#im sorry i just needed to vent
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Every time I find a new hobby, as the time progresses I get increasingly paranoid, that It's just a new hyperfixation and it will soon wear off. And thats depressive and I hate it.
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Going to try to do everything in my power to get me and my child out of my mother's house.
She's manipulative, she's petty as hell, shes very passive aggressive, she has threatened me numerous times that she will take him from me because she has grandparents rights and feels that me and my husband will not be able to provide for him.
We pay her 350 twice a month for rent on top of paying certain bills for her, our car payment, insurance, buying 500 plus worth of groceries every 2 weeks for not just for me and my child but for the entire household(there's 8 of us total and I'm responsible for everyone apparently)
Me my husband and my child are all stuck in one bedroom and the room is so cramped, granted he has his own bed but we need to leave. I can't keep raising him in a small bedroom.
I have been through so damn much with her narcissistic self and I can't take it anymore.
I feel like I'm dying.
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"I'm never mean to you!"
Mom, you interrupted me while I was excitedly telling you about something I drew to insult me about my body hair (i stupidly dared wore a vest top at home) and then proceeded to defend yourself by saying that you 'couldn't help but notice it' and then got pissy when I cried and refused to show you the picture afterwards and apparently couldn't understand why id be upset.
Mom, when I was trying to tell you about my special interest (Greek myth at the time) you leaned your head back, making stupid snoring noises and pretended to be asleep and then got upset at me because I got upset and now when I bring it up you deny it ever happening.
Mom, when I tried to tell you about a guy in school in first year that kept asking that I get with his friends and laughing at me when I said I was lesbian, you laughed and told me that 'maybe he just likes you' before going on to talk about how a guy in work is 'stalking' you because he works at the same building, takes the same bus and knew your name
Now i'm not telling you that this year he joked about how much he wanted to see his friends scissor me.
"i'm just trying to toughen you up"
Dad, when I cut my foot open on a nail and was leaving bloody foot prints around the house as I limped you told me I 'wasnt dying so I was fine'.
I was ten. So now I dont even bother mention when i'm injured and learned to suck it up and fix it myself.
Dad, after lockdown when I got my report card and you saw I got above average for English you said it wasnt good enough for someone like me, as both mom and me said that all grades were marked down due to the lockdown
Dad, when a girl shoved me into a wall while her sister yelled insults at me and i ran home crying you told me to just go back out and not let her ruin my day.
I was 11.
Dad, during our trip to spain last year you got mad at me because I was overstimulated at a pub i was begging for you to not bring everyone to because i hated it last time and then guilt tripped me about how id ruin everything for my siblings if we had to leave and that i should just learn to deal with it because 'i'm like you'
Dad, I got jealous of the dog when I hear you talk to it so softly because I dont remember the last time you said you loved me.
Dad on the day of my confirmation you said you couldnt go to the city with me to our favorite bookshop like you promised because you had work but I heard you tell my younger brother that you and him could watch Venom through the door.
Dad, i went to my room and cried in my comfirmation dress that i dont remember the color of because of that.
Dad, whenever I mess up, I call myself a Retard and hear it in your voice.
Mom and dad i feel more at home with the people I roleplay with than i do with you.
#im sorry i just needed to vent#i feel like i missed somethings#wolffox speaks#personal vent#might delete later#parent issues#i wish i could hold my pastself
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I just got called preachy and annoying by my sister cause I didn't want to see the new Millie Bobby Brown netflix movie together with her because millie supports Israel, I stand by my principles and it hurts to see my family call me names just because of it, like people are dying and I said I could pirate the movie for us to watch, but they just seem to not care that people are dying right now just because it's a continent away, I didn't say to my sister she should not watch just said I wouldn't because I don't want to support zionistic douchebags is that so bad?
#Im sorry i just needed to vent#wont tag this Palestine to not clog up the tag with unnecessary information#my vents
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I need that eternal sunshine of the spotless mind person erasure so fucking bad like fuck you how fucking dare you just waltz back in like nothing ever fucking happened??? You're the one who said you didn't want me anymore and it hurt and I tried so hard to move on and I did but now you just litteraly waltz up next to me like nothing happened, offering to buy me a drink and acting all buddy buddy. You even fucking texted me and imposed yourself on my night and you know what? I felt fucking bad for you and I hate that, you ruined my night it was just supposed to be me and my friends but no, like she said, you think you can just walk in and out of people's life as you please. The worst part is now I can't stop thinking about you despite hating you, this is last summer all over again. I wish you would just fucking die and let me move on again
#im sorry i just needed to vent#this is my edgy diary everybody just pretend we're goths on livejournal in the 2004
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Not a moment of rest.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#low key vent art but im doing better now :D#i started my post graduate and the week was just kinda A Lot#i rly need to open comms but anxiety nghngh#anw#akechi having a bad time always helps me cope I'm so sorry akechi
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"it's just me."
you barely get a chance to roll onto your back before soonyoung's already climbing onto the bed and somewhat on top of you and your blankets, and it's only seconds later that he crashes. it's far from the first time this has happened (soonyoung is clingy and cuddly, especially when he's sleepy), but he manages to knock the wind out of you nonetheless. he rests his head on your chest, and you wiggle an arm out to curl around him as best as you can in your semi-trapped position.
