#i was becoming a trekkie

[farmhandler]

Back in August I told my friend "oh I think I'll write a fic for DP3, then I'll go back to my other fandom stuff" hahahahhaufghfdksghua

[countv0ncunt]

I'm obsessed

[carewyncromwell]

"Little one, when you play, Don't you mind what they say -- Let those eyes sparkle and shine, Never a tear, baby of mine...

If they knew sweet little you, They'd end up loving you too... All those same people who scold you, What they'd give just for the right to hold you..."

~"Baby Mine (cover)" by Alison Krauss

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original links for posters (1) and (2) on the wall // edited with help from Lunapic!

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Hey, all! This is my entry for #ockiss24, organized by @ockissweek, depicting my OC, Lane Bach Cromwell, kissing her eight-year-old son Jacob goodnight! For those of you wondering where my girl Carewyn is, well, she IS in the picture, even if you can't see her...because this is set in 1972, the year Carewyn was born! (Lane's in her second trimester.)

But yeah, prior to Carewyn's birth, Jacob's life was...not great. From not getting on with his clean-cut, conventional Muggle father Evan to being completely alone and outcasted at school because of his "delinquent" outbursts (in truth evidence of very powerful underage magic), Jacob was a very unhappy child. Partly to vent his frustrations and resentments, Jacob would act out and disrespect or even flat-out ignore his teachers, which this year in particular almost resulted in him not being allowed to go on to year 4 of primary school. It was only his distinctly average grades at the time that kept that from happening, because no, boy genius Jacob was not having trouble with any of the material: he was just bored as all get-out and hated jumping through hoops for people who looked down their noses at him. Even so, the conference that Evan and Lane had with Jacob's principal -- in which the principal ripped into Evan for his and Lane's lack of discipline and even suggested at one point that Jacob could do with a year or two of military school to straighten him out -- resulted in Evan summoning Jacob down to the dining table for a "family meeting" that night that ended up way more heated than it should've.

Evan was very stern. He told Jacob that he and Lane did not want to have to send him to military school when he was more than smart enough to know better and respect his elders -- Jacob snapped back that his teachers didn't want respect from him: they just wanted him to sit down and shut up and be a mindless little bobble-head, just like all the other kids in class, so that they could keep acting like they were smarter than the toadies they taught. For someone like Evan -- whose father had been arrested and sentenced to life in prison when Evan was a very young boy -- Jacob's lack of respect toward authority figures was very troubling. Evan scolded Jacob that he would never amount to anything worthwhile if he didn't put in the work and behave himself, and even shamed Jacob, pointing out that he and Lane had more than enough to worry about with a new baby on the way without having to punish Jacob for things he knew he shouldn't do. Jacob lashed out in response.

"Oh yeah, right, 'the baby!' The baby, the baby, the baby! Can't forget about how many more hours at work you suddenly have to put in 'because of the baby!' As if that hasn't just been a lovely little excuse for you to not be around to deal with all the stupid stuff I get blamed for -- if you'd actually been around, then maybe you would've bloody realized that I'm already getting punished, all the time, for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG!"

From there, Evan and Jacob's tempers only flared further. Lane -- ever a pacifist and yet completely unequipped to deal with such explosive anger, thanks to her abusive childhood -- was unable to step between them or bring the temperature down...and so the fight only ended when Evan, his temper thoroughly spent, lost his head. Jacob yelled at Evan for never seeing him as anything but a troublemaker, and Evan responded in perhaps the worst possible way.

"BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, JACOB! Every other day, I have to read a message from your teachers, or your principal -- even other parents about the trouble you get up to, and time and again, you refuse to take any responsibility for the trouble you cause! How is anyone ever going to see you as anything other than a shame and a burden, when all you ever do is cause everyone else trouble?!"

Jacob was so overwhelmed with pain and anger he couldn't properly express that he shoved his chair aside with enough force that the bottom of the legs actually somehow caught fire. Lane hurriedly rushed to put out the magical flames before Evan could pay them too much mind, but Jacob -- too emotional to even acknowledge that outburst of magic -- ran out of the dining room and upstairs to his bedroom, where he slammed the door shut with force.

