#im so bad at the gaming part of video games if I’m being so honest

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Really am having a category 9 hyper fixation week

[skzdarlings]

hi darling!! i had to come here to tell you how much i enjoy the fifteenth heir story so far. i’ve read it twice already and definitely won’t be the last! the vibes are sooo deliciously eerie🧡

i saw a commenter pondering what happened to her father, and they mentioned if he could be a wendigo. that unlocked a part of my brain i forgot about, as i loved watching game playthroughs many years ago of a video game called until dawn which depicted wendigos. i started rewatching the playthroughs this weekend for some good ol’ nostalgia, and did a little googling, and learned that wendigos are usually depicted as stag like creatures with long arms, and can be spirits that possess people into becoming cannibalistic creatures/wendigos. so based on that, all the dots connected, the creatures in your story appear to be wendigos, or at least very inspired by them! i absolutely love it. wendigos are a special kind of horrifying, and fit so well as part of a faerie-verse, especially in regards to a cannibalistic faerie who eventually eats his 14 older brothers :) and i actually reread same but different not long ago and initially didn’t remember it being scary, but upon rereading it and the details about the bone-leaf creatures and the faeries without their glamour, oh i can totally see now how the universe can easily become horrifying, so i love even more that you went a more horror-forward route to depict faerie jeongin’s story. it just fits so well. i’m obsessed. i’m not always super into scary or disturbing stories, so when i say i love something like that, i really mean it!!! ugh and don’t get me started on our fox-wolf dimply faerie prince trying to save us. and giving us sweet treats. what a man💖

so yeah, just wanted to gush and say i’m so excited to see how the story unfolds and everything you have in store for this equally magical and horrifying faerie-verse✨🫶🧡🍁

omg tumblr is not alerting me to new messages hello 😭 anyway HI!!! 😊🧡🧡🧡 thank you so much for both your reblog and this message oh gosh I always look forward to your comments, thank you so much!!!

i have to be totally honest, there’s lots of fun faerie stuff coming up in the story but i don’t know anything about wendigos and any similarities are purely and totally coincidental omg that’s interesting they accidentally hit the mark though haha!

but yes either way this is definitely a more horror-centric/dark fantasy approach to the faerie world. I love the potential darkness lurking under all the glamours and this story really gets into it w some nasty bad guys but a very good ending 🤭 im so excited to post more and i hope you will enjoy what’s to come!

thank you again so so much 🧡

[antisyscourse]

Im a system host and something bad happened in my system and I need to vent for a bit if that’s okay.

Please tell me other systems have crazy things happen in their inner worlds like headmates having powers I feel insane right now.

So headmate A is a headmate who was very important to me discovering my plurality, he’s been very adamant that I’m a system ever since he showed up. Meanwhile headmate B is a headmate who’s main goal seems to be to fakeclaim me, voice my doubts about being a system, and point out anything he sees as evidence of this not being real or imaginary. Needless to say A and B don’t like each other.

I’ve been trying to bond with B and get him to come around, at one point I enlisted A’s help and we forced B to hang out via inner world powers A had. After this I realized using force was a horrible idea and apologized to B. Since then I’ve played video games with B a few times and I think that he could slowly come around some day, but A hasn’t really gotten the idea of using force out of his head.

This culminated in A snapping at B and using the inner world powers to take B hostage (I’m not joking) until B promised to stop fake claiming us. This sent me and many others in the system panicking as A was hurting B pretty badly. Luckily the situation didn’t last long (it happened late at night while I was trying to get to sleep and was resolved the next day) some other headmates used weird inner world powers to fight A and won so B is safe now.

So headmate A is a fictive of an evil character who’s done some very bad things in his source. That being said he seemed to become a much kinder person within the system and I genuinely trusted him and saw him as a friend. One thing he’s been struggling with is feeling inferior to his source now that he’s became nicer, I’ve tried my best to comfort him but I don’t think I said the right things. A isn’t really being honest about why he did it but I’m sure that was part of it. I feel like I should’ve seen the signs as A was making threats before this that I kind of just brushed off as non serious and I feel like I should’ve been able to help A before he got to this point of lashing out due to insecurity. I feel like a bad host, I know it’s not my fault but I just wanted everyone to get along and I failed and now one of my closest friends within the system did something very bad.

And what makes it worse is that this attempt to get the fake claiming to shut up has only made me doubt myself more. I feel like this kind of stuff shouldn’t be possible within a headspace or inner world or that headmates aren’t supposed to have powers inside the inner world even though I’ve heard about inner world stuff like this before. So now I just feel crazy even though I’m sure I wouldn’t get this worked up about it if it was imaginary. I just don’t know what to do.

oh goodness grief, i'm so terribly sorry that happened anon. D: i will say that you are not alone in this!! we have alters with things like powers as well, we have introjects of gods and such, so it's not just you, and you're not fake for experiencing that!! i do hope that all is well within your system soon!! i pinkie promise you're not a bad host!! please take care lovely!!

[ID: STOP! this is a syscourse free blog! it is a safe space for all systems, so please go away if you intend upon stirring up drama!]

[danstupidaushit]

Failed Promise

Well, this one isn't exactly an AU, but i feel like i should put him here judging i have quite a lot of info to go around on him

So, Failed Promise eh, my "failed" attempt at making a good sans creepypasta. A lot of the stuff im gonna explain here is actually from a cancelled series i was intending on making along with Low_Tus, so if a lot of info here is kinda new for you, then my bad, but i had huge plans for him that went down the drain pretty quickly.

So, the idea for Failed Promise was that he is an Undertale made in a different universe, to which it's version of Toby Fox, which we will be calling just Fox, created undertale normally, but instead of making the japanese version by himself, he actually sent the game to an specific japanese team to make the japanese version of the game for him, which leads to such version of the game that was made without his total supervision to end up being also "regionalized", which is actually an excuse for the team he had hired to fill the game in with creepy shit that wasn't in any way approved by him

Failed promise is one of the results of that separate japanese team changing the game for the japanese version of Undertale I'm not entirely sure what his point in the game would be? But apparently his new concept was that he was not exactly a sentient AI like the old version suggested him to, but he's in fact an altered version of Sans that has the whole "judge" thing exaggerated to the point he becomes a living threat to Frisk if the genocide route is done, with the game even having a bit of a spyware along with the launcher in order to retrieve information from the user's computer and use it to frighten the player even further, such as getting their actual name. etc. etc.

With that being said, i have to point out that Failed Promise is not actually the name of his creepypasta, but the real project was called Undertale: Enhanced. That is because Failed Promise was actually gonna be the main "antagonist" for the genocide route of the creepypasta, as Low_Tus asriel creepypasta character named Friend was also gonna be part of Undertale Enhanced as the antagonist of the pacifist route. The entirety of Undertale Enhanced was gonna be a VHS like set of videos accompanied by an ARG that me and Low_Tus were gonna make, but we ended up giving up on the project after i lost interest on continuing to work on Failed Promise due to not finding a way to make him with the exact type of disturbingness that i wished he could have. The creepypasta would have a very... japanese like type of horror for it, having a style quite similar to some of the videos VibingLeaf makes nowdays, focusing a lot more on feeling like a game that was made to be a creepy obscure game rather than your common "game with a soul stuck on it" or "game with a creature living inside of it".

Do i have anything more to say? I'm not entirely to be honest, i lost a lot of information on the project as a whole lol If you want to know some more info of the project via another's mouth, you could perhaps go out and ask Low_Tus for it, judging he was also producing the project with me and had put on just the same amount of effort that i was trying to put on it.

So uh yeah Failed Promise was gonna be VERY different to what you guys had seen previously posted on my pages. But oh well, one more cool project down the drain.

[vacate-et-scire]

Hello!! I'm pretty new to tumblr so i'm not sure if i am doing this correctly but i've been seeing your match up event going around and i enjoy them so much and i would love to be part of it!!! I apologize if i did anything incorrectly

Details about myself -

pronouns: any/all (i am genderfluid)

sexuality: pansexual

zodiac stuff: Taurus sun, Scorpio moon, aries rising (i'm not really sure about the rest)

mbti: Injf

enneagram: 9w1

physical appearance: 5'2 medium length hair (normally a dark brown but i usually diy it rn it's a dark blue) heart face shape, almond eyes, tan skin, normally my style is pretty casual i don’t really have a set style since it really all depends on my mood.

More about my personality or just how i am:

I am a pretty shy person and tend to keep a lot to myself however i am very opinionated and when i get in the moment can be quite passionate when speaking about things i care about. I also have a pretty competitive side that i don’t normally show since as my friends like to say i am “nonchalant” but trust when it’s time i really show up, i kind of like being alone or in small crowds but i love concerts thats like the one environment i can be in that’s crowded, im a bit lazy ill admit and prefer a more calm setting. I have a pretty bad avoidance attachment style especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I’m a very independent person and tend to do most things by myself, I can be quite clueless and easily distracted, i prefer listening to people rather than talking, i would say i’m a very caring person almost too caring, i can be either very clingy or extremely distant it really depends on my mood, Normally an anxious person and quite paranoid, easily embarrassed but that only because i hate drawing attention to myself at least, personally i think im the funniest person ever but that might only be me, i tend to be sarcastic sometimes especially when i have a mood, I’d also say im the type of person that tries their best to understand the people around them.

likes:

Music obviously (i listen to really anything but Nct, The army The navy, and natalia lafourcade to name a few), Video games especially the story based ones (ESPECIALLY THE ONES WITH PATHS LIKE DETROIT BECOME HUMAN),romance anime’s (fruits basket is my favorite), Animals I LOVE ANIMALS, hanging out with my best friend (she’s like one of the only people who understands me so she gets a pass fr), littlest pet shops i love collecting them so much, cooking (the satisfaction of eating it after is so worth it), sleeping, people who actually want to get to know me (always shocking), the beach YES AND HIKING.

dislikes: TEXTING (only because i can never pick up the persons tone and im so bad at it and i overthink), also calling … unless its with someone who i like, liars (like just be honest bro), judgmental or people who are rude for absolutely no reason, loud sounds, being misunderstood (like i feel like 2020 oikawa), PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE (like if they are telling a story or in an argument and just don’t want to hear their side)

love language: Acts of service and quality time maybe even words of affirmation?

my type: Some who is able to understand who i am and wants to understand who i am, someone who will be patient with me and listen to what i have to say or how i feel, Someone who will stay with me in my worst and best moments, a person who will celebrate my achievements with me and supports me, A loyal person who is able to reassure me, Some one who doesn’t mind space and having a life of their own (yes i would love being together with my partner but we are our own people and it’s always great to keep that passion in what we love separately alive), Some one who can own up to their mistakes and take accountability, Understands boundaries, Able to show affection normally i prefer it in private but as long as they don’t do too much in public it’s alright, Some one who will help me as much as i will help them i prefer the relationship to be equal (of course i wouldn’t argue if they wanted to do more just know i will also do more), likes the person i am, someone funny also because i need to laugh, i tend to swallow alot and keep things to myself so someone who is able to check up on me and notice the small things. That’s all i can really think of rn.

Well i think that should be all i hope i did it correctly and it wasn’t too long. (im pretty sure the event should still be open but if it isn’t don’t worry about it!!)

