#im simply explaining why I don’t like those theories and why they make no sense to me personally

[sealer-of-wenkamui]

Why is everyone talking about Miquella’s morality suddenly…? Personally I think he’s more or less a good person that’s sometimes willing to go to extremes for his causes especially if it’s for Malenia. And her being his blade, he’s involved in her actions as well.

Pure evil Miquella theories irritate me because they always come across as people just trying to find some excuse to avoid the very heavy implications that Mohg is sexually abusing him (or at the very least, violating his body in a way that mirrors it, it seems to be both if you ask me). And I think the way it shows how Mohg tries to gain the love he desires by force, regardless of Miquella’s will is an important part of his character. I love MohgMiq! But specifically as something purely one-sided, nonconsensual, and abusive, so it takes away the whole appeal of them to me too.

I don’t think it makes sense for Miquella to want any of that too, I mean he raised the Haligtree from a sapling with his blood, and his embedding himself in it makes it seem like he fed it with his whole body too, why ruin that whole plan by having his body removed from it? And his needles are for countering outer gods, and he also seems to be abandoning his fate as an Empyrean (discarding his great rune- the great rune of the unborn seems very similar to Malenia’s so I suspect it to be his, also the description is that it’s one of an unborn demigod which given his eternal childhood and then cocooning himself also matches. Amber starlight as well seems to be his fate.) I don’t think he wants to be a god, and especially since it’s entirely for someone else’s plan. It’s the Mohgwyn dynasty, for an outer god dear to Mohg, not anything for Miquella. And now that may be preventing him from ever hatching even at Mohgwyn, either from willful defiance, lack of the rune perfecting rebirth, or both. The oracles aren’t there either, they’re at the tree, where Malenia did indeed become a god, not Miquella.

Even if he was super manipulative and “evil” I don’t think it would magically save him from being abused, anyone can be a victim. Him being a victim tells us nothing about what he’s like as a person.

[dontexpectmuch]

part 4 - [Lost in Madrid]

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author note; btw for those who dont know me. im a whore for angsty fics w no happy ending 🤭 just for ur information hehehehe,, hope you enjoy this part, mwah mwah

- did not proofread!

series.masterlist

-

shit, you should have gone to the toilet one last time before leaving, your nerves messing with your stomach in an uncomfortable way. your hands feel clammy, getting warmer the longer you hold the bouquet of flowers.

you don’t even know why you feel so nervous, it’s not like you’re meeting a friends [yuck] parent for the first time. you try to reason with it by telling yourself that you simply do not want to be annoyed by judes presence in front of his mother [yeah sure], you actually want to meet her.

taking one last breath, trying to stay calm, you knock on the door and put on your best smile you could muster, not wanting to come off as rude.

you hear plates cling and metallic utensils fall down, before the door is opened abruptly by none other than jude himself. he looks out of breath, chest heaving up and down, you note, but he also looks good [too good, yes you admit].

black baggy pants, an oversized grey shirt and a necklace in the middle of his chest on top of it, his face adoring a smile.

“already in love with me?” he greets you, smirking as he leans against the door frame.

you roll your eyes, turning around to just leave. you can’t even take one step as you feel judes hand closing around your upper arm, [unfortunately] halting you movements.

he laughs, pulling you inside and telling you where to put your shoes, “mum’s been cooking all day.” he tells you, making you follow him to the kitchen.

your eyes look around, the apartment is beautiful, you think, nice view over the city from the living room, high ceilings and a homey feeling greeting you as you step into the living room slash kitchen area, the smell of fresh food finding its way to your nose.

denise calls your name as she sees you walk in, drying her hands on her apron to invite you to a hug which you gladly accept.

“these are for you.” you take a step back to get the flowers from judes hands, handing them to his mother who smiles at you widely.

“you didn’t have to, honey!” she lifts them up to her nose, smelling them. “they are wonderful, thank you.”

“just as wonderful as you are, denise.” you genuinely say back, watching her chuckle as she moves back to the kitchen to find a vase.

“just as wonderful as you are.” jude mocks you, his face near your ear to keep it between you guys.

without looking at him, you hit his chest [should’ve been his face], making him choke on his spit.

he coughs roughly, hand on your shoulder to stabilize himself, “dude, that’s mean!”

