#im so tired of people who say that nothing changes anyway so why bother

[onlyjaeyun]

one thing i have decided is that i should just..stop explaining myself and my choices at any given time bc at the end of the day this is MY blog and MY smau and MY characters and I get to decide what to do and how to do it and there's no point in trying so hard to adjust everything to everyone's liking bc there will ALWAYS be someone who's mad and triggered and annoyed and bothered and critical no matter what i do and hinestly atp im just..tired 😭

im one of the worst people pleaser ever but i have noticed that as soon as i start shifting my focus on the things people tell me to do differently (regardless of if i asked or not) i lose motivation bc i feel dictated and controlled.

what i'm trying to say is: if you feel triggered, mad or bothered by my smaus and choices, i unfortunately don't really know what to do other than try my best to be considerate but at the end of the day, your triggers are not my responsibility.

sending so much love to everyone and i know this will make me receive a lot of criticism but i'm willing to deal with it bc after 5 years in the tumblr writing community i have realised that i gotta stop pleaskng everyone and focus on myself and what i want bc this is MY art.

additionally to this: i started off quite strong with the depictions of my reader insert from hype boy through poison and SB all the way to CH did i go with the same concept of a reader insert, so im probably not gonna change it anytime soon bc it's what i feel the most comfortable with. and i know people dont get the whole why reader insert if you're gonna give them a face claim anyway but to me it's mostly bc i HATE writing in third/first person and i simply dont wanna create ocs. on top of that it's nothing new and has been done for quite a while. there are plenty of smau writers who take the reader insert literally and if that's what you're looking for, you should go and read that. no harsh feelings, nothing but love. i just wanna be sure i write for myself and myself only from now on 🩷

edit: a huge thank you to everyone who sent me an ask regarding the whole reader insert x trigger situation, i genuinely appreciate everyone's input on this topic and i hope you understand my decision of not responding to asks bc i have already come to a conclusion (mostly withy our help too) so thank you so much. i love you 💗

[alicentsgf]

ok so fans who hate alicent LOVE to say shit like "book alicent was beefing with a child lol" totally unironically. and it just confuses me. like Bro... all f&b tells us is she Stopped Being Nice to rhaenyra after aegon was born (when viserys showed no sign of naming him heir). because, reportedly, she was originally kind to rhaenyra. apparently kind enough for at least one or two people to note a sudden change in demeanor.

and like im sorry. is it that crazy that when alicent began to understand rhaenyra and her own son were going to be pitted against each other in the future she chose aegon and distanced herself from rhaenyra? she wasnt "beefing with a child" like i feel thats so clearly just a little joke someone made thats been taken at face value and regurgitated. because its not true. or at least f&b gives us no indication of it - we're never told about her acting maliciously toward a young rhaenyra. in fact i dont think we're given much indication they really interacted at all. and anyway, wouldnt it have been worse for her to continue to keep rhaenyra close ? so she could try and manipulate her?? people make book alicent into this great seductress and manipulator and theres basically no textual evidence to support it. if anything i feel like alicent distancing herself shows she very possibly DID genuinely care about rhaenyra once, perhaps enough to worry her attachment might undermine her cause to prioritise aegon in some way. and this is only further supported by rhaenyra's decision to spare alicents life later when the rest of the greens became dragon snacks.

then theres the fact book alicent was the one who asked viserys to betroth aegon to rhaenyra. why would she do that? a woman from a house with such close ties to the faith no less. she asked when aegon was 6 and she must have known by that point viserys was likely never going to name aegon heir - imo she was exhausting options to try and protect her children. no matter what choices aegon made he had every chance of becoming a symbol others would use, forcing rhaenyra to make an example of him to maintain control. marrying them to each other would do a lot to avoid that eventuality. it was both a smart political match and what Targaryen tradition demanded. viserys was convinced alicent was only acting out of ambition which is why he rebuffed her, but we're repeatedly shown viserys is kind of an idiot. especially politically.

theres this Obsession with the idea alicents characterisation was changed so dramatically for the show. 'i wish they'd made her like book alicent' they did...? they made her a victim who is scared and anxious and bitter. theres nothing to suggest that wasnt who book alicent was. everything we know of her is filtered through layers of bias - her story told by men who dont give a shit what she felt or desired. and what? you dont like it because you wanted her to be some one dimensional villian? because doubling down of f&bs oft misogynistic, cardboard cutout representation of her would have been So great. like please, i get that so much of f&b can be interpreted a whole bunch of ways but 'alicent the evil step mother' is the most basic, boring interpretation. it shows no depth of thought at all. theres at least a few clues in there as to who she Actually might have been, if you bother to look.

its just insane to me honestly. you read that book and thought she was pure evil? this woman who doted on her daughter and grandchildren so completely that her grandson's murderers knew to find them in her rooms. this woman who spent her last moments embracing death, pining for her dead children and speaking fondly of the old man she used read to as a girl. its really not that hard to percieve book alicent as a trapped and embittered woman desperately scared for the lives of her children. seriously. where is the critical thought? the empathy?? im so tired.

[chuuwtoy]

i remember discussing with my friend if rebecca was really the blushing virgin that everyone in the fandom makes her out to be. at the time i just shrugged it off and said yes, because i didn't know much about her character (not that there is much anyway.) but after thinking about it, my opinion's changed a bit. so here's my random opinions about rebecca.

incoming airstrike: incoherent rambling.

initially i felt like rebecca was only really put into the first game to be jill's opposite, and also i guess to make it even and put a girl on the other team.

i haven't played RE 0 (and with the complaints i probably won't..) but she isn't exactly squealing and blushing whenever billy looks her way - if anything, billy is more of a flirt. maybe him giving her all these cute nicknames is just in his nature? or perhaps he just really likes her. who knows!

you could argue that everyone on her team died and she's going through this hellish nightmare on her first mission - so why on earth would she have goo-goo eyes over some inmate who supposedly slaughtered 23 people?! haha, i love analyzing these guys.

rebecca isn't afraid to put anyone in their place, she demands respect, "but that's officer chambers to you", "and dont call me little girl!" one thing i love about these lines is how it's delivered, she isn't stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum. she keeps her soft tone and says it sharply! i wish people saw her as spunkier and dominant, rather than an innocent, helpless baby.