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Yoichi Isagi

Isagi is the perfect balance for someone like you. He’s kind, understanding, and deeply loyal—the kind of partner who would take the time to truly know you inside and out. His grounded yet ambitious nature makes him the perfect fit for your complex and multifaceted personality. He’s patient, but he’s also driven, which means he’d be your biggest cheerleader when you need it most.

Your shy yet opinionated nature pairs well with Isagi’s easygoing personality. He’s naturally empathetic and would respect your independence while also being attuned to the moments when you need extra reassurance. Isagi is someone who thrives on connection and would make you feel safe enough to open up, even with your avoidant tendencies.

He’d be endlessly curious about the things that make you you. Whether it’s your competitive streak that comes out of nowhere, your love for music, or your collection of Littlest Pet Shops, Isagi would adore the quirks that make you unique. He’d even humor your sarcasm and match it with his playful side, keeping your dynamic lighthearted but meaningful.

Isagi is a listener at heart, and he’d cherish the quiet moments when you let him into your thoughts. He’d never rush you to talk but would always be ready to hear you out when you’re ready to share. He’d also have a knack for picking up on the little things—whether you’re feeling distant or clingy, he’d adapt and make sure you feel supported without overwhelming you.

Your shared love for quality time and acts of service would create a natural harmony in your relationship. Isagi’s not the flashiest with grand romantic gestures, but his steady and consistent effort would make you feel cherished every single day. He’d be the type to make you tea when you’re stressed, walk with you on the beach just to clear your head, or cook with you just to enjoy the satisfaction of eating together.

The biggest hurdle might be Isagi’s occasional tendency to get overly focused on his goals. While he’s not selfish, his determination can sometimes make him a little unaware of others’ feelings in the moment. However, with your open-mindedness and his willingness to listen and improve, any misunderstandings would be short-lived. He’d value your input and actively work to meet your needs, proving time and again that he’s in it for the long haul.

Isagi’s patience and loyalty would be a balm for your anxious tendencies. He’s the kind of partner who would celebrate your achievements as if they were his own, always making sure you feel seen and appreciated. His kindness and humor would draw you out of your shell, while his steady presence would help ground you during your more emotional moments.

With Isagi, you’d have a partner who loves you not just for who you are but for the person you’re becoming. He’d support your growth, give you the space you need, and show you every day that he’s just as invested in the relationship as you are.

Isagi wouldn’t just love you—he’d understand you. And that’s exactly what you need.

[vbee-miya]

hiii vi <3 may i please request a written matchup for haikyuu and tokyo revengers please <3

i’m 20, she/her, male leaning pref!

personality:

- really kind (when i'm not driving)

- considerate of others

- creative

-generally really smart

- goofy (in a good way)

- extremely honest

- moody

- bad at saving money

- hard on myself

- impulsive

-jealous

-stubborn

likes: cold weather, early mornings, purple monster energy, the colors brown, black, and sage green, eyeliner, fuzzy socks, piercings, playboy stuff, baggy jeans, my playstation, black nail polish, matcha tea, coffee, horror, pancakes, fnaf, eren jaeger

dislikes: sounds of chewing, being hot, old people, crowded places, strict schedules, dishonesty, loud noises

interests: video games, listening to music, skating, shopping, drawing, painting, reading writing

facts about me!:

- im 5’7

-i'm a biology major

- i'm a sophomore in college

-i'm a sagittarius sun, taurus moon, virgo rising

-i'm an enfp

-my enneagram is 7w6

and this is me <3 (which you know we’ve been moots for like, ever, now)

thank youuuu ❤️

༺❀༻ matchup ༺❀༻

anything for you, you sexy ass mf 😩

uh it’s pretty obvious enough, babes no matter how many times you request a haikyuu match up suna and you will always, and i mean always will be paired up together. also being a taurus moon is so sexy of us 😩

just like your hair dying obsession with whatever color you dye it, suna will always look good with you 🤭

fact he’d let you wear his jeans like literally will not care if you take his shit. one he’d think it all looks so sexy on you. especially his jeans like sure he’s a sucker for when you wear his hoodies and t-shirts but like wearing his jeans or sometimes boxers it just hits him so right, and he’ll want your warmth in bed all over again.

fact he’d let you wear his jeans like literally will not care if you take his shit. one he’d think it all looks so sexy on you. especially his jeans like sure he’s a sucker for when you wear his hoodies and t-shirts but like wearing his jeans or sometimes boxers it just hits him so right, and he’ll want your warmth in bed all over again.

suna fuking sucks at saving money so good luck to y’all, but it’s not that he haphazardly spends them, it’s more so the fact that he’ll generously give you money when you ask for it. he’s no billionaire, but at long as there’s no negatives in his checking account and there’s enough money for him to pay gas prices and buy jelly snacks then by all means he honestly wouldn’t care spending if not loaning you money. best part is you wouldn’t even need to pay him back, he’d just forget about it and probably just take a few couple of hundreds from his savings if need to.

if you wanted to paint his nails black and put eyeliner on him, he’d let you and cause he’s got a little sister, headcanon in exchange for that he’d do your hair. so that he can also give you neck kissys.

when y’all decide to go skating especially midsummer night skating, he’s a chill guy but listen if there’s random old people in the way he’d just swerve pass them and like curse them out under his breath.

cause media is ruing our lives suna would definitely active on any media platform, and fact would only post his BeReals at night time.

[ginnsbaker]

Wow this chapter was such a rollercoaster

First the video reader deleting it instead of using it against vision i was very interested to see which route you went with this cos on one hand vision should be punished for violating someone’s privacy that way but at the same time reader just doesn’t want to see it. I also wonder what readers paycheck looks like cos 800k is insane.

One of my favourite parts of the book wandas therapy. “Wandas resilience is a force to be reckoned with” damn right it is. Im glad calliope told her she’s a victim because what happened wasn’t okay and her feelings are valid because they absolutely are. This therapy session seemed one of the harder ones for wanda and i quite like it because it shows how recovery isn’t a straight line.

with the running club reader’s jealousy was not very discreet i mean the whole game thing as well trying to show her up then injuring yourself in the process💀(is it bad i kinda thought Valkyrie had something to do with reader not being picked to run in the marathon) and then Valkyrie pushing wanda to drink pissed me off i was screaming for reader to step in but oh my god they fumbled it. They didn’t have to say it like that man. Wanda’s struggles are personal she didn’t have to air it out to everyone its not fair to her when shes been putting in the effort to get help. Then what was said outside. I could’ve slapped y/n.

Sparky had me so scared i hate in booke and shows and movies when anything happens to a dog its so sad.

Now the juicy part

“It becomes perfectly clear to you that you love her and you never stopped. Not even then.” THANK YOU SHERLOCK YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO REALISE THIS. And then the kiss. Wow. I kinda expected it but im still shocked by it cos reader cheated. And poor wanda. “A hint of worry appears in wanda’s deep emerald eyes” she tried to stop it from happening and then the “this isn’t right” “you’re better than me” that just broke my heart. She can’t forgive herself (yet - i really hope she does one day). It just shows her growth because at the start she probably would’ve ran with it but now she’s put a stop to it even though it was probably so hard for her because shes still in love. Im worried yelena or nat are gonna label wanda a home wrecker even though she didn’t actually do anything in this case like i hope she doesn’t get treated poorly for reader’s decision.

Then yelena finding out. Reader was honest and told her immediately. And yelena reacted about as well as I expected her to. But and i hope I don’t sound like a bad person for this but i really agree with that other anon when they said what did she expect. I know that doesn’t excuse reader’s actions and im not trying to or invalidate yelenas feelings because her reaction is very natural. Im trying to say she jumped into this relationship with someone who was very emotionally unavailable. Someone who had a tragic end to a 10 year relationship and who didn’t have therapy to process that end. I think yelena was so obsessed with being with reader because of their past that it clouded her judgement to an extent (i say to an extent because she was cautious of wanda the whole time so she wasn’t completely blinded)

This brings me to the final thing something I could’ve addressed earlier but got way more complicated after the kiss. Natasha. Shes gonna kill y/n. Or wanda. Or both? Reader calling her earlier was sad because friendship breakups hurt so bad. At that point there was hope for fixing their friendship but i’m not so sure now because of that kiss. It sucks for reader it really does losing your best friend is one of the worst pains you can feel. I don’t feel reader’s completely at fault, for the cheating yes but I don’t think they should’ve been in that relationship to begin with. Yelena pursued them knowing what she was getting into and idk i kinda hope nat considers that part of it before she decides to cut reader out her life or something. Which is hard because yelena is her sister but she seems to forget reade is also her best friend ik its different for some people to some family is the most important to some its friends to some its both so its complicated.

Sometimes two souls are so intertwined that no matter the circumstances they just gravitate towards each other and there’s nothing any external forces (in this case yelena) can do about it. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Im eagerly awaiting chapter 17 i have been since you said reader would find out and oh my god seeing how this one went I absolutely can’t wait

-🧃

Hey there!

The 800k will partly be covered by R's insurance. I looked into it and basically they have insurance for that? like, it doesn't exist in my country so i went with that. probably R will be charged a participation fee though, im not sure

For the marathon lottery, it really is a lottery when you join any of the world major marathon events (london, new york, tokyo, berlin, chicago and boston) with only boston that is purely by qualification time to join. so val had nothing to do with reader not being picked in the lottery.

This is the same scene where I initially intended the dog to die, but I couldn't bring myself to. Sparky will be fine, no more scares from this point onward

Yelena - yes, i agree with you even though i feel bad about it. i keep saying this but ive literally been in yelena's shoes, our difference is just i decided not to pursue the person. a year later, i learned that this person cheated on the girl she dated after me. so i dodged a bullet on that one. i always had a feeling that i was just second choice.

Wanda is so strong in this chapter but she's not going to magically turn into someone with the most self control in this story, but it's not going to be bad either..

Natasha is a bit indifferent to Wanda because she knows reader had the choice to stay away if she really wanted to. but anyway, i can't say much without spoiling some details

Whew that was long! but thank you so much for taking the time to give me your observations. I treasure each of them!

[hazelcephalopod]

Alright it’s insomnia posting time. I am now half way through Preacher aka the end of season 2 -so however far along you consider that to be. Here’s my thoughts as much as I can coherently relay as of now (I will be using video game metaphors)-

Season one truly does feel like what was meant to be a short tutorial level but developers quickly realized once it hit play testers they had included too much and no one wanted to leave. Therefore they had to force you to leave by blowing up the entire town and 99% of the characters you had grown to care about.

I too would have fallen in love with Tulip bc a) Ruth Negga; b) she’s just the coolest most badass messy women ever.

Jesse is not a good preacher and it is so fucking funny. He’s not terrible, he tries, but he’s just not.

Im gonna stay mad at the insane messy throuple vibes forever. (Do they have the communication skills? Would it be good? Probably not and also maybe that’s one of the reasons it’s so interesting.)

those Angels were fucking right Genesis is not good for a person to have in them. Like it’s clear from the beginning and only gets clearer as time goes on.

All I have to say about Eugene is this poor boy deserves none of this.

this show loves side quests.. Killer of Saints did go somewhere. But. Where it the hell side plot going? (More under the cut)

I think that firmly brings us to season two. Aka. The story kicks off. aka “Jesse having just learned god is missing decides he will find him because that is what the power is for.” (Despite being told it is in fact just the offspring of a demon and Angel that, got out of its prison? Nursery? Sanctuary?)