“you’re mean!” you draw your eyebrows together and decide to move to the kitchen to see if you could help.

however it seems like denise already prepared everything for dinner, the only thing left is to sit down and enjoy it together, which you do.

the room is filled with laughter and conversations about various topics, creating a warm atmosphere. even though you haven’t noticed it so far, the feeling of eating together as a family is truly one thing that you have missed since you’ve been in madrid, filling your heart with a sense of peace. you wouldn’t tell jude about [he would never live that down], but you are quite thankful for meeting him, him granting you this opportunity of feeling familiarity in a foreign country.

“how long until you finish university?” denise asks, taking a sip of her drink.

you swallow your food, “well, after my internship it might take around eight weeks to get the results.” you hum, organizing your thoughts, “afterwards everything goes pretty fast, i would have to hold a presentation, explain and defend my results and own theories. after that i will hopefully graduate.”

her eyes widen, “that’s a lot, no?”

jude speaks up as well, body leaning back against his chair, “that takes so long, no wonder you’ve become a grandma-“

he suddenly yells, almost jumping out of his seat, “ow! guys no need to attack me from both sides!”

“deserved.” you roll your eyes, sweetly smiling at denise who returns the gesture, asking you if you would like to eat some more food.

“yes, please! everything tastes amazing, denise. thank you so much.” you hand her your plate, watching her get up to move to the kitchen.

“my legs hurt.” jude whines from beside you, making you scoff.

“shouldn’t have been so rude, then.”

“how am i supposed to know that i would get attacked from both sides! my legs are very important, y’know!” his voice gets louder, body leaning towards you.

denise comes back, hand your plate back to, “doesn’t mean that you can say rubbish to our guest.” she comes to your aid, smiling at you.

“wow, you two really work against me, eh?”

“yes.” denise and you say at the same time, focusing on the food in front of you.

judes whining is heard every now and then throughout the dinner, however the two of you decide to ignore him and focus on your pleasant conversation. you help her with the dishes afterwards, while jude takes out the trash. [obviously complaining about how he always has to do the hatd work, you continue to ignore him.]

“i heard that you live close-by.” denise continues your conversation as you sit down on the couch in the living room, half empty cup of tea in your hand.

you nod, [wishing wouldn’t have to] “jude told me that you guys live down the street after we met at the grocery store.”

“best thing to ever happen to you.” you hear judes [attra-, annoying!] voice from behind you, his hands now resting on the couchs back behind you.

“mh, sure.”

denise laughs at you two, getting up to put her cup back. you follow suit, also getting ready to leave as you have seen that it has been already two hours since you came. you hug denise, thanking her for the food and kind hospitality, and also telling her to visit you sometime.

jude walks to the front door with you, watching you put on your shoes, “why are you leaving already?”

you pause, looking up, “eh, it’s getting late?”

you finish putting on your shoes, grab your bag and move to open the door. jude does the same, your hands now meeting on the doorknob, making you pause your actions. you quickly pull back, clearing your throat as you watch him open the door for you.

“want me to walk you home?” his voice is low, making the hair on your neck stand up. [because it’s annoying, nothing more.]

you shake your head, stepping outside, “‘m meeting a friend.”

“this late?” he crosses his arms in front of his chest, once again leaning against the doorframe.

frowning, you stem your hands on your hips, “pardon? who are you again?”

“your bestest best friend?” jude copies your attitude, smirking as he sees your eyes roll.

“‘m going.” your start to walk away, putting an end to this [ridiculous] conversation.

“text me when you’re home! and don’t stay out for too long!” he calls after you.

“yes, mom!” you call back, not bothering to turn around to look at his [handso-, no, stupid] face.

-

“but what is so wrong of being friends with him?” amanda asks, setting her glass of wine down.

music is heard through the box that was standing on the coffee table, filling the room quietly. the moon shines through the windows, amandas chain led-lights dimmed down, a comfortable vibe hovering within the room.

you sigh, leaning your head back with your eyes closed. fuck, you don’t even know why you’re so against it.

“i just,” you try to gather your thoughts, taking a sip from the glass, “i won’t be here for long, y’know? i don’t want to bond with someone like that only to never see them ever again.”

amanda chuckles, patting your knee softly, “mija, why wouldn’t you guys see each other again? that doesn’t make sense.”

“it does!” you try to defend yourself, sitting up, “i have to focus on my studies, afterwards get a job. i won’t be able to meet him in madrid whenever i miss him.”

“so you admit that you like him?” she teases you, nudging your foot with hers.

you groan, [sadly] admitting that you actually grew to enjoy his presence in the past month.

“i mean, he is annoying, loud, rude and calls me grandma, pushes me away to cheat when we race, throws his sweaty towel at me, and water too, and he-“

amanda cuts you off, telling you to get to the point.

