#im sorry the images look kinda bad idk what happened

[wurmzirkus]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME @raylangivins AND @imperial-evolution !! lemme combine these two

tagging @rhizomehaunt, @tallahasseemp3, @agentmika, @jacobied, and @udonthreens AND ALSO everyone who really wants to do this bc i think its such a cute concept

[iid-smile]

can't get rid of me , fushiguro toji

a strong legacy to be left behind , chapter one

the series masterlist. | previous | next

cw: profanity, mentions of pregnancy (pills) but filtered for megumi's sake, mentions of violence in prison, you're broke, smoking cigarettes

author's note: sigh... im out of my fluff era 😞 (sorry guys) kinda wanted to write something that i think would actually happen in some sort of alternate jjk universe and um idk how far to go because this kind of stuff does happen in the manga, but writing it feels illegal??? idk...

"mom?" megumi peeks out from around the corner in the hallway. "who was calling?"

another groan escapes your lips, around the fifth one in the last three minutes, and you silence your phone once again. "your— excuse my language, shitty deadbeat dad keeps wanting to call me." you slap your hand across your forehead and lean back on the couch, a small creak coming from somewhere below. "apparently he's getting aggressive in prison. shut off the house phone, but they still found my number..."

your son comes closer to you, and you scoop him up, placing him by your side. he glances up at you, and you swear your fight or flight instincts nearly kicked in, (not that you'd be able to fight of a guy as big as toji anyways) flinching slightly from his sharp gaze. it sucks how he looks so much like his dad, because you loved megumi so much. but the image of that guy was almost too much to bear, and he's the spitting image.

"shitty?" he repeats. for a well-behaved kid, he really doesn't respect your words.

"don't say that megs, it's bad language." you swear around him all of the time, so what's the point in scolding him? "only your mama can say it."

"don't tell me what to do."

wow. okay. why do you feel threatened by a six year old? "damn, you've got his attitude too." you mutter, but you've only got yourself to blame for that. you knew you were never cut out to be a mother, so your ways of parenting weren't the best.

he snuggles closer to you, and you openly accept, moving your free hand to his hair to rub over it. "why can't i see toji?"

ah, this lovely story again. "because he left me as soon as you were born, love." really, you couldn't and didn't want to stop yourself from wrapping him up in your arms, feeling the need to protect him. "at this point, he's dead to me. seems like he doesn't feel the same though... i'm so sick of his ass." you also knew it wasn't good parenting to rant to your child about adult issues, but you've only got him to talk to.

that hug was out of comfort then. why are you lying to yourself?

he looks up at you with an irritatingly cute but blank face. "why?"

"god, i hate how many questions you ask." you speak under your breath once again, looking up at the ceiling from any sort of help from a higher being. the amount of times you've had to family-friendly-ify things that have happened isn't even funny. you're not naturally rated u for universal. it's more embarrassing when he recites those same stories to his teachers, and you get called into the school for a little talk.

yikes... here we go. "he lied when he said he gave me the right magical candy after we visited the stork. tried to make it drop you off back to where babies are made in heaven, but i wanted it to deliver you to me, whether he liked that or not." the story's got to be a little filtered somehow. you'd rather not get yourself in the principal's office again. "you're my little hero; a miracle to me. i would've given up on myself ages ago. your dad is a bad, bad man."

the type that would kill. if he found where you lived, or perhaps where megumi goes to school...

"and now i'm left broke in an apartment that barely functions, yet i still spoil my little hero." you sing-song, leaning your head back. "and with what money? i'm broke as hell, megs. can't even make both of us breakfast in the morning cuz your elementary school is too damn expensive."

"is this my fault?"

"...no. no, baby, of course not." you furrow your eyebrows more, a small pout in your lips. "if anything, you made my situation a bit more fortunate."

it's a selfish way of thinking, using your child to avoid solving your problems, using your child to wail and complain about how much you hate your life, but you've got nothing to lose. nothing to lose except for the one person you love.

you can feel your phone buzzing again.

"you stay here and watch tv, okay? mama's gonna go to the kitchen and talk to her friend." he seems a bit relieved as you let go of him, and you stand up.

you hear him mutter. "it's only playing the news though..." no shit it only plays the news, you can't afford to get a good television company that has any kids shows. that is, unless you wanna get scammed out of all of your money.

begrudgingly, you make your way to the kitchen, confirm that you closed the door completely, and answer the vibrating device. "hello?" you sigh, placing the device over your ear.

the other person on the call replies quickly. "is this miss—"

"yeah, yeah, it is. what the hell do you want?"

"um... we apologise, but we strongly suggest that you come to the prison building. he—" the guy's voice cracks. must be really nervous. "pardon me. he's been physically assaulting other inmates and guards, he doesn't follow orders, he never leaves his cell unless it's to visit the closed visits room. you know, in hopes that you'll come..."

obsessed much? where was this energy six years ago? "that's got nothing to do with me."

"please, ma'am. he won't listen to anyone, and we are unable to place him into special facilities as he doesn't emit any cursed energy." ah, he's begging? that's a first. you never would've thought you'd hear a person who works at a prison begging.

cursed energy, cursed energy, this talk again and again and again. "urgh..." you take a deep breath. your options are limited, and they won't stop calling until they can get that lunatic to calm down... surprise, surprise, you really don't want to go.

but if you were really uninterested in him, wouldn't you have already spent the bail money that's been sat on the counter for ages, neatly concealed in an envelope? wouldn't you have paid off all of your debts already? "will i— hm..." choose your words carefully, goddamn it. "can i get a reward of some sort if i go? money?"

"yes, yes! please do visit. there's nothing we can legally do to him in check anymore." ...you think this guy sounds a little too eager.

damn toji and his "supernatural powers", or else you wouldn't get yourself into this mess. finally, after your moment of silence, you respond. "okay. i'll visit."

"thank you—!" you cut off the line.

"fucking bastard..." you drop your phone on the counter, running your hands through your hair and over your face. "stressing me out for what? you don't even love me." your words turn into whispers. with haste, you rummage through your back pocket, trying to find those last few cigarettes, but as your hands were occupied, your eyes moved over to the ashtray that was collecting dust on top of the microwave. oh, right... you don't smoke anymore because there's no ventilation indoors.

you'd have to head out if you wanted to, but then megumi would be in the apartment on his own. and nobody can babysit, because you don't have anybody to ask to babysit. great, you can't smoke until monday. it's a friday afternoon. you have two whole days to get through!

you know for a fact your addiction won't hold out for that long.

[callibones]

hello!!! 🩸🟪 again. sorry for asking so early in the morning--i know you said you timed your last poast so i would see it so i feel bad for changing my hours but i had some extra free time. in the future you don't have to time your responses if you dont wanna. i peruse your blog at least once a week or so so ill probably find things ! and i dont wanna bother you first thing, thank you SO MUCH for that injoke guide! i'm like lvl 500 autistic so i had trouble figuring them out naturally. this makes things sm easier.

second thing... you have a bill cipher fictive? that's inch resting. i think i might also be plural too but i'm kinda off and on about it. but when u said that i looked back at the post they made and it was tagged with a #👁️? and then i looked at your other posts and there's a few tagged with a #👑. and your posts are usually tagged with #callie.txt.exe. so i thought hm. so i don't make any mistakes--what's your bill cipher fictive's name? how many people are there? is callie around the majority of the time? this is probably invasive so you don't need to respond to any of this JKHJBGVFCDXRCFGVHBJKNHBGVFCDXCGHBJKNHJBGVFCDGFVHBJ. also ive definitely Won and have obtained zero shelled feelings ever absolutely.

third. I LOVED OIL AND WATER!!! thank you sm. i haven't finished reading through all the other fics you reblogged though so when i do ill send you my thoughts on all of them in a different ask. you are so Based but not in a weird way in like a cool awesome way. fourth. i.. do rlly wanna dm you but my main thing is that i kind of Lost access to my main account a bit ago? idk how i was just stupid and Forgor

so ive been slowly trying to rebuild it on this new one. problem is, it's not Done yet. i'm worried im going to dm you and it will be Incomplete and you will forever perceive me as a Flawed, Unfinished version of myself. it would simply tarnish the wonderful 🩸🟪 brand, you know?

so i think.. if i do dm you, it'll be in a little while. i'll probably create a dedicated sideblog for the occasion when i do, ok? i do wanna hear you yap in a more controlled environment.

last thing i swear. so this actually has NOTHING to do with anything else you said but im like freaking out. so i checked your youtube channel and i noticed your description.

television for a head.

this is cool and all and your sona is SO AWESOME but this also Sucks for me because this ENTIRE TIME i've been drawing you as a computer! i have so much callibones fanart of you as a fucking desktop where it's like nested so your monitor has a little desktop assistant that is also you and it goes on forever and ever and ever with even smaller callies and that idea was WRONG!! i shouldve known from the antennae but i thought that was a bug thing not a tv thing (which, by the way, excellent choice on your part. when i'm not an assembly of shapes, i do enjoy being an insect.) but i was a FOOL!!!

so this makes me realize hey wait what else am i getting wrong? this thing is colored differently in this image than all the other images. what's the correct thing to do? and i came to the conclusion that i need to just ASK YOU! (wow who could've guessed. you're so smart.) yeah! i am! the smartest in the whole world even

if you happen to have any, i need reference sheets of your sona. if you have reference sheets of the alternate variants (or are those headmates? i saw one was called calliope and i think there was a bill cipher one so is that the fictive? i don't know but i want to draw them) those would be appreciated too. i have made a grave error and i must resolve it immediately.

with that. um. thank you for humoring me, id like to thank all our sponsors for getting me to write this ask, i will join the discord servers and message you one day because i am Not Afraid of Anything in the Whole Wide World. toodles

HELLO 🩸🟪! hope i didnt keep you waiting too long.... wanted to finish my ref first! PLUS i got a whoooole buncha busy goin on so im SUPER occupied.... but now i got time just for YOU! i definitely didnt time this one im just postin it now that i Can.... but im sure you can use the tag and your weekly browsing skills to find your way back here. hehehehe.