The second season is basically the main quest needs to be explored but mainly in fetch quests. Meanwhile the player needs most of the parts involving Tulip and Cass so they get the “bad (midpoint) ending”. It’s also apparently an “I’m going to join the evil group despite all evidence that I should not” play through. (I’m ok with this actually it’s just I find putting it that way funny)

Aka. All of these people are very traumatized and secretive. Problems ensue.

On the one hand I get that Cass is probably written as having like attachment issues and stuff. On the other I am reading it fully as he just fell in love with these weirdos and assumes that’s probably not on the table at all but will take whatever he can get.

Tulip deserves far better imho. Just in every aspect of life and storyline.

Jesse clearly suffering from trauma with some symptoms of mania triggered by the immense and inhuman power thrust upon him. Also the severe guilt being reignited by just about the most severe crises of faith. (I’m gonna be real honest I have some half formed thoughts on his trauma, depression, and quite possibly mania)

We all knew Dennis was not going to go well I think and it somehow did go worse. That was not just tragedy but utterly brutal as well in a way that surprised me. Truly believe Cass is probably holding back most of the time -in fact I’m pretty sure it’s firmly implied in the text. So hopefully that goes somewhere.

Jesse the grandson of the swamp witch who does black magic and maybe… voodoo? (I’m sorry that woman looks way to white for that but I admit I’m not well versed in that particular tradition so I will not say more; the show seems to be more focusing in her just being a witch?) (great cutscenes tho)

After they get to new Orlesns the show really becomes “Jesse finds a new cult led by a fascist asshole and uh. Everyone else has fucked up misadventures which Jesse doesn’t appear to even notice most of unless it directly applies to him.” (Aka we are off the group main quest here’s a bunch of individual side quests, decisions matter despite appearing completely unrelated. Will you talk to each other? Btw they do not)

I would be surprised if Jesse remembered who Dennis was by the end tbh. He was not paying attention to anything after they got rid of the Saint of Killers imho with his partners. At the very least I believe it was the last thing he was thinking about.

I am saying partners -yes I am shipper scum get over it- Bc they basically are presented as such by the end of this season. The vibes very much are “bordering on divorce” by the end of the season. Tulip and Cass break up with Jesse, in a diner for joining a weird cult and not paying enough attention to them and being extremely selfish. They are correct imho.

Again Tulip deserves better than this. (Spoiler- I know she gets better. Still. Also I’d have loved to see whoever Jesse actually explained -or perhaps didn’t- his plan to Cass)

they are getting so so divorced broken up and tbh. fair.

“I hate you” delivered in the most… truly trying to just hate him and not being able to way imho.

time for under the cut stuff

So the big points here are- does Preacher deal with fascists and specifically Nazis well? Tbh, I’m not sure it does but I’ve seen much worse.

First we have Herr Starr who is at minimum an authoritarian and I would go as far to say fascist. I’d go as far to say the Grail is heavily fascist leaning. Most of the Grail is just embarrassingly incompetent. Whereas Herr Starr despite the “funny problems” -tbh I was not really amused personally by “lol one of the idiot agents though he wanted a gay gang bang”. Its 2017 why? Who was like “yea let’s do that”. (I have several guesses) Anyway to put it very simply I think he’s just a bit… too cool? Now I admit his main character traits seem to be a deeply selfish desire for power for himself perhaps? I still think he’s a fascist but maybe other have a different read and I’m willing to hear it I guess?

Hitler. Why is he here? Is this necessary? On the other hand it’s a bold move and I could see them doing some subversive and cathartic stuff with him but I admit my own bias of having a strong disgust factor over… just the character. However he sucks, and everyone else except the nicest naivest person in hell agrees, which makes it tolerable.

[animalistic0]

Okay…okay! I have so much to say and I need to get everything that I am feeling and thinking out because OMG

Pregnancy reveal/post by Sarah and John B?!? OMG YESSSSS. Also Pope in the comments being like; “this is why he keeps canceling boys night.” I can’t with them. I love them all, love all the little details and all the little dynamics.

POPE FINALLY GETTING ON COOKING WITH CLEO🥳🗣️🥳🗣️ yesssss it’s happening. I was with my mans waiting for this. Also FOUR YEARS?!? Cleo wrong for that lmao and then dedicating it to the reader. I love our wife fr. She’s the best. Another detail I love is how close we are to Cleo and Pope. Love our besties, love our husband and wife💙🩵🫶 Also John B and Cleo in the comments, fucking dead. Him not knowing the difference between a salt and pepper shaker. Brother what? Cleo please never but please do bring him in the kitchen 😂 a beautiful disaster, waiting to happen.

Readers post about seasonal depression…too real 😂 and all her little comments right after I can’t. Had me laughing harder and harder because it was so relatable. Then JJ coming to save the day….STAWP😍

The instagram post. Calling JJ our knight in shining armor 😩 him flirting in the comments with us. Also RAFE liking the post?!? I saw that. I saw that shit. I don’t know who to like more or who I’m rooting for. At this point neither, I can’t choose. I WANT BOTH. “Both. Both is good.”

Readers tweets about the Cooking with Cleo video is FANTASTIC. Let’s be honest though, all three of us know we ALREADY married. Lmao. We all together, legit love the friendship with Pope and Cleo so much I can’t get enough and can’t express it enough. Pope saying fake news when we say he loves us, that man just can’t admit or say I love you. But it’s okay, he’s our bestie and our wife’s husband.

READERS TEXTS WITH RAFE. don’t get me started….Im started. Him so clearly nervous and scared to scare us off😭 and then us just fucking diving right in. The begging on the knees, I know he’s definitely gonna take that and RUN WITH IT. And I can’t wait. I can’t wait to see what he does with that. The whole conversation had be giggling and kicking my feet.

JJ AND THE READERS😮‍💨🤭 now that DELIVERED!!!! He’s so down bad, omg and I love it. I love him. LIKE I SAID. BOTH. You can’t make us chose, you can’t make reader chose. Damn😭 his; “breathing near you is the highlight of my day. I don’t ever really care about what we are doing.” LIKE OMG, this is so beautiful and sweet and this had me blushing and giggling and kicking my feet. Then him outing himself☠️ 13yrs damn poor man, and that’s a good question about his game 😂 that or we just blind asf.

THE SOS POST; the last post. This post. This Post. THIS. WAS. THE. POST. I was cackling so loud, giggling, everything!!!!! I reread it a million times because it was just beautiful. I have said it and I’ll say it again and forever and forever. POPE AND CLEO ARE THE BEST. I LOVE OUR BESTIES, OUR WIFEY AND HUSBAND. In actuality forget JJ and Rafe. GIVE ME CLEO AND POPE🙏 No, but Cleo springing over and leaving Pope in the dust is so funny I can’t. And poor Pope being so confused until Cleo is like, “Piping tea babe.” AND THEN HIS GIF/MEME OF RUNNING??? Absolutely dead, had me cackling even louder. I can’t explain how much I love Pope and Cleo, especially in this and as our besties. I can’t get over this one, legit my favorite (slide? Picture? Story post? Idk) it’s legit my favorite and was absolutely amazing.

Thank you for not only sharing this but creating this. It’s so amazing, and such a great and entertaining story. I love all the small little details you add to every part and all the little side stories and relationships that are involved in this. For example; John B jumping in the fight and helping defend not only his team but the reader. Topper seemingly always there and confused when reader and Rafe interact 😂 Rafe really needs to update this man on what’s happening fr 😂 it’s all just beautiful. Also Rafe and JJ getting along just for reader and everyone literally being like, okay readerrrrr we see you and your power. My point is this is stunning and I’m in love with it so much. Thank you 🫶💙🥰

Kildare University- Sophomore Year: 8

Synopsis: A Social Media AU in which you find yourself at Kildare University along with your friends. Starting over at a new school shouldn't be difficult. Well, except for the fact that your ex-boyfriend is the quarterback, and you are the drum major. Add in a little bit of drama, a lot of friendship, an ex who can't seem to let you go, and a best friend who has been in love with you since you were kids and well? Welcome to KU!

Pairings: Past!Rafe x Reader, JJ x Reader, Rafe x Reader

Masterlist

Taglist:

@akobx @onelonelybitch @the-universe-and-karma @beeskisses @frankoceanluvr11 @ivy-34 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @k-k0129 @asyouwish-fromcabin3 @xoxo-ada @aariahnaa @strawberryforks @urbrunettebombshell @whatisoutside @spenceatiny18

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[itsdanii]

Ahhh, your rejecting and regretting series is so good, my heart 🥺❤️ Can you do another one but with kuroo and kenma? You can ignore this request if you don’t wanna do it, I love your writing style and your blog! Stay safe and have a good day! 💞💞

Hey, bub! Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it ♥️ I hope you don't mind me doing this only for Kenma. I got carried away so it got quite longer than I intended 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, here's your request! I hope you like it ♥️ Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! Mwah!

a/n: read the note on the last part.

Rejecting and Regretting 6

genre: angst to fluff

warning/s: cursing, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. timeskip!kenma kozume

title says it all

Masterlist | Updates

Kenma Kozume

When you moved in to your apartment, you never expected your neighbor to be THE Kenma Kozume

If truth be told, you've been a fan of his ever since he started streaming

You knew that he didn't know you nor would he pay attention to you so you did not bother telling him that you were a big fan - the first one to always comment when he starts streaming

Not only did you think that it may make him uncomfortable but also make him feel like you were only trying to befriend him for his reputation

One night, as you were coming back from a short trip to the grocery store, you were walking with your earphones in and nose pointed on the screen while rewatching one of his videos

What you didn't know was that Kenma was walking behind you and was actually staring as you smiled and giggled while watching

You almost squealed when a hand came on your shoulder, almost punching the person behind you

Oddly, that was the starting point of your friendship

Although Kenma was hesitant at first (duh, you almost punched him) , he slowly eased when he felt that you were genuine

You basically went from neighbors to roommates because of how often you went to his unit, just playing random games and having occasional sleepovers

It wasn't long then when you realized that your "fangirling" towards the streamer developed into something more

You realized that you were no longer looking at him as the Kodzuken of the gaming world but just Kenma Kozume

You knew that you were fucked and thus you tried hiding it, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't

So you came up with a solution - confess. You decided that you would take the leap, confess, and hope that everything would turn out well, not knowing that it was only one sided

You shifted from one foot to another as you waited for Kenma to open the door of his unit.

Earlier, you both planned another sleepover and you took the initiative to cook dinner for the two of you instead of ordering another takeout.

As you waited, you could feel your stomach grumbling as the scent of the freshly baked sushi wafted in the air.

To be honest, you weren't really a good cook but you taught yourself how to with the help of youtube and cookbooks. You weren't even planning on learning how to do it but you were getting bored of takeouts, plus, you also wanted to impress Kenma even for a bit.

When the door finally opened, you smiled widely at Kenma while showing the food you made.

"Told you to not bother knocking and just make your way inside," he muttered before taking the pan from you and letting you in.

"Unlike you, I have my manners, Kozume," you playfully said as you plopped yourself on the couch head first.

