#have you guys considered that the mc is not by default a woman
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boxdstars · 9 months ago
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Only in the HL fandom would the take that “all the companions could be bisexual at the very least” would be a hot take but here we are
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crazy-loca-blog · 3 years ago
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Personal thoughts on Surrender, Ch. 1-2
Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.
It’s been FOREVER since the last time I wrote one of these posts, but today I felt I had to. I just finished the first two chapters of Surrender and I have a lot of opinions, thoughts, feelings and questions that I need to put in order. There will be spoilers, so it’s up to you to keep reading if you haven’t played the chapters or if you're not VIP (no hard feelings!).
Before I start, I need to clarify a few things I think may have some influence in my opinion, so please take them into account:
1. I consider myself an asexual person (however, I'm not sex repulsed and I have no issues playing 30 diamonds scenes in Choices or with adult content in general, in fact, I'm very open minded!).
2. I have never watched or read the Fifty Shades trilogy (I have nothing against it, it's just that it has never caught my attention), so I have no idea about the similarities between the Surrender characters and Christian/Anastasia’s relationship.
Finally, please note that the text below the cut includes adult content, so by reading it you agree that you’re at least 18 years old.
I try to never judge a book before reading at least a couple of chapters because Choices writers tend to take their time when it comes to develop a story (or at least they did in the past). However, since the premise of Surrender was released, I had this weird gut feeling that something was not going to be okay. And nope, it wasn’t because of the BDSM concept and the fact that the book is based on the Fifty Shades trilogy (that was, in fact, destroyed by people who are into BDSM), but because the plot as a whole seemed a bit contradictory, to say the least. The idea of getting divorced because the MC’s husband had a dominatrix, only to discover that the MC herself may be into BDSM after meeting her divorce lawyer seemed… I don’t know… weird? messy? For some reason, it made no sense to me. And it only took me a few minutes to realize I wasn’t that wrong.
First of all, our MC (her default name is Isabel) not only catches her husband with a dominatrix, but she also had no idea that he was into BDSM until that moment. At first, I thought “dude, it’s not like you’re just dating her and you don’t trust her enough to tell her your darkest secret… she is your wife!”. And then I realized “how is it possible that Isabel never noticed anything wrong with him? I mean… not even a bruise? when was the last time she saw her husband naked?”. The communication and trust in that relationship was a disaster. They were going to divorce no matter what.
Immediately after this, the story jumps straight to the moment when we meet the only LI in this book: our divorce lawyer (I went with a guy; his default name is Reagan). And here is where I began to have more and more questions and to feel more and more confused and uncomfortable.
When Isabel meets Reagan, she is experiencing very different feelings: on one hand, she is mad, she has been betrayed and she is still in shock because of what she saw. On the other hand, not only she feels curiosity about BDSM (and she’s trying to figure out why she feels this way), but she also feels free and confused because of her new life as a divorced woman. So yeah, you can tell the MC is at an absolute vulnerable state!
Knowing that the girl was a mess, I don’t think Reagan’s reaction was the most appropriate. As soon as Isabel showed him some handcuffs as a proof of her husband’s betrayal, I began to feel that he was not only being extremely unprofessional, but also completely out of line. Why would he try to subtly seduce her and convince her to become his sub? Why would he even suggest the idea of her being into BDSM? You have just met the girl! She is your new client! She is getting divorced! You know she is all over the place! It was your first appointment! You should have asked why they were getting divorced and that was it! But by the end of their first meeting, he was already giving her orders. If you ask me, I think things are going way too fast for two people who only have a professional relationship with zero trust and zero chemistry on a personal level.
Unfortunately, there are no choices to “escape” or to try to make things go slower, and if you’re a sucker for slow burns as I am, this may kill your mood. Because no matter what you choose, every option will be sub/dom focused depending on if you’re playing as Reagan or as Isabel. The only thing you can control is how “strong” they are as dom/sub. You can’t run away from the different situations and even when Reagan promises Isabel they won’t do anything she doesn’t agree to, you still have no chance to simply say “no” if you don’t want to do some of the tasks that Reagan orders you to do. As a sub, Isabel will always agree, and as a dom, Reagan will always give orders.
To be honest, I don’t know if this book will be for me, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish this story, not even as a diamond farming adventure. I had never felt this uncomfortable when playing Choices books before. The Nanny Affair had some effect on me, but I only had to avoid certain scenes or choices and I was fine, I could perfectly play the book. However, there is no escape in Surrender. The fact that I can’t make my own choices and that I can’t control absolutely nothing in the story is a little frustrating, to the point that I feel as trapped by the narrative as my Isabel feels trapped by Reagan. This certainly won’t be a book for every player.
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catboy-lover-archive · 4 years ago
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Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah
-
MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
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Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
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Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
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Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
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MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
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Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
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MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
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(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
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MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
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*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
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MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
-
Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
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Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
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Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
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MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
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MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
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Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
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Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
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Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
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MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
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Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
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MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
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MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
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Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
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MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
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MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜���♀️🧜‍♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
-
MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
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Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
-
MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
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MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
-
MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
-
Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
-
MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
-
MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
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Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
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MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
-
Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
-
Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
-
MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
-
Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
-
Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
-
MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
-
MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
-
MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
-
MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
-
Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
-
Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
-
Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
-
MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
-
MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
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Anything (Chapter 6, Final Chapter) - Nik Ryder x f!MC
Summary: After surviving an attempt on her life, she discovers there are worse fates than dying. And they’re all ice cold.
Warnings for this chapter: implied (off-screen) N*FW, discussions of trauma and therapy, a short tid bit at the end involving animal violence/death, and plenty of fluff and other domestic stuff
Links to previous chapters: one // two // three // four // five
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One year later…
Nothing.
Nothing.
‘Everything.’ Leah thought fondly as she sleepily stared at the man sleeping next to her. Thin rays of golden light trailed through the spaces between the blinds of the window facing the bed, making the man in question flutter his eyes open. She smiled brightly and moved closer until she was snuggled close to him, and he lazily wrapped an arm around her.
“Too early…” Nik grumbled, pulling Leah closer to his chest with both arms. “Go back to sleep.”
“I don’t wanna get up either, but we gotta,” Leah said with her voice muffled against his bare chest. “We have things to do today.”
Leah giggled as Nik groaned, releasing her and rolling over on his other side. She learned quickly in the past year that he was not a morning person due to the frequency they have to take down the things that happen to go bump in the night. So she, who happened to be a morning person and seemingly full of boundless energy, became the default alarm clock (and a damn good one if she said so herself).
“Come on, sleepy head! Time to get up!” she declared, sitting up and letting the cool morning air hit her own exposed chest. Nik rolled back over and let his eyes trail appreciatively over her form.
“Well damn, you’ve convinced me.” Leah blushed at his comment and his eyes glued to her body. Besides the night she came back, only a few months prior she wouldn’t take her shirt off in front of him, self conscious about her scars being examined so thoroughly by someone she actually cared about. She briefly recalled the night she let him see them intimately, and the memory of him being so patient and tender with her made her melt. Leah playfully nudged him.
“Now is not the time for that; we have quite a day ahead.”
“I know, I know. But can’t a guy appreciate his woman on a fine sunny morning?” Nik grinned innocently and propped himself on one elbow, completely scarred abdomen in full view. Leah ran a hand through his soft but sticking-out-in-all-directions morning hair, smoothing it back into place somewhat.
“You can appreciate me as we get ready to leave.” With that, Leah jumped out of their bed and began looking through the closet. Nik got up after her and wrapped his arms around her, and Leah sighed, pretending to be exasperated.
“You’re gonna have to stop touching me, babe.”
Nik glided his rough, callused hands on her skin, and he nipped at her neck not-so-gently. “Not what you said last night, babe.”
Leah felt a shiver run up her spine as she turned around so they were face to face. She rested her arms on his shoulders and gazed up at him, a challenge in her eyes. “Oh yeah? I don’t recall any of that.”
“Need me to remind you, huh?” He pulled her even closer by the waist and brought his lips down to hers passionately, and she enthusiastically reciprocated. They kissed freely because there was nothing stopping them; that little apartment was their place. No monsters, no ghosts, nothing trying to kill them. And she relished these moments of peace.
“Mmm, I might remember something…” Leah pulled away slowly. She turned around with one of her hands grasping his behind her, leading him to the bathroom. “But we’re on a schedule. Come remind me in the shower?”
When she turned around to look at him, his face was split into a bright smile as he hurried after her.
==============================================
Half an hour later, the two Nighthunters sat at the small kitchen table, both dressed and ready for the day. In the past year since Leah moved in with Nik, the apartment had changed significantly. Besides the fact that Nik was more motivated to do upkeep on the place, Leah put her own touches. What once were stacks of potentially cursed books and tomes scattered on the floor were now neatly placed in a modern glass bookshelf and organized alphabetically. All of the weapons were cleaned and polished and displayed neatly. She even found pictures of Nik and Elijah from when he was younger and framed them, and the misty eyes she got from him when he saw what she did was all the thanks she needed. He would freely admit that she made everything in his life better, and she could finally say that she was home. That place was now their home, warm and welcoming.
Leah hummed contentedly as she stirred the cinnamon in her coffee like she usually did, and Nik perused the newspaper casually.
“I still don’t see the appeal of cinnamon in coffee,” the man next to her said, looking at her cup. “It doesn’t even dissolve all the way.”
“That itself adds to the flavor,” she replied, taking a sip. “I don’t know why you like yours black; do you have to be so dark all the time?”
Nik rolled his eyes, sipping on his own cup of black coffee. “What can I say, darkness is my one defining personality trait.”
“That, and running away from unicorns, ya giant softie.”
“They’re vicious!”
“Vicious and adorable!”
Leah laughed, and Nik couldn’t help but chuckle with her. “Vicious and adorable, huh? Now those are your defining personality traits.”
“Aww you think I’m cute, Ryder?” Leah cooed, smiling coquettishly at him.
“Why you think I keep you around, Mendoza?” Nik replied, using her last name instead of the usual nicknames (rook, babe, sugar, darlin’, etc.). It was rare that he’d use her first name, and Leah was used to responding to a variety of pet names.
“Wow and here I thought you liked me for my mind,” Leah teased. “Or my magic glowy hands.”
At the mention of her powers, the atmosphere suddenly became more serious; they both remembered why it was a special day, besides it being the anniversary of her return to New Orleans. Nik reached over and intertwined their fingers before speaking. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
Leah squeezed his hand and nodded. “Yes. It’s been a year now and I’ve made a lot of progress and stayed away for too long; it’s time.”
“Say the word and we’ll go.”
==============================================
After putting on their signature jackets (and sneaking a few kisses here and there), the pair got into Nik’s car and drove off. They held hands the entire drive and the entire walk through the woods and the open field, and Leah took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. She felt like a specimen on a Petri dish again under the scrutiny of the cathedral guarding Lamrian.
“Hey…” Nik began, bringing their intertwined fingers up to his lips to kiss her hand. “Just remember, I’m here for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Leah smiled radiantly. “I know. Thank you.”
A Fae guard approached them from the shadows, and he was as dutiful and tight lipped as Leah remembered from the year before. She waved nervously at him.
“Uh, hey, I know it’s been a while but I’m—”
“I remember.” He bowed deeply and stepped aside, gesturing for them to walk into the cathedral. “Welcome home, daughter of Lamrian.”
Leah and Nik walked into the cathedral, which promptly turned into a familiar grand throne room. Leah could see Lady Thalissa writing on an ornate ledger. She turned back to Nik, who gave her an encouraging nod.
“Go on, then. I’ll be here.”
Leah steadied her breathing and stepped forward towards her stepmother. At the sound of her footsteps, Thalissa looked up from her work.
“Leah…” she whispered, surprise on her Fae features. She immediately cast aside her quill and dashed over, wrapping Leah in a warm hug. Leah breathed in her sweet-pea perfume, instantly feeling comfort.
“I’m sorry I was away for so long. After everything...I needed some time,” Leah apologized, looking her stepmother in the eyes.
Thalissa squeezed her hand. “Do not apologize, my darling. I understand the need for solitude in the midst of grief. Losing my greatest love, losing my son...I could hardly speak to another soul for months.”
Leah looked down in shame. “I hope you and the citizens of Lamrian got my apology. I never meant to disrupt your lives so much.”
Thalissa tilted her chin up, and she smiled softly with tears shining in her eyes. “There are no apologies necessary. Even though we are not bound by blood, I consider you my daughter. Oh how I’ve missed you; the sun is now shining on my heart.”
Leah smiled back, her eyes also filling with tears. “I missed Lamrian and everything in it. I...I was actually able to access my magick a year ago and can do a few things.”
“My dear Elric wanted to teach you Fae magick,” Thalissa began, her expression betraying the scantest hint of surprise at hearing that she could use magick in a significant way. “I would keep that promise for him, should you wish it.”
Leah smiled impishly. “Will you teach me how to make grimfire?”
Thalissa let out a surprised laugh, pinching her cheek affectionately. “Let’s begin with the basics.”
She turned and drew a glowing portal into the starry fields of the Fae Realm. She stepped into the portal and gestured for Leah to join her. Leah looked back at Nik, hesitating for a moment on the border between her two worlds. He gave her a small wave.
“Don’t be gone too long, all right? You and I have a date with a rampaging ghoul later.”
Leah visibly relaxed, knowing that her home in the mortal world wouldn’t leave once she stepped into the Fae world. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Taking a deep breath, she walked through the shining portal, joining Thalissa. The portal closed behind them as she inhaled the smells around her.
“Maybe Cal was onto something...it does smell different than the human world,” Leah mused, taking in everything around her as they walked.
“I take it your friends have been helping you adjust to your new life?”
Leah grinned. “Definitely. You remember Cal, Katherine, and Vera? And that man with me was Nik, my partner.”
Thalissa smiled genuinely. “Of course! Such a nice group, and that man is clearly enamored with you.”
“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” she replied, shaking her head in disbelief. “After Elric died, I just...I ran away. I couldn’t take it and I was destroying myself. It took a friend flying all the way to Wyoming and my father to appear to me for me to come to my senses.”
