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lavenderspence · 3 months ago

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unexplained sadness | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader | Word Count: 2.5K

Content warning: pre-established relationship, depression, mental health struggles, mentions of therapy, angst, supportive!aaron

Summary: you've struggled to find a way out from under the darkness for years, but you were thankful he offered the final push you needed.

A/N: I drafted this a few days, contemplating if I should even post it. it's very self-indulgent. I wrote it at a time when I wasn't able to understand my own feelings, and im still not sure how. I think this is the realest my writing has been, but i do think I'm posting this with the most vulnerability as well. I want you all to remember, just in case you're struggling - you're amazing, you're enough and I believe in you. Life is crazy, but it will get better, allow yourself to be patient, and most importantly, take the greatest, most gentle care of yourself 💕

masterlist

You looked around, well aware of the amount of relief that should be flooding your body right now. It usually did at the end of a case, where another monster was put to rot in a cage much appropriate for its’ sins.

But even knowing what you should be feeling, the simple truth was - you weren’t feeling anything at all, and you hadn’t for a while.

And even when you did feel something, you could never explain it. It was a mess, where many emotions fought a battle, but in the end, all it came down to was an endless void where the darkness and despair of the unexplained won out.

The only thing you could feel at that moment was the pressure of the vest compressing against your chest. It stole the little amount of oxygen in your lungs in favor of an overwhelming amount of hidden sadness.

Even with the sun high up in the sky and the warmth it was supposed to spread all over your skin, you felt cold - no warmth actually penetrated the top layer of your skin. And the chatter - EMTs, police officers, and outlookers, you couldn’t process anything at all.

It was like you were standing there, like a statue, a headstone to remind everyone of your presence once upon a time, but not anymore. Physically, you were alive and aware, but mentally, you’ve been fighting a battle you could confidently admit you were losing.

Your thoughts were deeply wrapped in a cobweb of confusion and melancholy, a never-ending cycle that couldn’t stop repeating itself. It felt like you didn’t exist outside the realm of your own despair. Each day the shadows around you persisted in their pursuit of you, dragging in with them this empty feeling, designed to leave you feeling like a loner.

The string holding you tethered to the person you’d been before was tinning each day as the distance between you grew bigger and bigger. You no longer even felt her presence at all. For weeks you’ve fought a silent battle against your own mind, and even your body sometimes.

You tried to hide behind a mask of fake smiles and nights spent around the people you trusted most, hoping you’d feel better, but you never did. You only felt this state you were in, as it gained speed and grew in volume.

But there was a certain pair of eyes that saw the subtle changes in you, straight into a place even you couldn’t see. Warm chocolate, sometimes shining amber in the sun - somehow strict but also oh so soft.

You thought you hid it well, but you could never hide yourself from him, and you should have known.

Your hotel room was dark and quiet, safe for the gentle light and sound that came from the TV. A movie was playing, an early 2000s song in the background. The duvet felt heavy over your body, and you longed to kick it off in an effort to feel less trapped, but you couldn’t find the strength to. It was like your whole body was paralyzed in a fatal position with your muscles locked and your eyes open but unseeing.

Case after case came, and each day it got harder. You had to try and perfect a mask you were getting tired of wearing, tired of hiding behind. You couldn’t skip work, lest you wanted to feel like more of a failure than you already did sometimes.

You felt scared to admit to your struggles, half unsure what your struggles were to begin with, half unwilling to unload on others. You were willing to suffer and fight this on your own until you either had nothing left to fight against or no strength left to fight at all.

Your mind was working overtime, half empty and dark, half full and constantly spinning, you didn’t even process the foreign sound at first. Only it wasn’t so foreign - a series of gentle raps or someone’s knuckles against the door. Knocking. They were just enough to alert you of a newcoming presence but not disturb you or others in any way.

You didn’t move a muscle. Even when two more knocks followed, even more gentle than the first, all you could do was blink. Even with the soft call of your name that came seconds later, you couldn’t find the strength to answer or even get up. You couldn’t even twitch.

You stood there frozen in place, in time. Frozen between the walls of a prison of your own mind’s making.

The knocks stopped, as did the voice calling out your name, maybe finally resigned to the fact you weren’t answering at all.

Giving up on you the way you’d given up on yourself.

You would be surprised if you didn’t feel a tiny bit of relief at being left on your own. Too bad the relief didn’t actually last long - just seconds after the lock beeped, signaling it was unlocked, and the door was slowly opening, bathing the room in the hallway light.

Even with the small, hesitant steps this person took, you were instantly able to tell by the sounds of his feet hitting the wooden floor who it was.

“Did you know it’s actually illegal to break into someone’s space?” Your voice came out raspy from misuse. You weren’t sure how much time had actually passed since you made it to your room, but if you had to guess, probably several hours had gone by.

“I do know that actually, it’s criminal law 101.” He retorted before you felt the mattress dip close to your feet, “You missed dinner.” He mussed.

A part of you couldn’t handle having a conversation with him, not right now. Not in the complete darkness, and the quiet stretched between you both.

“I wasn’t hungry.” You answered simply. You waited for him to say something, and you waited and waited, and he wasn’t saying anything. It was like he was looking for the right words to use, so as not to offend you, or set you off. But you wouldn’t feel any of it if he did - just as the night was dark outside and so was your mind.

“Just spit it out, Hotch.” You finally used a part of his name, unintentionally closing the distance the smallest bit even when you tried to stay away. Maybe subconsciously you knew you could trust him, if a little.

“You’re not doing well.”

You didn’t even hesitate. “Wow, way to show you aren't actually a gentleman.”

“I’m not trying to...” You could almost see him shaking his head, so in tune with his reactions from years of working alongside him, “I’m worried about you.” It left him in a whisper, like he was afraid to admit it.

“I’m okay, there’s no need.” You denied it like it was your biggest defense against his accusations. Except they weren’t that, genuine worry dripped along with his words, but you had a hard time accepting it. You couldn’t, didn’t want to. Being vulnerable, especially in front of him, could cost you a lot, and with the way you’ve been living, you couldn’t afford it.

Even when deep in your heart you trusted him with everything, even yourself.

You felt him place his hand on the duvet, enclasping his palm around your calf. “You were okay five weeks ago, and you haven’t been since then. I’ve been watching you wear a mark and barely holding yourself from falling apart. I don’t think ‘okay’ applies right now.”

“I thought we promised not to profile each other.” You muttered brokenly, feeling parts of the mask he was talking about cracking in places. It was like having him so close, peeling your outer layers slowly, and leaving you exposed, finally making your emotional reactions coincide with your lack of understanding. It was like he was exposing all of you both to himself and you too.

“Not at the expense of suffering in silence, we didn’t.” He answered with conviction, no hesitation. He was making it apparent your wellbeing was more important to him than any promise he might have made to you or others. He was letting you know he was prioritizing your health over everything else.

He understood you even without you having to say anything. Just by watching you try to swim to the surface of the ocean and still being pushed by the crashing waves, he could already feel that you were struggling.

He could see you were self-isolating, even when you were being surrounded by people. He picked up on the signs in the subtle subject changes you made whenever someone asked anything about you. You were unwilling to share, even though you loved sharing any little detail about your interest, allowing others to do the same.

You let Garcia talk about her software and cute animals and allowed Reid to share any little fact with you he could. But even when you listened, it wasn’t hard to see you really weren’t. Staring into spaces or faking an interest, even though he knew you would be interested in the first place, had there not been anything amis to begin with.

And slowly piece after piece had started falling together, like a puzzle started, yet left abandoned.

In the darkness of the hotel room, miles away from your home and mere doors down from the rest of your team, a piece deep inside you started longing for the understanding he was offering. It started building up with worry over the reality of the words you knew you needed to say but were too scared to. It started wishing for a new slate, where the overwhelming amount of confusion and empty darkness no longer followed you like a shadow.

It slowly started coming to terms with the fact that you weren’t enough to fight this on your own and that maybe you needed help to do so.

For the first time in weeks, months, who knew, maybe even years, you wanted to talk about it. You wanted to admit to your state of mind where reality got mangled with your deepest darkest thoughts imaginable, where self-doubt and the feeling of worthlessness took over. Where giving up sounded so much better than trying out again. Where any positivity was instantly turned into negativity whether you liked it or not.

For the first time you craved being helped, you wanted to understand your own struggles and get better. You wanted to thrive in the life you were living instead of settling for simply existing. You wanted to talk, and you wanted to tell him all that.

You rolled your lips between your teeth before you bit down until you tasted blood. One of your hands barely made it out from underneath the warmth of the duvet before you grabbed into the bedding with a tight fist.

“I don’t think I’m doing okay, Aaron.” You whispered into the darkness. The bed dipped and groaned as he moved closer, settling just centimeters away from your cocoon this time. You were so busy looking over the skyline that you didn’t even see his hand move until you felt his warm palm overtop your skin. He held onto you, trying to prompt you into releasing the bedding, tapping his fingers in a gentle manner.

He was offering you comfort without really saying or doing anything. He was letting you try and put your thoughts together before you entrusted him with the truth.

“One minute I’m good, and the next it feels like I lose all touch with my own self and my feelings - It’s all empty, or an overwhelming amount of sadness I couldn’t begin to even understand. I can’t even grasp what prompts this sudden change. I’ve tried fighting it for so long, years maybe, and each time it comes back, I’m left feeling more hopeless than the last.” You explained in a small voice.

A wave of relief, if small, rocked your whole body. There was something freeling about saying it out loud, ignoring the fear of admitting that had followed you for years.

“Have you ever told anyone about it?” His voice was just another shadow in the room. A timbre so calm, quiet, and soothing that you knew he was listening with no reservations and no judgments. Just a pure need to help.

You went to shake your head, but remembered you were both still looking towards the window. “I’ve always played it off as a joke. I’ve never let it sound like I really mean it. Not like I do right now.” It was one of the many truths you’d admitted to that night. Even when you played it off, you knew deep inside it was a small cry for help you didn’t want to. You were unwilling to take the right steps in order to get the help you needed.

“Why joke about it?” You thought about it for a second, trying to clear out the fog of the past.

“I guess…” Your fingers clenched underneath his own. “I guess I just wanted to see if anyone cared enough to ask if I was serious. They didn’t.” Realistically, you knew you shouldn’t wait on other people or expect them to see something amiss before you looked for help. But a part deep enough inside you wanted the reassurance that someone loved you enough to notice.

“But you want to get help?” He mumbled, still tapping his finger against your own.

“Yes.” You didn’t even have to think about it. You owed yourself that much, and all the help possible you could get.

“Okay.” He exhaled in relief, “As soon as we get back, we’ll start looking, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You whispered. You felt his hand squeeze your own in reassurance. You turned your palm up, enveloped his own hand, and gave him one back, “Thank you, Aaron.”