Hearing him mumbling something under his breath as he arranged the table, you propped your elbow on the couch to watch him with a small pout playing on your lips. Your eyes followed his every movement and you couldn't help but question how someone could look so perfect.

His hair was a mess in a half bun and he was wearing nothing fancy, just his old sweatpants and a hoodie. Despite that, he still managed to look like a model, specifically those who preferred the "woke up like this" look.

"Y/n, are you going to eat or not?"

You blinked your eyes when you noticed the frown plastered on Kenma's face. Immediately, you stood up and walked over to the table with a small blush on your cheeks after being caught daydreaming.

"Sorry," you said sheepishly.

Kenma's apartment was then filled with the sounds of utensils clanking and small conversations the two of you were sharing.

Even though it seemed like Kenma wasn't paying attention, you knew that he was listening. You were aware of how much he preferred listening and observing more than talking anyway. It's just that you wished that he would talk more around you.

Somewhere in your conversation, you tried hinting your feelings towards him. In fact, you think that it was pretty obvious, but it seemed like Kenma didn't notice - that or he was purposely avoiding to indulge you.

"Getting in a relationship with a fan isn't boring you know? It actually sounds exciting, to be honest."

At that, Kenma heaved a sigh which instinctively made you shut up.

His eyes were already casted on the food infront of him instead of you,  eyebrows furrowed as if he was suddenly put in a bad mood. "I dont... really like this topic," Kenma said with a dismissive tone.

You felt your heart drop upon hearing that.

You've already practiced your confession several times and there was no way you'd let such words discourage you that easily. All you knew was that you had to get it out of your chest - now or never.

You placed your utensils down and looked at him straight in the eye despite him trying to avoid your gaze. "Why not, Kozume?" you asked, trying to push him to talk.

"I just don't see the point. Why would you want to date your fan? That's... weird," he simply answered, "What if they don't really like you? There's a high chance that a fan would date their idols because of popularity and fame. It's nothing but a self satisfaction."

"Hmm... I guess you do have a point," you said with a nod.

Placing your elbow on top of the table, chin resting on your palm, you pointed at yourself with your free hand which made Kenma look at you with one eyebrow raised. "Then what if it's me who wants to date you? Im a fan of yours, after all. Would you also reject me?" you asked hopefully.

Without wasting any second, Kenma answered, "Of course. Why would I date you?"

You didn't know how to react upon hearing that. You wanted to believe that he was trying to tease you but there weren't any signs of that from the tone of his voice. Moreover, he had nothing but a serious expression on his face.

"Because I like you," you answered with a low voice.

That simple phrase caused the silence to enevelope the two of you. The anticipation made your hands feel clammy to the point that you had to let go of your utensils to grip the sweatpants your were wearing.

Silently, you stared at each other as if waiting for the other person to break the silence - until Kenma did.

"Well, I don't." Standing up, Kenma took his plate and placed it on the sink, his back turned against you as he continued, "I think I'm going to stream for a bit. Make yourself comfortable."

You stared at Kenma as he made his way to his room wordlessly. "Make myself comfortable? Just who the fuck would say that after rejecting someone?" you muttered under your breath.

Knowing that it would be pointless to distract him while streaming, you started to clean the table and proceeded on washing the plates. As you were doing so, you whispered a curse when a tear suddenly slid down your cheeks.

You weren't supposed to cry. You prepared for this so you should've been able to take the rejection properly, right? He was Kenma Kozume after all. Although you became close with each other, it seemed as if he was really beyond your reach.

And now you ruined the only thing keeping you close to him - your friendship.

You decided to leave his unit after that. You felt that proceeding with the sleepover would only put a tense atmosphere between the two of you. Moreover, he did shut you out, right? Though he told you to make yourself comfortable, the way he acted said otherwise.

Maybe he only said it not to hurt your feelings.

"As if he hadn't already," you murmured, shutting and locking the door behind you.

In hopes of cheering yourself up, you decided to take a warm shower and pamper yourself to he point that skincare products basically littered your vanity when you finished and don't forget the fact that you ended up smelling like a strawberry because of your bodywash.

By the time you went to bed, you were feeling a little better... or were you?

As you laid on your bed, staring at the wall beside you while hugging a pillow close to your chest, your mind suddenly went back to what happened awhile ago.

You thought of how dismissive he seemed towards you. He wasn't always like that. Kenma had always been enthusiastic when you're around. Sometimes you would even end up watching beside him as he streams.

What changed?

Groaning, you buried your face on your pillow when you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Tomorrow will be better," you mumbled against the soft material as you slowly allowed yourself to fall asleep.

It didn't.

In fact, it got worse.

Not only was Kenma avoiding you, he was also acting as if he didn't know you - as if you didn't exist.

Earlier this morning when you were taking the trash out, you waved at him in hopes of lightening up the mood, but instead of usually greeting you, Kenma didn't even spare you a glance. He basically walked pass you without saying anything.

At first, you thought that maybe he didn't see you. Maybe his mind was elsewhere while walking. That could be possible right?

But when it continued for several more days, you realized that he was indeed avoiding you.

You felt a mixture of pain and anger. You were supposed to be the one avoiding him since it was him who rejected you but why was it the other way around? He could've atleast talked to you, let alone smile. Did he not value even just your friendship?

As the days went on, you were slowly getting tired of being the only one to put effort on rekindling your relationship. It was exhausting to keep on chasing over someone who didn't even acknowledged you.

Maybe you were just a bother to him after all.

So despite your will to keep on getting his attention, you decided to stop. If he didn't want you then so be it. You already confessed and did your best to show him that you're genuine. That's all that matters.

-

Kenma stared at your door beside his intensely, hand mid-air to turn the knob of his own unit.

It had been two weeks since he last saw you and for the third time of the day, he was yet again met with nothing but silence when he tried knocking on your door.

Where were you?

He knew that how he acted towards you was unreasonable but he didn't expected himself to wake up feeling like shit everyday without seeing you. He did this. He pushed you away. He said he didn't like you, right?

Groaning frustratedly, Kenma entered his unit, heading straight to his streaming room to cool off his head. If he couldn't see you personally, then perhaps he could at least see your name on his viewers.

He knew you always watched his stream and how you would always be the first to comment. Sometimes, you would even donate a huge amount of cash as a tip even though you always complained about being broke.

"They're not watching?" Kenma said unconsciously as he noticed how your name wasn't on the list.

That instantly caused a ruckus in his stream's comment section. Several fans kept on asking who Kodzuken was referring to and some even got the right answer since he streamed with you several times already.

But instead of saying anything, Kenma stayed silent. He focused on his game, occasionally shifting his eyes to the comment section and interacting with his fans.

His eyes, however, caught one comment. It was a link with the caption "Isn't this y/n?". Out of curiosity, Kenma decided to check it, finding out that you were indeed the person in the video.

No, it wasn't a video. It was a live stream of someone like him - a player.

And there you were, seated beside the unfamiliar person with a fluffy blanket wrapped around your body and your your head resting on their shoulder.

Who was that and why did you look too comfy?

"Sorry, guys. I'll have to end the stream now. Something important came up," Kenma said with a small wave before ending his stream.

Stalking the other streamer's socials, Kenma frowned upon noticing several pictures of you attached in their instagram. They were even posted just a few days ago which meant that you must've been spending time with them throughout the days you weren't at home.

Something stirred inside Kenma. It was an unpleasant feeling blooming inside his chest, clawing at him and making him realize one important thing.

He was in love with you.

And it was only confirmed when he remembered how nervous he was when you confessed, how scared he was when he heard the door shutting after he rejected you, and how stupid he was for only realizing it now.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he quickly tapped on his phone, his finger hovering over your number, debating wether or not should he dial.

Suddenly, he shifted his gaze on the monitor of his pc which was still displaying the unfamiliar streamer when he noticed how you snuggled closer to their side.

Muttering anther curse, Kenma clicked on your number, his eyes focused on the montior of his laptop as he watched you picking up your phone.

"Please pick up," he pleaded when he noticed the frown on your face.

It took him a full 5 minutes and several dials to finally make you give in. He watched as you whispered something on the person beside you before making your way out of the room.

On cue, your voice suddenly met his ear.

"Kozume?"

It was still as soft as he could remember and with the fact that he finally admitted his feelings, his cheeks burned when he felt his heart racing.

Say it. Say it.

Say you like her.

"I-" pausing for a moment to rethink his words, Kenma sighed deeply before answering, "I'm sorry for being mean."

Fuck.

He was met with silence from the other side and for a moment, he got scared that you dropped the call.

It was until he heard some rustling sound that he realized you were still there and was purposely trying to stay quiet.

"Can we talk about this in person?" you said with a tiny voice.

Out of panic, Kenma nodded, forgetting that he was ralking to you over the phone and not in person. Mentally smacking himself, he answered, "Yes. I'd prefer that."

And I'd prefer if you're here instead of that caveman's room.

"Then, I'll be there in 20."

-

The moment Kenma heard someone knocking, he was quick to open the door.

His lips basically parted at the sight of you. It was only two weeks and yet why did it felt like he hadn't seen you in a month?

"Kozu-"

"I'm sorry," he cut you off, arms wrapping around you as soon as you stepped inside his apartment.

He felt how your body became stiff in his hold and without wasting any chance, he poured everything out. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you. I treated you as if you were the last person I wanted to be with and when I didn't see you for several days, I realized how much I hurt your feelings." He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on you as he gripped your shoulders slightly. "Forgive me? I promise that I'll make it up to you."

Kenma hoped that you could notice the genuineness in his voice. He wasn't the type of person to talk too much but for you, he'd do it if it means having you forgive him and give him another chance.

"It's... alright, Kozume," you answered with a small smile.

"It's alright?" Kenma asked slowly. He knew that he should be happy that you forgave him easily but the way you said it made it seem like you were only forcing yourself.

It's like you didn't mean it.

"W-what do you mean it's alright?" he repeated.

"It means exactly what it means. I don't really see the point of holding a grudge against you, you know? You rejected me and I accepted it." Shrugging your shoulders, you walked pass him and went to sit on the couch. "I guess I just got too ahead of myself. I mean, you're Kenma Kozume, the Kodzuken of the gaming world. It would be impossible for you to like me, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my confession."

Kenma swallowed the lump forming inside his throat, eyes darting away from your figure as he shook his head no. "No... That's not true."

"What do yo-"

"I like you. How could you ever think that low of yourself?" he said, finally looking at you before he walking towards your direction. "It's not Kodzuken to you, y/n. Kozume - just Kozume. I don't want you to think that I'm someone all high and mighty just because people acknowledge me. I don't care about that. I want you. I want you to look at me the same way you did before. I want you to keep on clinging to me and to keep on cooking for me despite not knowing how to. I want you to like me again. I just want you.."

You felt your eyes well up with tears. After a long time of pining over someone you thought you wouldn't be able to reach, it was finally here - the moment you finally manage to hear the words you've longed to hear from him.

"D-do you mean that?" you asked with a small sob, your hand covering your face as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on Kenma's lap. "What if you're only saying that to make me feel better?"

"Of course I mean it. I was too stupid being scared of acknowledging my feelings towards you that I ended up rejecting you. I'm sorry." Gently, Kenma rubbed your back as he kept you in his arms, words of apologies continue slipping past his lips as he waited for you to stop crying.

