#im so glad i found some time to draw
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zemantler · 2 years ago
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Escape pod worked!! :]
im not a landscape artist i mostly just drew people my entire life so this was really hard and it still doesn't look like what i wanted but oh well! At least I didn't give up on it like I planned to when stuff didn't go my way halfway trough :D
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months ago
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Each time you draw Daigo or Masato in a corset I gain 500 HP thank you
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do you accept corset tops. may you live a thousand years
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kkoct-ik · 4 months ago
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wait! a! minute! something's! not! right!
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batfossil-fr · 6 months ago
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months ago
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds
#rat rambles#stars posting#I wanna make a thing for odile's parallel scene to the bathroom scene were sif forgets odile's name#but it takes place in the traps room by the wood carving tools which isn't the worst room to have to draw ig but I still dont want to#I could just take the lazy route and just sketch the scene so I can get it out of my head and I probably will#but at the same time I also should draw more stuff with backgrounds even if it makes me want to throw up and cry#but yeah the scene is basically just odile having a derealization moment while thinking abt the wooden odile carving sif made for her#just her looking at it and feeling nothing and trying to look ahead at siffrin expecting to be reminded of what it's supposed to make her#feel and just being met with the same emptyness in her chest as she can barely even recognize the person in front of her until they look#back at her and their expression shifts into a extremely concerned one#does that make sense? idk if Im explaining it well but I hope it makes sense#but yeah smth smth them becoming less real to eachother overtime much to the horror of both#also unrelated but I need to start rotating loop in this au in my head more theres so much to work with here#I have some vague ideas and thoughts but I have been too odile brained to properly elaborate on those in my head#Im honestly just glad Ive finally made an au that I can actually get invested in fleshing out#I havent rly found a good headspace to rly play around with the main cast but this is actually giving me smth to chew on#usually most thoughts I have abt isat just lead to me thinking abt my ocs lol#regardless Im having fun with this au and I hope that I can bring myself to commit to it#also Ive been trying to think of a decent name for this au and Im half tempted to call it from the top or smth but I feel like Im tempted#to call like every story I make that so Im on the fense abt it#especially since thats what Ive been planning on calling the prologue for spiraling upwards#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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malewifesband · 6 months ago
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EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support
however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:
autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.
EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST
people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things
his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached
hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.
his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem
he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel
he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)
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lilybug-02 · 1 year ago
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alqweafjsdivk This is amazing ferronickel. 😭🥳💞💟💖⭐️🌈🔥✨ Oh My God. The level of detail in this is breathtaking. Chara and Asriel in your style is so cool. They look so real and happy. *melts* Like this is so overwhelmingly beautiful. The lighting, the line work, the DETAIL. 🥹😭🥺
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Happy second anniversary to The Chara Timeline by @lilybug-02! I've been wanting to do some slightly Looking Glasses style fanart of these goobers for a while, and an anniversary seems like the perfect occasion.
Working on any project for two years, let alone a comic, is a huge achievement. I think sometimes it's tough to realize just how much work goes into creating a comic on your own, especially when you have other obligations. So congratulations on two years, and I'm looking forward to seeing where the comic goes from here!
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voikiraz · 7 days ago
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Lover ; niki 니키 .
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Lovers . bf!niki x fem!reader w. None i think step ? #758 M.recordings ! [ i cant believe its overrr, but im so grateful for the love yall gave this seriesand im glad you enjoyed ittt ! Mwahh ]
Syn. Lover niki and actions he does that makes you fold every time
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ꕤ ni-ki always has a thing for making you origami stuff, whenever you meet up, he has something made out of paper for you, a flower on a picnic date, a bird while you're watching the sunrise, an animal when you're in a pet shop cause you're thinking of adopting a pet, a little envelope with a paper that has his number even though you already have it, everything, you name it.
One day you decided to show up unannounced at his dorm.
You had made him an origami flower, deciding to pay him back for all the hard work he put into the ones he made you, you knew how hard it is from the constant tries that you were taking, over and over again.
You knocked on his door three times then waited, humming to some song while waiting for someone to open the door.
Once the door opened, a shocked niki stood in front of you.
"What are you doing here?"
"Is that how you greet your girlfriend?" You ask, frowning.
"No- I'm sorry I just-" he tries to reason but then a smiley jake pops up from behind him.
"He was making you an origami bouquet and he doesn't want you to know" Jake says, rolling his eyes as riki groans, there goes the surprise.
ꕤ TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU. this boy 100% has a locked folder of a ton of pictures of you. He can have pictures from your born day and you would never know where he got them from.
He probably bribed your dad to get these photos.
And the way he takes pictures of you all the time.
If you two meet on campus on a busy day and you only have 2 minutes to talk, HE WILL TAKE A PIC OF YOU.
he just loves you like that, and he probably looks at these pictures all the time.
You thought he just takes pics for fun and delets them later, but you found out that it's totally the opposite.
"Yo niki, can I change the song?" Sunoo asks from the passenger seat, niki sitting right behind him with the aux plugged in his phone.
"Yeah sure" niki hands him his phone, being stupid enough to not close the opened folder that's FLOODED with your pics.
"Do you seriously have a full folder of y/n pictures?" Sunoo says and nikis eyes widen, snatching his phone from sunoos hold as you stare at him with a smile.
"Wait you do? I want to see" you say and he just rolls his head back, wondering why everything gets exposed by his bandmates, he can never live in peace.
ꕤ anywhere, everywhere, all the time. Your scrunchie or hair tie is always around his srist.
First sleepover? He stole a hair tie.
You went out on a cafe date and you need to tie your hair? He has one!
It's the start of his concert but he almost forgot to take off your hair scrunchie from his wrist.
He always will Have one.
It came to a point where fans started questioning it.
Whenever he comes over he steals one, or whenever you let your hair down, he just steals it and never returns it.
You started to think you will never see them again (you won't)
He has a collection. Trust me.
It just makes him feel close to you, but he will never say it, he hides it by saying 'you always lose your hair ties, and you always whine when we're out that you want to tie your hair that's why I have one with me'
Total lie, but you find him adorable so you let him.
ꕤ okay this may sound stupid, but you and niki would definitely buy colouring books and colour together when you're alone in the dorm, away from the eyes of your friends.
Now look me in the eyes and say he wouldn't do that.
One day you were hanging together and you saw he had a colouring game so you just bought some colouring books without saying anything to him.
And then you just go to his dorm, your bag filled with colours and colouring books, and you 'force' him to colour with you.
(You let him pick the drawing)
You two took it so seriously, assigning each one with colours and the spaces they should colour, and you definitely made a competition about who would and wouldn't go out of line.
It just became your thing at this point.
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© voikiraz 2O24
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mviswidow · 5 months ago
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in search of silence
Eloise Bridgerton x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
Warnings: r is in an abusive marriage, angst, el to the rescue, some fluff at the end
Summary: Eloise and R are childhood best friends. When a new season begins, they find themselves reunited for the first time since R has entered her marriage that was set up by her parents.
Prompt: could i request a fic with childhood bestfriends eloise bridgerton x f!reader. eloise and reader stopped talking to each other as often because reader got married and one day eloise catches reader’s husband being mean to her (this can be physically or verbally) and eloise defends reader and they rekindle their friendship/old feelings for each other.
sidenote, ive always loved your mcu women fics and im SO glad you’re taking requests for eloise now 😭😭🫶
A/N: thank you anon!! for both the request and the compliment. i love eloise sm this was so fun to write
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Muffled shouting stole Eloise’s attention when she escaped from the ballroom of this week's ball that she had been forced to attend with her family. She hadn’t wandered far enough to no longer be able to hear the string quartet playing, but the sound of a deep voice yelling angrily was hard to miss as she passed what she assumed was a drawing room.
