his cheeks heat up, "Louis Ballittie I love you too."

David looked around at the streets. They were full of newsies. All jumping about, ready for Tibbys. But something was eating at him. Especially when he saw Jack and Kid Blink play fighting. He sighed deeply. No one seemed to listen to him.

"David!" Maybe one did. "Hey Mush." Mush gave him a side hug, "I wanted to talk to you about something. Been on my mind ya know."

"Sure Mush, what is it?" Although he instantly felt better. Especially when Mush was around him. He was his friend after all.

Mush let his shoulders drop and his face frowned slightly, "Look Dave, I've been thinking what you said, about not fighting the scabs."

David raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

Mush looked towards Kid Blink and Jack, "I think it's getting too violent."

'FINALLY' David screamed inside his head. "Yeah I'd say so but wheres this coming from Mush? Didn't you punch a guy-"

"YES, I punched a guy. But David." He looked to Blink again. "I'm just worried okay. I don't know what to do."

David followed his gaze and now saw Blink and Jack laughing rather than their play fight they had. "I don't know either Mush."

They fell silent. Mostly watching the others as they still continued to Tibbys. Mush was frowning. Not like he didn't you just don't really see that. Or at least David didn't. But he was right. They shouldn't be fighting but they are. Everyone was at fault really. David could only take it in and analyze it to no end. He never slept anyways. Why start now

"Look Dave, I just-well, I care about someone a lot and-"

"It's alright Mush I know what you mean." He smiled softly at him.

Mush's eyes widen but David nudge his shoulder to make him not panic. "Trust me Mush, alright."

Mush nodded and looked up at the sun. A hand over his eyes but enough to see it bright and hot as ever. Turning back to David he smirked, "Have you've kissed Jack yet?"

David's face turned red. "No!" But he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. Mush only laughed. "He's just stupid."

"Yeah, he is." Mush laughed again. "Still Dave, im worried about it getting too violent. I can patch up Blink's wounds over and over again but I don't need to see him dead.

Dead. What a word. He repeated in his head till he saw Jacks's body. Bloody and beaten. He hated it. Squeezing his eyes shut he prayed nothing would happen like that. To anyone. Not just Jack. But his friends. He would always worry about them. "They're not listing to me Mush. What else can I do."

"Tell Jack?" Mush said as if it was so simple.

David shook his head. He brings a finger to his mouth and chews on the skin around the fingernail. "Still too stupid."

Mush sighed. "Maybe he is. But." He faced David and took his finger gently away from his mouth. "Both of our boys are stupid and we still love them."

David eyes widen. Love was another funny word to him. Never really used it before besides for family. Looking at Jack and his stupid hair, stupid eyes, and stupid cowboy hat with is bandanna. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

"David. We gotta keep trying okay. We'll win the strike then everything can go back to normal."

Normal. Would that mean school again? He hated that word. He knew that much. "I-i'll talk to Jack. Or try too."

Mush gave another smile but it was big, showing all his teeth. "Just give him a kiss. It makes everything seem better."

David glared but did feel his cheeks redden. Maybe he would kiss Jack. That could fix the strike. Or he hoped.

[tossball-stick]

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 

he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

[februaryflowers]

cherry sugar lip scrub

order up: a honey bubble tea with cheese foam and seungcheol for anon ! 

a fluff neighbor/roommate friends to lovers

check out the (now closed) carat writers club summer fair event!

warnings: cheese perhaps, kissing, not proofread im sorry 😭

fluff, 670 words, seungcheol x reader

a/n: inspired by my own lip scrub exfoliator thing LOL 

“What’re you doing?” 

The voice makes you jump, the bathroom having been silent just before, but you smile knowing that all is well. Nothing could possibly happen to you when Seungcheol is home. 

“Y’know how it’s been dry lately?” you ask, rubbing the smooth stick in circular motions over your lips once more.

“Yeah…”

“So my lips are kinda going through it. I’m just tryna get rid of all the dead skin and stuff.”

He hums, watching as you pucker your lips in the mirror, a lump forming in his throat. So…does that mean…your lips taste…like whatever flavor that thing is in? 

Shaking his head, he tries to steel his nerves. Roommates let alone friends shouldn’t have those kinds of thoughts about other roommates, let alone friends. But he can’t help the little jump his heart does when you glance back in his direction.

“Do you wanna try it?” you ask, holding it out to him. 

“W-wha—would that be okay?” He scratches the back of his neck, his eyes trained on the other self care products you have out on the counter. “I don’t wanna intrude…”

“You could never, Cheol,” you tease, coming over to push his shoulder lightly and hand him the lip exfoliator. 

He follows you back to the spot at the sink, staring at his reflection in front of him. With you now resuming your routine, he glances at you. How did you do it? Do you just—

He starts swiping it across his mouth, the sugar crystals stuck in the wax. Even if he’s not quite sure on what he’s supposed to be doing, he knows this doesn’t feel right. Squinting at the tube, he turns it around in his hands, trying to find some instructions.

But before he can come up empty handed and sigh, you take it from his fingers. Your hands land on his shoulders and spin him around to face you, his face wide eyed and a faint pink blush starting to color his cheeks.

“Y/n—”

“Uh uh uh,” you coo, gently pushing his jaw closed. “Pout for me?”

He does as you say before you start applying the scrub in the same way you’d done a couple minutes ago. With the sweet crumbs now sitting pretty on his lips and the soft cherry scent of the wax now wafting into his nose, he closes his eyes. Is this what you taste like? Is this what it would be like to kiss you? 

He darts his tongue out to taste the balm, instantly met with the saccharine flavor of artificial cherry. But, even though you still haven’t finished, he doesn’t think his mouth has ever felt this soft before. That knowledge certainly doesn’t help his fantasies about kissing you. 

“All done!” you exclaim, pulling away to admire your handiwork as his eyes spring open. “You can rinse off the sugar. Whaddya think?”

He turns on the faucet, running water under his fingers and rubbing it against his lips. 

“S-soft,” he murmurs. 