“Ah, yes. My darling also came to visit me shortly after he passed,” Thalissa said, a dreamy look on her face. Leah took a good look at her and noticed even more fine lines on her face in the starry lighting of the open field. “I could hardly function, but remembering that he was always watching me helped. And your message gave me hope that you would one day truly return.”
“And I’m here,” Leah corroborated. “It took a lot of group therapy and grief counseling with my friend Katherine, who’d also lost someone. Things weren’t suddenly all better just because I moved, but they’re getting there. I got a new life by giving my old one away, and I don’t regret that for one moment.”
Thalissa squeezed her hand. “Wise words from such a young one. You’re right; it will take time to heal this hurt, both personally and for our people. But I’m happy I can have my daughter with me now. Oh, and I almost forgot: Cassie will be so happy to see you too.”
“She’s been with you this entire time?” Thalissa nodded and Leah smiled radiantly, remembering her perrikin.
Leah’s heart had never felt so full that day as they continued to talk and Thalissa taught her the basics under the magickal sky. As she said her goodbyes later with promises to return for more lessons and to engage the people of Lamrian at a later date, and as she and Nik (and Katherine) hunted that night, Leah took it all in with a huge smile on her face. To think that she was once stuck in a dead end job in Wyoming and no knowledge of who she truly was. It had been a life-changing year, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.
==============================================
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.
.
.
.
In an unnamed part of the bayou, two female figures cloaked in black hoods stood side by side. Fireflies buzzed around, the only source of light in the night. The one with many faces and even more memories of time spoke first.
“The thrice-cursed son finally figured out it was I who hired him. He was not pleased when he confronted me today. Shame it took him so long; mortals are unfortunately so slow.”
The woman next to her, who did not have quite as many faces, scoffed in response. “You think that’s bad? She still thinks it was a coincidence that her dimwit friend and dead father showed up on the same night!”
The Fate turned to her, her face suddenly wrinkled and full of anger. “What did I tell you about using your magick for things like this?”
The woman rolled her chocolate brown eyes. “Cassiopeia did a real number on her by sending that monster. Things were going to get worse if I didn’t step in!”
“You forget, Jacqueline, that I am the only one who can foresee. This is my final warning not to meddle in which you do not know!”
With that, the Fate evaporated away, leaving her alone with her thoughts. The witch silently walked away eventually, and in the process walked by a giant dead alligator. She shook her head at the site and disappeared into the shadows.
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A/N: Anddd that’s it, folks! At least for this story. Surprise, I managed to finish it within 2019! I’ll see you all when I’m well under way my next Nightbound series. Thanks again for reading and I hope you have an amazing start to the new year 💗💗💗 
My tag list will be in a comment because I had to bring my laptop in for repair, and my iPad makes it too difficult to do the tags in the post itself.
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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago
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Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 4
• Hello guys! I’m trying to finish this early because I’m shifting house (not too far from where I’m already living, and closer to kiddo’s nursery! 😁). Fingers crossed I can finish it prior to us shifting.
• Before I begin, I feel I must apologize for neglecting to place a trigger warning for discussing infertility, considering I posted screenshots of Hana’s scene referencing that last chapter and spoke at length about it. The people who have discussed it on my posts have been unfailingly kind and sensitive in their approach to speaking about it, and I failed to display the same sensitivity. I will make sure I don’t repeat that mistake in the future.
Content Warning: The end of this QT will feature a discussion on last week’s Hana scene in the doctor’s office, so TW for discussions on infertility.
• Screenshot Credits:
@pixieferry for Hana + the Abhirio YouTube channel
@thefirstcourtesan + the BizzysChoices YouTube channel for Drake
@boneandfur + Abhirio YouTube channel for Maxwell
• I’m also halfway through a QT for Book 1 Chapter 5. Thought I’d revisit the original series while I was at it. What do you guys think?? If you’re interested do mention if you want to be tagged! You can check out my QTs for the first four chapters from my Masterlist, linked on my bio 😀
• Short chapter, this. I’m pretty sure all the deep digging into history etc will happen idk in Texas. Coz Texas is where Drake’s maternal home is and this entire series - TRR Book 2 onwards - has just been a massive Drake’s-ass-kissing exercise for the writers, let’s be honest. But at least right now, we will get a feel of what the rivals who want to corner us into an alliance look like, sound like, and want.
• Title: Courting Crowns
Does this chapter alone need an alternative title? Does it really?? You might as well rename the entire series no, since just one LI seems to matter. Call it The Grumpy Commoner’s Pub Trail instead (@callmetippytumbles came up with this phrase in an ask on Lily Spencer once).
• I know I sound bitter but how else do you expect me to sound when the writers are THIS blatant about their favouritism. And tbh they’ve been doing that Book 2 onwards.
• So the chapter begins where we left off - the MC meets up with all the LIs in the solarium. They confirm that the people responsible were the paparazzi, and the angle they’re trying to spin is that the Queen of Cordonia/Duchess of Valtoria is an irresponsible woman who is somehow magically pregnant (even in a Hana playthrough!) AND being careless. Thank you Cordonian paps, I’m sure you know my body better than I do.
• Madeleine speaks of doing “damage control” while Bertrand “gallavants away” to Texas as if we were never busy doing damage control for her during the Unity Tour.
• LMAO @ all the responses to “I’ll show them how serious I am about producing an heir”. Especially the Maxwell MC 😅
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(Screenshots: @pixieferry for Hana, @boneandfur for Maxwell and BizzysChoices YouTube channel for Drake)
• Liam we know that shy retiring gentleman act is the biggest sham there is. I’ve read your diamond scene.
• Alright so now we prep for the Ball. MC will oversee party arrangements, Drake will check with Mara on security, Hana will help with decor, and Maxwell will make sure there is plenty of bubblyyyy, wiggly letters and all. No idea what Liam is doing. Mysterious King things, I suppose.
• It’s now the night of the Ball and Hana (thank God) is helping us get ready, having already gotten ready herself first. What’s interesting (and not in a good way) is WHAT she’s wearing:
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To your left is a screenshot from my playthrough, where Hana is wearing her beloved handmade traditional outfit. To your right is a screenshot from a playthrough @thefirstcourtesan did, in which Hana wears the understated LBD she wore for the MC’s bachelorette in Vegas (whether she was the bride or not). The interesting bit is that I bought the scene where Hana got her outfit back, and @thefirstcourtesan didn’t do it for that particular playthrough.
What’s more, is that I noticed in the previous book…that while the outfit on the left was an option during her wedding, it definitely wasn’t an option for the final ball in Book 3 if you didn’t pay to secretly take it from Lorelei - Hana pretty much chooses her costume gala flower gown in that case.
Are you telling me that if I don’t buy to get her own handmade outfit back, you’ve basically taken it out of her hands???
I’ll get into why this could actually be so messed up later.
• Even if Hana doesn’t have this particular outfit, why does she have to go for something so toned-down?? This is something she last wore (by default) to a bachelorette party! Why couldn’t they choose to put her in her Costume Gala gown instead? That would have worked for such a huge formal ball. At the very least it would have worked better than her LBD.
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Not gonna lie, this annoyed me a fair bit. One, could it really have been that hard to do some of the work for this, MC? Like I said in my previous QT, the MC still doesn’t seem to take much effort to read up or ask questions about what’s going on, however powerful a figure she is. Two, I am done, done, with how much work Hana has to be doing on the MC’s behalf without getting much credit in return. She’s been doing this since Book 1. In the first two books I could somewhat understand - the MC was new, she had no idea where to begin looking, Bertrand and Maxwell weren’t exactly the most efficient support system to integrating into Cordonian society, everything was unfamiliar. That’s now not the case. She is a powerful, influential figure who has all the resources possible to understand the situation if she really wanted to. But she is still waiting on people to spoonfeed the information to her, and a friend like Hana tends to get very, very little in return.
• When I first saw this scene on my Liam playthrough, I was wondering how the Hana equivalent would look. I mean, she was dealt with a pretty heavy emotional blow the previous day. Would it still weigh on her? Would the MC check in to find out how she was doing?
Nothing of the sort happened. It was the same scene, except perhaps for a reference to Hana being a duchess. So I thought, well, maybe since it’s a heavy conversation, they’ll probably integrate it into the diamond scene, right? After all, I’d just seen a Drake scene that dealt with his reasons for agreeing to Liam’s request. Surely Hana would be given a similar courtesy?
• Okay so Hana’s research yields these results regarding our guests:
- King Bradshaw and Queen Isabella of Auvernal: Bradshaw is the kind who likes to get his way, apparently, and Isabella likes people with a sense of humour.
- Queen Amalas of Monterisso: is mysterious. That is all.
- Other Leaders: from distant countries, basically just coming to the part to have a good time.
• I think this is interesting in terms of the sheer variety of people we’re needing to handle in one party alone. All of them with different personalities, aims and agendas. Unlike Cordonia, which operates on particular codes of conduct that we are now used to, we have to pick up the subtle cues Hana gives us to figure out what works for which royal. We’re definitely being kept on our toes this chapter, and I like when that happens.
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Ooo blingy. Very nice. Green and gold is an amazing combination, the applique on the gown is beautiful, the illusion neckline is nice, and I like seeing small pearls weaved into such a fancy outfit! Honestly we should have had something similar to this in Fydelia last book, rather than being expected to waltz in that green minidress. The only downer is that Hana’s free outfit COULD have been just as opulent but they opted to dress her down instead. And that’s not the first time they force her to dress down for occasions where she could dress like a star.
• The guys are dressed up for the occasion too. Liam in his official outfit with the medals and sash, Drake in his grey suit, Maxwell in his formal black suit sans tie. Only if you’re with Hana, do you not see your LI in their full regalia at the stairs (since we already took a good look at her at the boutique). Whichever LI you are married to (if male), you will greet at the stairs, entering the hall with them.
• Following your entry, you and your LI split up to meet and talk to your guests separately. There’s not a lot we see of our LIs’ interactions, as this chapter is mostly focussed on the MC’s first impression of these royals.
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So you have three characters established as the most powerful (Bradshaw and Isabella, and Amalas. I recognize the sprite for Amalas as being similar-ish to Vasquez’s girlfriend in The Senior, but with different hair and styling. I read somewhere that Bradshaw’s sprite is also from another character in another series?), one character that’s there as a nod to another series (Princess Marguerite from The Heist: Monaco, who I like to believe is living her best life and happily romancing Miranda), and the other ‘distant kingdom’ characters for which they used sprites from other books (Erin from HSS, Khaan from PM, and Scarlett from VoS).
• Rather than going chronologically, I’m going to first go from the royals that were added more for extra flavour and a party atmosphere, to the royals the narrative actually focuses on:
- King Eirik: Very easily to please. Just remember the guy’s name. I’m not exactly sure he’s used to that (or Khaan Mousavi is on the run from Eros again and wants to make sure the MC won’t suss out who he really is).
- Lerato and Lesidi: So you can choose to please either sister, because each of them have different opinions on what matters. (I’m guessing Scarlett decided to give her brother in Washington some tough competition. “You’re contesting for a Senate seat? Well sucks to be you because I’m going make myself a goddamn princess!!” At the very least I know she upgraded from Tanner). Lerato can’t stand Constantine (like normal people), and is appreciative of efforts that better the lives of Cordonians. Lesidi is younger (you’re supposed to be in school Erin!!) and really just loves a good party. So as long as you move away from the chest-beating “Cordonia’s strength” response, and opt for either a noble cause or just plain good fun, your royal reputation will be fine.
(Honestly the least PB can do is replace Scarlett’s S necklace with something else if she’s just going to be a convenient sprite. Or give all her doppelgangers S names, idk).
- Marguerite: She is an out-and-out romantic and that’s definitely the vibe they’re going for here. She’s also amazing and sweet with the MC, unconditionally offering friendship and advice. You don’t get reputation points with her since she’s lovely to you anyway, but you do get to ask her what her opinion is on either Bradshaw and Isabella, you and your LI as a couple, or the other royals. The answer to the first question seems the most important, hinting at a future role perhaps. She warns us to be careful around them.
- Bradshaw and Isabella: The approach for these two is interesting. I hated the characters (esp Bradshaw, which I’m sure was what the narrative wants me to be doing) and their acting like I’m PANTING to marry off my unborn child to one of their twins - but the overall scene with them I found interesting. Bradshaw seems to operate on extremes - either you grovel in front of him or you aggressively push back, he likes both approaches. He doesn’t seem to have an appreciation for diplomacy and would you fight with him rather than give him a neutral response. Isabella likes seeing a sense of humour in people, and seems to enjoy it if you tell her that “when no one’s trying to kill me, this place isn’t so bad”. In any case, the only way to keep up with both is to take turns choosing answers that will interest them. I found the guessing quite challenging and fun, not so much the insinuations that I would arrange my child’s marriage before they’re even conceived.
- Amalas: Perhaps the most intriguing, and that’s probably on purpose. They’re clearly highlighting her as the underdog in this court, the mysterious Queen no one knows about (although the Black Widow reference does hint at her at least being suspected of killing her husband? Since the female black widow spider is famous for eating the male after mating). She makes a persuasive case about how Monterisso and Cordonia are “cut from the same cloth”, are both small (how many climates and landscapes does Monterisso have) countries with amazing wealth, that Auvernal wants to push into an unequal alliance with the promise of their military prowess. Amalas’ suggestion is to join hands so they can find strength together and push back against the kind of intimidation Bradshaw is showing them.
• Queen Eleanor was from Auvernal? So Liam is half-Cordonian and half-Auvernese? That must be interesting. I wonder if we will possibly see more about these foreign relations during Constantine’s time and what it must have been like. Also why do I hear practically nothing about Constantine from this exchange? They mention Eleanor, but refer to only her - especially when they’re talking about her hospitality and treating them with respect. There’s nothing much to make out of it yet (though you have at least one other person openly expressing a negative view of him), but it’s an interesting point to note nonetheless.