Though Eloise knew she should not eavesdrop, she found herself unable to mind her business and stopped in her tracks, gravitating closer to the commotion.
--
“I am through with you,” Your husband shouted, face red with rage.
The moment his hand had clasped forcefully around your wrist to drag you into a room with him earlier, you knew what was coming for you.
“James, please - someone will hear,” you responded in a hushed voice, thoroughly embarrassed at the thought.
“Let them! Everyone should know the bitch of a wife you are,” he spat.
You knew better than to talk back to him, and yet, “I’ve done nothing to you at all! You’ve no reason to -”
A heavy-handed slap to your face was sure to silence you. You could feel the blood rushing to your cheek, and your hand rose shakily to cradle the side of your face. Hot tears brimmed your eyes as you breathed deeply to steady yourself.
“I’m leaving.”
“Please -” you forced yourself to say, a feeble attempt to calm him down, lest his temper worsen on his way home.
“Enough from you! I-”
The door burst open and you felt as if your heart was about to leap out of your chest.
You were astounded to see Eloise standing in the doorway, her lips in a tight line. It had been long since you’d seen her last. She was beautiful, as always. For a moment you forgot your present situation until you noted the fire in her eyes. She was furious, but she kept herself composed, “Is everything alright in here? I heard quite the commotion from outside as I was passing by.”
“We are quite fine.” He turned back to you and after a moment, he spoke, “I’ll send the carriage back around for you once I arrive home. I cannot stand the sight of you at present.”
“Lady Bridgerton,” he said curtly. Eloise barely had time to register the fact that James was walking towards her and stepped out of his way just in time.
“Lord Anderson,” she managed out, deciding to forgo her polite curtsy. She had deemed that he did not deserve it.
You both jumped at the sound of the door slamming upon his exit.
Her head felt as if it was spinning. She’d recognized your voice from outside the instant you spoke. The thought of this being the reality of the marriage your parents had arranged for you devastated her. She wouldn’t let herself imagine how horrid it was for you when you were actually at home.
Your cheek still burned from being slapped and there was no doubt in your mind about it being tinged pink. You were beyond mortified and the relief of James finally having left had tears falling down your face rapidly.
As much as you wanted to take in Eloise, who you hadn’t had a moment alone with since last season, you were lost in your mind. You dreaded your impending arrival back home and prayed that your husband would be fast asleep.
After a few more seconds you pried your eyes away from the bookcase you had been staring at and settled your gaze on Eloise.
She somehow looked more stunning than you had remembered her to be and your heart squeezed painfully. Her hair curled carefully over her shoulders in such a familiar way and it reminded you of how you used to twirl her curls in your fingers whenever she would rest her head in your lap.
The Bridgerton made her way over to you carefully. The concern on her face was evident and you knew by the way her eyebrows were crinkling together that she had much to say.
She stopped when she was just a few feet in front of you. For once, she seemed unable to form a proper sentence.
You were sure she couldn’t find the right words. You weren’t sure how you should navigate this situation yourself, but you had had enough of the silence, “I’m sorry you had to hear all of that.”
Eloise shook her head immediately, “You have nothing to be apologizing for.”
There was another lull of silence. All either of you could do was look into each other’s eyes. Hers looked so sad. How you hated to see them so.
“I assure you I am quite alright.”
“There is no use in lying to me, Y/n/n.”
Your bottom lip trembles at the familiar nickname and she hurries closer, engulfing you in a hug.
She felt you trembling as she held you against her. “I’m here,” she whispered, arms wrapped tightly around you.
It was not long before sobs racked your body and all she could do was rub your back and occasionally give you a few words of reassurance. Eloise felt her heart splitting into pieces the longer you cried.
You were certain that you would give anything to stay in her arms forever. There was nowhere in the world where you felt safer. Her chest radiated warmth and you took comfort in the very familiar scent of her perfume.
Once you’ve calmed slightly, you apologize again, “I’ve missed you terribly. And I have been the furthest thing from a friend to you. I’ve allowed James to drive the people closest to me out of my life and I won't stand for it any longer.”
“I can’t have you getting in trouble because of me,” she shook her head.
“Oh, hush, El,” you chuckled wetly. “I’ve been in trouble with my Mama countless times because of you.”
She knew you were joking to make light of the situation, but she found nothing humorous about it. Especially not as she reached up to wipe away the tears on your face.
“How long has it been this way?” she inquired, speaking with a gentle voice.
“A handful of months. He’s become rather frustrated by the fact that I have yet to produce an heir for him and his displeasure with me grows stronger by the second.”
Eloise’s face scrunched in indignation, “That is ridiculous.”
“It’s fair enough - that is why he was searching for a wife in the first place.”
“It’s unacceptable behavior from him regardless of that fact,” she was quick to rebuke. She took your hand in her own and squeezed gently. The feel of your skin against hers made her heart race.
“I’d like to get out of the house tomorrow. Do you think your mother should have my head if I busied you the whole day?”
“Not at all. She’s missed you quite a lot as well,” Eloise smiled.
Your heart fluttered at the admittance.
“Will you be okay tonight?”
“I will. I’m sure he’ll drink himself to sleep the second he arrives home.”
You could tell Eloise didn’t like the sound of that, but she said nothing.
She was grateful that you wanted to spend the day with her tomorrow, not only because she would be eager to see how you were but also because she’d missed your company so very much.
--
Almost two fortnights later, you’re riding in a carriage to a ball with your husband sitting across from you. He grows tired of waiting for you to finally come to be with child. Intercourse with him is nauseating and at this point, you’re praying that your courses don’t come next month for a multitude of reasons.
The ride is sour, as you’ve just had a nasty argument, ending in you being pushed into a table. Your right arm ached still, but you were sure that nothing was broken.
You were excited to escape from your husband and find your dear Eloise the moment the opportunity arose. Your feelings for her made you ever so giddy when you were around her. You felt almost childish at your eagerness to leave your husband and find your friend, but you had been swept into this marriage on your just first season out, which was only last year. It barely gave you any time to enjoy balls with her without courting.
Running around with Eloise at the last ball felt so normal, oddly enough. It was incredibly refreshing to spend the better part of the evening with her, sipping on champagne and cracking jokes. Even though you knew it was slightly improper as you were now married and should have been at your husband’s side, listening to him boast about his fortune and how impatient he was to have an heir with whoever would listen, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It did anger him, however. You had learned so after the last ball when he reprimanded you for almost half of an hour about your behavior as if you were his child and not his wife.
You’d decided to behave for the first hour, at least. It frustrated you so to listen to James drone on to his acquaintances, but you knew it was what needed to be done since he was already on edge from his earlier outburst.
The Bridgertons arrived after you, and you spotted Eloise immediately. You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face when you saw the way her eyes lit up when she caught sight of you.
You squeezed James’ arm absentmindedly out of the excitement you felt. When he looked down at you, you played it off by giving him a look that should have been directed toward Eloise.
That had seemed to satisfy him well enough and he returned to his conversation, allowing you to return to observing your favorite Bridgerton from afar.
Eloise’s hair cascaded over one of her shoulders and two strands of soft curls beautifully framed the sides of her face. Her dress was blue, as it usually was, and it was embellished with embroidered flowers.
You could hardly peel your eyes away from her, but you forced yourself to redirect your attention to your husband once more.
After what you deemed an appropriate amount of time, you excused yourself to find more pleasant company.
It seemed as if you had run into almost every Bridgerton before her, though. You greeted all three of her present brothers before finding Violet and Agatha in conversation and curtsying to both. Violet even extended a hand to squeeze yours for a moment, happy to see you.
As soon as you began a conversation with her and Lady Danbury, you were accosted by Eloise, who gripped your arm excitedly. You winced briefly, now bruised from your earlier encounter with the table of your drawing room.
