#im sorry i just can't keep lying to myself any more

[brianssock]

When someone asks me what my biggest fear is but I can't say losing people that I've never met so I say the ocean.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

Omg I love your writing can you please do a smut fic for Bruce Wayne’s wife asking him to be rough with her like asking to be spanked and chocked because he keeps treating her like she’s fragile and refuse to be rough in bed, she’s really small in stature so he’s always been scared of actually hurting her but she finally convinces him to finally be rough with her. Please ❤️❤️

GRRRR FOAMING AT THE MOUTH ON THIS ONE ABSOLUTELYYY

Sorry this one took a while to write, just had a major snowstorm recently that made a tree fall on the powerlines to my house. Currently running on mobile data to write this bc I won't have wifi till Sunday😀

Like You're Made of Glass

Bruce Wayne x Wife! Reader

Smut and a bit of fluff mixed in.

Alsooo!!! As per the request, the reader is depicted to be quite a fair bit smaller than Bruce, but if anybody wants a Plus Sized reader fic, Im totally down! We love body positivity over here, no matter who you are💜

"Come on, Bruce," Your voice is barely more than a soft, seductive whisper as your arms wrap around his broad, toned shoulders, "I'm not made of glass, you know." Bruce has been at it for hours at this point, the posture of his back absolutely suffering as he continues filling out paperwork at his desk. You would honestly be lying if you said it wasn't attractive, though: driven men are just so... Admirable.

Bruce couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that, despite barely glancing up from his patrol reports as you hug him from behind. "No, you're not," Your husband agrees softly, his voice, albeit slightly gruff from disuse over the past few hours, filling the study air with such a soothing melody. "But you are my wife. And, as far as I'm concerned, a certain Mrs. Wayne vowed that she would keep herself safe from any potential threat the night before we got married. That does include myself, for your information."

A soft huff falls from your lips at that, the sound echoing through the, otherwise silent, secured office. "And, as far as I'm concerned, a certain Mr. Wayne vowed to do anything for my happiness on our wedding day," The tease leaves your mouth as it finds it's way to his neck, the sound slightly muffled as you press soft, loving kisses to his tense muscles. "You promised a unicorn, if I wanted it."

He really couldn't help but crack a soft smile at that, which was a rare sight from the, otherwise stoic, Batman. A deep breath and slight sigh escapes his mouth as the pen leaves his hands and rests on the piles of milky, white papers. Bruce couldn't help but let his head fall to the side slightly to rest upon your cheek, which is still burried into the crook of his neck.

"I did promise you a unicorn," He agrees yet again in an even softer tone. That was the tone he used when he considered caving to his darling wife's pleading (which he almost always did). "And your happiness," Bruce adds after a moment as he lets his weary eyes flutter closed, breathing in your familiar and comforting scent.

“But happiness isn’t just about unicorns and fairy tales, Bruce,” you respond, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. The warmth in your eyes contrasts the cool sterility of the office, sparking something intense in the depths of his dark eyes. “It’s also about being able to live fully in every aspect, even between us.”

He furrows his brow slightly, processing your words, but he can't deny the heat rising from where your bodies almost touch and how it made his pants feel just that bit tighter. You have a way of igniting feelings he'd long buried under layers of duty and responsibility. “I just… I want you safe,” he replies, his voice a low rumble that sends shivers down your spine.

“I know you do,” you assure him, reaching out to trace your fingers along the strong line of his jaw. “But sometimes, I need you to let go—just a little. You don’t always have to protect me. I’m not a delicate flower needing shelter from the storm. I can handle more than you think.”

A flicker of uncertainty dances across his sharp features as he considers your request. His instincts scream at him to be careful, to treat you with the utmost caution. It feels impossible to shake the weight of years spent fighting villains and guarding against any potential harm. But then again, you’ve never been one to shrink back from challenges.

“And what exactly are you suggesting?” he questions, half-teasing, half-serious, lifting an eyebrow. The tension in the spacious office thrummed with electricity, and his heart raced in anticipation of your answer.

Your lips curl into a confident smile, emboldened by a newfound sense of liberation. “I’m saying… I want you to be you,” you say, your voice steady and full of promise. “The true you. Your passion is part of who you are, Bruce. Embrace it—embrace me. Let’s shake things up a bit.”

He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, the playful challenge hanging thick between you. “You mean you want the Batman?” he asks, his voice lowering further, laced with a darker edge that sends a thrill coursing through you.

“Exactly.” You lean closer, your breath fanning over his skin, whispering sweetly, “I want you to show me how much you can handle without worrying if it will break me.”

Bruce studies you closely, weighing the implications of your daring invitation. What if he lost control? What if he did hurt you, despite knowing you were more than capable of taking care of yourself? But then again, this was another side of you he had never truly explored. This vulnerable yet fierce woman in front of him—the perfect blend of softness and strength.

“Alright,” he finally concedes, his deep voice wrapping around you like a warm embrace. “But if I lose myself—”

“You won’t,” you interrupt, capturing his gaze with yours. “Trust me. Just let go.”

In that moment, the barriers that had always kept him restrained began to crumble. He leaned forward, capturing your lips with his, the kiss igniting a spark that felt both electrifying and intoxicating. The gentle brush of your mouths transformed into something deeper, more fervent, an unspoken promise exchanged in the heated embrace.

The tension of the day melted away, replaced by the rhythm of inspiration and passion. As you pulled him closer, your body pressed firmly against his, the world outside ceased to exist. Time stood still in the sanctity of the study as both of you surrendered to the moment, determined to reveal the hidden depths of your love for one another.

Bruce's hands found your waist, gripping the soft fabric of your shirt as he deepened the kiss, seeking to possess and protect all at once. There was urgency in his movements now, a storm brewing beneath the surface that had long been contained. Your heart raced at the primal energy radiating from him, and you could feel the anticipation thrumming through every fiber of your being.

Breaking the kiss, his breath was heavy and warm against your lips. "You want me to be rougher, then," he murmured, almost as if solidifying the agreement into existence. "Is that what you really want?"

You nodded vigorously, feeling your cheeks flush with a mix of excitement and desire. “Yes, Bruce. I’m ready. Just… take care of me afterward.”

With that affirmation ringing in his ears like a battle cry, Bruce transitioned effortlessly into this new role — the man beneath the mask, the guardian who had finally allowed vulnerability within the sanctuary of your shared intimacy.

He pushed you back until the desk met the small of your back, a flash of surprise dancing across your features. But before you could second-guess yourself, he captured your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. His frame loomed over yours, an embodiment of strength and restraint, the very image of the Batman you knew.

“Remember,” he said, his voice low and gravelly, “if it gets to be too much, you tap out.”

“Okay,” you whispered, anticipation flooding your veins.

With a quick motion, he brought his other hand down, delivering a sharp smack against your thigh that sent a jolt of electrifying pleasure coursing through you. You gasped, not from pain, but from exhilaration, your body instinctively arching to welcome him deeper into your world. A thrill spread through you as he leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear.

“Good girl,” he praised, another spank following, each strike sharper yet tinged with the tenderness of his touch. You squirmed beneath him, relishing the balance of pleasure and pain, the way that every strike lit up your skin and left a burning mark of his possession.

“More,” you urged, desperation coloring your tone, and he didn't hesitate to comply. Each slap echoed throughout the office, a rhythm punctuated by your soft cries and the heat radiating from Bruce’s body. He watched you carefully, assessing your reaction, the fierce protectiveness never fully disappearing from his gaze.

As the strikes continued, he leaned down and captured your neck between his fingers, applying just enough pressure to send a thrilling rush through your body without choking you. “You’re doing so well for me,” he murmured in that deep, gravelly tone that made your heart race even faster.

His actions intensified the fire within you, igniting a need that warped your perception of time and space. As he toyed with your neck, whispering praises and encouragements, your body responded instinctively, hungry for more of him, more of this exhilarating freedom he was giving you.

“Please, Bruce,” you gasped, your voice almost pleading. It felt like a confession, one that laid bare more than just the physical hunger you craved. “I want everything you can give me.”

A growl rumbled in his chest at that, a sound so primal and beautiful that it sent shockwaves through your entire being. A wicked grin crept onto his face as he transitioned from teasing strokes to something far more feral. He released your wrists, only to shift his grip to your hair, his fingers curling around the strands tightly yet tenderly.

“You asked for it,” he warned, a playful glint in his eyes before leaning forward, claiming your mouth with his again, the taste of you igniting the raw side of his nature. The kiss held none of the gentleness he usually afforded you; instead, it was possessive, driving, demanding.

