#im so fucking tired of doctors
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Mmm gotta love when my pcp basically says “it’s not all in your head” as if she believes some of my pain is. I love just breaking down at the doctors bc no one fucking takes anything I say seriously and I just sound like a broken fucking record saying the same thing over and over again. I’m in pain, I’m constantly exhausted and can’t wake up, I have debilitating dizzy spells that leave me unable to breathe, I have headaches every day of my life, I’m so fucking depressed, please help me, please help me.
#jtxt#jvent#im so fucking tired of doctors#im so fucking tired of my existence man#im just a fucking burden to everyone I know#I hate chronic illness
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I'm having a bad mood today
Would you draw my blorbo for me please?
#If you have time/energy/willing for that though. No pressure#Im sad and annoyed bc i couldn't get my blood tasted today#They only signed me up for an appointment in a month#And its already been so long since i try to figure out what is wrong with me bc my stomach doesn't work as it supposed to#I'm tired and hurt and all this is very discouraging#Mom tells me to go to the private lab to get my tests done faster but it costs money and we haven't been having much of those#She says that my health is more important and she's right but i just feel so bad and guilty for spending money on myself#When it is possible to get free medical treatment#But URGHHH the free one is sooo looong#And the problem is also that bc im an immigrant here i often don't understand how the system works here and i do mistakes#Like today I came to the hospital thinking i can get my blood tested right away with my doctors prescription in my hand#But no i only got it registered and got an appointment on 17 of December#Fucking urghhh#Im just tired and frustrated that's all#Anyway#Wanna draw buba for me? 👉👈🥺
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24hr no sleep milestone and running off of pure spite
#at hospital with friend#and the doctor here was god fucking awful#rude and inturrupting and insulting#and sent me right back to 2020#i hope all doctors who are cruel explode into a billion pieces#anyway my friend not doing great and im so tired and i gotta drive us both home wish us luck#sara shush
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spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.
#wrenfea.exe#apparently theres a thing called direct cost now#where the doctors spend like 2 hours with you and do all this testing and only take on a limited amount of patients#but they dont take insurance and are expensive#so you still need insurance for like. hospital stuff#but also have to pay out of pocket hundreds of dollars#if i had the money id do it since i already spend a ton of money on doctors that dont give a fuck about me#so might as well spend them on doctors that do#all the holistic care around me is scams for rich old ladies#my fibromyalgia symptoms are really holding me back#im so tired and achy and foggy and im so frustrated#i want to do things#i want to do my job well#but all the searching was fruitless#ive already seen a rheumatologist and she sucked#and none near me work with fibro patients#no neurologists do either#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#fibromyalgia#disability
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Updating my donation post as it's been a few months. I'm still struggling with being homeless and I recently lost my health insurance (yayy turning 26!)
I've applied for section 8 at a local large city but that can take time. I'm also in the months long process of applying for SNAP/medicaid. I've also applied for financial assistance through my work to help me as well but I'm unsure of the turn around time or how much they can assist me.
Currently with the cost of rent in my local area the best option might be for me to renovate a free mobile home. However I need to move it to a lot/mobile home park with hookups and that can cost alot of money. The current estimate I got is around $8,000.
This doesn't include the lot rent per month or the cost of fixing the mobile home. But I do get to own the trailer after and can sell it once I have my feet under me again and ready to move.
I've been looking into so many different options but I'm struggling with finding something in my budget. Current income restricted housing is at a 1 to 2 year wait list. Others require a $48 per person application before you get to even see the apartment (for a one bedroom no less)
I've already made so many sacrifices during this year including not perusing fighting to get my cat back. Unfortunately with the way I can't find housing there wasn't a hope I could find housing and have it allow pets.