You relaxed your expression and the pinch in your brow was gone once it settled in that you were in Eloise’s presence, she still noticed your discomfort despite your futile efforts to mask it and found herself glancing down at your arm.
Her nostrils flared at what she saw, she had half the mind to find Lord Anderson at that moment, but she looked back up to you and saw the bright grin on your face and melted, a smile of her own growing quickly.
She swiftly looped her arm through yours and began to pull you away, wanting you to herself, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to steal Lady Anderson away. I’ve hardly had any time with her all week.”
The older women chuckled and shook their heads, recognizing this familiar routine that the two of you had been accustomed to last year.
“Have a nice time ladies,” Violet smiled, not even bothering to remind Eloise to attempt to fill a few spots on her dance card. She knew how the girl had missed you, and didn’t have it in her to force her daughter away from you. Violet rather appreciated how cheerful Eloise happened to get whenever you were around, especially at balls, where genuine smiles from the young lady were scarce.
Eloise guided you to a corner of the ballroom, not failing to make a stop at the refreshment table and hand you a lemonade. You were relieved to be by her side at last. There was nothing you had desired more in the past week, where you had only been able to promenade with her once, as James had been irritable.
The longer you were around her, the more you felt the pressure on your chest relieve itself. You were able to breathe so easily around Eloise. You suddenly became aware of the fact that her thumb was passively rubbing your arm and you had to blink a few times, not sure if you were dreaming it.
You ached for her to touch you more. You’d once attempted to imagine that your husband’s hands were hers, but they were far too rough, and you gave up quickly.
Your mind wandered for a moment, but before it could stray too far, you snapped yourself out of it.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” you pointed out, turning your head towards your best friend. It was quite unlike her.
She tilted her head in a shrug, “You seem as though you could use a little quiet.”
“You know me far too well, Eloise,” a smile returned to your lips, something she never failed to do, and you shook your head. “But please, if there’s anyone I’d like to hear ramble, it is always you.”
Eloise scoffed in mock offense, “I do not ramble.”
“You do, too,” you teased. “I like it.”
She chortles in response and the two of you hold eye contact. She looks at you with a fondness that you recognize yourself often directing toward her.
Eloise breaks it for a short moment to glance down at your lips.
When she does it once more, you’re suddenly overtaken by instinct and put your lemonade on a serving tray, taking hers and doing the same.
“What-”
Eloise is interrupted by you taking her gloved hand in your own and dragging her out of the ballroom. She doesn’t miss the way you check over your shoulder for your husband, who is heavily occupied, drinking and joking happily with his friends.
You begin making your way into the gardens when you hear Eloise chirp up from behind you.
“We shouldn’t be out here,” she says, not quite like she means it.
You roll your eyes, “Then it’s a good thing you’ve never cared for rules, isn’t it?”
“I suppose so,” she couldn’t be offended, it was true, and it was exhilarating to be truly alone with you for the first time in such a long while.
You stopped when you’d reached a dead end and you were sure you were not only alone but completely hidden from anyone looking outside.
Eloise tried to stop her mind from racing. She couldn’t be sure of why you had pulled her out of the ballroom. She waited with bated breath to find out, trying to suppress the excitement she felt. You could just be in search of fresh air, or actual silence, which required you to be far enough to hear the music no longer.
Your breathing quickened as you stood in front of her. She took note of it, and against her better judgment, let her eyes flicker to your chest. Then up to your lips, which were parted slightly. Her eyes lingered, before finally meeting your own.
While you badly wanted to tell her everything on your mind, you could hardly form a proper sentence, “El…”
You could hear her breath, ragged from nerves as she took a step closer to you.
There was a question in your eyes. You were grateful that you did not have to utter it. She knew.
She told you that she knew with the glassy nature of her eyes, the parting of her mouth, and her breath fanning across your face as she brought herself closer.
You closed the distance, pressing your lips to Eloise’s. The gentle kiss did not take long to turn eager, almost desperate, both of you feeling free from the sole secret you had kept from each other.
Her lips were soft and warm. They were everything you had dreamed of.
You lost yourself in Eloise, your hands finding their way to her jaw. Your body felt as if it was being lit from the inside when she pressed you into her with a firm hand at the small of your back. Your head almost spun from the contact of her chest against your own.
Despite not wanting to, you pulled away the slightest bit to catch your breath. You did not miss the way she chased your lips.
She had never looked more beautiful. Your heart swelled as she began to smile, which turned into a breathy chuckle.
You shook your head as you joined her with a giggle and let your arms wrap around your neck, hugging her tightly.
“I love you, El. So much,” you whispered.
You felt her breath hitch and her arms tightened around your waist, “I love you too. So very much. It pains me so to watch you from across a ballroom when I want nothing more than to be by your side.”
All of a sudden, your reality came flooding back to you.
“You deserve so much more than that brute that calls himself your husband. He should be honored to spend the time with you that he does. He is a fool for not seeing how precious you are.”
Tears welled in your eyes as she spoke, “I wish I had never married, El. I’m miserable.”
“I know. I’m not sure how much peace this brings you, but you should know that I am here for you, at any time of day or night. You could barge into the Bridgerton house in the late hours of the night and I shall be ready to dissolve your worries with my charming wits and whatever biscuits we can find in the kitchens.”
You found yourself laughing, as you always did in Eloise’s presence, “Thank you.”
“It is my pleasure,” her lips quirked up.
“What are we to do now? About us, I mean.”
“We’re going to have to find a way to get you out of that house of yours however often we can. And if Lord Anderson lays another finger on you I will sic my entire family and Lady Danbury on him. We’ll see how he likes that.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I’d say I’m known for being ridiculous, you shouldn’t be surprised,” she raised a brow playfully before looking over her shoulder. “I highly doubt anyone is missing us in there…”
“What might you be suggesting, Miss Eloise,” you ask, feigning innocence.
“I think you know quite well what I suggest.”
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atyourmerci · 9 months ago
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† Salvation †
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Read pt.1 and pt.2
Summary: finale of repent series! Drabble of abby and readers life after abby comes to terms with her sexuality. Happy ever after lesbos<3
Warnings: smut, MDNI, switch!abby, switch!reader, religion play of course, strap usage, refers to strap as cock, cunnilingus, overstimulation, bondage, smnophilia, dirty talk yurrrr, some fluff
A/N: thank you so much for all of the love on this series!! Religious guilt/trauma is a tricky subject and I’m glad that I was able to portray it in a light that most of you could relate or sympathize with. And yall im so bad at writing fluff that’s why this is so short lmao that’s why I only write smut. I’m so excited to write through more niche experiences and topics. Love you like always<3
That night was nothing like the first. Your God showed mercy, wrapping your cold, shaky body with cloth and carrying you to where it all started.
This time she held you and never left, she was there was the sun came beaming down, drying out your soaked hair. While you were asleep she had removed her cross and strung it along your neck. Maybe there was no need hold a token of a god she had already met, maybe she wanted everyone else to know- you never cared to question her antics.
After your mission had ended she immediately broke things off with Owen, reclaimed herself within the community. And she for one took no shit with the commentary from anyone about the two of you. Her life mission was to protect you at all costs now, you were all she knew. She wouldn’t leave your side anymore. Anything you did she made sure she was there to protect you, she wouldn’t put your life in anyone else’s hands but her own.
There was a lot of things you had to teach Abby, and by teach, that meant showing her with your legs wide open. On a mission you both were sent out on to look for resources you ran across a run down sex shop. You found a girthy dildo with black leather straps, it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken but with the look of excitement on Abby’s face you couldn’t say no to her. You told her you could use it on her but she insisted on fucking you right there over the counter at the dusty sex shop. She wasted no time dragging your pants down to your ankles and ripping your panties seams to get inside, ”I’d tell you to suck my cock first but you’re so fucking wet already, how bad have you wanted this,hmmm?” She promised she’d go slow, walking you through it, “fuck you’re doing so good, taking me so well for your first time.” After your pain had been replaced with sheer pleasure she couldn’t hold back anymore, pumping into you so hard there was sure to be bruises all over your hips. After abusing your hole for an hour for her own amusement she finally let you cum while drawing circles around your swollen clit as she pounded deep and slow thrust into you. you were so cockdrunk she had to carry you back to the truck and finish the mission herself, it went by quickly as she imagined things she could do to you next with her cock.
