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almalvo · 2 years ago

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STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

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jasmines-library · 2 years ago

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Not All Is Lost - Chapter 5

Summary: Saw Gerrera finally enters the scene. Reader and Cal free the Wookies to continue on Cordovas quest...

Warnings: Minor character death, mentions of/brief capture, scars.

Word count: 3.2K

Notes: Im sorry this is such a slow burner! I promise it'll get more interesting soon! Hoping to get more chapters out regularly but school and illness are kicking my ass. The next one is super juicy, it’s building up ya’ll.

Previous • Story Masterlist

“Woah. Tell me we’re not running that blockade.”

Three Star Destroyers came into view as you slipped out of hyperspace and into the black nothingness above Kashyyyk. They were looming; an overpowering symbol of the Empire’s presence. Greez hadn’t been wrong when he said the Empire was keen. You understood now his reluctance to come here in the first place.

“Oh only as a last resort. I’ve rigged the Mantis’ transponder to emit Imperial signals.” Cere told Cal, “Hey Greez?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep your power signature low and act like we belong. And kid, keep an eye on the scanners,”

“Just like Bracca. No sweat.”

Cal reached up to modulate the power signature, but Greez slapped him away. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could practically see him rolling his eyes. He scolded Cal briefly before returning to trying his best at flying casual. As the Mantis began to crawl past another Star Destroyer and inch closer to the Jungle Planet, leaning forward, you squinted at the scanners.

“I don’t see anything.”

“They’re occupied with something else on the ground.” Cere said from behind you, “We’re clear.”

The Mantis descended down into the swarm of green, and it was obvious that even on the surface, there was a heavy imperial presence. With stormtroopers stationed at every landing point, you were forced to scour the planet for a more discreet place to land. The sky was thick with industrial smog, and swaths of Kashyyyk’s ancient wroshyr trees had been cut away with nothing but upturned dirt and ash. You all continued your flightpath towards an enormous tree in the distance. It dwarfed the rest of the forest. Surrounded by mountains it reached out high and far across Kashyyyk, its green leaves a painted signal of hope and security. The Origin Tree was the most sacred place to the wookies, many made treks to the top to prove their honour, strength and bravery. And it would soon wither. If the imperials got their hands on it. As Greez prepared to land, a Tie Interceptor ship roared past - a second ship in hot pursuit. The Mantis shook violently as it was thrown slightly from its axis. Greez clutched onto the steering wheel as he hauled the ship back into place, cutting off the warning sirens that screamed in his ears.

“That was a close one, kid! Aren’t you supposed to be watching the monitors?”

“Guerrilla fighters! Wookiees and off-worlders ambushing an Imperial convoy. “ You yelled back to him, fiddling with the silver controls on the scanners to try and get a better view at what was happening in front of you. To your left Cal was hopelessly flicking switches, trying to tap into a feed in hope of learning some more useful intel.

“Walkers approaching their position.” Cere said as she monitored the ground.

“Tarfful could be with them.” Cal said hopefully.

“Tarrful could be anywhere!” Greez retorted, “Like deep in the ground, like we’re gonna be if we get caught in that battle down there.”

Cal glared at him, brows downturned and mouth slightly agape,“We don’t have any other options, and…and they’ll die without our help. “

“So what’s your plan?” Cere asked.

“Sabotage.” He shrugged as he rose from his seat, you used the force to pull your saber to you from where it rested on the table before attaching it to your hip as you followed him, “We used to scrap walkers on Bracca. I’ll just jack one.”

Greez let out a loud, high pitched laugh, “Ha! Get a load of the kid. He thinks we’re back in the Clone Wars!” His face dropped however when Cere told him to get near the walkers. Cal let out a smug grin and Cere was hot on your tail as you made your way to the main room of the Mantis. The hatch of the ship hissed open and you were swarmed by the blistering winds that raged around outside. With the door open, the fighting from below became amplified. As you peered over the side of the metal frame, Cal already hesitantly inching his way towards the edge, Cere gripped your arm firmly.

“Do me a favour. Stay alive down there?”

A smile creeps across your face, “I can’t make any promises.”

You turn and take the plunge off the side of the ship, and are engulfed in water.

~~~~~~

Cal emerges slightly after you, his hair thick with a sheen of water. BD-1 takes his place on Cal’s shoulder as you swim towards the walker, its monstrous frame causing the water to ripple and upturn as it trudges towards the land. From down here, the fog was even more suffocating, the mountains barely recognizable through it. The sky erupted in flashes of colour as a Tie was shot down, crashing into the side of the nearest walker. It careened dangerously to the side as the shrapnel from the ship flung into the water. When you got close enough, you grabbed onto the vines that traversed the side of the armoured transport and began to haul yourself up. You swung side to side with the momentum of the vehicle. You wondered how long these walkers had been here. The condition of them suggested that they could have been the ones used in the Clone Wars, muddy and battle worn, however you couldn’t be 100% sure. Once you had finished scaling the top of the walker, and a blast from a nearby rebel ship took out the trooper guarding the hatch before he could see you, you found yourself quickly inside the transport. It was dimly lit, only illuminated by a red light that stretched the length of the cavity, it very much resembled an imperial base. You walked through the passage, your back hunched. Cal peeled up the vent door above you. You counted three- no. Four, troopers. The fourth one was lying on the ground. Unmoving. With a nod of your partner’s head, the pair of you leaped through the vent. It didn’t take them long to notice the humming of your sabers. Armed with electrostaffs, they swung violently at your heads, but it only took the pair of you to cut them down leaving them discarded next to their fallen comrade. You moved towards the pilot’s compartment, where the sounds of battle had distracted them enough that they never noticed the Jedi in their midst. BD-1 hopped onto their dashboard. The stormtroopers looked at him, confused, then Cal smashed their helmets together. The two pilots toppled to the ground, out cold.

“Can’t believe that actually worked.”

BD let out a series of proud beeps and you let out a chuckle as you slid into one of the seats.

“Okay...uh, throttle…” Cal murmured to himself as he tried to figure out how to control the AT-AT. A holo of a trooper fizzled onto the dashboard.

“”Report! What’s happening over there? You’re in violation of Imperial protocol Z-207. Stand down or we won’t hesi – “

“Can you shut that guy up?”

You stared at the buttons before you. They were different to the ones back on the Mantis, however they had some resemblance to some Jedi transports that you were trained to use back when you were a padawan. You flicked the red switch on your left and the connection shut off.

“Let’s do this,” You grab hold of the lever and slide it forwards. The walker judders onwards. You turned the walker toward another, unsuspecting AT-AT, and Cal unleashed a salvo of firepower. Unprepared for the attack, the AT-AT went down quickly. He let out a celebratory whoop as you pressed forwards and began terminating the imperials on the platform below, turning what would have been a mass loss for the rebels into a win. Suddenly, there was a knock on the windshield. A man wearing green body armour – definitely not imperial – had swung down on to the walker.

“Hey! Who are you?”

“Someone who just brought an AT-AT to the table. Who are you?”

“Someone making the Empire angry.” He said “We’re advancing on an Imp landing pad up ahead, wouldn’t mind fire support. “

“Copy that,” You said as he swung away from the windshield and back to the frantic action below. You turned the deadly vehicle toward the landing pad, “Let’s make them even angrier.”

The AT-AT marched inexorably on, blasting away Imperial defences until they were reduced to ash and fragments of what they were before. Eventually, an Imperial shuttle flew out to stop your pursuit – hardly nimble vehicles, the AT-AT and shuttle simply stood and exchanged fire. The walker took heavy damage, but the shuttle’s shielding gave out first. It’s fiery wreckage hurtled directly at the pair of you.

“Kriff!” Cal yelled, “Can you do anything?”

BD trilled and you shook your head, frantically searching for an ejector seat or an emergency shut down. But nothing. The walker buckled and lurched forwards as the shuttle ploughed straight into the front of it. The glass spiderwebbed. You were thrown from your seat, skidding backwards until your head hit the wall. You groaned and braced yourself for another jolt. The AT-AT crumpled to the ground and Cal was tossed next to you at the back of the cockpit. The entire front of the walker had caved in, where you were sitting mere moments ago now a fiery mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“You just wrecked a perfectly good walker.” The man in front of you was tall, well built and quite young. Perhaps not far from his thirtieth birthday. Despite his appearance he was soft spoken and a clear leader. “ You got names?”

You introduced yourselves to him, he took them in with a tentative nod, extending his hand for you to shake. “Saw Gerrera. What are you doing on Kashyyyk?”

“Looking for somebody.” You told him. The three of you began to walk towards what was once an imperial landing pad. Around you were other rebels attending to the wounded. “What are you doing here?”

“My companions and I came to Kashyyyk to disrupt Imperial supply lines.”

Overhead , the Mantis touched down. Cal gave them a wave and the group of you, along with a handful of Saw’s insurgents made your way towards it.

“So, who are you looking for?”

“A Wookie Chieftain named Tarfful.”

“Tarfful is impossible to find. There’s a reason he’s evaded the Empire this long. “

“He’s a freedom fighter?”

“He’s THE freedom fighter. A symbol of the Wookiee resistance, striking at the Empire from the Shadowlands. “

Cere and Greez exited the Mantis and were quickly introduced to Saw by Cal.

“What do you want with Tarfful?” He asked as he furrowed his brow.

“Jedi business.”

“The Jedi are dead. “

“Not all of them.” You extend your saber for him to see, detaching it from the loop on your belt. It glistened under the sun which made it easy to see all of the intricate carvings and dips in the metal. Much like you, Cal too held his saber in front of him, as if to further prove a point.

“You get those off of corpses?”

Cal glared at Saw, his eyes like piercing daggers, “My master gave it to me.”

The pair of you replaced your weapons back in their hilts as a brief, but awkward moment filled with hatred and grief passed between the five of you.

“ This pad supports an Imperial refinery that runs on Wookiee slave labor. Intel suggests that some of the captives there are guerrilla fighters.” Saw told you.

“We should help them. One of them might know how to contact Tarfful.” You said.

~~~~~~~~~~

A shrill scream cut through you. The all too familiar, purple haze of the purge troopers electro-staff pulsed before you as it cut through two Partisans. They laid crumpled on the floor as the armoured warrior turned to you. Though his face was covered by his helmet, you could see the smug, shit-eating grin on his face. Your lightsaber was quickly ignited and in your hand as you took a defensive position next to Cal. The trooper twirled his staff.

“Jedi? This is what I've trained for.”

He lunged forward and struck in an arc towards Cal, who’s saber quickly parried the attack and pushed him back in the direction he came. You took a running leap at him with your lightsaber held high before striking him on his right shoulder. His grip faltered as he staggered back briefly. His moment of weakness didn’t last long however, as he quickly slammed his staff on the ground, knocking him to the ground. The three of you were lithe as you danced across the room, each making skilled attacks that were easily blocked. You thought that perhaps if the purge trooper had been force sensitive then perhaps he would have made a great jedi knight, but then again arrogance was never much tolerated in the order, and he would have more than likely ended up as he was now; a discarded heap of nothingness.

