#im sleepy while writing this

[lavenderleahy]

Im sorry to bother you but I saw your tags in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/lavenderleahy/767005666786279424 and had to say YES. You get it! I agree! I have thought this, but did not want to say it because I did not want it to be true. It is definitely slanted towards Buck does not feel as strongly as Tommy, based on 8x06 (and a reasonable reading in keeping with the rest of the text).

My take on this is that Tommy has been keeping a wall up. He’s the Hot Pilot, the cool aloof guy! And that’s great, they get along, but it’s hard to fall in love, truly in love, with a cardboard cutout. It makes sense that Tommy would want to protect himself, especially if he sees their unequal feelings. So the break-up isn’t out of nowhere and in fact this would be ideal and soooo ripe for meaty storytelling and discerning character work but—

I think the show is going to lean into that, and Buck is going to get over it (quickly? Idk) because he’ll be painted as never that invested (they might let us have a yet). And I have other problems with the writing, but also I t’s just not as interesting to see “oh yeah we dated and it was… fine. Cool dude.” It will be smothering a flickering ember. I hate it !!! They used 8x05 to make it hurt? Give us some follow through!

Sorry! Your tags are so right, Buck’s not head over heels, and I wanted to say yeah, that might be my reading too. I just can’t stop thinking about these guys.

(You can ignore this, I thank your inbox for indulging me)

You're not a bother at all! Hop into my inbox any time.

(The post in question)

We are in total agreement. I hate to say it but I am not confident that Buck was as invested in the relationship as Tommy was, and I think there are signs that point to that! I feel like we as a bucktommy fandom got so caught up in defending tommy against the accusations of "lack of development" (both as a character and in the bucktommy relationship) that we didn't realize that maybe there was some lack of development on buck's side of the relationship.

While not telling us, I do think that 911 showed us that Tommy is no longer the hateful person he was when he started out at the 118. We can see this in his interactions with Hen and Chimney (in the "begins" episodes) and how Bobby approves of him in s7.

I also think the show made a point to demonstrate how much Tommy adored Buck. He thinks Buck is adorable and smoking hot, he looks at him adoringly, he visits him and other members of the 118 in the hospital, and he shows up for Buck when he needs him. Unfortunately we don't really see Buck prioritize Tommy in this way...? So I do think the haters were right to a point, the show did not develop the bucktommy relationship, at least on buck's side, very well.

My thoughts on this have very much been inspired/jumpstarted by mel's @kinardsevan post and follow-up. So definitely read those if you haven't yet!

I'm also exploring this idea in a fix-it fic (I'll put a little snippet below the cut). I would love Buck and Tommy to work (in canon would be nice! But especially in my brain where I play with them like dolls), but they have some hurdles to overcome. I have no idea where the show is going to take this, and i don't have high hopes (realistically? They'll probably drop it), but i am loving that no matter what we as a fandom get to make sure they end up back together.

Thank you for bombarding me with this ask!! This is what fandom is for. 💜

Tommy scrubs his hands over his face. “I didn’t say that! I said–. Look. You said Abby was the most transformative relationship of your life.”

“Until now.”

“Until now. But what exactly has our relationship transformed in you? That you’re bi? You didn’t need me for that.”

“Tommy, when you kissed me, it changed everything for me!”

“Evan. You’re missing the point.”

[robinfollies]

smth smth arthur gets sleepy when it’s cold…

[crimeronan]

It takes some time to find the inner Luz.

The rooms they walk into clearly housed memories, once, but the bookshelves and the walls are now blackened. The hallways of the castle are cold and empty, devoid of statues and tapestries, lacking places to hide.

Hunter thinks she must be hiding, though. He finally pushes on a loose brick in a place he recognizes, opening a secret passageway they discovered as kids.

And there she is.

She's swapped her royal garb for the loose-fitting t-shirts and jeans of the human realm. But what Hunter notices first are the burns.

You're hurt.

Then the shape of the injuries resolves: not just random patches of black char and red-blistered skin.

Handprints.

Fingers clamped around her wrist. The shape of a palm against her upper arm, where he must have dragged her through the portal. A thumbprint on her throat, blisters on the side of her neck, where he must have grabbed her when she fought back. When she looks up, Hunter sees a burn on her jaw, matching his own oldest scar, where Belos must have struck her.