Evan was regretful about what he'd said, after the fact. He didn't quite know how to broach the issue, since he still felt Jacob had done wrong and needed to own up to it before he gave their son a proper apology -- so Lane went upstairs to speak to Jacob herself, after calming Evan down and making sure she'd given Jacob enough time to cool off too. When Lane opened the door to Jacob's room, she found her poor son burying his face into his pillow, trying in vain to obscure the many messy tear tracks down his cheeks.

"Did I cause you trouble again, Mum?" was all he could mumble miserably through his pillow.

Her heart hurting, Lane brought a stool over so she could sit next to Jacob's bed. She sat near him for a while, letting Jacob vent and reassuring him multiple times that Evan was just upset: that she and he didn't just see Jacob as a burden or a troublemaker, that they loved him, and all they wanted was for him to be the amazing, talented, smart boy they knew he was. Lane wasn't sure how much Jacob believed this -- he had trouble meeting her eye, even as he changed into his pajamas and she tucked him into bed. It didn't take long for Lane to suss out why, after Jacob echoed Evan's words from earlier.

"I wasn't trying to cause trouble, Mum. Honest. I know you're not feeling well...I know you have to worry about the baby now, not me..."

It was hard to miss the miserable, faintly resentful tone to her son's words. Lane's eyes softened sadly.

"Jay...of course I'll have to worry about the baby...and yes, I might need to spend a lot of time with them, since they won't be able to clean, feed, or dress themselves yet. But just because I'll have to take care of your little brother or sister when they arrive does not mean I'll stop taking care of you. It doesn't mean I won't still be here for you, when you really need me..."

She brought a hand through Jacob's curly black-brown hair.

"Time might have limits, but love doesn't. I remember my friend Judy liked to say that love is renewable -- it's not a cake that has to get cut up into smaller pieces for more people to enjoy it. The more you love, the more love there is to go around. No matter how much I will love your baby brother or sister when they get here, it doesn't mean I will love you any less. You will always be my little Blue Jay. And I will always love you with all my heart."

Jacob wasn't even fully aware of it when he started crying again, but as his mother kissed him goodnight, he felt the tension relaxing in his shoulders. He laid back against his pillows, closing his eyes.

"...Mum?" he asked hesitantly after a moment.

"Yes, Jay?"

"Do you think the baby will like me?" he mumbled.

The doubt and uncertainty echoing through the question broke Lane's heart.

"They will love you," she said gently.

"Even if I'm nothing but a troublemaker?"

Lane frowned deeply. It truly did seem that those words of Evan's had hurt him far too deeply for Lane's reassurance alone to heal.

"You are not, have never been, and will never be 'nothing,' Jacob. ...I promise, one day, you will see what I see, when I look at you -- a smart, curious, creative, special boy...ready to take flight and take on the world. And when that day comes, I know the whole world will see it too."

Jacob's face seemed to soften a little bit, losing some of the creases in his features.

"...Thanks, Mum."

Lane's blue eyes softened as she turned off the wall light and gently closed the door to her son's room.

A few months later, Lane gave birth to Jacob's little sister, Carewyn. And true to Lane's words, the little baby she nicknamed "Winnie" loved Jacob dearly, and ended up being his first real friend in the world.

[arctic-hands]

Anyone else think that with the not-at-all-surprising revelation that ChatGPT and other A.I.s are stealing from fanfiction sites like AO3 (and I relish in the fact that people using ChatGPT in Official Things are now being exposed to the concept of knotting), and the already-established thievery of art on the internet, we should go back to home printed and stapled zines delivered via mail?

[frumdyke]

hi i'm the op of that star trek post and i just wanted to make sure you know that even though the tos episodes on the internet archive are out of order, they are actually in the correct order production-wise which is more accurate to the timeline. it's actually the ordering used by the wiki. so good news you watched it in a more correct order than they did in 1966. sorry i am very passionate about star trek episode ordering.

wait for realsies !?? yayy yippee wahoovTHANK YOU peace and love ob olanet earthg

[valvesoftware]

sorry guys im in spirk superhell now

[itstimeforstarwars]

Tbh it kinda feels like everyone who’s been in fandom for ten years or longer ends up getting into star trek.