suprisingly, she doesn't fall for chris either. i mean can you blame me for expecting her to? he's protecting her throughout the game and vice versa. she's tired and scared but atleast she has chris to lean onto. that's the perfect set up for a predictable (one-sided) romance. the same arguement could be made - she's tired, and got thrusted into another nightmare, she doesn't have time to be flustered over chris..

something that's a little odd but rebecca has respect for chris in the sense that she refers to him as "sir", when she doesn't even do that for enrico. though, im sure its because she's familiar with enrico, but not chris.

she's oddly professional for her age, but no one in the fandom gives her credit for it— and yes i know it's probably because she's a child prodigy, so perhaps she had to grow up quicker? i assume she was around adults much older than herself. ( ≧ᗜ≦) !!!

i know it's common for people to call her a tomboy because "girl + short hair = tomboy" (sarcasm). though, if i'm being honest, i never saw her as one. rebecca (and jill) are just girls, they can't really be placed into boxes - they're not clichés. you see the duality with rebecca loving basketball but also being a chemist? i LOVE that so much. she's in this male-dominated field with an age that still end in -teen.

rebecca is described as "androgynous" in her uniform and while i agree to some extent i don't really like that word too much, because it implies that jill's uniform isnt androgynous when i think that it is.. so what because jill's chest is prominent she can't be androgynous too? hmph, it always left a bitter taste in my mouth.

also i really love that she's wearing makeup in 0, it's her first mission and she's all dolled up 笑笑笑笑笑 but they stopped using ayumi's model and i guess wanted to rework her face.

this isn't meant to disprove or bash that very popular ship "rebilly" by the way! do i ship it? not quite, sorry but i dont ship anything besides myself and a certain bioterrorist えへへへへへへへへ

the novel, caliban cove, portrays her as your typical teenage girl. she gets embarrassed a lot, blushes at the slightest contact, etc etc. it's not canon though, so i didnt bother to mention it.

i haven't discussed this either but i'd like to see discussions about her sexuality, nothing is confirmed but options are always open (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.

[goremet-chef]

guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

[colorful-white-ideas]

I agree with what you just said about this place, basically Bill's fandom and I use that word loosely, being dead AF. It's, he, is so boring lately. It took me awhile to really mean that bc I wanted to hope his light would come back again. But he doesn't seem to care about his fans or even himself anymore. Have you noticed he wears the same black outfit (black shirt black pants or jeans) all the time now? He only manages a smile when he's not with you know who. And yet he keeps showing up with you know who. If he can't bother to care why should his fans? I just hope his acting hasn't suffered like his life has. I loved watching him in pretty much anything. Dude can act and it comes naturally. That's something other actors would kill for.

I see hes trying to give some content and trying to look good, younger ( thus the rings and earring , and all that dark clothing) BUT is not enough. He is always hiding , the news that get to come out its because fans are looking for them ... his team is most of the time silent. There is no hype around him , not even in this fandom ( not as it may have been 4 years ago x example) and next year is key , he will have at least 3 movies out in different times of the next year.

Sorry for the following rant it's just to get it out of my chest. I won't talk about that anymore from now.

I want to also say something since sometimes I get some ask that I later erase with the typical " you just hate you are not with him".

Im not stupid , I'm not in love of someone I DONT KNOW. Also I have nothing personal against Alida M, I don't know her personally to hate her. But I DO HAVE A PROBLEM with wasted privilege.

The reason why I started to like Bill and - why not- his family is because you can see they all worked to get what they want. They may have had it easier in some ways but they always wanted to go beyond , try something else to make a name on their own. I admire that. They are not the classical nepo rich kids.

A is the very opposite. She wanted to be a public persona and that's fine but only promoted her rich kid personality while traying ( in interviews ) to portray herself as a working woman. I hate fake humility. It's ok if she just wanted to be a socilite ... why lie ? why say you are an actress but don't look for more projects? why dont take classes? and if its not for you then why not USE THE POSITION you have to build something else? There is alot to do for the industry : casting, writing, make up, production, etc. She bragged on her personal social media acc about the wrong things. Contradiction at it's finnest

A contradiction that reflected onto Bill later on , the humble funny likable guy aware of his upbringing disaspeared before our eyes , he sounded in interviews more and more cocky and selfcentered. He claimed being private but at the same time was being recorded on intimate moments very often. We started to see him stressed , tired ,a shadow of who he was.

There were no changes... 'till now. I gotta acknowledge her attemps to change, also what Bill is trying to do to save - idk - his image and maybe his family too ¿? . Still the damage has been done

Anyway i'm just one among millions in the world , if I or all the people in this fandom leaves , new ones will arrive. We are replaceable.

I wish him luck in whatever he is trying to do.

And yes he can act , thats the only things that keeps his fandom slightly breathing.

[postitivehaze]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I’ve been MIA. I hope all of you had a great holiday and a happy new year!

This isn’t my normal posting, but I think it’s important. I do hope you read all of it, or at least the TLDR haha.

The end of 2021, my life started going absolutely downhill, it wasn’t even covid related. So many things were happening, it seemed like every week when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. I often asked myself: “why me?? How do I stop this, how can I fix this, how do I change and do better?? I’m so tired…” But, I was in such a slump I only got out of bed to go to work and go to school, which I’m not even sure how I managed that.

By the beginning of 2022, my boyfriend of 3 years, who I was so so madly in love with, broke up with me. My last straw, I was done, I couldn’t believe it. (Or maybe I could, who knows) I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat I couldn’t do anything. I lost 30lbs within the month, I was so depressed, despite trying so hard to be the best version of myself even with everything that had been happening that year. I mean, life has never been easy honestly, but that year just…man.

After I’d pushed myself to limits with everything that happened before that, I couldn’t do it anymore. What more could this life take from me, what else could go wrong? Of course, many many things went so terribly wrong after that.

I made this blog to see only the good things, I was tired of the negative, I really wanted something positive in my life. Although, I lost the energy to post after some time. I was just trying to stay afloat, and many times there were “those” thoughts. It took every ounce of my being, my soul, my everything to stay here.