A few minutes of looking at the starless sky passed before he prompted you to move, if just enough to walk into the bathroom and wash your face - and you did. When you came back, he’d made himself comfortable leaning against the headboard, legs stretched on the mattress.

He spent the night sleeping in yesterday’s clothes, trying to make sure you were doing okay and weren’t left feeling lonely.

You knew there was a long path ahead of you - the path to self-understanding and acceptance of your own flaws and struggles, as well as the changes you may need to adapt to moving forward. Something you were undoubtedly going to have a hard time with. Where you’d need to fight against the days when you questioned whether it was worth it. Where you’d slowly have to come to terms with the fact that as long as you were making yourself happy and keeping yourself afloat, there wasn’t anything worth more.

The path to recovery was never supposed to be easy or linear, but you had him to thank for being the final push. You had to be thankful for each minute of the time he gave you. And each grain of love he showed you in the process.

You needed the help - for yourself, your past, your present, and your future self. And for every second you spent failing to understand the person you were and the feelings you held onto.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

#aaron hotchner x fem!reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you #hotchner x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst

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tsumuus · 6 months ago

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Kuroo stood in his apartment, the weight of the silence pressing down on him like an anchor. The dim light from the setting sun cast long shadows across the room, painting everything in hues of orange and gold. He could hear the faint hum of the city outside, but it felt distant, like a world he no longer belonged to.

He ran a hand through his messy black hair, trying to make sense of the turmoil inside his head. Memories of you flooded his mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of what he had lost. The laughter you shared, the quiet moments of understanding, the way your eyes lit up when you saw him- it all felt so real, so vivid. But reality was a harsh contrast.

You had broken up with him a month ago. The words still echoed in his mind, a constant reminder of his failure to keep you. "I can't do this anymore, Tetsuro. The distance... it's too much." Your voice had been laced with sorrow, and he could see the pain in your eyes as you spoke. He had wanted to reach out, to hold you, to tell you that everything would be okay, but he had been paralyzed by the weight of your words.

His job had taken him away from you, and no matter how hard he tried to balance everything, it had never been enough. The late- night calls that turned into missed calls, the visits that grew shorter and less frequent- it had all chipped away at what you had. He had tried to ignore the signs, to pretend that everything was fine, but deep down, he had known it was only a matter of time.

Kuroo walked over to the couch and sank into it, the cushions feeling too empty without you beside him. He stared at the coffee table, cluttered with remnants of your life together- a mug you had left behind, a book you had been reading, a photo of the two of you from happier times. He reached for the photo, his fingers tracing the outline of your smile. You looked so happy, so full of life. He wondered if you still smiled like that, or if the breakup had taken that away from you too.

He closed his eyes, trying to hold onto the image of your smile, but it slipped away, replaced by the look of sadness you had worn the last time he saw you. The lines between memory and reality blurred, and he struggled to distinguish between what was real and what was just a figment of his imagination. Sometimes, in the quiet moments of the night, he could almost hear your voice, feel your presence beside him. It was a cruel trick his mind played on him, offering him a sliver of hope only to snatch it away.

He had always prided himself on being strong, on being able to handle whatever life threw at him. But this- losing you- was something he couldn't accept. He loved you too much to let go, to move on. He replayed every moment in his mind, every argument, every tender touch, every promise made and broken. He couldn't help but wonder if he could have done something differently, if he could have fought harder to keep you.

a/n short blurb i wrote while i was away on vacay but im back now lol

masterlist

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #x reader #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #hq kuroo #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kurro tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro haikyuu #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo tetsuro angst

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sturnstars5 · 2 months ago

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i love you, i’m sorry-matt sturniolo

you and matt swore you were done, but are you?

warnings: fluff, swearing, happy ending

*there is a flashback in the story it’s in blue!*

empty. emptiness was what you felt. it had been two weeks since you left the love of your life, matt. you try to tell yourself, “well, it was his fault” or “i’ll be better off without him, it’ll just take time”, but nothing worked. you missed him.

you sat on your couch, something you had been doing more than usual lately, and stared outside through the window. you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything other than overthink. you would replay the moments of you and matt’s breakup argument in your mind, like it was a movie on loop 24/7. and just when you would feel a sliver of joy, the movie would start again, leaving you to drown in self pity.

it was getting late, so you picked yourself up off of the couch and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t exactly on your side.

it was about 1:30 am, and you were still awake when you heard your front door creak open.

what the fuck?

you sat straight up and froze, paralyzed in fear, not knowing what to to next. normally, matt would take control and go see what was happening, but he wasn’t there. he was gone.

you hear the persons foot steps get louder and louder until you hear them stop right in front of your bedroom door.

the door opened slowly, revealing a puffy eyed, sad looking matt.

he looked awful to say the least, he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. his face was all swollen, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them. his face was glistening with tears, and his nose was runny.

“matt,” you say.

“i know, i should’ve called, im sorry.”

“you almost gave me a heart attack! do you know what time it is?”

“yes, i know, okay? i said im sorry.”

“why are you here matt, i thought we were over.”

“i know that’s what we said, but i cant stop thinking about you, about us.”

“matt,”

“i know, y/n, i know what i did was wrong. going to that party was a whole wrong decision in itself. but i still love you, y/n.”

“but matt, you pinky swore you wouldn’t cheat, and you broke it! how am i supposed to trust you now?”

“i don’t know, i just hope you can find it in your heart to give me one more chance.”

you think back to the night you found out about the party…

1:00 am, 2:15 am, 3:40 am, matt still wasn’t home. he said he was filming with his brothers, and you believed him. you called him, and he didn’t answer,m. you then called nick and chris, and they didn’t answer either. you give up, just telling yourself that their phones died, and you go scroll on instagram in your bed. nick posted a picture of himself and chris at a party.

where was matt?

you look harder, only to see matt’s lips pressed against another girl. her hands threading through his soft brown hair. matt was yours, so why was he with her?

matt arrived home, drunk, stumbling lazily into your shared bedroom.

“hey baby.” he says with a smirk.

“don’t call me that, matthew.”

“what the fuck is your deal, y/n?”

“this!” you say, throwing your phone in his face. you’re zoomed in on him and the other girl, matt looking at the photo. even his drunken state cant cover up the guilt and regret in his mind.

“who’s that?” he says, lying.

“that’s you, matt! who else would it be? you know what you did matt, and i know too. i’m not as dumb as you think i am.”

“it was just one kiss, so what? it was a party, and we were needy and drunk.”

“have you lost your fucking mind, matt?

“no i haven’t, but clearly you have, bitch!”

“i’m not gonna be talked to like this by my own boyfriend, so get out.”

“what?”

“i said, get. out. matt. we’re done.”

“come on, don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”

“get out! now!”

“y/n?” you hear matt say softly.

you snap out of your memory, taking a second to focus back on reality.

“listen, y/n, i’m not asking for you to let your guard down again and take me back, i just guess i want you to know that i love you, and that im sorry.”

matt stares at you, his face full of desperation and vulnerability, and most of all, regret. a single tear rolls down his face, dropping on the floor as it falls off.

“do you promise to be loyal, matt?”

“yes, of course i do. i wont screw it up this time.”

“i’m serious matt, i cant take that again. i cant go through that again.”

“i promise.”

“okay then.”

“so, what now?” matt asks.

“do you wanna, maybe try again?” you ask softly.

“yes. i swear i wont fuck it all up this time.” matt replies.

you and matt hug, and for the first time in a while, you feel genuinely happy and loved.

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too matt.”

kind of a rushed fic but wtv!!

#Spotify #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #chris smut #chris sturiolo fanfic #chris x y/n #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matt stuniolo fanfic #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt x reader #christopher owen sturniolo

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cinnamostar · 1 year ago

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drunken confession

pairing : jeongin x gn!reader

summary : jeongin is hopelessly in love with his best friend and finds himself drunkenly confessing his love

wc : 3.2k (got carried away)

cw : unrequited love (soz), best friends, angst, sadness, alcohol/drinking, allusion to hook ups, non idol!au, post college, let me know if i missed anything

a/n : this wasn’t suppose to be very long. I kinda hate the ending but let me know whatcha think! also im still on my phone so i apologize for any mistakes made :’)

jeongin sighs heavily, vexation all over his face as he watches you from a distance, the empty seat in front of him mocking his lonesomeness. his grip on the now empty cup of coffee tightens in frustration, his knuckles turning white as the poor disposable cup collapses onto itself due to his strength, while yours still remains full on the other side of the table, likely losing all its warmth at this point.

he couldn’t quite understand what he was feeling and what he has been feeling the past few months, but it was becoming extremely irritating to constantly feel this sinking feeling in his chest whenever your attention was ripped away from him. he hated the bitter taste that filled his mouth every time you’d talk to him about your latest date, how he had to force a smile, and pretend he was happy for you even though he could feel his stomach churn over every detail you shared. it was miserable, it was becoming unbearable as time went on, yet there was no way he could ever resist an opportunity to spend time with you.

despite the difficult emotions of jealousy, the moments where he was able to have you all to himself, he felt like he was floating through time and that the stresses of life no longer existed. the impeding doom of growing up and adulthood was nowhere to be found when he was with you, as you always infected him with childlike joy and laughter he dearly missed. your very presence had become absolutely addicting, finding himself craving your radiance and wanting nothing more to bask under the warmth of your personality.

somehow, you were able to create to this addicting cocktail of placidity and nervousness that he downed every day without hesitation. one that made him fidget with bubbling shyness and excitement, yet he had complete trust in your willingness to accept him wholly with no reservations. he knew your gentle touch would handle his glass heart gingerly, never daring to overlook a single scratch or mark on it, yet you had no idea that recently, you’ve been the cause and remedy of the microscopic cracks and tears his heart had been weathering. the naked eye would never be able to notice how your ignorance to his unwavering devotion to you brutalized his tender heart, how your inability to recognize his undying love for you was slowly causing his resolve to crumble down as he struggled to contain the truth of his emotions. and despite your lack of awareness, the flustering butterflies you’d inject him with would cause his entire body to overheat, turning him into a blushing mess, which ultimately melted away the very fissures you created. the constant push and pull of this relationship was becoming exhausting and jeongin knew he needed to say something soon, as it wasn’t your fault your best friend kept his true feelings clandestine from you.

but how? jeongin knew every detail of your love life, he had witnessed you go through countless partners, and he was certain he was far off your image of a potential suitor. he had his full trust in you, knowing that if you didn’t return those very feelings, it would never change the nature of your friendship with him, however the fear of rejection was absolutely paralyzing. he wasn’t afraid of losing his friendship with you, but he no longer knew if he could trust himself to not let it drastically impact your relationship with him, not knowing what an inevitable heartbreak would do to him. his silence was his prison, and fear was his captor.

especially now, something as simple as you catching up with an old classmate at the cafe you are both at sends his mind into a seething frenzy of jealousy and insecurity. he has no idea who this person is, but he hates witnessing how much they make you laugh and how they would so inconspicuously brush a hand against your arm in some lame flirtatious attempt. he doesn’t like how much you’re enjoying the conversation, and is desperately pleaing to whatever divine entity there is to smite that person away. he should be the one making you giggle so bashfully right now, not that guy.

eventually, you make your return to jeongin, but he doesn’t miss the fact that you just exchanged numbers with that mystery man. “ah, sorry about that! i didn’t realize how much time had gone by,” you apologize sheepishly, taking your seat while lifting the now lukewarm coffee to your mouth.

jeongin does his best to push aside the whirlwind of emotions he had just gone through, “it’s okay, it happens,” he shrugs off convincingly, “who was that?”