"If I told you I still like you, would you promise not to treat me like shit again?" you asked while wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. "You were really mean to me, Kozu."

"I'd promise," Kenma answered with a nod.

Looking at him, you sniffled one more time. "Then I still like you," you said without taking your eyes off him.

You didn't fail to notice how Kenma's cheeks turned a lighter shade of red and the thought of how he got more flustered by your second confession than the fact that you were seated on his lap made you smile a little.

"Oh," Kenma uttered, as if suddenly not knowing how to react.

"You're supoosed to kiss me like those cliche movies," you said while encircling your arms around his neck.

Kenma's blushed even deeper after hearing that. Gulping, he gave a stiff nod before leaning in and finally planting his lips on yours.

His lips were soft against yours. Despite how tense he was at the beginning, he slowly managed to relax, fingers interlocking with your hair as he kept on moving his lips in synch with yours, both of your eyes closed as you savored the moment.

You felt yourself smiling in your kiss as you realized something - no longer were you just a fan but his s/o.

If you're reading this, hello.

I've decided that this will be the last part of the rejecting and regretting series. Though I had a lot of fun writing these, I'm no longer satisfied with how I'm writing them. The scenes were slowly becoming repetitive as well as the words. I'm craving for something new- something fresh that I've yet to explore. It was quite overwhelming how much people loved this series and I'm very thankful for that so I feel a little bad that this would be the last one. Don't worry, I still have some stuff brewing up that I hope you'd all enjoy.

Thank you so much for the love, support, and most importantly, for reading the series up until this last one. ♥️

[watchmegetobsessed]

Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles

this is very random and just a lil somethin’, bc i secretly dream about being on one of these shows and meeting one of my crushes lmao, not me pretending to be at an interview in my own kitchen, hah, not at all!

hi hello so im adding this after this was posted. i randomly turned this into a series so you can find further parts for this in the series masterpost!

word count: 1.8k

pairing: Harry x actress!reader

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

“It’s so good to have you here, it’s been quite some time since the last time you sat in this chair, am I right?” Ellen asked with a warm smile as you nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy, I guess,” you chuckle tugging your hair behind your ear.

“I mean, of course. You starred in two movies since then and even got nominated for an Emmy as well for your role in The Umbrella Academy!” she lists and the audience starts cheering on your successes. “Of course you’ve been busy, but I’m glad you had time to drop by for a talk. So, let’s talk about your upcoming movie. You’ll be co-stars with Zendaya and Finn Wolfhard, it’s a quite interesting cast.”

“Yes! I’m very excited to work with them, I just met Zendaya the other day and though I’M yet to meet Finn I’m sure we will get along well.”

“What was your first impression about Zendaya?”

“Oh, she is very sweet and funny, I think working with her will be more like just a fun activity,” you admit chuckling and Ellen nods in agreement.

“I bet. Alright. So let’s talk about quarantine, it was a rather huge part of the year, where did you spend it?”

“I went home to my family, so I quarantined with them in my hometown.”

“And what did you do mostly?”

“We played a lot of board games and my mom taught me to cook,” you admit with a shy chuckle.

“Yeah, we had the luck to see parts of that,” Ellen chuckles as a video of you and your mom in the kitchen appears on the big screen behind you. It was posted to your Instagram when she attempted to teach you how to make her famous meatloaf. “It seems like you are a natural talent in the kitchen.”

“Well, I haven’t burned it down, so it’s going fine,” you chuckle.

“Alright, and what else did you do? Seen any good movies or discovered some new artists in the world of music?”

“Oh, absolutely. I definitely watched everything I’ve been postponing and I got to listen to new music, so now I have a few new favorites,” you admit smiling.

“Have you been listening to Harry Styles lately?” she asks and you find the question a little odd and very… specific.

“I mean, yes, but it wasn’t anything new, I really like his music,” you admit truthfully. “He is a great artist for sure.”

“Have you been at any of his concerts by any chance?” she asks and you notice that the audience is getting a little excited over something, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.

“Not yet, but I hope it’s gonna happen one day.”

“Well, I think I can get you tickets to see him,” a voice speaks up from behind you and immediately, the audience starts cheering as your head snaps around and you see none other than Harry Styles standing behind you. Your mouth hangs open as you feel yourself blushing, he is so tall and handsome, dressed in a bright blue suit with a silver shirt underneath, smiling down at you widely as he walks around the armchairs to greet you.

“Oh shit, I was not expecting this,” you breathe out as you stand up and hug him shortly before he moves over to greet Ellen as well.

“’M glad you like my music, Love,” he smiles as he sits in the armchair next to you and you swear you see him wink at you.

“We thought you wouldn’t mind our other guest joining in,” Ellen explains Harry’s appearance.

“Not at all,” you smile shaking your head. Harry has been your celebrity crush for quite a while, but the two of you just never crossed paths, until now.

“’S very nice to meet yeh,” he nods in your way.

“Same goes for you.”

“Okay, so now that Harry is here, I thought that we could play a little game,” Ellen announces reaching for something next to her armchair.

“Oh man,” you breathe out earning a round of laughter from the audience. “Last time we played something you asked me the most embarrassing burning questions!” you whine thinking back how you had to admit that you sleep with your lights on when it’s raining outside.

“We’ll do something similar this time too,” she chuckles before handing out two round boards to you and Harry as well.

“Oh fo’ fuck’s sake!” Harry groans making the audience laugh again. “Not this!”

“I know you loved it when we played it the last time,” Ellen grins as Harry hides his face behind the board that’s now showing his I HAVE sign towards the cameras. “We’re gonna play Never Have I Ever, I think you both know the rules.”

“Yes, this is why I want to run away now,” you mumble under your breath.

“I’m going with yeh,” Harry smirks at you finally letting his board drop to his knees. Seemingly, the audience is enjoying your misery.

“Don’t be babies, it’s gonna be fun!” “For who? Not me!” Harry exclaims making everyone in the studio laugh. “Should’ve asked what we’re gonna do before I said yes.”

“Too late, Harry. Alright, let’s start,” Ellen announces as she takes her card in her hands, picking the first one and she reads the lines on it. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone I worked with.”

You huff as you turn your board so the I HAVE side is facing the camera, while Ellen has the same side showing, but Harry shows the I HAVE NEVER.

“Never?” you ask Harry.

“Well, what do yeh mean by working with?” he asks with narrow eyes as he taps on his chin.

“Anyone you had any relations with through a job.”

“Well then…” he sighs turning the board, earning some cheering.

“Okay. Never have I ever drunk texted someone and regretted it in the morning,” Ellen continues with the next question.

“Oh, too often,” you blurt out holding up the I HAVE side.

“What did yeh write?” Harry asks with a cheeky smile while he holds up the same side.

“Well, there are just too many, I can’t choose,” you admit laughing. “I often tend to write down my feelings when I had a little too much to drink and then send it without a second thought.”

“Then I better get yeh drunk to find out what yeh think about me,” Harry teases and you hear a loud “ooh” coming from the audience while you can only hope your make up covers the blush on your cheeks.

“I’d need your number for that to happen,” you say arching an eyebrow at him.

“That’s something we can easily fix,” he smirks.

“Okay, before the two of you go on your first date right away, let’s finish the game,” Ellen jokes and you both turn to her. “Never have I ever kissed someone I didn’t know.”

“What do you mean by knowing someone?” you ask to clarify.

“Let’s say you didn’t even know their name,” she adds and as you think about it, you hold up the I HAVE NEVER side first, but then flip it over.

“Oh, something popped into yeh mind?” Harry teases while he holds up the I HAVE side as well.

“I guess I just want to forget about it, but I can’t,” you admit chuckling awkwardly.

“Were you drunk or you just didn’t care to ask for their name?” Ellen questions.

“I’ve had quite a few drinks if I’m being honest. But I think he told me his name, I just didn’t catch it,” you admit.

“Poor guy, he is completely forgotten,” Harry chimes in shaking his head in a dramatic way.

“Alright, we have two more questions. Never have I ever had a friend with benefits.”

“This game sucks!” you snap as you hold up the I HAVE side, making the audience laugh. “You’re making me look like such a bad person!” you whine to Ellen.

“Don’t feel so bad, Harry is in the same shoe!” she chuckles and turning to the man on your right you see that Harry has the same side showing and a very cheeky smirk on his lips.

“How did it end?” you ask out of curiosity. You know how yours ended, in a horrible fight, because he wanted more, but you were in it just for the fun.

“Not in the best way, if I’m bein’ honest,” he clears his throat leaning back in his seat. “How about yours?”

“Same,” you nod chuckling.

“I guess it was a learning lesson for the both of you,” Ellen smirks before reading the last question. “Never have I ever ghosted somebody.”

“Shit,” you mumble, trying to hide your smirk as you hold up the I HAVE side. Harry thinks to himself before doing the same. Leaning forward he checks yours and your eyes meet for a moment.

“I think it would be an honor to anyone to be ghosted by yeh,” he teases you making you roll your eyes. “Wha’? ‘M telling the truth!” he chuckles.

“Wanna get on the list of my ghosted people?” you joke raising your eyebrows at him and he immediately holds his hands up.

“Would rather not.” He places a hand over his heart before smiling in your way sweetly. “Tha’ would break m’ heart.”

“Oh come on!” you chuckle feeling the heat crawling up your neck and cheeks as the audience lets out a soft “aww” at his words.

“Alright, thank you for playing, I think we found out some interesting things about the both of you.”

“Thanks for embarrassing us,” you add mumbling as you hand her back the board.

“It was a pleasure,” she chuckles. “We’ll be right back after a short break, please stay with us, we have more from Y/N and Harry coming right in your way, so stay tuned!” she announces as the crowd cheers.

“Friends with benefits, huh?” Harry asks smirking in your way as you fix your dress. You just shrug your shoulder trying to look casual when you feel so intimidated sitting next to him.

“Had to try it, I guess,” you admit.

“I get it,” he chuckles. “So, if I were to ask for yeh number, would I eventually be ghosted as well?”

You have to bite into your bottom lip to hide your growing smile at his attempt to flirt with you.

“We’ll see. You gotta ask for it first,” you tell him with a knowing smile, hoping to look flirty and light, not the nervous wreck that you truly feel like talking to him.

“I think my dressing room is two doors down yours, so expect me to drop by after this,” he smirks, making your heart skip a beat before Ellen starts speaking and the taping continues.

NEXT PART

[haik-choo]

karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i -- 

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic 

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you” 

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with 

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL) 

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you 

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive 

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens 

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger 

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on 

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG 

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what. 

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3 

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn��t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top 

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour 

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting 

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads) 

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost 

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise 

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home 

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely 

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks      

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving 04 (final) | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: “drabble” series, best friends to lovers au, slight angst, FLUFF, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, smarter idiots but still idiots all the same

⇢ word count: 6.8k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, excessive drinking (drink responsibly), pining, jungkook is an overdramatic baby, a surplus of feelings (i am disgusted with myself), one (1) fire hazard

⇢ summary: with the Friendiversary approaching quickly, both you and Jungkook have an array of trials to navigate through. and, as Seokjin gets caught in the crossfires, you must finally make a decision that will define how the rest of your life will unfold. 