We’re 2 days into 2023, I’m going outside again, I made new friends and the person I thought was the love of my life is my best friend, even though sometimes it hurts me, I still love him and I’ve managed to make it another year despite all of these trials or whatever it is. This super hard level that I got stuck on, I finally got through.

It’s not easy, but I forced myself to try and live a happier life. To try and pursue the dreams I once had, even though my motivation is still fairly low, I really want this to be my year…our year. For me, for my friends, for everyone.

I hope everyone out there who’s going through rough times, I’m begging you, don’t give up so you can find the joy life you once had. It doesn’t get better right away, and there will always be rough patches but there are so many things waiting for you.

Surround yourself with people who support you, with people who you can relate to, people who reach out when you’re feeling low, with people who will be there no matter what. Even if you have only one of those, even if the only thing you do is talk about life, play games, talk on discord for hours and hours. That’s fine! That’s great! It’s something.

I’ll be your friend man, I’ll always listen, I’ll always be here, or try to be even if I have nothing to say or don’t know what to say, know that you’re never a bother. Although, I can kind of annoying. Im also the person who has nothing to say or can’t stop talking. No Inbetween. I’ll spam message, send you funny memes and videos. You’ll get at LEAST 2. Haha.

Anyway, only looking up for here, Kay??

TLDR;

Life is really something, it can be hard. But there’s so much it can offer. Let me be your friend thanks lmaoo😌

Tell life to eat it!

[nonesensegibberish]

10-03-2024

Or thereabouts. Its midnight, so really it should be 10-*02*-2024. Who cares, though? I'm back sooner, aren't I? I dunno. I'll be honest, I'm just regurgitating a venting rant thing that I just dropped in one of my discord servers. It felt appropriate for... whatever this blog is. So it lives here. I'm dusting off a little corner for it to rest on, and live until the end of time. Or atleast, until it disappears from this website for some reason or another. Some late-night thoughts, shouted into the void by something that one might mistakenly identify as a person. Anyway- the contents of that rant thing are below.

"Why do I keep bothering . What am I working towards. Whats the point of it all. What is the thing that makes all of this worth it.

I'm trying to keep myself stable. I'm trying to not lose my mind over work and insurance and hrt, and my ever present feeling of not being safe- whether its from my parents, or from strangers, or from the political landscape we're in. Im trying not to think about those things. Trying to actively repress how those make me feel. Trying to just push on to another day, and make it one step at a time. I'll get HRT, I'll keep trying to build a career thats worth anything, I'll keep trying to better myself. And everything else… I just. Won't think about it. And hope it never comes back to hurt me.

Thats what it is, at the end of the day.

But why. What is it for. To live another year? Then what? What is it for. I'll probably never meet my girlfriend- probably never be able to hold her. I'll probably never be comfortable with my body. I'll probably never turn voice acting into anything resembling a career. I'm probably going to just keep going day by day until I've wasted too many.

What is it for. Someone please tell me. I need it to be for something. Is it just in hopes that I get more pleasure out of life than I did suffering? To hope that the meager comfort I provide strangers online winds up being worth more than the strain and drain I put on people in real life? That in the end It'd be proven that my heart weighs less than a feather, and I'd claim some sort of utilitarian victory? What is it.

There are days where things feel alright. There are days where I'm consumed by some manic energy and find everything peachy. There are days where I wouldn't ever think of life as being painful. But it never lasts. I don't know.

Why do I keep going? To hope that theres more of those days, than the opposite? I'm not even doing anything with my life, and yet I still always feel tired and stressed. Why? Why do I do it? Just to keep the streak going, I guess? To add one more day to the amount of days I've gone without hurting myself? Is that really it? Is that even an accomplishment? What does it say about me that I consider it one?

I wish I could turn myself into someone who could survive in this world. Could transmute into it. Could rip out the me that is here now, and build something else in it's place. I had very fortunate circumstances. So many less fortunate people exist. So many people could do more with what I've been given. I want, so badly, to just give it all to someone who would use it better.

I've tried, many months or a year ago. Tried to make some tulpa or alter or something. Something to kick me out of my own head, and make use of the body and circumstances I waste. Something built to be okay with it's body, and society, and how life works. Something that wouldnt have my complexes and mental illnesses. Birth something new- designed to be better.

I'm still here. So it never worked. I still think about that often. Does something that stupid even count as a suicide attempt? Or is it just a particularly powerful episode of idiotic delusion? I might as well have been trying to jump as high as I could hoping to hit the sun, for all the chance it had.

So if I'm the one who has to live this life, and theres nothing I can do to change that… What is it for, in the end? Another day added to the streak? Pat myself on the back for struggling to do the thing that normal people do effortlessly. Good job, jackie. Maybe next time you can go the extra mile and find something to do with you life, instead of struggling to just to extend it another day.

Beh. I dont know. It is what it is. Maybe in the morning I'll be feeling better. Maybe not. Either way, I decided a lot time ago that I might as well keep going as long as I'm able- and that isn't changing.

I get all stupid like this the later it gets. Just. Needed to vent it all, I guess. Goodnight. see you all in the morning."

I probably won't see YOU in the morning. It will probably be a good while before I post anything here again- weeks or months or whathave you. And the chances that I see you the morning after you happened to find and read it are slim to none. So. I'll see you when I see you, then. I'll be back here, at the very least. To this blog. It remains a place where I shout and scream and cry into the emptiness, and wish you the strength to be better than me. ... There WILL come a day that I post the last post this blog ever sees. I don't know what will be the cause of it. I hope its that I lost the password or something, or forget about it, or something mundane like that. I don't think that it will be because I wouldn't be around to. Despite it all, I endeavor to keep the streak going. I don't know why, but I do it anyway. I hope you keep your streak going, too.

I'll be back, like an annoying itch you cant quite get rid of.

-A thing. Just... a thing.

[nyanbinary-zack-foster]

im not coming back. At least not yet. I'm not really ready to. I was being honest when I said lately Tumblr has only made me feel worse.