The pair of you continued through the refinery, using the passageway Saw unlocked for you. Resistance was stiff, and you even encountered a second Purge Trooper, as well as errant wyyyschock that clambered through the new openings in the refinery’s walls, but ultimately your Jedi training prevailed. Your power was growing. After relentlessly forcing your way through the compound, you finally made it to the Wookie’s cellblock. It’s dark and all of the walls are consumed by metal bars. When a Wookie growls, seeking Cal’s attention, he squats down next to him as you fiddle with the buttons to begin opening the doors, BD giving input from his perch on your shoulder.

“Hey. We’re here to free you. You’re not alone.”

Behind you, a blast door slid open and a massive Imperial security droid stode in and picked Cal up roughly by the back of his shirt. It threw him across the terminal and he tumbled across the ground. The droid turned to you as you drew your lightsaber.

“Visitation is not permitted.” It reached for you with its iron grip but you rolled underneath its arms, slicing its legs when you passed. The droid stumbled forwards into Cal’s saber before crumpling to the floor. The blue of Cal’s saber dimmed as he returned it to its holster and went back to the task at hand, you kept your focus trained on the blast doors. After a moment of fidgeting with the Imperial terminal, the cell doors shuddered open with a groan and at least a dozen wookies clambered out, roaring gratefully. One of them wrapped you in a tight hug. You chuckled.

“Glad to help,”

Some of the Wookiees pried open the main door to the prison area, where a group of Partisans were waiting for them, led by the woman who helped map the entire operation: Mari Kosan. She raised her blaster triumphantly, with her face lit up in a grin.