[emometalhead]

I think my most controversial Star Trek: Next Gen opinions are that I like Wesley, but I don't really like Riker.

[yearlytrekchallenge]

Welcome to Yearly Trek Challenge!! This blog is brought to you by an avid Trekkie who loves the concept of monthly fan challenges for art/fic/prompts/etc, but unfortunately has neither the time nor spoons for daily creating of content. The solution? A similar style challenge, but with one prompt per month!

My goal is to keep a semi-active ongoing challenge where each month we’ll have a prompt for fan content— gifsets, fanfic, artwork, crafts, cosplay, and any other form of fan work— and this blog will be kind of a home base (or star base) of the challenge. I hope to reblog lots of challenge entries, put out polls for future prompts, and generally create a challenge/prompts community for those of us who love fan events but don’t find it possible, for whatever reason, to keep up with such fast-paced events as daily or weekly prompts. With a whole month to do one prompt, I know it definitely feels more achievable to me :)

I’ll be putting up some polls for the first few prompt themes, and depending on the level of engagement may end up supplementing with some external ideas as well, but I’m hoping this blog eventually grows into an ongoing, slow-paced, chill fan creation community! If you have ideas not mentioned in polls, feel free to reply to the posts, reblog and put ‘em in the tags or notes, or send asks!

If this sounds like something you’re interested in, feel free to follow and join the fun! The more of us join in the lovelier it’ll be, IDIC and all, right? 💕

Thanks for reading and I look forward to this project! LLAP 🖖🏻

~

ps. this blog is run by a queer adult, and while the challenge prompts will most likely be a mix of sfw and nsfw, please note that content on this blog may include some 18+ themes, imagery, descriptions, et cetera. thank you!

[felassan]

David Gaider on Flemeth, under a cut for length:

"I have a type. I admit it. There are certain wells I can return to repeatedly and always find something new to explore. One of them is older female characters. Mike used to rib me about it. Consider Wynne. Meredith. Genevieve. And, of course, the biggie: Flemeth. Why are they a type? I... don't know, honestly. I guess I have a feeling that older men fade, they strive to regain their youth or establish a legacy and we've seen that story a thousand times, but older women? They become free to become something new. I guess I see so many possibilities in that. I had a conception of who Flemeth was, and why, right from the very start. Her creation went hand in hand with Morrigan, as a being whose thirst for retribution hundreds of years ago attracted an entity (slight confession: I didn't know Mythal specifically, at the time, "an elven god" was enough). I also knew where Morrigan was right and very wrong about her. Misconceptions of the truth are built into DA's foundation, and they were fundamental to this mother-daughter relationship I was building. Like many seeds I'd put in the world, however, I had no idea whether I'd ever get to explore it. Knowing that she was a character of possible future importance, if not a major player in DAO, I wasn't much surprised when she was one of the first cuts the art team made in terms of getting a unique appearance. Thus the "batty old woman" players met in DAO. Not as hard a cut as the Qunari, though."

"Going into DA2, I wanted both Morrigan and Flemeth, but we could only have one. So I picked Flemeth. This was the game where she really got to come into her own. I remember the art team coming and asking if it was OK if she got a new model, as it'd be a retcon of sorts. I didn't care. I wanted it. I honestly don't remember whether Kate Mulgrew was cast before or after Claudia. After, I think? All I recall is that Cab came into my office one day and asked if Kate might be a good fit. Asked me, the dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie who had stuck with Voyager even through the admittedly lean years? The squeal I made was un-manly. Cab took that as a "yes". 😅 I didn't get to talk to Kate until DA2, however. Schedules being what they were, we had a tight window to record Flemeth... so I had to write all her scenes before almost anything else in DA2 was written, before I even had a team! Ack! It was OK, though, for the most part. I knew where I wanted to take her, and a big part of it was going to explain her transition - to set her up for the future. So I whipped up a script in, like, two days and off we went. Kate was a marvel in the booth. She adored Flemeth and you could really tell. I didn't get to meet Kate in person, however, until DAI. This came pretty late in its development, compared to when we recorded her for DA2, and we flew down to Virginia (to accommodate her schedule - she was writing her memoir at the time, I think) for a single session. It was going to be *tight*."