• QUEEN ESTHER NOW HAS A NEW CORGI!!! Since the first was named Joy, I thought I’d name the lady corgi Hope xD
• I know the narrative is writing Amalas as this mysterious, seductive figure (it’s working on me, okay! 🙈) the underdog and the cool person that everyone wants to know and be friends with - but all said and done, she advocates these bizarre ideas to make kids have betrothals on their cribs too. She’s just a little more persuasive and a little less heavy-handed about it. So I have my doubts still.
• It’s also kind of interesting that there is no specified sex given for Amalas’ child? Is customization possible for both her child and ours?
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(Screenshots: Abhirio’s YouTube channel for Hana and Maxwell, BizzysChoices YouTube channel for Drake)
Aww @ all the LIs’ reactions to the new corgi!
• So…the MC comes out of these interactions with multiple nobles and royals either exhausted, frustrated or worried, and the LI comforts her in whatever way they can, reassuring her that things will go well. She can either feel majorly annoyed about having to deal with so much royalty, be weirded out by the kind of attention the baby she hasn’t even (possibly) conceived yet is getting, or she’s afraid the alliances won’t happen. Either way, the LI is there to help her, and suggests they sneak out and spend a little time together before dealing with the guests again.
• The basic format for this scene is very, very similar for three LIs: Liam, Hana and Maxwell. The MC agrees to sneak out, the LI takes her to the bedroom (or in Liam’s case, they have an tiny extra scene where Princess Marguerite is passing them while they’re making out in the corridor). They begin a fun, sexy game of their choosing, which the MC enjoys and which eventually leads to them sleeping together. This is followed by a short conversation after which the LI and MC go back to the hall.
This is the breakdown for each LI:
- Liam: After almost being caught red-handed making out in the corridor by Princess Marguerite, Liam and his wife make it to the bedroom. Liam plays Twenty Questions with her, quizzing her on details about the rulers she met. For each answer she gets right, he gives her a kiss (well…he kisses her even otherwise because she is impossible to resist). Once they’ve slept together, the couple then briefly discuss both their honeymoon period and then the decision they will need to make regarding alliances. The last bit is spoken about in an extremely vague manner.
- Maxwell: Immediately after the MC accepts, the two enter their bedroom and begin to do a little roleplay. Maxwell pretends he came into the bar where the MC worked alone, and that she isn’t a waitress (the player gets to choose her role: a spy, a museum curator or a jewel thief). Once they’ve slept together, they chat a little before going back to the guests, and one of the things the MC can opt to mention is that Maxwell “will be a great dad” even if he’s a fun uncle type. Oh, like that conversation Maxwell and his MC never got to have back on their honeymoon? 🤔
- Hana: Immediately after the MC accepts, the two enter their bedroom and do what the MC calls “an ice-cream strip game”. Either one has to taste an ice cream and correctly guess the flavour, and if they don’t get it right, they have to shed an item of their clothing. This includes fun flavours like bubblegum, rum-and-raisin and lemon sorbet. Hana then heats things up by running a little ice cream down the MC’s neck instead of letting her taste. Once they’ve slept together, the couple chat for a bit, after which the MC thanks Hana for everything she’s been doing for her. Hana is sweet and humble and the MC can optionally tell her how incredible she is but somehow the events of the previous day never come up (again, more on this later).
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(Screenshots: @pixieferry for Hana and @boneandfur for Maxwell)
• HOWEVER, not only is the format of Drake’s diamond scene different, but so is the location! Drake’s diamond scene begins with the couple wanting a moment alone - the MC even takes a bottle along and there is some light hearted teasing about how he isn’t the only person in the relationship who drinks. This is followed by a four minute long makeout scene somewhere in the foyer (to give you an idea of how much time that took - Liam’s corresponding makeout scene lasts barely a minute), and the MC - to get them real privacy - takes him to that HUGE kinda dilapidated area that we once took Hana to, in Book 3…presumably to ravish each other and then watch the sunset. Which is exactly what they do.
Shortly after this, Drake and the MC enjoy the sight of the sun setting, and then discuss their future and one important aspect of Drake’s past - his changing attitudes towards nobility. The MC at this point gets to ASK him why he agreed to Liam’s proposal. He has this to say:
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(Screenshot from @thefirstcourtesan)
I mean…that moment wasn’t exactly OOC only for Drake. Hana and Maxwell pretty much would have had the same questions too, but there hardly are even given the space to ask those questions. Yet somehow the team had the time and the energy to delve into just one character?
Drake gets to expand on what seeing Savannah’s family makes him feel. Drake gets to speak about his loyalty to his friend and his changing attitude to the nobility. He is lauded by the public and the press for doing and saying the bare minimum. And now, he gets an LI scene that allows him to speak at length, while the other LIs are restricted to maybe a few lines.
• I really do feel conflicted about Drake’s big scene about his loyalty to his best friend,and his issues about nobility, happening in an undercroft where Hana was once supposed to have her own big scene about family and selfhood, last book - one that we never got. Because the writers didn’t care enough.
• We now return to the Ball, and after mingling for a while, the MC gets to see what almost everyone else is doing.
King Bradshaw is bemused by Maxwell’s love for dance offs and desire to be a court jester (I know Brad but that’s basically what the writers reduced him to).
Kiara LOVES Queen Amalas’ pantsuit because it is “elegant, yet bold” and a pleased Amalas tells Kiara she should try wearing one (I’d love to see how that looks honestly 😃).
Marguerite is talking to Drake and Hana. Drake isn’t very happy that someone besides him is monopolizing this conversation and Hana is LOVING IT (same, sis, saaaaame).
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@ Drake: This is literally your life now. You knew you would have to deal with a press meet last chapter and you knew there would be a goddamned ball where you’d have to do networking this chapter. Be prepared from now on and stop complaining, Jesus.
@ Hana: I love it when Hana trolls people, and I feel it she doesn’t get to do it often enough. Remember her impressions of Drake in Fydelia during Unity Tour. They should let her do one for everyone in the group. Please let Hana troll people more. Let her troll all of Cordonia!!
• The night winds down, and we get to see who we have impressed and who we haven’t. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Isabella’s attitude towards you hinges on your sense of humour, Bradshaw on your ability to push back and fight for what you want. Amalas on your uniqueness and that je ne sais quoi feel that seems to set you apart from the others. The other royals on different aspects: either your ambition and desire to serve the people, or the ability to let loose and have a good time! We get to know all of this on their way to the door.
• I’m glad Olivia didn’t show up here. Can you imagine just how mad she’d get if she heard all this nonsense about having marriage alliances done before these children were even born?? She’d suffered in a situation very much like that, and I think she’d be damned to let what happened to her happen to another kid. You’d need to hold her back from using an axe against these people.
• Whatever the outcome is, the MC expresses her worries to the LI, the LI comforts her and then suggests they make a road trip to America since Savannah and Bertrand are getting married there (another trip…seriously??? Please for the love of God just stay in the country/duchy and properly RULE it for once!!).
• Next set of chapters is clearly going to be taken over by the Walker family, and we’ll talk and hear about nothing else for the next couple of weeks.
General Thoughts:
• …why is no one asking where the paparazzi came from? Our paps? Their paps? Which magazine was it. Why are you so intent on making your characters look so stupid PB. They’re so stupid. My head hurts.
• Why are they saying I was in a hot tub I never saw a hot tub in that villa.
• I know some questions should be unanswered for future plot…but…you don’t think a SINGLE person would be wondering who sent them in the first place? Considering the last time photos of us were taken without our consent it was pretty much from someone who had an agenda?
• So…over the weekend I tried to do a fail playthrough of my own for Book 1 (I was dying guys I was dying. So much secondhand embarrassment. How did I survive that 😭). And since I was doing this so soon after I finished this chapter, I kinda ended up making parallels between Queen Regina’s first meeting with the suitors in Chapter 5 there, and how especially the Bradshaw/Isabella/Amalas meetings went here.
I remember distinctively that displaying a “sense of humour” was actively discouraged (Regina even says “fools use laughter to cover up their own ignorance” in the same tea party), and how highly qualities like stoicism and diplomacy are held in esteem. Bradshaw and Isabella are the antithesis to that (Bradshaw also shows slight similarities with Regina in terms of liking a challenge. During the croquet game in Book 1, Regina makes it clear that she “detests those who don’t have the stomach to stand up to me”. Bradshaw, too, seems to have more respect for an MC who stands up to him…but in perhaps a more patronizing way)
Interestingly, if the press has labelled you “Mystery Woman” in Book 1, Regina points out that “no one can remain a mystery long when they’re a public servant and must attend to the people”. Yet it is almost impossible for Hana - whose research skills are clearly on another level - to find any information about Queen Amalas.
• Tbh I kinda love that shift. By branching out and navigating through the landscape not just in but around Cordonia, the MC gets a broader view of what politics is like around this area. She gets to read the other person’s cues and behaviour, compare it with the information she has been given, and make an informed decision on what would work right with them. I hated the overall presumptuousness from the main players, but I definitely enjoyed the dynamics.
• I wonder if we will see Regina again at some point! I'm doing my Book 1 playthrough and she's kinda growing on me this time.
• The diamond scene was good on its own…until I started checking the other routes. And that’s been the case more and more often with TRR. You start out thinking “great, a nice love scene with teasing and seduction and your LI showing you just how good they are in bed, with some tender moments afterwards”. Then you look at other playthroughs and realize (if you’re a Liam stan) that their scenes were shorter and there was less to talk about. THEN you look at a playthrough like Drake’s…and find a completely different backdrop, a completely different format and an issue that his fans were complaining about being addressed. In detail. I’m a Liam stan, there is at least a little more I know I’m going to get (besides my LI being happy and not making stupid decisions in a playthrough where he is single). Hana and Maxwell get practically nothing, the writers aren’t even pretending to scrape the bottom of the barrel to give them content.
• If they’d really bothered to even this out, they could have used the end of these scenes to answer important questions. Liam could maybe tell us exactly what his experience of dealing with these kings and queens have been like, since he has had more experience with them in terms of diplomatic relations. He could speak about how it feels to have these sort of powerful, invasive figures make constant demands on him, and how that would weigh on him. After all these are the kinds of people he might have had to work with ever since Leo abdicated. Or what about Maxwell? In the livestream the writers claimed that he “grew into fatherhood”…How? Where? Why was this journey not worth showing? This diamond scene could have focused on what his turning point into that growth was, especially since Drake got that space to talk about it.
• I got two very, very bitter reminders of that horrid scene they gave Hana in Book 3 Chapter 15, in this chapter itself. One was - as I told you - the fact that if you didn’t buy this scene (that wasn’t even worth TWO diamonds, much less the 15 you could spend on it), her handmade outfit disappears after the wedding. She doesn’t have it as an option for the ball in the finale, she can’t wear it this chapter and is instead made to dress herself in a very muted style (which honestly kind of reminds me of how she was constantly treated like the “wedding planner” or “bridesmaid” rather than the bride, at her own damn wedding).
I assumed, this entire time, that even if you didn’t get the outfit in Book 3…the improved relationship with Lorelei shortly after would mean she’d get her dress back (since the reason she had to take away Hana’s clothes from her didn’t even exist anymore). Why would a Hana who HAS this outfit (at least up until the wedding) be coded as no longer owning it or considering to wear it if you didn’t buy that scene? I see no reason why it would be around and she’d not want to wear it. Her love for that outfit wouldn’t lessen just because she wasn’t running all around Valtoria to retrieve it.
So what should I assume? That Hana and her parents maybe made peace with each other but Lorelei still took her most precious item of clothing anyway? And now Hana doesn’t even get to wear it now for special occasions to represent her other home? She has to opt for an outfit she wore for a bachelorette while her wife/friend is (optionally) dressed to the nines? Just so you can stroke your ego about how this shitty diamond scene from the last book will now be of some use?
I mean…just the fact that getting back together with her parents but not getting stuff that is HERS back…I don’t even know what to say.
• TW: I speak about Hana’s scene with the doctor from last chapter again here.
• The other reminder of what a trainwreck that scene was, was definitely Drake’s diamond scene, which takes place in the same secret spot. If you didn’t buy the scene, then this was a place the MC just discovered, and if you did, she mentions seeing this place with Hana. I recall, while buying this scene, waiting and waiting for Hana to say more about that grandmother who made her dress with her, or about how her views on her parents have changed…or literally anything. But nothing much actually happened rather than a very shallow conversation and a kiss if you were her fiancée. Now in the same spot, I see Drake get a special scene with special dialogues exploring facets of his journey (and by now I’ve completely lost count of the number of times I’ve seen this happen). In the meantime, Hana gets a scene where her MC does the barest minimum - saying ‘thank you’ for all the preparations Hana’s been making the last few days. Which brings me to my next point.
• You can’t expect me to believe that two women who love each other, and who are supposed to have supported each other through difficult situations (this is true for Hana, and for the MC on the few occasions the story allowed her to)…would simply return to normal? After receiving the kind of news Hana got in the previous chapter??? That the woman going through this painful experience wouldn’t struggle with it? That her partner would not bother to check on her? (and at no point does the MC do so in this chapter). One could always argue that perhaps they could leave such a discussion for future chapters…but, as I said in detail the previous QT, the writing team has had a track record of choosing to never address very serious issues related to Hana’s own story, to the point where they were on the verge of encouraging a possible romance with someone who harmed her in her single playthroughs. If they were able to make Drake’s scene so different, why couldn’t they do the same to Hana considering her own, self-confessed, emotional state last chapter in her playthrough? Instead in that particular scene, she thanks her for everything, even referencing the same doctor’s appointment where they got this news - and it sounds patronizing considering the fact that Hana’s pain is (again!!) seen as not important even to speak about. Why couldn’t the MC at least ask after her and see how she’s feeling, and comfort her in this scene?
And if that wasn’t going to happen - why force that situation on Hana at all??