“Right! Isn’t it nice? I can’t believe I got this for like five dollars. Such a steal.”

But before you can return to the counter and finish your self care regimen, Seungcheol tugs on your hand, turning you to face him. Opening his mouth, he quickly closes it when surprise flashes behind your eyes.

“Oh I forgot!” You rummage through the cabinet before you pull out another balm product. “You can put this on after too.” Taking off the cap, you quickly run it on your lips and hold it out to him. “Just like that. Do you wanna try?”

However his lips are on yours before you can even blink, your body frozen from his warmth being so close to you. 

“It’s good,” he whispers, pulling away to rest his forehead against you all too soon.

Exhaling, you try to steady your heart as you place the product on the counter and move your hands to his back with a few pats. “I think you should try that again.”

[bratbby333]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ blog update ! ] ࿐ྂ

+ some housekeeping and info on new writing

hello my loves !! i wanted to give y'all some insight on what's been going on in my mind palace lately. there's a lot...so...cmon, take a walk w me...and maybe bring some snacks.

ੈ♡˳ first and foremost ! my work has received a lot more attention recently and i am so excited. with actual tears in my eyes, im happy to report that i surpassed 1,000 followers the other day. i am at a loss for words...just...stuck in a perma-state of disbelief.

im sending out the biggest thank you to everyone who has supported me, who's interacted with my work, to the lovely friends ive made though this account and to the heartbreakingly beautiful anime that brought me here in the first place. i am genuinely in awe...overwhelmed, even...i didn't expect any of this to happen when i started this blog and i am forever indebted to all of you for getting me here. im actively fighting off the inevitable surge of imposter syndrome as i type this out...i just love y'all so fucking much. this community means the world to me and i wanna scream at the top of my lungs in order to demonstrate my deepest appreciation for each and every one of y'all.

ੈ♡˳ secondly ! a message for my little angel babies, my day one followers; thank you for taking a chance on me. for watching me grow. for sticking around as i worked to get better at writing. im sure a lot of you started following me for my gamer!bf sukuna series...trust me, i love him and i know y'all do too. but i feel like my writing is heading in a different direction...and with a heavy heart, i'm absolutely gutted when i say that i am taking a pause on that series. i am forever grateful for the support and may return to him soon, though i cannot promise that. i owe so much of what my account is now to that series and i will never forget that.

for everyone who joined me as i delved into dark/dead dove content, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me a safe space to explore different forms of story-telling. my choso fic was the first stepping stone and then i skipped every other stone on the path and jumped head first into the deep end with my dead dove gojo fic...i deeply appreciate all the positive feedback i received on both of those. after posting them, i realized that i am very into writing dark content. i know that taboo themes/dark content/dead dove subject matter isn't for everyone and i understand people's apprehension in regards to it. but with that being said, i will be moving forward with publishing darker content.

ੈ♡˳ so here's the writing update !

i did a poll asking y'all what kind of content you enjoy. a good chunk of people said long form fics (which is great, cause i do too !! mommy needs plot). so, i am migrating away from one shot writing. both because i've been thinking about it for awhile and because y'all are into longer stories, as well. but fear not, i will still write shorter stuff along with headcannons, drabbles, etc...it just won't be the main focus of my blog anymore.

ੈ♡˳ now, time for the big reveal ! perhaps it's a bit anticlimactic, but bear with me...

im so excited to announce that i have two new series coming ! it will be a dark, modern!au featuring choso (with a few other special guests) and a dead dove sukuna series.

i'm almost finished with the outlines, and have fully completed the theme layout + mood boards for both works. i hope to get the first few chapters wrapped up in the next couple weeks. if you want to be tagged in either of these (or both), just leave a comment or send me a message !

(also !! i may or may not be cooking up a dark medieval au series in collaboration with another writer on here...so be on the lookout for that hehe)

while i take breaks from writing my two series, i'll be working through my requests ! so if you've sent one in, i promise i will get to it, unless i literally cannot think of a good way to write it (im only human, im so sorry). also, im sure we already knew this, but im a slowww writer. i wish i could churn content out quick as fuck but i am too hypercritical of myself…it's both a blessing and a curse, honestly.

if you made it all the way to the end of this nightmare of a brain dump, i love you. if you've been with me for a while, i love you. if you're just now joining me, i love you. everyone who’s supported me in any way, shape, or form, i love you.

i present you with the sloppiest kiss with tongue (only if you want it, of course. i can also give you the tightest hug, the gentlest head pat, or my social security number...access to all my bank accounts? a mansion in the hills? my passport? hand in marriage? my first born child? literally whatever you want, babe).

okay !! i think that's all for the updates. feeling: very ambitious and motivated but also overwhelmed and mildly stressed but overall super excited for what's to come. im looking forward to this new adventure and i hope y'all come along with me ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

thank you again…for literally everything. yall hold a special place in my heart and always will. so, here we go !

see you on the other side, my loves.

— jade 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

[redstrawbluestraw]

I woke up in the middle of the night and now its your problem

Is the cel city suppoust to be a refrence to animation cels?

seeing felix is back to his og annoying self (we love you toxic king welcome back) I wanna ask if he's still a journalist/writer or if he's the unemployed friend at wendsday in the last call?

Oswald doesnt seem as depressed in your ver (thank you thank you thank you thank you i would not take well a total whiplash of his character randomly) so I gotta ask AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWEAR if ortensias still dead in here or if oswalds just single as in he and her didnt ever/seriously get together?

Also I wanted to ask if mickey has any dynamic with either felix or sheba bc bc funny bc you get it? can and a mouse yea

Have a good one o/ love ur stuff 🫶

INFERNOOOOOOO HIHI HI ITS ALWAYS A BLESSING TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!!! <3333

IM SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER THIS SOONER FINALS WEEK WAS CRAZY But anyways let’s get cookin

1. YES ABSOLUTELY IT IS!!!! I’m hoping to have other puns for future cities and places heehee, but I’m so happy somebody noticed it!!!! <333 Cel City is essentially where “every” toon lives, so anywhere from bg toons, to toons that were drawn once or twice, or toons that aren’t relevant, hence Cel City!