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: wow.... so bitches really call this a drabble series then write a 6 thousand word finale... its me im bitches... anywho, i really love the way this played out!! jungkook had to hit the bottom to start rising to the top and it shows. also, the ending is like....... hehe well ill just let you all see for yourselves. enjoy my lovely readers! this wrapped up such a heartfelt series that is so dear to my heart. thank you all for the support for this! and i might whip up a few drabbles simply because i think this relationship is really cute hehe ok... happy reading! <3

part four: i love you too

Carrying that music box in his pocket felt like a well-deserved and all too grim reminder of what went down a few days ago. Sitting drunk yet again, though one would best describe Jungkook’s posture as more of a sloven pile of flesh and bones withering away on a bar stool, he searched for the wallet which was in one of his four pockets.

He reached for the wrong one. Instead of the faux leather skimming his skin, it was a solid wood corner pricking the pad of his index finger. It stung more than it should have. Perhaps he'd gotten a splinter, or the top layer of his skin was simply too raw from all the wear and tear of your fight. Jungkook wasn’t one to jump at such negligible shocks, but it sank him back into that night. It wasn't the wooden corner at all.

You loved him. You still love him.

That's what you said. That's what nearly put him on the floor instead of in his chair, and what had been preying on his mind as if he were no different than a helpless animal drowning his regrets in whiskey. And he knew he should have said it back. 

Jungkook theorized ways to defy the cruel restraints of time, and if the universe would be so kind as to allow him to travel back to that day in middle school when he happened upon a scared, flush-faced student running so fast and panicked that they bumped into each other, just to be the one who said 'I love you' first. Or those genies and shooting stars and blessed fountains that supposedly granted wishes; he would pay no hesitation to plead with whatever deity would listen and permit his most prioritized desire. 

The retrospective bargaining remained a ghost haunting just about every waking moment of his life. Though, he had not been quite sure if said ghost was some cosmic sent presence or simply his own guilt. If regret took on physical ramifications, then Jungkook would have been convinced that was why he felt as if his legs wouldn't have been able to carry him even if he tried.

If I could just go back to that night with the knowledge I know now, I would have hauled my ass to your house instead of that club and told you that my choice was made for me the moment I met you. Every other person I ended up with these past twelve years was simply a buffer for loving you. I had to prepare myself, because loving you was something entirely too tremendous for a boy still grappling with his own faulty speech pattern to assume.

I wish you knew that. I wish I didn’t stand there like an idiot and let you leave, thinking me some hero for finally letting this new guy Seokjin take the place I had always imagined being in. I wish I had just said that I love you.

I love you.

I love you, ___.

Jungkook’s vision resembled that of a smudged lens. However, there were no fingerprints on his eyes. The world had turned blurry and colorless, the latter he knew was not due to the sixth order of whiskey he let soak into his heart’s open wound. 

A life of color was one of the many things that left when you did.

He didn’t know it then, but Jungkook was being fervently dramatic since it had not been more than seventy-two hours the last time he spoke to you. Thought to him, it was akin to being just short of death and taking another breath would have been an expense he wasn’t sufficiently funded to pay. 

Whatever happened in the interim of him paying his tab and walking out onto the sidewalk must have landed somewhere in the blacked out stretches of his inebriated memory, since he was now staring at your contact gleaming on his phone bearing the semblance of one guardian angel.

It was so ingrained into his routine. Opening the app with the phone icon, clicking the ‘recent’ tab, and finding your name no further than three contacts down the list because he called you as if he had important things to tell you, though normally it was just to hear your voice or to tell you about what he had for lunch. And it nestled into his muscle memory as natural as it was for him to breathe or blink. Even when alcohol debilitated his driving, walking, and thinking, his body was drawn to seek a haven such as yourself. And he nearly pressed ‘call’.

Before the comfort of your voice could ring through to his phone, reality descended upon that reflex. Right now, you were probably with Seokjin, attending some pretentious art gallery for one of his colleagues.

It was just Jungkook and the night sky and the moon that he hoped you were gazing at too; it would be the only connection to you as of now. The moon, a parcel for the most longing gazes.

There are stories where the two protagonists get it right. This was not that story. That reality stung more than the residual burn of whiskey clinging along his throat.

Both you and Jungkook made every wrong decision possible. From the moment you subjected yourself to exploiting the veneer of being a ‘good friend’ to disguise any true feelings that might have taken light, to the moment Jungkook was presented with all the excruciatingly obvious signs that you were in love with him, but was simply too inept to notice, to the both of you neglecting any urge threatening the bounds of platonic. Any path that would have steered to a destination where you two would get that happy ending was conveniently untaken.

And you had a long journey riddled with heartbreak after heartbreak to prove it.

He traded his phone with that wooden music box, scuffing the soles of his shoe as he walked back home, hoping he’d be able to give the gift to you on your Friendiversary.

-----

Your pain was still raw. In this way, you had not considered, or rather avoided the idea of tending to such delicate wounds. The days leading up to the infamous anniversary had been spent hoping you would organically heal enough to allow the presence of Jungkook while denying another reopening in your wound.

You had been juggling a not so thrilling number of conflicts the three days preceding that self-acclaimed national holiday.

One, Seokjin and his bottomless supply of invitations that you felt too obligated to refuse. He had such a life packed with plans which is more than you could have said for Jungkook. He, most likely, busied himself with promoting ranks in some obscenely violent video game. Two, a mutual friend of yours had told you Seokjin was fixing to make your relationship official this coming Friday, and you didn’t want to admit the lackluster reaction upon hearing the news was equivalent to receiving a C on a test. It wasn't the worst grade to receive, but you knew there would always be something better than adequacy. Not satisfying enough nor disappointing enough to be dealt with without bending a few expectations. And three, all you really wanted, the only agent of excitability (both good and bad) that diluted the festering numbness in your heart just a tad more, was thinking about seeing Jungkook on your Friendiversary.

But with that excitement, was its equally worrying constituent: whether or not you would be able see Jungkook that day without cracking under pressure.

Things weren’t exactly attuned between the two of you. Your emotional stature had never been more unsynchronized and offkey with Jungkook’s, so, forcing a celebratory movie or dinner would be no different than adding cornstarch to the already thick tension.

“___? Are you listening?” Everything Seokjin had just been droning on about filtered in and out without a single word being absorbed, and you could have pretended this wasn't the case but  stress had apprehended caring enough to lie.

“Sorry… No, I wasn't. I’m just stressed is all.” Since that was only a half lie, self-admonition had not yet taken permanent residency whenever you would look at Seokjin’s eyes offering nothing but genuine tact.

“Oh, sorry to hear! Are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about?” That, and the soft press of his hand over yours had swallowed you into a perpetual, guilty cycle of comparing two incomparable people.

Seokjin was always like this. Serving a gentle smile and honest ears as a vessel of calmness during whatever calamity you were grappling. It was safe knowing if you fell, you’d have a comfortable cushion to soften the impact. He was mindful with his words and had the intelligence to articulate them with impressive eloquence. You were more likely to see pigs fly than to see him stutter. He had a diverse group of friends and walked a steady path to a financially secure life. And you started to wonder what else one would need in a partner? Any sensible person would do much more than you had to snag someone like Seokjin, as handsome as he was kind and respectful. He seemed to have everything Jungkook lacked, including mutual feelings for you.

It would have been entirely too easy to pick him, as if there was a ‘Seokjin’ button and a ‘Jungkook’ button and you could press Seokjin’s on a whim. If choosing him would have meant miraculous nullification of all your very real and very unremitting feelings for that idiot you called your best friend, then you would have done it in a heartbeat.

There wasn't a 'Seokjin' button or a 'Jungkook' button, nor was there a button that would wondrously redistribute your feelings towards Seokjin.

And then there was Jungkook. Always in the back of your mind when he wasn't tenanting the focus of it.

He was never predictable in the ways that mattered. It was just as difficult figuring out his next move as figuring out whether this trait was exciting or exhausting.

Though, this had not been to say you didn’t know him well; in fact, all his habits and preferences and pet peeves could be bound into a book, written by you, and it would be so accurate anyone who read it would think it was an autobiography. He knew you to the same caliber. Where Seokjin would ask what was wrong, Jungkook wouldn’t need to. He already learned your behavior to know to say something along the lines of ‘tell me what’s wrong when you're ready, we can watch your favorite movie or swing by that Chinese place with those great fried dumplings in the meantime’. And on more favorable occasions, he'd say nothing and simply wrap you in his arms and let his shirt become a delta for your tears.

To anyone else, that might sound entirely too frank and perhaps a bit dismissive to be comforting, but to you it was the exact cure for each affliction. To never need explanations that would validate your feelings because Jungkook saw to that right when he took notice; to never manufacture fake smiles through failed attempts at cheering you up since, of course, he knew exactly what to do to vegetate joy in your heart and earn a smile from years and years —and years— of practice. It had almost driven you mad, thinking about how he knew from a shift in your brow what you were feeling and yet, somehow, never realized how deeply in love you were.

All the while, the moment you were convinced you had been versed fluently in his every move, he would pawn another blindsight that would leave you breathless and amazed all the same. Jungkook always had concealed tricks up his sleeve, and life was anything but repetitive with him. You would more often than not find yourself struggling to relearn language and existing itself just to keep up with him. How exactly he managed to wield such diametric facets of being was an enigma beyond the reasoning of this universe.To feel like home, somewhere you belonged outside of your own body, and a daring voyage into a completely new world all at once must have meant he was some sort of Godsend. Only angels could have sculpted a soul so magnetizing, you assumed.

Seokjin was an umbrella, shielding you on some arcane journey under an unforgiving rainfall. Your shoes kept dry and your hair intact.

And if he was the umbrella, then Jungkook was the rain. Falling everywhere and all at once, so that you couldn't help but let yourself be saturated in his entire, vibrant being. And who’s to say letting such a water fall against your skin was a bad thing? Sometimes rain is cleaning, gentle even. They bear fruits as beautiful as rainbows that guide you to an unnamed treasure.

Your treasure, however, had a name.

Jungkook calling.

"___? Hello? You in there?" Seokjin waved his hand in front of your face mostly in a jesting manner, but part of him felt like your eyes were blinded by something held in your heart. If he hadn’t pulled you back into reality, you might have been lost forever.

“I'm just…” Your attention had abandoned this conversation the second his name gave light to your screen. “Sorry, um…”

“It's okay, you can take the call. I’ll be in the kitchen making us some coffee.”

If you were to thank him profusely, it would have been far too obvious how much you missed seeing his name among your notifications, and most likely expose how often you spent thinking of Jungkook while you were supposed to be enthralled with Seokjin. So, you just nodded and answered the phone.

Nodding and answering, as though that didn't feel like taking a breath of clean air after hours of swimming through muddied waters.

“Hello? ___?”

“Jungkook.��� It took you longer than usual to form a response and what was assembled had been a half-baked utterance just to let him know you were on the other side of the phone, hearing his voice and feeling a surge of energy course through your veins like he was some delicious narcotic filling life into you after only a week without him.

“___.” Jungkook was in his own debt of words as well. The exchange halted for a few seconds, a jaded breathing cutting the cracked static.

“Look-”

“Hey so-”

Any hope that you had finally caught up to the same page as Jungkook was lost. Now, it seemed you two were reading entirely different books.