“Who’s ready to fight some imps?!”.

~~~~~~~

The way back to the ship had been even more eventful than the one from it. Once you had freed the wookies you had to weave your way back through the refinery, defeat a walker and a platoon of troops, slightly downhearted that you were unsuccessful in finding Tarfful. Not all hope was lost however. One of the wookies you had freed, Choyyssyk, who was part of Tarful’s crew but ended up getting captured on a mission, agreed to help the pair of you find the Chieftain, however it could take some time. You were also stopped by Saw Gerrera. He had asked you to join his cause but as much as you wanted to, you couldn’t abandon your mission. The entire future of the Jedi depended on you and Cal. You could tell he was disappointed, but he nodded and informed you that they had found the safest route into the Shadowlands, should you ever need it. The Partisans were sad to see the Jedi go as you followed Cal into a dark metal elevator, and began your descent. Cere commed in.

“I’ve been monitoring Imperial communications and I picked up something. Project Auger has been reactivated. The Empire may be close to finding another Zeffo tomb.”

“Looks like we still have work to do.”

BD-1 beeped in agreement then the three of you continued, now entering a labyrinthine basement of the refinery.

It was Cal’s voice that broke the silence between you.

“You think Saw and the others will be okay?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, even though through the force their future was clouded, “He’s been fighting for so long…He knows what he’s doing.”

Cal hummed.

“D’you know that during the clone wars he was trained by the Jedi?”

He turned and furrowed his brows.

“During the Clone Wars, when Onderon became part of the Confederacy, he formed a movement to take back control of the system. He sent to the temple for help and they sent a handful of clones and Jedi including General Skywalker to help train them,” you saw him visibly tense at the mention of the former Jedi. “His younger sister Steela was appointed leader after some time and eventually they faced the separatists in the capital. The jedi weren’t allowed to intervene and Saw was tortured. They won, eventually, and he was appointed as their leader.”

“What happened to Steela.”

“She was killed.” There was a brief pause before you continued. “But he didn’t give up. Everything the Empire takes from us only makes us stronger. Each injustice spurs others to join our cause and spurs us to work harder. These have been hard years, Cal. We’ve lost comrades, friends, family, to the Empire. These are dark times., and yet the fire still burns. Hope…still burns. The Jedi are not yet lost. We are not yet lost. You’ve seen what the Empire has done to Kashyyyk and yet they are not yet lost. He knows that sacrifices must be made…and so must we. Sometimes it seems that we know that better than everyone.”

You rubbed your arm subconsciously, running your fingers along the scar that ran from the inside of your elbow to the centre of your right palm. It had been a deep wound; cauterised as soon as it had been given. You finally exited the refinery. The Mantis, it’s crew and a ragtag group of wookies were waiting for you on the platform. You watched as Cere relaxed, knowing the two of you were safe.

“Good to see you back two in one piece. Mari Kosan contacted us. We know you couldn’t find Tarfful.”

Your eyes found the floor near your feet. You didn’t need to be reminded.

Greez rolled his eyes and layered his voice thick with sarcasm, “I love risking our lives for nothing. It’s fantastic.”

“It wasn’t for nothing. Mari and Choyyssyk will come through.” Cal told him.

“I like your optimism. We could all use a little of that now and then.”

“Hey, I’m a positive guy, too. I’m positive that if I die, I’ll be very upset.” Greez said. You couldnt help the smile that crept onto your face.

Cere placed a hand on your shoulder. “You did good, Kid. We might not have found Tarfful yet, but you saved lives today. Don’t forget that.”

Next • Story Masterlist •Main Masterlist

#star wars #star wars x reader #writing #angst #star wars fanfiction #cal kestis #cere junda #greez dritus #fallen order #jedi fallen order #Jedi fallen order x reader #Star Wars x you #star wars x y/n #star wars x gn reader #gender neutral reader #slow burn #wookies #kashyyyk #saw gerrera

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ifdragonscouldtalk · 4 years ago

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Come back to fanfiction plz. I really liked your story childish with the avengers and Tony getting deaged. Would love to see it finished someday!

Im not sure if you mean fanfiction.net or fanfic in general, but either way i have some bad news for you. Childish will never be finished. Ive moved on in my life and my writing and the fandom has moved on too, and i no longer feel comfortable or motivated to continue that story. Ive debated deleting it but ive left it up because a lot of people found joy in it. I'm open to remixes or continuations but honestly it wasnt all that popular.

I also doubt I'll ever really return to avengers fanfictions. The fandom was too distressing, the recent movies too sad, and honestly it got to the point where i was considering it a job. It wasnt fun for me and i felt obligated and stressed most of the time and got very little reward for it. All things considered, my star trek fics do better than my marvel ones, and even they have a 10% or less interaction rate. If you only got paid for 10% of your efforts, would you continue that job?

Ive gotten comfortable where i am because st doesnt demand my time or energy. Marvel did, constantly, and when i wasn't writing i was getting messages about what i should be doing or what people wanted me to do. I wasn't even a popular writer. Thats just the fandom. How toxic is that?

Not to make you feel bad or anything. I appreciate your message and the sentiment in it. Im forever grateful my writing gave you enjoyment. But im not going to be going back to that environment. Im enjoying being comfortable and healthier where i am now. I think the marvel fandom needs to consider how many authors they have driven out with their presumptions.

So yeah sorry to disappoint you love. It seems ill never live up to expectations

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sicklylittlesnowflake · 6 years ago

Note

BLESSED OKAY! SO! After Shiro is brought back to life and everyone returns to earth, reuniting with their families, Lance continues to be wracked with guilt every time he looks at Shiro. He is beating himself up over the fact that he couldn’t help Shiro in the astral plane and if it wasn’t for Allura, it would’ve been too late. He struggles to look Keith and Shiro in the eye and the guilt starts to have negative effect on him, to the point where it makes him ill. Cue Keith taking care of him (1)

(Anon, great ass prompt?? I loved writing this! i havent written voltron in a while, so please forgive any rustiness but aaa!! I’m back in vld hell lol)

He’d dreamt of this moment for so long.

He dreamt about leaping into his mama’s arms as they reunited, cuddling with his hermanos and hermana and his tios and tias and his sobrinos and sobrinas and his abuelo and abuela. He dreams about the moment he feels while again. Lance fantasises about this moment and the absolute sunshine that would reign upon him as it happened. But when it does actually happen he feels so empty and broken and it feels so wrong.

He shouldn’t be celebrated. He’s no hero.

Lance has caused so much pain. When he walks into his living room he sees his abuela’s altar with his picture next to his papa’s. When he looks into his family’s eyes he knows that there’s something in them that has been broken and it can’t be fixed. It can be taped back together but the damage has been done. It can never be quite whole.

Lance did this to the family who worked to the bone, all scraping just enough cash to send him to the Garrison. He looks at his beloved mama who left her entire life behind for him, moving to America for the sake of her precious mijo. She looks much older, and her eyes are heavy.

Lance is at his breaking point.

His heart can’t take much more. In fact, he was surprised that it took as much as it did. Lance had definitely felt extreme lows before, there’s no denial in that, but this has to be the lowest he’s ever felt in a while. His first heartbreak, feeling incompetent, feeling left out and unwanted, feeling so so alone, especially with Keith gone for so long, a near death experience he hadn’t quite processed and most of all, a tremendous feeling of guilt that seems to plague his brain.

Every time he so much as moves he can feel the guilt rushing through him. He can’t pour himself a glass of water, because his hand is shaking so much. He feels a little bit sick every time he so much as glimpses over at Keith or Shiro.

He’s always known he wasn’t the brightest; and especially next to super geniuses like Pidge or Hunk. But he never thought he was this stupid, so stupid as to not even piece together what Shiro was trying to say to him. It was so painstakingly obvious when he thought about it, and it nearly cost his dear friend his life. And he hates himself for it.

In his dreams he sees a world where it was too late. He watches Shiro cease to move, he can hear Keith’s agonising screams as his leader is hauntingly still. Void of life. He can vividly see his friends’ tears and wails in grief for their friend. All because of him. And when he wakes his pillow is wet and the room is dark and it’s nowhere near time to get up, but he can’t fall back asleep, and all he can do is fall deeper and deeper into the swirling abyss of guilt he finds himself further and further entangled in.

He’s numb. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t eat. Lance had been most vocal about missing home, but now that it’s finally here he cannot feel a thing.

He’s so angry. He doesn’t understand why he can’t just feel happy. Lance told himself he would finally feel happy when he got home; and why is it that he still feels so blue? Was there any hope for him? Maybe this was all there was for him.

Lance woke up on an air mattress on his bedroom floor, and momentarily he felt warmth. He feels the sunshine basking on his face coming through his window, and he looks up to see the glow in the dark stars plastered onto his ceiling. He saw his Star Wars and Star Trek posters still perfectly in tack. No one touched his room since his disappearance. And that’s when the warmth began to conduct away from him and he’s filled with that cold feeling again.

He got up slowly, looking if Keith was awake–finding his bed empty. As he had no family to reunite with on Earth, he decided to come with Lance–besides, he wanted to finally try out the Varadero beach Lance kept on raving about. Then Lance became aware of a pounding headache and the hot and cold tidal waves swashing up and down his bloodstream. He shivered violently, feeling absolutely miserable. He knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, considering the maximum two hours of sleep he was getting per night.

Lance forced himself up slowly, coughing harshly into the crook of his arm. He shuffled into his kitchen to find his Abuela hovering over Keith and continuously offering him more and more food, to which Keith was trying to politely refuse. It had been their fourth day now, and his Abuela had already fallen in love with Keith.

“Ay, mijo! You are so skinny! You need more food in you, no?” She insisted, a plateful of eggs in her hand.

“O-oh, no m'am, I’m really fine..Thank you so much though–”

“Abuela, él está lleno!” Lance chimed in, trying to rescue Keith, cringing at how raspy his voice was, as he sat himself down in the chair next to Keith.

Keith blinked at the croaky nature of his voice, and the two semitones his voice seemed to drop.

“Oh, fine!” His Abuela gave in, giggling a little as she leaned in to give Lance a quick kiss on the to of his head.

“Uh, Gracias,” Keith piped up as she began to walk away.

He raised an eyebrow, “..So..you’re not going to poke fun at my pronunciation?”

Lance jolted a little, having zoned out and looked at Keith, before a pang of guilt hit him and he couldn’t look at him, only being able to see the sorrowful Keith in his dreams, “U-uh, yeah, crappy accent, Keith–hh–wait, sorry..”

Lance turned away from Keith, cupping two hands around his face to four ticklish, soft yet harsh sneezes.

“Salud!” His mother called out as she placed bacon on her son’s plate, booping him on the nose as she did.

“Gracias,” Lance smiled half heartedly, missing his mother and abuela’s cooking dearly but feeling so sick he didn’t have an appetite.

Keith looked suspicious, but also concerned, “You alright, man?”

He nodded, trying to stay calm and avoid any worry over him, it’d just make him feel worse, “Yeah, yeah–my nose is just bothered by sleeping with you all night. Well uh, next to you–near you–in..in the same room as you.”

Keith rolled his eyes playfully, but looked away from Lance with a slight blush on his face, a silence falling between them as they continued to eat.

“Mijo, you’ve barely touched your food!” His mother exclaimed, “Is there something wrong with it?”

Lance shook his head, smiling weakly, “No, mama, of course not–I’m just taking it slow because I know I’ll eat too much too quickly!”

“We don’t want a repeat of Marco’s birthday dinner,” Veronica giggled as she passed by the kitchen, starting to get ready for their planned beach day.

His mother seemed to be happy with that, and left to get ready too, leaving just him and Keith. Lance could feel Keith trying to sneakily eye him up, and he could feel the anxiousness creep up, fearing that Keith was starting to resent him for not realising what he had nearly done to Shiro.

“You sure you’re okay, buddy? You look..kind of pale, you get much sleep?” Keith asked quietly.

“Yeah, I slept like a log!” He lied.

“Look..Lance, you haven’t been able to last two seconds without zoning out, look at me, please?” He asked gently.

Lance began to fiddle with his hands nervously, “Im fin–”

He burst into a sudden coughing fit, whipping away from him quickly and doubled over into his arm, the coughs hurting his chest. He began to feel a little lightheaded from the lack of oxygen entering his body.

Keith patted his back firmly, until the coughing eventually subsided. Lance had been so drained and exhausted by the fit he leaned against the kitchen chair, panting and trying to regain a steady tempo with his breath. Whilst Lance was weakened Keith placed a cool hand on his forehead, “Quiznack, Lance–you’re burning up! You need to head right to bed!”