• One thing we need to keep in mind is that even when one DOES NOT want children, being told that you don’t even have that choice, or option, can be painful and in many cases traumatizing as well. I had two incredible reblogs last chapter that spoke about this in detail, from people who experienced similar situations, and I feel that unless a writer is ready to commit to that storyline and route, unless they’re prepared to write it sensitively rather than brush it under the carpet, they should not place that character in that situation. This is extremely offensive given their track record.
• This is why, when they say bullshit like “oh we would have preferred to do separate books for each LI but ended up with no choice but one book” (I’m paraphrasing), I find it so hard to believe the team. No one was forcing them to create the issues for Hana that they did. Those were narrative choices they made…and when you make such choices it’s YOUR responsibility to resolve them properly, otherwise don’t go there! Don’t have Madeleine bully her - or Olivia still mock her after they’ve become friends - if you’re simply going to allow these white (let’s never forget this. The white women in this book get away with all kinds of bullshit) women to get away with it with little-to-no pushback from Hana herself. Don’t force her into an emotionally abusive parent-child relationship if your only resolution for that is they say sorry a couple times and still have the same toxic expectations of her. Don’t rob her of her choice to physically carry a child if in the next chapter you will force her to act like nothing happened. I doubt ANY of these writers would care enough to actually write separate routes/books for anyone other than the LI they’ve always been pandering to.
• Apparently 3 writers in the team claim they would date Hana. Mmhmm. Sure. I can so see that in the way you write her, team TRH, I can so see that.
• I…love some of the characters in this series, and they’re the reason I’m still sticking around and trying to make these write-ups. But I won’t lie that it is exhausting, and frustrating, to keep highlighting these issues and barely be heard - and if the series keeps this up…I might not be able tho sustain the energy to keep writing these. I hope that doesn’t happen…but it is a very real possibility and I think I should let you guys know in case things do go that way.
• Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen - but if it does, I’ll still be working on my Book 1 QTs (my failplay brought up some insights that I found interesting!) and there’s plenty of fanfic ideas that I’d love to get back into. Let’s see how things turn out!
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empressthebee · 5 years ago
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I probably should have quit while I was ahead. Instead I decided to bulldozer on through the rest of Takane's route. Lesson learned, always trust your gut feeling.
Mild Spoilers.
Takane's route is just one of those, where you expect the writing will improve as the story progresses. Not only did it not improve, the quality actually declined. Twenty five episodes and only two characters appeared with a sprite. Takane himself, and a close coworker/friend. Of which, the latter was so forgettable I've forgotten her name.
Other than that, the story all twenty-five episodes revolve around your character and Takane. That's it. Just you two and a handful of settings. Now, I consider myself a staunch MC defender aside from a few pet peeves of mine. But this MC was trying very hard to be sympathetic, but didn't really gain my sympathy. I guess it's because when it comes down to it the word 'Love' is far too easily thrown around by her. Despite Takane burning her multiple times.
Even the Super Happy Ending left me wondering whether or not the MC could actually trust his motives.
But let's start over from the beginning. I'm going to assume you already know the general plot for Destind Mr. Almost Right. That said, the MC matches 100% compatability with Takane.
For her it's a chance to heal old wounds? Find some closure? Reminisce about a bittersweet first love? The point is the MC really doesn't know. (A recurring theme in this route that makes the MC seem obsessed with Takane.)
For Takane it's to have sex with the MC. (Seriously, he spends more than half the route trying to convince the MC to have sex with him.) It goes from awkward to uncomfortable to completely annoying very quickly. What's strange is at first Takane pretends to be this sweet perfect guy from the MC's memory. (A persona she forced on him by never really even trying to see or understand him the real him.) Then quite suddenly dropping the ruse to invite her for a casual hookup.
The problem is, despite Takane telling nay showing the MC who he really is. She keeps on trying to change him. Trying to find a way to get him to fall for her seriously. The pacing is far to fast, the character growth is non existent and the romance isn't believable. Mostly because it doesn't have enough time to properly develop.
Throughout the route Takane's burns the MC at least three times, not including an earlier incident from six years ago. After he reveals his true nature, every single interaction with the MC makes me question his motives. It's because of this, even the Super Happy Ending leaves me feeling very skeptical. It just feels like Takane's latest convoluted ploy and attempt to get the MC to have sex with him.
What's worse is the MC at that point seems quite willing to do so. I don't understand how she can believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He is quite an actor. I will say however the MC during the course of the story does seem to know when his personality is a bit cool.
Except 'Cold' Takane is the same as default Takane, who is just plain old Takane. MC claims she's grown over the years and can understand and even love this him...
But honestly that wasn't romance. It was stupidly simple shojo garbage. You know where the protagonist is in love with sempai like all the girls. Sempai is so cool. Sempai is smart and cute. But does she really know sempai?
And thats how abruptly Takane's route ends. MC just has to trust Takane even though he's never (neither has the story for us) given us a real reason to believe or trust him.
I swear if he had sex with the MC and was like : "Yup 100% compatible. That was the longest its taking to get a woman in bed." I'd believe that more than any romance because that is who Takane is.
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choices-binglebonkus · 6 years ago
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Opinion post: best and worst LI’s from each series
I was pretty bored, decided I’d make a list of who I think are the best and worst LI’s in each series and why.  If you’ve got some time to spare, please be sure to post your opinions too, I’m rather curious as to see how the fandom thinks.
Note: Since Nathan and Paolo are antagonists/pseudo-love interests, and you CANNOT end the game in a relationship with them, I’m not going to be counting them on this list.
The Freshman/Sophomore/Junior/Senior
Best: Honestly? All of the love interests were a little bland for my tastes in this series, but if I had to pick one, it would be Becca.  She started out as a spoiled bully from a rich family and ended the series a humbler, kinder woman who learned to work for what she want, respect those around her, and she even got into the law school of her dreams.  Now that’s dedication!
Worst: Without a doubt, I think Kaitlyn Liao is the worst love interest in this series.  When the series started out, I actually thought she was great.  I didn’t want to romance her (or anyone else but I had to *eyeroll*) but she was my best friend.  But then I began to realize how detestable she was as a character.  She turned on MC after she accidentally came out to her parents, she turned on EVERYONE when she joined the Gutter Kittens, and only when her circus tent came crashing down did this sad clown emerge and ask for help cleaning up the remnants of the big top.  She’s immature, rude, she goes off on people for doing things she doesn’t want (Annisa talking to Natasha, MC writing an unbiased article about the Loose Pins and their strong performance, etc.), and worst of all, she’s a criminal.  
A LEGIT criminal.  Not on the level of the Alphas, but she’s committed her share of crimes, including underage drinking, breaking and entering on multiple accounts (when she broke into the observatory in TF book 4, investigating the studio’s security room in TJ, and breaking into the old dorm in The Senior), trespassing which basically goes hand-in-hand with the last crime, vandalism (when she broke a $500 bottle of whiskey in a bar in The Senior), and fleeing the scene of a crime (when she broke the whiskey).  The other characters have also committed some of these crimes, but I’m mainly gunning for Kaitlyn because she’s a repeat-offender, not to mention she’s committed more crimes than any of the other love interests.  Just...why did her character go totally south after book 3?!
The Crown & The Flame
Best: Raydan.  He’s loyal, incredibly strategic and knowledgeable, can hold his own in a fight, and he’s charismatic as hell.  Playing as Raydan was incredibly fun and I loved seeing what sorts of mischief he got up to on his adventures.  Plus, his romance scenes were incredible.  My favorites were the flower scene in book one and the tent scene in book two.
Worst: Shockingly, Dominic for several reasons.  He’s Kenna’s best friend and he’s held that title since their childhood, but I can only see him as her best friend.  The romance scenes between Dom and Kenna felt a little...I dunno, forced?  There’s not really any other way to say it.  I married Dom in one playthrough and I regretted it so much.  When Kenna and Dom get married, they become the most boring heterosexual couple in the game...honestly!  I also found Dominic just a very boring character in general, which is pretty shocking considering A. He’s a frickin’ fire mage and B. He’s in TC&TF, one of the best damn series in the game.  Whenever I saw the words “You are now playing as Dominic Hunter”, I wanted nothing more than to see “You are now playing as Kenna Rys” because I was so bored with his character.
Most Wanted
Best: ...I honestly don’t know! It’s been so long that I don’t even remember any love interests in the game.
Worst: Same here!
Rules of Engagement
Best: It’s a tie between Dean and Mira.  Dean was an incredibly down-to-earth character who started off as MC’s faithful companion and eventually fell in love with her.  Friendly and never afraid to lend her an ear, Dean made sure MC was faring well during tough times and took her out on dates/hangouts whenever she needed a pick-me-up even though his job as a Bartender *probably* didn’t pay that well.  During their marriage, Dean took on two roles, as not only did he agree to be her husband, he remained MC’s best friend as well.
Mira was also a really good love interest.  Even though she was paywalled to hell, she was a genuinely sweet character.  I got the wrong impression of her at first, thinking she was just a snooty chef brought to the kitchen to cause trouble for Party Girl Sister, but oh man.  Mira was fantastic.  When Party Girl Sister was in the middle of her pregnancy scare, Mira got involved and frequently checked in on her to make sure she was okay.  She helped her unwind and relax when the stress got to her, offered her advice from when she was pregnant with her son, and was overall an unexpected friend that Party Girl Sister needed.  When the time came to pick a love interest for PGS, I didn’t hesitate to pick Mira, who was truly her loving angel, and I don’t think I made the wrong choice in that at all.
Worst: I’m going to get plenty of hate from this I’m sure, but William and Leo.  They’re both incredibly rich and famous men who don’t even seem realistic, yet they fall for a completely ordinary girl.  William annoyed me on the first date when he saw my (non diamond!) outfit and had the audacity to say “Oh...” with a shocked look on his face.  I mean...”oh”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  But also, William was just kinda boring.  It seemed like he was using his money to compensate for how boring his personality was.
Leo is quite the opposite of William personality-wise, but I can’t say I liked his whole bad boy/rebel/”let’s do illegal stuff because in the end it’s fun” shtick.  Like William, Leo also seems largely unrealistic and rather unrelatable, which I think is a pretty big problem if you’re trying to resonate with the readers.
Endless Summer
Best: Jake and Quinn are a pretty tough choice, so I can’t say for sure which one I prefer.  They’re both attractive and both are rather different personality-wise.  Jake is brave, but at the start of the book he only really cares for himself.  As the story goes on, he starts to care about the other characters as it becomes apparent they’re all stuck on the island.  While Jake is a good guy, his nick-names got very, very old after three books.  Additionally, he’s one of the overused cynical/loner/sarcastic male love interest archetypes, but I’ll give him a pass this time because he was the first of his kind, plus he had a pretty good reason to be as cynical as he was.
Quinn is super cute and is probably one of the sweetest LI’s in the game.  She’s friendly and compassionate from the start, and knowing that she has an illness that will one day result in her death, she has become brave and willing to live her life to its fullest.  Her romance scenes were also amazing.  My personal favorite is the sex scene in the kitchen when she and MC make cupcakes together.  However, one thing I fault the writers for with Quinn’s writing is that she’s frequently portrayed as the damsel in distress.  You have to protect her from the Sabertooth, save her when she almost drowns, save her again when the Vaanti attack the hotel, save her AGAIN when she nearly dies from Rotterdam’s Syndrome, save her again when she and the group are held at gunpoint in the MASADA complex...the list goes ON!
Worst: Sean. Sean is an incredibly kindhearted character who cares about his friends to the point of not eating food until everyone else has eaten.  He’s selfless, brave, and an overall friendly guy.  However, that is his fault. I know it’s odd to be faulting such a great dude for being one of the sweetest guys in the game, but the only problem I have with him is that he’s a cookie-cutter clone of Chris, Caleb, Griffin, basically any strong, benevolent male character in the Choices series.  For the most part, they’re largely identical in personality, and that takes away from their originality.  I still love Sean.  Saying he’s the worst just means I think he’s the worst of any of the amazing LI’s in ES, but he’s still a really great guy.
#LoveHacks
Best: I really can’t pick any of them.
Worst: I’d honestly have to say all of them.  They’re either A. Wishy-washy B. Boring C. Introduced way too late in the game and their development is either non-existent or way too rushed.  Hell, I forgot Mark Collins even existed until I stumbled across his page on the wikia.
The Haunting of Braidwood Manor
Best: Eleanor by default.  She’s paywalled and you have to pay diamonds to keep her alive at the end, but she’s pretty, she’s sweet, she cares for her younger siblings enough to live(?) with a dark secret that’s left her traumatized, and we get to spend lots of time with her in the book.
Worst: Victor.  We barely even get to know this guy!  There’s almost nothing about him on the wikia pages either simply because he’s almost never in the story without diamonds and we barely even got to know him.  
The Royal Romance
Best: Even though I didn’t marry her at the end (I still had some flings with her though), Hana.  Hana is incredibly sweet, she’s really pretty, and she’s got overbearing parents which, in my case, makes her a really relatable character.  She does anything she can to please her parents/friends and she quickly becomes a very loyal friend (or lover) to MC as she finds her way as the newest noble in Cordonia.
Worst: Drake.  Oh, Drake, have I got a bone to pick with you.  Not only is he one of the many, MANY cynical/loner/sarcastic male LI archetypes, the story could have gone on without him, rendering him pretty useless.  I cannot think of a single non-romance scene where I thought: “Oh man, Drake is a really necessary character!”  Not to mention, Drake is picky as hell.  He gets to live in the palace for free, gets to eat food and hang out with Liam, but he whines about not wanting to become like those gosh darn nobles, and he whines about the food being “too fancy” or whatever when there are people starving in other parts of the world.  I would understand you not eating food if you’re allergic or can’t stomach it, but really, Drake? Because it’s too fancy?! Come on!
Hero
Best: I have to say, none of these love interests were up to par. The book is great, the LI’s are lacking.
Worst: All of them.  They’re not too bad per se, but man...they’re just so lackluster! Grayson is boring, Kenji is cocky, and Eva got on my nerves a lot.