“he, i don’t even know, he is actually fun to be around. being friends with him, getting used to his presence isn’t hard, it almost came naturally.” you explain, pulling your knees to your chest to rest your chin on them.

“but why be so upset about something that hasn’t happened yet?” amanda asks, sipping on her wine. her eyes are on you, and even though it’s the rooms lights are dimmed, you can still see the warmth seep through them, a sense of comfort washing over you.

“but it will happen, ‘manda.” you know that you are being unnecessarily pessimistic, but you can’t help it. “i don’t want to get attached only for it to break my heart into pieces.”

she sighs, “what will you do then?”

you shrug, not so sure yourself. you could create a certain distance between you and him, trying to lose some attachment that you [unfortunately, you would never tell him] have. but that wouldn’t be fair to jude, either. he didn’t to anything wrong. how would you explain that to him?

‘hey, i actually quite like being around you and being friends with you, but i don’t want to get used to you because i know that it will break my heart, yeah, so, bye!’? you scoff at this thought, head starting to hurt as you try to come up with different explanations.

amada gets up to go to the bathroom, hand on your shoulder as a sign of comfort as she passes by.

now that you are alone, you put your forehead against your knees, deeply exhaling. the music in the background helps as a distraction from your thoughts, though this sound of it gets interrupted by your phone. a new notification. you don’t bother to check who it is - your heart starts to beat fast as you think of someone who it might be. but you don’t lift your head, wanting to be left alone during your [pitiful] situation.

you have never had this problem before. you loved to meet people whenever you travel, creating memories with them and cherishing those whenever you think about it. this situation, everything about jude is just weird, you don’t know [or do you?] why he is such a big concern of yours, as if you actually are the moon, turning i orbits around its sun, in this case, jude. you should be friends with him, enjoy the time the two of you have left and then leave madrid, letting him be a new, nice memory.

“still thinking ’bout it?” amandas voice pulls you out of your thoughts, eyes now focusing on her.

you nod, sighing. it seems like it is the only thing left to do for you, sighing and hopelessly waiting around, though you are not sure for what exactly.

“do you like him?” she asks, filling her glass with some more wine before taking a sip.

“well, yeah. i think we’re friends.” you reply, feeling weird [like betraying yourself] when actually admitting that you think of jude as a friend.

she laughs, shaking her head, “no, no, i meant like, do you like like him?”

“no!” you tell her [yeah sure], quite offended that she would think that you would fall for someone like jude [you would].

“then why are you so sad about it?”

“don’t know, don’t wanna talk about it, please.” you lay down on the couch, looking up the ceiling.

your phone rings again, this time thrice in a row. you sigh while rolling your eyes, lazily lifting it up to look at who has been bothering you for the last few minutes.

NEW NOTIFICATION

[from; Jude Bellingham]: four new messages.

you immediately sit up, eyes wide. fuck, why is he texting you right now? you don’t have the nerve to talk to him right now [you always do].

“is it him?” amanda asks, looking up from her won phones display, smirking.

“yeah.” you mumble, unsure of what to do. you shouldn’t let him wait, should you? that’s not very nice, maybe it’s an emergency?

amanda speaks up again, “well, answer him, chica! why the hesitation?”

“don’t know.” you shrug, laying down again.

you hear amanda sigh, but she doesn’t comment on anything anymore, seemingly giving up on the situation. you take a deep breath while unlocking your phone, heart beating against your chest.

[from; Jude Bellingham]: r u home yet?

[from; Jude Bellingham]: dk what u did but mum still talks abt u

[from; Jude Bellingham]: u ok?? wya?

[from; Jude Bellingham]: txt me when ur home

putting your phone back down, you sigh, head between your hands. you don’t understand why his texts make you feel so, how should you describe it, anxious? he doesn’t do anything wrong, he is just trying to be a good friend, you should appreciate it instead of panicking.

groaning, you get up, taking your now empty glass to put it into the dishwasher in amandas kitchen.

“you leavin’?” amanda asks you, still seated on the couch, her head turned towards you.

you nod, tiredly rubbing your eyes as you walk back to kiss her cheek as a goodbye, “thank you for today.”

she smiles, her hand resting in your cheek in a comforting manner, “text me when you’re home, ‘kay?”

“‘kay.”

you put on your shoes, tell her goodbye one last tome before leaving her home, the soft breeze of the night welcoming you. it isn’t cold, you don’t have to wear a jacket, but somehow you can’t help but cross your arms as you begin to walk home. the night is still young, you hear people shouting and talking amongst themselves down the street, music accompanying their conversations.

the walk back doesn’t take long, you arrive just about fifteen minutes later as you open the door to the building, sighing as you see the stairs in front of you.