I've anyone has suggestions for finding roomates (that's not Facebook) or housing please feel free to message me
I'm also doing donation doodles for any donation over $10, give me a suggestion or prompt when you donate otherwise you get a bug art lol
#star's art#artist on tumblr#my art#mutual fund#Homeless#fundraising#Donation doodles#Kofi#artist on kofi#Housing help#Currently homeless and disabled and I don't have insurance so Im missing my doctor appointment and running out of my ptsd medicine#I'm working two jobs right now as best as I can#But I'm so tired and I just want to finally have a home#I miss my craftroom#I miss having my own personal space#I miss my garden#My cat#Oh ginger I miss you so much#You don't know why I left and never came back#I'm sorry I can't get you#I'm sorry he won#I didn't even get to go to pride this year cause it was fucking sold out and I was hoping to connect with the booths that would help me#I'm so so tired#I've been struggling for so long now#Average rent here is $800 for a one bedroom and over a $1000 for anything else#I've been priced out of where I've been living for over 13 years#And it's not like I can just get random roommates im fucking transgender like that's literally dangerous#I'm disabled and transgender and homeless with ptsd and I'm so tired#Universal basic income when
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Raleigh's big baby eyes were not just big because of the dimly lit bathroom (I had a low light setting turned on), he appears to have some reduced pupillary response. He's otherwise totally normal and he CAN see, so I'm not overly worried he needs attention for it right now, but it is concerning, so I will be calling the vet to see if they can work him in sometime in the next few days. I took a look at some recent pictures and it seems to have been going on for maybe a week and I just didn't really notice because there's so little light in this house.
I'm tired. Everything is vet visits and doctor's appointments and managing my symptoms and bothering clinics and the pharmacy and new things going wrong everywhere, and I still need to call my GP to make a telehealth appointment so he can refer me for ANOTHER appointment, after which I can have a THIRD appointment with the GP to discuss test results and see what fresh new hell THAT unleashes.
I really wanted to go to the local orchard's summer festival but there's so much going on that week so close together that I'm not going to feel up to it. And it'll be too hot anyway. I can't tolerate heat or sun anymore, thanks COVID.
Ugh.
#im afraid about a thing i have going on that they randomly found during an unrelated cardio scan in January#i don't think it's bad-bad as the doctor said we could just wait and see if it's still there or whatever in six months#but like if it WANTED to be bad-bad this would be a shitty and therefore likely time to do it#and id have dealt with it by now but other clinics wouldn't fucking let me do telehealth and those appointments were for MEDS#so i can't just not have them when the only other time is three months from now#i hate the way our system works and i hate the gatekeeping and the pointless repetitive meaningless appointments#that could be 5 minute phone calls or even totally avoided if they just answered the actual question i asked#I'm so so tired and i want to go home
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The Catbinet of Dr. Kittymeowy :3
#i spent so much fucking time editing this lol#im. tired now#self post#the cabinet of dr caligari#heyWHAT FUCKING TAG AM I SUPPOSED TO USE#the cabinet of dr. caligari#the cabinet of doctor caligari#cabinet of dr caligari#cabinet of dr. caligari#cabinet of doctor caligari#dr. caligari#dr caligari#doctor caligari#caligari#many many tags aaaaaa#das cabinet des dr. caligari#das cabinet des dr caligari#das cabinet des doktor caligari
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Irrationally angry at normal people without chronic fatigue who can do impossible tasks such as “waking up” and “working a full time job without chemical assistance”
#I’ve been trying to find an answer to this for almost a year now and I just hate it so much it feels like I just get less time in the day#than everyone else. or I can be concious more at the cost of either feeling like I’m dying or using various Substances#ive spent a fucking fortune on doctors & i hate having to just turn down things bc im too tired#at some point people hate hearing it. esp without like a solid diagnosis other than CFS so I can’t like. point towards something#fuck my stupid Baka life#warlock wartalks
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So I got bored and decided to look into if Doctor Who had a large Asian audience and I ended up finding these Japanese book adaptations of some of the old stories and ngl they go hard as fuck.