She loved showering with you at night, she never let you lift a finger, washing your body gently after sneaking in the strap into the showers. Maybe it was because she learned how to fuck you in the showers that it made her so dominant in that environment. She wouldn’t let you touch her in there even after you begged her while she pinned your arms against the wall, overstimulating your clit over and over again until she was done with you. After she’d run you a bath and hold your fragile body as she ran soapy strips up and down your bruised skin, making sure to kiss every inch so that never missed an atom of your being.
Abby only regressed back into her old ways when she let you take complete control. She’d let you tie her to the bed you shared edging her till she was in tears, babbling prayers to climax. You’d tie her cross necklace around her clit and tug on it while you used your tongue to fuck her dripping hole. You’d only let her cum after she got on her knees like a whore eating away at your cunt while you shamed her for her sins.
Your life with abby wasn’t like anything you’d ever experienced before, but there was no before her, or after her. There was only your god, and hers.
Maybe she had still repented for her sins, maybe she had reached salvation at the mercy of your own sins.
Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson2 @lanafresitas @lookforthelight1 @fict1onallyobsessed
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reidmania · 4 months ago
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Could you do a Derek Morgan x reader fic where they are soulmates and the reader is a Detective on a case?
unprofessional | derek morgan
summary ; when derek meets the detective on a case, he can’t help but feel a draw towards her — its unprofessional.
warnings; detective!fem!reader! mentions murder and rape, normal cm stuff. flirty flirty.
an ; i kinda hated how this turned out bc it was just not right whatsoever and i feel like i completely flunked the request but i can def rewrite it if u want!!
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Your hands bushed over the case files as you set them down on the table, you were engrossed in a conversation with a police officer. You had been called in to help with a case along side the FBI BAU — yet they weren’t here yet.
Or so you thought, although you stood corrected when there was a knock at the door of the conference room you were standing in, turning around at the sound you looked up.
“Hello, Im Agent Aaron Hotchner from the bau” The male introduced, stepping inside the room, you watched as their team found there way in, shaking hands with the officer each, besides one guy who you had learnt the name of — Spencer Reid.
“This is our detective on the case” The officer introduced you before you took over, telling them your name and last name as you went down the line shaking each of their hands, skipping over Spencer — instead opting for a little wave out of respect.
You breath caught in your throat as you looked at the guy standing next to him — to say he was stunning was an understatement. You instantly felt the urge to gush about how he looked like a work of art — but you opted for keeping in professional.
“Derek Morgan” He introduced as he held his hand out, you wasted no time placing your hand into his, it consumed all your focus for a moment as you focused on the every rough callous in his soft hands, you could feel the indent on his trigger finger as it rested against the palm of your hand.
“It’s nice to meet you.” You said, once you regained your focus enough — you were glad it was quick enough— before the hand shake got too long and slightly awkward.
He shot a toothy grin in your direction as you stepped back, leaning against the conference table as you looked over the team, but your eyes kept wandering back to Derek Morgan.
“The case?” Hotch asked, stepping forward, instantly his team followed his movement, making themselves comfortable in the room to which they’d be spending a lot of time in.
“Two murders, both female victims. They were raped before their murders and both killed in the same way, a slit throat” You partly cringed as the image flooded your mind before you could stop it.
“Any similarities between the two victims?” Spencer spoke up, the officer looked over at you, making you stand quietly as you took the floor.
You had been working closely with the crime scene over the last few days before the bau were called in. You had taken notice of everything, every detail, everything there was to notice — you’d notice it.
“Physically, no. Expect they both had evident birth marks, ones easy to be seen, on arms or shoulders — it may be nothing but that was the only physical similarity besides them both being seemingly attractive” You walked around the table over to the board to hang up a few photos, close ups of the birth marks.
“And we are sure this is the same unsub?” You smiled when Derek spoke — not in a way that questioned your abilities but more pure curiosity to how you had gotten to that answer:
You nodded “Yep” popping the P in the end of your sentence as you held up a few more photos, sticking them to the whiteboard. “He left the name note next to their bodies, signed it off with a signature.” You said.
Emily chewed at her lip as she looked over the photo. “It looks printed” She noticed, a few of the other members looked over the photo at her notice.
“Exactly — but not fake, it’s a real signature. We did some digging — Well I did.” You muttered before opening a different case, you wet your thumb as you flicked through pages of paper, before pulling out a couple different sheets, placing them on the table for the agents to look over.
“Three online purchases were made with that signature.. on the same illegal website” You muttered as you flicked through some more paper. “Where he brought a knife from — the same sort of knife found used for the girls deaths, pharmaceuticals but like heavy ones — id say the names but im sure i’d just screw it up” You muttered as you placed the receipt on the table.
“It looks like you got this all figured out girly, what do you need us for” Derek asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he leant back in his chair. You smiled widely at his comment, it felt complementary.
“Well as great as I am” You played along, “Im no fbi profiler. I don’t know who we are looking for, I just wanted to make your job as easy as possible” You smiled.
Derek smiled back just as widely, “Got anything else for us pretty?” He asked.
“Morgan” Hotch’s tone was laced with warning.
You knew what it was; it was the stop flirting tone.
“It’s okay” You nodded to Hotch, “I do actually” You said, leaning back against the whiteboard against the wall as you looked back at Derek. “The crime scenes were very similar but not close — distance wise. They both were in public area’s on the side of the road and both victims weren’t found until early mornings, but had been dead for nearly ten hours previously” You explained.
“So he dropped them during the night?” Elle asked, you nodded. “Well I assume so” You shrugged.
“Anything else?” Hotch asked, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked over the pages you had placed on the table.
“Yes — grains of the same coffee brand were found on the girls shirts and in their hair. Theres only one coffee shop that sells those beans but that is nearly an hour away from where the victims were found.”
“So either we have a coffee enthusiast who drives an hour for a specific brand of coffee, or someone who lives closer to the shop.” Spencer said, frowning slightly as he tried to think about all the possibilities.
“Coffee enthusiasts? You aren’t the unsub are you?” Derek asked, nudging Spencer’s side slightly, making you smile as Spencer took offence.
“Ill leave you guys be” You smiled as you excused yourself from the room, leaving to do another sweep of the crime scenes just to see if there was anything you missed.
It wasn’t until two days later you were back, you were instantly met with the smell of fresh coffee as you walked into the conference room to find it empty, besides Derek Morgan sitting there.
“Hey pretty, how’d ya go” He asked, sipping the cup of coffee in his hands as he leant back in his chair. You chuckled at the nickname before taking a seat on the other side of the table.
“Yeah— nothing new, which I expected because I don’t miss things” You sighed dramatically, your tone was evidence of the cockiness being a joke.
Derek beamed back at you. “I believe you. You had me fooled, i was questioning why we came here.” He teased lightly.
“Oh but Im no profiler, just a detective” You said, as if it was such a comparison. He chuckled lightly, “They aren’t all that different, im sure you could’ve figured this one out on your own — I think you just wanted the bau to come out so you could see me.” He shrugged nonchalantly.
You genuinely chuckled, “Oh no!!- you caught me. Derek Morgan — my hero” You played into his teasing meeting your match, placing your hand against your chest speaking with dramatic admiration.
He just grinned, “Where is everyone?” You asked, looking around the room.
“Who knows” He shrugged, before shaking his head “Nah- They went out to interview the victims families.” He said once he actually processed your question.