Fury and guilt and pain rise in him. He tastes acid in the back of his throat.

But Luz isn't afraid of him. Her initial startled flinch relaxes almost immediately into familiarity. She pushes herself to her feet, leaning against the stone for support, and reaches out.

Hunter hesitates. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Luz says, touching his cheek. "You couldn't. Please. Help me."

[exmotranny]

the green carpet scratches at your pink heels. bile rises in your throat.

they talk about womanhood- but it’s not quite right. there is the pink and compliments and talk of boys

i am a beloved daughter

but there is also something else. it digs at your flesh, it feasts on your skin. your mother motions at your chest, bigger than hers and you're not even done growing yet! how lucky.

of heavenly parents

you pray to a man every night, finish it in another’s name. on your knees. you were sent a shady link as a kid. the woman on her knees, tears streaming out of her eyes, i don't want this, she said

with a divine nature and eternal destiny

blood on the inside of your underwear. you were told this meant you were a woman now. you were ten years old. what the fuck did you know about being a woman? your mom said you weren’t allowed to touch between your legs, but it's normal to want to. you didn't know what that meant, either.

as a disciple of jesus christ,

you wanted to be desired. you daydreamed of being the trophy for boys around you, of claiming that role one day as a wife. you came from a long line of women married young. you don’t know their names, but you were taught about their husbands in church.

i strive to become like him.

pressing your breasts down as much as possible, trying to give the illusion of a flat chest. badly cropped jpgs of jesus photoshopped to have top surgery scars are the secret currency you pay to get past the hours of church. you hold them like diamonds.

i seek and act upon personal revelation

you thought god was talking to you. you almost threw away everything you owned. you thought you were a prophet. total fuckin’ ego death! holy shit! god speaks through me!

and minister to others in his holy name

and then the next morning. when your faith crashed, when moroni abandoned you, did it feel unreal to you too, joseph?

i will stand as a witness of god

oh god, no. please. i don’t know what’s real anymore.

at all times

leg hair peeking from under your pretty sunday dress. they all stare. you ignore them and open up to D&C 132.

and in all things

emma, did you love him to the end? i don’t think you wanted him. did you watch as he married a 14 year old? did you tell him you burned the commandment? did you cry when he died for the church that he loved more than he loved you?

and in all places.

blood on the floor of carthage jail. this martyr will be remembered forever. do they talk about you, emma? or are you just joseph’s wife?

as i strive to qualify for exaltation,

when i marry, my husband will be a god, and i shall cleave onto him. when i marry, i will go to his universe and bear more of his children.

i cherish the gift of repentance

heads bowed low as the sacrament is passed. my hands clutch onto the bottom of my skirt. pleasure outside celestial marriage is forbidden. i apologize for loving the wrong way.

and seek to improve each day

i tried to kill myself, last time i got home from girl’s camp. i got home and cried and found the pills and shoved them into my mouth until i cried more and more until i was gagging. i hunched over the toilet. my hands on the grimy floor.

with faith, i will

forced to sing in front of the congregation. my head spun from anxiety. my stomach turned with nausea.

strengthen my home and family,

loving wife beautiful kids loyal husband church once a week work weekdays weekend mom monthly round on the business end of his cock forever and the vomit threatens to make an appearance.

make and keep sacred covenants,

an old man is in a room alone with me. he asks me if i masturbate.

and receive the ordinances and blessings

i tell the man no. i receive a card so i can be ordained.

of the holy temple.

that's just how it goes, isn't it?

all around are paintings of god and jesus. we learned about heavenly mother. why don’t i see her in paintings? did god have plural marriages? did heavenly mother make us? why don’t we pray to her? did she watch god marry a 14 year old? did she cover her eyes? when she saw blood on her underwear, was she told she was a woman? did she touch between her legs? did she ever believe herself better than god? does she cry when she cant talk to us? why do i cry? was heavenly mother scared of singing in public and did she press her chest flat and did she cry when god forced himself into her mouth? did she burn his doctrine too?

i am given flowers on mother’s day. i will be one eventually, after all. and i vomit in the church bathroom quietly like the perfect woman i am supposed to be.