As he did so, one of his large, calloused hands made it's way beneath your skirt to gently tease the skin of your thigh. The warm appendage slowly traveled up your leg, cupping the mass of your hip while his fingers slipped beneath the stretchy elastic of your panties. They were the pretty, lacy ones he picked up on his last big work trip out of the country.

The warmth of his lips was soon missed, however, as they trailed away from your own. But before you could whine at the loss of contact, his mouth trailed down to your jawline and neck, sucking and biting deep, purple marks into your delicate skin.

You didn't even have a chance to let out a small whimper at the assault on your neck before the sound of fabric ripping could be heard throughout the lavishly-decorated room. "Bruce!" You complain with a soft pout as you feel the reminants of the lacy cloth slipping down your thighs before landing in a small pile of shreds on the carpet floor.

"My deepest apologies, Mrs. Wayne," Bruce didn't bother to lift his head from your neck as he gave that shit-eating grin that you seldom see. He wasted no time in trailing his ring finger along your slick heat, collecting some of the moisture previously accumulating in your panties before trailing the digit up and around your sensitive bundle of nerves. "They're replaceable."

It didn't take long for your hips to be twitching softly, your husband's index and middle fingers tortuously and slowly trailing back to your weeping hole. His warm, calloused thumb moved to rub soft, languid circles on your clit as the digits slid their way inside of you, his lips never ceasing their attack on your, now bruising, neck.

"Baby-" Your whines were shortened in record time as Bruce used his free hand to cover your mouth, squeezing just enough on your jaw to get the point across. The slight stretch of his thick, long fingers inside of your cunt was divine: you almost couldn't help it.

"Speak when you're spoken to, beautiful," his voice was barely more than a rough whisper as his lips moved down your chest, removing the hand from your mouth to undo the first couple of buttons on your blouse. "I wouldn't want my wife out of place, would I? It's not safe for Batman's woman not to listen when given instructions."

His tone was almost enough to send shivers down your spine as your hips twitched yet again as his fingers pumped at a quickened pace, scissoring your gummy walls open to eventually accomodate for his girthy length. Almost immediately, your thigh is met with yet another loud 'smack!' in the otherwise quiet office. "Fuck, Bruce..." A soft whine escapes you, filling the air with your husband's favorite melody. He'd let you off the hook for speaking... This time, at least.

It felt like forever that Bruce spent eagerly fingering your dripping cunt, but that was to be expected. Even if he agreed to let go for the night, he could never risk seriously hurting his beautiful wife by not prepping her correctly. But, eventually, you felt that oh-so familiar tightening sensation in your stomach, your clit burning with pleasure as your husband rubbed at the sensitive spot.

But, then, he stopped.

Bruce had never denied you an orgasm before. In all honesty, you thought you were going to cry as he pulled his fingers away from your cunt, the muscles now clenching desperately around nothing but thin air. Before you could so much as make a pout, he was holding his two fingers to your lips, the digits gleaming with your own fluids. "Suck."

And, for a moment, you laid there as you processed his command. The gesture seemed so obscene but, god, you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on nonetheless. So, you gently parted your plush, kiss-swollen lips for him and embraced the pallete of the liquids created by none other than your weeping, aching hole.

Bruce let out a soft, pleased hum at that, pushing his fingers completely into your mouth before slowly unbuckling his belt with his unoccupied hand. You couldn't help but notice that it was tour favorite belt, the one with your initials engraved into the metal clasp currently making it's way to the carpeted floor of the study.

As always, you felt your heart give a soft flutter at the sight of your husband's hard, leaking cock as he freed it of his boxers, letting them fall down to his ankles before stepping out of them and allowing then to join the pile of scraps you once called your favorite panties. You were so entranced by Bruce you hadn't even noticed that youd stopped sucking on his soaked digits.

'Smack!'

Yet another echo came from the soft skin of your thigh as his free hand came in contact with it, the lewd sound bouncinf off of the filled bookcases. "Did I ever tell you to stop?" The tone he used was one you very rarely got to hear, usually reserved for the scumbags he interrogated during the dark Gotham nights.

It was hot.

You shook your head slightly as you looked up at those beautiful, blue eyes, now darkened with what could only be described as feral lust. This, yet again, earned a soft hum of approval from your husband. "Good girl..." He praised in a soft whisper, his unoccupied hand reaching to carefully align the tip of his length up with your heat. "I want you to tap out if it's too much. I need you to tap out if it's too much.

And before you could even utter another whimper, Bruce was sinking his girthy cock into your wet folds. He wasted no time in plowing himself into you, the hard slapping echoing through the study so loudly that you worried if one of the kids were to walk by, they'd have a horrendous image of their adoptive parents burned into their skulls. But all of those thoughts vanished as Bruce shoved his fingers even further down your throat, just barely leaving you enough room to breathe without a significant struggle.

If you had the ability to, your head would be falling back and your jaw would be slack in utter ecstasy. The most you could do for the moment was moan around your husband's thick fingers while he plowed into you, the mahogany desk creaking slightly from the pressure below. In all honesty, you were convinced Bruce would break the desk before he was through. Even then, it didn't seem like he had any intentions of stopping.

"Such a good girl for me..." This was so much different than the Bruce you were used to. Your Bruce held you as close as possible while whispering declarations of love and claiming that you're the best thing to ever happen to him. This Bruce wasn't holding you like a porcelain doll, but instead keeping himself at the best angle to ram into your pretty pussy as hard as he could. "That's my pretty little cunt, isn't it?"

The best you could do was let out a pornographic whine around his fingers, spit dripping down from the corners of your stuffed lips and making it's way down tour flushed and heated cheeks. Despite his literal decades of experience, it took all of his effort not to cum right then and there with your warm, gummy walls milking his length.

Pound after pound.

Slap after slap.

For what felt like eternity, that's all that could be heard. At this point in your sexual adventure, Bruce was determining that he much rathered ramming into your tight little hole when you were still partially clothed. It gave him something more to imagine the next time he saw you in the office and didn't have the chance to bend you over his desk.

And, for the second time that night, you felt that firey, knotted feeling arising in the pits of your stomach. As your fingers reached up to gently tangle your fingers into his, now messy, hair and give it a soft tug, the most you could do otherwise was give him a pleading look, silently begging for him not to rip away yet another orgasm in one night.

At first, Bruce debated edging you at least once more. But when he finally looked into those gorgeous eyes, now hazed over with need, trust, and love, he decided that the rest of the teasing could wait for another night. "Are you going to cum, beautiful?" His voice is ragged and interrupted by a soft groan as he speaks. "Is my pretty little wife going to cum all over my cock?"

While you nodded desperately, still begging for your release to be granted, he kept his pace steady while giving a soft nod, the hair on his forehead sticking slightly with the sheen layer of sweat forming. Within moments, your gummy walls were clenching down around his thick length like there was no tomorrow, covering his shaft with the milky fluid that splashed up onto his pelvic bone and thighs slightly. "Bruce..." Your endless whimpers of his name were bately audible over the thick digits still shoved into your mouth.

As Bruce's hips began to stutter and his groans became more prominent, you wrapped your sore and achy legs around him. "Stay," You whimpered as he removed his fingers in favor of wrapping his arms around your shoulders, almost hugging you as he kept you pinned over the mahogany desk. "Give it to me. Don't pull out. Don't you fucking dare pull out."

That was all it took for Bruce's face to be burried in your shoudler, letting out a low moan as his cock painted your insides with his sperm. Even after he came, your husband still moved slowly in and out of your weeping cunt, prolonging the ecstasy of both of your orgasms as long as possible. Had the two of you ever talked seriously about kids? No, but he could pick up a Plan B in the morning.

"Fuck..." Was all Bruce muttered into your skin before peppering your skin in light kisses, each one trailing upward until his lips met yours in a soft, loving contact. This was the loving husband you were used to. When he finally pulled away and helped brush some of the hair now sticking to your forehead from the sheer layer of sweat covering your body out of the way, he only had three words. "I love you."

Masterlist

[helplessautomaton]

My Bloody Valentines ‧₊˚☁️⋅♡𓂃ִֶָ࣪☾。

-Writing event (CLOSED)

EDIT: added more prompts! go wild

hello!!, figuring since valentines is coming up i wanted to do something along these lines and this is what i came up with. all of these will be gender neutral when it comes to the reader. do feel to request multiple (max 2) prompts in, thank you!

Edit: for posting, they will be posted one every day, may do two post one day but dont count on it.

Characters im doing for this: Jouno, Tecchou, Nikolai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Tachihara, Poe, Sigma, Atsushi, Mushitaro, Akutagawa, Lucy.

just going small for now cause i dont want to overwhelm myself, have fun!