#the first image is supposed to be terror of the autons im pretty sure and its so fucking cool#big juni ito vibes#also the little egg shaped daleks kind of rock#the auton one is defos my fav because come on the fucking composition and the body horror are so good#the blood red room with orange light pouring through the door. the hand scuttling on the ground#again big junji ito vibes. specifically tomie.#i want doctor who to take place in more countries and explore their takes on horror#there's a couple of episodes that do this but i wanna see more#sorry if im rambling im tired and finding doctor who content i didnt know about it siick#doctor who#art#not my art#random rambles
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Currently having a breakdancing session with myself<333
#im Turing 21 tomorrow#im gonna cry#I don’t want to spend time with my family#i don’t understand#they don’t even like me xjsjhjdhs#its sad that the moment I move away I’ll be low contact with all of them://#my life is going no where#I want to leave#but I’m disabled and not mentally stable enough dndjhdjxks#but they just think I’m lazy#like bro I have doctors appointments smsmjsks#I faint when I’m out in public#i hate my birthday#so much#im not in the closet but at this point I wish I was sjjsjdks#the only reason I’m still home and not kicked out is because my dad cared well he tires#my mother would have kicked me out#girlie gonna kicked me out for shaving my head#and getting a binder#both my parents are transphobic but they’re both different kinds of transphobe#dad is ignorant transphobia#mother fucking dislikes us teehee#she’d rather kick me out#can’t believe I let this women beat the shit out of me everyday for 13 years#whelp#im not ready to be 21#I wasn’t ready to be 20#I wasn’t ready to be 18#I suck at everything wtf dnmdnddm#man idk why I’m still kicking tbh
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does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow
#so to recap what we all know if we're following the Angela is Sickly series#i can't eat tree nuts. i can't eat trail mix that has come in contact with tree nuts. i am uneasy about eating anything that has been in a#facility with tree nuts because i have had allergic reactions just as severe from cross-contamination as i have had from straight up#eating walnuts. the one exception to this rule is pistachios because i have yet to have an issue with them#i don't eat pecans anymore because i had a reaction. almonds are on thin ice i don't really eat them#also. also i dislike nuts. it's not a hard rule but i don't like them at all. i am not a picky eater they just happen to be one of the#foods i dislike they're a bad texture and they taste like wood. except for the beautiful pistachio#and then we have the alpha gal allergy so. it's not Nearly as severe in terms of life-threatening anaphylaptic response but#the trade-off is a week-long world ending stomachache. which is extremely not fun and also could at any point randomly turn into#a more severe allergy so i. sort of don't fuck with it. there are exceptions that i regret every time because ouch. no red meat.#similarly. we respond not too great to dairy. can't have a lot. can't be fixed by lactaid pills or anything because it's not lactose#intolerance it's an allergy. so. no tree nuts except pistachios. no red meat. light dairy. i am twenty pounds underweight.#my doctor told me to keep red meat in my diet if i couldn't maintain my weight and uh. Bad News i can't maintain weight but also it's a#massive trigger so what the fuck do i do here. to be allergic to some of the most caloric and fatty foods out there#tried to start up boosts and i will continue doing so but im getting stomachaches from them too. like the fuck do u do#im eating eggs and avocado and olive oil and peanut butter etc and im still losing weight. i don't ever have an appetite#gets to a point where im like Well we might end up in a fucking hospital because i keep losing weight and idk why#tests aren't showing anything other than alpha gal and minor inflammation we don't have a reason for#tomorrow i will fucking have egg and avocado and olive oil and butter and a boost and an antispasmodic and water and#i will get a stomachache again and be tired again. Onward!#i would feel so much better if i could gain weight and i can't. what do. im so tired all the time <3 15.8bmi <3
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wow i love being psychotic <3 just had to listen to my friends talk about how they were immediately distrustful of a girl who was talking to herself and smiling about something. way to make me feel safe guys 🫡