"I was a mess. I was finally going to meet Captain Janeway... and yes yes, I know she's also more than that. But come ON. When we sat down, I figured I'd have to talk her through the character all over again. It'd been years since that one session at the start of DA2, right? And even more since DAO. But, no. Kate remembered Flemeth perfectly. I remember sitting there as she told me how much she loved the character, how rare it was to get one with so much texture and possibility. She called out my writing - my writing! - and waxed poetic about how she viewed Flemeth's arc. I... I was floored. 🫠 Then we began recording. One issue that quickly reared its head was how Caroline had to speed through the lines if we hoped to finish. Kate was a trooper, and most takes she'd get it in one (which is rare), but I was alarmed because we weren't giving Kate time to read the VO comments on each line. I brought it up, as there were some lines (so much sarcasm) that required nuance - Kate was getting them, oddly, but I was worried. "Oh, it's fine," Kate said. "I read the comments as we go." "How could you? We're going so fast!" "I'm a speed reader." Oh. OK, then. That certainly explained it. 😁 We got to the confrontation scene with Morrigan and she nailed it. Over and over. More than once, Caroline would make a call and, before I could even interject and say "no, Kate had it right, actually" Kate would explain exactly why she did it that way and why it worked for Flemeth. I was in love. She did the "I will see her avenged!" section all in one go. I got chills. Then we got to the final scene. You know the one. With Solas. It was this beautiful moment. She took it somewhere quiet and sad... and when she got to that last line, we all felt it: Flemeth was dead. Everyone was in tears. I suppose I could talk more about the process. How she started off aligned with Morrigan's original Delirium inspiration, but I didn't pull back her loopy way of talking as much (bet you wondered). I still don't know why it was so easy to slip into her voice, but I'm grateful I got the chance. ❤️"

[source thread]

[lonelymoonrambles]

I've just finished season 6 of deep space nine as a first time viewer and here are my thoughts:

- did Dukat grow out his hair

- Garak is so bitchy with Julian about his augmentation... is this foreplay

- did Garak grow out his hair

- Worf being a bad father does not surprise me AT ALL (#justice4Alexander)

- General Martok is a good daddy! I mean father!

- ziyal is being willfully ignorant...sorry ur dad sucks and you're in love with a gay guy

- as usual, Quark B plot goes hard

- y'all were right, I love Weyoun!!! What a bitch!

- now why do I kinda wanna write a damar/quark fic...

- Rom is A MAN. 🤤👍🙏🤪

- omg ziyal! sorry about what I said before, I actually liked your gentle energy :'(

- Jadzia's wedding dress :') i love her sm

- mirror!Bareil was only marginally less boring than regular Bareil

- love Julian meeting other autistic people and becoming even more powerful

- only thing harder than a quark B plot than a quark A plot! Magnificent Ferengi was so good lol

- they're really trying to make Dukat unredeemable but it won't work on me! I listen to Lana Del Rey! Bad guys forever! 😘

- Are there so many Quark episodes to cut the war stuff or am I just super into Quark.

- ps. My non-trekkie roommate said Quark has "something" and she "totally gets it" GIRL welcome to the club

- honey, i shrunk the ship

- Ok, dont love that dukat/kira's mom situation but my biggest question this ep was: can Bajorans time travel at any time???

- Sloan wants Julian carnally

- "So I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. I ate and left no crumbs in this episode."

-- Vic Fontaine...I don't understand you but I like your singing. Duet with Gaga when

- QUARK IN DRAG. FEMME QUARK. TRANS ICON QUARK.