Prompts:

1, “you know i wasn't lying when i said i'd kill for you” 2, “even if you do hate me, it doesn't matter, i really love you” 3, “don't you see? I'm the only one who really cares for you”

4, “i'm so glad you feel the same cause i refuse to leave you” 5, “you're my only reason im doing this” 6, “I love it when you scream and it's all because of me!”

7, “don't you see the lengths I'm going for you?” 8, “someday i wish to eat your heart and maybe then we'll be together in eternity.” 9, “I hope you know, we will die together and there's nothing stopping that.”

10, “i.. i promise there is nothing in the candy.” 11, “all my dreams are full of you.” 12, “please.. just let me hold you.”

13, “Keep looking at others and I will gift you their eyes.” 14, “you’re gonna love me back.” 15, “stop crying, please stop crying, you’re ruining our perfect day together..”

16, “don't worry, this blood isn't mine” 17, “your tears are because you’re happy right? 18, “you don't get it, i'm the only one who understands you!”

19, “I'm gonna find out about them eventually and when I do they will be out of the way and it will just be us.” 20, “why are you sad? Did someone hurt you?, i’ll get rid of them for you” 21, “I don't regret any of the blood I have gotten on my hands, it's for you and only you!”

22, “why can't you accept that you’re mine and everyone who gets in the way will end up dead?” 23, “I warned you, now they’re dead and it's all because you didn't listen dear.” 24, “sorry for the mess! Red looks so pretty on you anyways”

25, “stop calling me those names, i understand you’re still in shock but i'm not a monster, if i let things continue who knows what would’ve happened to you!” 26, ‘you don't understand the lengths I'm willing to go through to keep you safe, even if it means going against what I think is right. 27, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you’ll understand eventually why I had to do this.. Stop it with those eyes and tears please..”

[mikanlardyclinic]

"Oi kale been waiting for you at the usual spot for a while! Everything okay?.."

"i..I'm okay! J...Just d..don't come in please.. I..im not feeling okay! I..i can't train with you today.. S..sorry!.."

"kale! You've been saying the same excuse for 3 months! I haven't seen you leave the room once! Listen i care for ya but I'm getting worried I'm going in! If you're in your underwear or somethin just cover yourself as best you can!"

THUMP... THUMP!

"huh?.. What.. The.. Kale did you block the door with somethin?.. Come on! You know damn well that won't work just because i don't like wrecking our hideout that doesn't mean i won't do it! You got me worried sick over here!"

"j..just don't come in please!!.."

"kale if you got hurt or something atleast let me see it so i can help you!"

THUMP.. CRACK!!

Caulifla's fist broke through the door grabbing something squishy while looking for the handle..

"The hell?! Did you smuggle a new throne for me or something?! Wow.. This stuff is really soft like jello... a..anyhow! I'm still coming in!"

"n..no please d..dont!"

Caulifla entered the room cleaning some debri from her fist as whe looked at the reason why kale didn't wanna come out..

"P..please d..dont look at me!!"

"sniff.. P...please..sniff.. C..close t..the door please d..dont.. Don't look at me.. !"

Tears streamed from the timid saiyan's face her sweaty lardy body exposed.. All that hard work done with caulifla buried beneath heavy layer of lard..

"oh.. Oh.. Oh crud.. Kale kale calm down.. Shit maybe i shouldn't have come in.. I was just worried nobody's seen you in weeks and i didn't know if you even wanted to hang out with me anymore.. Just. Okay okay calm down please.."

Caulifla hugged her protege her arms burying into her sides and into the sweaty rolls in kale's body.. She reeked of sweat and food.. She hadn't even gone out for a shower..

"it's okay.. I..im sorry if i was too rash just tell me what happened.. Why don't you wanna go train with me? Or hang out anywhere for that matter! "

"i..it's.. I.. I don't wanna hurt you!.. L..last t..time i really really hurt you.. I was so scared i blacked out while sparing and i woke up with you on the brink of death!.. I..i don't want to harm you.. A..and i..i ruined this body so much.. T..the body you helped me tone a..and that you looked so happy to see grow.. "

"and after that you went to hide and keep eating the normal amount we usual eat right?.."

caulifla gropes kale's gut trying to derrail the conversation a bit.. She was also scared at that moment not of getting killed.. But that she had pushed kale too far.. That she might have been unable to get back undercontrol.. That she would become a mindless beast.. She liked fighting with kale.. But she didn't want her to be lost in bloodlust or self hatred forever..

".. Listen i get it i was a tiiiiny bit scared then too.. But when you started avoiding me i thought i had really messed up as well.. I won't push ya to train anymore i get that you don't like fighting me.. Plus it's not like you destroyed it.. Your body is still yours you treat it how you wanna! I don't mind you being buff or a complete butterball you dummy! I love ya all the same! "

"you're not mad?.. I..I've been just gorging myself in here and lying to you for so long.. I..i don't think I'll ever be in any condition to spar or train again.."

"of course not you dummy! I care more about you being okay than you getting stronger pluuuus!!"

"with all this extra plush you're even softer to cuddle with! So just relax and keep gorging yourself if you wanna! I just want you to feel okay! Buut if you ever wanna lose the tummy you tell me okay?.."

"Y..yes! G..gosh you just lifted a weight off my shoulders caulifla i..i really d..didn't know how to talk to you about this and.. Eeep!"

"And speaking of lifting weights!" caulifla lifted kale's gut with one hand seeing the unbuckled belt and shorts struggling to contain the saiyan's girl fupa

"if you ever need help relieving some stress around don't be shy and just ask!~ i wouldn't mind going spelunking under there~"

A brightblush appeared on the flabby girl face..

"I..I'll k..keep that in mind hehe!~"

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Looooong ass vent

TW for: Self hate. Lots of swearing. Use of not nice words. Eating disorders, purging, self harm, suicide, rants, venting, tons of triggers, dissociation, lying, all caps, me whining, me being a bitch, mistreatment, body shaming, hateful stuff, mental illness, all that- like seriously this has more TWs than I can think of. .

I'm a jealous person. I'm sorry, it's true. I'm jealous when other people have art that gets 40, 50, more notes. I get jealous when my friends have better friends than I ever could be. I get jealous of song writers because damnit please I want to make music. I get jealous of others art,voices, bodies. I get so jealous I get mad at nothing over nothing. I get jealous at others art styles, at other success, i get jealous at my own FRIENDS wow I'm awful

I'm selfish. I'm greedy because I can't just- be fucking happy with what i do have. I can't be patient to get better at drawing, better at recording my voice, more freedom. I am never satisfied, I'm a fucking whore for any sort of love and attention and likes and reblogs. You hear me? I'm, a, whore.

And I'm fucking awful because I can't take criticism for shit, I get so fucking unhappy at it and I lie and I say I'm happy to receive it. I lie all the time like this, I'm a dishonest whore, that's worse than a normal whore! I get so bent out of shape!

And I want to make it big in the Tumblr community BUT FUCK IT BECAUSE I NEVER FOCUS ON ONE THING

M so impatient

And when I talk to my friends I-

I forget all that. I calm down, I feel... wanted.

But I'm burdening them. I'm burdening them I'm burdening them I'm I'm fucking selfish and horrible because they give and give and give and I take like a needy selfish greedy whore.

AND I DON'T SHUT UP, I'm sorry I'm sorry I never shut up

...I'm... awful. And... I shouldn't keep posting shit like this, because nobody should have to read my rambling and shit and I'm overreacting and I want to die and

Im useless irl BTW. I've been nothing but a stupid moody bitch the past two weeks, I stay up all night doing nothing and wake up at 5 pm like a useless piece of human shit that should burn in the garbage

I keep forgetting who I am, who is talking too

Im sooooooooo uselessssssssssss

Its fucking because I think my family would be happier if I didn't exist. Because that'd be one less stupid moody bitch that can't do anything and hides in their room all day that they have to deal with

Im lazy I get apathetic I have no motivation to do anything and I don't cry at sad movies like a broken robot and everything about me is wrong

And my father wanted a daughter so fucking badly, but I'm not a girl I'm nothing and he'd be so mad if I ever told him

And BTW I'm literally awful like I've run out of things I'm a jealous whore

M a whore because all tye time I think of stupid sexual stuff and then I feel disgusted I'm disgusting I barely take showers

I'm pathetic btw I never finish anything I start I have so many half assed AUs and drafts and fanfics and art and chores and needs and shit

and I sit in my room all day and play on my phone like a fucking loser. Im also really stupid btw, I don't know half the shit I'm supposed too and I can't spell shit or know history AND I HAVE THE ABILITY TO LEARN BUT IM SUCH A STUPID FUCKING BITCH I NEVER DO ANYTHING

I'm also a hypocrite because I get so snappy and shit with my siblings when they do nothing wrong except be annoying or something but when I feel justified I shouldn't because I'm still a shitty person

I barely reach out to my friends unless they text first, I'm a horrible friend that never listens I'm sorry I'm sorry I never meant to abandon anyone

And I can't take blame or accountability I'm sorry I am shit why do I keep trying to hide behind myself??