I am going to apologize to the friend I blew up at for a dumbass reason. I shouldn't have blown up at you like that. Honestly, this is just... It's a fact that bothers me a lot that keeps happening lately. People will see a new project and hate it because it's "not original" or "too marketable" or some dumb shit. It hurts because frankly, everything people use to say those are things that apply to me. I feel like I cant be inspired or I'm unoriginal. I feel like if I use tropes I enjoy genuinely ill be hated for that. It's made me lose a lot of creativity and I've been stuck in an art block for most of the year. I'm tired of people hating on any project just because they don't like it while trying to sound like it's noble for them to. You aren't helping creators by saying their work is bad because of changes THEY made. You're only making them feel like nothing they create will ever be good enough.

So yeah. I blew up because I felt like every time I got into something, something that even gave me inspiration, it was immediately called bad for no good reason. It wasn't right of me, and that's why I'm not coming back. If I came back I'd end up getting upset again. Not like I used this platform a lot anyway.

I guess if you wanna find me, I'm on Twitter under ZACKK1NN1E and YouTube as Sal The RPG Nerd. This isn't self promotion, I just figured I'd give anyone who wanted to find me a way to.

Bye

[backinmypjs]

The reactions I've been seeing to the Roe ruling are mindboggling, both online and from my irl social circle. "The dems sat back and let this happen!!1!" no they fucking didn't, you're uninformed about the federal process and you need to read more than headlines of news articles. "No one thought they would actually do this" my buddy my friend what did you think was happening with the trans bans? Please rub those two brain cells together. You didn't show up to protect the bodily autonomy and right to medical decision making for people you don't like/agree with, and now its biting you in the ass because this country is built on legal precedent. "Now is the time to mobilize! #protest #fyp #MyBodyMyChoice #buythisproducttoshowyourvalues" fuck you.

Do you know how this decision even got made? How our political system works? Are you paying attention to the things your local and state legislature is doing? Do you know who your representatives are? ARE YOU GETTING INVOLVED??

Do you know why this decision was delivered today, specifically? Because the conservatives are very very good at controlling the narrative. If nothing else had dropped, coverage of what came out in yesterday's Jan 6 hearing would have dominated the weekend news cycle. Now, however, conservative pundits can hammer on the sanctity of the court using the SAME RHETORIC used in the hearing which stressed the importance of a DOJ that is not beholden to the majority party, AND everyone is debating whether a fetus is a person instead of the multiple felonies and attempted election fraud committed by a sitting president.

I know its a lot. I know your time is limited and its easier to not pay attention because there so many problems and you can't possibly solve them all. You're right, you can't. Thats why we work as a collective. I may not be able to protest the new stadium thats bankrupting our economic development fund & the dystopian police program targeting high schoolers & call all committe reps about common-sense gun control & volunteer with the phone bank to register voters, but I know people working in all those groups because I work with a group trying to stop the clear cutting of 750 acres of forest with mission remnants and a potential native burial site to build apartments. When we present to the commission, the others show up in support because they know we did the research, and we do the same for them. Solidarity. No one has the capacity to care about and affect change for every single issue, so just pick the two most important or accessible to you and SHOW UP.

Get involved. Pay attention. Think critically. Come to rallies, join a working group, call your reps, be an informed voter and know your school board and city/County commissioners. Tweet about it if you have to. But for fucks sake don't add me to a text chain of people asking how this could have happened.

[herofics]

Hi, I’m the anon who asked you about the request. my request is for todoroki, bakugou and dabi( I want it to be a scenario but if you don’t find a way to it I’ll be happy with a headcanon too) reacting to their girlfriend venting to them that she’s always careful with what she’s going to say to an older person cause when she was younger her parents used to spank or yell at her for what she had done wrong (They really love her and now they’re really sorry for it) and how they would comfort her because she starts crying every time she remember one of the days that it happened

OBS.: every time her parents or an “superior“ person (like a teacher or chef) gets angry with her her eyes gets full of tears (but she knows how to control it to not spill at that moment by holding her breath) and she gets really jumpy (cause it’s like an instinct that she’s going to get slapped

im really sorry if this is a bad request, it’s just how I feel now cause that used to happen with me and any time my parents get angry with me (even if I know it’s just going to be a simple conversation with a fast end) I can’t control the fear inside of me.

anyways, thank you for your comprehension 💜😘

Idk if this is really what you wanted or how you wanted it, but I tired to write something for you. I didn’t do Bakugou, because I couldn’t come up with anything for him

~Dabi~

Sure, Dabi raised his voice every now and then, but rarely at you. This time however he did, and the effect was instantaneous. You just stared at him in disbelief, while trying to keep a neutral expression so as to not agitate him. That’s just what you had learned to do when someone got angry at you. You tried your best to not escalate the situation, just not react and not make him any more pissed off than he was.

“You hear me?” Dabi growled, raising his hand and hitting the couch, as he noticed you didn’t seem to be paying attention, it was like you were looking straight through him. He saw your expression change to fear when he took a step towards you and grabbed your shoulders, so he let go and took a step back.

“I’m sorry” you muttered, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I’m sorry”

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Dabi asked, but still kept his distance.

“Because you’re mad at me-me and I don’t want-want you to be” you stammered.

“I’m not mad, maybe annoyed and tired as hell, but not mad” he scoffed and stepped closer, grabbing your hand.

You didn’t usually feel like this with Dabi, like he was superior to you or anything like that, but you weren’t having the best of days, and all the memories of your parents’ shitty behavior towards you were surfacing. You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.

“Don’t cry sweetness” he said and wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

You tilted your head back to look at the ceiling instead of Dabi and took a couple of deep breaths before looking at him again.

“I’m okay” you said, trying to pull away and wiping your face with your sleeve.

Dabi didn’t let go of your hand, and instead pulled you towards himself.

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell that was about”

“It’s nothing, I swear” you said with a fake smile.

“(Name), I know when you’re lying” Dabi said with a roll of his eyes.

“It just makes some bad memories come back to the surface when people get mad at me, or raise their hand at me”

“What kinds of bad memories?”

“I don’t really feel like going into it, can we just leave it at that?” you sighed.