“that was minho! he was an old classmate of mine! we worked on a group project together in freshman year,” you respond with a playful smile tugging on your lips, “he’s kinda cute, hm?”

internally, jeongin could feel himself fall to his knees and scream, but instead, all he does is hum in agreement. “he’s pretty good looking,” his eyes avoiding your gaze, “i assume you got his number?”

you chuckle at his question, “of course i did!”

“nice,” is all he could muster out as he does his best to ignore the acidic taste jealousy that was traveling up from his gut.

“mhm, maybe i’ll text him and see if he wants to go on a date tonight or something,” you muse, “what do you think?”

jeongin finally looks into your eyes with furrowed eyebrows, “tonight?”

“yeah, why not tonight?”

“y/n, we have plans tonight,” he reminds you, exasperation in his voice, “we’re suppose to go out to celebrate felix landing that job.”

your lips round out into an ‘o’ shape, “ooh, you’re right… i definitely forgot, im sorry! i guess that’s for another day.”

he rolls his eyes, both jokingly and with annoyance, “you can get laid another time,” but you don’t miss the layer of spite in jeongin’s tone.

you raise your eyebrows in confusion, “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” he mumbles while forcing a smile, yet you’re able to see through it.

“no, something’s wrong. i can tell,” you press on, “what is it? lately you’ve been so… agitated? i thought you were just stressed with work, so i wasn’t going to bring it up, but i’m starting to get worried, jeongin.”

right, you always were quick to pick up on jeongin’s mood, even if it was the slightest change, yet somehow you couldn’t pick up on the one thing he prayed for you to notice. “it’s nothing,” he responds, wishing nothing more for the topic to be changed, “don’t worry about it.”

“you know i’m going to worry about it anyway.”

“i know, i’m sorry, it’s just…” he pauses for a moment, anxiety filling him as he tried to search for some excuse you’d accept, “i’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

“that’s okay, but you know i’m always here for you. promise you’ll let me know what’s going on when you’re ready?” you ask sweetly, a delicate smile of concern adorning your features as you hold out your pinky finger, “pinky promise?”

he lets out a breathy laugh, unable to suppress a loving smile at your antics as the resentment he felt earlier washes away under your inviting warmth, “pinky promise.”

જ⁀➴ જ⁀➴ જ⁀➴

the night arrives sooner than jeongin was prepared for, and he was way more buzzed than he planning on being. felix insisted on everyone taking a shot as soon as they arrived, even ordering 3 more rounds after that. it was safe to say that no one in the group was sober, but it seems like everyone was enjoying their time as they all cheer and clink their fourth shot of the night.

jeongin takes it upon himself to stay by your side the entire night, making sure you wouldn’t get yourself into any trouble in your drunken state, although he wasn’t the most reliable person in the room at the moment.

jeongin’s entire body is hot to the touch, likely the affects of the alcohol getting to him, but the drunken, lazy smile you flash him every now and then did not helping the growing red blush forming across his face. luckily, no one would expect you being the cause of his reddening face, but he was becoming uncomfortable sweaty as the night progresses.

perhaps it was his inebriated state, but jeongin often finds himself staring shamelessly at you, his heart overwhelming itself with affection at how stunning you look under the lowlights of the bar. there’s a subtle, yet enticing glow the alcohol brings out of you and he was absolutely enjoying how relaxed you seem in these moments. his heart would flutter and soar to the sky every time you’d laugh at one of his jokes, the way your eyes would become crescents and your nose would scrunch up caused him to bubble up with pride, and it had become his personal mission to continue to elicit that reaction from you.

although, much like other outings, something or someone would steal his spotlight and become the center of your attention. and it was just his luck that your old classmate, minho, happened to come to the same bar that night to celebrate something with his own friends.

usually, jeongin would be suffering from some case of anger and jealousy, but at this very moment, he wears a pitiful pout with somber eyes, his gaze catching the upsetting sight of you and minho flirtatiously giggling across the bar. he can feel himself sink deeper into his sadness, especially with the way you were leaning into minho every time he made you laugh, the way your hand would playfully swat his shoulder, god, did he wish that was him. how he envied the proximity you and minho were sharing, his heart trembling each time minho would lean into your ear to whisper something with a smirk, which clearly left you in a flustered state as you hid your face behind your hands.

this was an awfully cruel punishment, and he wonders what he had done in his past life to deserve this fate. eventually, a concerned chan notices the melancholic expression jeongin was wearing, and after following his line of sight, he was quick to connect the dots. the older man takes a seat next to jeongin and rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, “you like them, right?” he asks, using his other hand to point in your direction.

jeongin turns to chan, nodding his head while mumbling a hushed yes. chan offers a sympathetic smile, “and you haven’t told them?” again, jeongin can only shake his head, unable to produce a verbal response in fear his voice is would come out in a croaked sob.

“what’s stopping you?”

jeongin furrows his eyebrows at the ridiculous question chan asked, “why would i ever tell them when they’re clearly not into me?”

chan shrugs his shoulders, “well, you never really know. even if they don’t return your feelings, wouldn’t confessing help you move on? better yet, what if they do feel the same way? there’s only one way to find out.”

jeongin’s drunken brain was too fried to properly process chan’s words, turning his attention back to you and minho as he burns holes into minho’s head. “you’re telling me i have a chance? when they’re all over that guy?”

chan’s face cringes at the sight, “i mean…” he pauses, “you might..?” he says with uncertainty coloring his voice.

“you’re not a great hype man, chan,” jeongin responds dryly.

“hey! i’m trying to help while also being realistic with you,” he exclaims while raising his hands up defensively.

jeongin sighs, “i know, it just… it just sucks.”

suddenly, jeongin notices you leaving minho’s side and are now approaching his table. chan takes note of this, patting jeongin’s back as he makes his exit, “i’ll leave you to it,” leaving him with a small wink.

you appear in front of jeongin with a giddy smile on your face, leaning into his ear to whisper, “hey, i think i’m heading out now.”

he snaps his head to you, narrowing his eyes, “what?”

“yeah, with minho!” you respond coyly, unable to hide the widening grin on your face.

“y/n, no, you’re way too drunk right now,” he replies sternly, grabbing hold of your wrist before you try to make an escape.

a whine escapes you, “but jeongin! i’ve done this before, i’ll be okay. plus, he’s drunk too!”

“no,” he huffs, “i’m not letting you. besides, you’re suppose to be here for felix, not minho.”

“i’m sure felix wouldn’t mind!”

“i definitely do mind!” his voice raises as the anger he had been suppressing finally makes its appearance.

you’re taken aback by this, worry etching onto your features once more, “are you okay?” you ask, confused as to why jeongin now cares about this, as usually he has been rather supportive of your adventures in the past.

jeongin’s not thinking before he speaks, and he swears his drunkenness is going to get him in big trouble as he curtly replies to your question, “no, no i’m not and i haven’t been for awhile. but who cares, y/n. just go have fun with your hook up.”

your mouth drops open in surprise, “jeongin, what’s wrong? talk to me,” you’re slurring over your words, but your eyes are wide with worry and concern for your best friend who was clearly being afflicted by something. “minho can wait, jeongin. what has you so upset right now?”

“i-“ jeongin squeezes his eyes in frustration, trying to bite back his response as he rubs his temples, feeling a headache come on. “you! you’re what’s wrong!” he moans out, mentally cursing at himself as he watches himself create a mess.

“… me?”

“yes, you.”

you were silent as you watch jeongin put his head down on the table, your brain trying to understand jeongin’s few words, but the alcohol was doing a number on your thinking, struggling to come to any understanding. “i’m… i’m sorry?”

“it’s not your fault,” he mumbles, still hiding his face from your gaze, “it’s my own fault. it’s not your fault that i’m an idiot.”

“no, you’re not dumb, jeongin,” you reply, “look at me. tell me what i did.”

jeongin sighs, peeling himself from the table he was slumping over to meet your concerned eyes. “nothing. you did nothing, but…” he stops himself, unsure whether he should continue with his words as a surge of nerves causes his body to run cold. the anxious anticipation filling him as the words were just on the tip of his tongue, his heart pounding through his chest as his eyes struggle to focus on yours.

“but what?”

he bites his lip as his heart clamors away in his chest, the loud chatter of the bar suddenly fading away in the background as his face grows warmer than before. is this really happening? is he really going to say it right here, right now? while you both are far from being sober? this is not how ever envisioned this moment going, this was far from it and was plenty less romantic than he would’ve liked it to be, but his mind didn’t care about the current circumstances and was operating purely off the raw emotions his body was feeling. reason and logic had flown out the window, and the liquid courage was going to force him into a confession he was not prepared for.

“i’m in love with you.”

the world stills as soon as the words left his mouth, which instantly dries from the nervousness he was feeling. his hands slightly shaking as he tried to examine your face as frantic energy takes over his once angry demeanor. your face pales at his confession, your mouth twitching as you try to conjure up an appropriate response in that moment, but he knew from the lack of excitement in your face that you did not feel the same way about him. his heart ached and writhed in pain, one he always prepared for mentally, but the anguish was far more greater than he could’ve imagined as his chest collapses onto itself, his breath becoming shallow as he held back the ugly sobs threatening to spill out his lips.

“i’m so sorry, jeongin, i… i’ve never thought of you that way,” you ramble apologetically as your wore a pitying face.

jeongin only nods, shooing you off with a hand, not fully trusting himself to open speak.

“jeongin…”

“its okay,” he whispers in a quivering voice, hurt reverberating from each syllable, tears slipping down his rosy cheeks “just… go. it’s okay.”

part of you feels wrong to leave your best friend a sobbing mess all alone, wanting nothing more to comfort him, but you knew it was best to respect his wishes when you were the cause of his pain. “okay,” you whisper, a layer of guilt washing over you as you rush over to chan, whispering in his ear asking if he would watch over jeongin for the rest of the night. chan reassures he’ll be okay and that he’ll take care of him, not before asking you where you were headed. “ah, i’ll just go home… i don’t really think i should be here anymore,” you respond.

chan opens his mouth with raised brows “with that guy?” he inquiries, pointing towards minho.

the question earns chan a stern look from you, “i’m not that mean, no, not with him. i’m taking an uber home…. alone...”

chan laughs, “hey, i’m not judging if you do… you know…” quickly making an inappropriate motion with his hands that causes to slap his arm.