“No!” Lance hissed–sharp as a knife, causing Keith to retreat just a little.

Lance looked at his hurt expression, and sighed, feeling his heart fill with self loathing and regret. “I’m..I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Keith–I didn’t mean to..to yell at you like that. I just..”

He pressed his lips together to try and suppress any emotion. “We’ve only..got a week together and I can’t ruin this. I ruin everything and I promised Sara and Geronimo that I’d build a sandcastle with them and I cannot stand to hurt anyone anymore,” He said quietly, a stark contrast to the lively and bubbly Lance that Keith knew. This Lance was deflated. And tired.

Keith softened a little, feeling very torn. Lance did only have a week with his family. It was precious time. But he was genuinely so sick, and he was worried. “God dammit Lance..Fine. But if you get worse..we have to come home, okay?”

“I’ve gotta get dressed,” Lance said hurriedly, speaking with Keith only making him feel worse and worse. Keith’s concern was not warranted, he didn’t deserve to be cared for and worried over, after everything he had done.

“Wh–wait, Lance, I was gonna ask–” Keith tried uselessly, but he was gone.

“..what you meant by ‘I can’t hurt anyone anymore’”, Keith finished to himself, sighing, unable to hide the concern etched onto his face.

Lance had barely heard Keith walk into his bedroom, all dressed for the beach.

“You should take something, at least,” Keith suggested, completely taking Lance off guard and breaking his trance.

He jolted a little, “Huh? No–I’m fine.”

He twisted and angled his body away from Keith, three ticklish sneezes into his hands.

“Bless you–look, Lance, uh..”

Suddenly the door busted right open, revealing two excited and bubbly children.

“Lance!” They squealed with delight, bouncing up to him and giving him a tight hug.

“Hey you guys!” Lance beamed, a sudden shift from his more solemn, dull exterior just then, suddenly back to the bright and bubbly self he usually was. But Keith knew there was something not quite right. Something was missing. He wasn’t really whole.

Lance began to push them off him gently, stifling a cough against his sleeve, “C'mon, guys, we’re wasting precious sunlight! Let’s go!”

The two children took a hand each, skipping merrily out of the house, one of them grabbing for Keith’s hand.

Sara smiled brightly at him, “Are you Tio’s friend?”

Keith managed a small smile back, “Yeah, yeah I am.”

He wished he could be. He seemed to be drifting away.

Lance could feel the rippling of the ocean. He felt light. He felt graceful as he swam across, feeling the oceans warm embrsce against his fingertips. It hugged gently at his legs as he threaded, looking upon the vivid blue sky. He finally felt at peace, where he finally belonged at last. All he could hear was the sweet swirling of the water, and all he could see was the light sparkling on its beautiful blue entirety. For a second he felt whole.

He let himself relax, for the first time in weeks, floating upon the surface of the ocean and blue and letting his burdens fall away for a second. He felt nothing but tranquility.

And suddenly a sudden tickle at the back of his throat and he forced himself upright, the water splashing against his face as he doubled over into a forceful, violent coughing fit that seemed to stab knives into his chest every time he coughed.

He felt a pair of hands holding him steady, the one of the hands left him to rub up and down his back soothingly.

“Lance, are you okay? Maybe you should sit down..” Keith suggested softly, his eyes so kind that Lance wanted to cry.

He didn’t understand this. He didn’t understand how because of him Keith nearly lost one of the most important people in his life, and yet he still showed him so much kindness. He wondered that maybe this is some twisted joke life is playing on him, tugging at his heart strings and causing that deep hole of guilt to only widen more. Lance didn’t deserve this.

“I’m fine–” He sneezed twice. “I just..drank some sea water.”

“Lance! Come here please!” Geronimo called out, waving over to him, having built the foundations to their sandcastle.

“Coming!” Lance replied, giving Keith a small smile as he began to swim towards them, and began to help them build their sand castle.

As he sat next to them, he was overcome by another two ticklish, forceful sneezes he directed away from them and into his arm.

“Salud! Are you okay Lance?” Geronimo asked.

He managed a weak smile. “Yeah! Someone here just reeks!” He joked, reaching in to tickle his nephew.

Despite his feigned brightness, he felt absolutely miserable, on a physical sense and a mental sense. He was angry that he couldn’t just suck it up just for a little while, devote himself to his family and just have a good time. He had started to wonder if he ever could again, or if it was too late for him.

But he was given some sense of hope when his niece grabbed for his hand in the sweetest way imaginable, and he felt some warmth ignite within his heart and he knew maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for him.

Time had begun to pass and a fiery lustre began to cascade down onto Veradero beach. It was quiet, save for the sound of seagulls and the tides coming in and occasionally the sound of his family’s laughter.

As the day began to fade so did Lance’s energy, and while he could feel like his blood was boiling it was like his skin was covered by a layer of bitter ice. He watched the sunset, and the way its blazing hues rippled against the ocean. It was magnificent.

He could feel the warm rays of the sun soaking into his skin, and he felt at home again. He felt safe. Secure.

Then his mind took a turn and he wondered what Shiro felt like trapped in that astral plane. Perhaps he felt unsafe. Insecure. Trapped in this dark, dark place. Maybe it was cold. And bitter. And he was all alone.

A wave of anxiety and guilt crashed against his heart, causing him to tense up and claw at the material of his shorts. He bit his lip, his breath beginning to pick up as that blanket of guilt began to engulf him once again.

“Hey man,” Keith greeted as he sat down next to Lance. “Quiznack, that sunset is really something, huh?”

Lance looked up to see him, and his nose was so sensitive the slight shift in pressure caused his breath to hitch. He had been sitting with his knees up, so he buried his face into his knees and sneezed harshly four times, a very forceful and sickly sounding fit compared to his usual tickly, soft fits.

Keith frowned, “Bless you. That doesn’t sound too good, Lance.”

Lance glanced over at him, but he couldn’t bare to look at his kind, warm gaze. It made him feel like he was deceiving him.

Keith tensed a little, and sighed, looking away from Lance and into the sunset, “Alright. Just tell me, what did I do?”

Lance blinked, “What?”

He shifted to face him, “Tell me what I did, Lance. You can’t even look at me. You’ve been so odd around me lately. What’s going on? Look, if you’re mad, you’re mad–and I’m sorry. But I can’t fix things if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m not..I’m not mad. And..it’s not your duty to fix,” Lance murmured, feeling uncomfortable now he was on the verge of revealing the more vulnerable side to him.

“What do you mean? Of course it is. If there’s something that’s bothering you about me then I have to fix it.”

Lance bit his lip hard as tears began to well up in his eyes, beginning to cloud his vision, “I..It’s me. It’s all me. It’s all, stupid me who can do nothing but mess everything up. You can’t..can’t fix this.”

A few tears managed to spill from his eyes, which he aggressively wiped away with humiliation.

Keith was alarmed, “Wait..what? What are you even talking about, Lance?”

Lance didn’t even know what came over him, but the waters had been pushing the dam too long and it was about time it burst.

And it all came crashing through.

The tears couldn’t seem to stop falling down his cheeks, “Shiro. He tried telling me. Only I was too stupid to see. Pidge and Hunk are out here cracking and creating algorithms daily and i can’t even figure out a message that is point blank in front of me. We are meant to be saving lives and I nearly lost Shiro his because I was too stupid.”

“God, I don’t even know why I’m here half the time, in this seventh wheel that nobody asked for–I have nothing to offer and the only thing I have ever contributed to the team seems to be mistakes everyone has to go and clean up.”

“Every time I see you or Shiro I feel like my heart is being stabbed because every time I’m reminded by what I nearly did to you and him. And yet you’re still so so nice to me and you’re so soft and so gentle and every time I look at you I feel sick to the stomach because you don’t even realise what you’re looking at.”

Keith couldn’t do anything else but just stare at him for a good minute. There was so much just said and it needed a little while to process. Keith was in a state of disbelief, unable to comprehend how he had never known. How he had never even realised that this is how he felt. How someone like Lance could feel this way.

His brain was an absolute storm of clashing thoughts but eventually it calmed down, so he could finally collect himself, “I know what I’m looking at, Lance.”

Lance still couldn’t look at him.

“I’m looking at a guy who loves so deeply and cares so much for his team mates. I look at a guy who works so hard, goes the extra mile and achieves more than anyone ever expected from him. I see the heart of Voltron, who we certainly don’t deserve, but desperately need.”

He looked away with a slight flush on his cheeks, “I see a guy who I’ve grown to care about. Maybe a lot more than I thought my heart was capable of.”

Lance couldn’t really say much because he was still crying, and all he was capable of was pulling Keith close to him into this hug, burying himself into his warmth and clinging on to him to make himself feel safe.

“I’m cradling you in my arms,” Keith joked weakly, “You better not forget this time.”

“I never did,” Lance whispered softly.

Keith blinked, incredulous, both feeling kind of annoyed, but also moved at the same time.

But he couldn’t dwell on that feeling because he had just become aware of the intense heat his friend was radiating.

He pulled Lance away slightly, enough so that he could lay a hand on his forehead, “Quiznack! Lance, we need to get you home..”

Lance’s mother came plodding along the beach, towards them, “Are you boys alright?”

Keith shook his head, “Lance has a fever, I think–he hasn’t been feeling well all day and I think it’s just gotten so much worse.”

His mother’s eyes widened in alarm, placing a hand on her son’s cheek, worry etched on her face, “Ay, mijo, you’re so sick! You always do this..”

“I just..didn’t want to disappoint anyone again, mama,” Lance whispered softly, voice croaky and weak.

“Mi amor, you never did. There has never been a day where I have never been proud of you, now, let’s go home,” She reassured, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as Keith guided Lance to his feet, beginning their journey home.

Keith tucked Lance into his covers (after much fighting over Lance taking the bed, there was no way Lance would let his guest take the floor, and there was no way that Keith would let his sick friend take the floor–and one of them was currently stringer and healthier than the other, and they won) he laid over a cool cloth over his head.

“That feel better?” He asked softly.

“Much,” Lance muttered.

Keith absentmindedly ran his hands through Lance’s soft, messy hair, making a map in his mind of all the features of his face, gazing at him with all his attention focused on him.

“Lance?”

“Mm?”

“You know there was nothing you could have done, right? That Shiro would not want you to make yourself this sick worrying and guilting over something that was not your fault?”

“It doesn’t make it not my fault, though.”

“But it wasn’t. You put this burden on yourself.”

Keith smiled softly, “Lance, you love the universe so much you would much rather blame yourself for its horrors. It’s what makes you a hero. But you can’t save everybody, Lance. It sucks. It does, but you can’t. You’ve got so much hope and you’ve got to hang on to that, because sometimes it’s all we really have, and we can’t lose that. You need to guide us through the dark.”

“You gotta look after yourself too, buddy.”

Lance smiled feverishly, “I feel a lot lighter.”

He fell asleep shortly after that. Keith did too eventually, a few hours later they woke to a harmonious melody. The lively and bright timbre of a traditional Cuban folk song.

Keith wrapped Lance up in a blanket and slowly walked him out to the family backyard where they joined in on the music. The night was alive with the sound of Marco’s maracas and Veronica’s guiro and Lance’s guitar. It finally felt like the moment he had fantasised about in his dreams. There was a milky twilight above them but Lance could feel the sunshine reigning upon them. And when he looked at Keith he didn’t feel sick, he felt so alive.

And for the first time in a few weeks he felt free.

#lance mcclain #keith kogane #langst #klance #klangst #vld lance #vld keith #voltron #whump #voltron s6 spoilers #voltron spoilers #sickfic #vld #voltron legendary defender #prompts #lance's family

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hellafiction · 6 years ago

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You make me believe in luck...(James T.Kirk x Spock)One-Shot.

Fandom: Star Trek.(mostly based on TOS) Genre:fluff,feels. Warning: Some swearing

Plot: The landing crew encounter a planet with a harmless airborne virus that makes you only tell the truth.Spock is forced to confront his illogical madness of feelings for Jim.

Note: Im new to Star Trek and I haven’t written in a long time,so I’m sorry In advance.Im also sorry that it’s a bit occ.

The mission had been a success without much trouble.The landing party had returned from the beautiful planet only what seemed to be mere moments ago.The Captain was back in his chair,shifting uncomfortably.

“Captain,is everything alright?”Yeomen asked.

James tried to ‘straighten up’,which took him a second longer than usually necessary.”I’m fine,I just need to crack my back.”

Before James had realised what he had done,the ship went into an uncharacteristic silence.

“DiG iT iN ZeRE MiISTeR SpoCK!”

The whole crew burst into uncontrollable laughter,except for Spock,who had remained somewhat stoic.

