#im so tired folks
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I should not have made all those jokes about this year being better than last year already.
#this week has been aimed at kicking me while I'm down apparently#we got back from the coast and i swear the hits start comin and they dont stop comin#trying to look on the bright side of things feels a bit like:#we're finally getting my dog on seizure medications!#(because he had a full hours worth of seizures before we could get him into the emergency vet)#i get to see family and go back to boise next weekend! (because a family member passed away and im going to the funeral)#i finally had a full night's sleep for the first time in ages!#(my first dose of insomnia medication was completely interrupted by having to drive my dog to the ev at 2 am)#im so tired folks
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Every night my cat knows that i will get up at 10pm, 2 am, 6 am and 10 am to give her the usual small portion of food that she has to eat this often because of her liver and she still terrorizes me by licking random objects to show me that she's hungry like a brat even WHILE im preparing her food
Its 10 am and the past 12 hours she licked:
- my sneakers
- the inside of a window frame
- sandpaper
- a E27 lightbulb
Why do i even try to keep her alive and healthy
Also look at the mess she makes in one night:
#fuck them kids i wisper to myself while i mix her super expensive food and some treats because otherwise she wont eat it#realising i raised a spoiled brat that will throw tantrums because she knows she will get her way either way#im so tired folks#i dont even know how she got the lightbulb out of a shelf man i just heard it drop
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((why is like 90% of the takes on and adaptations of batb some of the most rancid shit I've had to witness))
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songtember day 13: BROCKHAMPTON - J'OUVERT
#brockhampton#catgirl#illustration#drawing#art#oc#yuno#songtember#IM CUTTIN IT CLOSE HERE folks. im so fuckin tired from the concert#listen to these fucking songs btw
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes âohhh yeah bc pinkâ#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going âwhat about the pink onesâ on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other âqueerâ folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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Spent the entire weekend watching eom, mainly going crazy at ep 20.
#love virgil so much#hes so#RAHHH#im tired im not gonna spam in the tags#edge of midnight#legends of avantris#eom spoilers#ol jericho sticks#but most folk call him jericho#i call him my one and only#briggsy kratch#lethica nightborne#farryn of the hartsblight#virgil
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To say an Aspec person's life is wasted because they lack an interest in [sex/romance/platonic relationships]* is like saying an evergreen tree has wasted its life for refusing to grace its branches with apples
*(respect aros, aces, and aplatonic folk equally or taste my blade)
#gopher rambles#i myself am not asexual aromantic or aplatonic#though im DemiRose i suppose (if thats the term I'm looking for?)#but i love my siblings who ARE#this goes for aroaces. aroallos. alloaces. folks who feel repulsed by these things. folks who engage with them for whatever reasons#ect ect ect#i think youre all cool and the intracommunjty fighting is. well its really fucking stupid. please. i am begging. i am so tired#can we not be allies to one another?#asexual#aromantic#aplatonic#aspec#idk what tags y'all use but oh well
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sooooo I got a trigun tattoo today
#i could wax poetic about it for hours honestly#but i got stabbed with needles like ten thousand times and i am tired so#suffice to say trigun means a lot to me#and im so deeply grateful for all the folks i met thru it#and for all the incredible things trigun has inspired in all the creatives ive met#it goes deeper than that but anyway#ur ticket to the future is always blank babeeyyyyy#trigun
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June 2023
How could you forget Lup?
[Image Description: A 5-panel illustrated comic featuring Taako and Lup in a limited color palette of pink, light brown, light red, purple, blue and yellow. Taako is is depicted with light brown skin and dark hair, which he ties behind his back. He wears a purple cloak. Lup is depicted with light brown skin and dark hair, which she ties in front of her. She wears a red cloak.