“chan.”

“just saying! nothing wrong with it, but don’t worry, he’ll be in good hands! i’ll let pretty boy know you went home alone, definitely not with that guy.”

“please be serious,” you plead, not wanting to rub salt on jeongin’s wound.

“alright, don’t worry about it. i got it,” he promises, waving you off as he walks back to a tearful jeongin whose slouched in his seat. “hey bud,” he whispers affectionately, wrapping a secure arm around his shoulders, “it didn’t work out, but i’m proud of you for doing it. it’s okay, this will pass too.”

jeongin wipes his tears away, taking a deep breath in to steady his voice as he sits himself up, “it’s fine, it’s fine. i’ll get over it soon enough.”

“right, you will.”

“just sucks a lot right now.”

“it does, but it’ll pass.”

“they’re going to fuck him anyway, right?”

“no comment.”

jeongin groans once more, throwing his head back while he sniffles. he knew his chances with you were nonexistent from the start, he saw this coming long ago, but it didn’t change how agonizing the pain of heartbreak was, and he foolishly realized all the time he spent avoiding it only worsened its blow. perhaps he should’ve ripped the bandage off sooner, but at the end of the day, it was his fault for falling in love with his best friend who never showed an ounce of interest in him. though, somehow, even if you were the one to break his heart, he knew you’d be the one to help him mend it once more.

#cinnamostar writes #jeongin x reader #yang jeongin x reader #i.n x reader #skz i.n #skz i.n x reader #skz jeongin #skz jeongin x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids jeongin #stray kids x reader #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz scenarios #skz angst #stray kids angst

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tziporarosen · 11 months ago

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Delicate Flames

Synopsis: In the desolate snowy mountains, a weary traveler, lost from her security after an accident in a snowstorm, stumbles upon a remote hut and barn. Desperate for warmth and assistance, she knocks on the door only to be confronted by Sevika, a rugged and wary blacksmith wielding a sharp blade. Despite initial tension, the traveler, named “Emilia”, pleads for help, concealing her royal identity. As they share a meal, “Emilia's” presence triggers a sense of familiarity in Sevika, who harbors resentment towards authority. As they converse, Sevika's suspicions grow, prompting “Emilia” to fabricate details about her origins. Despite their differences, “Emilia's” curiosity about Sevika's solitary lifestyle leads her to request joining her in the blacksmith's workshop. Their interaction intensifies as Sevika helps “Emilia” remove her corset, revealing dangerous discovery.

men and minors DNI

Sevikaxf!reader, !topSevikaxbottomf!reader, smut, reader loses her virginity, reader uses a fake name, sevika has a metal arm, AU, set in 19th century, praisekink, marking, spanking?, im new to this lol

The snow in between your toes was beginning to feel like fire burning through your thin shoes, stinging each cell of your skin as you walked, and walked… and walked, searching for any sign of life. For the first time in your life, you were grateful for the corset around your chest and waist, holding all your heat in, saving you from freezing to death. Reaching the top of the steep hill, you pant heavily to catch your breath as your chest heaves under the metal cage around you. Once you recollect your breath, you lift your head as tears warm your red cheeks in excitement. You let out a sob of relief as your eyes lock on the hut at the bottom of the hill accompanied with a large barn beside it, warm yellow light glistening through the windows. Ignoring the pain shooting through your entire core, you run as fast as you can, your energy somehow rejuvenated by the new found hope in front of you.

“Help! Is there anyone there?” you called out desperately as you banged your fists on the curved wooden door, each knock echoing in the empty fields around you.

“Who sent you?” a voice questions from behind you as something presses on your back, its sharpness digging right into your spine. Your heart in your gut, you shift slowly but quickly halt as she digs her blade into your back, causing you to put your arms up in surrender. “Move and at best you'll be paralyzed until the end of time, I imagine you can envision the worst case scenario” she warns. Her voice was gruff, yet so silky and stern that it made your fear conflicted on how to feel.

“Don’t hurt me, I'm lost, I just need to find my way home” you blurt out helplessly, hoping your tired and desperate voice will convince her of your innocence. You weren’t ready to die trying to survive, not when you've gotten this far. “I don't know where I am, who you are, or who could have sent me, but I promise you I just need help” you pleaded clearly, feigning a little confidence to not incriminate yourself with begging.

Your conviction seemed to work as she lowered her weapon slowly, allowing you to let out your first breath in what felt like an eternity. “What's your name?” she interrogated as you turned to face her slowly.

Your stomach was shouting at you to eat while churning at the question that was so simple yet so dangerous. You finally get the chance to see your avoided undoing, both of you frozen at the other's appearance. The tall woman stared down at you, taken aback by your features as you caught yourself admiring what towered over you. She wore a stained beige short-sleeve shirt with a leather apron draped over her muscular body, her arms on display under the t-shirt, its hems ripping around the v neck-line. It caught you off guard as you caught a glimpse of her right arm, metal claws replacing fingers, mechanical plates for a forearm, crafted so perfectly, it looked futuristic. Her brown skin was coated in ash and gray dust, burns and scratches poking through the dirt on her skin, her short hair was tucked in a half bun as little hairs rested on her forehead. Her hands were covered by worn out leather gloves as one held the magnificent sword, completely contradicting her attire and appearance. Your mind cogs for a name to give her as her lips curve lightly, waiting for you to give her an answer to her simple question.

“Emilia, my name is Emilia,” you blurt out in a stammer, smiling as you finish your sentence.

“Emilia, it's a pretty name.” she noted as she stepped forward, her eyes sharpening as she scanned you. “You look oddly familiar” she murmured as she looked down at your golden weaved corset, admiring the way it wrapped around your waist, allowing your now torn gown to lay so elegantly.

“You must be mistaken, I would have remembered you if we met before” you state gently, crossing your fingers and toes, hoping she will drop it and stop digging.

“No, I have a strange feeling that I've seen you before, in passing.” she persisted, her brows knitting together as she dug for a link to connect the feeling with a memory.

“Maybe in passing, but I don't know who you are, I promise” you double down as you pray internally, knowing if she realized you were the next in line to be queen, your life would be over in an instant, you'd never be found again. You always knew to be careful, especially when you were alone, being princess came with its cons as well, your life being at constant threat, and if a desperate person found you alone, they would be a fool to let you go without using your wealth as advantage.

She hummed in suspicion but quickly let it go as your stomach growled, desperate for its needs to be acknowledged. Pondering for a moment to figure out what to do with you, she finally gives in with a little chuckle. “Come in, your stomach will awaken the dead” she jested as she opened the door behind you with a swing of the golden handle.

“Thank you” you whisper out in exhilaration as you step inside the home. “I never got your name” you speak up softly as you admire the small home, little candles dancing on the table, the dark walls seemed to be made with brick and wood, almost as if she built it herself.

“Sevika,” she responded as her heavy boots treaded to the little kitchen in the corner, firewood aflame in a makeshift oven as she removed her gloves. A little smile crept up on your lips at the way her name slipped from her mouth, butterflies lingering in your abdomen, slowly traveling down in between your thighs. Her broad shoulders leaned forward as she cracked an egg over the metal plate before she pulled a loaf of bread from the tin, cutting a few slices with the large knife that rested beside her. “I hope you like eggs, because that's all I have” she mumbled, her back still turned to you as she grabbed an earthenware plate, quickly washing it before setting your plate.

“It's perfect, thank you. Besides I could eat a horse right now” you utter as she turns to you, her brows furrowed as she aims to comprehend what you're saying. Chuckling, you shake your head as she walks up to you, pulling a chair out for you to sit down.

“I don't get it” she stated flatly as she set the plate down, her attention trained on you as you sat down.

“It's a joke, you know? When you're so hungry you could eat anything, even a horse..?” you explain but let out a little giggle as her expression remained the same, completely confused by what you're saying. “Nevermind, you'll understand when you're in my position” you brush off as she shakes her head.

“Eat,” she urged as she walked back to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water. Not in need to be told twice, you dig in, your mind forgetting the manners that have been sewn into you. “Slow down, you'll suffocate” she advised as she sat down in front of you, sliding the glass of ice cold water over to you with her silver hand.

“Thank you, you're a lifesaver” you mumble in between chews, slowing down as she gazes at you, her eyes never faltering as she tries to figure you out, complexed by your familiar aura.

“Where did you come from?” Sevika interrogates as she leans back in her chair.

“Oh, uh- from the village nearby” you explain as you raise your eyes to answer her.

“There isn't a village nearby” she remarked as she crossed her arms over her apron, her biceps bulging.

You chuckle nervously, no longer feeling the need to stuff your mouth with food, your throat now feeling as dry as the desert from the tension sitting in the chair near you, you gulp down the water before speaking up. “Sorry, I mean from a village a little further away, i'm not so sure, i've been walking all day and night” you explicate as she nods with a little hum. God, she's intimidating when she's quiet. “What about you? What are you doing here in the middle of nowhere?” you question, hoping to fill the silence with something other than her staring you down, folding you to speak.

“I don't like being controlled, plus I don't like people'' Sevika answers with a little shrug of her shoulders.

“Controlled? By who?” you inquire, your curiosity peaked by her vague answers.

“By the royals, they're dictators, evil monsters even, don't you agree?” she posed as she tilted her head, almost as if she's testing you. You tilt your head back slightly at her admission, intrigued by her harsh judgment.

“I wouldn't say dictators, and definitely not evil monsters, they're just royals, they have to be in charge of their people, otherwise everything would crumble” you reason softly, slightly offended by her words.

“You know an awful lot, considering you come from a little village nearby” she elucidated, her tone implicative as she observed your features twitch ever so slightly.

You swallow down, hard, desperate for this interrogation to end, but she was a paranoid woman. “I- I know a lot because my father works in the kingdom” you excuse briskly.

“Ah, okay. That makes sense” she appraised as she shuffled forward in her seat. Grabbing her gloves that rested on her large leather belt hidden under her apron, she stands up, her full height seeming so much more intimidating now that you’re sitting. “I have to get back to work, you can sleep here until late morning and I’ll help you find your way back to your village” she asserted as she headed to the door at the side of the house, her footsteps halted by her name leaving your lips.

“Can I join you?” You asked gently with a curious smile, intrigued by what she does so early in the morning, plus you needed human interaction, anything to distract you from the horror you've just experienced with your guards.

Her brow was raised in amusement once she turned around, surprised you would actually be interested in what a woman like her does for a living. “Okay, but you have to be quiet, I can’t focus if you’re gonna sit there chit chatting” she warned hesitantly as she walked out, not waiting for you as she left the back door open. Quickly getting up, you followed her, shivering slightly as the cold air hit your face once again.