Its past 6 am,people are statving and in here venting like a bitch

I never shut up

I Bother people

i sleep in and I'm moody and I demand attention like a whore whose demanding love idfk

I never know anything, I'm rude as hell

Im sorry

and I'm protective over shit nobody cares about, I'm so damn defensive

Im sorry I'm not doing better I'm sorry I'm not improving myself. I'm so mad at myself I have so much anger at myself I direct it at innocent people I'm sorry

I HAVE NO EXCUSES, IM SO FUCKING SELF AWARE OF THIS BUT I KEEP DOING IT KM SO DAMN FHCKONG DUM IM LUTERALLY COUNTING HOW MANY WORDS OF SELF HSTE

Its justified BTW, i deserve hate

I feel like I'm lying abt being a system and artistic and depressed and anxiety like what I'd I just suddenly decided I had them?? I swear I promise I'm not faking I'm not I don't want to lie I want to be good I never meant to hurt anyone BUT I FEEL LIKE IM A FAKING BITCH

I binge food and throw it up, I hide food like a greedy pig just to purge I take others food because I'm so gluttonous and I LIE about it

and I vent and vent and vent and... and I still hate myself

I'm so fucking manipulative because anytime I talk I CSNT STOP IMSGING HOW THE CONVERSATION WILL GO, I CANT STOP TRYONG TO FUCKING GET MY WAY IRL, AHHGHGBTIDDHDH I ALEATS ACT LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING WHEN I DONT and I purposefully annoy my siblings so they leave thr kitchen so I can binge like a fat pig, I'm a hypocrite too in every aspect. I'm toxic ok im awful

I s/h and then i forget about it so its not even a problem but I whine like it is and I want to do it so badly rn I wanna go deep

AND I RUINED MYSELF WITH UGLY SCATS they're so ugly like me inside and out

And I wanna cry and

and I'm so awful because like I get so... idk, I am. I've done shifty things, I'm a shit person. I act sweet than a condescending little bitch

and sometimes the smallest things set me off

Im jealous of everyone else

Hell I'm fucking jealous of people I've never met, I want so much so badly I'm so greedy and lustful for it and selfish

In... conclusion? The world, would, be, better, without, me

I'm useless, lazy, stupid, jealous, slutty, angry, sad, pitiful, pathetic, fat looking, no good child, moody, stereotypical, ugly, hateful, chatter box, greedy, selfish. Gluttonous, messy, dirty. I'm all the bad stuff

Dont lie, these are facts. I have so much awful in me, the world wpuld be better off without me

[sophieinwonderland]

circ is such 4 hypocrite. they cl4im to be pro endo 4nd then keep being friends with bigots (they're besties with J4S 4nd other people who've h4r4ssed you so its not surprising). even more recently they c4me out 4nd reve4led themselves to be one of the mods of the 4nti endo 4nd bigoted sysbox tumblr blog 4nd its so fucking dis4ppointed. i never re4lly liked them bec4use of how much they h4r4ss tulp4s but their recent post on th4t blog is such 4 new low. THEY H4VE SUCH PICK ME ENERGY. they're liter4lly joking 4bout being better 4nd more 'civil' th4n most pro endos 4nd endos (you know the people they SUPPOSEDLY support so much), which re-enforces stereotypes 4bout endo systems. they literally do not give 4 shit 4bout us or our rights 4nd i wish more plur4l collectives fucking stopped supporting them just bec4use they make 're4lly nice and friendly sysmed cdd system' their whole br4nd. they're like those people who 4spire to be 4 model minority. they dont c4re. they h4ve never c4red. they only c4re about their own 4cceptance and getting popul4rity but dont c4re 4bout the rest of the community. im so 4ngry. my littles who used to find their blog comforting 4re fucking he4rtbroken. i knew they were shit but im so 4ngry 4t myself for not being 4ble to protect my system. im so 4ngry on beh4lf of my system and on beh4lf of the whole plur4l community. we deserve better

https://www.tumblr.com/sysboxes/745040882164760576/which-mod-is-circular-bircular-arent-they-pro?source=share

i hope this is ok4y to send. im just re4lly angry and your blog h4s 4lw4ys been 4 s4fe sp4ce for us. th4nk you for everything you do btw. despite the h4te, you 4lw4ys keep posting 4nd fighting for our rights. my system 4dmires you [ ^-^] <3

I'm sorry you feel hurt and betrayed.

It's terrible to put your trust in someone and find out they aren't who you thought they were. But for what it's worth, I don't think you let your system down.

Life is about making mistakes and learning. You can't refuse to trust anyone just because you get burned in the past. Maybe it hurts now, but I don't think any lasting damage was done.

Personally, learning this... I find myself largely indifferent. I'm not at all surprised at this, knowing them. They've modded anti-endo discord servers, so why not an anti-endo sysbox blog?

My own feelings on Circ are complicated. I do not consider Circ safe for endogenic systems given their reblogs and support of anti-endos, and frequent parroting of anti-endo talking points.

At the same time, I actually do think their presence in anti-endo spaces has been a net positive for our goals in those communities. Circ has bragged a few times about making their anti-endo friends more pro-endo. And while I wouldn't say those friends became allies to the pro-endo community, many did switch to more neutral stances which I do think helped reduce hate against endogenic and pro endo systems in those spaces, and that seems like a good thing for me.

So I guess, while I don't care much for Circ as a person due to history there, I can acknowledge that their influence in anti-endo spaces ultimately serves my goals.

Besides, it's really upsetting some anti-endos so that's fun to watch! 😁

And you know, they have a point.

Like, if I was following a pro-endo blog and learned that one of the mods was anti-endo... and an anti-endo who bragged about making pro-endos more anti-leaning, I would be very suspicious of not just that one anti-endo but all the mods on that blog they were friends with.

How can you trust that your anti-endo sysbox mods haven't already been converted to the other side and aren't just lying to you about their syscourse stance???

Now you might think I'm just intentionally trying to spread mistrust and division among anti-endos by saying this... get them to turn on each other and tear themselves apart from the inside. And you'd be absolutely right! But that doesn't mean I'm wrong, and it doesn't mean me stating my motives aloud will make it any less likely to work!

And I would even like to say that I do appreciate the mod team on that blog being able to look past an alleged pro-endo's syscourse stance. Even if it's only for this one kind-of-hypocritical exception since they still refuse to interact with any other pro-endos.

Yes, I SophieInWonderland, endogenic tulpa, support sysboxes for having a pro-endo-identifying mod!

And since antiendovents crossposted in the inclusive plural tag, this is going straight into the anti-endo tags so the entire anti-endo community can see me expressing this support that I'm sure won't create any waves at all. 😈

[embersofhope-if]

ok for the notes ask! what about a note from mc to ash (beyond the grave). bonus points for following up on the ash to mc letter!! god i love ur angst

Ash,

I get it now. I mean, I get what you what you meant by how painful grief is. It's so easy to drown in it. I thought it was something that I would be able to manage; something that I could push through, but I can't. I knew you were strong, but I never realized till now how strong you really were. How did you do it? How did you get through the day without feeling like the entire weight of the world was on your chest? I don't think I've been able to take a full breath since the day of the reaping. I'm trying Ash, I really am, but I can feel myself crumbling. I can't sleep. I can hardly eat. I spend most of my days stuck in a daze. My parents upped my dosage of whatever pills they're giving me now. I have no idea what they're supposed to do, but they're certainly not making me feel any better. I don't think anything will if I'm honest. I've already broken so many promises that I made to you, and I'm sorry. I've never been very good at keeping my word, have I?

I have kept one promise, though. I'm trying my best to do what I can for Osian and your Mom, but you know how your Mom is. She'll only take what is necessary, and even then, it's not much. I want to just fully take care of them, but even if I was allowed to, I think she might take it as more of an insult than anything. You weren't lying when you said she was strong. Out of me, Osian, and your Mom, I think she might be functioning the best. I don't know how. Im sure she has that same ache in her chest that I have, but she still manages to keep going. Maybe it's just a Fairchild thing. You're all so strong. I'm almost jealous.

I miss you. I wish I could be angry at you for not coming home, but I can't bring myself to it. I could never be angry at you of all people. I'm sorry that there are so many things in your life that you never got to see. I wish I could go back in time and trade places. Make sure my name is the one called out instead of yours. You deserved to have the time that I have. You, of all people, should've been allowed to live a full, happy life. I'm sorry you never got to see your forest. It shouldn't have been like this.