2. As much as him being the unemployed friend on a Wednesday would be funny as fuck (reread this so many times it made my day fr) unfortunately I did make him employed. He’s still a writer, and still an archaeologist! Just bc Anthro is a huge passion of mine, and my favorite parts in the og babqftim were always whenever Felix locked in and used his knowledge. Wish there was more of that instead of ykno

Anyways, It’ll be explained more why he went down that path, but ultimately he’s still an annoying ass friend lol

Exhibit A (this doodle was done forever ago hence why it’s so ugly SORRY 😭😭)

3. I’ll leave this one kinda vague cause I don’t wanna spoil too much but first of all, totally agree, it pissed me off hella how he acted 😭😭

Ortensia and Oswald were married, madly in love but she did pass due to reasons. Oswald in turn processed his feelings a lot more aggressively than the og babqftim. While he is depressed, it’s definitely not going to be portrayed in the ways that we saw. Less nonverbal, more defensive and overly paranoid. He’s protective towards those he cares about and his walls are too high up for anybody to break them (doesn’t stop Felix from trying tho)

4. Mickey and Felix go waaaaay back!!!! They get along almost too well for a cat and a mouse!!

They get into all sorts of trouble, Mickey hates to admit it but he doesn’t get the hate Oswald has towards the guy. They both are their biggest fans, Felix has a soft spot for Mickey

For Sheba I like to think she teases him a lot, and Mickey is too nice and polite to tell her something. She’ll say something about eating him alive and Mickey would go “Oh! Well… golly, I can’t imagine I’d taste good!”

TYSM FOR YOUR ASK INFERNO THIS LEGIT MADE ME SMILE SO WIDE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING GOOD!!!!!! <333333

[bylersboy]

intro post (finally)

ive debated making an intro post because first off ive been on tumblr for two years and I never got around to it and secondly I am really really horrible at talking about myself because what is to much info and what it to little info and the cycle continues but im giving it a shot because I feel like my mutuals have no idea who I am lmao

HAI my name is Charlie im 15 (18+ I dont mind if you follow me but please dont dm me thank you :]) I use jasper as an online name kind of (at this point its just reserved for my best friend ace but I dont mind if other people call me jasper since I still love the name)

my pronouns are he/him but im also perfectly comfortable with common neopronouns (it/its xey/xem) if you wanna get funky with it.

im a self diagnosed autistic and ARFID (if you dont know what that is its an eating disorder where certain factors make you avoidant and restrictive of the food you eat and it has nothing to do with physical appearance. for me its linked to my autistic sensory issues(ALSO OCD NOW?!!? WHAT THE FUCK?!!?)) I have depression and anxiety and the only reason I mention this is because I relate my mental health to my fav characters in tv shows and books and stuff so if you see me posting about them like everything is connected lol

(my a03 is ghostwithfeet if you want to see me be silly and project my weird life onto fictional characters (I am the most inconsistent updater in the world please expect nothing from me if you even ask about a project it will scare me and like I turtle I will crawl into my shell never to see the light of day again))

my interests really vary about current hyperfixations but heres the master list

current hyperfixs

stranger things specifically Byler but mostly mike wheeler (this has turned into a special interest(I DO NOT support Noah schnapp or another of the other cast members who are in support of the inhumane actions the Israel government are doing. I am pro saving innocent civilians. I know that this can be controversial to be such a big fan of this show and honestly I have a lot of complex feelings on the matter but im autistic as previously mentioned and its my special interest and It won't leave my brain even if im not directly interacting with the media so im gonna yap about it on my blog thank you.))

also just Finn wolf hard for some reason (check out his band the Aubreys its awesome. also check out a recent movie he was in called when you finished Saving the world. it means a lot to me)

donna tarts the goldfinch book

old special interests/hyperfixs

the percy Jackson universe specifically nico di Angelo

the IT universe specifically reddie and Beverly marsh but more leaning towards richie tozier (see what I mean with the Finn wolf hard thing)

dead boy detectives !!

doctor who (I haven't even finished David tenants doctor yet so please no spoilers)

Alice oseman content (never read loveless or iwbft but ive read all of her other stuff)

paper girls graphic novel

other interests

the good place tv show

Kathleen Glasgows book girl in pieces

the walking dead comics including the clementine spin off graphic novels

um yeah thats all I can think of for now

my fav musicians/bands

florence and the machine

indigo de Souza

Kevin Atwater

searows

the Aubreys

sadurn

the cranberries

soccer mommy

runo plum

nep

lala lala

the smiths

hospital bracelet

Chappell roan

AURORA

Madilyn Mei!

Elliot smith

(my music taste is all over the place and is also very seasonal and I have a bunch of underground artists I dont listen to but I am here to give good recs I promise my playlists are fire)

we've gotten to the part of the intro post where im wondering if this is way to much information so sorry if I overshared idk but hope we can be silly mutuals or friends if you want (never be scared to shoot the friendship shot I would love to yap with y'all)

also since this is taking over my other pinned post I just want to put this as an honorary spot and let everyone know that my old pinned post was a quote from radio silence and that Aled last is me and I am him and the February Friday plot line is actually me and it makes me sick how much I resonate with that book

[laithraihan]

Would you be comfortable sharing any personal info (age, profession, relationship status, etc...)? Completely understand if you're not but it's always really interesting learning about the lives of ppl I admire. Again, if that's not something you wanna do it's totally understandable! I love your art!!

Ah thank you so much 🫶 and sure I dont mind sharing some stuff but to be very honest Im not an interesting person, so I'm sorry in advance for disappointing you.