“What do you do?” You called out from behind her, snow tickling your face as she opened the large door to her barn, a blast of heat escaping into the cold early morning. You halt at the entrance, admiring the large room, a large fireplace at the center of the wall, warming your surroundings.

“Blacksmith” she simply says as she urges you to step forward before she closes the door behind you, leaving you two to heat your bodies in an instant.

“Must be good with your hands” you mumble as you admire all the tools laid out on cement. Your comment earns you a little chuckle as she sits down on her stool, raising the half crafted sword in her hands.

“You could say that” she responds, although more shamelessly in her gloat as she grins to herself.

“How do you survive with this heat? I'm already sweating” you comment in a slight pant, your skin glowing at the sudden change of temperature as you trace your fingers over the crafted sword. Your stomach drops at the engraved lion at the handle of the sword, knowing you have a dagger with the exact same design hidden in your dress.

Sevika tilts her head back, watching you from her periphery as she notices your hands on the sword. “I'm not wearing a 6 layer dress for one, and no touching” she warned sternly, her suspicion growing as your hand slowly let go of the sword.

“Sorry, it's just beautiful” you murmur, caught off guard by her harsh glare. You step away from the weapon as she stands up, dropping the metal that rested on her lap. Backing away slightly, she steps towards you as she reaches her arm out, wrapping it to the back of your waist to halt your retreat.

“Take it off, if you're so hot” she offered with a little smirk as you stood frozen, surprised by her change of tone, ulterior motives lingering underneath.

Heat rising to your face, you can't help but smile in embarrassment, and not only by her alluring tone. “I don't know how,” you whisper.

Her face screws in confusion as she tries to comprehend what you just said, “what?” She asked with a snicker.

You roll your eyes as you let out a harsh sigh, completely humiliated by having to admit to this very capable and confident woman, that you, a grown woman, can’t even undo her own dress because you’ve never had to. “I- uhm, I don’t actually know how to remove my dress” you admit in defeat.

Sevika bursts into a silent laugh as she rounds you, scanning the back of your dress. “You’re telling me you don’t know how to remove a dress?” She mocked.

“Well, I never needed to learn, I had people do it for me” you confess in a mumble, feeling completely useless in the situation. She was right to laugh, you’re so spoiled you don’t even have to acknowledge your privilege, yet right now it felt like a disadvantage.

“You must come from a very friendly village if you have people putting it on and taking it off every day” she remarks as she pulls the lace string. Your breath halts as Sevika loosens the corset, unable to breath despite your lungs' new found freedom.

Her words held so much power for a woman with no one beneath her, her eyes sharp with knowledge and experience. She made the hair on your back stand up in intimidation, yet she held such security. You felt safe, even though every part of your mind was telling you otherwise. “My parents have a comfortable life” you explain, though your words slipped through in a breathless whisper.

You could feel her gloved fingers trace your spine as she unraveled the corset before she pulled it forward, slowly unbuttoning the now loose dress. You were surprised by how easily she removed those tiny buttons, considering she’s got a glove on, and doesn’t strike you as the type to wear them, yet you could imagine she spent a lot of time removing them. Your dress falls off your shoulders, leaving you in your silk underdress, cleavage peeking through the neckline as she removes her glove. Her eyes fall to the handle of the dagger that slipped through the seam inside your dress, admiring her work now laying on the floor before quickly picking it up and placing it in the back of her trousers.

Her breath hitched as she stepped over to face you, admiring the way your chest rose and fell, your skin glowing ever so slightly against the warm flame heating the room. “Thank you” you stated softly as your eyes got caught in hers, deep gray eyes digging through your soul, controlling your heart rate, coercing you to admit all your sins and secrets.

You watch her breath go ragged for a moment as she raises her metal hand to your face before she tucks a lost strand of your hair behind your ear. You could see the hesitation in Sevika's eyes as she stepped forward, unsure if this tension she is feeling is mutual. Her fingers traveled down from your ear to your jaw before she places her thumb and pointing finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at her. “I've never seen someone as beautiful as you,” she uttered in admiration, taken aback by how your features complemented each other so flawlessly. Frozen in place, you felt your knees begging to give in at her comment, the certainty in her voice had you under her spell. Incapable of waiting any longer, Sevika connected her lips with yours, pausing for a moment to wage your reaction.

Your mind went to mush once you tasted the tobacco on her lips as you kissed her back, your heart now beating manually as she deepened the kiss. Her hand reaches the back of your neck, keeping you locked in as she explores your mouth, reveling in the way you taste. A little moan escapes as she bites down on your bottom lip, causing her to chuckle as she places her metal hand on the back of your slip dress, slowly lifting it up. The cold metal sends shivers up your thighs as she pulls it up before cupping your cheeks. Placing her other hand on your ass, Sevika taps it lightly to alert you before she lifts you up, supporting you by holding the back of your thighs as you wrap your legs around her waist. Wrapping your arms around her neck, you pull back to catch your breath as she begins to walk to the back of the barn.

She doesn't give you much time to process as she leans back in, kissing you once again as she removes one arm off of you to open the door in the back, keeping you in place with her other. You don't open your eyes until you feel a soft mattress hit your back, slowly leaning you down as she towered over you. Pulling her apron off, she leaned over you, resuming the kiss as her hands explored your waist and back until it reached your lower abdomen. Tightening the grip of your legs around her lower back, she slid your dress up to your waist as her thigh reached your core, pressing down on the pulse begging for some friction, anything.

“Please” you whisper out in between kisses, desperate for her to stop the teasing and just get to it.

“Patience sweet thing” she purred as she lowered her head to your neck, leaving painful marks along your pulse point down to your collarbone. You whined as her lips reached your chest, shifting slightly as she bit down on your boob, leaving a sting behind before she soothed the pain with her tongue.

You should probably tell her that you've never done this before, but you couldn't risk her stopping, not when she knew all the places to touch. You knew this was a bad idea, you'd be ruined if you lost your virginity to a commoner, let alone a foreign blacksmith, but right now you couldn't care less, you needed her. Your mind was someplace else as her tongue wrapped around your nipple as her flesh hand grabbed the other, exploring every part of your body at her disposal.

Your bottom lip found its way between your teeth, biting down as she pulled your panties down once she moved her leg, a little wave of cold air making you shiver. Sevika drew her fingers to your mouth, waiting for you to open them but you were too focused on the excitement of what was about to happen to notice.

“Open” she commanded as her finger touched your lips, hinting at what she was referring to. Submitting to her demand, you parted your lips as she inserted two fingers as far as she could, causing you to gag slightly as her fingers explored your mouth. “Be a good girl and suck them for me” she cooed as you nodded.

You wrapped your tongue around her fingers, sucking them until she was satisfied. Leaving your eyes watery as she removed them, her lips curling at your state, relishing in how pathetic you look under her. “Such a good girl,” Sevika praised as she lowered herself to your core, tracing her wet fingers over your folds.

Your shift forward at the sudden sensation that overtook you, her wet fingers drifting you to heaven as she drew them down to your entrance as nerves seeped in. Her brow raised at your reaction, quickly realizing why you are so shifty. “Don't worry, I'll be gentle” she assured softly, contradicting her commanding tone merely moments ago. You nod in gratitude, trusting that she'll do as she pledges before you close your eyes, your toes curling as she inserts one finger slowly, teasing your entrance to calm your nerves.

“To- too much” you whine once she manages to get her fingers in, her metal hand rubbing circles on your thighs as she shushes you, coercing you into pleasure that quickly replaces the pain.

“You're a big girl, you can take it, can’t you?” she taunted once she saw the pain subside, slowly pumping her fingers in and out as she traces slow kisses on your stomach. Biting the pathetic moans down, she slaps your thigh, “use your words pretty” Sevika ordered.

“Ah- Yes, I can take it” you respond in between moans, your head spiraling as she inserts her middle finger, her thumb circling your clit as your hips rise in overstimulation.

“Ah, ah, move and you'll be cumming all night” she warned slowly. Though her threat seemed tempting, you knew the use of it as a warning meant a sleepless night of begging her to let you sleep. Fighting your reflex, you laid still, allowing her thick fingers to fill you, a pit in your stomach quickly forming. Keeping her rhythm, Sevika rose to reach your neck, planting messy kisses all across your skin up to your ear.

“I figured out who you are,” she whispered as her fingers curled, each thrust blinding you into blissful ecstasy. Her words traveled in echoes as you moaned, oblivious to her revelation. Feeling the pit in your stomach threaten to lose control, your back arched as your hand grabbed the bedding beneath you, the sensations too much as it sent you over the edge. “You're my boss’s daughter, the King, the filth that took my arm”

making this a multichapter because ive imagined a whole plot lol

tagging you since you saw my comment lol

@fyeahnix

#arcane #sevika #wlw #writer #lesbian #sevika smut #sevika fanfic #sevika au #arcane fanfic #sevika x reader #sevika x you

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fanta2y · 11 months ago

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Inherently Worthy Pt. One

WOOOO im excited yall, this will be my first multi-part fic!!

The parts themselves will range from 1k to probably 3k-ish words. Since i want to keep the story flowing, I have alot already prewritten for it so updates should be fairly regular.

cw: Sorcerer!Sukuna AU, blood and injury, kinda graphic and a bit descriptive.

part two

word count: 1.1k

Blood.

It was everywhere.

You felt it gushing out of the particularly bad wound you sported on your side, the growing agony making your brain fuzzy and your eyes blurry. You felt it slip past your fingertips as you tried to hold the wound close.

You could hear it as you walked aimlessly, it stuck to your boots. The red color left a trail behind you as you hobbled away from the barely survived mission. The curse was exorcised and removed from the abandoned mall.

Which left you to deliriously wander around, trying to rack your brain to remember how to get out of this mess.

But the blood that left your body made you cold, and it made your mind drowsy. You felt like your head had been stuffed with cotton, your eyes could barely focus on what was infront of you and each step you took felt like you were getting heavier and heavier.

Alarm bells were ringing in your mind, you knew that if you didn’t get help soon you were probably going to die. The thought didn’t scare you as much as you thought it should, which only caused the alarm bells to ring louder.

You fished around in your pocket for your phone, praying to whoever might be listening that it wasn’t broken.

You pulled it out of your back pocket, wiping the sticky substance off of the screen. Revealing only minimal damage, a long crack spidering along the edges. You turned it on and went to unlock it.

You clicked on the first contact that came to mind, which probably wasn’t the greatest idea.

However, that wasn’t realized until the gruff voice came through the speaker. The phone hadn’t even been able to complete its first ring.

“Hello? Brat?” The low tone washed over your ears, and you suddenly felt the urge to cry.

“Ryo…uh..” You willed the shakiness of your voice away in hopes of not worrying him, even though you knew that he should be worried, anyone should be worried about your current predicament.

You heard rustling on the other end, almost as if he was moving around.

“The curse has been exorcised.” You tried, hoping to ease some of the thoughts that you knew were probably running rampant through his mind. “Almost took me along with it though.” You finished, nearly mumbling.