High School Story
Best: Emma without a doubt.  She’s pretty, she’s very sweet to her friends and MC, and she’s a shy character who’s surprisingly well-written.  Though I didn’t choose to romance her, I still think she’s definitely the best love interest in this series because not only is she an amazing friend, but in other playthroughs I’ve watched, she’s a very loving girlfriend to the main character.
Worst: Probably a tie between Caleb and Maria.  Caleb, like I mentioned earlier, is pretty much the same as Chris, Sean, and Griffin, which makes him rather dull.  Maria isn’t too bad, but she could get very intense at times, and that gave me a really negative first impression of her that never truly went away.
It Lives in the Woods
Best: Andy. Frickin’. Kang.  He’s strong, rough and tumble, and really brave, but he’s also soft and gentle with the MC if they romance him.  He’s the first trans representation in Choices, and I personally think Pixelberry did a really good job with him.  I really felt for him when he and Tom were being discriminated against on the basketball team because they were both Asian, and because Andy was also short and transgender.  Yet, even after all this, Andy doesn’t quit the team and doesn’t give up his dreams, and if he survives the final game with Mr. Red/Jane, he becomes the basketball captain and eventually goes on to play for a college team.  Way to go, King Kang!
Worst: I don’t think I can really say any of them are the worst because all four of the other love interests in this series are pretty great.
Home for the Holidays
Best: None of them.  NONE.
Worst: ALL OF THEM! This book was abysmal, and one reason it was so hated is because the love interests were awful.  Nick was unnecessarily cruel, Wyatt was so happy it was creepy, and Holly was really boring.  
Red Carpet Diaries
Best: Oh dear.  Same case as HFTH, none of them.
Worst: I can’t choose just one, so...I guess all of them.  Matt was forced upon the player, Victoria is one of those mean girls/divas that has a complete 180 in her personality at some point, Teja and Seth were absolute morons for the entirety of book two, and Addison and Hunt were purely a fanservice for people who played Hollywood U (which is a good game, but if you ask me, Addi and Hunt should’ve never become LI’s for this series).
Perfect Match
Best: I really don’t even know with this one, you guys.  I was never a fan of this series (oof, I can feel the hate I’m getting from that sentence right now) and the LI’s all seemed really unimpressive.
Worst: Hayden.  While I really dislike Damien and think he’s undoubtedly the most overrated love interest in the entire game, I’ve got to say Hayden is the worst.  You get to customize their gender, appearance, and eventually their name, and while they’re a robot with sentience and human feelings, this just makes them seem LESS human.  Not to mention, they stupidly left the group on multiple occasions and went on walks alone to brood and be edgy, which eventually led to Harley infiltrating and causing our already feeble plans to fail yet again.  Lastly...Hayden is one of the love interests that repeatedly gets crammed down the player’s throat whether they like it or not.
Bloodbound
Best: Jax is a great love interest, but since he’s one of those overused cynical/loner/sarcastic archetypes, I’m going to have to say Lily is the best in this series.  She’s tragically underrated, quirky, goofy, and she’s a GAMER with GLASSES, which is totally my weak spot.  Lily is just the cutest thing, I swear.  And since I love Jax and Lily almost equally, I went NUTS when I was offered a diamond threesome scene with them.  That day was a huge win.
Worst: Even though he’s not too bad as a character, Adrian.  You don’t get to customize his name or gender, but you still get to customize his appearance, which I really don’t like in love interests because it makes them seem like interchangeable parts.  
Veil of Secrets
Best: Kate.  She’s paywalled unfortunately, and she only becomes a love interest at the very end of the book, but she’s very beautiful and sweet.  You have to spend the entire story saving her, but fortunately, she isn’t forced upon you romantically like some of the other love interests are in the game.  It’s really unfortunate that she became a love interest so late in the game.
Worst: Probably Naomi, only because she was boring.  Otherwise, she’s not too bad.
America’s Most Eligible
Best: None of them.
Worst: All of them because they’re really bland compared to some of the other love interests Pixelberry has given us.
Desire & Decorum
Best: Hamid.  He’s sweet, gentle, he’s good with kids, and he’s really attractive as well.  Overall, though, I think all the love interests in this series are pretty boring, but Hamid is slightly less boring than the others.
Worst: Sinclaire.  I originally hated his guts, but he’s not that bad to be honest.  He’s one of the cynical/loner/sarcastic male archetypes, and while not as extreme as some of the others, he’s still a part of the archetype.  He’s grown on me, I will admit, but only as a friend, nothing more.
Across the Void
Best: None of them.
Worst: All of them.  The whole book is a mess, and that trickles down to the love interests.  Minimal character development, forgettable love interests (I forgot Meridian and Titania even existed at some points in the book), Kepler freaks me out, Sol was a dick at certain points, Zekei is more of Eos’s love interest than MC’s, it’s a whole thing.  The siblings’ love interests aren’t any better.  Eos has Lyra who isn’t too bad, but damn is she boring.  He also has Deimos and Oberon who came in out of literal nowhere, same thing with Pax’s love interest, Zaniah, and she turns out to be a freaking villain that you have to pay diamonds to redeem.  Lastly, we have Holmes...who’s really annoying to me.  Sigh.
Big Sky Country
NOTE: I feel the need to tell you beforehand that I wanted to remain single for this series, but they force you into kissing someone in the last chapter whether you like it or not, so I picked the lesser of the evils.
Best: Juliette Mendoza, and I’m ONLY picking her because she’s absolutely beautiful.
Worst: Sawyer and Dallas.  Sawyer because he’s forced, Dallas because he’s yet another one of the cynical/loner/sarcastic male archetypes.  Urgh.
The Elementalists
Best: I don’t care for any of them.
Worst: Beckett, but before you murder me, it’s only because A. He redeemed himself in like one chapter which is incredibly lazy writing on Pixelberry’s part, and B. He and Griffin (who I rather like, actually) get lots of diamond scenes while love interests like Aster are getting sidelined.
High School Story: Class Act
Best: Skye, but I wouldn’t romance her simply because she’s more of a friend than anything.  She’s incredibly sweet and she’s the polar opposite of her shitty family, and having a storyline about Skye and the abuse she gets from her family would actually be really interesting.  I’d love to see her family get their comeuppance and Skye end up living a better life, because that’s what she deserves.
Worst: I legitimately could not choose who I hate more.  Rory and Ajay are both on my shit list.  Rory is one of the most forced love interests in the entire frickin’ game, and is a complete Mary Sue.  I’m not just saying that either.  Rory is attractive, talented, popular, and lots of people have crushes on them (Erin says in one of the first chapters of HSSCA book one that their last play got a good turnout because 1/3 of the audience had crushes on Rory), and is *supposedly* completely oblivious to how many people like them, which would be kiiiiinda hard to miss, especially with Natalie and Clint.  
But otherwise, Rory has almost zero personality.  They’re friendly, but most love interests have that trait.  They also have a mother with cancer and participates in a play to fund treatment for her, but that’s about as complex as Rory gets.  The worst part about them is that they’re constantly getting shoved down our throats.  The game and characters constantly imply MC has a crush on Rory whether we like it or not, and MC ceases to function during rehearsal when they realize Rory is going to ask them to homecoming.  For Pete’s sake, we join the damn play just to get closer to Rory.  And for people who don’t give a fuck about Rory, like me, that makes the book remarkably frustrating.
And we also have Ajay, who I hate about as much as Rory.  From the start, he was rude, condescending, and snarky.  But then when Rory tells everyone their mother has cancer, Ajay says “yeah man, I’ve been super harsh because I want this to go perfect, blah blah” which, to me, is a TOTAL cop out.  Even if the play didn’t go perfect, the audience would have already paid for their admission and donated beforehand.  I didn’t excuse Ajay’s dickish behavior throughout the book, especially when he never apologized for siding against MC after the whole theater cube fiasco, even when there was zero concrete evidence against them.  Annoying, rude, never apologized for making an accusation that turned out to be untrue, and...god, every time he speaks, my mind reads his words in Brainy Smurf’s annoying, nasally voice.
It Lives Beneath
Best: Tom.  What can I say except Tomoichi “Tom” Sato?  Ever since ILITW, he's been a good friend to Andy since they were toddlers, helped him throughout life with his friendship, prevented Andy from committing suicide at one point, and was friendly throughout the first book.  In this series, he's a love interest, and is one of the few love interests who isn't drawn with a super-duper fit body (thus making him a little more realistic).  And his sex scenes are wild, dude.  I mean, in a PHOTO BOOTH at a festival full of people?!
He's loyal, goofy, and he's realistic because he's awkward and flustered if MC flirts with him.  Be honest, if an attractive stranger starting forwardly flirting with you within not even a day of meeting you, wouldn't you be pretty awkward and stuttery?  Also, Tom is cute, he appears to have a friendly/romantic chemistry with MC, and all the scenes with him and MC are well-written and pleasant to read.   
Worst: Out of fear of being personally attacked again (I even got one or two death threats), I will not be going too in-depth about why Imogen is the worst love interest of this series.  All I’ll say is that, for the majority of the book, she was an extreme weak link and I feel like she redeemed herself too late.
A Courtesan of Rome
Best: Syphax.  He’s really gorgeous, and he takes the fall for MC when she sloppily murders a Roman authority.  That’s some serious selflessness, and I really admire Syphax for that, but he is a bit forced on the player in the first part of the book.
Worst: Marc Antony.  He really gives me the creeps.
The Heist: Monaco
Best: Eris.  She’s sassy, spunky, but she’s got a soft spot for MC and is actually really sweet.  She’s absolutely beautiful and I didn’t have a hard time choosing her as my love interest.  Though...if Sonia turns out to be a love interest, I might have a problem later.
Worst: Probably Fabien because, yet again (I’m sorry, okay!), he’s a cynical/loner/sarcastic male love interest archetype.  But he’s really not a bad dude, I like him.  He’s just the worst out of this bunch.
Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance
Best: One word: none.
Worst: All of them! They’re all criminals, and they’re not noble criminals who screw over corrupt people like MC and their crew in TH:M, they’re legit criminals who endanger other people’s lives for fun.
So, what do you guys think? Who are your best/worst LI’s for each series? Don’t hesitate to reblog and ring in with your opinions, because like I said before, I’m really curious to see how the rest of the fandom thinks.
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rhythmbastard · 6 years ago
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STATE OF THE BASTARD 2019!!!
Better late than never! I'm 31! Wooo... For me, 2018 was a year where I tried out a lot of stuff and it worked. As shitty as things were otherwise, and at times, I felt like I was just spinning my wheels, I have a better idea of what to do going forward. The con front was quiet, but the few shows I did put on (Mini Iwai, Anime Iwai and Holiday Matsuri), went over very well, particularly because I've got my shenaniganing down pat. I've also put out quite a few songs out on Patreon, and managed to get to a few conventions I wasn't required to play at. Like, I can just hang out and shit. So I have a better feeling going into 2019. Here's to 10 More Years! Yeah, I've been at this for 10 Years. MOST RECENT SONG: "Death's Blossom" Youtube-
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I JUST rendered the video and cover out today so I can have this for you guys. You're Welcome! FAVORITE SONG I MADE: "Thrash Panda" A song that's still Patron exclusive, but I feel REALLY good playing this song live. The ONLY reason I haven't dropped it yet is because I do want to make a cool piece of art to go along with it. OTHER COOL SHIT I DID: 2017's 3000 Brigade Show is finally out!
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This was a good one. I still have the Wii Fit Trainer stuff, in my closet. 2018's show was even better since I had more to do! Amanda if you're reading this I still have all of your acoutrements in my closet I've also joined a DnD Campaign long time internet friend Luke Herr is running, which leads me into... PODCAST STUFF: RPG Pals Club- By the time you read this, it'll be out for the public! My character is Oi! A Drow Monk who chose the punk life over the underdark. So now he's a punk monk. NOW HE'S A PUNK MON- I'd Rather Not- The last episode was... not fit for human consumption, but we're nearing on 100 episodes, so the shaningans will Pentuple! TREND I LIKED THE LEAST: Coddling Bigotry Being A Cottage Industry Oh, wait? That was last year? And it still persists this year since all social media companies worry about is "engagement", content be damned, since 4chan Nazis have nothing better to do all day than harass transgender people and other minorities? TREND I LIKED THE LEAST PART 2: Articles About "Going Too Far" You know the trend: "SANTA SHOULD BE GENDER NEUTRAL!" "THEYBIES?" "EXACTLY ONE WOMAN WITH FEMINIST IN THEIR TWITTER BIO SAID A THING SO IT'S NEWS" You've seen these articles a million times shared by friends on Facebook, usually accompanied by a "WTF?", and in the comments go something like "I'm not racist/sexist/hating on x group here, BUT..." These stories serve a purpose to make you think that a certain marginalized group is going "too far" in the pursuit of equal rights. And when you have the fear of going "too far", its two fold: 1. You're afraid of anything being tried in the first place 2. It leaves the door open for someone more agreeable to the status quo to come in with an ineffective solution. So the only response is to drag them to the main point kicking and screaming, "Well don't you think X should have the same rights as the rest of us?" TREND I LIKED THE MOST: Furries Being The Comrades We All Need In This Shittastic World This year's Internet Hero was not a man, but a fox. A black, gay fox (everything Republicans hate) who was really, really good at fighting games. Second place goes to a guy who shat on Elon Musk: I've mentioned that the furry fandom/subculture is more creator focused than anime fandom, which means that is is decentralized, and all media considered "furry" is not produced by a singular entity. There may be pieces of media popular amongst furries, like Disney movies, Star Fox, etc., but the fandom itself owns the means of production, meaning it's socialist as hell, which is a good thing.    Since there's no singular entity that produces the art, there's no reason for them to ignore bad actors in the name of profit. Video game and comics companies and the like can look at bullshit like Gamergate and Comicsgate and go, "Hey, their money's just as good as anyone else's! But since the talent pool is widely distributed, and everything is done on a person to person basis, you can tell the Nazis to fuck off:
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And yes, there are Nazifurs/Altfurries. When the entire pull of a fandom is "You don't have to be the default you", it can be a good, like a safer space for LGBTQ+ people to express themselves and feel more out (i.e. their fursona is a different gender than the person was assigned, sexuality is different, etc.). Or it can be a bad, meaning "Hey, I was kicked out of my usual group because I was a dipshit who kept making holocaust/attack helicopter/racist jokes, SURELY these people will accept me!" As mentioned earlier, you can kick out the latter group. It's fine. When you've been an internet punching bag for so long, you can either be a shittier person, or keep on keeping on and learn to be better on your own. Same for the juggalos. LET'S COMBINE THE TWO, SHALL WE? FAVORITE SONG OF 2018: "Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monae
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So, the runner up for this was "She's Kerosene" by The Interrupters, but while that a lot of energy and I crank up it my car all the time, "Make Me Feel" wins out because it has sexiest buildup to any song ever, and of course, Janelle Monae at her most fun. TOP 40 SONG I HATED THE LEAST: "Thank U, Next" by Ariana Grande
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My thought process: "Ugh, OK, like, I haven't listened to a lot of Top 40 Radio, so I guess 'Feel It Still' is in the running, but let's see what Todd In The Shadows thinks..." "Thank U Next? That Ariana Grande song? It's a meme, but I'll give it a listen." "DAMN THIS IS SO GOOD! Her voice is so soothing! And the song expresses a sentiment so unique! Haha! I wonder what movies I'd parody for my thank u next equivalent?" THE "WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER?" AWARD: The Shadowrun Games by Harebrained Schemes Shadowrun is a TTRPG setting that's basically when two designers didn't want to decide on making a cyperpunk game, or a fantasy game so they're like "FUCK IT, WE'LL DO BOTH!" and have a game where you can play as orcs who can cast magic and elves who can hack into shit. Since 2013, Harebrained schemes have been making games based off the brand and have done so with X-Com style combat mixed with Neverwinter Nights style exploration, and while not very long, they've been fun to play and get into. Dragonfall is the best out of the three with a better story, and more connections to your usual shadowrunning squad. GAME OF THE YEAR: See Above ANNUAL REMINDER I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER: via Blogger http://bit.ly/2Ht1MZJ
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littleredroseonthevalley · 6 years ago
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Wildest Dreams
Summary: A New Year’s. A wedding reception. Two parties, set apart in time, spell a begining and an end in Emily’s life.