-

[to; Jude Bellingham]: just arrived home

[to; Jude Bellingham]: what can i say, moms like me :)

you lay down in your bed, night routine done and ready to sleep. you try to concentrate on your breathing, laying still on your back as a contrast to the chaos going on in your head, not letting you rest properly.

“tsk,” you try to lay on your left side, back now facing your phone on the nightstand, “stupid stuff.”

as soon as you hear your phone vibrate you immediately turn around, the brightness of your display hurting your eyes.

[from; Jude Bellingham]: cool cool

you move to type an answer, though a new message from him comes in,

[from; Jude Bellingham]: were u w dk what his name was?

rolling your eyes, you can’t help but smile at his [cu-, stupid] text.

[to; Jude Bellingham]: his name is lorenzo

[from; Jude Bellingham]: basic ass name

[to; Jude Bellingham]: no i was at amandas

[from; Jude Bellingham]: shouldn’t u be at sleep rn? grandmas should go to bed early

oh you can practically hear jude giggling at his own text, him finding joy in reminding you that you are older than him. you catch yourself stupidly smiling at his text and clear your throat, sitting up properly before texting back.

[to; Jude Bellingham]: was abt to but u texted me

[from; Jude Bellingham]: okok sry

[from; Jude Bellingham]: good night

[from; Jude Bellingham]: sweet dreams (of me)

[to; Jude Bellingham]: id rather choke

[to; Jude Bellingham]: good night :)

fuck.

———————————————————

“guys, please don’t forget to finish writing your team report for next week, ask for help if you need to, please.” you remind your students as they walk out of the room, smiling your way as they tell you goodbye.

you turn around to pack your own things, a knock on the door catching your attention.

“hola, señorita.” lorenzo greets you, smile wide and cheeks rosy, probably from the heat outside.

he walks up to you, kissing your cheek as a greeting before leaning against your desk, watching you as you continue to pack your bag.

“how can i help you, señor?” you say, happy to see your friend.

it has been a while since you last saw him, getting caught up in work and writing your thesis, and well, other people.

“are we walking home today?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, his eyes staring at yours.

“you see-“

“ah! there you are!” judes voice appears by the door, cutting you off.

you roll your eyes, trying to fight of a smile. he always greets you loudly when he picks you up to walk to the open field together, comfortable banter hovering between you two on tour walk there.

“i have a practical session afterwards, sorry.” you point towards jude, who is still standing by the door, eyes focusing on the guy next to you.

poor lorenzo, you think, he didn’t do anything wrong, yet jude always finds way to hate on him, comparing the two of them. [he somehow is always the better one]

“i see.” lorenzo looks at jude, then he turns back to you, kissing you on the cheek as a goodbye before leaving the room.

jude walks inside, rolling his eyes as he points at the direction lorenzo went, “what is his problem?”

your eyebrows pull together, “eh, nothing?”

you sling your bag on your shoulder, walking out of the room with jude following you, “think you gonna score today?”

jude laughs, scratching his cheek, “i will, if you stop directing your negativity towards me.”

offended, you look up at him, walking through the tunnel that leads to the field, “what’s that supposed to mean? i don’t even have the time to look at you.” [that’s a lie, you catch yourself following him around the field more than you’d like to admit]

“you should, though, i am very exciting to watch.” jude blinks - in his case winks - down at you, putting his bag down next to your seat.

you hum, not wanting to ket him now that he’s right, taking a seat on the bench as you pull out your writing block and pencil from your bag.

señor lagarde yells at jude from the field, telling him to get moving. jude shouts out that he is coming and gets moving, hitting your foot with his one last time as he leaves.

-

the suns heat makes you feel dizzy, and you wish that you would have taken your water bottle with you, instead of relying on the water bottles at the center. your shoes feel tight, your dress makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge and your hair isn’t looking as good as you wish it did.

“we should definitely cook together like, at least once.” jude throws in as the two of you walk past a restaurant.

you don’t register what jude says, “yeah, sure.”

“wait, really?” his voice sounds surprised at your agreement, and suddenly you feel awake, the feeling of having said something that you might regret sinking in.

“uh, wait, what did you say?”

“nah,” jude shakes his head, mischievously smiling at you, “can’t take it back now.”

“jude,” you whine, hating yourself for giving him such power, “c’mon dude, i’m tired.”