SECOND: very observant! yes, while we haven't made an official post for it, calliope uses the crown emoji and calcifer uses the eye emoji! that's his name, by the way. in fact, here's the whole gang, labeled with NAMES & PRONOUNS!

("who the fuck" is me, sorry. hehehehe.) (putting the id on this one out here so its easier. from left to right, you got:

the commissariat (she/they) in red, in a fancy longcoat with a jacket makin a serious pose

me, callie (it/fae/she) in green, in my usual "have a rotten day" top that shows my bra a lil and my short skirt

calliope (she/thon) in purple, wearing thons over-the-top storm supervillain dress

calcifer (he/she/it/they and it insisted on including "calcifae/calcifaer" as well) in yellow, with a suit, a shorter skirt than mine, a sword, and the bill cipher triangle-eye pose

and callyris (she/it) in pink, with short-shorts and a crop top fully showin its maintenance panel.

i'm around the majority of the time, but there's five of us includin' me and Calcifer! he's more than just bill cipher, btw. he's he/him lesbian bill cipher! hehehehe. he's also like genuinely growing as a person and i'm REALLY proud of him. also it's okay i have shelled one feelings too. calcifer says you're probably pretty easy to take advantage of and should call her.

THIRD: YAY! cedardivine, who made that peanutiel story, JUST made a separate post the other day with all thons blaseball writing. so GO CHECK THAT OUT! i sure plan to. :-D

FOURTH: cmon you dont gotta brand. EVERYONES flawed and unfinished! including me! im fucked upppp dont put me on a pedestal. im incomplete too!!!!

FIFTH HERES MY REF!!!! i made it just for you (genuinely!) so you GOTTA show me your fanart now because omg? omg???? omg???????? you made fanart of me? sobbing and crying??

also youre KINDA right about the desktop assistant thing! i fuckin love the nestedness so much and theres definitely some stuff where i imply that! but thats because.... so the actual sona is a desktop assistant virus thing. but fae takes on the appearance of a tv-head bot! so when fae's in The Real World fae uses a Made Physical version of that same cartoony self to walk around in. and on that robot's an OS running... the actual desktop assistant! so while it's not infinitely nested, you're right that my reality is Layered. i wonder if it could go deeper than that....

theres not a lotta art of the others YET but heres SOME FUCKIN AWESOME ART MY WONDERFUL FRIEND OF RIGORMARCY DREW OF THON so lookat that.

and here's calcifer's never-before-posted discord pfp, just for you:

calcifer sez: THERE'S MY CARD! GIMME A RING IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW DEITY TO CHAT UP. THE SHELLED ONE MAY BE DEAD, BUT I'M AROUND FOREVER! FOREVER.

so. do what you will with this information.

IN CONCLUSION please send me your fanart if you wanna and feel like it because thats SO AWESOME that you made some... literally misty eyed.... ill look forward to your next correspondence whether i know you as 🩸🟪 or as whatever your name is on whatever platform you wanna reach me with! feel free to shoot me a friend request on discord if tumblr aint workin for ya. tell em 🩸🟪 sent ya! because that's you. and you can send you. But not in the mail, unfortunately. 1984.

UNTIL NEXT TIME GOOBY!!!!

[causenessus]

GOOD MORNING NESS!! <3 i hope you have a good dayy :) the brown and green additions to the blog are so cute omg😋 it looks super cute!

i have picture day in a couple hours im literally tweaking out.. it's probably gonna be fine tho but THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN EGG TOO like they'll tell me "okay push back your hair a bit, brush your bangs to the side..." girl the bangs are the only thing keeping me from looking like a helipad NO NO NO GET AWAY 🤺 so yeah im here in my bedroom stressing about what to do w my hair and what to wear as i lay in bed, actively avoiding doing anything ☺️

ALSO AFTER YOU SAID A BIT ABOUT THAT PLAY I HONESTLY WANTED TO HEAR MORE?? like you accidentally BIT your phone and cut your finger? 😨 what else happened during that play??😭 AND ALSO kinda gave me flashbacks to being a theater kid when i was in elementary bc i would always do plays and musicals EVEN OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL i was a little nerd LMAOAOA but those plays were soooo much fun and in one of them i even got to wear a big poofy dress that was such a vibe... (no it wasn't i was so overstimulated after a while BUT THE DRESS WAS CUTE) i should go back to theater (no i shouldn't)

ANYWAY I HOPE YOUR SCHOOL DAY GOES WELL AND YOUR WORK (if you have it today, idk 💔)!! HOPEFULLY WE CAN TALK MORE LATER TODAY! MAKE SURE YOU EAT AND DRINK WATER AND DONT FORGET TO TAKE YOUR MEDS‼️

THANK YOU SO MUCH SAV!!! I MAY LIKE TAKE A SCREENSHOT OF IT TO MAKE IT LIKE A DIVIDER IMAGE YK </33 bc it looks perfect at least on my phone screeen and i think it's cute on my computer screen too!! but ik it's not like completely centered and everything if that makes sense 😭

NOT THE HELIPAD 💀💀 I HOPE YOUR PICTURE DAY WENT WELL LOVE!! LMK HOW IT WENT!! i remember there was one time my picture was so bad I COULD NOT HANDLE IT like literally could not tolerate it it was that bad i actually went in for like picture retakes bc usually like i don't care that much BUT THAT ONE WAS SO BAD 💀

AND OMG YES LET ME TELL YOU THE STORY so i've talked about this play a lot on here i think!! it was the one where my director got really mad and yelled at people backstage and the asm back there put his headset mic down so we could be nosy and listen in LMAO (while we were all hiding in the booth and then got jumpscared when his bald whiny head appeared outside the window) etc. it was that show!!! so also what happened was that bc i'm a little catwalk monkey lights kid freak i was always up there or asked to go up there to help with things!! and sometimes i have to do not osha safe things like climb on the batons!! (allow me to find a picture for reference)

OKAY I ALMOST COULDN'T FIND A PIC BUT THEN I FOUND EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR (i'm going to guess my school is just especially unsafe LMAO like when our theatre was constructed it was NOT done right we have so many violations and like not all of our channels work...some of them are double channeled...etc SORRY THIS IS ME RANTING DW ABOUT FOLLOWING ALONG)

OKAY SO ANYWAY IF U SEE HOW LIKE THESE "BATONS" ARE JUST THESE METAL RODS LITERALLY JUST SECURED BY CHAINS??? WE HAD A BUNCH OF THESE ON OUR CATWALKS (so not all of them had these curtains on them!!) and sometimes we'd have to hang lights on ones that were far out (like not easily accesible) so what i would have to do is climb over the railing of our catwalks and step onto these little tiny poles and basically sit on two of them (yes there was a lot of space between these batons. that's why it was not safe and not a job we trusted a lot of people to do. yes my director forced me to try and wear a harness my last year of hs [after an entire year of not wearing a harness doing this stuff] and no he did not succeed or actually care that much [so i basically never wore a harness risking my life LMAO]) BUT ANYWAY so basically during this show i needed to go out onto these batons to hang a light!! but i was just thinking about where i wanted to put the light and everything and i needed to hold my phone!! so instead of putting it in my pockets or on the floor like a normal person i held it in my mouth!! which i had done multiple times but apparently this time i bit it a bit too hard and so the screen broke and would no longer register touch!! a wonderful time honestly!!! and so then i had go back to my super ancient phone bc i didn't feel like trying to get the screen fixed and didn't even know if it was worth it but that phone was always on its last life and started giving out this summer so then i finally got it repaired yay!!! (AND ALSO FOR REFERENCE old phones were built different yk. like my old phone, the show right after this play where i bit and broke this other phone yk, i accidentally dropped this old phone from the catwalks bc my hands were really shaky one day and it SURVIVED LMAO)

tw for blood ofc!! so about my finger!! so also during this show!! in the catwalks we hung up a little curtain that reached like halfway to the ground or so so that we could project cute little patterns onto the curtain (this was a horror show btw. very cutesy. very demure.) but after we did the show, i was sent up there to take the curtain down, well that curtain had been a BEAST to hang in the first place like it had taken i think two separate groups over the course of two weeks to get that thing secure so like there was wire wrapped around one of the catwalk bars a thousand times PLUS there was tape all around all that wire so i'm like tearing through this all trying to get the wire undone but then it cut me!! :( so my thumb started bleeding and so one of my kids kept a blood covered wire (my blood ofc) as a souvenir and i left my bloody thumbprint on that bar :)) and then i think we literally just put like spike tape around my cut it was a crazy day but that happens often!! i remember moving a bed once and then i was like "EW WHY IS THE BED WET" but it was actually bc my finger!! was once again bleeding 😭 I HAVE TONS OF CRAZY STORIES ASK ME ANYTIME ABOUT THEM!!

AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY SAV!! MAKE SURE YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS AND EAT PROPERLY AND DRINK ENOUGH WATER ILYSM!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR I'LL HAVE TO POP OUT OF YOUR SCREEN AND DO IT FOR YOU!!

[destinygoldenstar]

Fusing Total Drama Characters In Sims 4 (Part 7)

I’m fusing Total Drama characters in Sims 4 using the genetic mechanic.

Why?

I don’t flipping know. Why not?

I’m gonna do EVERY pairing possible. This post is just gonna be however long Tumblr allows for images.

So let’s just get into it.

I’m using my own TD Sims for this. They’re in the Gallery if you want them. As well as all these pairings and sims that get generated. So what you want.

Izzy + DJ

We’re using the crazy girl today. Geez…

Let’s see what Sims comes up with…

And we’re starting off with two pretty ugly sims.

Im sorry, they’re both not working for me.

It’s the outfits especially. Especially the girls. They’re just a complete mess.

The girls name is Priscilla. She’s a bookworm & adventurous.

The boys name is Jonathon. He’s adventurous & a dance machine.

At least they’re both adventurous…

Izzy + Lindsay

Could go well or badly, we’ll see.

Let’s see what sims decides…

Okay. Wow.

They’re both surprisingly good.

Like, I have no problem with these. They’re very solid sims. Im surprised.

The boys name is Seth. He’s a genius & squeamish.

The girls name is Summer. She’s lacrosse intolerant & a bookworm.

Izzy + Bridgette

Crazy & Chill.

Geez…

Oh, okay…?!

Why does the boy have an unbuttoned shirt?

I mean I get it, surfer. And it matches. But why?

The girl is really pretty though. She’s very preppy and it looks great. I also like the nose ring she has.

The girls name is Phoenix. She’s active & an insider.

The boys name is Vernon. He’s adventurous & an insider.

Why they’re both insiders, idk.

Izzy + Trent

Still not a Trent fan, sorry not sorry.

I hope Izzy’s genes show more here…

Well… you can’t win them all.

I mean, they look fine. They’re just really boring.

(Kinda like Trent’s character.)

The boys name is Freddy. He’s adventurous & evil.

The girls name is Lisa. She’s mean & creative.

And they’re both bad people… WELP.

Izzy + Harold

Last one for today. And we’re FINALLY using best boy.

Now I’m excited…

Ooooooohhhh!

I actually think the girl is SO CUTE.

She’s got a lot of Harold’s preppy energy, you know? And she’s got such a cute face. I like her.

The boy is kinda whatever. I mean, he’s fine, but just nothing interesting. Except him being muscular. How did that happen?

The girls name is Alysha. She’s materialistic & outgoing.

The boys name is Stephen. He’s childish & a geek.

Say these generated sims were on a team on a show. What’s their team name?

[eggtwobroes]

frenrye

i dont evem know who these guys ARE!

jokes aside though i luv frenrey. frenrey means alot to me which sounds kind of funny to say. its an inside joke to several friend groups (3 friendgroups i can think of off the top of my head). its a comfort. it makes me unironically nauseous if i think about it in bad contexts. i couldnt look at it for a little bit due to bad associations. it also helped me figure out alot about myself (mostlu helped me figure out that im. fictoromantic </3)

alot of text under the cut sorry. WATCH OUT! (ship ask game)

as for what it means to me personally, at first i was annoying with hlvrai. i had the worst possible characterizations yiu could possibly conjure up because i wanted to frankenstein every fucking ao3 trait for benrey and gordon together because i thought that was the way to characterize them. i was also 13 so whatever. i also projected onto benrey HARD which made him more annoying and me more annoying also. at some point i projected too hard and got nauseous with the ship cuz i convinced myself that i was projecting trauma about my ex friends onto them.??? which was weird but i ended up reaching some closure regarding those ex friends a little while ago and also at the time i realised "hm. no this is stupid" and moved on. then i got on tumblr and became a bigger frenrey fan (really funny to say) and it started meaning more to me... my characterizations got better ovr time (same with my art) and everything was goung well. i had friends who liked frnerey and also i liked frenrey myself. peace and love on planet autism. and then the thing in june happened when my now ex friend told me something about literally everyone in The Frenrey Discord server which caused alot of stuff that i wont explain cuz i think you guys know it by now. that was embarrassing. i also couldnt look at frenrey because i associated it with that and it made me sick to my stomach to think about. at some point i got normaler and less mentally ill and stuff. frenrey also became a relaly big inside joke in my friend groups and stuff <3 i dont really make as much frenrey art as i used to now since im more of a darnrey enthusiast at this point but thats cuz i did figure out im fictoro bcuz of it (shoutout to my wife. girdon)

other than what it personally means 2 me its also a really funny dynamic. guy shows up and starts pestering you the WHOLE FUCKING DURATION of the worst days of ur life. claims he used to know you when you were kids (you fucking didnt). and ur brains response to this is "lets kiss with tongue" its so funny. in canon context its like. this guy plays a game and meets the most fucking insufferable npc of his life and falls in love with him when hes literally not even tangible. how do you store that much emotion towards a character from a game you could just turn off dude. theyre both pathetic i think. their dynamic is kinda hard to describe. i think its funny when benreys head over heels for this guy that hates his guts. i think its funny if they both hate eachothers guts and are simultaneously thinking "i hope this guy fucking goes to hell. i bet he wants to kiss me. good thing i dont want that". i think its funny if benrey doesnt care about gordon at all and just harasses him cuz he thinks its funny and gordons like "god this guy sucks. would it be weird if i kissed him. id hate that probably". idk its a very fun ship to play around with its very flexible.. they fit as queerplatonic, romantic, AND platonic. they work out in game and nongame scenarios. they work in aus because theyre opposites. its so fun. im like dr frankenstein and frenrey is my frankensteins monster that i test on just to see what happens and what works best. idk how else to end this paragraph and continue to the next one sorry

mre related to the first bit about how theyre an inside joke. heres a collection of frenrey related images that are inside jokes or about inside jokes

theres also a lot more videos i have but i cant put themall here. sadly. heres one at least

[fragmented-light-sys]

I know this can be a difficult question to answer and not everyone is comfortable with it, so please don’t feel pressured to share more than you’re comfortable with. But how did you come to find out you were a system? What was it like? We’re there any signs before, or was it a total shock? How old was the body?

Asking because my friends are all convinced I have DID and I just can’t accept it and i don’t know what to do if they’re right so I’m looking for comfort in other peoples’ stories.

-a very confused and scared college student

this is gonna be a long post lol im sorry.

excuse the switching between we and i, we're kinda blurry and switchy idk.

before i say anything, i do have to say that we're undiagnosed so we dont have 100% proof but we are fairly certain in our suspicion and have done research before saying anything about this (which i recommend to you too; there's blogs on here that have plenty of papers on DID/OSDD research).

ive always felt like there was something going on that i couldnt explain with other mental health stuff (the dissociation, the missing trauma memories, the feeling that youre seperate people, the emotions that dont fit to how you would react, etc) but the only image i had of DID was what the media told me, so losing time n all that.

i did actually start researching DID/OSDD at one point in our life but that resulted in them trying to talk to me and me being completely overwhelmed by everything which lead to a severe shut down that i still cant quite fully understand.

the body is 24 and thats also the age that i started to explore this somehow. theres definitely systems that know way before that but theres really no age limit to discovering that youre a system.

coming to terms with being a system is a hard thing to do so when i did finally start looking into it and asking myself these questions, i was met with a huge amount of denial and the typical "but i cant be a system, i dont have the symptoms!" while being oblivious to the symptoms i did have that hinted towards it. i wasnt "shocked" persé, i was shocked in the way that i knew i had symptoms but still denied myself the chance of saying "maybe what happened to me really was that bad", if that makes sense.

i am by no means far in this. ive just started therapy and i have been trying to figure things out for a mere 5 months now and i am by no means close to understanding everything. so do take this with a grain of salt. and we have actually had to accept things for like 3 times now because everytime we got overwhelmed, someone came and made us forget things again.

please dont pressure yourself in having to discover this and dont let your friends pressure you either! something like this needs time and you have lots of time and its better to come to an informed and calm decision than doing harm with a rushed decision. just try to research for now and keep an open mind!

also id advice you to look for a professional if you really think this could be a possibility.

i hope i could somehow answer your questions, if you have any more questions, please ask, we're a little "out of it" today so it could be that i forgot to answer something.