“I guess” Dabi sighed, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

He pulled you along with him to sit on the couch. You sat down next to him and leaned your head against his shoulder and he leaned his on top of your head.

Dabi was pretty sure he already knew what this was about. He’d noticed your behavior around authority figures and such people before, but he had never said anything. He just didn’t think you viewed him as someone like that, which is why your reaction weirded him out so much. Dabi wasn’t really sure if it bothered him or not that you viewed him as someone “superior”, but for now he decided it didn’t.

~Todoroki Shouto~

“I just don’t know how to deal with your dad. I know we’ve been together for a long time and I��ve met him multiple times, but he still kinda scares me” you blurted out while Shouto and you were sitting by the kitchen table for breakfast.

“Okay? Where did that come from?” Shouto asked, and looked at you with a bit of a worried expression.

“Sorry, I just felt like I needed to say it and I didn’t know how to really lead into it, so I just said it” you sighed.

“It’s okay, I kind of get where you’re coming from” Shouto said.

He wasn’t scared of his father anymore, but he did understand why you would find him scary or intimidating, especially with all you knew of him.

“I don’t think it’s all your dad’s fault though. My parents just kind of instilled in me a fear of people who are my elders or superior to me” you said with a wry laugh, the memories flooding into your mind.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t wanna ruin your morning too, by talking about this I mean” you sighed.

“You couldn’t ruin my morning even if you tried” Shouto said with a gentle, reassuring smile. “I want to know what you’re feeling. I can see this isn’t a subject you enjoy talking about, but I would like to know”

You considered what to say for a moment, before saying: “My parents didn’t like me talking back to them, so I used to either get yelled at or slapped, if I was “disrespectful” you said slowly, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Hey, it’s okay” Shouto said, grabbing your hand that was resting next to your mug on the table.

You took a few wavering breaths. You didn’t feel like crying right now, even though you were sure Shouto wouldn’t mind.

“Things are better between us now, and my parents are sorry for what they did” you said.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad if things are better between you now” Shouto said.

“I don’t really feel like talking about this anymore, can we change the subject?” you asked.

“Of course, but I’m glad you told me” Shouto said gently and squeezed your hand.

You didn’t really feel like going into more detail about the whole thing right now, but you were still glad you told him how you felt.

[jiminrings]

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

:O

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

[attourney-at-lycan]

OKAY i finished love love paradise. now. THOUGHTS.

not enough garroth. i want more garroth. i need more garroth.

you can tell the huge difference pdh has had on mystreet if you watch s1 and llp back to back. they reference it a lot so you’d probably be clueless for some of the mentions, though they do vaguely explain some of their references. 

at the beginning the voice lines were a bit weird, there was always such a weird awkward pause between the lines that was extremely obvious but it does get better after the first couple episodes

the whole dante, jenna and nicole thing bothered me. IT WASN’T. problematic per say. i dont think it was b a d but it could’ve been done much better? i do like how nicole and jenna didn’t act as if nothing happened and didn’t try getting back w/ him or give him a second chance at love. i like how dante knows he cannot repair the damage he’s done. his plot lines can be mature which sometimes takes me in for a loop. however when zane said “dante is trying, he’s just being dumb” it made me.. yknow the kombucha girl cringe meme? yeah that one. i feel like........ it was taken a bit too lightly imo? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. i just wish it was taking more seriously.

also the travlyn thing towards the end kinda.. gave me whiplash. LIKE I KNOW it was sorta foreshadowed w/ travis going “i can’t take it” in his convo w/ dante but.. IT WAS SO WEIRD? because initially it was written as a funny joke but then it wasn’t and travis was actually feeling hurt. it’s just i don’t think it was done well enough so it came off as a sudden change in tone thats jarring

oh my god am i being too harsh- i feel like i was being too harsh bc this was not written by a genius so idk why im critiquing it so harshly im so sorry. but i’m still going bc i can :]

BUT ANOTHER THING. the whole aphmau being scared of swimming was hhh? on one hand i feel like it was taken wayy too seriously but at the same time i feel like it wasn’t taken seriously enough at times. by that i mean, aphmau seems to be the type to trust her friends a lot regardless, and she encourages her friends to tell her things no matter how embarrassing they may be, but when it comes to her, she stubbornly refuses to tell anyone but zane. but then when everyone knows, no one takes her fear seriously w/ pushing her into the water or going “lmao you’re overreacting”. maybe it’s me because i also cannot swim and it’s sooo fucking scary being in chest level water. tbh im honestly overreacting bc i would also laugh if someone was in my position ngl

WHERE WAS LAURANCE. WHERE THE. FUCK. WAS MY FAVORITE QUEER?

gene was great i love gene he’s so fun. it was honestly so weird him appearing like that. also what did they do to ivy. i wish ivy kept her haughty behavior but i do get her maturing or wtver but i just wish there was still that spunk now to me she feels like a bland.. character who’s just changed to good.

ONE MORE THING. i forgot what i ti was. GOD I SAID THIS ALREADY BUT SYLVANNA REALLY PISSED ME OFF THIS SEASON. i was fine w/ her not knowing that her daughter had a boyfriend but still going against her wishes despite knowing she has one afterwards simply because you don’t like him hrggghr. i know that mom’s can be annoying like that yeah but jesus fuck it does not help.

honestly aaron was just.. The Boyfriend, yet again. i did like how it was obvious that aaron was becoming more comfortable w/ the people around him and being more outgoing. it was cute. however. most of the things coming out of his mouth was aphmau. EVEN WHEN IT WAS DANTE’S PROBLEM HE COULD NOT HOLD BACK FROM BRINGING UP APHMAU IM SO TIRED. 

anyway i give this season...... honestly 8/10? i know i complained a lot abt this seasons but it was genuinely fun to watch. i liked the other little side characters like the token gay couple (guy and nate + teony and The Girl who’s name they mentioned but i forgot), the dad and his son, also the bartender- 

ONCE AGAIN i would love to mention this mini review is totally based off my personal taste yaddah yaddah, this is a very subjective and biased post so :thumbsup:

[imaloserbbyxoxo]

Dabi as a dad. That's it. That's the post.

please keep in mind i suck at writing so im sorry if this his terrible i'm just trying to make myself feel better

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It was late at night. Dabi wasn't sure what time it was, but he could only assume it was around two in the morning. He was unbelievably exhausted and worn out. So much work had to be done lately for the league and Shikaraki was running him ragged from all the orders and tasks he was assigned.