“You go.” You said after another dreadful pause. He was the one who called, so he should be the one carrying the burden of navigating through this deafening tension.

“Well, I- uh… I… Well, you see I was just, um, wondering…” Jungkook’s heart must have shut off. That would explain why even the most rudimentary of words felt closer to a foreign language. Or, why he was making conscious efforts to counteract the threat of his nearly dormant lisp.

His brain was drained dry of any blood, his inner mechanisms were shutting down. Even without the alcoholic filter catching words and common sense in its web, Jungkook felt himself fall into an overactive state of dumbfoundedness. Sobriety only a cataract for his emotional override. 

“Our friendiversary?”

“I’m sorry, I did not understand literally anything you just said.”

“Me neither.”

The charming and familiar laugh that spilled through the speaker reminded you that Jungkook was in fact a real person. Not some figmented embodiment of every lost and unrequited and tortuous feeling you had been suppressing for twelve years. Jungkook was real, his laugh and everything else you loved about him were all so incredibly real. And more importantly, the pure joy you felt was real; a permanent serialization of his. Your smiles and his smiles had always surfaced in tandem.

Now, you both were laughing. Neither were warranted by his messy attempt at forming a coherent sentence. The weight of discomfort shedding from your shoulders had been partnered with a slew of relieved chuckles.

“Anyway, um. I- I still wanna see you on our Friendiversary. Or, at least give you your gift.” Admitting that was terrifying but the thought of breaking the consecutive streak of eleven years simply because he was too much of a coward to admit he wanted to see you dizzied him. However, the thought of spending your friendiversary alone terrified him beyond comprehension. So, he thought not about that as a possibility; he carved an opening to his heart in hope you wouldn’t send sharp thorns of rejection into it.

“Yeah, I, uh. I still wanna see you too. I mean, it is a national holiday. We gotta have holiday spirit, right?” You were forcing playful banter, it felt like lemon juice scouring cuts on your tongue, but you were so desperate to make things between you two feel normal.

“You’re right! So, um… You can come over tomorrow night. I’ll set up a surprise or whatever.” He seemed to have fallen back into stride with pre-confession Jungkook. Trying to keep up with him now would just exhaust you of all your means, so you chose to save the rest for tomorrow night. Even if that meant watching him walk away to some unforeseeable finish line; his back, the last part of him you’d see until you could finally collect your broken pieces and start walking as well.

“Sounds good! I’ll, um, see you then.”

“See you, ___.”

You had no idea, and how could you, that Jungkook was now wiping small clusters of wetness from the bed of his eyelids. Why he thought you, the one person that remained a constant in his life, would say no to him over one fight (of many) made for quite the spill of tears. But if you did know, you would have told him you felt like crying too.

"Hey! How did everything go?" You were so immersed in your virtual conversation with Jungkook you nearly forgot the person you were presently with. The train of guilt wouldn't stop for your pathetic attempts at disembarking.

"Oh! Thanks for the coffee." You sipped, and it had just been a stall to blink away the tears that were straying beyond your will of concealment. "It went good. We're still celebrating our Friendiversary."

"Friendiversary?" Seokjin's light chuckle veiled his tense concern.

"Yeah... Uh, it's just this thing we do to celebrate our friendship. The day we met."

"Oh... that's..." His eyes were scaling the rim of his mug.

"That's what, Seokjin?" You were stern, knowing well enough it was born of far more than platonic defensiveness. And you had no right to be the one prosecuting him since you clearly had more to hide than meets the eye.

"I mean, it's just interesting how dedicated you are to an anniversary with a friend." Seokjin wielded that soft-spoken voice which made it difficult to be anything but patient with him. And from the tone of it, he seemed to have no ill intentions with that statement, though it had not been an entirely innocent observation. To you, however, it felt like he might as well have set you on fire.

"Interesting? What is that supposed to even mean? I mean, we've been friends for twelve years. I- I don't know why people are always so judgmental." Your arms crossed over your chest, hoping he would take notice how much his comment slighted you. If asked, you would have insisted you would have been this worked up over any of your friends. Though you knew well enough this was untrue, and it made you feel even worse acting as though Seokjin was the one at fault here.

"I'm sorry. I'm not judging you, really. I just... I just have never heard of two friends doing something like that so religiously."

You sighed out all your anger, knowing the way you snapped at him was merely misdirected frustration. "No, I'm sorry. I know it's kinda weird."

"Look, I get it. You guys are close. But, ___, you talk about him so much that half, no, over half of your stories include him. We've been dating for, what, barely a week now, and I know more about this Jungkook guy than I know about you, and I haven't even met him."

Lips parted, ready to dispatch another slew of defenses to refute all the things he said. It was more disappointing than it was shocking to find nothing but a long sigh emerging. Because he was right. Jungkook has been interwoven so thoroughly in your last twelve years that if you only told the stories without him in it, then it would be the least accurate and nondescript retelling of your life. Fragments of an unfinished novel. It would miss the most crucial pieces, entire chapters, of your story.

You would have been presenting a shell of you, hollow and one dimensional. All the inner parts of you, the lungs and veins and tissue that gave you life and made you whole belonged solely with Jungkook.

That's why you sat there, blank faced, foolishly waiting for the words that wouldn't come to your aid because you had no place to contend with him.

"Seokjin... I'm with you..." It's all that would come up your throat, and it felt like acid. You were sure it burned his ears when he heard them more than it had your throat.

It hadn’t even been partially true. Physically you were with him, but in your head you were sitting on your couch with Jungkook, consuming a concerning amount of junk food while chatting through a movie used more as background noise than entertainment.

"Okay. Does that mean you don't have feelings for him?"

"Well..."

"Can you confidently say you could replace all the time you spend with him with time you would spend with me?" Seokjin must have noticed your returning tears because he loosened his verbal grip from your throat. To you, it sounded like he was pacifying you for some horrible sin, to anyone else it sounded as though he was simply trying to dredge up feelings that would disrupt the chance of a relationship between you and him. "___, I like you. I really do, but in all honesty, I'm looking for something serious. I think we would be great together, but only if you don't have any feelings left for him."

"Seokjin..." You regretted looking at him.

Sweetness was strewn in his eyes and gentle smile. Seokjin was softer than cotton, which made the real threat, the rough sandpaper wearing away skin and bones, you. It made it all the more painful to know you had been keeping everything you felt for Jungkook hidden from Seokjin. Though, if one would have presented an objective point of view, your feelings were far from secretive. And the most brutal honesty was that you knew feelings for Seokjin were never in your attainability. Not the way they always had been for Jungkook.

He was the wrong person who crossed paths with you at the right moment. A mere convenience. And you knew he deserved much more than what you had to offer.

"And maybe I'm being an idiot, but I like you too much to give you some ultimatum which would put you in such an unfair position. So, I'll let you think this over." His compassion felt more like a sharp blow to your chest. “No pressure.”

If he hadn’t smiled like he did, then you would have broken up with him right then and there. It was not possible to rip away such tender hope away from a smile so sweet.

"I'm sorry." You meant the remorse behind those words and it still hadn’t amounted to a proper consolation. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess I'll go... Seokjin?”

“Yes?” He replied quickly, and you knew only a pace that rapid was one brought on by a sliver of faith that you might have made your decision right then.

“You’re a really great person. You deserve the world.”

Unfortunately, you couldn’t give him what he wanted. And as bitter and unkind as that might have felt at the moment, it was the only bit of truth and relent you could have offered him.

-----

In your bed, sleep became somewhat of an abstract desire. You knew your rest was deprived from you when the digital clock on your bedside told you it was six hours past the time you'd normally fall asleep. It was because you really did have a choice to make now.

To choose Seokjin, and know you'd collapse in the safety of his reciprocated affection, though haunted by how you would never feel the fullest extent of content. And you would live with that until resentment and distance wedged irreversible damage in your relationship.

Or, to choose Jungkook, which would catapult you into a depth so dark and tenuous that you would have no idea whether you'd meet gentle snow or hard, deadly concrete when you landed. And maybe you'd never land at all; maybe you would be caught in a state of falling down and down forever, until your beating heart eventually stilled.

Which one was worth it? Which were you willing to risk? These were the questions that kept you awake.

The hours leading to your undisclosed celebration events with Jungkook ceased being actual points of your existence and merely obstructions that you had to plow through in order to arrive at some conclusive moment. Something that might give you an answer to all your questions. Something that might have released you from devotedly checking your phone for a Jungkook patented text or call.

You were turning into a half-being. Someone who could only inhale a full breath, laugh an intentional laugh, and sleep a soundless sleep when their other half was there.

If you thought being in love with Jungkook for your entire friendship was pathetic, then you couldn’t fathom what you had become now.

Standing in front of his door, the same one you lugged him to that night he was too drunk to balance on his feet, when you willingly carried all the weight he couldn’t, when your lips became acquainted and comfortable with his within half a beat, you felt as if this chunk of wood was mocking you. A partition barricading you from Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The man you always felt you were on the outskirts of, with only a window to peer into his unreadable mind. And that was enough for you ―until now.

Now you were going to knock on that door with your hand, make him open it for you, and walk into his home. You would be the one to step foot inside of the very structure that only solicited closed doors and immovable walls and fogged windows. And you would leave behind your timidity, every feeling and urge that left you with disappointing compromises for the sake of maintaining this friendship.

You would be selfish, and he would finally feel a mere glimpse of what you have always felt for the best and worst of your life.

Even when he opened the door, arming a smile that actively disarmed you, this home of his was yours to conquer. This was your time to act for you alone, despite how many smiles he sent your way. You had not any weapons or shields or an infantry for a clutch. You just had your heart and all the love it carried. 

“Hey! ___, you look… You look great.” There was no real incentive for him to censor how he truly thought you looked. Immeasurably beautiful. It was simply his own nerves impeding on the feelings that were too intense to express without it being followed by an entire soliloquy of I love you’s.

“Thanks... You too...” You could almost feel the words brimming in your and Jungkook’s mouth, carrying such raw emotions and longing intentions.

"I'm really glad that- Jungkook..." Walking into his house punctuated what you were about to say.

His living room was strewn with enough candles to steal the last of your words and to consider his house a fire hazard. That didn't negate this lovely sea of lights to be anything but romantic and thoughtful. A bit cluttered, and not at all perfect, but it must have taken Jungkook hours to set up every wax column. The thoughtfulness of this gesture would have astonished you had it not been for the consistency of Jungkook snatching your breath and words away whenever he tried. It was antithetical, the way you expected his surprises. Yet, always surprised all the same.

Unpredictable, completely surrounding you just like the rain.

"I had to turn off my fire detector but... Worth it." Jungkook considered the number of mishaps that could have dampened any chance of this being romantic.

A candle could tip over and set his entire place ablaze, the wax could leak onto his carpet and tabletops, damaging his furniture and savings for replacements, you and he could have suffocated from all the fumes steaming from the wick. But if that look on your face didn't feel like the only bit of revival to keep his heart's steady beating, if your eyes didn’t look as though it was the only set of eyes that shed beauty into this world then he wouldn't have used up exactly three lighters to pull this stunt. But it did, and he felt warmth and color return to every inch of his body.

He would have used hundreds of lighters to ignite thousands of candles if that meant an ounce of happiness from you. He wanted to say that, but he knew the candles said it for him.