[screampied]

daily dose of me yapping, and i want to say there is a reason i am this talkative, i’ll explain once i show myself, hihsidhdjdbjdbd.

OH, something happened last night that got me doing that lil thing with my eyes, y’know? twitching. YOU 🫵 interacted with a post of mine, and i was like “FUCK THEY FOUND OUT” but that’s good we good you were just appreciating one of my masterpieces 😁😏

ok, going back on track. i am a full supporter of scream theme you know, cause it just makes sense. and i also think you would be able to create a really good content for the boys as ghostface. in fact, who do you think fix the mask the most? for me it’s choso, idk just makes me want to pounce on him, the image of him with the mask, messy hair and a knife… sigh.

THE RANT, I LOVE IT. you are absolutely right. you see i am kinda of a hater of new generations of films, because we learn through the og characters to be more smart and what to look out for, while the newbies are a bunch or arrogant useless shits, and we have to deal with the directors trying to sell them as a better version. EXHIBIT ONE, halloween. it was… it was something. YESS scream 6 redeemed itself a lot, specially in this thing i just mentioned. for example, sam and mindy pissed me off on the fifth, but i fell in love with them on the sixth, and the characters had such a grown. chad is kinda my fav, i love the guy that is just supposed to die but never does. AND HIMBO??

i do hope she comes back, because she is the soul of scream, i can not think of scream and not think of her. still, new directors nowadays taking over this sequels (or, for example books like grrm) they just keep missing to catch the real essence of the thing, so if she does come back, it tends to lean on the side of me not enjoying it. idk, at first i didn’t liked her on the fifth, something was missing, but i hope it does not go like that this time. like i said, the six was good, so if they keep like that, it might.

also, the actress for sam was fired, right? because she supports palestine, and i think jenna too? i don’t remember much, but i hope they come back asap, otherwise it’s going to suck. and i mean changing actress won’t do them any good, cause they both carried a lot.

YAYAY, car races are so cool. you go to one and i repeat 🫵 bad bitch. i remember this one time i was friends with a boy that lived next door, and he would come to my house all day, and he brought some tapes of car races and i was wonderstruck by the girls that wave the flag, with mini skirts and crop tops, my mom turned to me and said “don’t ever date a racer” THANKS BUT IM NOT LISTENING. there is something about a guy with a helmet (oh, shit. the mask kink is mentioned again) and a nice looking car, but the girls? sigh sigh sigh. when i was obsessed with fast and furious, i would only stare at them.

hate anons are laughable. i was an editor on instagram some years ago, and i had this person that would literally clock in on my anon app to daily be a bitch. it was fucking funny because i knew exactly who they were, and when i went to talk with them, they got so calm and like “i’m sorry” like stfu give me that energy. ever since then, i don’t get offended by anonymous hate. this person is weak and likes the power of being hidden, but in fact, it has no power whatsoever. it’s just…stupid?!

anyways, hope you have a great day!!! and do some fun stuff!!!!

oh, question of the day, favorite book and favorite color?

nut anon

HIIIII NUT ANON 😙

PAHAHAHAH REALLY. i remember i was binge reading fics last night and maybe i stumbled upon you 🤔. tbh i literally can’t remember what i read BUT I FOUND YOU (kinda not really) omg. the suspense is killing meeee baefy. what are the odds hehe. IM SURE UR WORK IS SSOOOOO GOOD u seem so sweet i’d honestly love to be ur moot whenever ur ready to reveal yourself 💓💓.

yeahhhhh man. same here, i love scream downn. but tysm :’) UGHHH JUST IMAHINGINF ITS GONNA BE SO SEXY im such a whoreee for ghostface its crazy. ur so right, id say choso but def maybe even suguru too ?? it’s always the dark haired boys idk 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. dare i say toji also.

SO REEAAAAL ✋🏽. i hated the newbies expect mindy bc that’s pookie and chad, chad grew on me. also ofc jenna too, and i like same a lot more in scream six. CHAD UGHHHHHH he carried, the core four uughghgjgjgk my babies. seeing sam snap yet again was so cool to see, i kinda want her to be ghostface, but that would be predictable. a girl can dream tho </3

and omg !!!!! i stumbled across a neve interview and it’s confirmed she’s coming back for scream seven AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOTHER. im so glad i wonder how it’s gonna play out. yeah !!! i heard the actress for sam got fired all bc she supports palestine like really? 🤒 good for her for using her voice, i think jenna left on her own because she also supports palestine and supported her. i’ll miss them sm but good for them !!!!

I WENT AND IT WAS SAAAAUUR FUN. i saw a sukuna styled car and i almost crashed out. it was so hot, i’ve got such a deep love for sports cars 🌛🌛. PFFF REALLY. i wanna date a racer, they give such good vibes eheh. GUYS WITH HELMETS AND GLOVES AND >>>> yes. ur so right ab the masks. and the girls too ???? YEAAH

bye that’s so embarrassing. do they not have anything else to do 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️. like whaaaat that’s insane, daily is just so lame. what a bore. good for u for confronting them bc ew

THANKSSSSPOIKIEEEEE 💓💓💓 you too !!! hope you had a lovely day <3 and oooh um favorite book would probably be any hunger games book or the war that saved my life. favorite color hmmmm rose gold !!!!

[bigboytimes]

Rewiring old beliefs is actually so draining

Like the beliefs I have around wanting to have scars that look actually horrific, like I want scarring WAY worse than what I have now or ever had, and I hate it so much when they flatten and change colour and grow smaller, as if they were never there, as if I never hit beans or styro or fucking anything, as if I never went thru the pain I went thru and did what I did,

Like the fact I kinda deep down want people to see them and be shocked and have this very specific reaction that only exists in my fantasy mind… come to think of it even when my scars were at their worst nobody ever reacted like that

In my fantasy mind being visibly hurt is a good thing because then people might care for you, and all I really want is the experience of being fawned over as if I was seriously injured, or something like that, along those lines

And of course that’s not the reason I usually hurt myself but last time I did it was because I wanted worse scarring I want my scars not to fade away, and I was just trying to like unpack why I would care so much when it’s just skin and who cares, and why would it upset me so badly that I’m HEALING and getting BETTER isn’t that something to rejoice over!?

In reality my parents just got mad at me they didn’t pity me for anything like fucking ever until way later but then it was more about their pain and less about mine, which is what I was referring to last time I discussed this with myself and idk if that was on this blog or in my journal

And in reality the only other times anyone has EVER noticed or brought it up have just been kind of weird and uncomfortable and not really something anywhere near that idea of a “pity party katharsis” that’s all charged up in my fantasyland. Probably because it doesn’t exist. People don’t see scarring and start being like “OH MY GOSH YOU SWEET PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY - IM SO SORRY YOUVE BEEN THRU SO MUCH YOU POOR THING - I PITY YOU SO MUCH - I SYMPATHIZE SO DEEPLY YOU POOR CHILD- HERE LET ME ROCK YOU IN MY ARMS AND TELL YOU HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE AND LET ME SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION AND KIND WORDS - LET ME BE THE FANTASY PARENTAL FIGURE YOU ALWAYS FELT YOU WERE MISSING” like that’s not real that doesn’t happen. Might as well bottle feed me too right?

That’s not how it works. My parents were angry. They were ANGRY. And then they were sad, but not in a way that was… me-focused. They were sad for themselves I guess, I had to comfort THEM. I had to be like, don’t worry you’re not a bad parent. (Don’t worry, you’re not a bad parent, it’s actually me, I’m fucked up, I was born fucked up, I never stood a chance… :,( ) That didn’t feel good. Even the love of my life, was sad in a way that wasn’t… it wasn’t this fantasy reaction that doesn’t exist. It never will be that, I have to let go of the idea that people will show me care and try to “save” me when I appear hurt.

It’s not REAL it’s a FANTASY, like those images I would play in my mind to try to achieve the same feeling, where I was a different person in a different situation, where I could be a boy and I could get hurt or bullied or be abused or otherwise mistreated ( which is kind of disrespectful to people who have actually been thru shit like that) and then happen across a Good Samaritan and be comforted and reassured and told all these nice things and adopted (accepted forever to be loved forever even with my flaws) and HELPED when I was crying and saved and … pity party katharsis. Is there a real term for this type of fantasy?

For the longest time I wanted to be able to cry and have someone show actual genuine concern instead of anger or dismissal.

I think that’s where this fantasy idea comes from. That plus seeing in movies and films, how people come to the aid of someone who is sick or hurt, how people worry, how they fawn over the hurt child, how they want to make them feel better. A longing for an experience I never had, combined with a misunderstanding of that experience, because I never had it, how could I understand it, how could I have a healthy idea of it?

And then I held onto that unhealthy idea that developed because I thought it might help me, I thought I could be brought out of this darkness that I was being kept in,

And I used to think it was my fathers fault but now I don’t think it was really anyone’s fault, it was a combination of factors and “just how things went” and everyone was trying their best but I just needed better.