Rating: M -  Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.
Notes: Hello, everyone! I wanted to do a Nathan piece for weeks now, especially after The Big Reveal on TJ. My first attempt was ‘An Opera on Separation’, but Zig ended up worming his way there and it turned out to be less about Nathan and more about Emily getting over Nathan and ending up on the arms of Ziggy-Pop himself.
Then, last Thursday, I heard ‘Wildest Dreams’ by Taylor Swift while trying to come up for a new number for my dance crew and it really inspired me!
Oh, and a fair warning, this is NOT a part of ‘An Opera on Separation’ universe. This is a completely separate one-shot. Perhaps I ought to take a page from my fellow authors and change the MC’s name, but I tend to prefer the default name for reasons.
And I used the ‘An Opera on Separation’ taglist. Sue me.
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Emily was leaning against a wall and wishing she was dead.
Who the Hell decides to break with someone just outside a Starbucks? On the day before Christmas Eve, no less?
Emily’s ex does.
She sighed once more. Her holidays were miserable over it, as her family expected her to bring her significant other to the feast. Showing up alone was right depressive.
Returning to work on the 26th hadn’t been any easier, as somehow the entire office building where she worked as a secretary ended up figuring out about her shameful break-up before lunch hour. That certainly thwarted her hopes of having at least half a day of peace.
Consequentially, all her colleagues insisted terribly for her to attend the building’s New Year’s Eve party, as a way to ‘get back on the horse’, so to speak.
She pushed back as hard as she could, but she ended up caving. She supposed she could hang around until ten or so, have some cheap liquor and leave to spend midnight the way God intended.
Drunk and alone on her bed.
What the young woman did not count on was the fact that the hours between eight and ten would be Chinese torture in form of a company gathering.
Everyone around her seemed to be drunk on the sad excuse for champagne the company had provided, and the friskier were coupling up in bizarre pairings, like Crystal, the sour receptionist, and Dan, the Porno King from accounting.
Those scenes of moral decadence only served to further Emily’s depression. Despite attending a prestigious university and having academic honours, she was stuck at the same dead-end job as the woman who seemingly collected chocolate wrappings on her desk drawer.
Corporate America was a soul-sucking monster and that girl was out of soul to give.
Feeling claustrophobic, the woman unlatched herself from her spot on the wall and walked over to the balcony for some air. The place was thankfully devoid of people, except for a blond guy who was smoking and leaning against the railing.
She considered leaving, but the idea of returning to the crowd was enough for giving her a small anxiety attack. No, if she hung out on the opposite end as him, perhaps he wouldn’t notice, or would pick up the cue and leave her be.
And it worked for a while, she could sit down on the dirty floor and stretch her aching legs. The man finishes his cigarette and picks another one from his suit jacket and tries to light it, to no avail.
He sighed loudly and seemed to curse under his breath. He, then, turned to her and said, amicably: “Hi-ya.”
She looks over to him and takes a moment to realize he’s talking to her. Then, she responds with a lazy: “Hey.”
“Do you have some fire?” He asks, rather supplicant. “My lighter seems to have given up on me.”
“No, sorry. Non-smoker.” The woman answers, still wishing for the man to go away.
“Such is my luck. Perhaps it’s a sign that I smoked way too much today. It’s a nasty habit, but I never had it in me to stop.” He snorts, anxious. “What brings you to the smoking area?”
She looked at him, confused. “This is the smoking area?”
“Yep.” He popped the p and pointed to the ash dispensers around the balcony. “I’ll go ahead and say you wanted a break from all that inside.”
The young woman sported a small side smile over the comment. “Pretty much. And to stay out of Crystal line of sight. After she’s done with Dan, she’ll have nothing else to lose.”
“Dan still works here?” The blond asks, more to himself, surprised. “I was sure he’d be fired after all the data leaking.”
“You and me both, pal.” She says, while sipping her beverage. “ The virus got into the system through one of his porn movies, after all.”
“I think whom you really should look out for is Marcia from HR. I saw her pulling a busboy into a closet some half an hour ago. That woman is insatiable!” The guy bemoans, well-humored.
Emily raises a well-kept eyebrow, throws a smirk and says: “You speak out of experience?”
He laughs. “Jesus, no. It wasn’t over her lack of interest, though.”
“How conceited!” She accused, smiling. “I’m Emily, by the way.”
He also smiled, charmingly. “Nathan. Nice to meet you.”
“Nathan? Like the boss?” She asks, curious.
“You know the CEO?” He responds, surprised.
She nods. “Well, yeah, I’m one of his secretaries.”
“Ah, cool.” He shakes his fair head. “Life-long dream of being a secretary?”
The statement was ridiculous enough to drag a loud laughter out of the girl. “No way. I’m a writer. Well, I was a writer.”
“What happened?” He asks, taking a seat next to her.
“It happened no one wanted to pick up my manuscript. Then I tried to self-publish, but that fell through pretty quickly.” She sighed. “After that, I decided to cut my losses and had a friend wire me with this gig. So here I am.”
He grimaces. “I’m sorry for that. If it makes you feel better, I always wanted to be an anthropologist, but my dad thought going on field studies resembled too much a vagabond lifestyle and argued that corporate law would be much more my speed. And so, here I am, and guess what?”
“What?”
“Corporate law sucks.” They laugh.
“It does make me feel a little better.” She pokes.
“Well, I’m glad my misery is amusing to you.” The man smirks with his shiny pearly teeth.
“What brings you to this disgrace of a party?” Emily asks, blunt.
“It was a pretty good excuse not to attend my parents’ disgrace of a party.” He responds with a shrug. “You?”
“Some of the girls at the desk thought it’d be depressing for me to spend New Year’s alone, so they nagged me until I agreed to come.” She throws back an offending lock of hair.
He hummed. “That may be the reasoning of most of the people in here tonight.”
“Damn year ending on a Wednesday.” She huffs. “I suppose it’s fitting. A mediocre year ending on a mediocre day.”
“I’d drink to that.” The blond echoes.
“Cheers!” She raises her lonely red cup.
Emily was going all out for that party later tonight. She had only just left the hairdresser’s and was ready for putting on the dress, which hung at her closet door for over a week in anticipation for tonight.
The piece had been handpicked. She’d much prefer a Paco Rabane, but the evening required some demure, and so she went with a blue-and-gold, slit on the leg, Gucci ball gown and a matching clutch. The also blue high heels disguised her short stature and highlighted her lean legs.
Finally, the jewellery. She was covered in diamonds, from his earrings, neck and hands, everything was adorned with pieces which sported the precious gem. Even her hair was held up with an encrusted pin.
She put on the luxurious outfit and sat down to do her makeup. Supposedly, she could have had it done at the beauty parlour, but she rarely liked the results when she let others do it for her. Not to mention, she was rather disgusted with the shared brushes and products.
No, she was a dextrous woman. She could do it herself.
First, the base on her cheeks, to disguise small acne scars, some sun damage and the insistent swelling from the past few days. Then, a smidge of blush, for a healthy colouring. Emily was way too pale for her own good.
Next, the eyes. Eyeliner and mascara would make her eyes pop against the white, and now unmarred, skin. Then the mandatory red lipstick, carefully applied to her full lips.
It was a night event, she could humour herself and splurge a little with the products and not look like a clown.
When she was finally done, she picked up the clutch and checked her money, phone and documents. Then, fetching the car keys, left for the party.
“Have these naval charts approved by Tuesday, and have my car picked up from the shop first thing in the morning.” The greying-haired man ordered with little as much as a look to the young woman standing by his desk.
“Yes, Mr. Sterling, sir.” She nods and writes down his commands at her planner.
“You may go now, Emily.” He dismisses, and the girl excuses herself.
Closing the door with care, she returns to her seat at the desk she shares with two other secretaries, Kate and Jess.
“I don’t know how you can deal with that dick and keep that stupid smile on your face.” Jess mentions with a sneer.
Emily shrugged. “I’m happy these days. It won’t be Mr. Sterling who’ll pop my bubble.”
Kate scoffs, her sixth sense for a good piece of gossip tingling hard. “Happy, right. Just the other day you’re lamenting on the corners because of what’s-their-name. When we’ll know the name of this ‘happiness’ of yours?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The other responds but couldn’t contain the smirk.
“Yeah, sure!” Kate shouts and points accusingly. “You totally smiled. Come on! Please, please, please!”
“No! Just drop it.” Emily said, good-naturedly.
“Kate, Emily’s entitled to her secrets.” Jess said, not as much to defend her as to get the other girl to sit quiet. Emily never could understand why, but Jess was never much of her fan.
“Fine.” She huffed in response. “Meanie.”
The three women finished their shift and parted ways at the company’s doorstep. Emily walked over to the subway station with a skip on her step. She did not lie when she said she was very happy to be brought down these days.
Life was much too good when you’re in love.
Reaching her modest one-bedroom apartment, she quickly changed her clothes and put herself to work. Her boyfriend would be stopping by later tonight, and would stay for dinner, so Emily had to whip out a first-class meal and clean up the place by nine.
Dating her boss’ son was something that the redhaired did not planned for, it just happened, and it certainly took some adapting. Their relationship had to be kept under wraps, lest Jess and the other employees think she’d receive preferential treatment.
But it was worth it. When Nathan said he was actually Nathan Sterling, III, it shocked her. She felt rather betrayed, as he kept that slight detail for over a month of going out, and the ‘no-telling rule’ was rather uncomfortable.
But Nathan was also a caring, loving boyfriend. He makes her feel like a princess every day he’s with her. He called or texted three times a day, just to check on her and talk about their day. He showered with gifts, ranging from the romantic, like flowers, to the lavish, like diamonds, to the thoughtful, like a first-edition of her favourite childhood book, ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’.
In the end, forfeiting bragging rights to Kate was a too small of a sacrifice. She loved Nathan, she wanted to be with him. Waiting until such time she could quit her miserable job for ‘coming out’ to her friends was absolutely worth it.
At exactly nine o’clock, a knock on the door jump-start Emily from the oven to skip over to the living room. She opens the door with a wide smile and says: “Hello!”
Nathan doesn’t say a thing, he prefers to let down the bags he’d been holding, picking up the woman by her waist and twirl her over the cramped living room, eliciting giggles from the redhead.
Reaching the middle of the room, he smiled broadly, kissed her nose and said: “Good evening, Emily. How you’re doing?”
“I’m fine. Better now.” She unwrapped herself from his arms. “Just sit down, I’ll finish dinner in a moment.”
“Great, I’m famished!” He says, boisterous. “By the way, I brought some wine.”
“I’ll grab the bottle opener.” She shouts from the kitchen.
Soon enough, Emily emerges with a carbonara, two glasses and a bottle opener and sets them on the table.
“And I brought another thing, as well.” The blond says, a wicked smile on his face.
The redhaired couldn’t help but smile over the man’s childish antics. “What is it?”
“Well, remember you said Tuesday you wanted to go out dancing?” He asks, but before she could answer, he continues. “I felt really guilty I couldn’t take you, BUT, I could bring an iPod and a sound box. So get ready, Em, ‘cause tonight we’re dancing on the hottest and most exclusive club in the city!”
Emily beamed at the surprise. She walks over to him and kisses him deeply, until them both are out of air. After they break apart, she says: “I love you.”
“I love you more.” He smirks and bends down to kiss her again.
She was up in the sky, and no-one would bring her down.
The party venue was a good two-hour drive from her place, across state lines. But it did not matter, Emily enjoyed driving on the highway, with the high speed cleansing her frustrations and the hustle-bustle of people driving across the land engaging her mind.
She enjoyed looking at the vehicles passing by, looking at the faraway license plates and conjecturing stories about its passengers, where they were going and from where they came.