"soonyoung--"
"just go back to sleep," he murmurs. "everything's fine."
you stroke his hair, thumb dipping down to graze his cheek at one point. "soonie--"
"i mean it," he says, eyes peering up in the low light to see yours. "i'm fine. just need to nap." his hand finds yours, and he wraps your arm around him as he snuggles in. he plants a kiss against your chest before resting his head against it again, eyes fluttering shut. "you can rest a little longer, too."
you settle back down after a moment, arms wrapped around soonyoung as you shut your eyes again. sometimes you swear this tiger is a teddy bear, but regardless of which he is, he's yours.
#nonranghaes.thoughts#seventeen drabbles#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#hoshi x reader#hoshi fluff#kwon soonyoung x reader#kwon soonyoung fluff#nonranghaes.svt#hi sorry i just. needed to write something short n soft#tw for medical stuff in the tags but i need to call hospice abt a catheter bc shes... getting weaker ultimately#which. i dont know if i should be Worried or if this is normal for someone in her condition yknow?#we've started tracking how much she eats bc shes never rly ate much like. Ever. and its hard to know when shes fully pulling back from food#most of the time though its just... quiet. she just sleeps a lot. i dont know what to make of it...#anyway sorry for the small vent here im just... getting through it all ig#i need a soonyoung to cuddle with and to help me feel like i can make it through this
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the thing that sets apart hua cheng from most other devotee/worshipper-type relationships in other media is that hua cheng would actually throw himself on his knees and crawl across the floor if xie lian wanted to, he would demean himself without shame because shame comes from the perception that you have done something wrong or foolish in another's eyes, and hua cheng would never see his god's will as either, nor care for anyone's else's opinion
#i was so happy when i read tgcf because this is what i mean when i want hopelessly devoted love interests#too many of these (dark) fantasy male love interests dont even treat her with basic respect#like what do you MEAN they drag her around and demean her#theyre often assholes at best and abusers at worst#there is no devotion or worshipping to be found#''he would kill for her'' but would he make peace with his enemies for her?? would he SAVE his enemies for her??#hua cheng would#hua cheng also wouldnt dream of ordering xie lian around#he told xie lian once not to get involved with the wind and water master but when xie lian did that anyone#all he said was ''thats okay baby i told you before: just do what you want to do ill be here for you either way<3''#he only intervenes more forcefully for xie lian's protection and he clearly HATES doing that#sorry for the vent but im tired of seeing the worshipper trope done so badly!!#where are the statues!! the murals!! the devouring need to be with them!! why arent these men on their knees!!!#hua cheng#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#xie lian#hualian
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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Can you please get a journal
i assume you’re the same person who keeps sending snarky messages everytime i vent but you really do not have to follow me i know its annoying or whatever to see me vent time and time again but you literally do not need to see it
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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Leo going through the horrors but the horrors are just that he had a shitt day and no one bothered to save him any cookies :/
#vent art#uhhh ig this needs warnings#harmful stims#sometimes ya gotta bite to regulate okay#im not saying its OKAY#im just#ugh#im too tired to bother ill delete it if someone doesn't like it#having a shitty time for no reason#sorry if its illegible biut also i dont really care rn#tw bad coping mechanisms#trolls is not the bad coping mechanism#its like the ONE good one#whet william#highly reccomend rtrolls#general tw#lemme know if it needs mopre#or if i need to delete it idk#my brai is mad fuzzy rn#somehow drawing it makes it seem even more stupid in hindsight#ah wel
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king baldwin iv x reader {“flowers of my love.”}
thinking about king baldwin iv again, and i have a personal (and also probably extremely ooc (pLEASE DONT COME FOR ME)) headcannon that he’s the type to gift you flowers;
dahlias and roses and stocks and orchids, camellias and amaryllis-es and hydeangeas and tulips, carnations and sunflowers and daisies.
his growing illness confines him to his chambers far too often, and, left alone in an aching solitude that baldwin thinks he should be used to now, he’ll read. and it’s through this - books upon books, pages upon pages, words upon words of so, so many stories he’ll never get to live through - that he discovers the language of flowers.
flowers for sadness, for fear, for anger, for hurt, for love- flowers for a whole language of feelings he doesn’t dare to confess to you.
so instead he leaves them in your chambers, the delicate things, (little confessions on their own) in silk cloth bouquets and pretty-necked vases, in twine-bound bunches and satin soft ribbons, never daring to give them to you in person.