So much work had to be done, that he hadn't been able to sleep for the past day and a half. His body was starting to shut down, but he knew he had to keep on until the jobs were completed.

People in the league were the only ones that knew this secret Dabi had. He had a whole other life ever since three years ago. He had become a father. He never knew it would happen, he never even planned it. Honestly? He never really wanted to be a father, but ever since she was born, he was in love. A beautiful baby girl. Who would have ever thought? A son, maybe. But a girl? Whoa. That's a whole knew level.

Dabi and Y/N had been together for 2 years before the birth of their daughter. He really did love Y/N, but for some reason unknown to him, having a little girl made the love go even deeper. He never imagined he could love anyone, much less Y/N. His whole world was steadily changing around him, and he was doing all he could to cope with it.

The one thing hard about everything going on, was he had to be away from home. Away from his girls. Y/N knew he was in the league and everything that was going on in his life. She knew when they got together. She didn't mind it, really. Just as long as Dabi was safe. But she knew he would be. He was a really tough and tedious guy. He was constantly careful, no matter how big or how small the task.

But Dabi couldn't' help but stress about the girls at home by themselves. He had become so protective over them the past few years, and hated that they had to be alone most of the time. Nothing made him more relaxed than hearing their voices and laughs. It melted him, in a good way.

----

After walking down this street Dabi found himself on, he cut down an alley. Once he walked down it a few feet, he leaned his back against the cold, stone wall of a building, and slid down it until he collapsed on the ground. Automatically, his eyes started to feel heavy. He needed to rest so bad. Maybe just a few minutes wouldn't hurt. Leaning his head back against the wall, he slowly started to drift away into sleep.

Time had passed and he hadn't moved. It only felt like a few minutes, but apparently it was about an hour of him napping. He was awoken by a tune on his phone. Normally, he would have ignored it, but this particular tune was set to only Y/N's contact, so he quickly pulled it out of his pocket.

Before answering, he glanced at the time. Four in the morning. What was she doing up? Dabi's heart started to race. He couldn't help but think that something was wrong. He hastily answered.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"...daddy?"

"Yes, baby? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I had a bad dream."

Dabi hadn't noticed, but his muscles were tense. Once he heard the words 'bad dream', he softened. Everything was okay. He knew it was, because even though it's unfortunate, nightmares were almost a daily occurrence with his daughter. From the trauma of his childhood, Dabi had aquired nightmares and night terrors of his own. Unfortunetly, his daughter picked up that trait. On a positive note, he knew how to deal with them more than Y/N did, so whenever this happened, he was the one to go to. Thank goodness the kid hadn't had any actual night terrors. Yet. Just bad dreams.

Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them, he tiredly smiled and spoke. "You had a bad dream, huh?"

"Yeah. It was about you this time."

Dabi's smile faded. Most of the girl's nightmares where just simple things that kids fear, but the ones about him and Y/N were becoming more and more frequent. It was becoming concerning, but he just had to shrug it off. For her. He was still knew to this whole father thing, but one thing he did know was that you shouldn't' show worry in front of a kid, or they will start to worry. So he did just that. He blew off the worry in his mind for now and just had to focus on the kid.

"About me, huh?"

"Yeah! You had died in it."

"Is that why you're calling? Where you scared?"

"A little."

Y/N shouted from the background. "Don't let her lie! She woke up crying."

Dabi scoffed and smiled. "My poor kiddo..." he thought.

"You? Scared? I thought you weren't scared of anything, just like your daddy."

"I wasn't scawed! I am just like you daddy! Big and strong!"

His heart melted in a mix of good and bad feelings. He hoped she would grow up strong willed like him, but...not how he truly was deep down. All the trauma, all the pent up anger, all the troubles he has caused.

"Be strong like me, but kind like your mother."

"Okay daddy. I will!"

"Okay, baby. Can you hand the phone to mommy, please? I love you. Go back to bed and don't be scared. I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Okay daddy! I wub you!"

Dabi smiled. "Love you too, kiddo. Good night."

"Night daddy."

Shuffling noises were heard on the other end of the line. A different voice came on.

"I'm sorry to bother you while your working, babe. She wanted to talk to you and wouldn't take no as an answer."

"It's alright, doll. I wasn't busy right now anyways."

"Are you doing okay? Staying safe?"

"Yes, of course. You know that."

After a few more minutes of talking, Y/N said her goodbyes. She had to put the girl to sleep now and try to get some rest herself. Dabi said his goodbyes in return, saying I love you, and hung up his phone. He stood up from his resting position, and gathered up the strength to continue his work.

"Alright, back at it I suppose."

He lazily walked out of the alley

and back around the corner. He was met by a familiar face.

His boss, Shigaraki. His silver hair was long, down to the base of his neck, and he was wearing his trademark coat. They all had been working so much lately, that they didn't have the time to take care of themselves. Shigaraki specifically. His scratch marks were getting worse from his scratching due to stress. His hair was getting to long, because he didn't have the time to take care of it. Dabi knew better than to say anything though. Shigaraki had been on edge lately, and probably wouldn't hesitate to take care of Dabi's attitude in his own way.

"What are you doing here, dusty?"

Shigaraki scratched his neck a little, looking up at Dabi. "I followed you to make sure you were doing your tasks. You were the last stop before going back to the base. I've already checked on everyone else."

"Save the best for last, huh?"

"Whatever, patchwork. I couldn't help but over hear your conversation."

Dabi looked at him with tired eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"Do you miss them?"

"Well, duh. Of course I do." He changed his tune to a sarcastic one. "But you have to have these missions done, right?" It might have been the exhaustion talking, but damnit Dabi just wanted to go home. He missed his bed. The way the house smelled like candles because Y/N had an obsession with them. The way his little girl would run to him when he would walk in the door. He missed cuddling both of them in bed, as his daughter would drift to sleep watching tv. He missed it so much, he couldn't put it into words. He wanted to go home more than anything right now. But work had to be done.