Panel 1: Young Taako and Lup, on both sides of a pot. Lup is stirring as Taako looks in. Below the panel is captioned with purple text:
âWhatâs the feelingâ
Panel 2: Close-up of young Taako and Lup. You can see half of their face, and they are excitedly talking to each other. Below the panel is captioned with purple text:
âWhen you have a broken home, home, home?â
Panel 3: Pans down to young Taako and Lupâs torso. They are standing close to each other, indicating that they are holding hands. Below the panel is captioned, text in purple:
âWhereâs the love when you were left on your ownâ
Panel 4: Taakoâs hand, wearing the Bureau of Balance bracer. His hand is relaxed, but alone. There is a brief out line of Lupâs hand, reaching out for his. Below the panel is captioned with purple text:
âSo aloneâ
Panel 5: Taako is standing center-frame, and you can only see the bottom half of his face and his torso. There is a single tear rolling down his cheek, his mouth slightly agape. He is grasping the Umbrastaff tightly in one hand, holding it close to his chest. There is a faint outline of a hand on his shoulder. Below the panel is captioned with red text:
âWho said youâre on your own?â End ID]
#taz#tazb#the adventure zone#taako taaco#lup taaco#lup#taako#lup taz#taako taz#illustration#the song is no lullaby by siames if folks are wondering.#color palette used here is mildly inspired by the animated video!#i actually wanted to use the style too but ended up defaulting to my style but a little more cartoonized#btw the sketch i did for this was from like. may 2022.#just never got around to actually finishing it bc i always prioritize finishing my r*ihan pieces bc of the brainrot lol.#normally draw the twins with dark brown hair + dyed but for the sake of a good limited color palette they have raven hair now#excited to share this w yall bc this is going to be the first âfully finishedâ taz art im showing#anw augh ive had this in the drafts for more than a week bc ive been so tired and couldnt think of a good way to write the id#i hope it ended up good hauhhg
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TIL that theres aphobes on Tumblr trying to claim that Jughead Jones has actually been gay coded the whole time and that saying he's ace is homophobic I fucking hate it here
#as an ace person who grew up on the archie comics this really pissed me off#like theres literally a canon gay charecter in the comics why do you have to take the one charecter aces have#and honestly i have yet to see anyone actually do proper analysis and explain in what way the charecter is gay coded at all#the only point ive seen anyone make that supposedly reveals his âobvious gay codingâ#is that he was never intrested in women in the comics#WELL GUESS WHAT#HE WASENT INTRESTED IN MEN EITHER#IN FACT HE WASNT INTRESTED IN ANYONE#AND EXPRESSED DISTASTE IN THE CONCEPT OF SEX AND ROMANCE ENTIRELY#YOU KNOW WHAT ORIENTATION THAT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE?#HMMM I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE FOLKS#I CANT QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON IT#VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES#im so tired of this shit#can people just let us exist please#jughead jones#archie comics#asexual#aromantic#aroace#ace discourse#aphobia#tw swearing
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did you know? it's so so easy to highlight the suffering of one group without minimizing or putting down the suffering of another. you can talk about transphobia without being racist. you can talk about racism without being ableist. etc etc
trans men don't have to put down trans women to talk about the very real discrimination they face. and vice versa. we need to stop infighting. the real enemy is not your peers. we only get through this together.
#i am trans black and disabled and im so tired of seeing people only advocate for one part of me while putting down the others#also like im nonbinary. i will never 'pass'.#but i dont have to put down binary trans folks who CAN pass to talk about how isolating that is#they are my beloved siblings and i am happy for them#you can address how trans mascs are victims of misogyny without implying that trans fems are overreacting to transmisogyny#idk man it's all so pointless when we're all dirty fags to them regardless#newsflash smartass#all queer people are affected by misogyny#all queer people are being targeted by fascists#tldr STOP FIGHTINGGGGGGGG#meowing
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#sheâs the best characterization Iâve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because thatâs what youâre told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because itâs not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole âgifted kid jinxâ thing (not me but yaâll do you) but yaâllâ#YAâLL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VIâ#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but Iâll expand on it later âcause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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hey psst c'mere... no a little closer... a little closer- there we go
Loop lips are part of a racist caricature of Black people. Stop drawing Black characters with loop lips. I don't care how they look in canon, it's racist.