The ferry that took her to Martha’s Vineyard was no less of an enjoyable experience, feeling the salty wind hitting her face and observing the great reddish-blue expanse of the ocean beyond the sound.
Once at the wealthy suburb, she drove to a small, wooded area near the country club. She decided to walk to the venue, her old, rusty and noisy Kia would certainly be too much of a difference from the imported, luxury cars that filled the valet service.
No, she was aiming a low profile that night, and that sky-blue old machine would not do.
The fifteen-minute walk from the gates to the main salon was harder than she expected, given the heels were less for movement and more for show. Her feet would remember this night tomorrow morning.
Emily reaches the ostentatious French doors at the club entrance and gives her invitation to the usher. The young man greets her with a smile and walks her over to her seat.
A server comes and offers her champagne, which she gracefully accepts a flute and made herself comfortable.
The party was about to start.
“Emily, please, say something.” Nathan pleaded, looking hurt at her while she just shrunk further within the couch. The woman was silently looking at the void for over fifteen minutes now.
“I think you should leave.” Emily complied, letting out the phrase in a hoarse voice.
He really wanted to fight, to scream, to stay and have her react. Even if it meant she would throw something pointy and hard at him.
But, in the end, the whole thing was breaking his heart as well and he was never one with high threshold for pain, so he complied to her wish and walked over to the door. Before stepping out, he turns back one last time and says: “Call me if you want to talk. Anytime.”
Emily did not respond. After Nathan shuts the door on his way out, she did not make a sound. She enjoyed the silence of the house, she noted the tiny steps of bugs in the kitchen, the dripping of raindrops on the windows and the leakage on the sink.
The first thought that hit her with some reasoning came who knows how later in the day, and it was a simple phrase.
Nathan’s engaged.
An arranged match, he said. Kassidy Marquez’s family controlled port infrastructure around the Gulf of Mexico, and it was a big move for a shipping company, as large as it was, still confined within the Northeastern Seaboard.
He came by that afternoon to tell her of his father’s decision, to have him wed the young girl. He confessed to know Kassidy from college, and to have casually dated her in the past, but assured Emily of his ‘undying love and devotion’.
Nathan also expressed his intentions to maintain a relationship between them, even on the event of his marriage.
She didn’t want to think about it. She couldn’t think about it now. She was out of breath, like she was drowning in dry land.
She just wanted to draw the drapes and pretend she was dead.
“Oh my, Emily, you’re such a delight!” The older woman says, laughing of something the girl had said.
“You’re too kind, Mrs. Franklin.” The redhead smiled politely.
“What’s your relation to the couple, again?” The other wonders, remembering she had not been told.
“Oh, I’m a working colleague of the groom’s.” She responded. “Speaking of which, it seems they’re ready to have their first dance. Would you care to accompany me?”
“I’m much too old!” The woman complains, good-naturedly. “Go along! I’ll see them from over here.”
“Please, Mrs. Franklin, you’re much too youthful to call yourself old. But if you excuse me, I love this part of weddings.” Emily stood up and walks over to the dancefloor, blending in with the crowd watching the newlywed couple.
The bride was a looker, with her long black hair and tanned skin, a shine on her eyes like a blushing virgin, that freshness of going on to a new life. Her luxurious and pristine Vera Wang dress highlighted the posture of a young aristocrat and flew through the room like a curtain dancing on the wind.
But if we’re judging by appearance, the groom was the pretty one. He looked every bit like a fairy tale prince, with his tall and lean frame, white skin as if he had never met the sun in his life, and the blond hair combed backwards. The suit was midnight black, perfectly tailored overseas, and with sapphire cufflinks to give a finishing shine of upper crust.
They twirled through the room the whole fifteen minutes of Blue Danube in flawless grace, and without breaking a sweat. Soon after, they started the rounds through the guest tables, to receive the congratulations from the various guests.
A good hour later, when Nathan and Kassidy reach table 13, which contained the looser relatives on the Sterling family, they are greeted by the recently-widowed Great-Aunt Susett Franklin.
“Oh, my darlings!” She kisses each of their kisses, much to the displeasure of Kassidy. “Congratulations on the nuptials! It is such a wonderful adventure, and I hope yours to be filled with bliss and bounty.”
“Thank you, Aunt Susett.” Nathan says, politely. “How do you like the party? I hope you’re not feeling too alone out here.”
She laughs, dismissively. “Not at all! Emily has been keeping me in good company the entire party. Lovely girl, that one.”
Kassidy made a face. “Emily? I don’t remember an Emily at the guest list.”
“I don’t think you’ve met her, honey. She says she’s Nathan’s colleague, from work.” The older woman comments, in passing. “A shame you’ve come by just when she left to freshen up. She seemed so eager to congratulate you!”
A cold shiver shot through Nathan’s back. It couldn’t be, could it? After months of silence, she wouldn’t come to great lengths to attend the reception. However, he certainly did not know any other Emily, lest one who worked for him.
His ocean-blue eyes run through the venue, looking for that unmistakeable red hair.
And, then, he sees her.
She looked as beautiful as ever, with the dress and the accessories he had gifted her over the months of their relationship. But her eyes were different, they seemed dead and filled with tears.
She set her sights on him and seemed to pierce his soul with it and all he wanted to do was scream.
But it did not last long, as on the next second she turns around and leaves the party.
The blond muster some stupid excuse and dashes after her, not caring what anyone would think or say. He underestimates a seasoned woman on heels with a very good reason to run, as he couldn’t find her on the hallway by the salon, nor at the entrance hall to the country club.
Nathan would only be able to catch up under a willow, a short walk from the main gateway of the club. “Emily! Emily, wait!” He says, and reaches for her arm, pulling her close and forcing her to face him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came for the free booze. What do you think I was doing?!” The redhead shouts to his face. “I was torturing myself like the idiot I am.”
“You’re not an idiot.” He responded, severe. “Why didn’t you call me? I’d come to you.”
The woman scoffed, incredulous. “And drop your wedding?”
“I dropped it now, didn’t I?” He shoots her a side smirk, trying to dispel her hostility, to no avail.
“Don’t do that!” She shouts. “Don’t try to charm your way out of this. It won’t work.”
He sighed. “Okay. But I can honestly say I really missed you.”
“It. Won’t. Work.” She repeated.
The blue-eyed man shrugged. “It’s no trick, but believe what you want. Why you’re here?”
“I thought I needed to see it for myself.” She declared, her voice wavering. “Shock therapy, I guess. To force myself to let go.”
“You know you don’t have to if you don’t want it.” He looked pleadingly at the woman, who stood tense and straight like the willow next to them. “I love you. I want you. We can make this work if we really want to.”
“Look, Nathan, I get why you did what you did. I get that you left me for Kassidy, and that what we had wouldn’t have a future. But don’t ask me to be a part of your Boston Brahmin fantasy.” She shot him a look. “If you can’t be in it for the whole thing, at least let me find someone who is.”
The reality of things start to catch up to the young aristocrat. “So you’re just gonna leave? You’re abandoning me?”
“You left first, Nathan.” She coldly accuses. “You left me all those months ago when you said you’d be marrying Kassidy. And I’m not going down with the ship, I’m sorry.”
The blond start taking steps backwards, trying to focus his eyesight, blurred by the pain he felt on every muscle of his body.
Seizing the opportunity to leave, Emily looks back at him and says: “I really loved you, you know?”
“I know.” He manages to respond. “I love you, too.”
“I truly hope Kassidy makes you happy.” She said with a melancholic smile on her face.
“She won’t.” He responded, but the redhead had already left.
Emily ran the rest of the distance to her car, where she hastily took off every piece of jewellery and tried to clean off the make-up, ruined by the tears.
When she calmed herself minimally, she started the engine and drove away.
Taglist: @alicars; @boneandfur; @choicesfannatalie; @diamond-dreamland; @emerald-bijou; @kennaxval; @liamxs-world; @lizeboredom; @mfackenthal; @mrsdrakewalkerblog; @radiantrosemary; @topsyturvy-dream
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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years ago
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Quick Thoughts on DD Book 1 Chapter 5
• Content Warning: There are references to slut shaming while speaking about opera singers, and I speak about executions in the Hamid scene (I've not added grisly details or anything, but to me what I have included does sound a little macabre). I don't know if those warrant a warning, but I'd like to err on the side of caution and ensure that anyone comfortable with that knows this before they make the decision to proceed.
• Okay on with the QT!
• Why hello there, fancy hot looking Ottoman prince dude.
• Looks like not one but both of my MCs will be living the thot life.
• Apologies for the huge delay guys. There was a LOT to unpack this chapter, and it took me a while to actually explore, confirm my research and get a clear idea overall of how I wanted to approach this one. I'm hoping once TRR ends I can get these babies out earlier.
• You know what I realised? The Lady Grandma LIKES a sassy bitch. There are several times this chapter she's actually been more approving of my headstrong Marianne than she has been of my more mild-mannered Florence. See all of this:
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She's mostly approving of this, however, when Henrietta is the recipient of this behaviour, but there are also points where she appreciates the MC's candor (if she chooses to show it) such as if the MC refers to the art of the fan as "ridiculous". If there is one thing that consistently gets on Dominique's nerves, it is occasions where the MC might speak of herself and her former background negatively, mostly out of annoyance because it shows she hasn't comfortably settled into her role yet, and Dominique needs the MC to do so if Edgewater is to stay within in the family and bloodline.
• Also I love the subtle streak of independence we get to see in Annabelle. She is someone who is doing what is expected of her, someone who tries to make the best of her circumstances the only way she knows how, but she is also refreshingly open about how stressful it is for her to go down this path, even in her free scenes. She is also playful and mischievous and doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes a lot of her scenes a joy to do.
• I also really really liked the option where you tell her she's the one you want to marry, and her reaction is both a disbelief that such a dream could come true alongside a receptiveness to the idea. It's soft and sweet and beautiful.
• So we start out with a crash course on the nobility we'll meet in London (Alfred Halloway, whose daughter Felicity is debuting this season, and the Barrymore family, who are related to the Halloways by marriage). Only this time, Annabelle wants to be a snarky little boss and fill the MC in on all the juicy gossip that Lady Grandmother won't give her.
• Lady Grandmother: Alfred Holloway is the viscount of Lochdale. His daughter, Felicity, will be coming from her estate at Bellington Hall to make her debut this season.
Miss Parsons: Alfred Holloway is an arrogant prig who looks like an Easter ham studded with cloves.
(For the record, this is what a clove-studded Easter ham seems to look like:
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Holy shit Annabelle you savage af)
Lady Grandmother: Miss Holloway's family is also tied by marriage to the Earl of Barrymore...
Miss Parsons: Oh, avoid the Earl of Barrymore. His bed has more traffic than Drury Lane!
Annabelle here must be referring to the crowd that tends to flock around the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, which was popular as a source of entertainment for its plays and had a seating capacity of 3000 people.
• The free scene with Annabelle is important because it eases us gently into the main themes of her scene later on. The women get to speak about the whole concept of a "marriage market", and straight off the bat Annabelle lets us know how uncomfortable she is with having to go through a wedding to another man.
• She also speaks about what else - besides the fact that Harry was her closest friend - about his death affected her. Having been promised to Harry, Annabelle didn't have to go through the rigamarole of finding a husband. She had learned to settle with the idea of being married to someone who she knew and liked at least, if not loved. It's sad to us modern readers now that Annabelle would have to settle for less than passion or love, but back then I don't think she could have imagined a better deal. And now...and now she will have to settle for even less than what she had with Harry. This was a pretty neat way of easing us into the larger conversation she has with us in her diamond scene.
• A few days pass, and Briar is now helping us get ready for the trip to London. You have the option of encouraging her romance with Mr Woods, which...cmon. They cute 😊
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Ooh so our House Colours are navy blue and gold! (considering that the Earl's default outfit itself is navy blue, I should have figured that would be a house colour). It's nice but MY NECK WHERE IS MY NECK.
Did You Know: that up until the middle of the 19th century, men's and women's riding habits were largely made by men in a distinctively masculine style. This is what Candice Hern's article "Regency Habits, Overview" on her website Regency World, says:
"Though the style and cut of riding habits changed with time and fashion, they continued to be tailored in a masculine style throughout the 17th and 18th centuries and into the early 19th century. In La Belle Assemblée in 1815, we read that: “Habits have, ever since they were first brought into fashion, been considered as decidedly calculated to give even the most delicate female a masculine appearance, and the wits of our grandmothers’ days were unmercifully severe on the waistcoat, cravat, and man’s hat which were then the indispensible appendages to a habit.”"
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YOU'RE NOT COMING WTF DAD NO.
• WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO YOU WHILE I'M GONE.
• I'm having a sinking feeling about leaving my old dad around in this house while Henrietta is still there, Grandma had better be his bodyguard (or maybe not. Cordonians seem to have weird ideas of what constitutes a successful bodyguard *COUGHCOUGH Mara and Bastien COUGHCOUGH*).
• Like most of the fandom I have a feeling the Earl will die sooner than we think. @i-dream-so-i-write once mentioned that it could well be towards the end of the book, and I think that's a fitting dramatic turn this book would take into the next. I'm going to miss the hell outta this guy though 😟
• Henrietta sent Mr Marlcaster and Miss Sutton ahead of time so they can screw things up for us, so we will need to butter them up like no tomorrow when we reach there, apparently.
• Hello Luke! It's been exactly one chapter!
• Kinda like the bonding the MC and Luke have with regards to the horse. Their first real conversation began with Clover, so it is fitting that their bonding continues over her at least for their initial interactions.
• Aww man, Henrietta wants Clover the horse to be sold and they give you a diamond option to keep her, name her and get extra scenes with her. Florence calls her Moonstone, Marianne calls her Pepper. Moonstone suits Florence's particular sense of whimsy, and I figured Marianne would want something short and snappy and it helped that Luke gave the horse some salt before the diamond option came up 😂
It's a fairly nice scene I guess, but it drives me batty because this book is already taking astronomical sums of money early on in the book, and people are already beginning to get frustrated. Even TRR, which is a pretty expensive book, took more than half the book before they pushed forward the option to buy the Derby horse. It just is beginning to feel like too much too soon at this point.