[sallymew4]

finally drew something at least somewhat legit for the pre-mob terumob ive been churning out recently

i like them .i think theyre silly :)

vv bonuses vv

[apocalyptic-byler]

LETTERGATE FIC COMING LATER TODAY WHO CHEERED

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[alchemiclee]

other people can ship what they want, but I will only ship aventurine gay and never a straight ship. the dynamic of straight relationships/ships is never balanced (societies fault mostly) and that boy sure needs some balance. if you ignore the het-ifying of gay relationships with the whole pointless top/bottom debate, gay relationships are more equal by nature. aven needs someone in his life who is his equal.

for example, in the story it was pointed out the footprints were side by side when he was walking with ratio. therefore ratio sees him as his equal. and i'm sure aven would feel more at ease with him if he wasn't dealing with everything he was atm. aven is such an unbalanced character fighting against an eternal power struggle of everyone towering above him, trying to beat his luck, and he's trying to get above for once. then ratio appears, treating him as an equal, balancing him. even if you dont see it as a ship/see it as a platonic ship/nonromantic/friends you still have to admit how good their dynamic is.

[disclaimer edit: "by nature" I mean society's and most individual peoples nature. nature not meaning "science" but the built in habit that's existed in society and taught to people for millenia and people treat as "fact" (when it's not tbh) sorry for confusion! dont know how to explain it well! i was half asleep when i made this post idk what i was trying to say exaclty but it upset someome so maybe delete later]

[hikarry]

Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:

I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment

I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month

To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin

How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself

I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart

So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

[baeshijima]

lord give me strength to finish this haitham piece...

pls.... ugly cries....

[solivagantingrebel]

(tapping the mic with my finger as I'm presenting my fic to the world wide web) I will once again make them fall asleep in each other's arms. Thank you for continued support and understanding. This will happen again. I will never stop.

[scionshtola]

i wish i had somewhere to write that was not my bed

[danketsuround]

sunday six

another monday sunday six! (barely monday cause it's 2am right now and a little earthquake woke me up). i was tagged by @overdevelopedglasses this week, thank you! i saw some of you already posted so i will tag two other usual suspects @c-cw-f-saeko and @passthroughtime and anyone else who wants to share!

i was busy this long weekend TT but i'll share what i have written since last sunday six :)

(lost judgement spoilers) this is a continuation of the post-LJ au with kuwana and mitsuru, who are living together in ehime after reiko's arrest. you can read more of it in my sunday six or fic tag!

“I used to swim!” Mitsuru cries with a mouthful of fabric.

Kuwana hangs over him like wet laundry. "Things change," he offers simply.

His words stain him with sympathy over consolation. He states it like a fact, though, Mitsuru's little heart remained the same--perhaps nostalgic for a time when he could trip over his own feet. He sobs, grieving a life he fantasized about having. Marriage, children, retirement by the beach, swimming with no destination--those impossible things used to be important to Kuwana, too. But they witnessed a miracle, the two of them, and it was held in the atom-small grasp between their hands. Crying--a sure-fire sign of a natural, thinking life--had returned the strength to his voice. Mitsuru is alive. The more he cried the more alive he must have felt. The nerves in his hands could feel and know the shapes in front of him. Kuwana wipes his tears and snot again, and the shape of Mitsuru's face prints itself on the rind of his sweatshirt sleeve. He would hang it dry in the evening, and the print would disappear.

"It's my fault," Mitsuru whimpers quietly. "I can't swim. It's my fault."

Kuwana stands up and extends his reach, releasing Mitsuru’s misty red hands in favor of a spot under his arms. “You can still swim,” he says.

“No,” he musters childishly.

"Here. It’s okay. It’s okay, let’s go." He lifts. Mitsuru slumps forward a bit, then all the way. “Let’s go swimming.”

[kowaindar0u]

//

[ahaura]

hiiiiiiiiiii

[spideyhexx]

sorry didn’t answer more asks my head started hurting😔😔😔also!!! Am gonna be mia for some time tomorrow night but will be back later at night🫶