You nodded your head opening the casefile to read over it again, it was a habit you adapted to early in your career. It was easy to miss little things, and it was your job not to miss them.
“You all good?”?” Derek asked, you looked up for a moment noticing his eyes boring into yours — you wondered if he ever looked away once you did, or if his gaze stayed on you, his forearms were resting against the conference table.
You nodded your head, eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Im all good.. Why? Do I not look all good” You asked, slightly worried maybe you came across upset or something — you weren’t. You were actually completely content
“No you look very good”
Your cheeks flushed at his compliment, making you shake your head, pulling away from his gaze as a smile tugged on the corner of your lips. “You’re a sweet talker.” You muttered.
He grinned widely as he leant back in his chair. “Yeah? Is it working?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Your stomach tugged slightly — you weren’t the type to get nervous nor intimidated yet you could feel your cheeks heating.
“Are you flirting with me, Agent Morgan?” You eyes flicked away from file, back up to meet his eyes, your eyes lingered on his own for a moment.
He shrugged, “Would that be unprofessional?” He asked, clocking his eyebrow as his head tilted to the side, you watched as his eyes trailed over his face.
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I think we both knew the answer to that.” You reminded. Although you knew in the back of your mind, it was one case.
He hummed in reply but his eyes never left your face. “Okay.” He nodded, before sitting up a bit straighter, rubbing his hand gently over his lip before leaning forward against the table.
You smile, tilting your head the opposite direction that his was slightly tilted — there was something so enchanting about the way he looked at you, like there was something he couldn’t get out of his mind. — like he couldn’t get you out of his mind.
“Do we care that it’s unprofessional?” He asked, your eyes traveled slightly down his face as the question brought heat to your cheeks. Over the last couple of days there had been a lot of subtle and not so subtle flirting between the two of you, sometimes it wasn’t even intentional. you two just had such good banter.
“Do we?” You asked, not quite sure what to say. You didn’t entirely care, it was for one case that was almost completely solved anyways, but there was a look on your face that showed your evident doubt — it was unprofessional and there was an underlying amount of guilt that you buried, it was unprofessional and you carried yourself on being professional.
He seemed to notice, he didn’t push, or blame, instead he just smiled sweetly at you. “I think we might, just a little bit” He said. You appreciated the way he didn’t single you out.
You didn’t know what to say as you looked over his features, the way he grinned with such expression, the smile on his face matching his eyes.
“So..” He said, clapping his hands together. “To be completely professional.. How about once we finish this date I take you out.” He said, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing.
You smiled widely at his suggestion, respecting your boundaries while maintaining the banter and interest between you two — All while asking you out.
“I’d like that.”
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wooahaes · 5 months ago
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skz - coming out as bisexual
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pairing: non-idol!skz x fem!bisexual!reader
genre: a mix of fluff and angst + hurt/comfort.
warnings: a mix of feelings toward coming out in each drabble (some more casual, some more emotional), all drabbles end with acceptance. some drabbles have reader having known for a long time, others are more recent discoveries. reader being outed at a party [minho]. depictions of a panic attack [minho]. biphobia mentions, including one accidental biphobic comment that gets called out and apologized for immediately [seungmin]. reader being fully prepared for a breakup [jisung] due to her sexuality. food mentions [felix].
daisy's notes: happy pride lol these are the last ones im gonna do <3
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bang chan
"someone told me my room has bisexual lighting once." chris flopped down onto his bed, hands coming to rest on his stomach. "i think it was felix, actually."
this was the first time you'd ever stepped foot into his bedroom. you'd seen it before on late night video calls, but you'd always paid a little more attention to your sleepy boyfriend than the lighting. felix had been right, though: the pink and blue lighting came together to make purple in such a pretty way. it oddly felt like fate that you wandered into his life, even though he didn't know.
... did he? no. he didn't know. you hadn't told him. but he could have figured it out. why else would he randomly mention the bisexual lighting thing?
"so?" he peeked up at you, watching the idle way you'd started looking around his room. "do you like it?"
"it's very you," you said with a soft hum. "kinda small, though."
"ah, well, yeah," he stretched his arms out, enough that he could reach the window if he boosted himself toward it a little. "this is the smallest room in the apartment. felix needed enough space for his gaming setup, and since seungmin is sharing a room with jeongin..."
you could connect the dots for yourself. "how sweet of you," you giggled. you sat down at the end of his bed, drawing your legs up so you could sit criss-cross next to him. your heart already started to pick up as you decided that this was it. it would be better to rip off the band-aid, wouldn't it? if chris wasn't the guy you thought he was... "i do like the lighting in here, though."
"oh, yeah?" he'd reached over to take your hand. "bisexual lighting. blue and pink are a really good color combination, i think."
"bisexual lighting, bisexual girlfriend..." you hummed to yourself, trying to act as casual as you could despite the way your heart was racing now. "seems like you just have a thing for bisexuality."
chris looked up, studying you for a moment. a moment later, he just smiled. "i guess i do," he said. and then he yanked you down so that you came crashing onto his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. "funny how that works out, hm?"
you just rested against him, watching the way he giggled to himself a little. he didn't seem offended in the slightest, which was good. "chris, i..."
he looked at you with a him. "is something wrong?" he paused, "did... did i say something wrong? i swear, i didn't mean to make you think i suspected something or wanted you to come out already—"
you shook your head. "nah. i know that." gently, you patted his arm. "i'm just glad you're you."
he shifted enough so that he was sitting up, you still in his arms, and he leaned in to kiss your temple. he nuzzled the side of your cheek, before planting one soft kiss against your lips. "i'm glad that you're you, too, angel."
lee minho
minho found you curled up in a bedroom upstairs in his house, hyperventilating. he heard what was said just as you did, so he knew... but he made his way over, kneeling down in front of you. this wasn't the first time he'd found you in the middle of a panic attack. but this time, he knew you better. he knew how to take care of you. once you were calm, he'd treat you to whatever you wanted before going home. it was the least he could do.
"can i touch you?" he said softly. when you nodded, he reached up to take your hands. "i'll count. all you have to do is breathe."
despite it, you started to babble out apologies. that you were going to tell him, really, but you wanted to do it on your own time and—
minho squeezed your hands. "i'm not angry at you," he promised. "it's okay. let's calm down together."
without giving you the space you would use to get carried away again, minho began to count. despite the hiccups and the fact you felt like you could start crying all over again, you shut your eyes and tried your best to calm down. his voice was soft and even, slowly counting from one to ten and back down again. you didn't know how many times he did it, to be honest. all you knew was that once you could breathe again, minho had reached up to pull you into his arms.
"it's okay," he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss against your temple. when he drew back, it was to look you in the eyes. "i love you. if you want me to forget what i heard, i will."
but other people won't. you wiped at your eyes. "minho, i..." you hiccuped again. no doubt your makeup was ruined at this point, and you'd made a point of making yourself look cute because this was supposed to be a fun night out.
"we can go down the stairs toward the back and go around the house," minho ran his thumb along your knuckles. "no one will see us."
you nodded slowly. "okay, but..." with another hiccup, you reached up to cup his cheek. "can... can i say it? and we can just pretend it's the first time you're hearing it?"
he nodded. "whatever you need."
with a deep breath, you pushed away those lingering nerves. "hi." you blinked back tears. "i love you. i'm bisexual. i hope this doesn't cha—"
"it doesn't." he leaned in to kiss you, soft and sweet and short. "it never would, honey."
your breath hitched at how tender he was treating you, always so loving and soft when you needed him to be. minho could tease you endlessly at times, or he could be blunt and funny and weird... but he was one of the most loving people you knew. the light caught your couple's ring just right, and it felt the universe was sending you a reminder that you'd made the right choice in being with him.