“I am your captain and you will not undermine my authority,especially In such a way!”He couldn’t hide the slight mortification In his voice,what was wrong with his crew?Was the ‘incident’ that obvious?He quickly glanced at Spock,trying to see if he was just as mortified as he was.

Seeing his Captain glancing at him,he raised his sharp eyebrows and with purposeful strides,went behind his chair and wordlessly started to massage his back,catching Jim a bit off guard.

“Mister Sp-“he didn’t get to finish his sentence,because he was cut off.

“Is this fine captain,or do you want me to ‘dig in’ harder?”Spock couldn’t help but smirk a little,which was swiftly replaced by his usual poker face.

Jim arched his back out of instinct.”I’m fine now Spock,thankyou.”His voice came out a bit breathless and it didn’t go unnoticed by his first science officer.

Spock made eye contact with a mortified Jim.

It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop,yet,none of that was noticed by either Jim or Spock.Uhura had made Sure to record this,she would have rather died than let such a moment go undocumented or unseen by Bones.

Bones had a weird gut feeling,something wasn’t right.It was unusually quiet And instead of pouring himself a drink,he found himself not-worried about Jim.

Yes,he definitely wasn’t worried,he was gonna go ahead and enjoy his drink In peace.

Or was he?

Moments after Bones had sat down,Jim had burst into sickbay.Looking unusually distraught.

Bones jumped a bit up,”The fuck,Jim?”

“Something is wrong with my crew,Bones.Everyone is acting strange!I want you to keep an eye out or run some tests.”Jim said,he had calmed down a bit,he didn’t know why he couldn’t keep his true feelings internal all of a sudden.

Bones face twisted into an ugly scowl,he furrowed his brows.”That’s just typical!”He had noticed now,”Ofcourse,the mission was too simple,wasn’t it!?”He was quick to believe Jim,this time.

“Come on doc!I want you to see it for yourself,you better solve this before something else happens.”The troubled Captain was rambling now,his body language stiff.

They both exited the sickbay,while walking to the bridge,Jim was trying to make sense of the madness,he needed Spock,his logic,his mind.He had to make sure that he didn’t imagine all of this,Bones,on the other hand,was hating life.Begrudgingly following his friend,trying to make sense and see for himself.

“Captain,are you sure this isn’t just an off day?”He hoped to god it was.Entering the bridge he quickly saw what Jim meant,a fight had broken out between an ensign and Sulu.

“Your fencing skills are absolute shit!”The ensigns stance was stiff and ready to fight,his face was twisted in a sneer.

Sulu was practically boiling with anger,”excuse you,my skills are still better than yours!Fight me you coward!”He challenged his rival,oblivious to captains entrance.

Even Jim wasn’t expecting this,his face twisted in pure shock at his usually somewhat reasonable crew,”Will you stop acting like a bunch of children and stop this nonsense!”He tried to bring back in some order with his stern,authoritative voice.

Bones raised his eyebrows,perplexed,Jim was right.”For fucks sake..”He tiredly sighted before giving out his ‘doctors orders.”I want this place quarantined!Ill need some blood samples and cell samples!”

“Where is mister Spock?”the captain had noticed Spock’s absence almost immediately.”Right,first we need to find Spock,where is he?”

“I think he went on to have a mental breakdown,Captain.”Yeomen said,only then realising what exactly she said.All colour had drained from her face.”I’m so sorry-“

“There’s no need to apologise,I think I might have an idea…”He trailed off before continuing,”I think the planet we just explored has somehow made us more honest,we say exactly what we mean.”

His revelation made sense,with all the things they’ve had to deal with in the past,there had been only one similar incident so far,but it seemed more severe.

Before doing anything,Jim needed to find Spock,his science officer might know what to do,”I’m going to find Spock,please issue a red red alert,we have no idea how far this has spread or who else is affected.”He exited the bridge,focused on his current task.

When Jim finally found Spock,he didn’t expect to find him on the floor,leaning against a wall with glassy eyes.Spock would never admit this,but the moment Jim walked in,he looked like a ‘Greek god’.He didn’t know why such thoughts-usually professionally repressed and un-acknowledged-were emerging.

“Spock,”Jim walked towards and decided to sit leaning against the wall with him,”are you alright?”He asked softly.

The usually stoic man looked into his captains eyes,not saying anything for a while.There was war in his mind,One side beckoned him to give into his emotions and say what he truly means,the other,logical side making him think of the consequences,risks of such human indulgences.Spock himself was torn because both sides were right.”I’m emotionally compromised,captain.”The slight tremble in his tone vent almost unnoticed.

Jim let out a shallow breath before scooting towards his beloved friend,”in what way?”Now he was worried,what could have made such an impact on Spock?If his theory was correct,how long had Spock been hiding this?

Spock tried to resist the invincible urge to spill his guts,he found himself quite unable to,what was wrong with him?By now he was sure that it was something to do with the planet.It had to be.He was also positive,that Jim didn’t feel the way he did,that he was doomed to this illogical madness.

Jim put his hand on Spock’s shoulder and gently squeezed it.The way Jim looked at him was the culprit to possibly the most Illogical thing he’ll ever say.

“I’m in constant war with my human side,I’m usually capable of letting my Vulcan side win,but this time it’s impossible.It must have been something to do with the planet,even logically understanding it,it’s futile.”Spock paused for a moment,he needed to gather his thoughts better before he could continue,”I know the probability of you feeling the same way is almost nonexistent,but I can’t hide the fact that I have romantic feelings for you Jim.”

Jim wasn’t expecting this,Spock’s admission sent electro shocks through his whole body.”You make me believe in miracles,Spock.”

Spock could only manage to raise his eyebrows in a questioning glance before Jim could continue.

Jim looked into Spock’s eyes with all the love he had in him,while softly smiling he confessed a long held secret.”I love you too,there’s nothing wrong with letting your emotions win,sometimes that’s all we can do and that’s okay.”

Spock was taken aback by that,he looked at Jim in barely hidden awe before taking his captains hand in his own,he hoped Jim knew what it meant,but the look his captain gave him confirmed it.Jim decided to make a bold move of his own and leaned in for a human kiss,which Spock gladly reciprocated.

“You make me believe in luck,Captain.”

Turns out they had been gone for more than an hour and they had missed a lot,their grumpy CMO had been able to take care of everything himself.The plantet’s ‘virus’ was airborne and would have passed in 24 hours if they weren’t on it for a longer period of time.When they had finally shown up,their displeased doctor had complained that ‘apparently he always has to do everything on this ship.’

#fanfic #fanfiction #star trek #tos #Spirk #spirk #kock #spock #jim t kirk #captain #kirk #jim #enterprise #fluff #short but sweet #James kirk x spock #im not ok #feels

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verdigrisprowl · 7 years ago

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Jan 20 Bevel’s Movie Stream - Star Trek: Discovery Ep. 5 & 6

Prowl was about ready to give up on the series, but then the thoroughly dislikable people being documented in this series became about 1% more likable, so he’s giving it another week.

Bevel 7:30 pm *the usual set up, a few bedraggled couches and a table of snacks, nothing fancy but it'll do* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:32 pm *Soundwave was already out and about on errands today, so instead of bridging he'll just swing round and fly right up before unfolding and skidding to a halt at his couch. Hooray for buildings still under construction!* Ratchet 7:32 pm Thriller! *pops in and immediately starts dancing* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:33 pm *And then gracefully takes his seat like he didn't just risk crashing into the damn thing for the tiniest of inefficient thrills.* [[Bevel, Ratchet.]] Bevel 7:33 pm *grins* Ratchet 7:33 pm Evening. Bevel 7:34 pm I found more of the Starfleet stuff! FakeProwl 7:34 pm *arrives just in time to miss this act of reckless grace* Ratchet 7:34 pm Heya, Prowl! FakeProwl 7:34 pm Evening. Bevel 7:35 pm *small wave to Prowl* FakeProwl 7:36 pm *hesitates, then nods. would be rude not to acknowledge the host.* Bevel 7:36 pm *internal yay* Ratchet 7:37 pm *hovers a few moments to see where Prowl will sit* FakeProwl 7:39 pm *with soundwave, as usual* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:39 pm *Nods to Prowl.* FakeProwl 7:39 pm *nods back. hello.* Ratchet 7:40 pm *ah well. he'll sit with Bevel then* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:40 pm [[You do know he doesn't have the capacity to bite.]] *Taps his visor at Ratchet.* Bevel 7:41 pm *giggles* Ratchet 7:41 pm Cute. But I'm all right over here. Tarantulas 7:42 pm *stepping thru a portal, tarantulas almost says "false" to sw's claim, but stops himself just in time* Bevel 7:42 pm ((last song and then i'll start ItsyBitsySpyers 7:42 pm *BOI* Tarantulas 7:42 pm *he'll just stick with a snicker* FakeProwl 7:43 pm *had to fight the urge to say "i would know if he was." you're surrounded by reprobates, soundwave.* Tarantulas 7:43 pm *at least sw is the only telepath in here tho, be glad for that* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:44 pm *Primus below. How is he supposed to keep personal secrets with you lot around.* Ratchet 7:44 pm *it's fine, Ratchet is blissfully unaware* Ratchet 7:46 pm *let's keep it that way, shall we? the last thing he needs is _another_ reason to.... nnnnot lust after Soundwave. that one* *look he just doesn't need to know about any aspect of Soundwave that's attractive. cool? cool.* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:47 pm *Mmhm. Sure.* [[Ah! We return to the Starfleet timeline. Good.]] Tarantulas 7:47 pm *also thanks for the amenities bevel but tarantulas brought his own seat, he's currently busy slinging it from the ceiling* Bevel 7:48 pm *enjoy, there's plenty of ceiling to hang from* Tarantulas 7:49 pm *he's set up right behind and nearly on top of prowl and soundwave, hello there* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:50 pm *Soundwave raises a feeler to offer a greeting tap and/or a hold if Tarantulas wants thought contact.* Tarantulas 7:51 pm *paw-bump the feeler* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:51 pm [[And where do they plan to GET the other... tardigrades? That they found one was a fortunate accident.]] FakeProwl 7:51 pm ((SDLFIJLJ WHY)) Tarantulas 7:52 pm If I were younger and more naive, I'd say they should clone it. Bevel 7:52 pm ((oh snap, warnings, i forgot warnings FakeProwl 7:53 pm Hm. Finally. Someone who recognizes the possibility that blaming her for the war might NOT be justified. Bevel 7:53 pm ((mention of rape, torture, violence, blood, all that goes with the TV-MA warning FakeProwl 7:54 pm ((and things straight to the eyeball in closeup)) Bevel 7:54 pm ((yes i'm soooooooo sorry FakeProwl 7:54 pm ((im ok ill live)) Bevel 7:54 pm ((i legit forgot he did that, probably to protect my own dang self because augh ItsyBitsySpyers 7:56 pm *Stretch arm across couch and settle in. He is ready to find out what's going on with the second-in-command Klingon. What is her name... L'Rell? Yes. What is she doing while the Voq Klingon is away?* FakeProwl 7:56 pm *... Would that arm be across the couch in Prowl's direction?* Bevel 7:58 pm Aw, no. I hope they find out what is wrong with the tardigrade. Ratchet 7:59 pm [[ saru's ganglia squick me something fierce goddddd. why they gotta do that. ]] FakeProwl 7:59 pm *... Is Saru going to try to eliminate Michael. Please don't. He'd like them to get along.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:00 pm *And yes it is.* FakeProwl 8:02 pm *WELL then. Sits up straight. That's a bit much for mixed company.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm *Well. He's... sort of glad that part is over. Now that he's out of the war, he tends to avoid thinking about all the times similar actions were taken during its run. And thinks about other times. ... Never mind, there it is again.* *Tiny glance. Too much, he supposes. Pulls his arm back onto his lap.* Tarantulas 8:05 pm S-Stuart. Hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm [[Hm. The little creature reminds him of Zori.]] Tarantulas 8:07 pm *chinhands happily* Tarantulas 8:08 pm *agrees, this is definitely Fucking Cool* Bevel 8:08 pm *giggles* FakeProwl 8:09 pm *... no one in this show is likable.* Bevel 8:09 pm *hopes they find a workable solution* FakeProwl 8:09 pm *no one is likable and no one likes each other.* Bevel 8:09 pm ((fun fact, Klingons have two of everything ItsyBitsySpyers 8:10 pm ((*throws bricks*)) FakeProwl 8:11 pm *it even takes the joy out of the science.* Tarantulas 8:11 pm *science IS joy, shh* Bevel 8:13 pm 😔 FakeProwl 8:13 pm *not when every single person performing it is insufferable* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm *ALARM BLIP* Bevel 8:14 pm Hey! It was just a bug. It only did what it was told 😔 ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm [[Will it be all right?]] Bevel 8:14 pm He said Lorca almost killed him. Maybe Stuart is ok then? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm *Has finished deciding that he does not like Lorca at all.* [[He hopes it is.]] Bevel 8:15 pm Ha. Tarantulas 8:16 pm *pings prowl a set of data that, if calculated, will predict if stuart died, and if not, how badly injured he'll be - all prowl need do is add his own numbers and calculate* Ratchet 8:16 pm I don't think the civilian is the spy. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm *Another alarm blip, quieter.* Tarantulas 8:17 pm You can't simply rehydrate the tardigrade, pft. See? Bevel 8:17 pm Good doctor trying to protect it. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm *They've almost killed a creature capable of calculations like those required for a space bridge. How displeasing.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm [[Why don't you believe the civilian is the spy, if he may ask?]] FakeProwl 8:20 pm *... what, is this a simulation? based on what data?