“Brat, I told you that someone should’ve came with you. But no, just had to be stubborn.” He grumbled, his words were harsh but you’ve known him long enough to know that he was just worried.

He continued on and on, but at some point, you couldn’t focus enough to pay attention. His words buzzed through your ears, but your head was swimming and the black dots were engrossing your vision. They made it difficult to process his words

You must have said something because his voice got louder, but your brain still couldn’t piece together the syllables. It all just sounded like white noise, you didn’t want to worry him. Trying to will yourself to say something, anything, but your tongue was heavy and your body didn’t seem to want to cooperate with you.

“s’rry” was the only thing you could force out before you swiftly lost consciousness, and the sound of your body hitting the floor echoed through the empty mall.

–

Sukuna wasn’t scared of many things, dare he say nothing at all.

When your as powerful as he is, you don’t get ‘scared’. But the ice cold he feels coursing through his veins, how he’s sure his heart is somewhere floating around in his stomach acid. This is the closest he’s ever gotten to fear.

It almost paralyzed him. Keyword, almost.

The second he heard your wheezy apology, and the concerningly wet thumb of your body hitting the floor. He felt his senses go into overdrive. Busting out of his dorm room and practically sprinting to Gojo's office.

As much as he may detest the man and all his theatrics, he’s the only one who could get him to you quick enough before something irreversible happens.

Facing the door of his office, not even bothering to knock. Sukuna pushed open the door, Gojo didn’t startle as the door aggressively hits the wall. He lifts his head from the paperwork hes doing, an easy smile on his face.

“What can I do for you my precio-”

“She’s hurt.” He cuts him off, not having time for his dramatics. The room went silent, the air thick with a tension.

Without a word, Gojo stands. The smile now nowhere to be seen, he turns to Sukuna.

“Where?” The word serious, any trace of playfulness leaving his tone. The energy shifting around them into something cold and serious.

“Some abandon mall, I’ve got her location.” He mumbles, fishing for the phone in his pocket. He showed it to him, the little dot blinking showing the mall where you stayed. Gojo nodded his head, committing the address to memory.

“Hold on.” Was all the warning Sukuna got before they are warped to the mall, somewhere inside of it. The mall reeks of mildew and rotting wood. Sukuna can hear the wetness dripping from somewhere in the ceiling.

The only reassuring aspect is the distinct lack of cursed spirit energy, its almost equally concerning as he can barely feel yours. Its just a small hum, tingling up the back of his spine. Nothing like it normally is and it only serves to make the panic bubbling under his skin begin boiling.

But Gojo had a much more refined sense of cursed energy, and had already pinpointed your location within the labyrinth esque layout.

With Gojo leading the way, they find you rather quickly. Sitting in a concerningly large pile of your own blood. Sukuna was at your side in a second, quickly feeling your neck and wrists for a pulse. Any sign that you were alive, that this wasn’t all the time you two would get together.

Thankfully under his shaky fingers, he felt the soft bump of your heart as it struggled to pump the remaining blood throughout your body. He felt Gojo’s hand on his shoulder, his thumb gently digging into the flesh there.

“Can you pick her up?” Gojo asked, albeit already knowing the answer. Sukuna gently situated your body for him to pick you up bridal style. The ragdoll of your limbs and head made him feel a sickness churning in his stomach. He noticed the long gash on your side, assuming that was where most of the blood was coming from.

Without another word, you three are warped back to Jujustu High.

authors note: a wee bit of a cliffhanger hehehe i hope you guys enjoyyy, im excited about writing this and i hope it turns out the way i want !! thank you guys for all the love for my writing, it really means the world to me!! thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed <33 take care of yourselves, much love !!

#sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader #ryomen sukuna fanfiction #sukuna fanfic #sukuna fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #x reader #jjk x reader #jjk #jujustu kaisen angst #angst #cliffhangers #thanks for reading !!#hope you enjoy <3 #🪷 fantas flowers

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alexa-fika · 11 months ago

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Antidote for one ( Crocodile x gn!pigeon!reader)

A/N: Do I have any idea where this is going now? But I still love writing them, because fics like this just make me feel some type of wayyyy, the type of way where you’re on the edge of your sit wanting more, you know what I mean?”

Pt 1, Pt 3

Doflamingo Version

Dividers by @/saradika

Crocodile smiles, taking another drag on his cigar

“Now we are getting somewhere. There is a marine base on the South Sea. We need you to infiltrate in and retrieve a marine captain, dead or alive.”

They slam their hand on his desk

“What the hell is that? I do deliveries; I am not an assassin.”

“You deliver messages and letters, do you not?You bring things for me to the destination I specify.” He mockingly tells them

“This is no different, the delivery just happens to be more alive, or dead depending on how you want to do it.” He said shrugging his shoulders

“Do not worry; the Marines will believe he was killed by a pirate that they are searching for. So, is this a yes or no?”

“Have you lost your mind?! No!” They exclaim

“I do deliveries. Not killings”

Crocodile stares them down

“What part of this did you not understand?You either deliver the goods or lose your wings. Is this clear enough to you?”

They lean in closer to him

“I call bull, im not doing it.”

Crocodile smirks sharply as he leans as well and glares back at them with a menacing aura

“Give your answer again, pigeon….”

They glare at him, not backing down

“No.”

“Wrong answer” Crocodile smiles

“I will give you one more last chance, so listen up,.

As you know, when working for the Cross Guild, your wings are not yours. And I have every right to take them away.”

“They are not! These wings are mine, they are a part of me and I don’t belong to you, hell I tecnically don’t even work for you”

Crocodile stands up and, in one swift movement, wrapping his hand around them, the sharp edge of his hook hovering over their wings

“This again? Im getting tired of this. Are you going to change your answer now?”

They still glancing at the hook, breaths away from their wings but remain firm

“I will not. I agreed to do deliveries, not murders; matter of fact, im not doing any deliveries for you; I call bullshit on your threat. Would you really just destroy the wings that carry your deliveries, great amount of your gains around?”

Crocodile keeps his hook on their wings with a sharp gaze

“I never make empty threats,Reader.” He warns

“You are correct in saying that your little wings are valuable to me, but you underestimate me,. Did you think my only solution was to destroy your wings completely?” he said, removing the golding covering on his hook and hovering it above their wings again

“No, Little Pigeon, I am more than capable of teaching you a lesson, removing your wings without me losing my valuable asset,” he drawls

“Oh please, what could you possibly do to achieve something like that? Nothing.”

Crocodile grins

“Let’s find out, shall we?”

He digs his hook into their wings, creating two minor lacerations in each wing

They wince at the quick jabs but grin at him

“Is that all? Just some little pokes?”

Crocodile smirks at them,

“Are you sure Thats all there was to it little pigeon?”

“What are yo-

Their eyes widen as they quickly figure out the meaning behind his words, finding themselves unable to open or even move their wings

“Are you seeing the light now, little bird?” Crocodile’s grins with a cruel expression

“I do not have to destroy your wings to keep you in line. Simply paralyzing them keeps you as quiet as you should be.”

“What did you do”

He laughs mockingly at them as he puts the golden covering over his hook again and sits back down, leaning back on his chair, letting out a long cloud of smoke as he exhales from his cigar.

“I originally had deadly poison in it from scorpions in Alabasta. But I am more than able to complete the job more easily than poison would, so I replaced it with something different, a paralyzer.”

“If it is a paralyzer, Then I will simply wait for it to go away” they grit their teeth, backing away and heading for the door, putting their hand over the handle

Crocodile shakes his head as he smirks

“You clearly are not understanding the severity of your situation, Reader,” he drawls lazily blowing another puff of smoke

“Did you think I would store some measly paralizer? No, it is a special kind, one that needs an antidote to be lifted” he said, holding a vial in his hand and shaking it mockingly

They still, their hand still over the handle

“Then I will find my own antidote,” they mutter

“Oh, I’m not sure you can do that,” Crocodile said with a sadistic grin, staring at them

“You have no idea what the paralyzer is; therefore, don’t know what antidote you need, will you just start consuming different ones, hoping for the best? For all you know, I could’ve crafted it myself.”

They stand still for a while, their hand eventually leaving the handle, letting it fall back to their sides, not turning around to the man behind them

Crocodile smirks at them, putting the vial back on his desk

“That’s what I thought, Little pigeon. Your little brain seems to be working better than your mouth.”

Crocodile's grin turns sadistic, his eyes shining like the sun from behind his cigar.

”Now, are you going to take the job?”

“Give them back.”

Crocodile laughs at them before blowing a puff of smoke from his cigar

“You really are entertaining; if you have not been so damn stubborn about this, I would almost grow to like you.

But unfortunately, that is not the case; your wings are still mine till you fulfill the job.”

“Give them back,” they growl, turning around to face him, grabbing an ornamental sword hanging upon the wall, and storming his way

“Ah, you think you’re going to fight me and get the wings back? A bold pigeon, aren’t you? But I would be rather disappointed if that is the case….”

Crocodile stands up and slowly walks across the room

“Because little bird, it would be a shame if I had to resort to the less friendly methods for dealing with you.”

Crocodile’s expression remains calm and nonchalant as he walks ever closer to them, staring at them with a piercing gaze

They growl raising the sword and quickly bringing it down upon the former warlord.

In a swift motion, his hook comes out and grabs the blade in spinning it out of their grasp, falling to the ground with a loud clang

Crocodile’s grin widens

“Now, have you had enough of this charade? Or do you want to continue making a fool of yourself?”

They grit their teeth, glaring at the man before them

Crocodile stares back, his grin widening as he laughs at them.

“So much defiance for a small pigeon like you. Very well, you have chosen the less friendly option.”

Crocodile’s hand slams them against the wall pinning them against it.

They struggle against his grip

“Give them back!” They growl

“You still wish to play this game? You really need to know your place, little bird.” Crocodile said in a harsh, cruel tone

His face inches closer to theirs

“Your wings are not yours; they belong to the Cross Guild, and thus they belong to me. Your pride and ego is rather amusing to watch, but you need to know when to bow your head.”

Crocodile holds them still, with no intention of letting them go

“This is a nice feeling…, to see you squirming like a small bird stuck in a hawk’s talons” he laughs cruelly

“You know what I want,” Crocodile said, his voice dropping in volume to a whisper

He leans in closer to them, his voice turning menacing and terrifying

“Agree, and the antidote is yours.”

“I’ll do your damn deliveries but im not killing anyone!”

“Ah ha, so you do have the slightest of common sense buried beneath that dense brain of yours,” Crocodile said, smirking

“I’ll change your assignment to your usual deliveries, and no complaints will come from you when doing it, right?”

They simply glare at him

“It’s a simple question, Reader a yes or no question” Crocodile’s smirk turns into a sadistic grin

“Will I hear a single word of complaint from you from now, yes or no?”