• Of all the free scenes this chapter, my favourite has to be the exchange among the four in the picnic en route London.
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I found this particularly interesting because all of these people, so far, have been outside the rigors of the Season in some way or other. Briar is the most outside of this system of doing things: she has grown up completely out of it and will probably always struggle to understand the way things work within the gentry. Luke has spent years in that environment (that of the gentry) so he knows some of it, but he still is and will always be an outsider. Annabelle has grown up in this environment and is perhaps the closest to it, but has never had to take active part due to her association with Harry and the Edgewater Estate. And the MC straddles both these worlds. She is an heiress, part of this high society, but she was born in and more familiar with Briar's worldview. And I love how this scene captures all this in just a few bits of dialogue.
• Also Luke's sensible response to Annabelle's question and Briar being a teasing little imp is super cute, I will fight anyone who disagrees with me on this 😂😂😂
• So many gems nestled in Annabelle's scene guys I can't even. There's so much going on in this one. So much.
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The main thing this scene does is to - without a doubt - establish Annabelle as a closeted lesbian. She's still at the stage where she's aware and finds it odd that she doesn't hold any affection for any man, that the idea itself of marriage frustrates her, and her growing confusion that she's now feeling for a woman all that she "should" be feeling for a man. There are points where she almost welcomes it, like the scene I mentioned earlier, but she still is clearly struggling.
The MC has three ways of responding to this - one where she misses the point completely and says "you haven't found the right man yet" (Marianne, unfortunately), another where she states that she "understands" (which is left open - either it is a gesture of support from an ally, or it is from someone who understands her dilemma to...well...some extent. Florence is the second. She is bi, so her "I understand" was basically "I've fallen for some men sure but I also have a hard time figuring out what my sexuality is"). My favourite is the response where the MC speaks of facing a similar dilemma in her life and is an excellent choice if your MC is also a lesbian. I couldn't use this one for Florence or Marianne because it didn't ring true for either of them, but I did see the screenshots on tumblr and it's quite poignant.
Did You Know: Lesbian/sapphic relationships and sex were not as much seen as illegal as invisible...and this was an attitude that a later monarch, Queen Victoria, would uphold as well, refusing to sign a legislation to criminalize it by insisting that "women do not do such things". Obviously as we all know, she couldn't be any more wrong. Today we know of famous lesbian women of the Regency as Anne Lister, owner of Shibden Hall, and the Ladies of Llangollen - two women from Ireland named Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, who had a romantic relationship for over 50 years. Gail Eastwood, in an article titled "Queer in the Regency: a Slice of Once-Hidden LGBT History" says:
Defying their families, the two established an estate in Wales, called Plas Newydd, rather than enter into marriages with men they did not love. Though they incurred significant debt in order to have a staff, they survived on the generosity of friends until a fascinated Queen Charlotte convinced King George III to grant them a pension.
Plas Newydd became something of a haven for writers during the Regency era, especially since the couple living there could afford to keep it. 
Part of me wonders if elements of this story may be found in the Annabelle x MC route. Or like Anne Lister, who was well-endowed enough financially that she could refrain from marriage and have relationships with women. Maybe, or - given the limitations of having to chart out a storyline that will suit every LI - maybe not. Whatever it is, I'd be very interested in finding out how they'll handle the MC's romance with Annabelle.
• The second most interesting thing is Annabelle speaking about her poetry, and the restrictions her father has kept on her talent. She mentions him looking down on women's poetry as being "all bad rhymes and flowery sentiment", and that - in keeping with the times - he prefers Romantic Age poets such as Wordsworth, and that famous influence on Romanticism, Shakespeare. If we choose to ask her about showing us her poetry, she tells us her writing is "of a...delicate nature" (get it, girl! 😀) and if we choose to encourage her instead, the MC makes references to Mary Wollstonecraft, whose ideas of gender equality were considered radical for the times, and who is seen as one of the earliest feminist icons.
Did You Know: that in a time when female education was mainly geared to prepare women for their domestic roles, Mary Wollstonecraft advocated for women to receive an education that would help them survive beyond the home and the marriage market, stating that the one real barrier in the way of gender equality was the disparity in the education women received compared to men. She says, "this homage to women’s attractions has distorted their understanding to such an extent that almost all the civilized women of the present century are anxious only to inspire love, when they ought to have the nobler aim of getting respect for their abilities and virtues".
Her daughter, Mary Shelley, would write the famous novel Frankenstein in 1818, two years following the events of Desire and Decorum.
• Within this scene also lies a little tidbit that will hold some importance in Chapter 7: the MC tells Annabelle that her mother used to sing in the opera:
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So this could be the root of some of the snarky remarks Henrietta makes about the MC's mother. She has close pretty darn close to calling her a "prostitute" on more than one occasion, and her comment after the MC sang along with Annabelle in chapter 3 about how it was "no wonder" that the MC could sing, given her mother's profession.
Did You Know: Opera singers had a very different reputation in the Regency era, not all of it very positive. Shana Galen, who is described as a Regency adventure author, speaks about how opera singers were viewed at the time: Of course, it was perfectly acceptable for a young lady to show her talents on the pianoforte or to sing in front of a small group of family and friends, but performing on the stage at Drury Lane or Covent Garden were frowned upon.
Female performers, especially, were shunned by society. One example of this sort of attitude was seen in the ridicule faced by a singer named Dorothea Jordan, who had an long-running affair with a Duke, bore him ten children, and who was the subject of a "satirical cartoon that showed her in her bedroom, gazing adoringly at a duchess’ coronet, which she hopes someday to wear by marrying her lover. A map on the wall purports to show the route from “Strolling Lane” (i.e. prostitution) through “Old Drury Common” all the way to “Derbyshire Peak.” A genealogical chart of the nobility lies on her dressing table, and her bed-hangings are crowned by a Phrygian cap, symbol of the French Revolution. The latter is intended to ridicule her pretensions to nobility; as a common woman, let alone an actress, she should know her place" ("Glimpse at Opera during Jane Austen's Lifetime" by Maggi Andersen, for the blog Historical Hearts).
• Luke's scene on the other hand is lighter in content but is important if you look at it from the viewpoint of establishing his role in the MC's life before they reach London. As a neutral friend, he is happy to serve her and considers her a vast improvement over Countess Henrietta. He tells her that she possesses what Henrietta lacks, understands something that Henrietta would never understand in several lifetimes: that looking down on people she believes as her 'inferiors' will leave her at a disadvantage eventually.
But if you hint at having feelings for Luke, the entire mood of the scene changes, and you see him feeling torn between his growing affections for her and his recognition that any relationship beyond the professional will end badly for them all.
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• The thing with both Luke and Annabelle is that to not fall for them is to maintain the status quo. So even if there is an element of attraction, the MC not reciprocating does not tip the delicate balance that governs their lives at Edgewater over. But when she does...it gives rise both to moments of joy...and moments of fear.
• Ooh I love the animation for the train!!
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I mean...just...look at this!
• The MC and Briar get to react in awe to their first sight of London before they get down from the carriage. We find out that we're pretty much stranded on the streets of London and no one has come to pick us up. Gee thanks, stepbro.
• Not gonna lie, but seeing Prince Hamid's shocked!face on his full-body shot made me giggle a little.
• He introduces himself as Imperial Prince Hamid, cousin to "his Imperial Majesty Mahmoud the Second, Caliph of Islam, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, and Custodian of the Two Mosques (the last especially was used in royal titles for many Islamic rulers, and refers to the Al-Haram Mosque (al-Masjid al-Ḥarām) of Mecca, and the Prophet's Mosque (Al-Masjid An-Nabawī) of Medina).
• In a sense he kinda reminds me of Kamilah: he is a fictional character positioned as being related to an actual historical figure, so they will give us plenty of background about the countries they were from (Egypt and Turkey [Istanbul in this case], respectively) but keep the actual historical figure at a distance. Making the fictional character a cousin and a person of an important position in that court is a smart choice to make: they're important enough to represent the royals of the times but distanced enough that it doesn't seem unnatural if they aren't that close and ergo can't tell you personal details about said historical figure.
• Did You Know: Sultan Mahmud II (the cousin Hamid mentions) was seen as quite a progressive ruler of his times. 1829 onwards, he tried to bring many, many reforms into the Ottoman empire, including (according to the Encyclopedia Britannica article on him) "adopting the cabinet system of government, provided for a census and a land survey, and inaugurated a postal service (1834), introducing compulsory primary education, opening a medical school, and sending students to Europe. In addition, the sultan’s right to confiscate the property of deceased officials was abolished, and European dress was introduced". It looks like some elements of this way of thought could be reflected in Hamid, from his talk of diplomacy in his diamond scene.
• Hamid not only positions himself as a bit of an outsider to England but also as a man who travels: talk of travelling and seeing the world is his ice-breaker when they get into the carriage. This will allow him not only to help familiarize the MC with London, and his home Constantinople, but also give her (and us) a view of what the world looks like at this point. For instance, if the MC speaks of even London is unfamiliar territory to her, he mentions the Blue Mosque, the construction of which was completed exactly 200 years prior to the events of the story.
• The other very essential point of this scene is to provide a bit of a parallel to Luke, but also as a counterpoint. Luke is disadvantaged both by his class and his race - ergo he has a very layered perspective. Hamid has privileges, but he is also aware of and in some ways used to the reception he gets in England, and has figured out how he wants to respond. Both Luke and Hamid find their ways to cope with their situation, and the MC is allowed - according to the ethnicity chosen for her - to relate to both.
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Florence, for instance, relates heavily to this as someone is visibly a foreigner even though England is the only home she has ever known. Marianne does not fully understand this, but she can tell him like any decent human being would that she thinks it's wrong of people to treat him that way.
• Just prior to this the two manage to see the Tower of London, notorious for the imprisonment and execution of many, many people including royals and nobles. There is a short but rather poignant conversation on the "many people tortured and murdered over who had the right to sit on the throne" (among the people executed, you will find names like Anne Boleyn, Thomas More, Lady Jane Grey, Guy Fawkes and Walter Raliegh).
• Did You Know: For a long long time in England, executions were seen as a bit of a spectator sport. The more unusual the criminal, the bigger the crowd. The Capital Punishment UK blog speaks of the kind of atmosphere usually present around the time:
In many counties, executions were held on market days to enable the largest number of people to see them and school parties would be made to attend as a moral lesson, something which is certainly recorded as happening at Lancaster Castle.  Public houses and gin shops always did a very brisk trade on a hanging day.  
However, attitudes towards executions experienced a shift around the late 18th-early 19th century, and by 1864 Parliament established a Royal Commission on Capital Punishment, with a declaration that executions would take place inside the prisons rather than in public.
I'm not sure if this was intentional, but possibly the MC's and Hamid's reactions to the tower may be reflective of their times.
• Interestingly, Annabelle is shown to look jealous if you've been romancing her, and giving you a sly grin if you're just friends. I quite liked that little touch. Luke meanwhile is a little less open about how he feels at this point: whether you're romancing him or not, he is described as "watching you carefully" during your exchange with Hamid.
• So Mr Marlcaster got the letter from the Duchess to send a groom for picking the MC, but didn't...as per his mother's demands, surely. But AT LEAST you should have been a little prepared to answer me in case I dropped by anyway, dude? Instead of just standing there and staring at me like a scandalized goldfish.
• Looks like Edmund is still going to try screwing things up for us, and we'll need to find a way to get him on our side. After all, we get relationship points with both him and Theresa Sutton, and Lady Grandmother did tell us we could find a way to get them to be with us rather than against us.
• I'm looking forward to Chapter 5...but it's Chapter 6 I REALLY want to see. We're going to learn a bit more about the MC's mother's background!
General Thoughts:
• OMG so much was there to unpack this chapter!! A lot of it to do with Annabelle and Hamid, and Luke has taken a bit of a backseat this chapter but I'm hoping that's a taster of what's to come in his case.
• Look I love this story but IT COSTS SO MUCH. WTF. Keeping Clover was a nice option but it really added nothing to this chapter and could have easily been shifted elsewhere. I want this book to do well. I'm happy with how they're writing it, the effort they're putting into their research and into their characters so far...and I would hate for it to not be appreciated because they made it so hard for people to get into the book by making it this expensive so early.
• Florence is going for Annabelle and Luke (leaning more towards Annabelle at this point), and Marianne for Hamid and Sinclaire (I'm not sure yet but Hamid is a very very strong contender!!). Who would have thought I'd have my first polyam MCs in a book on Regency Era England!! Who woulda thunk!
• Annabelle particularly intrigues me at this point. She is clearly established as both inside and outside of this system, and vocally critical of it at least to the MC. She writes about her desires against the chargin of her father, and states that she doesn't want to merely settle into a 'safe' relationship like her mother, not unless she can know and trust that person (which is mostly why she agreed to the match with Harry even if she didn't love him). She is confused, and open and honest about her confusion. I really think the foundation of this character is immensely strong, but they really need to keep working on her and not just drop their efforts on her halfway. And I've seen that happen enough times with female LIs to be afraid.
• At this point, we now have three male LIs (one Master of Horse who is African-American, one family-approved eligible bachelor and one prince of the Ottoman Empire) and one female love interest. Is there space for one more confirmed female LI? I sure hope so but at the same time I don't want keep my hopes up.
However...IF the plan is to keep just one female LI, then they'd better do a pretty darn phenomenal job of her. If you're not going to give wlw players other options it's only fair to make sure the only option is given really, really good writing - consistently. They're doing a good job so far...but there's a long long way to go before I can fully trust PB to do justice to her.
• That's it for now! On to Chapter 6!
• Tagged: @boneandfur @liamraines @thespiritpanda @alanakusumastan @ernestsinclairs @private-investigator-nazario @bcdollplace @thedepthsremember @mcbangle @queenodysseia @novaelaras
If you'd like to be tagged on these QTs, do let me know! 😀
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