* Tarantulas 8:20 pm *guesstimates* *he has a lot of zori's data* *well, not a LOT but some* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm *More than most.* FakeProwl 8:21 pm *meh. plugs in a couple of numbers before he gets bored of it.* Ratchet 8:21 pm Seven months. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm [[What of it?]] Ratchet 8:22 pm The Captain thought it was a long time for someone to survive captivity. Tarantulas 8:22 pm *ur supposed to reassure sw, prowl, tarantulas was being strangely nice* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:23 pm [[The L'rell Klingon... favored him. She would not allow something she considers a preferred toy to perish.]] Tarantulas 8:24 pm Oh dear. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm [[Just as she did not want to let him leave.]] Ratchet 8:24 pm I continue to be suspicious. Bevel 8:25 pm ...oh no. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:25 pm *Scoots forward a little. Is that--?* Tarantulas 8:25 pm *snickers along with stamets' laughter* FakeProwl 8:29 pm *oh thank god, finally SOMEONE is getting along with each other.* Bevel 8:29 pm *hopes this works* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm [[...Good.]] FakeProwl 8:30 pm ((fire the tardigrade cannon)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm ((LOL)) Tarantulas 8:30 pm Why did they - awh no. Ratchet 8:31 pm [[ oh no they're cute ]] FakeProwl 8:31 pm ((it's about damn time)) Bevel 8:31 pm ((dear doctor <3 FakeProwl 8:31 pm *oh look! two more people who like each other! FINALLY.* Tarantulas 8:31 pm (( fuckin cute ItsyBitsySpyers 8:32 pm [[...Is that - that is not normal for human mirrors. Is it?]] Ratchet 8:32 pm [[ why........ why did it end like that ]] Tarantulas 8:32 pm (( wait what happened at the end i missed it Ratchet 8:32 pm [[ i missed what happened but something was weird and now i;m concerned ]] ItsyBitsySpyers 8:32 pm ((he walked away. his reflection stayed in the mirror a little while before smiling and leaving)) Bevel 8:33 pm ((ok, warnings for... Vulcan mind melding to the extreme and that's the only thing I remember from this episode but keep in mind past warnings just in case ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm *Lovely angular architecture on a hot desert-y planet. How wonderful, their planet.* Ratchet 8:34 pm [[ anyway i'm just saying, it's real convenient that there was one spy in that room and now someone from that room has accompanied captain lorca back to the ship with the new propulsion system ]] Bevel 8:35 pm Mirror do not act like that. Ever. They are just glass. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:36 pm *Back on a ship?*

[[Then that does not bode well.]] Ratchet 8:38 pm Hmm. Bevel 8:40 pm That was Michael's dad, right? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:40 pm [[The one who was not making a martyr of themselves.]] Bevel 8:40 pm Yeah. Tarantulas 8:40 pm Father? I assumed he was adoptive or something of the sort. FakeProwl 8:41 pm Well, we know he survived. Bevel 8:42 pm Yeah, Michael said foster parents. They are still parents. ...scuttlebutt FakeProwl 8:42 pm I knew a mech named Scuttlebutt. *he's wrong. the mech's name was Shuttlebay.* Bevel 8:42 pm *omg* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm [[...One hopes he kept his aft away from boats.]] *Oh. He knows this feeling.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm @P: [[...Not unlike this when they died.]] *Tiny glance to see how he's doing with all this mental melding talk.* FakeProwl 8:46 pm @S «... Through the spark bond?» FakeProwl 8:48 pm *it's between people who get along with each other, not forced by a puppetmaster upon an unwilling puppet, and no mind-control is involved. he's fine.* Bevel 8:49 pm *Bevel would be glad if she knew* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm @P: [[Correct. Together with telepathy, in some cases.]] *Not the twins. And, good. Looks like no emergency avatar deactivations.* [[Ravage was - the worst. The others perished quicker.]] FakeProwl 8:50 pm *huh. the scientist has become more tolerable.* Bevel 8:50 pm *mimics the explosion sound* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm *Nods to Bevel. Approves.* Bevel 8:51 pm *grins at Soundwave* Tarantulas 8:52 pm *tarantulas makes a mental note to poke soundwave about how his telepathy works bc of this katra mess. he's not quite believing the science of it* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm *That'll be an interesting conversation.* Bevel 8:54 pm Why is genetic manipulation so bad in this universe? FakeProwl 8:55 pm Haven't they made allusions to some sort of war with genetically-manipulated humans? Or a rebellion or something? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm @P: [[...Your alternate signed off on Ravage's interrogation. He has always wondered if she knew what was happening.]] *Another small look. He's searching for - something. Confirmation? Denial? Who would be able to calculate the probability better than an alternate?* FakeProwl 8:58 pm *he doesn't pick up the implied question.* @S «... I see.» *but he does feel like he's supposed to say something.* «... I'm sorry. To hear that.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm *Waits a moment to see if he will say anything else. But, that'll do for now. Apologies are better than nothing.* @P: [[Thank you.]]

*And broadcast more widely:* [[They have. There was a... where are his files on this. One moment.]] Bevel 9:00 pm Have they? *might have missed some things, or they might be in episodes she hasn't actually seen* Tarantulas 9:01 pm *tara's gonna conduct an experiment as they watch - down comes a thread to touch sw's shoulder* @SW: [[Push me a thought if you can hear this.]] Tarantulas 9:02 pm (( OH DAMN FakeProwl 9:03 pm *... all right, okay. NOW it's getting uncomfortable. what with the aggressive insistence that he let her into his mind.* *but it's over quickly.* Bevel 9:04 pm *oh wow a dad worse than hers, have all her sympathies, Michael* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm [[In other pieces. And Saru mentioned it.]]

[[The humans attempted genetic manipulation and upgrading a couple of hundred years before this time period.]] *Gesture to screen.* [[The humans produced used their new bodies and minds to seize power in many countries across the world. They were the cause of multiple extreme wars and eventually lost.]]

[[Some were finally captured and tried as war criminals. They disappeared before they could serve their sentences.]] [[...And it is satisfying to see his abilities used for good. For once.]] *Soundwave is intrigued by the thread - and what he heard through it. He winds the end around a finger and looks at it.* @T: [[Confirmed.]] Bevel 9:07 pm Oh! Then yeah, it really is. Stamets is being really helpful. Even with the mirror being weird. Bevel 9:09 pm *cheers Michael on* FakeProwl 9:10 pm Emotions are not Vulcan. But passive-aggression is. Tarantulas 9:10 pm *curious quirk of his visor. hmm* @SW [[Humor me - just a moment.]] *and the thread is withdrawn* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm *Finds it interesting that he acts different from the others yet chose - HUFF, Prowl, that was lovely - the "superior" partially Vulcan child over the fully human child.* *And that he did not know Spock well enough to predict Spock's actions.* *Lets the thread go and watches its slow retreat, curious.* Bevel 9:13 pm I really like Michael. Bevel 9:14 pm *somehow not surprised by this turn of events* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm *...Suspicious.* FakeProwl 9:15 pm He's quite pleased to leave her there, isn't he. Bevel 9:15 pm He just wants to keep his ship. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:16 pm *Oh good. It's not just him.* [[It seems so.]] FakeProwl 9:16 pm Selfish. Tarantulas 9:16 pm This message has been removed. FakeProwl 9:16 pm *all the same, he wants to know how he cheated his psych evals.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm *Soundwave responds every time a thread still attached inside the generation point touches him. Not so much any held in a paw.* Bevel 9:20 pm ((i'm so sorry ((did not mean to do that, i click and highlight things i'm reading and did it by accident Tarantulas 9:21 pm (( oops lol ItsyBitsySpyers 9:21 pm *And cheating on tests seems to be a common problem in Starfleet commanders. Hmm.* *Can't decide if he approves or not.* Bevel 9:21 pm ((*buries face in hands* Tarantulas 9:21 pm (( puff did u happen to log my comment or should i rewrite jic? FakeProwl 9:22 pm ((i did not, on rabbit i don't log it til the end)) Tarantulas 9:22 pm (( o7 ...actually nvm, we all know what happened, tarantulas sent down different threads etc Bevel 9:23 pm ((all the threads Tarantulas 9:24 pm *curiouser and curiouser, sw. tarantulas notes the organic interference, then eventually pulls all the threads up and disposes of them* FakeProwl 9:24 pm *... bevel are you trying to get prowl's attention* Bevel 9:25 pm *...you can't prove anything* FakeProwl 9:25 pm *you're playing The Titanic Song* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm [[...This is a rearrangment of the Titanic music.]] *Pause.* [[He likes it better than the original.]] Bevel 9:25 pm Yeah, same. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm @T: (txt): Experiment successful? Bevel 9:25 pm *did it work?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm [[It is not as wistful, but it sounds more - celebratory. That feels like a better ending.]] FakeProwl 9:27 pm The end of the Titanic wasn't celebratory. Bevel 9:27 pm The ahistorical ending? Tarantulas 9:27 pm @SW: ::Every experiment is successful if you come into it with an open mind.:: ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm [[No, no. Celebrating her memories of when she was content with the Jack human.]] *Tilt. Tilt the other way.* [[Or believed she was. He still does not think it was a good relationship.]] FakeProwl 9:29 pm Oh, it was absolutely not. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:29 pm @T: (txt): New viewpoint heard, considered, appreciated.

*Hmm. Does Shockwave think like that?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm [[Then this song following it was a good choice. Well done, Bevel.]] Bevel 9:30 pm *grins* Tarantulas 9:31 pm *shockwave would be a shitty scientist if he didn't, in tarantulas's opinion, therefore he must* FakeProwl 9:31 pm His death was the best thing that could have possibly happened to her. It allowed her to leave with the memory of the brief freedom she thinks she experienced and opportunity for liberation that that experience provided her, while saving her from the eventual and inevitable controlling, manipulative, and abusive behavior he would have strangled her with. Tarantulas 9:34 pm *hhhm. briefly tarantulas wonders if that's what prowl thinks of him in turn* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm [[...Like the timing he suggested with the Council. A similar concept.]] FakeProwl 9:36 pm ... Still on that? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:37 pm [[Not on that discussion specifically. He understood what you were going for.]] *No need to fret all over again.* [[But it is a thing he has often thought about over the years. Among other problems of timing.]] Bevel 9:37 pm Council? FakeProwl 9:38 pm *he reacted extremely strongly in the negative for someone who supposedly understood what he was going for* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm [[It just reminded him of that. Removing a controlling force and then disposing of the one that would turn corrupt.]] *Small shrug.* [[He thinks in terms he understands.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm *Perhaps, but he did demonstrate that he got it once he stopped focusing on the example itself.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:41 pm [[He also wonders what would have happened if he himself took certain data to the Council instead of bringing it to Megatron, back when he had that moment of doubt. And whether he should have spilled certain secrets to save his life or died to keep them quiet.]] [[They're just moments that gnaw at him and give him frames for processing other contexts.]] Bevel 9:43 pm *didn't get an exact answer but she's read enough history to follow where Soundwave was coming from now* It is important to think about the things you did and think about how you could have done better so you can make better decisions, in the future, right? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm *Soundwave leans to one side to get a better look at her.*