"i love you," he said in a low voice, and he brushed back a strand of hair from your face. "thank you for trusting me with this." he stood up, gently tugging for you to stand with him. "let's go home."
before he could move, you pulled him back into your arms. the two of you just stood there, holding one another for as long as you needed to face the world again.
seo changbin
you weren't sure how the two of you ended up on this topic. one minute, changbin had been telling you about a recent outing he had with a friend. the next, the two of you were talking about your past relationships. changbin had been tracing his fingers alongside your arm idly, talking about a high school girlfriend when he finally turned the topic around on you. he'd been nervous the first time he kissed her, heart racing and everything. he'd been nervous the first time he kissed you, too, apparently.
"you dated before you met me, right?"
ah. shit. either you had to outright lie about your past relationships, few as they may be, or... just tell him. one of your friends had always been insistent on you telling the people you dated up front about your identity, just to weed out the bad ones. but you'd always ended up shying away from the idea a bit, especially when you ended up attached to people. and changbin...
well... it'd been a little too easy to get attached to changbin. ever since the night he'd asked you to officially be his girlfriend, all starry-eyed and blushy, you'd sworn you fell for him then and there.
"yeah," you said, not meeting his gaze. "i dated a little, yeah."
"well?" he watched you curiously. "am i better than those guys?" he'd teased you, smiling a cute smile that always left you wanting to kiss him.
you glanced up, watching him for a second. "well. guy and girl, but yeah, i'd say you're pretty cool."
he blinked once, then twice, and seemed to take it in stride. "ah." he toyed with the bracelet around your wrist. "so... you're...?"
"bisexual. i've known since middle school," you shrugged. "is that a big deal?"
"no!" he quickly shook his head. "i was just curious. i heard that people use different labels, so..." his fingers brushed against your skin now. "i wanted to know. is that okay?"
the earnest way he asked you made you snort a little. "more than okay," you leaned in to kiss his cheek. "thank you for not freaking out or anything. the last guy i dated got weird about it and asked if i was straight when i was with him." you rolled your eyes. "i was young and stupid, so i didn't leave him when he asked, but i think it was a huge reason in why i did break things off."
changbin reached forward, drawing you closer to him. "well... i'm glad you did." he smiled at you, cheeks turning pink. "thank you for telling me, by the way," he squeezed your hips. "i trust you a lot, too."
with a giggle, you closed the distance between the two of you. truly, you'd lucked out with getting someone so cute into your life.
hwang hyunjin
"i like the colors of this one." hyunjin leaned over to where you had sketched out a embroidery design again on paper. he'd tapped the one in the colors of the bi flag, a sketch you'd done purely for your own self-indulgence while testing out colors, and something about that made your heart leap into your throat. "they look the prettiest here."
all you had meant to do was ask hyunjin for a second opinion on the colors for the flowery design you'd put together. you'd already set the design itself in stone days ago, but ended up spending way too much time that same afternoon drawing it out over and over with colored pencils to get an idea of how you wanted it to be composed. nothing seemed to make you happy, so when hyunjin came over to spend a cozy night in with you... you figured why not get your artistically inclined boyfriend to give his opinion?
"oh, really?" you tried your best to sound nonchalant about the whole thing. "you think so?"
he nodded. "i like the pastel ones, too... but this one is still the prettiest," he rested his head in one hand. "it's like that sunset we saw once... the one i took a picture of?" he traced the tip of his finger over the paper, careful not to smudge anything by accident. "you've always liked those colors, too."
that evening, you'd stepped out of a restaurant ahead of hyunjin. the sky had been a beautiful mix of blue and pink and purple, and you'd stepped a little farther to stand in awe of it. hyunjin snapped a picture of it (and you), and saved it as his phone background for a while. you didn't have the courage to tell him why you'd been so entranced by it. but this time...
"yeah," you said softly. "hyunjin, can i tell you something?"
he looked up, and you could already see how concerned he was. "did i say something bad?"
you shook your head. quietly, you reached for his hand, and held it within both of your own. "i like those colors because they're the same colors as the bisexual flag... so they mean something personal to me."
he glanced down at your hands for a moment, a bit clueless as to how serious the conversation had turned. "okay...?"
as much as you loved hyunjin and his witty, sometimes sarcastic brain, you swore his brain was always a step behind when you were even slightly touchy with him. he'd told you once that you made it hard to concentrate, but that had been in your early days of dating. "do i need to say it directly?"
he shook his head. "you're bisexual. right?"
you nodded. "is... is that going to be a problem?"
another shake of his head. "no," he said. "but thank you for telling me," he said softly. "i... should show you something."
he drew his hand away from your own, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. all too easily, he pulled up a picture he'd taken of a work-in-progress watercolor painting. you could clearly make out your silhouette against that sky. hyunjin's face had started to turn red.
"i was going to surprise you, but..." his eyes were softer as he gazed at you. "i want you to have it when i'm done. okay?"
"it's already beautiful," you cupped his cheeks, drawing him toward you. "thank you, darling."
han jisung
"i'm bisexual. it's okay if you want to leave me because of it."
the second sentence had broken his heart the moment he heard you say it over the phone. that was why jisung told you to wait for him: he'd be at your apartment within the next thirty minutes, if public transport was kind to him. all he had done was promise that he wasn't breaking up with you, just to hopefully set your mind at east. why had you chosen to do this over the phone...? he shook his leg as he sat on the bus, mind racing with possibilities. is it because you didn't trust him to react well...? or had you been too scared to do it any other way, so this was the easier way? he wasn't sure. all he could hope was that you trusted him either way. the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel like you weren't safe to be your most authentic self with him.
he ended up racing up the steps of your apartment complex, grumbling about how today, of all days, the elevator was out of order. not that it mattered. even if it left him winded, he pushed through it to end up at your door. and when he saw your face again, he saw a mix of emotions had built up inside you. a sense of relief that he was, indeed, there before you. a sense of fear because he'd raced there as fast as he could (to your knowledge)... to do what? to say what?
"i love you." he said, still a little breathless from the rush there. "and... and i accept you. and—" he reached into his pocket. "i made you this."
it was a small beaded bracelet he'd managed to string together quickly with the help of felix. he didn't explain the color choice: all he said was that they were colors you liked, and felix had accepted the reason easily enough. pink and purple and blue hearts, cute as could be. it needed to be cute: it was for his love, after all.
tears welled up in your eyes as jisung stretched the bracelet over your wrist. he kept your hand within his own, his touch as gentle as could be. "thank you for telling me," he said. "and... and i'd never leave you just because of who you are. i... i'm sorry if i ever made you think that."
you shook your head quickly, tears rolling down your cheeks. "i just... you... wouldn't have been the first to do it."
you could see the way jisung's heart broke in his eyes, his gaze so soft as he watched you. "oh. honey..." he reached up, cupping your cheek. "you don't have to worry about that. okay? i love you."
the tender way he said it to you now just proved how much he meant it. despite the fact that he was still standing in the hallway outside of your apartment, you stepped forward so that you could kiss him right then and there. the beads pressed into your wrist, a tiny gift to remind you just how much he cared. how quickly had he pulled it together...? you'd have to ask him later. but you drew back, smiling through your tears.
"i love you, too," you said softly. "thank you."
felix lee
"are you going to marry sebastian again this game?" felix's little character sprinted across your screen, making a last ditch effort to throw things into the shipping bin before the day is over. "i can save any stuff he likes if you are."
"nah. he's all yours." you tugged your blanket closer to your shoulders. felix hadn't said anything yet, so... maybe he didn't see the dish you left at his place? "hey, sunshine? did you get any water?"
"huh?" he looked up at his camera, gazing at you for a moment before looking over at his water bottle. he picked it up, gave it a slight shake, and then his head fell back. "shit."