I love you,

[[Name]]

[loserelf]

I'm really really sorry I can't think abt doppelgängers too long or I get incredibly horny and wistful. Like that's me. That's myself. Even if you're mimicing me. You *chose* me. You're OBSESSED with me.

So not only would they have my face, they must have known me down to every last detail. They're in love with me. They adore me. My secrets, my scars, my features I've forgotten but they chose to copy. And I can look them in the eye and feel down their... My body. Someone who loves me for myself, all of myself. Enough to create a perfect copy of me.

I'm enamoured with mimicry but alas, I can never have it.

This probably sounds selfish I think but I normally hate myself I just think it would be beautiful to find a creature who wouldn't so perfectly.

I HEAR YOUUUUUUUUUU man its just suchhfhdhchCH a fascinating concept to me like for me im drawn to that dire fuckin eeriness, that absolutely beyond unsettling bone chilling experience of being confronted with your own body and have your own face boring back into you in a way you've never seen outside of a reflection. To be confronted with YOU, standing before you in the flesh, something any of us will only ever imagine based on outside descriptions. Mannerisms, movements, and the HORROR of knowing both exactly what must be going on behind those eyes while simultaniously knowing NOTHING about it bc only you know what you're capable of, and even then, YOU REALLY DONT!!!!! You will NEVER know what you're capable of and its That knowledge that any one of us could become a monster in the right circumstances that makes me go freak mode like GOD. god i could go on forever about it but truly you're also so right on the eroticism part like .

It's something that goes hand in hand with the horror of it, the fear and the intrigue. Which mimics definitely could be argued to have more of because its an active choice they make and it forces that connection one way or the other... for me its the doppelganger aspect that reaply relishes in that, i love the person versus person and simultanious person versus SELF of it. After all who knows your own body better than you right? Who can understand those deep dark twisted cracks lying dormant in your psyche, the ones even your closest friends or partners dont know about? How do you navigate that? the knowing? (and im well aware of how cringe edgelord welcome to my twisted mind it all sounds but also its real ok. you get it) Like it's almost natural for those feelings, those curiosities to come to surface. It's only a matter of time that it's Going to start to translate that way. You can't hide from yourself. There is Nowhere in your mind you can keep things hidden entirely out of view from the person that has the same key to the same box you've got locked away in the deepest part of your soul, a soul you share mannnnnn anyway im Going to shut tf up about it now because I could literally talk about this forever. thank you for indulging me 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

[seiwas]

hi sel!! #3, 23, & 24 for the end of year fanfic asks please!!

noos!! aaah thank you for sending 🥺

send me any number from this fanfic writer ask game!

#3 favorite line/scene you wrote this year

omg a favourite line is impossible bc i sadly forget what i write the moment i hit post 🥲 but i will say!! one of my fave scenes to write was the car scene from this megumi fic 🥺 mostly because it's personal to me!!

And you think, with your music playing over the comfortable silence you’ve built, being in his passenger seat one too many times—this feels nice.  Any other day and you’d hate traffic as much as the next person, but not right now.  Megumi’s eyelashes are long, pretty, stretching on for miles—and you wonder if this drive with him can extend to the length of them, if you can stay in this traffic jam a little longer just to be in this moment with him.  “Sorry, are you cold?” Megumi asks, interrupting your stare.

i always try to include 1-2 lines that feel ~satisfying bc i think my sentence constructions are really simple!! so to add some kind of dynamic to it i guess!!

#23 fics you wanted to write but didn’t

omg my wip list grows by the day noos 🥺 i wanted to write my ex!bakugo fic this year but am so intimidated by him that i struggle to start even tho i have everything in place alr 😭

there's also an escort!reader x nanami idea that i have but will probably never write 🥹 it's a skill gap on my end i think sfbsdhfsj idt i'm a good enough writer to give justice to that kind of concept!!

also wanted to write more for my iwa series this yr but figured i'd wait till next year when the hq hype comes back!!! (am gonna re-edit everything!! might reformat it too)

#24 favorite fic some unforgettable fics you read this year

noos... you opened a dam with this question... how can i possibly just choose one... are you kidding me... i can't choose one... so i'm putting everything under the cut... gonna give myself 5 per fandom 😭 (you can tell im very partial to friends to lovers 😭😭😭)

also!! there are a lot of fics in my tbr that i haven't gotten to yet!! and everything i reblog is pretty much a fic i recommend 🥹

hq!!

over the course of 24 hours by prettyiwa (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [10k. friends to lovers.] my favourite iwaizumi fic ever 🥹 i reread it once a year hence why it's here

an observer of longing by shibaraki (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [18k. friends to lovers.] took me like 4 hours to read this bc i wanted to savour it. and was lying down in bed, staring up at the ceiling crying when i was done 🥺

miya atsumu and the chronic lovesick disease by fushisagi (miya atsumu x reader) [12k. friends to lovers.] the thematic consistency in this is so good & i still think abt this to this day!!

long shots by ahtsumu (miya osamu x reader) [5k. TA!atsumu.] solidified me reading for osamu—he's soooo attractive here.

seasons by mintmatcha (hanamaki takahiro x reader) [6k. friends to lovers.] fully roped me in being a makki fucker 😭

jjk

half agony, half hope by seravphs (gojo satoru x reader) [ongoing series. knight!gojo.] superb. that's really all i can say about this. the want and tension is gripping.

wormwood by linkcities (gojo satoru x reader) [25k. friends to lovers.] heartwrenching and achey. so so good. 🥲

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now by twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat (gojo satoru gen fic) [5k. canon divergence.] such an interesting look into something i don't normally see written on gojo. written beautifully too!

(though we may) fall apart by stellamancer (gojo satoru x reader) [4k. canon compliant ish.] amazing buildup & the tension is insane too. 🤧

keeping up with the fushigojos by augustinewrites (gojo satoru x reader)

[ongoing series. found family.] sooo cute and feel-good. their lil family lives in my mind rent free!! 🥹

bnha

i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife by kirketeer (bakugo katsuki x reader) [59k. enemies to friends to lovers.] i reread this once a year oh my god it's one of my fave fics ever.

you had only to look at me by willowser (bakugo katsuki x reader) [7k. friends to lovers.] reread this recently and was tearing up by the end omg.

all the times i told you by gardenofnoah (bakugo katsuki x reader) [8k. established relationship.] the most teeeendeeer bakugo i've ever seen and i tear up every time i read this.

love to love you by shibaraki (midoriya izuku x reader) [2k. established relationship.] another one that's super soft. such a raw tenderness to this 🥺

nitroglycerine by alrightberries (bakugo katsuki x reader) [1k. fwb to idiots to lovers.] the dialogue here is amazing and there's so much in the unsaid i am gnawing my fist.

[hyugaruma]

WOOHOO MATCHUPS!! ok uhh for my personality i would say i'm an extroverted introvert, if that makes any sense? i don't mind hanging out around people, i enjoy hanging out around people i like, but sometimes my social meter can go down reaaaal fast. i don't like socialising that much, but if i need to or want to i can converse pretty well (i guess). im quite blunt, im not afraid to say what i think needs to be said, as i feel that hiding things only leads to more problems. i know when things don't need to be said and when to keep my mouth shut tho. i usually balance out the people i'm hanging out with: if they're all quiet introverts im the talkative social one, if they're all loud and chaotic im the quiet one with common sense. idk why i do it its just easier to balance things out, it comes naturally to me. I'm also usually the protective one of the group, if someone looks at my friends funny i'll be the first one to glare back, or shield my friends from them. heck i'll even pick a fight if i need to, come at me bro. when it comes to standing up for others, all my shyness and social awkwardness goes out of the window lmao. i can also be a bit too sensitive at times, my emotions are quite strong, leading me to cry even though i definitely do not feel the need to 💀. it's humiliating honestly but i just ignore it and act like there's no tears at all. other than that i can usually push my emotions to the side and think logically, the best i can in that situation anyways

for my interests and hobbies, i like gaming and consuming fictional media, mostly manga and anime, although i don't mind other genres as well. my current hyperfixations are high&low (duh) and tokyo revengers, so u can kinda see a theme going on huh... i'm also a huge music enjoyer, i can listen to anything (except for love ballads. idk why i just can't rlly stand listening to them), but my fav genres are pop, kpop, and jpop. I'm also an actor! I'm aiming to get into the entertainment industry in the future, although my parents want me to take a more "solid" degree first just so i'm able to support myself financially (they're not wrong honestly). i think i'm pretty good at acting teehee (i'm rlly good at lying too :P).

there are many things i dislike, so many that i can't even think of any, but i guess the most important ones are discrimination like homophobia/transphobia, sexism, racism, etc. ik it seems like a no brainer, but i absolutely cannot accept a partner who does any of these. it's not that hard to be a decent human being. ive already mentioned most of the things i like up there, but others include cats, plushies, kuromi, food (i LOVE food. small stomach tho), and many more that i again cannot think of.

i hope this is enough info, lowkey feel like ive overshared so apologies for that, i've never done a matchup before 😅 thank you so much!

p.s. i love ur writing, i'm glad there's still writers like you who keep the community alive <3 thank u for all ur hard work! and sorry again for writing so much T-T

tysm for requesting, and also for the kind words :-)) and don’t apologize, more is always better for me to work with!!