[[Now where did you get a lesson like that...?]] Bevel 9:45 pm *looks away from Soundwave and at the ceiling for a moment* From talking to people. FakeProwl 9:46 pm *is people* Bevel 9:46 pm *indeed* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm [[He's a telepath, Bevel.]] Bevel 9:46 pm 😐 You are a polite one. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm [[True.]] *Leans back. Like he's gonna poke at her thoughts too much in front of Prowl.* [[But he IS curious, still.]] Tarantulas 9:48 pm *visor quirk, what the heck is this chattering about* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm *Some suggest asking when it comes to things you want to know. He's a big voice for that.* Bevel 9:51 pm I... *her armor and paint start to change subtly to match the couch she's sitting on, but she controls the urge and settles back smoothly into the frame she's been wearing all night* I have been thinking. About stuff. Important stuff. Not council important! But important to me. Tarantulas 9:51 pm *tarantulas is too stubborn to ask about things he'd rather pretend to know or to figure out himself, if you're referring to him, sw* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm [[Go on. Such as?]] *He was.* Bevel 9:55 pm Not now. *she has to talk to someone else first, else word get around somehow, she only trusts like one and a half of the bots still here* Tarantulas 9:57 pm *wait what the heck was that, bevel. weren't YOU the one who was saying mirrors don't behave like that? strange, when tarantulas just saw you behaving in a way wholly unlike a typical mech. no way was that a trick of the light* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm [[As you wish.]] Bevel 9:57 pm *grateful smile at Soundwave* Tarantulas 9:59 pm *tara's gonna keep that to himself for now. he's got enough to chew on from this evening as it is* Bevel 10:01 pm *gonna just.... go back to picking music clueless about what's going on with Tara* Tarantulas 10:06 pm ...Oh! Bevel 10:06 pm ? Tarantulas 10:08 pm Do forgive me for forgetting for so long. I owe each party in this room three cephalopod acquaintanceships, don't I? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm *SNAP ALERT AWAY FROM MUSIC congrats that was the impossible* [[Yes. You do. Does this mean...?]] Bevel 10:08 pm Yes! *sits up* Tarantulas 10:10 pm What this means is that I don't yet have the specimens, but I can acquire them, say... before we meet here next? FakeProwl 10:10 pm *turns slightly. go on, he's listening.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm [[All of them?]] Tarantulas 10:13 pm Of course. *a bit affronted* Bevel 10:13 pm You have some time. It will be a little bit before I can get everyone here again. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:13 pm *No harm meant. He's just - quietly excited.* Tarantulas 10:15 pm If meeting here is the problem, we could all meet elsewhere. That is to say, you'll all be coming to my lab anyhow. FakeProwl 10:16 pm ((IS THAT FUCKING SAX FLAMETHROWING)) Tarantulas 10:17 pm (( oh my god FakeProwl 10:17 pm ((MAD MAX: POSTMODERN JUKEBOX)) I'll be able to come unless some emergency comes up that requires my attention. ((so that's why he's by the open window)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm [[He will make the emergency wait for his attention to exist.]] Bevel 10:18 pm *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm [[Which is impossible. But that is how much he looks forward to this. If it wasn't yet clear.]] FakeProwl 10:19 pm Unfortunately, emergencies that require a police captain's attention frequently don't care what other people think. Even when cephalopods are involved. If I can't come, don't delay it on my behalf. Soundwave can record the event for me to watch later. Tarantulas 10:20 pm Nono, you /must/ come, really. Bevel 10:21 pm Yeah, we planned this with you, Prowl. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm [[Perhaps he can bribe all of Iacon into behaving for a single day...]] *That is a joke. Please do not arrest him for bribery.* FakeProwl 10:21 pm It's all right. I'm not planning to touch them, so it doesn't make a difference if I see them in person or via video. Bevel 10:21 pm That would be a lot of bribes. Tarantulas 10:22 pm You're coming. *stated definitively* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[Never underestimate his abilities, Bevel.]] FakeProwl 10:22 pm *honestly Prowl's pretty neutral on the whole thing. The only reason he asked to come was so that he could request another couple of creatures for Soundwave to see.* Bevel 10:22 pm Never. *laughs* FakeProwl 10:22 pm *but if Tarantulas seems determined that it won't happen until Prowl CAN come...* ... Very well. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[...They won't be exposed to the Noisemaze, correct?]] Bevel 10:23 pm Noisemaze? Tarantulas 10:24 pm Ah, no, of course not. They'll be directly bridged in. FakeProwl 10:24 pm *... is that alright to mention in front of Bevel? PROWL wouldn't have mentioned it in front of Bevel* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm *Prowl wouldn't be the one getting his aft beaten to within an inch of his life if Bevel went to the lab and was lured out there and hurt somehow.* *Soundwave would really like not to anger Ratchet like that. Tarantulas already tried to convince her to be a Science once.* Tarantulas 10:26 pm *he plans on convincing her to be a Science somehow through the cephaloparty as well, but sw need not know that* FakeProwl 10:26 pm ((*judges song intensely for changing the pronouns*)) ((make them lesbians you cowards.)) Tarantulas 10:26 pm (( make it GAAAAY Bevel 10:27 pm ((*same, hadn't heard this one yet* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm *Tarantulas better hope Soundwave doesn't find out* FakeProwl 10:27 pm ((the music video was about gay men. you can make the song about lesbians. it's okay.)) Bevel 10:27 pm ((just for this i'm gonna play a cover of rude after this that I know is gay af Tarantulas 10:28 pm *is ignoring bevel's question ftr* Bevel 10:28 pm *is ignored boo* *will just assume it's a maze. with noises* FakeProwl 10:30 pm ((a hedge maze and from the hedges comes the wild dooting of kazoos)) Tarantulas 10:30 pm (( a kazzorchestra Bevel 10:30 pm ((and now for something not post modern ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm ((soundwave volunteers to hunt down the wild kazoo)) Tarantulas 10:35 pm *claw tap to mandibles* ...I haven't thought of what to do with them once we've wrapped things up, though. FakeProwl 10:35 pm ... Take them home, I'd assume. Bevel 10:35 pm Let them go? Tarantulas 10:35 pm *funny look as if that hadn't occurred to him* Well, maybe. Though they might not be safe to return. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm [[Why wouldn't they?]] Tarantulas 10:37 pm I'm trying to think of the logistics, hold on. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm *Growing vaguely alarmed. He does not want them to be made into a Science.* FakeProwl 10:37 pm Are you concerned they're going to share the awesome things they've learned about Cybertronian technology with their octopus militaries? Tarantulas 10:38 pm *SNORT* No, not in the least. FakeProwl 10:38 pm Then I don't see what the problem with taking them home is. Tarantulas 10:38 pm One does not simply take a cephalopod home, Prowl. FakeProwl 10:39 pm Why not? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm *Has a worse thought than Science.*

[[-No eating them.-]] Tarantulas 10:40 pm Hyah, nono, I'm not going to eat them. I'm not partial to seafood. Tarantulas 10:41 pm The matter of putting them back - much less taking them back - is that I can't just reverse the process, that's all. (( I LOVE THIS ONE FakeProwl 10:42 pm Why not? If anything, it should be EASIER to return them than to pick them up. Picking them up involves effort to figure out where they are so you can get them. Taking them back involves only taking them directly back to the very spot you took them from. Tarantulas 10:43 pm This message has been removed. I mean, I could do that I suppose, it'd just be a mess, and not worth the time. FakeProwl 10:44 pm So open the bridge horizontally, one inch over the ocean, and drop them in. Tarantulas 10:44 pm No - but - hyah. *starts laughing* Bevel 10:45 pm ((gd self stop clicking things ((*puts mouse in corner* FakeProwl 10:45 pm ((for the chat record, could we get a re-statement of the now-deleted quote)) Tarantulas 10:46 pm (( something something "unless someone has tech i don't have, i can't just open a hole in the ocean and stick them back in" Bevel 10:46 pm ((yes plz i'm so sorry there needs to be a way to undo that omfg ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm [[Could you not build a container to hold all the water coming in as you replace the creature, then bridge all that water back over the ocean?]] FakeProwl 10:53 pm ... What's wrong with the bridge one inch over the ocean? *all he got was a no and a laugh.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm [[Oh, yes. From what he understands, not all life in the Earth's ocean can sustain itself at the same level because of the pressure, lighting, and fuel available to them at different depths. If some of these creatures live lower down, we may well be condemning them to death by dropping them in at the top.]]

*...What? Anglerfish and their horrible fangy deep sea brethren with their own biolights fascinated him just as much.*

*At least you know he values -some- organic life forms, Prowl.* Tarantulas 11:00 pm *finishes laughing with a huff* I just adjusted my capture plans. I'll be able to put them back. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:01 pm [[Are you sure? How?]] FakeProwl 11:01 pm So put them in a container that maintains their needed pressure, put it on a cable, and lower it through the bridge. And have it open when it reaches the proper depth. Tarantulas 11:03 pm I don't remember the species, but the ocean is rather deep, which means that'd entail more effort than I'm willing to put in for a small party like this. But it's alright, the solution is similar. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:03 pm *Excuse you. Every single one of those beings is worth all that effort. Not that he'll say as much out loud. In front of Bevel, anyway.* *He's still listening though.* Tarantulas 11:05 pm I'll prepare pressure-contained tanks, fill them with the appropriate environment, hook them up to my portal one at a time, target the creatures so they navigate into the chambers when the portal's opened, and voila. Simply do the reverse for release. (( IT'S MY JAM Bevel 11:06 pm *is listening to make sure all the cool critters will be safe* Tarantulas 11:06 pm (( *sings along* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm *Soundwave taps his fingers against his leg.* [[That sounds... reasonable.]] Bevel 11:07 pm ((This song is so damn good Tarantulas 11:07 pm (( also the music vid A+ ItsyBitsySpyers 11:07 pm *He was about to start researching what it would take to keep them on Cybertron. So, y'know. This is better.* Tarantulas 11:07 pm *no more additions to your collections, sw* Bevel 11:08 pm ((So good, ladies supporting ladies ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm *One plant is hardly a collection!* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm *...And he never brought the human into the habitat that was built for them, so there.* Tarantulas 11:10 pm *keeping humans is amusing, sw should try it sometime* FakeProwl 11:11 pm *NO* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm *IN HIS DEFENSE, THEY WEREN'T ENTIRELY AGAINST IT* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm *He's definitely never mentioning the idea to turn them into a cassette though. That'll just. Stay out of an entire timeline's worth of hearing range of Prowl.* Tarantulas 11:13 pm *divert it in tarantulas's direction, he'll never speak a word* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:13 pm *It was a more desperate time. Don't you judge him.* Bevel 11:13 pm *the brief mention of a plant reminds the mun that Bevel needs to identify the plant she traded for that one movie night* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[...He will bring some patterns for them. Buzzsaw can make them.]] Tarantulas 11:14 pm Patterns for - ? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[The cephalopods capable of changing their colors.]] [[Something for them to exercise their minds on.]] Bevel 11:15 pm Can I help? Tarantulas 11:15 pm Oh, oh, yes, I see. Mind you, I'm not certain how much of their mind is exercised by their color changing. Bevel 11:15 pm *she's gonna be having a hard enough time resisting the urge to shift and see if they'll change colors to match* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:17 pm [[Yes, Bevel. He would like that.]]

[[And neither is he. If nothing else, it will be something they do not have in the ocean. It is all he can think of they might li... jars. Jars and - fish. He will procure fish.]] [[Ravage should be able to gather some of that.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 11:19 pm *Maybe a couple of crabs? Or clams dug out of the sand? Some of them might have preferences...* Bevel 11:20 pm Awesome. FakeProwl 11:20 pm ... Do they like jars? *that seems like an odd thing for them to like* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm [[He thinks so. He has seen captive ones open them to get what it is inside. There are some that carry large seed shells with them as well.]] Tarantulas 11:23 pm Hyeheh, it's true. I'll leave you in charge of their entertainment and mental stimulation, then, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:24 pm *Soundwave plays back a small fanfare. He is legitimately happy to be assigned this role.* Bevel 11:25 pm *grins, this is gonna be the coolest trip* Tarantulas 11:26 pm *tarantulas hopes so. maybe he can trick you into revealing some of your tricks too, bevel* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:26 pm *Agreed. Whole-sparkedly.*

*...Not on the revealing tricks bit, but he can't hear that hope.* Bevel 11:27 pm *is gonna try to be good but she never found a shapeshifting teacher* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:27 pm *Unable to quite contain himself, he allows himself to send Prowl a gif of falling foil confetti and an accompanying excitement tag. And a restraint tag. Just so Prowl understands he's not going to burst out and suddenly start yelling or whatever it is other people do.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm *He then sends Bevel a task: acquire the largest pair of co-co-nut shells she can find and make a replacement out of sturdier supplies.* *There is a promise of payment attached.* Bevel 11:29 pm *can definitely do this! excited ping back* Tarantulas 11:30 pm *is sliding out of his sling/hammock and casually disattaching it* FakeProwl 11:31 pm *... ping ping ping.* Bevel 11:33 pm ((cro has request, i play that instead ItsyBitsySpyers 11:33 pm *And one of intense affection.*

*Ah. Are we leaving? Tarantulas is leaving. He should take the hint.* [[He should be on his way shortly. There is something he must do tomorrow.]] FakeProwl 11:33 pm Oh? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:33 pm ((the mun says as she promptly forgets what she was going to have him do...)) Bevel 11:33 pm ((whoops Aw, ok. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:34 pm ((OH YEAH i remember now)) [[Yes. He ordered a special item. Its creator informed him earlier today that it is ready.]] [[Among our other trades, per usual.]] FakeProwl 11:35 pm Ah. So you need to be in to pick up the delivery. Bevel 11:35 pm Can you say what you ordered or is it a secret? Tarantulas 11:36 pm Can you say who you ordered it from? That might be more informative. FakeProwl 11:36 pm *asks absolutely no questions about it, which may be informative all by itself.* Bevel 11:37 pm ((not at all ic Tarantulas 11:37 pm (( lmao ItsyBitsySpyers 11:37 pm [[He does.]]