So I'm a woman (or something like that) even though I use a male pen name for art, Im 22 years old, 151cm (4'11"), the eldest daughter who has two teenage siblings who are both taller than me and make fun of me for being short. I do not have a profession and I do not go to school due to a disability I will not disclose. Im a lesbian engaged to a butch, we've been together for almost 4 years (our anniversary is in August)

My favorite season is winter because all the bugs are dead and I despise summer because the bugs are alive. Im also really scared of butterflies for some reason. Im scared of winged bugs in general. Ive never seen a cockroach in my life but I'd probably kill myself if I saw one. I really hate bugs. The winters are harsh here but I like walking outside when theres light snow falling at night. Im also a bit obsessed with Christmas lights but I dont celebrate Christmas, I dont follow any religion in general but my family is Muslim so Ive been raised with that. If I could just put Christmas lights in my room all year then I would do that. They look really pretty.

About my ethnicity I think everyone knows Im Algerian already, well Ive only been to Algeria once when I was like 8 years old so I dont really remember anything. All I know is that my uncle would keep telling my dad that I convinced him to stop smoking and that he's eternally grateful for that but I literally cannot remember what I did or said back then so I just pretended I knew what he was talking about. Anyway. Id like to go there again one day. I most likely will go soon in the future so it makes me happy to think about it.

My first language is French and Im somewhat fluent in English but it needs more work. Whenever I speak English I have to think harder about the words that come out of my mouth and I start saying things that dont make sense. But my pronunciation is good so other people just assume Im fluent. Also I understand Derja (Algerian Arabic) when people talk to me out loud but I cant form sentences and respond back so I just answer people in French. I know how to read Arabic script and I understand basic words but again I cant form sentences. As for Japanese I can only read Hiragana and Katakana and a bit of Kanji, and my understanding of the language is worse than Arabic, so I practice by translating Japanese song lyrics, reading news articles and talking with Japanese users online

Honestly I dunno what else to say, I dont really have any special skills or anything like that. Unless you count memorizing all the metro stations in Montreal but thats only because I had to use public transport all the time when I was a kid because my parents never felt like driving me to my appointments. At that point I probably visited every single station because I had to go to many random places. I dont have a drivers license but I prefer walking to places in general even though there are no stores near my neighborhood, but I think it's better for me because I get to walk more. I think I really like the idea of travelling in general but I dont have friends for that, my parents also wouldnt allow me to hang out with friends so it's a bit unfortunate

Oh and lately Ive been enjoying making eggs for some reason, I think Im good at doing that. But I only cook whenever Im hungry and I rarely feel hungry so I dont cook many eggs. I also dont like cleaning dishes so I avoid making huge meals in general. I dont really eat much in the first place but I still like food. I really like going to restaurants too. I just like going outside in general. I like listening to music and talking with people, normal stuff like that. Im running out of things to say so I'll probably just stop there.

[timothylawrence]

well folks........ weve made it to the end of the line.....

long ass review below...

wowza. okay. gonna start this by saying this'll probably be mostly a review about bridge to the turnabout...!!!!! before i get into anything juicy, i wanna start with the biggest shoutout to my partner in crime and bestie, @katagawajr... literally could not have played this game without her. hats off to the best edgeworth impersonation on the planet. <3

OKAY. TO start. I knew trouble was about when it had to do with the fey clan and channeling of spirits... i could just feel it. i was waiting for it and bam. its like the worst thing that could've happened lmao.

-ahhhhh..... when ive said it before and said it again... the love and friendship everyone has for each other!! are you kidding me!!! phoenix running across a burning bridge and addressing his worst fear ever for Maya!!! Edgeworth immediately hopping on a private chartered jett cus your man friend needs you.... man. so good. and for edgeworth to take the place of pheenie at first..... (also. sorry ill admit some cringe. i cried at the thought of not playing phoenix i was so distressed LMFAOOO i missed himmmm)

-and of course can we forget the best character in this game this franchise the star of every scene in which she presents herselfffff

-dude. the showdown we've been waiting for. the fact she quite literally flew in per miles request. their back and forth. oh my god. ohhh my godddd. oh my god. their back and forth, the way she acts all tough but would do anything miles asks of her (and DOES). easily one of my favorite moments.

-(takes long drag of my cigarette).... oh you two. oh you two. do i die or what. they care about one another so much. its literally so sickening. franziskaaaa milessss can we hug onceeee

GROUP SOBBING SESSION STARTS NOW!!!!!!

-okay skipping ahead a little because if i sit here talking about miles and fran i'll be here all day. um miles and phoenix... yeah you two are tied by the red string of gay fate... the way they constantly check in with either throughout the investigation was so cute to meee sorry.... esp with miles' little panic attack :(. awe. also phoenix wanting to hug miles AWWW

-okay wait i lied jumping back to Franziska for a second I LOVED HER FOLLOWING PHOENIX AROUNDDDD IT WAS SO CUTEEE... im glad she was as involved as she was that is my GIRL.

-ok idk what peoples thoughts on larry are but i think hes fucking funny as hell a lot of the time. love when a character is just useless but funny with it. his little loser shack with Pearl LMFAO (also... he looks like august borderlands so i might be biased- WHO SAID THAT)

-yeah. okay. this is the worst sprite in the history of sprites. genuinely so terrifying. my poor girl. my poor baby. when does she get a break?? she looks genuinely mortified. frozen in fear. quite literally a deer in headlights :( she went through SO MUCH and even her testimony was so heartbreaking. she was so scared and just. just wanted to get away from it all. the way phoenix screams into his hands when Dahlia says that Maya is actually dead. UGHHHHH

group sobbing session neow....

-okay... onto the story.... the actual case itself... im gonna be honest, i was very confused and still am about the whole channeling stuff. it feels like theirs a gap between when maya was in the cave?? and then when she was suddenly out and swapped with iris?? because dahlia wasnt there the whole time?? idk it hurts my head to think about. but i will say something.

i never saw this fucking coming.

-hoooolyyy shit. holy shit. amazed this was never spoiled for me but never ever did i even THINK Godot was responsible till the very end. till it was spelled out. and even then i wasnt fully convinced. holy shit. kudos to the writers again cus i never ever expected him. his story is so fucking heartbreaking. i feel bad for him. but damn. damn. his monologue at the end was so good. the way he goes on about how he wasnt even sure if he did this for the right reasons, that if he did, he would've told Phoenix from the start... (Damn id pay money for that reaction lol). It just... it felt so raw and real. and when he cries. man. man. just sorrow all around. the only time a lawyer can cry is at the end. while he bleeds/cries, the callback to what he told mia. just harrowing and sorrowful.