#compulsory disclaimer SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A DICK TODAY. IM JUST SAD AND TIRED#chaos.txt#it SUCKS i hate psychosis i hate it so much more than any of my other problems#get it OUT.#and you just have to nod along and agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!#you guys are going to be doctors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to kill#i want to KILL!!!!!!!#i hate it. this one girl said she used chatgpt AND GIRL............... NO.......................................#what is happening . world going to shit
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I cant find it but someone made a post about how Wilson waltzes into episodes to soft dom House and they were 1000% right and I cant unsee it and it's driving me nuts
#im watching house md again. i stopped bc the overarching episodes stress me out#i just wanna watch the doctors solve the problems. also every guy on this show sucks. also camron makes me so uncomfy#but also wilson show up like. do this thing for me i kno u want to. its so interesting to u. and hes right#also house jokes about fucking him on multiple occasions. its ya kno. and house is like i will drive u away let me drive u away#but they love eachother. they love eachother and they're insane and fucked up#also when a love interest shows up they lose their fucking minds#did i mention this before? the soft dom thing? i feel like i did but im too tired to remember
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reached that point in my diet journey where i always wanna eat but the thought of it makes me feel disgusting and like a failure. so how are yall doing
#its not even that drastic of a diet and the doctor is actually very nice he doesnt pressure me or anything and im actually never hungry#but its just so. joyless. even eating bread now makes me feel guilty cause im only supposed to eat so much yknow#and its hot as fuck!!! i just wanna eat fruit and icecream til october!! but apparently thats not good for you. or whatever#anyway idk how to tag this#diet talk/#also im tired cause ive been on this diet since december i think??? i miss pork </3
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I got stuck in bed entirely because my pulse went haywire, but now I finally got a window of enough energy to get downstairs and grab whatever the machine is called that checks your blood pressure and pulse. And the thing that's so confusing is that technically the numbers would indicate that everything looks completely healthy and normal.
But I have naturally low blood pressure and yet I get those intense spikes where my pulse will go from like 70 ish to 100+ without warning and leaving me immobilized for however long it decides to race. And the only reason I could check now was because it calmed down enough for me to actually stand up and walk without fearing I might collapse, I have no idea if it was actually higher than what the machine is telling me now.
My pulse always caused me issues (especially during sports) growing up, but I never got wrecked to this level before. I feel a tiny bit better now but I can feel that it's not completely over yet, and I don't know when it will be. Laying in bed makes me feel fucked up in the head from despair but I have no other choice when it's the only thing that doesn't make me feel like I'll crumble and fall over.
I guess the upside is that the pain flares I had this morning is giving me a break now, and that the racing pulse helps me keep a bit warmer than usual so I won't need to turn the heater on lol. Nothing bad that doesn't bring something good I guess.
#friends and relatives with those conditions: yeah you should check for EDS POTS and fibromyalgia#doctors: theres no point looking into it and diagnosing it cause theres no cure anyway :-)#alternatively doctors: i know better than you and maybe of you werent trans youd be healthier#lmaooooooo#tired sad hopeless hours i just wanna play games to distract myself#alas i have yet to figure out a way to use even the switch or ds or ps in ways that dont kill my now fucked up hands#love watching all my hobbies and the sole last things ive been capable of thanks to overall disabilities#slowly and slowly become completely inaccessible to me#i cant get excited about things id otherwise care about cause whats the point if i wont be able to do it?#lmaoooo sorry im just so sjdkskskskdkdkdkskw#these things are wrecking both my body and brain even further#i used to feel useless so man what am i now?#urgh#silvi talks
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I WIL PUT AN AXE INTO YOUR FACE AND I WILL NAIL YOUR SKULL TO THE MAST OF MY VIKING LONGSHIP BEFORE I GIVE ANY ACTOR ANOTHER BUNCH OF NOTES ABOUT HOW TO PLAY DAVID TENNANT YOU FUCKING PATRONIZING MOLLUSK
#david tennant#doctor who#dr who#gallifreyan#gallifrey#BBC staged#Staged david tennant#im so fucking tired#hyacinthart
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