I needed too much, was the problem. Always seems to be the problem with me :( that was actually the reason I had to try to kms when I was like 14 but I never did even get the pills and by then it was like not even something I wanted to do anymore but I really did feel like a total parasite and sometimes I still feel that burdensome and shameful. And in a way, I AM burdensome. Doesn’t mean I am a parasite or I don’t deserve to live, but I can be a burden, I do need a certain amount of attention and care, like any pet. I’m working on providing things for myself more. But I’ll always be autistic and I’ll always be traumatized and I’ll always be a tranny and I’ll always be this and this and that. I’ll always be complicated even when I become strong and healthy, I’ll always need a bit of extra. I hope my husband doesn’t worry: he provides everything I need already, and he IS all I need, even when I am learning to use self regulation, he is still my everything, he doesn’t have to regulate me or deal with my outbursts to be providing me what I need, which is just his love. I need to stop with the outbursts actually

I needed what they COULD NOT provide me even giving it their 100 percent. At least I know my husband CAN provide that and does it all the time :3 but I would’ve so appreciated it when I was 3,4,5,6,7,8, all the way up until I met him :P

(Wow awesome I tore my genitals in the same place again must have been while jacking off that’s awesome that’s so pleasing and amazing (no it’s not it’s awful!) and on top of that teeth hurt I just had a heart thing acting up like fuck )

[physicallyherementallykissingmen]

in advance,,, sorry,,, thought I would write some thoughts I had about my oc and arthur out. again sorry, so cringe, so sorry, so so so sorry. IM SORRY OKAY. IM SORRY. god damn you soren for saying I should post this.

cw for implied(?) self harm, canon typical violence, murder, kinda gore, past child abuse, arthur shelby sr. is a bitch, animal death? idk, everyone is unhappy, not just my character, ptsd too? it’s not said but incredibly obvious, no beta read we die like john, also cringe :(

THIS IS SO BAD I AM SO SORRY

thinking about parker always having the feeling that arthur wasn’t built or cut out to kill. even in the war he could see how his fingers shook around the trigger of his gun, he would stay up until morning hearing him sob as quietly as possible from the cot next to him. the few times he’d try to offer comfort to him at the late hours of the night (or early hours of the morning) he’d play it off as a nightmare or something, getting out of his ‘sleepy’ state as slowly as possible to give arthur time to regain his composure. he’d play coy as he offered him a cigarette and a light. they’d talk of anything but the hell they were currently in. parker would wait arthur out some nights, as tired as he was he would will himself to stay up by occupying himself with a newspaper he’d picked up while passing through a town or burning ash into his skin as he ‘accidentally’ lost grip of his cigarette , at least until arthur finally fell back asleep.

even in birmingham when word was spread of how arthur murdered a young boxer in the ring, parker knew it wasn’t a killing of pride or ego. parker knew what had happened because whatever god who had let this happened knew that he’d done the same.

he still doesn’t know where he was, he barely knew who he was when it happened. all he knows is that he was down some dark alleyway, being followed a few paces behind by some drunken man who claimed parker had pickpocketed him. he did of course, but he wasn’t and still isn’t one to admit when he’s in the wrong. when the man caught up to him, yelling swears and insults at him, parker had remembered the distinct sound of a pistol reloading from behind him. And for the first time since the war (maybe even adolescence) he remembered what it felt like to go into a blind rage.

it was just as it sounded. he couldn’t make out much of what he was seeing at all, just some light from a nearby lamppost illuminating the alley.

as much as he didn’t remember what he saw, it only heightened every other sense. he heard every hit he landed on this random man who had the misfortune on catching him on such a night as this one. he heard the sounds only become more wet and dank the more he wailed on him. he felt his hands covered in blood, the unmistakable smell of iron burned into his nostrils.

he wasn’t sure when he pulled the pocket knife strapped to his ankle out, but he knew he was too far gone to stop.

when he looks back on it during quiet moments of the day, he knows the man didn’t want much from him other than his wallet back. but in that alleyway he knew that the man was going to kill him. so of course he had to kill him. as he lays in bed at night, especially while arthur is still out, not laying beside him, he knows killing him was an understatement. when he found his bearings after he’d tired himself out to the point he could no longer inflinct any sort of damage to the man who was no longer moving or making an sound below him, his vision returned to him. the mental image of the man’s face and neck still makes him refuse meals to this day.

that night validated that arthur wasn’t killing to kill in the ring that night. he killed out of fear for his life.

parker’s sneaking suspicion that arthur wasn’t made to kill was only confirmed by a drunken tommy at the garrison one weekend. parker wasn’t sure how they’d gotten on the topic of arthur, but tommy confided in the blinder before him. he told him of how he remembered the first time their father took arthur hunting for rabbits as a young boy. he remembered how arthur returned home. his older brothers bloodshot eyes and red nose unnoticeable by the fact he was beaten black and blue. he’d heard it from his mother before arthur could pull himself together well enough to say what happened before bursting into tears again. while on the hunting trip, arthur begged and pleaded with his father not to kill the rabbit they caught.

tommy added on that about two years back, arthur made an offhand comment that for begging his father not to put a bullet in the rabbit’s head, he was the one who had to.

////////////

ITS BAD IM SORRY.

also sorry arthur......

not putting tags, don’t want anyone to know this exists.

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Calliope, Roxy Lalonde

Meat, page 19

JADE: so you see janes neoliberal austerity measures—

JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2

JADE: and here in figure a-6

JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie

JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!)

CALLIOPE: ^u^

JADE: —will no doubt lead to a whole bunch of ugly societal backlashes

JADE: not just in economic terms but on a number of other more serious vertices that weve been lucky enough to avoid on new earth so far

ROXY: u dont say

JADE: i DO say!!!

JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader

JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them

JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way

JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!

ROXY: and u think karkat can do better?

JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance

JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far

JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!

JADE: and!!

JADE: that’s my pitch!!!!

CALLIOPE: i’m...

CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?

JADE: oh

JADE: yeah sure

CALLIOPE: any preferences?

JADE: ummm pumpkin matcha if you have it

CALLIOPE: of coUrse. i’ll be right back.

JADE: soooo..........

JADE: what do you think?

ROXY: hmmmm

ROXY: well i gotta say

ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all

ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out

JADE: what????

JADE: why not?!

ROXY: i just dont rly

ROXY: care about politics that much i guess

ROXY: also this election is all kinds of personal

ROXY: i mean if i came into ur house and asked u to make some grand political w/e against your bff

ROXY: would you be all

ROXY: oh yea totes sign me tf up

ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends

JADE: siiiigh let me guess

JADE: dirk got to you first

ROXY: not even

ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao

ROXY: but dirks not the one running

JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes?

ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit

ROXY: shes got more moxie and ambition in her pinky than the rest of us got all together

ROXY: shes been planning this for years

ROXY: but shes yknow

JADE: ruthless? :B

ROXY: *fragile*

ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings

ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch

JADE: you mean like....... the condesce?

ROXY: wow ouch

JADE: im not just imagining it though, right???

JADE: you see it too

JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history

JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof*

ROXY: is that what you guys think?

ROXY: u and dave and karkat?

JADE: well...

JADE: yeah

ROXY: well janes not perfect

ROXY: and idk if shell be a good president

ROXY: but shes not betty crocker

ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings

ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter

JADE: fiiiiine

JADE: i understand

JADE: callie what about you?

CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU.

JADE: :(

CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest.

JADE: yeah

JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you

CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!

JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!

JADE: hehehe roxy youre so lucky to have her

ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”

JADE: oh

JADE: oh!!!!!!

JADE: oh wow!

JADE: im sorry i didnt mean to be uh... culturally insensitive?

JADE: have i just been stupidly calling you a girl for years like a big fat dummy??

JADE: oh nooooo! im such an asshole!!!!!

CALLIOPE: yoU are absolUtely not an asshole!

CALLIOPE: i didn’t mind being called a girl. i still don’t really mind, it’s jUst not exactly... accUrate.

CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided.

ROXY: yea...!

ROXY: m-me too actually

JADE: you??

ROXY: o yeah we are both a “they” household now

ROXY: package deal thing

ROXY: things r nonbinary as fuck around here

JADE: really?

ROXY: yup

ROXY: well

ROXY: i mean thats probably a dumb and bad way to say it dont tell anyone i said it that way rofl

ROXY: but yeah thats about whats goin on

ROXY: wow that felt good to say aloud man

ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out

JADE: its ok

JADE: i dont wanna make you uncomfortable

ROXY: i know

JADE: but i am curious!

JADE: if you need to talk about it i mean

ROXY: maybe

ROXY: callie and i have been talkin about it a lot

ROXY: unpackin all kinda baggage w/ their alien stuff and my human stuff

ROXY: and so i got to thinking

ROXY: what even is gender

ROXY: amirite lol?

JADE: oh yeah

JADE: that makes sense i guess........

JADE: so youre uh

JADE: not...... “doing gender” anymore??

ROXY: ya i guess not lmfao

ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe

ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right?

JADE: right

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

CALLIOPE: —er were entirely inflUenced by my time watching earth.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um...

CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly.

CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy.

CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here.

CALLIOPE: it’s all so very circUitoUs and arbitrary.

ROXY: yeah exactly!

ROXY: like when u think about it...

ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens

ROXY: which is totally FUCKED

JADE: sure

ROXY: i mean what am i gonna do

ROXY: get married and pop out 100 bbs?

JADE: uh... no???

ROXY: exactly

ROXY: i mean once upon a time i guess i thought about that

ROXY: but i dont think its what i really wanted

ROXY: i just liked the idea of me and dirk makin some smart ass awesome kids together

ROXY: cuz i liked the idea of dirk

ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e

JADE: your kids ARE pretty cool

ROXY: i KNOW right?

JADE: personally im a big fan!

JADE: i...

JADE: i.........

ROXY: jade?

ROXY: o shit

CALLIOPE: is she okay?

ROXY: idk

ROXY: get a cloth from the kitchen! and some water!

CALLIOPE: okay! i’ll be right back!

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi I asked you earlier about if I talk to you about something, so, I've been a fan of the 1975 and Matty himself since november last year, immediately I got obsessed haha, started a having page, and bought the ticket for their show, like half year ago, this was something that let me go through a lot of bad times,i was thinking about it everytime I was feeling done with life, I thought it's going to be the best day of my life, I was waiting for it, imaging how will it go, like I thought it's going to be crazy for me, but right before the show I had conflict with my mom about how will I get there, I went with her but she wasn't feeling good, It was super rushed because I didn't know how and if I'll get there, I wasn't really mentally prepared, I didn't have time to be happy and excited about it before, all I was feeling was stress, while I was there I met some people that were distracting me, Was trying to record but all the footage is useless because my camera was broken, I wasn't fully present in that concert, I wasn't fully there, I didn't fully enjoy it, I feel like I ruined it for myself, could be the only time that I was able to see them ever, and I ruined it, I don't feel good, excited like it was fun like I just seen fucking Matty Healy on stage and WTF is wrong me what kinda fan and person I am, i am being really sad and depressed today , feels like a whole half of year was pointless and went to waste idk im sorry for this being so long but I wanted to talk to someone about it, how am I fan and have all these feelings but feeling nothing about the concert that I was sorry if it's too much Hope it makes sense

Awwww, honeyyy I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of hugs 💗💗

It sounds to me like your feelings aren’t necessarily about the show or the band or the moment, but about the rough day that you had that night. Which makes total sense to me. I’m almost scared to go with people to my show in August just cuz I don’t know how my brain will handle trying to socialize AND be absorbed in the show. And, I don’t know about your mother, I hope you have a better relationship with her than I do with my mom, but if mine was there we would just end up stressing each other out and it would 100% ruin the moment.

You’re a fan of the boys, yeah, but you’re also a human being and you can’t control how you feel so why judge yourself for it, you know? By all accounts, you had a crappy day. And it’s hard to be mindful and present when all that has happened and was happening around you at the same time as the show. But you still got the ticket and went even though you had a difficult day, and that means something! And, hey, I’m almost certain you’ll get a chance to see them again. They don’t seem like they’re ending the tour any time soon. And now you know what to expect/prepare for and you know to prioritize your peace of mind over anything else when the opportunity comes again.

So, what kind of fan are you? The human kind. The kind that has a full complex being and life. All of which can get in the way sometimes. That’s totally normal. I bet even Matty has those days. Where he’s excited to preform cuz he loves us and loves his job but has whatever else going on in his life as well. And George was looking “angry” the other day or whatever it is that people were saying. Everyone has moments like that and it doesn’t make you any less of a fan. I bet Matty Fuckin Healy would 100% understand. We all definitely do. Don’t be so hard on yourself, love 💗

[saitolover]

🐱 jumin’s route thoughts!

note that it’s been a few days since ive completed these endings / dlc so my memory might be a bit shaky of the entirety of them. i have some screenshots to go off of but that’s it lol. these are just some of my random thoughts and such that i have about jumin’s route when coming back after many years into the game again.

the reason i originally chose specifically to do jumin’s was because 1. i only have time for one route due to college, & 2. i remembered that he and zen were my favs back then. originally i was going to also write about the bad ending 2 & dlc but i lazy! lmao.

tldr; this is just my personal thoughts as i went through jumin’s route, feel free to add / comment anything. ^_^ i talk a lot about his character/past/actions, kinda like an analysis but not really since i am a dumbass & might be incorrect about some things. but in conclusion, jumin is very Complex character and can have some 🚩 tbh but he is very much still my little scrumgus i love jumin So Much. <3 he needs some tlc, a big hug, and also therapy. past me had great taste.

long thoughts under the cut! spoilers ahead for jumin’s route & slight spoilers for his bad ending/dlc.

📱COMMON ROUTE

just wanted to say, it was extremely nostalgic to open up the game again after many years! i first started playing in 2016 (!!) but probably played again during quarantine in 2020ish (cannot remember). i came back in honestly not knowing ANYTHING about what would happen in jumin’s route. my memories are extremely shaky abt the game other than the main plot points involving v, rika, seven, & saeran. but my knowledge still was kinda low lol.

v’s birthday art is super pretty btw!! loved the homescreen image of it. the max speed feature is very nice, i probably should buy it since it’s only $3 but oh well. maybe if im really into the game? anyways, chatting in the messenger again is so weird lol it’s such a throwback and i definitely missed these guys’ shenanigans. literally zen complimenting himself so much was hilarious for some reason?? 😭 yoosung being a relatable college student, me feeling so bad for jaehee <3 girl does not deserve to be overworked like this all the time ?!?! and jaehee also complimenting zen’s looks as well as being his biggest fan LMAO. seven doing seven things (do not need to explain further). and jumin being the more serious and cold guy who also loves his cat and doing whatever he wanted sometimes. and saying random shit HAHA. which is sometimes a personality i would like in otome games (See: Saito). so im here like hm, i think i see why past me liked jumin! he probably warmed up to the mc and got really cute and romantic or something? and not at the way everyone kept on saying jumin might be “androgynous” LIKE you guys. do you mean aromantic or ???

📱 JUMIN’S MAIN ROUTE

okay first of all: sorry in advance if theres some random gaps between what im writing/events im talking about. idk i only have some screenshots to work off of and what i remember with my bad memory? but moving on, here’s my thoughts as i went on with jumin’s route.

okay, so glam choi and sarah are a thing in the story now. jumin is just annoyed - seems like he’s only encountered women who try to take advantage of him / only try to speak with him as if theyre wanting to get something in return, like money, as i believe the story framed? and how he was genuinely sad about his father trying to make him get into a marriage, especially because he was one of the only ones who had treated him with “love” in a way where he wasnt having a relationship where an exchange or reward would always be expected. his past with his mother (which i will might talk about more eventually) also shows how jumin has been raised to be more methodical and just. like a robot honestly, raised with no love and any time to express his emotions after being so… emotionless? he was never really taught that feeling, and ig it could be difficult to “teach” if he’s never really experienced much love or time to find times where he could be happy, sad, etc. etc. when he’s at home all the time surrounded with expectations and studies to prepare to become a ceo. okay kinda went off and mentioned the dlc anyways, but whatever. there’s a lot more to jumin’s character, which makes him complex imo and although i dont think i’ll be able to cover everything, just wanted to say that there’s been a lot going on for him, but it still cant completely excuse his actions at times!

and please note this is just my opinion on a fictional character, i would be glad to hear any thoughts anyone reading this has <3 this is a little personal analysis/thought post and there could (and could be a high chance) that i am wrong about some things! :] so take what i say with a grain of salt bc tbh im writing this all in one try and probably wont reread what i have, mainly a big fat ramble / word dump here!

i remember lowkey being confused about how fast mc & jumin’s relationship escalated at first bc it went from yeah just casually chatting in the casual route to everyone saying that mc has been the one causing jumin to smile more, to speak out more openly about his actual emotions for once, etc. but im not complaining, i still loved how jumin would say he would call mc just to hear their voice, saying it would calm him down and feel better. and other stuff along those lines. also why is his deep voice so hot.

biggest and greatest shoutout to jaehee being the best employee ever??? like, she’s been working overtime ALL THE TIME, doing extra work for jumin like researching about the scandals, having to reschedule things after jumin acts unreasonable 💀 while trying to keep everything in order. she deserves a raise, a promotion, a break, a vacation. like, i am picking every option that is defending her or telling her to take a break or that she’s doing great!!! i love jaehee and i hate to see how she never gets rest or food :[ not healthy, i was SO GLAD that she was able to finally get a vacay at the end of jumin’s route, but now im like, girl deserves to quit honestly if she was constantly treated like that at work 😭 which im glad it what happened in her route, which also makes me want to play her route next but i have no time. and now i will shut up and continue writing.

okay, so i remember i was kinda loving jumin again at this point lol. i remember just liking how he became more romantic & the times where he would be jealous. a lot of the phone calls he had were also great, and it was cute that he made pancakes for breakfast, & how he read a bedtime story like. pretty cute stuff!

