#im so fucking autistic
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i love worms !
YAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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How the fuck do I make new friends
#there are two people i like that I think i could be friends with#but idk how to interact#im so fucking autistic#rant#alex is sad#my post
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special interests are all fun and games until you split FIVE??? FIVE fictives from it
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words of affirmation
Say it again. I know it's stupid, but say it again.
My mind is a wave, erasing anything written in the sand. At dusk, the water takes all, and I must start over. You like me today, but you might not like me tomorrow, so say it again. Write it to me, in text, on paper; let the record show I was loved, once, if not ever again. Give me evidence I can study, letters I can cling to like a soldier in the trenches, for the war not once has ended, and I will never find peace. I need it in your handwriting, drenched in your cologne, tattooed on my skin, a permanent reminder, a receipt you can't return. I need you to sign on it, shake on it, pinky promise you won't ever change your mind.
I know it's stupid. But I love like a child, and my dad's a lawyer, and mom always adored me until she didn't anymore, so I'm gonna need a signature and a kiss every morning. You can trust me, I swear, and I shouldn't trust you, but I will anyway. Push me around; just touch me. Grab me by the throat; just tell me you love me. Take me by the scruff of the neck while I kick and I scream at God and just put me to bed. By morning, I'll be drowning, and the clock will have reset; you know what to do by now, right? Your coffee's ready by the way.
It's stupid, but I think "lack of emotional object permanence" is what I'll call it, so it sounds less like a joke and more like an incurable disease. Because, if it's so stupid, how am I bedridden so, choking on my own phlegm? If it's so stupid, why do my lungs hurt with every breath, why are my eyes wrung dry? Look at me; my fever-red face, my swollen lips. The tears turn my skin dewy, sweet with sadness. I love like a dog, with shaking pupils blown wide, so that someone might bring me home. I'm eager as they come and loyal as a knight. I love like a dog, like the runt of the litter, so someone, for the love of God, take me in, or put me out my misery.
I'll be good, I'll be so good, so I deserve to hear it. I'm a beggar, and you chose me, so say it, please. Just once.
#spilled ink#my writing#prose#psyche#does this even count as writing#who am i kidding#vent#i miss my therapist#im so fucking autistic#girls love dog metaphors for loyalty and love
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found an old keyboard nobody uses anymore.. y'all know what that means...
#STIM TIME#i love typing#stimblr#stimming#> osha talks#autism#im so fucking autistic#it's not funny anymore#going insane#over clicky#click click#words
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PEOPLE HERE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT THE THICKETY BY J A WHITE??!?! IM FINALLY HOMEEE this will now be a thickety lore/fic blog, thickety deniers dni
#the thickety#j a white#YA fiction#fantasy#kara westfall#taff westfall#grace stone#im so fucking autistic
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Hello everyone I'm here to show I'm mentally unwell and deranged because I made a playlist dedicated to SocialStuck Amino because my autistic ass can NOT be normal about anything
@andellaheartz
I'm probably gonna keep working on it and change a few songs but like tagging you because you did this to me (and they are the creator of Socialstuck Amino please look at it it's so cool) so I'm coming to your house to eat all your food and leaving rice cakes instead /hj
I'm so normal about this character
#Spotify#socialstuck#amino app#❌™️xdtalks#god help me#im so fucking autistic#hyperfixated on the stupidest shit
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I WAS FUCKING RIGHT
people who disagree or made me embarassed to have had headcanons about this are LOSERS
as i said as soon as i saw this on twitter:
''I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW ITTT I K N E W IT I FUCKING WON!!! I MAY SUCK AT FNAF THEORIES BUT I FUCKING WON AT THIS ONE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO god anyways i love kellen he was an inspo before the dca existed- this guy is such a goat!! autism icon!!''
@basyacriptid i'm fucking losing my shit sorry if u already saw this
#dca#fav#moondrop#sundrop#fnaf#security breach#ok this might not be CANON but it FUCKING IS TO ME#IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF for making that video such a long ass time ago about moon being autistic#a person even came to me and refered to me as the ''person who did the autistic moon thing''
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Me: how do I study as a neurodivergent person?