-okay. okay. the final witness being maya. my god. my god. the anguish. the pain. the way both maya and phoenix know the truth, and the way he knows she's lying and she knows he knows. its just so painful. its so fucking sad. maya knows its fruitless and she knows whats coming because the only person on the whole planet who knows her better than she knows herself is phoenix. its so similar to how in farewell my turnabout, maya was telling him to speak the truth no matter the cost, and now, phoenix was telling that to her.

speak the truth, let it be revealed. as godot and phoenix both said "Once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." no matter how painful. damn

-the connection between maya acting okay for pearls and miles acting okay after dl-6 because someones they cared about would be in pain if they werent... oh miles and franziska... oh miles and franziska... oh i know this next game is gonna hurt....

-maya is the heart of this game, but Mia is the soul. their connection, their love, it was the beginning, the middle, and the end. it all came back to them. and i couldn't have been happier.

-all in all, this whole journey was a BLAST. i had an equal amount of laughs that i did cries, i was surprised, i was puzzled, and i was in awe. genuinely such a good fucking series no wonder it has had a fanbase that spans decades.... my fav episode was definitely farewell, my turnabout, but i enjoyed nearly every episode i played for one reason or another.

I'll miss Maya and Pheenie so much, i already do, but I know i'll have fun doing who knows what with Miles next.

[stxar-pvnk]

I wanna make a fic about runaway Sam who runs away when he's 9/10 because John hits him and the only place he thinks to stay at is bobbys.

They've only met twice and it was brisk and short. Nothing nice. Sam didn't even know if the guy would open the door for him!

But still, he hitchhikes his way to bobbys house exhaustedly making his way to the front door and knocking.

Out comes bobby with a scruffy lookin' beard and a used, weared cap, looking down at a bruised and near dead on his feet kid.

Bobby grabs him by his shirt dragging him in

"Im-im sorry uncle bobby- I just-I didn't have anywhere to go and dad got bad again, but he got bad again to me-" bobby cut the boys rambling off.

He had though that this had been a bad hunt gone wrong but..

"Your daddy did this to you?" Looking at the purple bruise on the boy cheek

Sam looked away horrifyingly embarrassed. Ofcourse bobby wouldn't believe him. John was his friend.

But Sam nodded anyway his lips pulled back in a grimace

"Son of a BITCH! I'm gonna kill that bastard." The older man scowled his knuckles going white from how tight he was holding himself.

"You.. believe me." His voice came out as a whisper

"Course I do. C'mon kid, you look like you could use a nap."

For the next few years (11 to be exact)

Bobby taught Sam everything he knew. Archery, researching, demons,vampires, wearwolves, how to fight (with more parental concern for its use and not just to hunt.)

When Sam had asked when he was 12 to go on a hunt bobby said no.

2 years later anexhausted bobby complied with his wishes and went on their first hunt.

Bobby couldn't be prouder when Sam comes up to him, barely a scratch on him

"See! I-i listened to that trick you taught me and-and I sweeped his leg, dad that was amazing!" Sam beamed like an excited animal

They both stilled in the car

"..oh." Sam looked out the window exceptionally embarrassed by his words.

Bobby was a gruff, not all talk about his feelings guy.

So when he said

"..you can call me that, boy if you wanna."

They left it at that..

Sam was enrolled into school taking the name Samuel singer.

He felt...nice about that.

But not all things worked out how we wanna.

And proof of that was the impala rocking up out of the blue in years on Bobby's property.

Sam was sixteen now, working on a car bobby had just newly gifted him for his birthday when he heard the car pull up.

"Sorry guys-we don't do walk ins her-" Sam stood in his tracks.

There stood a 20 year old concerned dean and a half guilty half relieved John.

Sam knew what his first instinct was

"daAAAD!" he yelled running into the house to grab his shotgun, bobby thinking the exact same thing.

Bobby walked out cocking his shotgun and aiming it at john's head

"What are you doing here." Bobby demanded.

"I want my son back, bobby. Now."

"Your son?"

"Yeah. My son." John sneered

"I'm his daddy. I cook him food for school. I have him *in* school. Couldn't say the same for you. Sam's good here. Actually no. Sam's great here. Cause hes my kid. Because he's *Samuel singer*, bastard." Bobby growled

Sam walked out and dean finally got a good look at the once scrawny boy.

Samuel had grown muscle, was probably just under 6ft and had grown out his hair funnily enough. If this was a lighter circumstance dean would punch his little brothers arm, ruffle his hair and tell him what an idiot he was.

But..it wasn't.

Sam was looking around with suspicious eyes, his body stuff and his arms crossed over his chest.

6 years it had taken. 6 years it had taken to find this kid. And he was right here with bobby. John had refuse to look here, after the last time he had seen bobby they had an falling out, presuming he would never help the winchester family again. He was indescribably wrong. He willed down the feeling of betrayal as he stared at the kid with a kind of shock in his eyes.

The kid called bobby dad now, went to school, had friends, had a social life.

"Sammy-" John turned over to see his son and Sam didn't even flinch his eyes just narrowed

"Sam." He corrected

Dean stepped up showing his hands in surrender as bobby Highers his gun properly

"Hey-hey look. Sam. Dad messed up. We get it i-c'mon kid. We want to take you back home you know? You've—you got you driving licence buddy? I heard about that, you wanna drive the impala the way there?" Dean was pleading, his knees about to buckle, if Sam wanted him to beg he was ready to put his pride aside.

"Dean.."

"Sammy please."

"No. I can't. Me and dad-"

"Bobby." Dean harshly snapped

"Dad." Sam snarled.

Johns jaw clenched and Sam's did too

"Your only so forgiving because he never hit you dean." Sams lip quivered as he fought back angry vicious tears.