okay that's all you can go
#one piece#usopp#goes for other black characters too but this is the one that comes to mind rn.#not gonna get into other shit like 'lightening their skin to make them look prettier teehee'#or 'but they look better with wavy/straight hair!ÂĄ!!' or any of the number of other stuff ive seen#bc like. im not even sure folks can handle this one simple thing lmao#many people are great about this but theres still quite a few who are ass#'um! well the creator did it this way and i like him! and he did it on his white characters too!' dont give a shit.#stop drawing racist caricatures. i like op too but im not riding that guy's dick and twisting myaelf in knots trying to justify all his BS#we can agree he's bad at drawing women and he fumbles how he handles queer characters (sometimes. this is mostly referring to momoiro)#but you can't listen to folks who are constantly saying 'hey this is a racist depiction of black people. please dont draw like that'#like???#im gonna keep it 100 with you guys. i love one piece. its got me through some dark times. ive loved it for a long long time#i dont expect the creator to ever give me the time of day#but english fandom? english fandom i can change. and english fandom i can hold to a BARE MINIMUM standard of 'dont be racist'#and yet i still get disappointed. far more often than i should.#ignorance is one thing but the people who DOUBLE DOWN are the worst#thanks for telling me you prioritize your comfort over not being wildly offensive to me and people like me#idfk where i was going with this im just so goddamn tired#if u wanna know more about what im talking about in the post just look up the wiki for minstrel shows & jim crow
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Sometimes your Mental Illness⢠is kicking your ass and all you can do is offer the first hot, non-leftover meal you managed to prep in the day at 10:30 pm to Apollo & ask for help getting to *and* getting through your appointment tomorrow and that's okay
#the first thing i offered over the past two or three days b/c OOH boy this depression has HANDS#gonna be talking to my psychiatrist about changing meds b/c i think i've finally developed a tolerance to mine & im already on the high dose#so i dont really want to up it any more than it already has been (which is what she suggested last appointment)#i usually at least offer at hot meals but i didnt have the energy for that even#it doesnt help that im recovering from a big work presentation where i ran tech (aka keeping the powerpoints & other visual aids running)#all. day. which *i* offered to do but that doesnt make it any less tiring#...i also think i forgot to offer something to hermes that i was meaning to. gonna have to do that#i *was* planning on doing a tarot check-in on friday but uh. im definitely not in the right emotional headspace for that atm#gonna have to wait for when i can do more than lie in bed all day#listen to your body & brain folks. it's okay if all your energy has to go into riding something out#& you dont have the energy for all the rituals/prayers/offerings/etc that you usually do#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#hellenic community#apollo#my post#mental health cw#depression cw#ive been offering the steam from hot meals to hestia too ofc b/c. you know. first & last#it felt weird not mentioning that somewhere#i *do* offer to just her or to her 'and all the deathless gods of olympus' too
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Only in the HL fandom would the take that âall the companions could be bisexual at the very leastâ would be a hot take but here we are
#IM YAPPING AGAIN GRAHHHHHHHHHH#have you guys considered that the mc is not by default a woman#all the so called âtensionâ between seb and the mc#âexistsâ regardless of what your mc looks or acts like#though i donât believe it really exists outside of shipping goggles#thatâs okay though! people can do whatever they want!#itâs just weird for yall to be like âominis and sebastian are straight!!â and be obnoxious about it when we on the gay website#yall alienating the few gays in this fandom already itâs weirdo behavior#boxd chitchat#also shout out to the tired aro and ace folks in this fandom cause yall are troopers
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Feeling disconnected againâŚ
#im trying not to isolate myself but I been finding myself pulling away from folks again#maybe Iâm just tired but idk#like I been feeling fine and drawing helps as an outlet#but when I go a day without drawing I end up feeling terrible#and I been noticing I havenât been engaging a lot lately either which Iâm mad about#like Iâll scroll a bit maybe post art and asks and then disappear#but also I been feeling like Iâm gonna embarrass myself around people again#so if yâall have noticed me interacting less in servers or not as talkative in dms thatâs why#vent#I guess???#I mean itâs more of just me noticing this lately and wanted to let yâall know that I just been feeling off lately#ventish#đŹ chy chatter đŹ
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