"finish off this day," you said. "i'll wait."
as soon as he hopped into bed, the two of you were greeted with the end-of-day shipping screen. the day's earnings ticked up, and you watched as felix unraveled himself from his blankets and promised he'd be back in a few minutes. quietly, you watched him leave the room, door left open as he went to get water.
and you began counting down. he'd walk into his kitchen, go to refill his bottle... only to find the baking dish covered on his countertop. he'd ask himself how he missed it, and then—
"did you come by earlier?" felix was already coming back in the room, toting the thing in his hands. "you didn't tell me."
"i just dropped something off," you rested your head in your hands. "wore a mask the entire time. there's soup in the fridge, too."
he pouted as he looked up at the screen. "you didn't have to do that. you can't be cute when i'm sick like this..." he sniffled, and then ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. "are these lemon bars?"
less than a minute for him to call you cheesy, counting down now. he popped open the cover, only to stop and realize you'd spelled something out in powdered sugar. he looked up, staring at you for a minute.
"baby... did you literally just come out to me using lemon bars?"
"what, was i not supposed to?" you were fighting back a smile. you knew felix would be the one person you could one-hundred-percent trust with pulling a stunt like this. "but... yeah," you watched him. "you know how i've been weird lately? it's... kind of because of this." chewing the inside of your cheek, you watched him. "i just... i dunno. i've known for so long, and i feel like i should have told you sooner, but... i just really love you, you know? and i—"
felix stopped you before you could go on, "you don't owe me anything. so... don't say you should have told me sooner. it's your choice," he said, firm as he could be with you, "and you shouldn't make it based on what you think i do or don't deserve."
you blinked back tears. how did you get so lucky...? not every time you've told someone about your bisexuality went this well. fuck, some former friends were cruel to you over it—saying all the biphobic bullshit you'd seen ten times over online from complete strangers, even though it had never been directly aimed at you. the only reason you felt safe talking to felix about this now was because he'd been so warm and welcoming, and so normal about saying the words "her girlfriend" when telling you about some friends he'd met online.
all of a sudden, you were booted out of the game. before you could say anything, you could see felix gathering his things.
"i'm coming over," he said. "i'll—i'll wear a mask the entire time so you don't get my cold. i just... i wanna see you. is that okay?"
you nodded. "i'll be waiting."
kim seungmin
"... and so he broke up with her because she told him she's bisexual," you said, head resting in your hand. this entire story was an elaborate lie, but you needed to gauge something due to recent realizations you'd had about yourself. you just needed to know if seungmin would think that it was fucked up. it wouldn't guarantee your safety with him (nothing would, except you actually coming out), but it'd at least give you hope.
seungmin looked up. "really?" he'd been scrolling through social media on his phone. "what year is it?" he frowned. "it wasn't like she'd cheated or anything, right?"
something about the question twisted your stomach, the harmful stereotype nipping at the back of your mind. you spoke without hesitating: "being bisexual doesn't mean she cheated. it doesn't mean anyone is more likely to cheat."
"that's not—" seungmin paused, shaking his head. "no, you're right. i'm sorry. it's not what i meant, but..."
he didn't say anything further, but the way he was looking at you told you that seungmin was starting to figure things out. whether he'd figure out the story was a lie was more up in the air. but the quick way you'd defended this person you made up. "he just... said she was too confused for him," you lied. "that he didn't want to be with someone indecisive."
seungmin nodded slowly. "i think that's cruel." he watched you carefully, lips pressed together as he just... waited for you to say anything else. "is that—"
"i'm bisexual." the words slipped out of your mouth before you could think twice about it. "and i made the story up. i—i know testing you was wrong, but i wanted to know before i said anything so, i... i just..." tears brimmed your eyes, betraying you all too easily. why were you crying?
seungmin set aside his phone, moving in to wrap an arm around you. "i kind of figured that it was a lie," he said quietly. "how long have you known?"
your face heated up. why would he ask...? "kind of recently," you admitted. "i mean... i always kind of had girl crushes, but i kept thinking that they weren't as real or as valid because i never acted on any of them because i was too shy." it'd taken you a while to unravel those feelings, to fully accept that your attraction to women was just as valid as your attraction to men. but learning to accept it had been so, so important to you. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner, but—"
he shook his head, hands finding your own after a moment. "you're getting upset," he said, calm and steady as ever. "i think we should calm down and then talk about this."
you pulled one hand away so you could roughly wipe at your eyes. "so you're not mad...?"
"why would i be mad?" he frowned at you. "it's your identity. not mine. it doesn't change how you feel about me, right?"
you shyly nodded.
"then why would i be upset?" seungmin reached up to brush a strand of hair from your face. "i'd only be upset if you broke up with me because i love you. not because you're bisexual."
sometimes you appreciated how matter-of-fact seungmin could be. you'd seen the twinkle in his eyes whenever he was teasing you, but seungmin had always been good about fully stepping back and being straightforward when you needed it the most. slowly breathing in and out, you focused on calming yourself down entirely.
"i love you," he said firmly. "and... i'm glad that you choose me. it's sweet."
you were choosing him. it was such an obvious sentiment that you'd always felt, even when you thought you were only "truly" attracted to men, but it oddly meant more to hear him say now. he was acknowledging your attraction to others as equally valid, wasn't he? you just leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek.
"of course," you said softly. "i'd always choose you, silly."
yang jeongin
"what flag is that?"
the world seemed to stop around you. jeongin had been stretched out on your bed (the first time he'd ever been in your room, actually), waiting for you to finish an essay for one of your classes. the two of you were going to go out for dinner to celebrate six months together... and now jeongin had noticed the one thing you feared could end your relationship then and there. you were out and proud with your friends, with your housemates. but jeongin? you hadn't told jeongin yet. you were going to, at your own pace, but now felt a little soon...
so you decided to play dumb, looking away from your laptop. "what flag?"
jeongin just pointed at the little enamel pin frame you had, half-filled with pins. one of them had been a gift from your best friend after you came out to her: a little heart with the colors of the bi flag on it that she ordered that same day and gave to you a week later. you wore it to pride when you went with her last year, but you mostly kept it on display out of fear that you'd lose it. sure, it was easily replaceable... but the meaning behind it made it too sentimental to you to even risk it. you blinked, unsure of what to say.
jeongin rolled onto his side, watching you. "what country is that? is that a country's flag?" he rested his head against his hand. "the colors are too cool for that."
in any other situation, you would laugh. you reached out instead, fixing the pin from where it was a little crooked. "it's a bisexual pride pin. it's, uh, got the flag on it."
"ah." he nodded, looking at it. "i like the colors. they're pretty." he looked up. "is it yours?"
was this his way of letting you lie to him if you wanted to...? you looked at jeongin, and quietly nodded after a moment. "yeah," you said, ignoring the way your nerves were frazzled. no point in holding back now. "it's mine. my best friend gave it to me when i came out to her," you turned back to your laptop. "i usually wear a more subtle one, but... i didn't wanna lose this one, so..."
he nodded. a moment later, he reached out to stop you from typing away at your laptop. "are you okay?" his fingers came to rest on your pulse point, and you realized the ass was straight up checking to make sure you were okay. "oh, wow, your heart is racing."
"i just came out to you, you jerk," you playfully swatted at his arm. "of course my heart is racing."
he chuckled, "i thought it was just because i'm here." another playful swat at him sent him into giggles. "i mean it, though... are you okay?" he sat up, tugging one of your pillows into his lap. "you didn't have to tell me. i'm glad you did, because i really like you, but you could have lied if you weren't ready and i wouldn't have been upset."
"i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't ready," you said. "i trust you, jeongin." you turned after you saved the final draft of this essay one last time, reaching out to cup his face. "okay? let me submit this and then we can go out."
"okay," he turned his face so that he could kiss the side of your thumb. "but i want to buy dinner."