“No” they grumble

Crocodile smirks, his grin growing wider than before

“Good little pigeon. And let me be clear this time: You complete your assignments on time, or you lose the antidote for good.”

“And how will I do that without without the antidote? Without my wings?” They hiss

“I will give you a diluted antidote; it will contrast the paralyzer for enough time for you to do your delivery and come back.”

“You can’t be seri-

“Perhaps this will teach you to stay in your lane; if your a good little messenger, I will give you the full antidote; until then, you will only go where I tell you to, when I tell you to”

“Now, do you understand, little pigeon?”

“…”

“Are we clear?” Crocodile glares at them

“Crystal,” they snap

Crocodile grins and tosses the small glass vial containing a diluted bit of the antidote over to them

“Take the antidote; you have till the sun sets to deliver that package

And don’t think about taking the antidote and trying to sneak off; it will not work; you will crash to the ground if you do not come back for more.”

Again im not sure where this is going but I love writing stuff like this lmao, do you guys like reading stuff like this? How does it make you feel?

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x child!reader #one piece fluff #one piece imagine #sir crocodile x y/n #sir crocodile x you #crocodile x y/n #crocodile x you #cross guild #sir crocodile x reader #crocodile x reader #op crocodile #crocodile one piece #crocodile #sir crocodile

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kaye-go-moo · 3 months ago

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Shapes and Strange Ciphers AU: Need a hand? Pt. 2

SaSC by me

Shapes and Pines by @/void-dude

Next Part

Jheselbraum, on the rare occasions she saw Bill in town, noticed his behavior gradually becoming increasingly strange over the span of a few weeks. At first, his movements were clumsy and awkward, stumbling through the streets like a child learning to walk. She initially assumed he was drunk, but as time passed, it became clear something else was wrong. His walk became more refined, but completely different from his usual stride—his head held high, his steps confident, and his hands clasped neatly behind his back. However, this wasn't nearly as disturbing as his newfound hostility towards others. Bill, who had always been somewhat stand-offish but never rude, acted arrogant, treating those around him as if they were beneath him.

Bill also appeared disheveled; his hair was long and tangled, his clothes dirty, and his face gaunt. There was also something off with his eyes. Jheselbraum couldn't place it, but they just looked wrong—dark and empty, like something had crawled inside of Bill's skin and was poorly imitating him. Jheselbraum was filled with a growing sense of unease, the feeling in her gut that had kept her in gravity falls returned, leading her to pay Bill a visit.

When she entered his house, Jheselbraum was taken aback by its state. The place was a wreck—papers strewn everywhere, cobwebs draped over the furniture, and dust filled the air. Is Bill really living here?

She called out his name, but there was no response. She ventured down into the basement and found him working on the portal. He looked awful. With his long hair tied into a messy ponytail, revealing his condition was far worse than Jheselbraum had initially believed, "Bill?"

Bill jumped and looked up in surprise, “J-Jhesel? What are you doing here?”

"I was worried. About you." Her gaze lingered, examining his decrypate from, her face a mix of shock and concern.

Bill’s expression darkened as he turned to continue his work., “Im fine. You can leave now.”

"Fine? You call this fine?” Her anger surged, “Bill, what the hell is going on with you?"

For once, Jheselbraum didn’t hold back. Normally, she would leave in quiet frustration, wanting to avoid confrontation, but not this time. She had reached her limit. If escalating was the only way to get Bill to listen, then so be it.

She unleashed everything—her concerns and frustration from the last year, picking apart his every action. She questioned his sanity, asking if he was having a mental crisis. She tore him to pieces before threatening to contact his family, “Is that what it will to get you to pull your head out of your ass?”. However, this only managed to anger Bill and send him over the edge.

Bill had been frozen in stunned silence, but the mention of his family caused him to snap. His face contortinf with rage as he yelled, “Leave them out of this!”

He unleashed a barrage of cutting insults, using her insecurities and regrets as amunition. In his rage, he grabbed a nearby tool and flung it at her.

It missed, bouncing off the wall behind her and clattering to the floor. Jheselbraum stood in shock, face pale and eyes wide. She stumbled back, turned, and bolted up the stairs, fleeing the house and driving away.

Bill sat there, paralyzed, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. He wanted to chase after her, but his legs wouldn’t move. Minutes passed before he managed to stumbled to his feet and up the upstairs. The front door was open, left ajar by Jheselbraum. He reached outt, his hand hovered over the doorknob. I should apologize.

“You should stay here,” Bill shifted his attention to Ford. “Things will only escalate if you go after her.”

Bill, deflated, slowly closing the door. He stood in silence, staring blankly at the knob, fog clouding his mind. “You should rest.” Ford glided in front of Bill, forcing him to meet his gaze.

Bill silently obeyed, numbly turning and walking to his bedroom. He slumped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. Eventually, exhaustion overtook him, and he feel fast sleep, unaware of what Ford did while he rested.

When he woke, he back in the basement, a sticky note left by Ford sitting in front of him: ‘There's nothing to worry about. The problem is solved. Continue fulfilling your legacy.’

A pit formed in Bill’s stomach and a lump formed in his throat. He swallowed hard, let out a shaky breath. Rising to his feet, he turned back to the portal, but a chilling anxiety brewed in his chest as he forced himself to continue working.

A week had passed with Bill tirelessly working on the Portal and Ford taking over his body at night. But eventually, something clicked in Bill's mind. Why wasn’t anyone banging down the front door? Why hadn’t anyone called? Knowing Jheselbraum, she would’ve definitely told his family about their fight. So why was no one there?

A cold shiver ran down his spine as Ford’s words flashed in his mind ‘the problem is solved’. What did that mean? Bill thought back, remembering all of his doubts, doubts he had kept hidden—doubts Ford had somehow known. Ford knew exactly what to tell Bill to keep his fears down. To keep him down. Something wasn’t right.

Unable to shake the feeling, Bill raced out of the house and into town. Heading towards Jheselbraum's apartment, he spotted her wandering the streets. Relief washed over him as he ran up to her and began apologizing, stopping when he noticed her confused and worried expression.

"Do I know you?"

Bill’s heart sank. His face paled as he looked her over. She was wearing the same clothes from when he last saw her, but no coat or shoes—in the middle of winter. He quickly wrapped his jacket around her, ushering her towards his car and out of the cold. But she recoiled in fear, wriggling out of Bill’s grasp before running away.

He tried to chase after her, but his exhaustion slowed him to a wheezing crawl. Bill spent the rest of the day searching, but the cold forced him to stop. Desperation pushed him to ask the police for help, but all they could offer was a vague promise to “keep an eye out.”

Bill had no choice but to return home. He needed to call the Jheselbraums family and tell them. Tell them... what exactly? That their daughter had gone mad? That she lost her mind and was now wondering underdressed through the cold? Thinking about it, he realized he didn't even remember their numbers. He couldn’t remember anyone's number. Bill never could, always having to rely on an old notebook with the everyones contact information listed.

Bill frantically searched the house, but the notebook was gone. Even his phone had disappeared.His breath quickened, becoming ragged, as the world collapsed in on him. Nothing was where it should, no one was acting how they should be. Nothing was right and he had no one—not his friend or his family. He was alone.

Bill crumpled to the floor in a sobbing heap before waking to a familiar cosmos. Ford hovered above him, trying to explain away all of Bill’s doubts.

Bill stayed quiet, listening to Ford try and rationalize what Bill saw. Then Ford paused, seemingly interrupted by a silent voice. He looked down at Bill, examining him with a narrowed eye.

"I want the truth." Bill's voice was cold, his eye fixed on Ford.

Ford sighed with annoyance, looking at Bill with disappointment. "I'll give you this one chance, Cipher."

With a snap, the dream unraveled, and Bill was bombarded with flashes of creatures and places he had never seen before, inventions he could never dream of creating.

"This will all be ours, my protégé.” Ford gestured towards the images, “Anything we desire. Everything we deserve."

Bill's head was spinning. Overwhelmed, he squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, "No! I asked for the truth, Stanford! Give me the truth!"

Ford's eye darkened, and a flash of red anger painted his shape. He closed his eye, recollecting himself before he raised his hand, fingers bracing against each other. His eye reopened, staring at Bill with a cold indifference.

"To think I would've let you join me."

Snap

Ford took control of Bill's body, forcing it up from the floor and over to the basement door. First, he changed the doors passcode before heading down to the lab. There, he grabbed one of his secret side projects: a pin lock, which he installed on the closet door. Afterwards, he turned his attention to the portal, picking up where Bill had left off. He worked until Bill’s body reached its limit, its hand’s trembling too much to use. Finally, Ford locked himself in the closet. Now, Bill was trapped—only able to leave when Ford possessed his body.

Ford continued working on the portal, knowing it would be complete in a few more days. However, Bill didn't make it easy. When awake, he tried breaking down the door, leaving his body too exhausted for Ford to use, delaying the portal's completion. Bill’s continued escape efforts lead him to work his frail body past its limits. In a desperate attempt to slow Ford's progress, he restored to hurting himself. Forcing Ford to work with broken bones and trembling limbs. Ford tried reasoning with Bill—through flattery or insult—doing everything he could to break him down. But Bill held strong.

After a few days, Bill finally managed to break down the door and weakly climb upstairs, only to be met with another lock installed by Ford. In that moment, Bill nearly gave up. His body was wrecked, the pain being the only thing keeping him conscious. Ford tried encouraging Bill’s weakness, insisting his actions were pointless. But Bill fought off his desire to quit and steeled his resolve.

He tried kicking down the metal door, but his legs were too weak. Taking a moment to assess his surroundings, he realized he could just break through the wooden wall instead. With renewed determination, he shuffled back down to the lab and grabbed his tools. He spent hours tearing at the the wall, all while enduring Ford’s manipulation. Eventually he broke through.

Bill raced to the front door, only to be halted by a raging blizzard. It was too risky to push through the snow—he could die of hypothermia or pass out, giving Ford to the chance to regain control or manipulate someone else into finishing the portal. He had no choice but to find a solution inside the house.

Bill frantically searched for something—anything—that might help him deal with Ford. It was a feverish attempt made more difficult as night fell. Ford had taken the time to remove every light bulb in the house, leaving Bill in the dark and forcing him to return to the basement. There he found a busted old torch that he used to light his way.

During his search, he came across an old photo of him with his friends. A heavy pit formed in his stomach as he stared at the picture, a reminder of forgotten memories and broken friendships. Before he could dwell on it for too long, another photo caught his eye.

In it, a younger Bill smiled proudly as he held up a first-place prize from a science contest. Beside him stood someone he hadn't seen in almost a decade—his old babysitter, first friend, and big brother, Tad. Tears welled up in Bill’s eyes as he realized just how much he missed Tad. How much he’s needed him—now more than ever.