- yay Keiko's back! But what is this episode (the feral Molly one) 🙃

- please no one speak to me about Jadzia ever again, I can't handle it, I miss her more than Worf does

Final thoughts: Quark has become my favourite character! Xoxoxo

And gimme more garashir you cowards!

[luludeluluramblings]

Smalltown!Reader Headcanons

Warning: Fem!Reader, Slight NSFW

A/N: If you don’t want Reader to be Fem! you can ignore. I’m more than content with that, and will do my best to keep Reader GN! in the main story.

Reader looks remarkably like Martha Wayne. She has the same grey eye color, dark curly hair, cheekbones, and chin. But, the rest is all her Momma.

Reader is from a small town in Louisiana. Somewhere outside of Lafayette.

Reader is of Creole and Cajun decent from her Momma’s side of the family. (There is a difference between the two. I also like to keep the skin tone ambiguous because of this.)

She has a Louisiana accent. (Gotham’s very own Southern Bell.)

Reader can speak French. Not completely fluent, but almost.

Reader prefers spicy food. Has a love for beignets too, due to shop in the Smalltown giving her a free one whenever she stopped by.

Reader is itty bitty titty committee member! She still got some meat on her, but she doesn’t have knockers. (I just want some small chested thick girl representation. Not a stick, just no tits.)

Reader can sing and play the guitar, not like a rockstar or some professional. Just fun and heartfelt.(Music vibes are the Crane Wives and Delta Rae.)

Reader loves fairs. Love’s the food, the music, the rides, the shows, the animals. Favorite part, cheating at the games.

Secretly is a Trekkie due to Daddy and Younger Brother’s influence. (I call Younger Brother Jean-Luc or Lukie-Boy in my head.)

Reader is more of tactician then most people realize. (Wayne genetics are strong.)

Do not let the innocent Smalltown charm fool you. Momma was a petty person and Reader takes after Martha Wayne in more than just looks. (And, in one universe, Martha Wayne becomes the Joker. Not saying that Reader will, but the tactical mindset is there.)

Reader can and is willing to play up kinks and flirt for tactical reasons. Will use Rizz to advantage. (Probably won’t use this in the story, but the idea is there.)

Reader is not a physical fighter. Too squishy and only slightly more flexible than average.

Is slightly spoiled. She didn’t grow up impoverished. (Smalltown wealthy is barely equal to Gotham middle class, though.)

Below is a doodle I made of Reader. I’m a bit out of practice. I’m serious, I barely have time to draw in recent years and legit just bought a sketch pad yesterday to get this out of my system.

[1trilliongrams]

⚠️ Attention Good Omens fans who aren’t Trekkies ⚠️

Have you seen this man? This is Alexander Siddig, birth name Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abdurrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi (صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي), son of Sudan and England, great-great-grandson of Nubian prophet Muhammad Ahmad, and a damn fine actor.

If Jesus is returning in Season 3, presumably older and wizened, there’s no better choice to portray him than Sid.

I call on the power of fans, heaven, and nightingales to make this happen.

(Also I invite you to become a Trekkie. Sid’s character is in queer relationship with a reptilian spy. That’s our jam, right?)

[startrekprodigyfan]

I’m halfway through the season now and I’ve started watching peoples reactions to the show…

And once again I am just frustrated by how adults treat Dal as a character. Nearly every video I’ve watched say he’s “regressed” in his character growth and they’re angry and frustrated that he’s “still the most annoying character.”

I’m going to continue to Stan for Dal, because I’ve both been him and seen kids like him growing up. I’ve mentioned before but I have ADHD and a lot of the way these adults watching this show treat Dal is the same way I was treated as a kid and it HURTS.

Everyone talks about how much potential he has, but then screams and yells about how irritating it is he doesn’t do the work and skips class and doesn’t seem interested in reading and it’s just… oh my god… you were my parents growing up!

Some people just don’t fit into that goody good student role. And it’s not because they’re dumb, or lazy, it’s because they’re not being given the tools they need to ENGAGE with the material.