"jeongin—"
"coming out is really big, right?" his eyes were twinkling a little as he smiled at you. and when you nodded, he just kissed the side of your thumb again. "so i'll buy dinner tonight. we can split it next time."
instead of turning back to your laptop, you rolled your chair over so it was next to the bed. leaning in, you planted a soft kiss against his lips. "you're sweet," you said when you pulled back. "thanks, jeongin."
"of course," he said, voice softer than before. "i love you—" he paused, catching himself, "i really like you—"
you let him go as he changed the topic abruptly, pretending that he didn't just drop the big "L" word in one of the cutest ways you could imagine. instead, you just made plans to tell him you loved him when he walked you home tonight. just so he knew he wasn't alone in that.
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alicenpai · 10 months ago
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forgotten playthings, forgotten child 🧸
Jack from my series Lost & Found Children 🤍🖤
i hope to showcase more of my ocs in 2024 hehe! im FINALLY getting around to finishing art i left to rot in my folders (the pandora hearts drawing last month being one of em). if you saw the WIP of THIS particular drawing 2 yrs ago... no you didn’t 💔
my charas are very personal to me, but tbh ive always been a bit hesitant to share their stories. over time i realized ... it’s kind of a shame to not make art from one’s heart. which is something i regret a lot year after year whenever i make my yearly art summary reflection. i'm like damn i need to make more emotionally evoking pieces!!! so i'm gonna keep going in 2024 with that in mind ❤ i have to admit, although this drawing started 2 years ago, and there's a lot i would do differently if i were to supposedly draw it now - this concept goes pretty hard.
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the final drawing stayed pretty close to the original concept which im so relieved for! i think part of the reason why i left it on the backburner for so long, was the fact that i included so many details, and i was unsure of how to colour the "background". (not to mention stuff like cons & real life getting in the way).
i'm glad for discovering a really handy watercolour brush, it's helped me a lot in my last few drawings, bc i dont have to colour in each detail. especially since the witch hat atelier: eternal ephemera zine piece i did. otherwise if i coloured this back in 2022 with my usual method, i'm pretty sure i really would have included a shading and highlight layer for each individual toy... HAHAHA. much to think about
oh yeah and in the last few days of drawing this i was listening to some visual kei bands. i love how some of the band members literally have been performing since like the 90s or something and DO NOT AGE and are literal vampires. every so often i fall back into visual kei (you can tangentially thank aggretsuko although yes i know it's not the same). and i kind of realized. i like Jack's edgy design so much because he looks like. a visual kei esque vampire.
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punkitt-is-here · 1 year ago
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How can I cultivate the same, "just keeping making stuff all the time" kind of energy you have? It's very impressive and something I wish I could do!
well, theres a couple reasons i think! one is that i just found ways to be satisfied with small amounts of work. its in part because of my ADHD, but my parents were always trying new things (motorcycles, leatherwork, acrylic paint, collage art, photography, video editing) so that definitely rubbed off on me; i had a great example of people just wanting to try stuff. i keep making stuff all the time because i love trying out new things; you don't have to be an expert to try something new! you just have to have a desire for it! wanna make a zine? google it! wanna write a comic? give it a shot! wanna get into woodworking? buy a carving knife and find a stick or something! i think theres plenty of ways to find entry points into interesting stuff and you gotta let yourself be okay with making shit that sucks just because its fun. which leads me to my second point!!
im okay with being dogshit at stuff! i try new things, i kind of suck at them, and i think it's either 1. cool that i made it this far or 2. kinda funny that this is what its like at the moment. i know that sucking is never permanent, everything can be improved with time, and rarely does anyone ever magically get good at something first try. i think of myself as a talented artist, but its over the course of 2+ decades of drawing; im always improving, and no matter what im going to find things i want to get better at, so why fault myself now for not being perfect? a couple of months ago i really wanted to try woodcarving, so i made spoon with my dad. did it turn out great? not really! you cant even use it as a spoon! but im glad i tried it, it was fun, i had a great time with my dad, and now i know a little bit more going in next time. the idea that you have to be perfect or make tangible progress every single time you try something new is a recipe for burnout. i promise you, it doesnt matter if something doesn't come out like God's Gift to Humanity! Did you have fun? did you learn something? are you satisfied in some small part? good!
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(pictured: tha spoon)
last, im just really easy to please myself! I'll make a doodle or implement an idle animation in my game or color a piece and go "wow! thats so cool i did that :)" and it really is just a matter of realizing that its fucking COOL to create stuff, no matter how small! whatever you made didn't exist before you, especially in your own unique way, and now it does! doesn't that rule?! i'm obsessed with it! even if its just a stick figure, its a stick figure you made, and it wasn't there before. thats fucking awesome!!! art is so cool!!!! i think that being happy with small goals and victories is a great way of trying out new things and showing off cool stuff u made, no matter what skill level. :) this turned into a whole big thing, but i hope this helps! tl;dr is try things if they seem fun, be okay with not being good at them, and find stuff about it that makes you happy or satisfied!
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dr-spectre · 2 months ago
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I really like it when fan artists in the Splatoon community draw Hypno Callie as Callie but way more psychotic and fucked up.
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The way artists draw her with the swirly eyes, red backgrounds, unique posing, etc, it's so cool! Way better than drawing her as some cold brainwashed zombie that sucks the life out of Callie because God forbid that woman has a neutral expression.
It fits more in line with how Hypno Callie actually acts like in Splatoon 2. She ain't a mindless brainwashed drone and the Callie we know is gone as lots of people say oh no no no. She is a CRAZY WOMAN!!! Her dialogue is shockingly similar to her harsh dialogue found in Splatoon 1 Splatfests.
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Like... friendly reminder, hypnosis ≠ brainwashing/mind control. You cannot use the two terms interchangeably no matter how hard you try to argue. Hypnosis is a weird and unique state for a person to be in.
To me, Hypno Callie works best when Callie who has been under a lot of distress and suffering from her lonely busy life, runs off and decides to join the Octarians out of her own free will, and Octavio creates these hypnotic shades in order to basically keep Callie under control more as she is a wild card and could decide to run off at random. He doesn't outright brainwash her or mind control her, but he just gives her suggestions in a relaxed hypnotic state, and those suggestions just so happen line up with Callie's morals in her mentally unwell mind.
And Callie... she just needs help. She needs that reminder of the good memories she went through. All the times with Marie... when the shades get shot off of her, she still fights with Marie, she's still angry and full of this darkness inside her heart. But when she hears that heavenly melody... all of those positive memories finally rush back into her and she goes "wait... I remember! YEAH!!!" And then she finally reunites with her cousin and gets to have a fresh start with her...
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It makes Splatoon 3 more satisfying too as Callie and Marie are so happy together and look back at the past with respect and go "you know, if it wasn't for those events, maybe we wouldn't be the people we are today." That's some incredible stuff man.
And when fan artists properly show that and show Hypno Callie as the girl we know but in a crazed state that needs help, it's some powerful art...
I've seen so much art of Hypno Callie with octopus tentacles around her and her "brainwashing" Marie too and it's so fucking vile and uncomfortable and disgusting to me. Its so gross that people wanna treat Callie like that, you know? It's this weird... disturbing and... here we go....
.....sexual thing the community used to do back in 2017 to 2019. It was an awful time and the VERY SERIOUS AND DISTURBING implications that it brought up are just... WHY?!?!?! GOD WHY?!?! UGHHH!!! You want Callie to be kidnapped, get brainwashed forcefully, lose her memories AND THEN GET SEXUALLY... NO... IM NOT GONNA FINISH THAT! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK OFF!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!!!
Ugh...
...But I'm very glad that fan artists have moved past that weird and uncomfortable phase and are drawing this important arc for Callie in a more visually powerful way.
So yeah, good job Splatoon fan artists! You're doing DAMN great!!!! Now it's time for youtubers and timeline explainers to pick up the slack....
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