(but, unbeknownst to him, you lovingly press them all.)
#i have no idea why but the thought of him and flowers is just HHHHHHHHHH#nd im sorry if this sounds weird but its sort of a vent so 🫠#i need someone like him in my life.#and i dont even mean romantically or anything#i'd just feel so calm and peaceful in his presence#far away from all the chaos for once#i feel like im rotting from the inside out#but ANYWAYSSS#hope you enjoy!! :)#king baldwin iv#king baldwin#koh#kingdom of heaven 2005#edward norton#king baldwin iv x reader#king baldwin x reader#speaking of koh#i STILL haven’t watched it yet haha#crappy ass title btw#AGAIN
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Guess whos gonna be angry for the rest of the night because religious issues✨✨✨✨
#I really gotta stop going through the comment sections of any tiktok about religious trauma#cause most of them are just christians saying how he has a plan and how he loves us#because#.what kind of loving god lets a 12yr old beg for the life of another 12yr old?#Look me in the eye and tell me that that was his plan. LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME A GOD IS LOVING WHEN HE DOES THIS TO HIS CHILDREN#If the Christian god is real and i face him then one of us will have to beg for forgivness and it wont be me#religious trauma#atleast Ares protects his daughters.#it hurts so bad#I want to put the anger away. I want to look at church windows and not want to throw rocks at it#because how fucking dare he do this to me#im sorry i just needed to vent
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i still haven’t really had the time to process my emotions but i really am soooo upset that we didn’t get a funeral …….. like . there are a lot of things i forgive akutami for because of how awful his work schedule must be / how hellish writing is in general but choosing to throw in that last minute mission instead of a funeral to really show grief over gojo’s death is not one of them …… i just don’t really understand it? i’ve always disagreed with the fandom’s ooc allegations and i still do now because nothing the characters did or said this chapter was ooc, but if they aren’t shown grieving beforehand then obviously people are going to feel that gap… :’)
the literal only issue is that what we know must have happened between these chapters wasn’t shown to us. and that just makes me so so sad . we know how many people cared about gojo, yuji tells him that ’none of us could ever forget you’ and maybe that’s akutami’s way of showing that, but since the characters don’t even explicitly mention that he’s dead everything just falls kinda flat … i’m still praying on my knees for an ova chapter / for mappa to add stuff in season 4, but rn i just feel very sad :< the gap of writing quality between 261 and 271 is just really jarring … i liked a lot of things in this chapter. but i just can’t get past the funeral thing …….
#sorry i needed to . vent#😭😭#like as always im a filthy contrarian and i disagree with the fandom on a lot of things#but this chapter really had soooo much wasted potential#that i just dont . understand . like actually#i cant think of a reason why akutami would avoid dealing with gojo’s death properly#Unless he’s planning some sort of . extra thing. i don’t know#like genuinely i really loved the sukuna ending. and i loved all of nobara’s scenes#loved the final page with sukuna’s finger#but . everything else . was just#…. why#pdjdkdjdk#ari noises ✩#jjk leaks#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers
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Someone send me strength not to blow up in a colleagues face who keeps nagging me TO GET A FUCKING BOYFIEND FUCK OFFF IM AROACE IVE TOLD HER TWENTY FUCKING TIMES IM NOT INTERESTED IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT BUT SHE KEEPS GOING I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD
Apparently not wanting to be in a relationship is making me immature and inexperienced. APPARENTLY I'm fucking stupid if I'm not attracted to men AND THATS NOT THE WORST PART. I could have handled this easier if I WASNT ALSO NONBINARY! The idea of a relationship isn't so revolting as much AS THE FACT THIS GIRL KEEPS REMINDING ME EVERYONE VIEWS ME AS A FEMALE FUCK FUCK FUCK IVE BEEN SO GROSSED OUT WITH MYSELF FOR DAYS AND MY DYSPHORIA IS SKYROCKETING
#im sorry if this is too much of a vent i just needed to get it off my chest#nonbinary#non binary#trans#transgender#genderqueer#ace#aro#asexuality#aromanticism#asexual#aromantic#aspec#aroace#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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