LMAO and then i was like hm the red flags are kinda showing! but i am a bull and i love chasing red flags! jumin wanting mc to only look at him - you got it sir. possessive jumin! the kiss scene was surprising - honestly very unexpected bc he just kissed mc so randomly ??? at least he said that he was originally thinking of asking mc for permission or something like that? but yeah soap opera scene that i was like hm. then he was like “you can suck in all my emotions. you can be mine.” and i was like. oh. elizabeth’s disappearance is REALLY gonna make a difference here, huh. for the first time, jumin realized that he never really had someone like mc before? jk, he had rika and v with him back then where he was also open to them, but i feel like the biggest thing was how vulnerable jumin was atm? like, he’s in this fight with his father, who he had always been close to. rika and v are both not around to consult with. elizabeth had gone missing. he was beginning to refuse to listen to rta members and instead begin to protect who he had left, similar to the way he had described how he felt better after seeing elizabeth in a cage as opposed to when she was walking freely. he definitely needs to speak to a therapist himself. but without support from others, it probably was what he saw as one of the only solutions he can turn to? this was the first time he’s started to really open up and speak about his feelings bc he’s always just. never had a chance to be able to express them or be able to explain them ?! never really was taught these things, though it seems like he was also aware that it wasn’t right. lots of things going on showing that yeah, he definitely was not doing okay emotionally in the first place, pretty much!

this is kinda getting long now?? and im a bit lazy to continue writing so much more, so ill stop rambling too much and cover more. the way jumin was getting extremely possessive too was worrying like 🫢🚩 he really said we have everything in this penthouse! stay here forever and ill protect you from the outside world and its dangers! let me own you! and i was like sure, take me away when i did the bad ending. sorry for indulging ? BUT DAMN it was very unsettling to see him say that he would OWN mc like ??? ayo what!

and then all the rfa members were like ah. hopefully jumin is having a Very Healthy And Normal relationship as they speak in the chat room. while jumin and mc enjoy a nice dinner with jumin speaking about how great it would be for mc to stay home and try on all the things he had for her while never returning to the apartment! day 2 with jumin on his home - any way out? who knows! zen rlly was like. GET MC OUT OF THERE.

everything that happened in jumin’s route was just ESCALATING 📈📈📈 okok but from my screenshots, it begins to show how jumin is like. Yeah. i am pretty Bad and Dark for doing this and having all these thoughts that he doesn’t really know how to address ? emotions that he’s never had before coming out like hello! and he’s like, wtf do i do with you guys? he’s having a hard time out here. very open to mc who is, atm, the only one who could help him sort out his emotions & depending on the choices you choose, could really determine what jumin ends up doing with his emotions and how much he can control them? and like, mc can either feed into a more healthy relationship where jumin begins to feel like he does deserve love and that these feelings might stem from how little he felt in the past. or mc could feed into a much harmful/toxic relationship as seen in the bad ending. !!! very interesting huh. also shows how much jumin has begun to depend on mc after everything that happened in these last like. two days.

now im like 💀 this is the most ive ever written for a review so far yet, i literally just dumped out some random thoughts i had on 4 hours of sleep, and i should def be sleeping rn!! but it’s okay!! sorry if i wrote anything that doesn’t make sense in these last paragraphs ??? i wont cover the seven and yoosung at mint eye hq to save time/space.

on a more light hearted note: yay!!! jaehee finally gets her vacation!!! jaehee gets justice!!! also watching zen and jumin bicker in the chat room is honestly one of the most hilarious things in this game. jumin in the chat room with mc plus another member usually ends up with the member becoming a third wheel and also very annoyed when jumin and mc are like i miss you <3 you’re so cute <3 ily <3 and every single rfa member is absolutely begging them to just privately message each other at this point lmao. AND NOT @ JUMIN HAVING THE WHOLE MARRIAGE THEME GOING ON HIS RFA ACCOUNT???! 😭😭😭 but i would happily marry jumin. so yeah at this point it was pretty much guaranteed i was getting the good ending, didnt get the bad ending during the route so we are here with jumin being very romantic in the chat room! 🫢

💙 JUMIN’S GOOD ENDING

homestretch! we made it to day 11 of the party!! the new home screen again is sooo cute. i didn't know they changed it up when it's party day! also looking at everyone, realized that jumin is So Cute. i love his looks. just a very handsome guy. love him for that. i am going to make this extremely short because i am now tired of doing all of this analysis and deep thinking. i want to make funnies of jumin and my headcannons of him now. scrumgus. i don't even know if that's the right word i'm thinking of but the energy scrumgus gives describes my love for jumin yay! it was nice seeing the rfa meet mc for the first time in person, and it was also great that the entire party was voiced! it felt weird hearing them talk tbh its like. i only know their voices from their little emojis. and the occasional phone calls. okay but that is getting off track. loved how dramatic jumin was for this party. he invited glam choi and sarah, and had this Great Big Speech that sarah was totally in love with, and instead it ended up being about mc. lmaooo. i cannot remember but was jumin the one who chose mc's dress? or am i just remembering wrong? idk. i also need to read the after ending (after forgetting that it existed for a second!)

🐱 FINAL CONCLUSION

wow. jumin's route was definitely a very big and twisty roller coaster. i wish i had completed the common routes before replaying jumin's route again just to be able to see and compare how emotionally open jumin was in his route compared to in other routes? like, we get a glimpse of just your everyday business jumin in the common route, but idk. i just wish i got screentime(?) of everyone in general too!

i love jumin a lot. after living his life filled with these expectations of being a ceo. being the perfect employee (which i also found interesting to hear about how everyone had admired/looked up to him at work. he's definitely skilled at what he does, and he barely mentions anything about that himself!) and then the way he began to actually open up? love that for him.

i love jumin a lot actually. and it was pretty nice for me to look over and think about everything after completing his route in general. even though my memory is garbage (tbh had to heavily rely on the screenshots i took), i liked being able to take the time to kinda add in my thoughts on everything while i typed this all out. literally did not do any thinking at all. i have no brain or patience for that and i rarely write this big ass essays or whatever this ended up becoming??? nice change. idk if i'll ever do this again, not my style and i had to force myself to finish this. also am Nervous of posting this T_T. but yeah! i love jumin. i am a jumin stan. and again, if anyone would like to correct me or add on to anything that i have written here, that would be very cool with me! review that got pretty rushed in the end is finally done hooray!

[parksunghoonbro]

come here》 p.sh {pt.1}

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<3 pairing: chaebol!stepbrother!sunghoon x chaebol!fem!reader

<3 genre: a little angst, VERY suggestive (borderline smut?)

<3 warning: Idk smut? not yet but like kinda pseudo-incest

<3 word count: 863

<3 summary: park sunghoon, the most popular rich boy around town, who you are super attracted to becomes your stepbrother. what happens when you realize that he is also extremely attracted to you?

<3 xtra stuff: fyi Sunghoon is 20 here and Y/N is 18. They went to the same high school but they are both graduated now. (1st-year y/n=3rd year sunghoon) It’s my first fic so it’s pretty bad. IM SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU BE ABLE TO MAKE THE STORY FLOW SMOOTHLY. Yes, there’s going to be another part. I feel like this will go on for a while just like smutty parts and that’s it. Was not intending this to be a series so yeah. The chaebol part hasn’t been really incorporated into the story but don’t worry it will be!

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How does your mom move on so fast? She’s is getting married and you are finally meeting her fiancé and his son today. You love your mother. You really do, but it has only been 5 months since her last break up. It’s not like she’s been in 10 marriages. This is her 2nd marriage, but it is certainly not her 2nd relationship since your dad. You sigh as you put on the dress your mother chose for you. To be honest the dress is super pretty, so you have no complaints. Looking at yourself in the mirror one last time you leave the room and head downstairs. Your maid greeted you and you gave her a small smile. “Y/N! You look very nice honey.” Your mother said with a big smile on her face. “Thanks mom. Are we about to go?” Your mother gave you one last look and answered,”Yes we have to leave now or else we’ll be late.”

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Arriving at the restaurant your mom tucks a strand of your hair behind you ear and grabs her bag. “Let’s go honey. Don’t worry you will like him and his son is about your age you guys should try to bond.” You sign after hearing your mother, ”Alright mom let’s go.” Putting a smile on your face as you walk in arm linked with your mother’s. “Honey!” You hear as you step into the private room. “You must be Y/N! I have heard so much about you. Sorry my son is in the restroom he should be here any moment now.” The man with a kind smile said. “Nice to meet you! Excuse me but I also have to use the restroom. I’ll be back soon.” You answered with a smile. You quickly made your way to the restroom. After using the restroom and touching up a bit you came out and returned to the private room. When you walked in you were shocked. Your eyes quickly met with Sunghoon’s beautiful eyes. His eyes slightly widened but they went back to normal to fast for you to notice. “Y/N come sit!” Your mother said as she patted the seat next to her, right in front of Sunghoon. You gulped as you took your seat. Sunghoon looked at you and smirked. You looked away and continued your dinner. “Kids we have something to say.” Sunghoon’s dad said. You and Sunghoon turned to look at your parents. “We will be moving in together next week. So Sunghoon and Y/n you guys need to pack your things for the move, but the thing is that we will be going on a business trip to manage the merging of the companies. You guys will have to move in by yourselves. Of course, we can send movers if you prefer that.” For the first time the during the whole dinner you heard Sunghoon say something, ”It’s fine I can move me and Y/N’s things alone” Your mother simply answered, “Alright. The wedding with be in two months. You guys also have fittings and appointments scheduled for the next two months. Since it will be a busy time you guys should get some rest.” After what you guys’ parents said, you went home.