John took a step and bobby aimed the gun it hitting johns forehead.

"You touch my kid and it's gonna be the last thing you do, John winchester. And I don't neccisarily want to be lighting a corpse on fire when me and Sam are going for a late birthday dinner." Bobby glared.

I will be writing this ff, 1st chapter will be coming out soon (today or tomorrow.)

[sucker4sixx]

Relight my fire

Pt.3

Plot: i love you

Warnings: rebounds (?)

You wake up feeling groggy, laying on nikkis warm chest, your eyes drifting up to see him smoking, his eyes red with the hangover. Nikki never liked to smoke in his house but i guess rules were made to be broken. “Morning sweetheart” he smiles at you, stroking your hair and placing the cigarette in your mouth. You take a quick few puffs and pass it back “morning nikki..” “did we fuck?” He asks blandly, knowing its a ‘no’ but wanting to catch you off guard. “Oh my god, no. Im asleep here because i was comforting you about seeing beth” he nods, your explanation making more sense.

“She looked gorgeous last night.. like a princess” he mutters, his eyes not leaving that one spot in the wall he focused on to make himself not cry “sometimes i wonder.. if i had took the news of her cheating better and not done it back.. where would we be now” his eyes go all glassy “well.. youd probably be trying to fill the void that you once felt was filled by her because you knew she slept with another man” you suggest.. “probably, yeah” he falls silent, snubbing his cigarette out and cuddling you even closer, needing the affection. You run your hands through his hair as he closes his eyes “i just dont understand.. maybe im not perfect but i gave her everything i had to offer.. i put my job on the line for her too many times” he frowns, sighing, you kiss his forehead softly “its not your fault she couldnt see what a handsome, loving, sweet man she had..” you scratch his scalp gently “but now she does.. and i dont know what to do” his bottom lip trembles alittle.

“Nikki she wont treat you any different to what she did, it wont go well if you go for her” “i know, but i miss it.. i miss waking up every morning to my wife and making her breakfast and seeing her at my shows.. i just miss the feeling of being so utterly adored, now i feel like im nobodys.. somebody.. you know?” You tilt your head, trying to understand what he means “im no ones special person anymore.. i have no one that feels complete with me and that i feel completed by” he holds back tears as you scratch his scalp. Nikki was your ‘special person’ and it hurt knowing he didn’t recognise that. “Nikki… your my special person..” he looks up at you, smiling softly “sweetheart thats sweet but.. dont tell me stuff to make me feel better” “im being serious nikki.. i mean it, since ive been here ive just felt so complete” he sighs and moves down to kiss you softly again but you move back “your still in love with the your wife nikki..” you frown and get out of his bed, moving to the living room.

He comes into the living room awkwardly ten minutes later, his face alittle red “do you want breakfast?” You look up to him and nod, smiling “ill get a fry up going” he pats your shoulder and makes his way to the kitchen. He returns with two plates of a classic english fry up and sits beside you, both of you eating silently but thinking of the same thing.. his wife.

“Im sorry..” you start, Nikkis head turning to you “for letting myself become a sort of.. wife model to you.. that wasnt my intention” you search his eyes that sadden “no, i shouldnt have used you as a rebound..” he sees your eyes sadden this time “but its not like i dont have feelings for you, your the most gorgeous woman i know.. your personality is just amazing and you smile is unbelievable-“ “nikki your doing it again” he goes quite, it wasnt even intentional “i cant help it..” he whispers. “Nikki i dont wanna be your rebound, i dont want to be with you so you can forget temporarily but when you’re bored im going in the trash-“ “i wouldnt do that!” He exclaims, feelings frustrated that you think hes capable of hurting you so badly “i wouldnt do that to you” he moves closer, you look up at his desperate eyes and he leans down to kiss you, both of your lips meeting softly.

He moves you back and his hand holds your head, kissing you softly “i wouldn’t do that” he repeats between kisses as you both make out, its filled with love thats been hidden for years.. this was bound to happen “i love..” you cut him off with a kiss “dont say it nikki.. please dont say it” you beg him, he sighs and frowns, watching your desperate eyes “dont shut me down.. i really do love yo-“ hes cut off by the door knocking, he groans and gets up, answering it to his ex wife, she smiles wide and hugs him, you watch in shock from the couch. As she kisses him you storm to your bedroom, even though they had a history your feelings for nikki were getting undeniable and hard to ignore.

Not even 20 minutes later nikkis walking into your room and crawling in beside you, you look at him confused “is she..” “yeah.. i sent her home” his arms wrap around you and he holds you close, his large hands stroking your stomach softly, you cant help but smile.

“I love you”

[drdemonprince]

sorry if this goes beyond like, just talk about passing but your post reminded me of a friend of mine whos dead set on going completely stealth once hes moved away for college. ive tried talking to him about this maybe not being super wise & that he should still try to connect with queer community whist hes there so he doesnt end up feeling isolated but hes super stubborn basically about living as if he isnt trans. i dont wanna lecture him on how he should live (im not a binary trans person so its not like ive gone through this myself). it mostly just worries me to think of him getting hurt - especially considering ive not really seen other people talk about having positive experiences doing this. obviously this goes beyond just trying to pass and theres definitely like, underlying stuff that i can only support him to deal with himself, but would i be being a dick to keep trying to advise him to not go fully stealth if he can ? like, is this moreso something people figure out for themselves by going through it?

I know a lot of people who have had a perfectly decent experience going stealth, in all kinds of places throughout the world from rural Alabama to small-town Japan. It's definitely possible to do safely, but most of the people I know who have done it do feel profoundly lonely. Or they're extremely normie straight trans people who don't even really think of themselves as part of the queer community and integrate into cis-ciety pretty easily. I don't think it's The Move, personally, but I think it's definitely something that one has to figure out for themselves. But you can be a supportive presence and a throughline to your friend that connects him to queer people while he attempts this route.