I match you with… Miyauchi “Binzo” Kouzou!

Binzo prefers people who are honest and upfront about their feelings and thoughts, and doesn’t really believe in sugarcoating things, so he would like that in a partner as well. Also, if you ever picked a fight with some asshole in front of Binzo, he’d fall in love with you all over again, like holy crap he would be all heart-eyes emoji over it. Maybe unpopular opinion here, but I see Binzo as being an introverted extrovert type, so I can see the two of you balancing each other out well. Binzo is all for good action plots so he’ll definitely be down to binge some Tokyo Rev with you. Also, this dude eats like a horse (do horses eat a lot? idk), so if you like food he’ll probably take you out to eat, like, all the time.

Alternate Matches: Odajima Yuken, Tettsu

[fairycosmos]

i wanna come out to my parents to bad but every time im close i chicken out and start shaking really heavily because its so nerve wrecking :/ i know they’d have a problem with it and its so fucked because ever since i lost my sister i feel like i HAVE to make them proud, i mean they’ve already lost one kid, you know? i cant make them feel like they’ve lost another one. this is super forward so if you don’t want to answer please don’t, but is that something you struggle with? like, not wanting to let them down now that they’ve experienced the worst thing that can happen to a parent? anyway, sorry to bother you. i didn’t know who else might understand. hope your night is going better than mine lol!!!

god it's almost bizarre how i could've written this word for word im so serious 😭 like. you might be me for real we should uhhh check or something we might be living parallel lives. i totally understand everything you're feeling, from the coming out dilemma to the grief and everything in between. however, lately ive been viewing the idea of "coming out" through a more critical lens, and i think it's a bizarre expectation to put onto yourself and others, outdated almost - ESP if it is going to put you in emotional or physical danger. you don't owe your parents an explanation for like, being who you are. no one is entitled to access to your personal thoughts, feelings and relationships like that. you're not lying, that's a completely toxic idea. i know it's more complex than that, and i know it's constricting, like you're suffocating some days even. there is a lot of nuance, and it's absolutely not fair that you can't be open about it without fear. but if you're not ready to tell them, you're not ready to tell them. this is your life. that's a perfectly understandable reaction when they've made you feel unsafe regarding the topic in some way. and im exactly the same, w the loss of my sister it's like - everything is on me. i feel like i can't breathe and any move i make is wrong, i feel like the older i get and the more they realise i really am not gonna follow the traditional path, the more they resent me. if not outwardly, then inwardly. im not gonna have kids or marriage or a fancy career, i am not a viable vessel for their projections. it's true, they've already been through a fucking nightmare and so often i dream about giving them a picture perfect life from here on out, despite how i personally feel about anything, ive come close to it many times. i still might end up doing that, because im so loat and hurt. but i just fucking know deep down it's not sustainable. it's a fantasy, and i know my sister would hate to think im killing myself like that just to keep up pretenses. that being said, it's all so much easier said than done. im not saying you have to come out and cut everyone off and live your life completely authentically without fear or pain. im just saying like......despite the fucking endless mourning and the trauma our parents have been through........i don't think the solution to that is living our lives purely on their conditions either. we're not our siblings, and we never will be. we'll never fill that void, no matter what we do. im so sorry you're going through this, and thank you so much for the well wishes ❤️ i feel really seen by your message and i want you to know you can say hi whenever you need a friend. sending you so much love and healing, i know it's unbearable. X

[nithhaiahh]

Modern Au

Cannon Event

[Warning: This is a major event that happens for Nith inside the Modern Alternative Universe. The only person who has access to it is whoever makes it to be her love interest. This event happens after some dates, kisses and the character's confession, which Nith isn't able to answer back then.

She realizes she has feelings for your character and decides to stop hiding in the back for once in her life. This, is the result of it. Contains very strong themes, check hashtags. ]

It is very late, past midnight, the phone starts ringing.

A. Pick up the phone.

B. Ignore it until you get tired of listening to it.

You decide to grab it, the name that appears in the contact list is Nith's phone. You are surprised, it is the first time since you met that she calls you. Usually all your communications if not in person are by text messages but she had never called you. Never.

*Call Starts*

"H-Hello? H-hi I'm sorry, it's very late and you must be tired but I needed to talk to you."

You can hear a strange echo in the call, like static, it's easily product of her phone. You remember she had a very old cellphone, one of those that had a pixel screen and 2 colors.

"I hope you are fine or resting- I mean! I know I woke you up but what I'm trying to say is-"

You start to differentiate something between the static. An almost imperceptible background voice while hers sounded tired, broken, breathless.

"P-please I don't have much time, just listen."

A. Follow her request and listen.

B. Ask her what's going on.

With each second that noise became more perceptible, remember that it is an old phone, you can only imagine that if that is what you hear on the call, how loud it must be in person what she would be hearing...

"I know I have not been the best person to you. That it's hard to deal with someone like me who has almost no free time and lives tied up in a poor neighborhood. B-but I can't go on like this. I can't keep quiet anymore. This isn't living... and you taught me what is."

A. Ask her about the noise.

B. Keep listening.

It seemed that any question or sound made her more nervous, her words became even more clipped. The background sounds began to be banging, glass breaking, shouting, insults.

"I'M SORRY FOR LYING. Forgive me- Please, Im sorry for hiding so many things from you! For the countless times I didn't let you hug me. Forgive me, I wanted to but I couldn't! It hurt. You noticed it but I denied it. It's not that I didn't want to do anything about it, it's just that I couldn't. I can't. I'm- I'm lock. I'm afraid, I'm too afraid of him."

A. Confort her.

B. Ask for her direction.

The screams and curses were so loud that they dulled her voice a bit. At that moment, a wooden surface was heard to break. The voice of a man blinded by rage shouted her name. She was in panic.

"I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. My room- I'm in my room. I'm scared! I can't jump is too high. I wanted to talk to you one last time. I wanted to be honest- AAAHHH!!!"

A gun was shot. Nith screamed at the same time as glass burst. It looked like she had been standing at the side of a window. She cries.

A. Ask if she is okay.

B. Run.

"I worked overtime not for me, it was to be away from home as much as possible. No, I didn't use the money for my studies, almost all of it was to cover this monster's addiction so he wouldn't beat me up. Yes, they were bruises. There were a lot of them and they hurt a lot, that's why I always covered my whole body. I never liked to be cold or act so crude, it was to protect myself. It was to protect you. You don't deserve this, you don't deserve to be burdened with this responsibility. But I'm afraid, I'm afraid that all of this will end and that I can't tell you..."

Noises can be heard, wood being hit and pulled out. You can clearly hear the man shouting that he was going to kill her.

"T-thank you. Thank you for smiling at me that day. Thank you for inviting me lunch, I hadn't eaten well in weeks. Thank you for caring about me, for making me laugh. For seeing through my mask, for giving me time and space. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for the messages, for the outings, for the dates. Thank you for asking me to be your girlfriend. I should have hugged you more, I should have kissed you more."

More shots were heard. Nith stopped talking and just screamed in panic until one of the sounds made her scream louder than before. There was a thump, as if the phone had fallen. There was an argument and shouting between them. He screaming that he would kill her, she screaming for him to stop.

Within seconds she took the call again.

"I-is fine... Listen... I don't think you make it in time and... I'm sorry for giving you this one nightmare. You told me I should fight... I told father I had found someone I cared for... He didn't say anything, he left, I thought it was going to be fine but he came back drunk and with..."

The lock on her door was getting hit.

"I called the cops. I don't know if they will come. Last time they didn't... I just..."

She calls you by your name.

"I love you... I love everything about you. I love your eyes... your hair... your voice... I love you from the bottom of my heart. Thank y-"

The door hit the floor and the next thing you can hear is a muffled scream from Nith before being overshadowed by a large bang on the wall. Again... and again... and again. The phone is picked up and then abruptly the call gets cut off.