As Dabi was in thought, his face contorted into distraught and exhaustion, and Shigaraki noticed. Maybe it was something in the weather this early morning, but he actually got a kind bone in his body.

"Go home, Dabi."

Dabi looked at him in shock. "But I'm not done-"

"I'm not gonna tell you again. Go home. I can tell your getting exhausted, and I don't need you passing out on me. I need you at your full potential. So go home and rest. Take as much time as you need." Shigaraki started to walk away. "I know you'll be back when your done resting so I'm not worried."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Again, I am so sorry if this is bad. Also, I'm sorry for that ending. it's kinda shit, but I'm kinda afraid of writing more because I might ruin it. Anyways.... OTL;

@dabiboy @deviousspleen @toyas-wife

<3 IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED JUST LET ME KNOW <3

[arhvste]

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

-

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit 

he analysis’ anything and everything 

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing 

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far 

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused 

you’re never ever late 

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone 

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours 

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh 

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be 

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for 

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it 

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch 

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you 

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time 

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics 

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them 

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground 

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair 

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults 

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways 

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls 

the absolute bane of his existence 

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes 

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive 

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you 

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point 

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend 

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes 

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand 

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile 

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour 

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you 

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed 

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately 

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

-

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[minminnie-shii]

Giving SF9 Cuddles

Hai hai!! I know i’ve been gone for a while

lets just act like that never happened

Buttt, I’m back and recently I’ve been watching the new series of Kingdom and I am so hype to see my babies sf9 

currently sobbing

also my mom was very upset when they came in last place

anyways they’re all working so hard and I’m so proud of them so I decided to write this for all the Fantasy and new Fantasy who are getting into my babies.

so here is sf9 wanting cuddles, enjoy

~Kim Youngbin~

this man

uggghhh

i love him so much i might cry

moving on

being a father of eight children is hard work

but my best baby does everything he can and is the best leader he can be for those boys

butttt

being a little is hard work and he needs to be taken care of as much as they do

insert the love of his life

thats you

youre good at telling when hes stressed and do everything you can to help him

so when he looks at you with doe eyes asking for cuddles you don’t hesitate to say yes

so now your laying on your bed youngbins head on your chest

youre running your hand through his hair softly and humming to him

he lets out a peaceful sigh and lifts hiss head looking up at you

“i love you so much” 

he looks so sleepy and you couldn’t stop yourself from cooing at him

he eventually falls asleep and you just lay there quietly admiring him

he’s the love of your life and you’ll never understand how you got so lucky to have someone like him in your life

#toptiercouple

~Kim Inseong~

this man

DORK ALERT

he will ask for cuddles in the most dramatic way

you’re at the dorm visiting him before he starts filming for his new show

you know that you wont be able to see him for a while and youre a little sad

inseong of course knows this

so he wants to make today extra special

he surprised you with flowers and your favorite snacks 

he even bought you a penguin plushie that was almost the size of you

so now youre sitting on the couch waiting for him to come back so you could start the movie you wanted to watch

inseong was watching you from the kitchen

you were playing with the sleeves of his sweater that you were wearing staring blankly at the screen in front of you

he smiled softly to himself before skipping into the livingroom

“____, dont look so sad, cuddle me instead!”

his loud voice nearly made you jump out of your skin

he plopped onto the couch next to you and wrapped his arms tightly around you

he pulled you into his chest and slowly rocked you back and forth

a smile came to your face as you rested your head on his chest

“it wont be long, i promise ill call you everyday, okay?” 

he assured you that he’ll come see you as soon as filming was over

you knew that he would and you were more than willing to wait for him

because you love him and there was nothing that would ever change your mind

even if he is a major dork that makes you cringe more often than not

~Lee Jaeyoon~

bias wrecker number 1

did you guys see how hard he practiced for the jealous stage on kingdom

i might cry

i hope he got enough time to rest after hurting his knee

you were at your apartment when youngbin called you letting you know that jaeyoon was on his way to the hospital

of course you were worried but he assured you that he was okay he just hurt his knee

sObBiNg

of course you told him that you would meet him there and quickly got dressed

once you finally reached the hospital your boyfriend was staying at you found youngbin who was waiting for your outside

“is he okay? hes not too hurt is he?” 

“he’ll be okay, he just has to rest for a while, i told him you were coming”

as quickly as he could he led you into the room where jaeyoon was lying restlessly

when he heard the door open his head shot over to you and he smiled sadly

you quickly composed yourself and smiled, walking over to him

you sat in the chair next to him and the two of you talked for a while

he told you about coming in last place, feeling like he didn’t work hard enough

it hurt you to see him like that and you did everything you could to reassure him that you were proud of him and he did the best that he could

he began to grow sleepy while talking to you and you could tell

“can you spend the night here with me?” 

you almost squealed out loud as he sleepy state but you just nodded and agreed

he scooted as far as he could to the side of the bed to make room for you

you laid down next to him and he immediately wrapped his body around yours hugging you as closely as he could

he easily fell asleep to you petting his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him

i squealed

~Lee Sanghyuk~

bEaNnnnN

hes so adorable i cant handle it

he also may be my moms favorite she doesnt know yet

although he is a dork he is very serious when it comes to his relationship with you

you are the light of his life and he will treat you as such

but youre still not safe from his pranks and constant jokes

he came to your apartment in his next attempt to bug you 

but when he noticed that you weren’t your normal bubbly self he placed himself next to you on the couch

you immediately reacted and rested your body against his

he leaned back into the cushions and pulled you into his lap

he would occasionally kiss your forehead letting out small hums

he would listen intensely as you tell him about you day

you explained why you were sad and he acted as if it happened to him

giving you advice on how to deal with the situation

it was rare for you to see him so serious but you loved that he was willing to help you with whatever problem that you had

even if it was something small a small trivial matter that didnt have any meaning

once he was sure that you were okay and they two of you would joke around

being the little shit that he is he would pin you down on the couch and began to tickle you