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

part 2 of this

anyways, that’s that. things are fine, people are talked down of their motives, life is going back to normal. THEN OBITO SHOWS UP and it’s nothing but emotional turmoil between Kakashi and that orange masked moron. don’t even get me started on why Obito is doing all this evil stuff in the first place.

wtf do you mean Orbit, that thirty year old, buff, scarred, dopey, traumatized, texas two-steppin man is trying to ruin the world because his crush got gut punched to death when they were both FOURTEEN?

like babe, there’s more important things to worry about besides Rin and killing Kakashi. how are you gonna get crushed by a rock as a teen and instead of staying dead like a normal person you get revived, patched up with tar by your shady uncle, and go on a vengeful rampage for like 15 years. don’t piss me off.

so now it’s Orbit vs. Cashew which is more of a mass emotional hysteria between those two frenemies if anything. then, it’s Fishroll, Pink Doctor, Sigh, Yams, and the entire village vs. The Bad Girls Club.

when Naruto fights these troglodytes you’d think it would be a typical battle of one wins one loses but OF COURSE ITS NOT ITS NEVER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

Naruto, the same kid who can control some of the most powerful ninjutsu, the dude who is besties with the fox demon in his mind, the orphan who had every right to become the villain, wins his fights not with bloodshed but by TALKING? no, don’t look at me. for practical reasons, i do not exist as this moment.

Naruto and company are all out there kicking ass and winning because why wouldn’t they. wanna know who’s not winning? Weasel because Sasuke found him and merked his blind self. yeah, Itachi let Sasuke kill him. wtf, who wrote that in? someone explain family therapy to these two before i call the police.

so when the Bad Girls Club are no longer a club aka hella hella dead or gone and that weird emotional thunderclap between Kakashi and Obito is done you’d think that’s a wrap. you’d think that’s it because everyone got what they wanted. well you’re wrong, sorry love.

because Naruto is STILL SNIFFING OUT SASUKE LIKE A BLOODHOUND WHOS ON THE PROWL.

i wanna point out that throughout the entire series Sasuke has made it clear he doesn’t want friends and Naruto basically said “well we’re married so to bad” and cuz of this whenever he did run into Sasuke it was always a fight. the constant back and forth between these two of betting on losing dogs, yin and yang, self-destruction, self-realization, and strength gain leads you to think Naruto will kill Sasuke because he couldn’t save Sasuke from himself.

that doesn’t happen, of course it doesn’t. that’s normal circumstance and we don’t do that here. have you been listening? don’t get me started fam I’ll punch walls.

Sasuke, the same dude who’s been against any form of emotional connection since day zero, suddenly faces the guy who’s been standing up for him despite all the destruction and death. what’s Sasuke do? admits he’s always lowkey cared for Naruto and the others. im leaving the function, i slipped on my own tears on the way out.

my Jonas brother in Christ, what? Sasuke, babe, get out of my house and be so serious.

i may not have a lot of muscle but i have unbridled female rage, a lot of questions, and a broken flat iron to help me find the god damn answers.

so yeah, he says “teehee oops”, helps rid of the remaining baddies, him and Naruto get matching missing limbs, and all is mostly forgiven.

what do you have left at the end of all this bullshit? traumatized kids who grow up, become something, get married, some have kids, and we never actually got the boyfriends we deserve. Sasuke is still trying to be Jesus of Suburbia, Naruto has a son who’s name sounds like Burrito.

i can not make this shit up, this series goes every direction yet also stays in a circle. if I showed any of the episodes to a victorian child or a modern day old person their heads would explode and it’d feel like chernobyl all over again.

what lessons did we learn by the end of the anime. one, don’t try to destroy the world when your crush dies in your teens. two, mind your business. three, seek family therapy before attempting murder. four, being gay is great and helping the homies is greater. and five, don’t get me started.

yall ever love an anime and/or show so much it becomes irritating? cuz i do.

anyways, it’s a great anime. good animation, relatable characters, amazing development of the world and people in it. i recommend it to everyone and yes it’s weird but we will ignore that. if you want weirder, watch One Piece.

thank you for coming to my yap session.

(again, unedited. sorry for mistakes, i might fix them later)

[rei-does-stuff]

Little…Well LONG thing about Bamsaegi and co

—

So they all managed to get out of the gas chamber and escape underground. They find a hidden mineshaft that was left behind from the wolves and recover there, they think everything is finally okay but the worst happens as the mineshaft collapses on itself and they’re trapped once again. They’re not dying but they’re completely stuck.

They all try to make the best of the situation, stay positive yknow? But that can only go so far and eventually everyone is hungry tired and fed up with everything, Bamsaegi especially.

They’ve been trapped for a few weeks and Undochi keeps trying to tell everyone that Flower Hill is coming for them, that they still need to keep hope for Flower Hill so they can continue serving and Bamsaegi fucking snaps.

“WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR WEEKS! There’s not coming! They’re never coming! They probably already have a funeral ready for us and are parading us around as Martyrs just like your brother, just like Mulori, just like everyone else! Are you really this delusional?? We are gonna die in here!”

Undochi still having that Flower Hill propaganda deep inside him, gets angry esp since Bam brought up his brother.

“Well SORRY for trying to be positive! It’s not my fault you believe a random note you thought your brother sent! How’s that going for you? You’re so naive, don’t forget we’re in this mess because you stupidly thought everything was over! It’s no wonder Geum likes me more than you. He’s probably not even looking for you anymore, is he?!” And it eventually turns into an actual fight as Murori desperately tries to keep them both from murdering each other

He has to talk a lot of sense into them once he gets them off of each other. “Are you two crazy?? The more you fight the more likely this place will collapse on top of us, you two might be fine being buried alive but I’m not! We’re all tired, maybe they won’t find us, but killing each other just makes so if they do find us they’ll only be dragging out corpses! Put your anger towards finding a way out of here!”

They eventually dig a little into the mineshaft, but the tunnels lead to no where, they do find a lot of hidden information about the wolves, weasels and especially flower hill since it seems like the mineshaft was there to store physical files of information when they switched over to being completely digitally

And finding out the horrors of your homeland probably won’t end well for them

Undochi is trying so hard to cope. “Noo guys im sure we had a good reason! We aren’t monsters! R-Right…?”