Suddenly, an idea grounded him. Bill jumped to his feet, rifling through drawers until he found an unfinished postcard addressed to Tad. “What good will that do?” Fords voice cut through Bills thoughts “He abandoned you, Cipher. What makes you think he’ll come back?” Bill paused. Ford was right. And even if he wasn’t, who was Bill to ask Tad to travel all the way to Gravity Falls just to help him? They hadn’t spoken in years. Did Tad even remember Bill existed?

Taking a deep breath, Bill steadied himself. I won’t know unless I send it. He wrote “PLEASE COME!” followed by his home address. Once the blizzard died down, he bundled up and made his way into the woods, placing the letter in an old, rusted mailbox. He lifted the flag and left, hoping—praying—Tad would receive it.

While waiting for Tad, Bill loaded up on caffeine and energy medication, trying to stay awake for as long as possible. He couldn't risk Ford taking over his body and locking himself somewhere he couldn't escape. Bill continued his search for something against Ford, but he couldn’t find his journals. He nearly tore the house apart, but there was nothing—Ford had either hidden or destroyed them. Defeated, Bill shifted his focus to dismantling the portal.

It was far from an easy task. Bill's body was weak from a lack of food and sleep, and with his journals gone, he had to rely on scattered notes and his foggy memory. He gathered what he could find, but between Ford’s constant badgering and Bill's sleep deprivation, it was hard to focus. Things only got worse when he started to have hallucinations—or what he convinced himself were hallucinations.

Every bump and creak sent Bill into panic, scrambling to find its cause. The only way he could get any work done was by tricking himself into thinking everything was fine. As long as he saw Ford, he was safe, his presence brought Bill a strange sense comfort. He could keep and eye on him and didn’t have to be completely alone—though its debatable if being alone would’ve be better than hanging out with your captor.

One night, after ignoring a series of thumps upstairs, Bill was startled by the sound of breaking glass. He looked around and realized Ford was gone. He’d been so focused on the portal that Bill didn’t notice his absence. Grabbing a long metal pipe, he raced upstairs, slowing as he neared the source of the noise. He was chilled to see a decaying body crawling through the broken window, its eye glowing a golden hue.

"Stop with these games, Cipher." The corpse’s voice was raspy, its words disturbingly familiar. Ford. "I gave you the opportunity to do one worthwhile thing in your pathetic life, and you wasted it."

Bill froze, trembling as the corspe staggered to its feet. "This is your last chance."

A bloody hand reached out toward him. Bill's grip on the pipe tightened.

"Cipher, my protégé, don't—"

Before Ford could finish, Bill swung the pipe down onto the hand, then back at Ford’s face, landing with a sickening crack. The corpse slammed into the ground. Bill stood panting, waiting for Ford to get back up, but the body lay still. Shining his flashlight into the dead man's eyes, Bill saw no glow—the pupils small and unreactive.

Bill dragged the body outside. It took him a while, but eventually, he managed to lay it beside the back porch. He stumbled back inside and returned to the basement. He tried dismantling the portal, but his hands wouldn’t cooperate. Shaking so violently he could barley hold a tool without dropping it. He told himself that he was just the cold, but even after an hour of sitting in the warm basement, his hands pressed tightly against his chest, the trembling wouldn’t stop. And then came the tears.

At one point, Bill toyed with the idea of blowing up the house. It would be the quickest solution and would set Ford back significantly. The idea intrigued him, but the intrusive thought of being inside when it exploded quickly snuffed out the plan. Besides, it was only a temporary fix. Bill needed something permanent. And then there was Tad. If he comes—when he comes— how would he feel, finding nothing but the ashes of Bill’s homes?

-----

Lore Comments

#gravity falls #bill cipher #stanford pines #shapes and pines au #tad strange #sascau #writing #5/8 posts #this took me way longer to post than I expected #College is killing me #I just started getting into a decent schedule and it involves me not staying up still 2 am #I promise to be quicker on the next post!!!#I hope the lore comments make up for it #and I must admit to making a chicken little au for gravity falls #I might post about it depending on how much effort I put into the story #Thank you for reading my mess!!!

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aroacewxs · 1 year ago

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im learning how to drive after delaying it for months and i hate it, so i will now be imagining what it would be like for wxs to drive a Car to cope

to start off, emu would pass the written test with FLYING COLOURS first try. rui too. tsukasa and nene both fail the first time but pass the second time but for different reasons. tsukasa would cram everything while he's in the waiting room and fail miserably. nene studied her ass off before the test, but the randomized questions would all be ones she hadn't heard of before and would miss it by a mark.. (me).

as for driving the actual car,,, i think rui is more successful in understanding how the car works than actually taking it out for a ride on the highway. maybe he'll get around to driving YEARS later but for now he feels most comfortable in the passenger/back seat tormenting the driver with whatever he decides to say.

emu and tsukasa would actually be pretty decent from the get go but they cannot park straight for their lives. tsukasa would be all "HAHA! HOW'S THAT FOR A STAR'S PARKING JOB" and it would be so fucking crooked rui has to stifle a giggle. nene would never let him live it down so he spends HOURS in an empty parking lot at night trying to park properly. eventually he gets the hang of it.

nene on the other hand would be petrified and paralyzed with anxiety for the first few times she drives, but would slowly get the hang of it as she makes it a part of her routine. a very very careful driver.

tsukasa: NENE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!! IT IS YOU BEHIND THE WHEEL! YOU CONTROL THE CAR, THE CAR DOESN'T CONTROL YOU! PLUS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE WHILE FEELING AFRAID, THAT COULD BE A POTENTIAL DANGER TO-

nene, with shaking hands gripping the wheel: can you please just shut the fuck up

#project sekai #wxs #wonderlands x showtime #kusanagi nene #kamishiro rui #tenma tsukasa #ootori emu #wxs rui #wxs nene #wxs tsukasa #wxs emu #you will never see me on the road #teared up with anxiety from just sitting in the driver's seat bro im doomed #writing this based off of the drivers system in my country #i wonder how similar driving systems are in other countries

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benders-back · 9 months ago

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Hey soo this is the first fanfic I've written in a minute!! Uhhh, I kinda wrote it as if you, the reader, were in Henry's pov! I also didn't intend for this to be gay, but I also didn't have it planned for them to be buddies either. So really, it's up to your interpretation if this is a jimmenry one shot!! Definitely because I wasn't too lazy to pick one path and go down it nooooo of course not

This is me also giving sweatervest Jimmy a second chance because the way he died in the movie was 100% NOT deserved man wtf </3

Cw; blood/gore, description of blood/gore, some profanity, weird descriptions of piecing someone back together, unlawful usage of glass (/j), description of dead bodies, and in general just other blood stuff yaya 👍

"Aye, stay still."

Jimmy would say with bit of a grumble as the world around you seems to be a shade of red. He seemed to be wearing a sweater vest, strands of his hair being more in his face as he was leaning over and being more up close with his tools. Almost like the man was screwing back in your eyes into their sockets.

"Look at ya, damn scrap metal is all you're left as . . I got you, mate."

He sounded a bit worried with his speech, his tone of voice sounding more soft and laced with genuine worry. You could hear parts of your body softly beeping, as if it were to alert yourself about what state of damage your body has been mangled into. As you lay on these rooftops, the rose tint begins to start fading from your vision. You look around, noticing the carnage of what once was hundreds of men that..oddly resemble you. You're covered in remains, not certain if they're yours.

"Now, I know yer brains a bit . . haywire, but Im sure I'll have a good enough explanation of everythin once you're stable enough." He would pull up your shirt to get access to your torso, noticing the metal holes for something to plug into them. Jimmy then grabbed a duffle bag off of the floor, dragging it over and unzipping it almost immediately. In his bloody hands, he held up a contraption with almost aux cord components at the ends to attach it to something, or in this case, someone. He lined up the plugs, and inserted them into those metal lined holes in your chest. He stared at the screen impatiently, noticing it blinking red. Jimmy seemed more focused on the battery part of the screen, observing that the battery that's pumping energy into you, is nearly empty. He put the contraption and screen into your open hands, putting his palm against where your knuckles would have been and closing his own hand slowly, causing your hands to close as well, now having you hold onto the screen that shows your vitals. After that, he quickly stood up and looked around at some of the scattered bodies.

"Yer gonna have to trust me, Henry. Keep a good hold of that, yeah?" He would explain while pointing at the machine in your grasp, his pace of speech growing more rapid as he starts to wander around the roofs, poking bodies and flipping them over with his foot to see what damages they have. Almost as if he were trying to find one that could qualify for both of your benefits, as if one of them has something that James is looking for.

Some time goes by where you can't see him, you're stuck looking up at the star scattered sky with the smell of iron poisoning the air around you, with lingering scents of burnt flesh and wet leaves. You're left all on your own, as you feel the numbing factors of the adrenaline shots you had taken before start to wear off. If you didn't feel paralyzed before, you could definitely feel the reason why, now. You want to scream, but something isn't allowing you to, no matter how wide your mouth is. With the bullets still being lodged into your inhuman skin, waves of agony are rushing in and slowly swaying out in a stuck loop of fake hope and immediate, painful truth.

After a few moments, you can hear heavier footsteps approaching, as if someone was carrying or dragging something that was weighing them down. Jimmy kneels back down beside you, now having one of the many bodies being at his feet. Jimmy looked down at him and sighed, taking a big shard of glass off of the rooftops from a shattered window and holding it hesitantly, both his hands shaking as he looked at the corpse before finally closing his eyes, and moving his head to look away from the body. Jimmy plunged the shank into his chest, tearing it open as if he were to gut a fish. He looked back at the organs inside of the man, tossing the glass aside and moving his heart out of the way. Behind the corpses heart, seemed to be a power unit, one similar enough to the one you were running off of. Jimmy quickly went back over to you, leaning down and unplugging the contraption before taking both sides of your chest and slowly peeling them apart, exposing where your battery would have been held. He reached his hand in, then the spare battery, and at this point, anything you could have seen has now entirely faded away.

You lay there, not being able to see anything, not hearing anything. Are you dead? Is this what hell feels like? The concept of being held down seems to be gone, you're floating aimlessly in a pool of pitch darkness.

And then suddenly, that's all gone.

You flicker awake, like an old lightbulb. You quickly sit up as the world around you has returned to the bloody mess you had left it in, with your buddy in the sweatervest jumping around and laughing in relief, before quickly going back over to you. Jimmy leaned down and got one of your arms over his shoulder to hold you up before slowly standing back up, now walking slowly to a door that was on the rooftops.

"Good enough for now . . fuck, gotta whole lot of explaining to do, don't I?" He would say with a soft laugh, as if a weight just released itself off of Jimmy's chest as he walked the both of you to the other side of the roof towards a door, leaving this blood bath behind.

#hardcore henry #jimmy hardcore henry #jimmy my beloved #gay? maybe?#writing #one shot #cw: gore #cw blood #dead dove do not eat

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