#im so goddamn tired

[corvidstar]

I can't fucking stand people buying tails from unethical sellers and then lying about it. It just shows how immature some people are.

I don't care how old you are, if you've got the capacity to buy real taxidermy you also have to stick to the consequences of doing so.

And for the love of god stop lying. If you got the tail in Shein or Amazon I don't even care anymore, just don't lie because it's just so blatantly sad. You're lying to yourself.

Be better, honestly.

If you claim to be non-human, if you claim to be human even, prove it. Because it's just plain infuriating to see people disrespect their own kind like that.

[cpunkwitch]

Hi I need people to remember scoliosis isn't the only back issue that exists

I've had multiple instances where I talked about my back issue, stating a defect in my spine causes me chronic pain, and people respond with "so do you have a form of scoliosis?"

NO. not only does this show how little people understand scoliosis but that scoliosis being the first thing to come to mind means other back problems and spine conditions are not known well enough and we need to fix that.

Start talking about your conditions, talk about your back problems, explain what you experience and listen when people talk about theirs.

Don't let the world continue to be ignorant and assume there's only one condition for you to have, don't let peoples ignorance out you in a box, that happens way too often and the only way we can solve and prevent it is if we don't stop talking about it.

Bringing awareness to things is the only way we can stop having to deal with situations like this where people are ignorant and make assumptions about our bodies based on our age, appearance and their limited knowledge.

And for the able bodied folk, don't talk over us, listen and learn and help us spread awareness. PLEASE

[sad-leon]

sorry for lack of art

havent drawn in days and making this doodle caused me so much distress- have a thing i finished a while back going up later today but otherwise i dont know when im gonna get anything else out

couldn't even get a sad leo sketch complete without almost melting down </3

[just-a-girl-with-a-pistol]

Random thingssssssss go aaaaaaaa

he eat

[shipperwolf1]

This comment on my previous reblog is so accurate, please I'm so tired of tumblrinas thinking withholding a vote is helping anyone, and as a southern trans person a second trump presidency is absolutely terrifying to me

Vote for whomever you want in the primary, but chances are biden will be the candidate. The incumbent almost always is.

Just. Really think about how many people, in America and abroad, will suffer and die under the Republicans' 2025 administrative strategy. They have every single intention of stripping the democratic process away from the citizenry. Forever, if possible.

And if you withhold your vote in the name of "sticking it to the Dems/liberals", the loss of American democracy is on your hands. Full stop.

[angelsaxis]

"men will be men" and "men can't help themselves" are never valid statements idc what the subject is

[the-writer-nerd-ro]

The squad is late and unfinished but they're here

This week was kinda long and exhausting (but uptimately good) hopefully I'll have more to offer by next week

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[actually-correct-drawfee]

4:20 whatcha smokin

but also: sleep schedule who?

I was busy deciding on whether or not I'd shave the tails off my brows, that's why I was up late. and you know what, I did it. I watched Trixie and Katya and I fuckin did it and I look so fuckin cool

[xiathiau-myshif]

In case anyone wondered how my Maths and Biology mock gcses went (:

[catfishofoldin99colours]

I had the most horrendous afternoon and all I want to do is play Minecraft and watch my silly little videos but I can't do that because my fucking laptop is broken

[witch-squibby]

Working Friday and then having to work Saturday for fuckin prom:

[spuddragon]

Oughhhhh petsitting is finally done I'm exhausted

[ationless-motive]

In so many ways I envy trans people. I envy their certainty in who they are, no matter how tenuous it is they at least have it, and god damn do I want that too. I want the euphoria of learning and working towards being myself. I want to give meaning to the gnawing ache of my hollowed out identity and fill it with the beauty of life and color.

I wish I could say I lay awake at night wondering and pondering and philosophizing about some aspect of transhood, yadda yadda. But I don't. I curl in bed too scared to ever experience the too-full silence of night where both crickets and my thoughts live, in a safe bubble of noise and dim light created by GeminiTay videos and Game Grumps compilations because god forbid I face the dark. Because it hurts to think about transhood. It hurts to imagine the joy trans people when they find comfort in themselves, hurts to imagine the joy transfemmes find when they can finally look at themselves in a mirror, hurts to imagine the certainty and strength transmascs find in the masculinity I've always resented, hurts to imagine how freeing letting go of being one or the other must be for those in between or outside the binary. It hurts, because I can't help but rejoice in and be happy for the beauty of personhood I see from them and what they feel, but I'm crushed by the envy of wanting to feel it all too.

I want to love myself. I want so desperately to be happy with my personage, with my identity, with my body, with whatever desiccated fucking heap my gender is. I want it. I want it, and they have it, and it's so hard not to feel like it's not fair. I bury myself under the shame of knowing I'm in some way romanticizing a struggle I know nothing about, all because I'm so lost in my own bullshit. I have no place in glorifying the very real lived experiences of others just to create some imaginary greener grass for me to yearn for. I have no fucking right to the trans experience.

Because I'm not trans. How could I be? I can't even figure out gender. Even a fucking decade after highschool I'm still frozen in the same spot, with the same confusions and self loathings, only made more rich and nuanced with the passage of time. I keep my head down, I make no waves, I take up no space. I don't grow. I don't change. I stay the same inert dead thing that doesn't age, only weather away. Being trans is about change isn't it? It's about a transformation of being? It's gotta be something. It's gotta be. Because how could it be this? This fucking impossible indefinable inescapable fear-thats-not-even-fear-anymore feeling that is constantly fucking suffocating me!? How in the fucking hell is it this!? Why can't I fucking name it why does it hurt and why can't I move past it or recognize it or name it like everyone else!? Why am I the only one still fucking confused? Why the hell was I born like this? Why? Why?

Why?

Why do I keep telling myself I'm not trans? When a part of me yearns for femininity. When I can't escape the memory of the time I tried to paint my own nails and spiraled and cried and doused my hand in nail polish like water onto a fire because I messed up and got the polish on my skin. Because I didn't know you could use cotton swabs to ease away any fumbles and slips. Because no one taught me, because I was too scared to learn, because I was a fucking idiot for thinking I deserved to have beautiful nails or to feel good about how I look. But it's not like I'm trans or anything. Because if I was it'd make all of... Everything so much harder, I guess. And god of it's not hard enough already.

There's so much more in my life that makes me feel like I should be more certain. Even if I know uncertainty is par for the course, and that it's silly for me to wish for the binary black-and-white yes-or-no certainty of "Am I Cis or Am I Trans?". I should be sure by now, shouldn't I? For god sakes I'm almost 28.

So I just lay here curled up crying in bed typing this out. Alone in this stew of my own self loathing and confusing feelings and envy towards trans people who have figured at least some parts of themselves out.

But I'm pretty sure I'm just being an idiot. Maybe the reason I don't feel trans is because I in some way 'other' transhood, make it into something external and outside of myself because I see it as a community of people I'm not a part of. I see queerness in general as a community I'm not a part of, because how can I be a part of it? How could I possibly belong to any group? I've spent so much of my life balancing between being discarded and "tolerated".

[just-mebs]

My pants fucking shrunk in the washer and now I'm like suffering the curse of Clothes Don't Fit and Fear of Pants Ripping and I'm not having a good time

[chemol-2]

may everyone *please* feel niceys and good and stuff