*Call ends*

If you didn't cut her much and started running, you have more chances of making it in time. As long as you make it to her location in 15 minutes or less, you might be able to get into the scene before the worst happens. You could get in between her father and her... whatever you do after that is your choice.

But all depends on how far you were from her apartment and whether you had a vehicle or not...

The scene was grotesque, there was blood everywhere. The police arrived but were unprepared for the magnitude of what had happened. They immediately called an ambulance. Miraculously enough, even with a gunshot wound and severe cuts, Nith had managed to hold against her father for 15 minutes before they [or you] arrived.

The ambulance arrived before she lost consciousness. They said there was not much chance of her survival, yet she gently touched her gloves, calmly, and asked them to let her die.

"I... don't... have... money..."

After that her heart stopped. If you convince them somehow to help her, on the way to the hospital, they are able to revive her.

If you ask for the police report you will learn that Nith had tried to denounce her father multiple times in the past, but the police in the area are friends of his. They drink together. It never proceeded. They would tell him everytime he did, and every time he would hit her worst. Right at that moment they were trying to minimize the magnitude of what happened, again. The gun belonged to one of them. That's why this time they did show up...

If you ask the neighbors, you will finally get some of her back ground. Her mother left with her older brother long ago when she was only 5. Since then her father tried to take care of her in hopes of getting her mother back by showing how good Rose was doing. That's right, her real name was Rose, not Nith. When her father learned that his ex wife had left him for someone else, he went mad. Since then, Rose was in charge of doing everything in the house while her father sat on the couch drinking. If she failed, she would get hit or drown on a bucket of water with ice. Somewhere in between those years, he got the sick idea that she was his property and the replacement of his wife. After all, she resembled her and her beauty. Thats why she was forced to dress as a man, so no one would look at her. They never spoke because they were scared of that man and his connections.

[graces5169]

300 prompts, categories and character descriptions.

Leave however many prompts you want with the genre of writing and any necessary character descriptions and any extra detail needed. :) (make sure you also leave

character x reader so I know who I'm writing about)

¡Prompts! (From Pinterest)

1. Why did you leave me

2. Am I that useless to you

3. I hate you

4. I love you

5. Can you hug me

6. Do I mean anything to you

7. Please stop your hurting me

8. Don't look at me

9. You disappoint me

10. I am (so) proud of you

11. Can I sleep beside/with you tonight

12. I'm scared

13. Can I hug you

14. Please hold me

15. Your hands are shaking

16. Stay by my side it doesn't have to be forever

17. Promise you'll return alive

18. I've always hated you

19. I've always loved you

20. Your safe now I've got you

21. Your the only one I trust to do this

22. Your too good for me

23. You've got to be kidding me

24. Have you lost your damn mind

25. Please don't leave me

26. Why don't you come over here and make me

27. Are you jealous

28. I almost lost you

29. Wanna bet

30. Looks like we'll be trapped a while

31. Just once

32. Shut up

33. It's not what it looks like

34. Sometimes it's hard to keep pretending

35. And if I don't

36. I can't help but stare

37. Make me

38. Can't you pretend you love me just once

39. Is your ego really that big

40. Come dance with me

41. Just shut up for one minute

Original/ (not off Pinterest)

42. What are you afraid of

43. Just love me damnit

44. I'm broken and unfixable

45. She's mine

46. I suggest you back off

47. Fuck off mate

48. I'm not watching you mope around like a loser

49. I'm trying to break up with you

50. Did you ever care

51. I was a fucking game

52. Im not your toy

53. She's so annoying

54. Your nothing but a stupid mudblood

55. You tried to kill me

56. I could've killed her

57. Im a monster

58. I hate myself to

59. How'd you do that

60. She never smiles anymore

61. She only smiles when he's around

62. I'd rather date Sirius

63. This time your 'prank' went to far

64. Just my parents

65. You don't deserve this

66. They don't deserve you

67. You have a beautiful voice

68. She's stunning

69. I have to go I'm sorry

70. I can't do this

71. Are we just friends

72. You could never hurt me

73. Your a wolf

74. Are you serious

75. I'd never date you

76. I don't believe you darling

77. You're cheating on me

78. It's over

79. Im pretty sure I'm drunk but you're really hot

80. We can't do this

81. Im sorry

82. It's better this way

83. "Fuck you!" "When?"

84. Im going

85. Im stopping at nothing to get her back

86. Because I'm in love with you god damnit

87. It's too late for me

88. I fancy you

89. Would you fancy a date day at hogsmade this Saturday

(From Pinterest)

90. Im tired of being your secret

91. Who did this to you

92. You are not fine

93. I thought you hated me

94. Im not leaving you

95. I don't owe you an explanation

96. I thought pushing her away was for the better

97. Nobody wants me

98. I want an answer goddamnit

99. No one's ever done that to me before

100. This feels nice

101. I haven't been hugged in years

102. Im pathetic

103. Im not happy here

104. I want my best friend back

105. Go away

106. If he can't see how amazing you are that's his loss

107. What are you smiling about

108. What's in it for me

109. Do you ever stop talking

110. Isn't this what you wanted

111. She's better off

112. Can I hold your hand

113. You can't do that shit

114. You can borrow mine

115. I'll wait

116. He hit me

117. Your one of them

118. I like your scars

119. Don't fall asleep on me

120. Can I date your brother

121. Your a deatheater

122. Don't make me say something I'll regret

123. Can I braid your hair

124. Your really pretty

125. Let me help you

126. You stubborn arse

127. Your in love with her

128. Stay I need you more than you know

129. Your killing me here

130. Tell me I'm wrong

131. I'd be lying to you

132. Lie to me

133. Prove it

134. I'll never get another chance to say this

135. I never stood a chance did I

136. Tell me again

137. This is why we can't have nice things

138. Do you regret it

139. I'm not going anywhere

140. Another nightmare

141. You've thought about it haven't you

142. We need to talk about last night

143. We were drunk we can just put it behind us

144. You were my biggest mistake

145. Are you drunk

146. What happens if I do this

147. I can't have you

148. Just for tonight

149. Be mine for just one night

150. She was crying because of you

151. We're not just friends and you fucking know it

152. You could die and I couldn't care less

153. I never cared

154. Please don't cry I can't stand to see you cry

155. Walk out that door and were through

156. Yell, scream, shout, say something

157. I can't breathe

158. I hate how much I love you

159. Where do you think your going

160. I'm not letting you walk at night alone three miles back

161. I need time and space

162. Run away like you always do you fucking coward

163. You can keep pretending it didn't happen all you want but guess what it fucking did

164. Can't we just be friends again

165. Stop acting like your okay cause I know your not

166. Just talk to me

167. Bite me

168. If you insist

169. I think I'm in love with you and that scares the shit out of me

170. I think your just afraid to be happy

171. I'm afraid I'll hurt her

172. Why are you so nice to me

173. Choose me

174. Shut up and kiss me

175. Your blushing

176. Is that my shirt

177. This is awkward

178. Please come home I miss you

179. It won't happen again

180. I don't see a future with you

181. Why are you helping a monster

182. Stay the fuck back

183. Please pull the trigger

184. Leave! I don't fucking care

185. I can't save us

186. So save yourself

187. Why didn't you tell me how bad it got

188. I never said I wanted a relationship with you so why are you crying

189. I deserve more than this

190. I'm not anyones favorite person

191. I just want to be wanted I'm tired of being needed for everything

192. I know! But you didn't have to use her like that

193. We can start over, please I'll do anything

194. Everything can be perfect so please don't leave

195. I guess we just weren't meant to be

196. You're always leaving me

197. Stop lying

198. If you die I'll go out of my fucking head

199. Your cute when your mad

200. And Your adopted

201. You gave us quite a scare

202. We can work it out

203. You're overreacting

204. You're all I have left

205. I don't care what they think

206. It's me

207. You make me feel safe

208. You guys read my diary what are you five

209. I don't recognize you anymore

210. You make me sick

211. Sorry can't fix what you've done

212. Do you really have feelings for me

213. Don't look at me like that

214. Give me a break

215. It's not a party without alcohol

216. Truth or dare

217. It's six in the morning your not having anymore firewhiskey

218. Your drive me fucking crazy

219. I'm dangerous please stay back

220. Did you hit your head as a kid

221. She's not yours anymore

222. She's deaf dumbass

223. I'm sorry for my brother he's an asshole

224. Oi, fuck off please

225. "I could kiss you right now." "Do it then"