Google: how to help your autistic child study
Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen
Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children
Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult
Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)
Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed
Google: high functioning autism and school
Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person
Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth
Executive dysfunction:
My fucking deadline:
#adhd#actually autistic#im so fucking sick#of the tips for people taking care of people with autism when im sesrching SPECIFICALLY on how to manage my own autism#im so sick of getting infantalized#im so sick of getting alienated from the fact that im human#im so fucking sick of autistic adults getting forgotten#im tired of searching for how to help myself and getting tips for people who dont struggle with what i do#im sick of getting callef high functioning#im sick of getting told when i look for study tips to rely on other people to help me#rant post
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silly stuff i drew while reading Feel No Evil by @payasita , in which the Lamb does not know how to propose, Narinder does not know how to be alive, and neither of them knows what an obligate carnivore is
bonus? lmao
#my art#cotl#i am looking into your soul with my huge autistic eyes. read this fic right now. blease#hksfdjghdfghldkfg im sorry it just fucking kills me that for the first 4ish chapters narinder is just. so nasty#like all the followers are like There He Is. The Leader's Favorite Guy. and its this filthy half-dead cat that hasnt bathed in 10+ years#like he has hardly eaten the entire time he's been mortal and he looks like absolute dogshit#and their unbeatable normally serene and gracious leadergod is hovering around his stinky ass like omg nari hiiiiii#its fucking hilarious to me. and also heartwrenching bc this fic does also get into how hard it is to be alive when uve never learned how#gonna draw the twins desperately bringing him soap later i just had so many things i wanted to draw for this
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic#even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space#so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now#like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her#or a blind bag with a character keychain#and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad#starts to diminish#my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it#or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces#i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables#my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons#like i dont get it but i get it#maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort#sara shush#ramble
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despite his initial rough impression, lqg gets a "fun" rating on the gege scale
#arts#mottau#dragging lqg into the autism to autism communication array#sy thinks he is so cool actually. but he will fiercely deny it if you say so#lmao stupid little baby crush#he has! a cool sword! and hes fought so many monsters! and hes called the Bai Zhan WAR GOD#and also is more lax than his other geges in letting him do stuff that toes the line of things he shouldnt be allowed to do yet#such as you know imitating sword forms when he's not supposed to touch cultivation or combat for another year#in lqg's mind theres no reason he cant practice the forms. and also he doesnt even have a practice sword let alone a real one#he will get yelled at later#can you tell that i read dun meshi and it irreversibly changed the way i draw silly little autistic smiles. bc i sure fucking can#anyways releasing this from containment since im almost done the next chapter. incentive (for myself)
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hazel's just here to have a good time
#SHE'S AUTISTIC! SHE'S LOVELY!#THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!#SHE MAKES ACTUAL BOMBS AND TAKES THINGS AT FACE VALUE!#this is ridculous why does she have so many BANGER lines#my god i love her so much#bottoms movie#bottoms 2023#hazel callahan#pj#josie#ruby cruz#lover!#rachel sennott#ayo edebiri#my coloring#gif#*mine#femalegifsource#userlgbtq#im sorry i keep gif-ing(?) the same fucking scene#hazel's intro is just so fucking amazing
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Ghost Trick Enamel Pins back in stock, they will be limited this time too! They are made with lots of love to feed the hungry ghost trick fans. I hope you like them!!
#Ghost Trick#GUYSSSS#I love them I love them I love them I love ghost trick so much fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FCUK I hope these ignite a fraction of the love in#you that they've ignited in me. my autistic little ass is just so happy to have these#They'll probs be very limited#like 200 if they all sell out#so as not to step on capcoms toes#i have 100 rn and may order a 2nd batch if they do sell#also the website linked is my new shop!!!#DO YOU LIKE IT I spent ages working on it#I want it to look professional but not too professional#im just a little guy yknow
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the way house md shows people going thru shit like loss of a loved one, grief, betrayal, cheating etc and doesn't say "this one is right" or "this one is wrong" is so important to me. they're just exploring humans. they're exploring humanity with it's ugliness and beauty and it's leaving it upto the viewer to decide what to feel about situations and that's just endearing, in a way. the show is just Human : ' )
#kayramblies#house md#i love this fucking show im so fucking autistic#maybe its just me#idk you guys ;;
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"i have no spoons for sympathy for the palestinian cause" is so like... shockingly evil and bleak im truly not over it. it like perfectly encapsulates how zionists - specifically young 'progressive' zionists dress up how they talk about palestine in this extremely neutered way.
israeli settlers are just every day civillians completely divided away from the relation of colonialism they actively perpetuate, and palestinian resistance of any kind is practically coming out of nowhere and is Different and uniquely Violent. it doesnt matter that this is barely a fraction of what israel has perpetuated against palestine daily since its inception as a state
and to dress it all up in this language that transforms it from a coloniser refusing to show any sympathy for the people they benefit from colonising into just some poor victim minority is diabolical. the zionist victim complex is insane
#sorry im yapping again the the cloister of 'progressive' zionists on tumblr posting abt this shit made me so mad#like the sheer fucking audacity bro#for the record im also autistic and get burnout and i dont think they even tried doing it maliciously but like. idgaf. fuck em#my post
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