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{Time Skip: Moving Day} Your mother had left for the business trip. You and Sunghoon have become closer and that has only made your crush on Sunghoon worse. Sunghoon texted you that he would be at your house soon to help you move. When he arrived at your house you almost passed out. He looked way to good in his outfit. “Y/N!” He yelled breaking you out of your trance. “What are you thinking about? You were so distracted.” You got nervous and blurted out, “Nothing! Let’s start.” He chuckled and said, “Don’t worry about it tiny. I’ll move everything. Seems like you’ve worked really hard already.” You swear you were going to combust right then and there. Tiny. TINY. That nickname has made you go crazy. You knew it wasn’t right. Your crush on your soon to be stepbrother, but what could you do? You can’t help how you feel. “Wait in the car and I’ll be done in 30 minutes.” He patted your head. You nodded and waited in the car.

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-At the new house-

After you got settled in you threw yourself on the bed and sighed. You remembered that you had left something downstairs so you went down to grab it. As you were getting closer to you room you heard noises coming from the room next to yours. Sunghoon’s room. The door was cracked open a little so you peaked inside. You were shocked from the image in front of you. It was Sunghoon jerking off while moaning your name. You suddenly felt yourself get hotter and started to rub your legs together. His moans got louder as he reached his climax and you saw his cum shoot out of his large cock all over his veiny hands and his chiseled abs. All of a sudden Sunghoon looked up way to fast for you to be able to get away and smirked at you as he said, “Come here, baby.”

[sukirichi]

hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x10

Thoughts While Watching

Spoiler Alert!!

YO- THE- WHAT IS THAT-

Pls the Ryan puns, I can’t even lmaooo. Wholesome Nancy? PLEASE LMAOOOOO OK OK THIS GIRL IS MAKING ME LAUGH. oh no- the straw: SHE KNOWS. ms reporter is gonna DNA test nancy.

Is aces contact info for his bro “long lost brother”? GEORGE IS A RENTAL CAR? Pls. George has abs- I think I have a crush ngl. Bess knows- ODETTE IS CRUSHING ON BESS. Nick and Bess are about to be sister wives no cap.

Apparently he is Tamura, not Tamara... I’ve been calling him the second this whole time- was no one gonna tell me?! Oh enemies to lovers 250k words I see how it is. JOKING, JOKING. We don’t ship nancy and tamura.

“I thought I smelled bacon” OH PERIOD GIL. Sass king, I love. Oh Nancy getting all up in his space is something else. Good to see that Gil is rockin with ghosts, as he should.

“Typical waitress occurrence” okay, Tamura is kind of growing on me. He’s a little funny. “Whatever do you mean, another?” Ace stop trying to lie please. HOW OLD IS TAMURA- oh he’s like a history guy... I really just thought he was like an eternal being for a sec. “the supernatural detective and the basic one”

OMG BESS IS FALLING FOR ODETTE IN GEORGE’s BODY. and nick is seeing a contractor. (Awkward thumbs up). I STILL THINK GRANT IS A MURDERER. pls Nancy’s lil cheesey smile is so cute and funny.

Ryan coming off all smoldery, okay Riley smith. Own that swag.

Bess falling over made me laugh. Odette coming thru with the skating skill. Odess? Bessdette?? I love. Ace’s brother??? ALCOHOL- ODETTE. ACE HELP A GIRL OUT HERE!!!?

Tamura got left at the alter. NO WAY I WAS RIGHT LMAO sorry Tamura lol I know you got left at the alter or whatever but I like being right. PLS HES SO SARCASTIC ABOUT THE DRESS THEORY NO- AHAHA HES KILLING ME. (poor word choice but the point stands).

OH NO I SAW THIS NICK CLIP ON THE IG- IF THIS BITCH LIGHTS MY MAN ON FIRE I STG. NAH NAH NAH HES STUCK IN THERE. WITH A MURDERER.

OH M G. I SAW GAY SO I SAID GAY. THEYRE IN LOVE. ODETTE AND BESS IS SO CUTE. I love the French accent too.

OH NO NICK- DON’T GET LIT ON FIRE MAN, YEAH DUH THE DOOR IS WELDED SHUT- OH THEY BUSTED THAT DOWN LIKE NOTHING. Fire extinguisher fight.

SALT AND BURN, HOES. WHY WOULD YOU BREATHE IN THE SMOKE WTF

My girl nancy just fainted omg. I’m cackling at the prospect of what’s about to happen. BESS AND GEORGE GOT ARRESTED- GEORGES HAIR. what’s going on rn. “My face isn’t working yet” MOOD.

IM CACKLING OMFG TAMURA SLOW MO- pack it up property brother number three. “Were you just waking in slow motion” MY GIRL IS STRUGGLING. she’s trying so hard. GIL TOO- OKAY BUT GIL IS HOT- “so smoldery” YES MAAM HE IS. GOOD TASTE GIRL. She’s petting him? “No seriously get me away from them” the way she said that is sending me- she’s so freaked.

FANSON RIGHTS!! NANCY NOOOO. NO NANCY. STOP PETTING GEORGE’s BOYFRIEND PLEASE NANCY. THE HAIR- THE HAIR. I don’t blame her not gonna lie, I would also want to touch his hair. “I’ll kill Annette” MAAM JEALOUS MUCH OMFG. “Your palms are really sweaty” ACE STOP OMFG. Wow sis snapped there omg.

They locked her... in the freezer.

He FOUND the brother- ACE HARDY ACE HARDY ACE HARDY PLEASE. Ace half Hardy? Okay we’ve paused the show so I can do some math: so Ace’s dad was the Marshall for mom 1 and father to brother. And also father to ace but different mother. Okay we got it. Bess and Ace are such a cute friendship.

Aw FANSON YAY. “We’re gonna work on it okay? And we’re gonna get better at it.” PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT OMG. o nancy ruined the moment.

“She’s okay. Just a lil boy crazy” RYAN IS SO CONFUSED OMG.

Nancy having a breakdown in the freezer is a mood. Is she about to stab someone- NO SHES BREAKING OUT OF THE FREEZER. THEYRE ALL THERE OH NO. why’d she go over the railing like that I’m laughing so hard- SHE JUST BODY SLAMMED GEORGE OMFG IM SCREAMING LMAO

OH GOD THEY CAN HEAR GEORGE AND NANCY FIGHTING FROM THE FRONT- i love the absolute dragging that’s going on here, honestly vibes. it’s like they’re feeding a child.

The girls are fighting (Tamura and Gil) NICK JUST KICKED THEM OUT.

I thought she was gonna escape lmao. WHY DOES SHE RUN LIKE THAT OMG AHAHHAHA. oh no Tamura is... they’re gonna kiss Rn I’m gonna barf ew. STOP MOVING SO SLOW JUST GET IT OVER WITH SO I CAN LOOK AWAY PLS. oh nvm she’s good now. She just dipped and Tamura is like: what now

LOVE THIS GIRL TALK OMG. YES PLS NANCY. Did George just emoji? AW GIRL HUG. I love the friend moment here, pls the sleuth sisters are the CUTEST trio.

HIS BROTHER IS IN TOWN? PETTY BESS I LOVE HER.

aw poor Tamura... oh no omg I actually feel bad for him now :( aw besties!!! Teamwork moment here, I love. HE TOTALLY HAS A CRUSH ON NANCY AND IDK HOW TO FEEL 😭

WHAT OMG DID ACES DAD GET KIDNAPPED? That might just be an old photo I’m kinda dumb ngl

NANCY CHOSE GIL? ARE THEY ABOUT TO KISS RIGHT- yup they just kissed.

RYAN IS SMILING WHEN HES TEXTING HER OH NO. HES GONNA GET HIS HEART BROKEN 😭

DAMN IT VAL. NO NEED TO OUT NANCY AS THE GRANDCHILD, HOLY CRAP.

Okay, so the episode is over, but I KNEW one of them was gonna fall in love with a ghost. KNEW IT! But on the down low, Bess and Odette are cute.

Sister:

Literal GASP at Ryan’s photo shoot. Like sat up like she rose from the dead and gasped SO LOUD- Yeah we’re both Riley smith groupies, what about it.

(When they locked nancy in the freezer) “I gotta ask. Is the meat hook still in there?”

Here are some more (ignore the contact image please lmao the vibe in my phone is random pics of my friends/family):

So the only explanation you really need is she LOVES Riley Smith, and is definitely crushing on Ryan lmao. She literally GASPED so loud at model Ryan.

And she’s not a huge fan of Tamura x Nancy. Tbh idk how I feel yet.