[[Ah. Rumble and Frenzy have been asking for Arcade to replicate a new game console.]] *Not technically the item he meant, but also something he has to pick up personally. It's a surprise for them. And it'll stop them asking why Prowl isn't asking. He hopes.* Tarantulas 11:38 pm *doesn't 100% believe sw but doesn't feel like poking* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:38 pm *He can call in and check if he wants. It's true.* Bevel 11:39 pm *isn't observant enough to wonder why Prowl isn't asking, besides Prowl might already know since he's a, uh, friend* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:39 pm *FUNNY YOU SHOULD THINK THAT...* FakeProwl 11:39 pm *... now not sure if that's actually what it is, or if that's the cover story for the others* Bevel 11:39 pm I bet they will really like that. *100% believes him* Tarantulas 11:41 pm Certainly. *stretching* I must be on my way as well. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:41 pm [[Oh yes. Something about being a... what is it called. Switch? In any case, it's supposed to be important.]] Tarantulas 11:41 pm (( is that a double entendre (( it is isnt it Bevel 11:42 pm I do not know much about Earth games. *Bevel no* FakeProwl 11:42 pm *... okay now it's definitely the handcuffs.* *mystery solved* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:42 pm *Soundwave rises, enormously pleased with himself for that one, and nods to them all in turn.* [[Goodnight, all.]] Tarantulas 11:42 pm (( i cant fuckin believe you cro FakeProwl 11:42 pm Evening. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm ((u better believe it)) Tarantulas 11:43 pm Until next time. I'll be making preparations, hyeh. FakeProwl 11:43 pm ... Let me know if you're going to need help playtesting the new machine. *so very, very cool and casual* Bevel 11:44 pm ((*physically resists having Bevel query about that remark because tired ItsyBitsySpyers 11:44 pm *With any luck, so will he.*

[[Thank you. He'd like to make sure it doesn't have problems with locking up.]] Tarantulas 11:44 pm *since when has prowl been into gaming, tarantulas wonders* FakeProwl 11:44 pm (("what, do you think i don't play video games?" says prowl, who probably doesn't know how to hold a controller right-side up)) Bevel 11:44 pm ((Prowl, expect Bevel to ask you about how playtesting went later. FakeProwl 11:45 pm ((GOOD)) Tarantulas 11:45 pm *is off home now, au revoir* Bevel 11:45 pm *waves* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm *Follows suit by heading to the edge of the open wall, jumping off, and zipping on home in alt mode. There's some energy to work off after that last little innuendo-laced exchange.* FakeProwl 11:47 pm *SOUNDWAVE THIS IS A CITY* *WHAT ARE YOU DOING FLYING BETWEEN BUILDINGS* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:48 pm *WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, ARREST HIM?* FakeProwl 11:48 pm *HE COULD CALL HIS ALTERNATE* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:48 pm *-HE WOULDN'T DARE.- BEVEL DON'T LET HIM DO IT, DISTRACT HIM* *SOUNDWAVE WILL PAY YOU* Bevel 11:49 pm *this universe's Prowl does not look forward to that call because she'll have to send someone to follow up on it* *don't do that to Chase, he's barely an adult, Prowl* FakeProwl 11:50 pm *would having an uncomfortable rescue bot awkwardly asking questions be enough to discourage soundwave from RECKLESSLY ENDANGERING HIMSELF AND THE NEARBY ARCHITECTURE again* Bevel 11:51 pm *Bevel used Distraction! It's... not very effective. Especially since she's trying to think of how to complete the task Soundwave gave her* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm *Who's recklessly endangering anything? Is this not common where Prowl's from? Why the Pit do they have balconies on their apartments then? Is this why he's getting odd looks all the time?* FakeProwl 11:52 pm *you're supposed to go UP in the SKY and be OVER the buildings* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:54 pm *That's for work. And most every other time. Today he wants to feel his wings.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm *But anyway, he's gone. He'll attend future meetings a lot less recklessly.* FakeProwl 11:59 pm *HE'D BETTER* Yesterday Bevel 11:59 pm *awkwardly waves to Prowl, who she assumes is probably not staying long since everyone else left* FakeProwl 12:00 am *now that he's done gaping in outrage at soundwave's departure? no, probably not.* *farewell, he is gone.* Bevel 12:01 am *oh good no stilted attempts at conversation, she'll get to cleaning up now*

#chat

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danfanciesphil · 7 years ago

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I'm so excited you're doing prompts!! Okay, here's one: could you write some fluffy morning just waking up thing?

one fluffy morning just waking up drabble coming your way beautiful

ps it’s 00:39am and i’ve had multiple glasses of wine so im sorry if this is strange xoxo

The first night had been the hardest, in his dorm room.

Dan had thought he could handle a lot. He’s young, he doesn’t come from a particularly wealthy background, and he isn’t used to luxury. His room at the Manchester University halls lacked a certain appeal when he first saw it, but it was fine, he’d thought. The stark, pale brick of the walls could be covered with posters and artwork. The hard, unforgiving mattress could be quilted and softened with layers of blankets and pillows.

It would be fine.

But building a home in a new place takes time, Dan has come to realise. When one moves into a new place, they don’t necessarily have everything they need to make it theirs. They wish they had a particular knick knack, a certain accessory, a specific chair from their old room, or a new lamp with a soft, yellow bulb to illuminate the dull, dark atmosphere.

An exhausting day of meeting his neighbours, of trekking around campus, of plastering on a cheery smile passes. Dan collapses into his bed, the new bedding that he’s bought for himself seeming starchy and unyielding against the soft curves of his body.

Despite his brain telling him not to, all his body yearns for is his tiny, unappealing yet familiar bedroom back in Wokingham. His brother is sleeping in it now, Dan thinks uncomfortably, his cheek scratching against the stiff, cold pillowcase.

He texts Phil every night for a week. He begs to come over, to visit Phil at his new flat, over on the other side of Manchester. He’s so close, and so far. He’s a hundred miles nearer than he used to be. He’s in the same city, yet he’s too far to walk to, not that Dan knows where to go. The thought alone is enough to drive him mad.

Phil is adamant, though.

He insists that Dan have a week alone. He won’t give out his address, no matter how much Dan begs him. Dan finds him capricious, cruel, sadistic for this. Phil says it’s for his own good, and that Dan will hate him even more if Phil steals that first precious week of university from him.

Dan doesn’t care. He hates Phil anyway. All he wants is to see him. He doesn’t care about anyone else.

A week seems to take eons. It seems to drag, like a dying star, fading slowly as Dan weakens in his resolve. He thinks of jumping into taxis and scouring the streets of Manchester, shouting Phil’s name. He thinks of feigning grave illness, or some drastic emergency, knowing Phil will come running.

He goes out in the evenings. He attends Freshers week events with his flatmates and makes some sort-of friends. He enrols properly, handing over his passport to a bored looking PHD student, and is given a library card. None of it matters at all. None of it is the slightest bit important.

Finally, finally, Friday becomes Saturday. Dan doesn’t sleep until Sunday, staying out all of Saturday night at a party of some kind. He smokes three cigarettes, and he almost kisses a girl. He can’t do it though, even if he is pissed off.

He throws some clothes into a bag the minute he returns home, at six in the morning on Sunday. He phones Phil, shoving his charger into his pocket. Phil answers, but he sounds bleary, confused.

“Dan?”

“I’m coming over.”

“What?”

“Tell me your address.”

“Dan, it’s...” There’s a pause. “It’s half six in the morning.”

“So I’ll be there at seven.”

Dan waits, practically shaking as he hovers beside his bed, ready to leave the second Phil tells him it’s okay. He can’t stand this room a second longer, suddenly. It’s prison-esque, with it’s grey, brick walls, and its single, smeared window.

“74, Simmons Street.”

Dan wants to weep, suddenly. He feels tears scalding his eyes, and he brings a fist up to scrub them away. He could fall to his knees with relief, but he forces himself to remain standing.

“Okay.” Dan tells him, his voice only half audible. “See you soon.”

“See you.”

The whole ride over, Dan is terrified. He chews every nail off every finger, ripping some so harshly with his teeth that they smart and bleed. What if Phil doesn’t want him to come? What if that’s the real reason he hadn’t let on where he lived before now?

It doesn’t take long, though. Dan is shocked, really, at how little time it takes to cross the city. It seems like a moment passes, and then he’s outside Phil’s building, the taxi driver idling impatiently, waiting for him to leave.

“Thanks.” Dan says, shoving a twenty pound note at the driver.

He gets out before he can accept any change. He’s almost definitely overpaid, but he doesn’t care. This is worth every penny.

He has to press a buzzer for Phil’s flat. There’s a small camera, so Phil must know it’s him when he presses to let Dan inside.

Dan takes the elevator. It’s early, and he has a bag. He doesn’t feel he could face the stairs.

Phil is flat 42A. Dan finds it without issue.

He knocks on the outside, wary of the neighbouring flats at this early hour, and waits, clutching his backpack to his chest, heart hammering against his ribs. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, when Phil opens the door.

It turns out, he doesn’t need to say anything at all.

Phil drags him inside without a word, and all of a sudden the world is gone from sight. Phil’s arms encircle Dan’s body, cradling him in their protective embrace, shielding him from the air itself.

The door slams shut behind them, but Phil doesn’t seem to care. He pushes his lips to the top of Dan’s head, mumbling things into his scalp, words that Dan can’t decipher.

It sounds a lot like ‘you’re here, you’re here, you’re here’.

Phil walks him through a maze of rooms that Dan can’t take in. His eyes are trained on Phil’s face, which is just, exactly, how he remembers it. It’s pale and serene, framed with black hair and black lashes, hiding the deepest blue eyes Dan can remember seeing in all his life.

They’re in a smaller room now, a darker room. It’s warm here, lit by a single lamp. Phil pulls Dan onto something soft and pliant, a bed with a quilt of blue and green, familiar and comforting. Dan crawls beneath it at once, bringing the covers to his chin.

Phil’s arms wrap around him, holding tightly, pulling him in to a lean, warm chest. This feels nothing like the adrift, isolated island of Dan’s bed in the dorm. In fact, it is worrying, how he feels so completely at home.

“Can you sleep?” Phil asks, his voice so soft it might be a whisper.

Dan nods, tucking his nose beneath Phil’s chin.

He feels the gentle rumble of Phil’s throaty chuckle, and breathes in, contented.

“Night, bear.”

Dan wakes up to a view obscured by black fronds. Phil’s hair seems to be everywhere - tickling his nose, poking into his eyes, fanning over his cheeks.

Dan breathes in, drawing the scent of him as deeply as possible. It feels like it’s been forever since he last smelled it. Sharp, sweet notes. Like chilli infused hot chocolate, or a glacé cherry encased in dark cocoa.

“Phil?” Dan whispers, not really wanting to wake him.

“Mm?”

Dan smiles, the fondness tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Can we have pancakes?”

It takes a while, but apparently the mention of Phil’s second favourite breakfast food is enough to stir him into wakefulness. He blinks his eyes open slowly, registering the sight of Dan with mild confusion, probably not helped by his lack of contact lenses or glasses.

“Pancakes?”

Dan nods. “I’ll make them if you like. But... you might have to tell me where everything is in your kitchen.”

Phil’s eyebrows knit together, and he leans away, frowning. “You’re in my bed.”

Stomach churning with nerves, Dan decides to attempt a diversion tactic. He lifts one eyebrow, smirking. “Right where I belong.”

“You should be in your dorm.” Phil chastises, sighing heavily; Dan’s heart sinks.

“I tried it, Phil. I did it for a whole week, like you said.” Dan tells him honestly, hoping desperately that he won’t sound too pathetic to Phil’s ears. Maybe Phil will take pity on him for being so weak. “I missed you too much.”

Phil leans closer, eyes roving over Dan’s face. “I missed you too.”

“You did?”

Phil nods, seeming displeased at the admittance. “I tried not to. I tried to tell myself to leave you alone. To let you have your fun. But I missed you.” Phil leans in close, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of Dan’s nose. “Lots.”

Dan tries and fails to hide his answering blush. He wishes he could feel guilt, like Phil seems to, but he’s too happy. He’s elated, just by being here, beside the one person he loves most of all, after what seems like years.

“You live so close now,” Dan tells him, marvelling at this prospect, still. “I just got in a car and came here. It took fifteen minutes, tops.”

Phil’s eyes widen, clearly astounded as well. “Fifteen?”

“It used to take...”

“Hours.” Phil finishes. “Days.”

“We don’t need to miss each other anymore.” Dan says cautiously, heart thumping irregularly, trying to predict what Phil will say. If he objects, Dan worries that the thumping might cut out completely. “I can be with you whenever you want.”

Dan surveys him in the face of this final comment, trying to suss out his reaction, to deem if he’ll find this too much.

He and Phil have said a lot to one another, over the months they’ve known each other in person. They’ve exchanged confessions of love, they’ve discussed plans for the future, for holidays and forever homes and marriage. But to discuss something in theory is very different to putting it into practice, Dan knows.

It’s a very real possibility that Phil might back out, now that this is all snowballing towards a very real future.

“Always.” Phil says, catching Dan off guard.

A second passes, and then Phil’s lips crash against his, as sure and definite as waves upon the shore. He kisses so hard that Dan has trouble staying present, tempted to fall into the moment and maybe never be able to crawl out of it.

Phil leans away again, and he is smiling. His hands are on Dan’s waist, and his eyes are crinkled at each corner. Dan’s heart slows, skipping a beat.

“Always,” Phil repeats.

#prompts #fluff #got a prompt? ask me!#thanks honey! hope you like it!#my fic #anon #ellen answers

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