I’m bad at math. Nearly flunked out of it when I was a kid. But when it comes to animation I can just do it on the fly. It becomes second nature to me when I’m applying it to something I know. But if you took me out of that scenario and gave me just a list of math problems I would struggle like there’s no tomorrow.

And that’s Dal! He has the instincts, the creativity, the split second wisdom to achieve things.. and that’s just not something you get from reading constantly. And it’s not like he doesn’t learn. Spoilers but he does eventually learn Temporal Mechanics 101 after a few episodes and he’s good at it!

Speaking as someone with ADHD and who requires medication and certain stimuli just to function properly as a person… I get it. I get Dal. And I can’t stand the way older Trekkies talk about him.

[anghraine]

The household Star Trek watch just hit The Wrath of Khan! I've seen it multiple times before, but it was really different to watch it so shortly after watching TOS and TMP.

My feelings are ... more complex now. Where Spock's character growth was randomly rewound in TMP for unexplained reasons, Wrath of Khan!Spock feels so much more the Spock he was becoming in TOS. He's older, steadier, and far less repressed while still retaining the composure and dignity that are so personally and culturally important to him. His sense of humor is still dry but less buried and harsh, he's reserved and unflinching in a very Spock way but it feels healthier and more integrated than anything he was capable of in TOS. I don't get the impression that he's at all ashamed of what he feels for Kirk at this point, nor ashamed of the strain of human qualities in himself.

I feel like we see how far Spock has come from his early shame and denial, for instance, when Kirk, McCoy, and Saavik go to beam to the research base. There's this less-repressed-than-formerly-but-still-powerful intensity between Kirk and Spock that, as ever, gives the distinct sense that everyone else just ceased to exist for them. Spock says outright, "Be careful, Jim" and it's very adorable and relatively open by Spock standards. And then professional hater McCoy is like ... oh, so am I chopped liver? while Saavik is just ????? and it's hilarious and just feels very recognizable.

I do think this film is kinder to McCoy than TMP and I appreciate seeing him quietly do his work as a doctor instead of haunting the bridge and needling Kirk and Spock, but he's a fairly muted presence in the film and still finds time to be a bigot. Not going to lie, it's incredibly cathartic when Spock uses his own prejudices against him and then tricks him into... uh, well, everything that's going to happen.

After all these years, Wrath of Khan!Saavik remains an absolute delight. She's trying so hard and Alley gives this great sense of a million thoughts going through her head at all times. It's really fun to see a very young Vulcan who isn't even pretending to have it all figured out, despite her rattling off rules and regulations. One of my favorite Saavik moments is when she's like "*gasp* You lied" in the most classic gifted-student-discovering-the-world way and Spock serenely replies, "I exaggerated."

(Spock is truly living his best life. I do not think this Spock has the slightest desire to be anywhere but where he is or anything but what he is, and it makes me very happy until aghghghhhhhaghhghgh.)

But anyway, Spock and Saavik have this really charming and understated mentor-protégée relationship that I like best in this iteration. (I don't care for the direction it goes in later for uhhh related reasons, but Alley's Saavik plays off of Nimoy—especially—and Shatner very enjoyably.)

Kirk is difficult for me, because the Kirk of the films in general just feels so far removed from TOS Kirk to me when he's not interacting with Spock. Yes, there's a familiarity evoked by Shatner's performances, and Kirk is compelling in this film, but ... it's a better film for Shatner than Kirk, if that makes sense? Shatner is genuinely quite good in it!

For one, I always forget that the hammy KHAN!!!!! is part of a cunning scheme in which Kirk is much more subtly slipping information to Spock and the frustrated rage is a performance for Khan, hammiest man in the universe. In reality, Kirk has a bunch of dialed-down emotional moments—the way he's quietly frustrated with Carol excising him from their son's life but still maintaining an amicable-exes relationship with her, for instance. But of course, the big one is Spock's death scene, especially that dreadful moment after Spock dies when Kirk just slumps against the radiation chamber looking almost confused in the way that grief really can just daze someone into that "puppet with the strings cut" quality. It's genuinely a heartrending moment.