The spectacle almost made you forget why you were here in the first place. It almost made you forget the resolve you managed to gather before entering. And then he said your name.

"___."

The letters flowing from his lips as if they could only be pronounced by his tongue. It sounded so good. So good, that if anyone else were to say it then it wouldn't have been your name at all. It would have sounded wrong, sullied. And it wasn't supplied by neat articulation, this new belonging of your name in his mouth. The need for him to sculpt your name into this world was more than that. "I will never forgive myself if I don't get this out while I still can."

"Jungkook, what is all this?" You didn't know why you felt a collection of tears brimming along your eyes, but you didn't care to figure it out. Perhaps you felt an influx of feelings, an abundance too heavy for your body to seal within the confines of your emotional seams, so they overflowed in the form of tears. This certainly had not been the first time you cried over Jungkook, but you had never cried over him like this.

"___, I love you!" Jungkook said loudly. It was just you and him who could hear, but it felt as though he wanted the entire world to know.

"What? I- You- What?" Your lack of verbal poise was indicative of your love for him once again taking the reins of your mind and heart. Words were a luxury you couldn't afford as of now. You just had to feel everything you were feeling until the rainstorm settled. The hope that he would spare you some remnants of fluency was far along, and you weren't too sure if what Jungkook was about to say would be gentle enough to leave you with any words at all.

"I love you. I don't know why I didn't know it sooner. Or maybe, I- Maybe I did know?" Jungkook sighed at his own ineloquence. "I'm stupid! That's it. That's my only excuse. I'm so stupid. The way I felt about you, the way I still feel about you, is something I thought all best friends had. I thought everyone felt like the moments they weren't spending with their best friends just felt like filler moments. Like, every day I spent without you was just a span of time I had to wait out until I see you again. Like every damn moment of my life is spent waiting for you. And if I don't end up with you then... then I'll never stop waiting."

"Jungkook, I-" He prevailed in surprising you, taking words and breath and thoughts all at once.

"And, I'm that stupid! I really thought all best friends had those moments when they stare at you, and- and-" Now, you weren't the only one with wet eyes and cheeks. "And I just feel like looking at you and being with you just makes me better. It makes me a better person, or something, and it makes me feel like... Like I'll never get hurt again. And even if I do get hurt, I know it's you I want to be there. I know that whenever something bad happens to you, or when you feel like crying or when you're happy or angry or anything that I want to be the one who gets to be by your side. When I look at you, all I want is to love you. To love all your pain away."

"You really mean that?"

"Yes! God, I love you." You didn't notice how it happened, but Jungkook's arms became a shield around you. Inside his arms you were indestructible. Your hands pressed against his cheeks, memorizing the plush, smooth skin. The world could hurl all the fire and ice it had, but it wouldn’t matter. "___, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sorry that in that period, I hurt you. Please, forgive me. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Of course, I forgive you. I... I can't believe this." Hearing everything you always wanted from him was drastically different when it was actually unfolding. It was a million times more than any hope or dream you used as a salve for your longing. It was everything.

"Maybe it took so long because I was afraid. Because the idea of loving you was something I wasn't ready for. Even though I did love you, God, who was I to take on something as fragile and crucial as loving you. I know I probably would have messed it up. And, fuck, maybe I'm messing it up right now. But I just needed it to be perfect. I needed loving you to be perfect because I don't want to give you anything less than that."

"You were always enough for me, Jungkook. More than enough. You were and are everything to me" His arms that pressed you further into him expressed how happy that made him. 

"But I'm not perfect yet. I might mess up... A lot. No, I'll definitely mess up. I don't know if I can offer you perfect yet. But I do know that through everything I have never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you."

"Jungkook... I don't know what to say." Your thumb grazed a falling tear from his face. Jungkook had not cried often in front of you; and you could tally up the amount of times he had on your fingers alone. But when he did, it was still as beautiful as when he was smiling or laughing or even scowling.

"You could say you love me back." You did. You loved him, his smile that was currently on a mission to melt your heart, his arms that carried both the good and bad parts of you, his wit that you always relished in. All the reasons to love him were an endless flowing river. If you were lucky enough, you would catch a glimpse of each beautiful current and be able to give name to the gravity that pulled you into him.

"I love you too, you idiot." The last word caught in your throat because your lips were being kissed instead.

His lips. Warm and exciting, allotting your being with an infinite devotion of his. And it was more than you could have ever hoped for.

It felt like fire. Like a grove of candles encapsulating the origin of heat. You and Jungkook, holding each other so close, you could have become one. Hot and all-consuming of anything in its path. If one stood too close, they would suffer scorching embers that stray from the orange pyres. Seokjin, Irene, and any other unassuming casualty that had the misfortune of stepping between the two of you, harboring the burn scars to remind them of what fumed from their interference.

Every element concocting between you and him was that of a bright flame, cremating pure metals and wet woods and thick forests alike.

You were in his home. His arms and lips and hands told you it was your home as well. All that time spent wondering why you could never slip inside before was never because he didn't want to let you in. And the thing is, you never thought to knock until now. You sat outside in a silenced hope that he would voluntarily open that door for you. But unknown to you, Jungkook seemed to be waiting as well. Waiting in a large room with empty spaces where you belonged and where he kept reserved for your residence alone.

He waited even when he wasn't quite sure of who he was waiting for, or if you would ever actually spill your warmth into his home. He waited until his fingers turned to ice and his eyes fell to exhaustion, for you to walk inside.

"So, you're like my boyfriend now?" Your voice brushed against his smiling lips.

"Yeah, your boyfriend, or whatever."

"You know this means you have to top next year's friendiversary. And I mean, all these candles? That's gonna be tough." It could have counted as sensory overload, the feeling of his palms flush against your back, the tip of his nose grazing yours, the bright array of candles illuminating the room. But you were so, incredibly cold without him that this felt like solace to you.

"When have I ever disappointed you?" Jungkook regretted what came out of his mouth too late to stop himself from saying it.

"Oh, I couldn't count the amount of times on my fingers alone! What about that time you forgot our chains for the tires on our trip to the mountains? We almost died." His eye roll only encouraged you to continue. Maybe, if you were lucky, he'd equip that cute pout whenever he wanted his way. "Or what about when you swore you brought water, but three miles in on our hike you had that look on your face. You know I reminded you to get water and you swore you did. Or what about-"

"Okay! I get it! I fuck up, jeez." He scrunched his nose, his eyes waning into crescents courtesy of that grin of his. You counted the number of wrinkles along the bridge of his nose as you always did, though you had acquired an expertise in the geography of his face. Each line and angle and ridge were now and eternally yours to restudy and marvel. "Hey, uh, almost forgot."

He reached into his front left pocket. "I, um, kept carrying it around thinking I'd see you somewhere. Kinda dumb right?"

"Not dumb." You opened the tiny box, wound the handle until the spring felt tight and you could see the throngs prick the textured wheel, and it was one of those moments where you didn't see a gift in your hand. You simply saw his thought and sentiment manifested as a box of wood that sung a tune.

All the things Jungkook wanted to give you, the sun and the moon and the entire universe were not his to give. So for now, he settled for this music box and there would be a day when he would collect each celestial being and place them right into your hands. Maybe then, he would feel less of a debt for possessing such a love like yours.

"This is... I love it. Thank you, Jungkook." You smiled, but it was motivated in the hopes he would smile back. You thought he deserved that much, at least. And he did.

"Sooooo... Can I tell Seokjin that you're actually in love with me and that he sucks ba-"

"Um, absolutely not!" As always, his crudeness and slight inability to remain mature for too long only wedged you deeper in love.

So, terribly in love. Your state of constant craving for Jeon Jungkook had been left barren. That desolate, solitary province was no longer yours to take residence in.

You had a home now. And you had no need to crave Jungkook anymore. He was right here, holding you.

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

a/n: okay, cry with me.... these two.... such hopeless saps for each other i'm here for it. final destination is simp city... also (spoiler) it is completely canon that irene and seokjin bond over their mutual heartbreaks and get to smitten hehehe. anyway, my loves i hope you enjoyed this finale as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! it was a short but heartfelt journey with these two and i will miss their idiocy sm. thank u for your endless support i love u all!!! <3

[crowtrinkets]

Your Weary Widow Marches

A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.

I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!

—-

The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably

I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society. 

Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander. 

I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.

“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.

“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.

“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.

“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.

“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.

“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.

“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”

“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.

“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.

“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced. 

“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.

“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join. 

“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“

BING

We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.

“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.

“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.

“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo. 

“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.

“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.

“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.

“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.

“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.

“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.

“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song. 

“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.

“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.

“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick. 

“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.

That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.

“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.

“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.

“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.

 I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time. 

The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.

“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.

“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child. 

“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.

“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.

“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.

“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.

“You’re emo now,”

[xiaophobic]

hi! what’s your song that makes you forget about life for a bit? (in a good way!) you can explain why or name multiple songs if you’d like :D

OHMYGOSH I SAW LIKE THREE PEOPLE ANSWER THIS AND I WAS LIKE AHHH THATS SO COOL I WANNA DO IT AND YOU CAME TO ME TOO!!! I LOVE MUSIC SOSO MUCH THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME JOIN :] I GOT YOU RN <333

jump up, superstar! — song from mario odyssey !!! OHMYGOSH I JUST LOVE THIS SONGGG like it makes me feel like i’m in a video game and i can have a little 8-bit walk and everything is pixelated and fun and it makes me really really happy :DD

good days — by sza !!! the entire song feels like it was dipped in pixie dust and then sealed off with fuckin selenite ESPECIALLY THE ENDING BREAKDOWN where it goes always in my mind, always in my mind mind UGH makes me feel like i’m floating

let’s groove — by earth, wind & fire !!! if i’m being 100% honest with you…… it is because of that one fnaf remix that someone made OKAY LISTEN obviously i’m cultured like i love earth, wind & fire my momma wouldn’t let me rest if i ever played just one of their songs under her roof BUT this specific song just does it for me every single time <3

light my love — by greta van fleet !!! ANYTHING BY GRETA VAN FLEET HONESTLY BUT OHMYGOD THIS FUCKING SONG shit feels like i’m literally flying like this is the song that would play should i ever grow wings

the divine damsel of devastation — by uhh hoyoverse !!! but i’m pretty sure the name of the opera singer is yang yang SHE DID SO BEAUTIFULLY LIKE IM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THIS SONG IS ONE OF THE MOST LIFE ALTERING SOUNDS IVE EVER HEARD there’s this one specific part after her speaking segment with the drums that gets me jumping every SINGLE TIME i love this song with everything and it just reminds me why i love genshin so much

anything you want & honeypie — by jawny !!! THE FIRST LINK TO ANYTHING YOU WANT IS THIS ANIMATION FROM TIKTOK AND OHMYGOD i love it so much and i love jawny he’s just such a cool dude :] his songs feel like dancing around your kitchen and making really bad food but it just feels soso good IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE

home — by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros !!! one of those songs that make you nostalgic for something you’ve never had and i always love that feeling <3 my ex said that this song is what it felt like to be in love with me and after we broke up i couldn’t listen to it for a while BUT i’m learning to find joy in the not so joyous things and the memory of love is one of those :D

THOSE ARE ALL THE ONES I CAN THINK OF RN!!!