“yah, knock it off!” 

you tried your best to push him off of you

but our man is swole and was not letting you off that easy

once he finally decides youve had enough flops down and lays on top of you

“youre lucky youre cute”

you couldn’t stop the growing smile on your face as the two of you continued to joke around

~Baek Ju Ho~

bias wrecker number 2

hes so precious and i cant handle the cuteness

aaaahhhhh

excuse me ill calm myself

the boy

whether he admits it or not

he will drop anything and run the minute you call his name

and if youre sad or if you pout

lord you better believe hes right there plotting the death of whoever made you sad

one day you and zuho are out walking around doing couple things

you know, being adorable

when all of a sudden you see a group of girls pointing and laughing

you werent sure what they found funny but you began to grow self concious

it didnt even have to be you that they were laughing at, but your mind got the best of you

zuho noticed the sudden change in behavior and immediately took your hand

he pulled you into a hug and rocked you back and forth slightly

he caressed the back of your head and whispered to you about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are

you looked up at him and smiled softly 

he chuckled to himself before placing a soft kiss to your lips

he continued to press light kisses all over your face as he hugged you tighter

you giggled and hid your face in his chest

the people that surrounded you couldn’t help but smile as they watched the two of you

even the girls who you thought were laughing at you they had large smiles on their faces as they all talked about wishing to have a boyfriend like him

~Kim Seok Woo~

i swear i feel like he would be the best boyfriend ever

i know im not the only one who sees it

C U D D L E B U G

he won’t be able to live if he doesnt touch you at least once every ten minutes

ten seconds

he loves your touches 

lets be honest he loves everything about you

i am not kidding

after a stressful day of filming schedules and whatever other plans he has

his favorite thing is to come home and have you waiting for him

there were a lit of times where you would fall asleep waiting for him

he knew that it was late and you wouldnt be awake so he didnt bother to call you

he walked into his dorm tired from the long day that he had

after getting a bottle of water he walked into his room and a large smile came to his face

you were lying on his bed bundled up in his blankets sleeping peacefully

he got ready for bed as fast as he could wanted to lie next to you as fast as he could

once he was ready he carefully and quietly lifted up the blanket covering up your body

he laid down next to you and slipped one arm underneath your body

he slowly rolled you over so your body was lying on top of his

once the two of you were cozy he covered your body back up with the blanket

letting out a peaceful sigh he relaxed his body against yours closing his eyes and letting your quiet breathing quickly lulling him to sleep

you woke up a little later noticing that you werent lying in the same position you fell asleep in

your eyes fluttered open and a smile came to your face as you stared at your sleeping boyfriend

you placed a small kiss on his nose before settling back down and once again falling into your slumber

~Yoo Taeyang~

baby

i love him so much

literally no words can explain it

uggghhh

anyway

his favorite thing to do outside of his idol life

iiisss 

*YOU*

so when he FINALLY gets a day off

guess what hes doing

hanging out with the love of his life of course

duh

he spent the night at your apartment the day before and now the two of you are lying in bed 

youre both lying on your sides just staring at each other with cute smiles on your faces

the aura around the two of you is peaceful, quiet, and intimate

to anyone looking in you could see the love pouring off of the two of you just by looking

you lifted your hand and brought it closer to taeyangs face, trailing your fingers up his jaw

you brought your hand up to his hairline and gently caressed his hair

“i love you”

a red hue came to taeyangs cheeks as he buried his face in your neck

“yah, you cant say stuff like that out of no where”

you giggle as his breath tickled your neck

you draped your arms loosely around his neck as he shifted to hover above you

“but its true”

“i love you” 

he buried his face in your neck again and attacked you with kisses

you squealed loudly and the two of you spent the rest of your day just like this

and neither of you would have it any other way

~Kim Youngkyun~

this dood

A W K W A R D

seriously please help him

no one really knows how the two of you got together

youre both so awkward that people dont understand your relationship

but lets be honest the two of you are perfect for each other

hwiyoung is a sensitive lil gentleman and he totally understands you

buttt sometimes it doesnt come out how he wants it to

you know, him being awkward and all

he does love your affection but he just has a hard time showing it

so a lot of the time youre the one that has to initiate it

“youngie come here”

his head shot over to look at you the minute that he heard you whine

he stood on his feet and walked over to his bed where you were sitting

“are you okay? whats wrong?” 

you just smiled and grabbed his hand pulling him onto the bed

he let out an exclaim of surprise as he landed with an oof on the bed

you acted quickly and wrapped your arms around his waist

you laid half of your body on top of his and stared down at him

his face was red as he stared up at you

“i hate it when you do that”

you laughed again as you rested your chin on his chest

“you love it and you know it”

he just rolled his eyes and the two of you continued to talk to each other while lying like that

hwiyoung locked his hands around your waist while you talked about your idea of getting a new puppy

“will you name it after me?” 

you gushed at his pout and squished his cheeks together

“youre too cute”

you loved how adorable he was and you hoped that he stayed this adorable forever

~Kang Chanhee~

fluffy fluff boy

deserves all the love in the world

supes awk

but tries to act confident around you because well

the boys make fun of him about you

our lil actor boy will be super chill about it as long as youre in the room

but the minute you leave

will whine and complain to his members

so one day when you randomly walked into the dorm and they were all there

you didnt hesitate to walk over to chani on the couch and plop down next to him 

you wrapped one arm around his waist and rested your head on his shoulder

you let out a small sigh and relaxed yourself into his body

the boys didnt say anything but they all had smiles on their faces as the two of you were in your own little world

chani slipped his hand into yours as the two of you continued to talk about your days

“when are you going to teach me your new routine?”

chani laughed and kissed the top of your head

“whenever youre ready”

he smiled when you let out a little yawn

“come on, lets go to bed”

you sat up and stood on your feet following him into his room

you plopped onto his bed and he laid down next to you

“will you sing for me?” 

he let out a tiny giggle before nodding

once the two of you were comfortable he began to sing quietly until your head lulled to the side 

once he knew you were sleeping he hugged you closer loving the fact that you were so close to him