For my ultra-Trekkie best friend J, Kirk's eulogy for Spock is the part that affects him most of all. And I get it! People tend to point to the twitchy "the most... human" part of it, but the most effective part for me is when Kirk is quoting Spock in the eulogy and saying he won't disrespect Spock's profound greatness by disputing his argument now, and he's clearly trying to be dignified and professional in a way Spock merits despite his own devastation, and then there's this shudder in his voice that is fantastic (and just, agggh). And I think "the most human" is pretty clearly not meant as a denial of Spock's Vulcanness, but an absolute rejection of virtually everyone's incessant treatment of Spock as subhuman for the crime of being biracial. Lots of good Shatner moments all around, though.

But.

So much of what's going on with Kirk's character arc seems grounded in what's established internally in the films and just overwriting major aspects of his TOS characterization and history. I dislike David Marcus for a ... lot of the film, and like, I appreciate him taking the initiative to set things right and acknowledge his misjudgment of his unexpectedly cool and newly bereaved father. But the approach being "I guess you never have really faced death before and having to process it is new for you" is extremely WTF when Kirk at this point has survived a genocide, lost much of his family including a brother and sister-in-law he seemed to be quite close to, has lost various good friends, there was the whole Edith Keeler thing among other losses he just had to keep powering through, and then at this point the person he has acknowledged as the closest person to him in the universe (one who had a significantly longer natural lifespan than him!) is also now dead.

And movie Kirk is like—yeah, I always came up with some trick to avoid ever facing death directly and I'm like WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS OBJECTIVELY FALSE. But the movie absolutely does not treat it that way! I do like David nervously turning back and acknowledging that he's proud of Kirk and the hug after such a monumental loss, but ... at what price.

This feels especially glaring because of the moments where we do get a pragmatic, reasonable Kirk whose priorities make perfect sense for his previous backstory, like:

DAVID: We appear to have plenty of time. KIRK: Is there anything to eat? I don't know about anyone else, but I'm starved. MCCOY: How can you think of food at a time like this? KIRK: First order of business, survival.

But it's important to his arc in the film that he's constitutionally unwilling to endure the weight of unwinnable scenarios, and is almost defined by being all about winning against any odds, and that's very weird to me. Kirk has always been determined and resourceful and cunning, yes—and we do get some of that here; he plays Khan like a fucking fiddle almost the whole time—but the possibility of loss never struck me as something he was refusing to contemplate.

Carol's dry line about how Kirk has never been a Boy Scout feels pretty specific to movie Kirk and pop culture Kirk, too. TOS Kirk is repeatedly described as having been solemn and bookish in early adulthood. Even in his thirties, he's not generally a maverick IMO; he won't subordinate all critical thinking and judgment to regulations, but he prefers to find some way to reconcile them if he can. His overriding driving motive is most often his sense of responsibility—to his crew, their ship, their mission, and the principles of the Federation and his brand of philosophical humanism. If he's got to break regulations to fulfill his deeper responsibilities, he will, but he'd much rather not!

You know who in TOS very much does have it in him to jeopardize everything out of loose cannon determination to blast through every obstacle unlucky enough to get in the way of his absolute refusal to accept loss? Spock. Spock risks the lives of hundreds of people in desperate and improbable attempts to get Kirk back, multiple times! In the context of his culture and even of Starfleet, he is far more of a maverick than Kirk ever was in TOS.

I know this sounds more negative than I want to be, because I'm very fond of this movie in its own right, and Kirk does have some fantastic Kirk-ly moments. We do get a strong sense of Kirk's intelligence and resourcefulness without TMP's device of everyone ganging up on him for reasons presented as sort of justifiable despite his completely accurate judgment of the urgency of the situation. But I'm reminded of the "Kirk drift" article about how post-TOS representations of Kirk seem to become increasingly representations of the idea of who Kirk was in TOS rather than having much to do with any particular details of Kirk's actual characterization in TOS.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

Changed my text message sound to the whistle from Star Trek TOS, now I am become a true Trekkie