226. What are you doing to me

227. Just admit I'm right

228. He's hot

229. Your my brother I'll always care for you

230. I'm personally offended I didn't get picked to be your fake date

231. They don't love me they're not that stupid

232. We'll what can I say I'm badass

233. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care

234. Excuse me I have to go make a scene

235. I'm gonna need therapy after this

236. Do your parents realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right

237. I'm going on a date

238. Will you be my girlfriend

239. Would you rather kiss me or Lilly

240. Your bloody obsessed

241. She looks so perfect

242. You look beautiful

243. I wanna become an animagus

244. Stop coming back

245. Do you love him

246. I can't love you

247. You made me better

248. You ate my leftovers

249. Just get it over with

250. Were best when we're together don't you think

251. Can I kiss you

252. If I kiss you It's gonna change everything

253. Fuck it

254. I'm pretty sure I just made a fool of myself

255. Can you stop ignoring me

256. I'm friends with a bunch of two year olds

257. Hug me

258. Oh deer

(Amortentia)

259. Chocolate, old books and rain

260. Cologne, wet dog and leather

261. Cologne, broom polish and fresh cut grass

(Pinterest)

262. Are you hitting on me

263. This was fun, we should do it again

264. You owe me

265. I swear I'm gonna slit his fucking throat

266. Did you just kiss me

267. Huh ironic isn't it I'm a lone wolf

268. You hooked up

269. You kissed her

270. Teach me

271. What are we

272. What if I do

273. I want you to be happy

274. I think your beautiful

275. Why do you have scars

276. Shut up before you wake them

277. This is why we don't listen to you

278. What do you mean maybe

279. Hey whose side are you on

280. It's okay you didn't know

281. At least my parents are still alive

282. That wasn't love it was a perfect illusion

283. She makes my heart beat at a million miles per second

284. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight

285. Come stay with me

286. Don't call me love

287. I always keep my promises

288. Revenge is my best work

289. Why are you up

290. He's amazing

291. She's not going with you

292. I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you

293. Why are you scared

294. Why aren't you scared of me

295. If your a monster for what you've done than I'm the fucking devil

296. You fucking traitor

297. I'll always love you

298. I will never leave you no matter what happens between us I'll always be there

299. Please stop

300. I fucking love you thats why

Genre/ type of story

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Fluff

Angst with a happy ending

Angst with a sad ending

Fluff to angst

Angst to fluff

+ more

No smut

Character x reader

Sirius black and reader

James potter and reader

Remus lupin and reader

Lilly Evans and reader

Regulus black and reader

Marlene McKinnon and reader

Characters house

Slytherin

Gryffindor

Ravenclaw

Hufflepuff

Any added features

Name?

Hair color

Eye color

Attitude/personality

Relationship status with parents and other characters

Any important details.

[ifeltfree]

Yeah, of course I'll talk with you about it. I'm sorry to hear you're recently diagnosed. I'd say it gets better, but I'd be lying. What does change is that you get tougher, more resilient. If you're lucky, you have people around you who understand and support you well. The seizures never stop being terrifying.

It's an awful disease and one that is extremely misunderstood. Isolating is the right word, for sure. I was diagnosed at 16, so I know how hard it can be to have it as a teenager/young person as well. It feels like it's stealing from you. It is. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Your feelings are justified.

As far as how I cope? Poorly, for a long time, but recently things have been looking up. I was seizure-free for about five years before a recent set of breakthrough seizures (I crashed my car too, lol what a time), so I'm relearning how to deal with the fear and paranoia.

Logistically, I've done a few things:

I was able to get my job to let me work from home 3/5 days of the week.

I sleep. A lot. I still hang out with people and I have a lot of friends, but I had to accept there are things I can't do.

I spend a lot of time in quiet. Overstimulation doesn't help. I found this out the long way - took me forever to realize shutting up one or a few of my senses cut down the brain activity (I'm dumb).

I don't drink. I used to drink - probably too much. Substance abuse and epilepsy don't mix. That wasn't the reason for my breakthroughs, but I do have a little sobriety app. Kinda fun, honestly.

I talk to my friends about it.

That last point is something that I'd never done before this year. It's hard, of course, but I think it's helped that my friends now know I'm having crises of sanity, faith, philosophy - whatever - every day of my goddamn life. It's impossible to live with this disease and not think about what's real, what's not, if I'm losing time, what exactly is a soul...you understand.

Also, seizures are impossible to describe, but I try. That helps as well. Horrifies my friends, but they've said it's ok to talk about.

Every seizure I've had (barring these last ones, or I'd have killed myself) has stolen my personhood from me. I'd wake up as a different person, and then I'd just...live in a stranger's apartment, wear a stranger's clothes, wake up in a stranger's bed. After about a week, the feeling starts to fade but nothing ever goes back to that first reality. That disorientation is, for me, one of the worst parts of epilepsy. It's fucking scary. And if you go through that, I am so, so sorry.

If you want to talk about this more, let me know. I'm much less serious than I seem, and I write like this because I'm overeducated after being scared shitless by my brain. So.

Anyway, feel free to publish this and I hope you feel better soon.

Also, tell your tattoo artist what happened - they'll thank you for not coming in, and they also need to know you're not a flake. Don't want to make them responsible for an unconscious body when they don't have to be! :)

thank you for talking to me more about this. you worded a lot of this really well and its reassuring to know its normal to feel that way that i do about it all. my family thinks im exaggerating it so sometimes i question if im blowing things out of proportion.

anyway, thats terrible that you crashed your car. thats such a huge fear of mine and i cant imagine going through that, im so sorry. its so unfortunate that you have to miss out on things, but im glad you figured out what works for you to keep you in better shape. im gonna try and be mindful about the things you mentioned and see if they make a difference for me, thank you

i dont have much of a support system, most of my friends stopped talking to me after college and i find it hard to meet new people where i live. its significantly harder to cope with shit like this when youre on your own. im sure you get it. and i totally understand what you mean by losing your sense of self. it feels like everything is foggy, all the time but even worse on days i have seizures. it almost makes me mad cause its not fair that after everything else that comes with it, i have to have a diluted watered down personality too.

again thank you for this. ill definitely reach out if the urge arises and you definitely can too. im always open to talk, about anything

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hi star anon and aeron <3

(i keep saying star anon bc it's WEIRD to say just star bc then I'm like I'm talking about myself? no I'm not.)

star anon honey, im so sorry you are going through that. in hs one of my best friends (he is gay) knew i was bi but for a while he was like idk are you sure ur not a lesbian and we got in a big fight because of it - bc i was at the point of my life where I wasn't ready to understand that about myself. i think you should set some boundaries or state explicitly that it makes you uncomfortable to be teased about your sexuality and the lesbian jokes need to stop - because its getting to the point where you are getting greatly upset. I think any decent friend would understand that!! I really feel you because a lot of my friends joke and tease me and I'm very sensitive so sometimes I cry or get upset but I've been trying to set boundaries or I change the topic

its totally okay you referred me as a women you didn't know <3 i am afab too. I don't feel she/her pronouns feel right - it feels like my blood is burning up and he/him feels like im being plunged into icy water. and I wish that I'm just a little gender neutral creature. but i don't really rebuke my sex because the world will always see me as afab and that is something I know i can't change. i prefer gender neutral terms but I don't mind stuff like girlfriend or pretty. bc boyfriend doesn't feel right on me. and sometimes I prefer masculine terms like handsome or king. so it just all depends for me ! so nonbinary is the easiest thing for me to say 😭

also it's not really tmi!! I feel talking about these things are okay and should be ❤️ it sounds like you have a lot lying in your heart so I hope you feel like this is a safe space to express yourself 🥺 it sounds like you are worrying a lot about how your family and society would view you. I'd often think that I haven't met the right guy and would never get feelings for them but for women I would so idk food for thought. and thank you I didn't know the document was hated . I just used it more of a point of reference and understanding!

also aeron i hope things are okay being in the south :( I've grown up in places where it's heavily liberal so i don't know what it's like to live there but i am sending you one person that's your type in ur direction

not the yap being so damn long dvsjdgshd I hope that was a little bit helpful i want to just give you a warm drink star anon and a big hug for you aeron (also im a nerd too so I feel ya..)

🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 just had the urge to press this a trillion times

I don't really have much to add except I agree with the advice you gave star anon, I can't do confrontation at all because I always end up crying so one time when my best friend (irl) said something that hurt my feelings I wrote him a note and gave it to him and he wrote back saying that he understood 💞 star anon you deserve to have friends that are understanding like that and respect your boundaries

I have a lot of insecurity over being trans because of society, my body issues, and growing up in a religious environment that wasn't accepting of it so I feel you star anon 🫶

I completely understand you on the gender thing, I thought I might've been genderfluid for the longest time but I think I'm just transmasc and nonbinary with extra steps haha

You're so sweet (purple) sparkle anon tysm 🤧 I'll be on the lookout for the person you sent my way 💕