“No Undochi I don’t think any amount of ANYTHING deserves stuff like this…Was my brother really doing this kinda stuff to the enemy?”

“It’s fake! It HAS to be fake!”

“It too real to be fake…We did all this, and more. Your brothers…My sister…Oh I’m gonna be sick…”

They eventually get out, they’re close to Flower Hill but after seeing what they’ve seen they don’t consider it their homes anymore, especially since they get to spy on their own funerals! Fun right?

They all think “Screw this place, if they think we’re dead then we don’t have to serve anymore, we can do whatever we want! This isn’t our home anymore!”

But the only thing really stopping this is Bamsaegi, he wants his parents, both of them. He thinks he can save them! Jul is still in the hospital so they do the very sane and normal thing of breaking into the hospital and kidnapping him whilst trying not to be spotted

Jul is obviously VERY fucking confused because moments ago he was grieving his son being dead and here he is, alive trying to kidnap you!

Bamsaegi is really emotional whilst trying to explain WHY he’s doing this and how Flower Hill is bad and everything and Jul is like “Look Bam, I care more about the people IN flower hill than Flower Hill itself…If you don’t wanna be here I can’t force you.”

Unfortunately it isn’t up to Jul.

They still have to find Geum, and he…He isn’t gonna be very nice about it, not nice at all

They managed to find Geum, it takes a lot of planning esp since Geum is still undercover but they manage to knock him out and drag him out of the Wolves Den

When he awakes he’s at first confused and disoriented esp since Bam is alive, but when he finally adjusts and realizes what’s going on he isn’t happy in the slightest

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! DID THE GAS CHAMBER MAKE YOU LOSE BRAINCELLS?? Do you realized what you’ve done?! You already made us go back to fighting and now you’re trying to pull me away and let everyone in Flower Hill die and for what?!? Because you’re upset about a few things we HAD to do?!?!”

Bamsaegi tries desperately to explain whilst is screaming at him, Jul is trying to calm him down but to avail.

“You don’t understand! This isn’t right! Flower Hill is just as bad as the others! This war is meaningless and it’ll never end! You’ve thrown half of your life away just because Flower Hill convinced you that it was your fault that you trusted Uncle Bear! It’s the conmanders who are trying to trick you into staying Dad! They’re using you! We don’t have to deal with it! We can just stay here and be happy like before!”

Geum, however, isn’t convinced. Straight up slapping Bamsaegi. He isn’t yelling, but his tone makes himself very clear that it isn’t up for debate.

“I am your guardian, I have been for years therefore you can’t do anything without my permission. And I refuse to give you permission to do something this traitorous. Your friends can do what they want, Jul…You can support them if you wish. But I will not let you betray Flower Hill. You are a stupid, naive child who doesn’t know anything about the real world. I was wrong to think you were ready to be a scout, I’ll be sure they train you better. We are going home, and I will go back to defend OUR hill like we’re supposed to. This isn’t a battle you can win.”

True to his word Geum does exactly that, much to Undochi, Murori and Jul’s dismay. The two kids try to stop him but Geum is a lot stronger than the two of them, so they have to wait before trying anything.

Jul isn’t happy, he tells Geum as much.

“You’re angry at me?”

“Extremely.”

“Look…I-I didn’t wanna do it either, but he can’t be thinking these kinds of things.”

“He’s already afraid of you Geum…You’re just giving more of a reason to be scared.”

“I know…But what else am I supposed to do? Let him run off to get killed by some weasel and not be able to fight back? If he stays here’s he’s safe, if he fights for Flower Hill he’ll have backup. If he’s out there? Nothing.”

“Hitting him doesn’t show that, even you know that…He should be able to make his own decisions even if you don’t approve. If he’s old enough to die for Our Hill he’s old enough to make that choice.”

“But that choice will lead to him dying!”

“So does fighting for Flower Hill! Geum he isn’t like you…Or he isn’t like you now…He had a point you know? I can tell…You still blame yourself for what happened with Uncle Bear…”

“…I can’t let him make the same mistake I did. He stays here.”

“Just…Really think about it Geum. Don’t push it away…I already lost Mulori, I don’t wanna lose you too.”

It’s a lot for Geum to think about

Undochi and Murori have already started planning to kidnap Bam back, sneaking in occasionally beforehand to talk with him.

They’re both pissed, Undochi especially!

Meanwhile Geum is maybe having an existential crisis about the whole “oh shit maybe I HAVE been brainwashed!” As the whole kidnapping Bamsaegi thing is happening which is great for Bam and co. Jul may or may not be helping them <4

Morning comes, Geum sees Bam isn’t there. “Did he run away?”

“Are you gonna look for him, you’re supposed to go back undercover today.”

“No. I have to…Talk with the commander first…”

Geum needs to see if the commanders are really…Well good for Flower Hill. Good to serve.

They greet him with open arms, he is there most loyal soldier after all. But Geum is there with one simple question.

“When I found out we couldn’t rely on Uncle Bear…We were able to drive the weasels out pretty quickly. Were we always that strong?”

“Of course! We didn’t need Uncle Bear, Flower Hill must be self reliant!”

“So then…Why did you let them attack? It was clear they were gonna do something…Why did you wait till Uncle Bear was already on the blackout drunk on the floor?”

“Well, how else would you learn? If you didn’t see the truth of the situation you would’ve just relied on Uncle Bear forever!”

“Learn….?”

“We had to teach you a lesson somehow! It worked, didn’t it? You know better now?”

“…Yes. I do.”

The commanders try to send Geum back undercover, he pretends to agree. But he isn’t going back. No, he serves his home, and Flower Hill clearly isn’t his home anymore. No, instead he goes to find Bamsaegi. He has a lot…a LOT of apologizing to do after all <3

Now realistically it would probably take a bit more to convince Geum but shhhhhh its fine <333

Yea just a think ive been having brainrot abt <33