“don’t care.”

you come to a halt in front of the apartment building, getting ready to say goodbye to him, but he speaks up again, sounding too excited for your liking.

“let’s do it now, i’m ready.”

fuck, did you actually agree to sleep with him? is this why he won’t tell you?

nervously, you back off, “listen jude, i didn’t mean it, i mean yeah, you’re nice, but i really don’t want to-“

“c’mon, cooking together is actually really cool, i’m not that bad, ask mum.”

you feel relief wash over you, like a ton has been lifted up from your shoulders. suddenly, the grass looks greener, the birds chirp sweeter, the sky looks cleaner, today is such a nice day, you note, everything is just amazing-

“hello?” jude flicks your forehead, pulling you out of your daydreams as you cover your forehead with your hand, offended by his actions.

“dude!”

“let’s go, c’mon!” he tells you once more. you decide to give him, otherwise he won’t stop annoying you.

you open the door and the two of you walk up, jude tries to make you trip once, you alap the back of his head, but you safely arrive at your apartment door. opening it, you take of your shoes, you move to the kitchen while jude goes to the bathroom. looking through your fridge, you take out a few ingredients to cook some pasta with vegetables, simple but tasty.

you wait for jude to come back before you also go to the bathroom to freshen up, then you quickly get changed into something more comfortable.

“where’s your-“ jude walks into your room as you are in the middle of putting on your shirt, stopping mid sentence. “oh, fuck.” he shuts the door fast, an awkward apology leaving his mouth.

quickly putting on the shirt and taking a deep breath, you walk out the room to find jude awkwardly standing next to your door, his hands placed in front of him.

“‘m genuinely sorry, dude, like, i should have knocked.” he apologizes once more, his behavior making you smile. [because he looks stupid, not cute.]

“it’s fine, nothing to worry about.” you try to lift the mood by bumping your hips against his, winning a smile.

you walk back to the kitchen and start to give him the instructions to prepare the vegetables, yourself focusing on the sauce and the pasta.

it is like athletes getting in ‘the zone’, jude and you entirely focusing on your tasks at hand. you wanted to put on some music, but somehow the thought falls short, now the sound of you two working and moving around the kitchen filling the room. it’s nice, you don’t have the need to fill in the silence with small talk, since it doesn’t make you feel awkward. you hear jude hum the melody of a song and decide to listen to that, though it sounds rough.

“this big enough?” judes voice us soft, he moves next to you to show you the size of the tomato he cut, his body’s heat closing around you, relaxing at his closeness.

“yeah, just make sure that it doesn’t get too small.” you tell him, still stirring the sauce.

“yes, chef.” he salutes, continuing to cut up the vegetables.

everything goes on really well, the pasta looks great, the sauce tastes good and the vegetables are done. you plate the food and ask jude to take them to the table, which he does. as he comes back to put a dirty knife into the sink, you feel his big hand on the small of your back.

only when he moves back to the table you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, your heart threatening to jump out of your chest.

without further ado, you sit down around the table, “buen provecho.”

“you too.” jude immediately puts some of it into his mouth, groaning [literally moaning] at its taste.

though you agree with him that it tastes good, you don’t moan, but laugh at jude for shoving the food in to his mouth.

“the food won’t run away, y’know.” your teasing makes him look up from his plate, like a deer caught in the middle of the road.

“it’s so good.” his cheeks are full of food, however his sentence comes out clear.

a laugh escapes from your lips, somehow this entire situation is just funny to you. if someone would’ve told you two months ago that you would cook and eat dinner with jude bellingham during your internship, you’d pay their therapy from your own money. but now, look after you. here you are, eating some delicious pasta, the sun setting in the background and jude calling your name over and over again because you won’t listen to him. [you leaned how to ignore him]

“yes, jude?” you decide to answer him, his voice starting to irritate your ears.

“what are we gonna eat first dessert?”

“you leaving will be my dessert.” you sarcastically smile at him.

jude slumps back against his chair, exaggerated sigh leaving his mouth, “you were supposed to say ‘you’”

“tsk, you? where are you a dessert?” you can already feel your eye start to twitch, knowing that he will annoy you until you do as he says.

clapping his hands once, jude laughs, leaning forward, “people on the internet have other opinions, though.”

“great.”

you get up to clean your plate, not bothering to continue this [stupid] conversation.

jude appears next to you as you rinse your glass, plate at hand, “soo, ice cream?”

-

“don’t you miss your family?” judes side profile is highlighted by the moonshine, the many stars in his eyes now present in the deep blue sky.

though it is still warm outside, you have a thin blanket draped over your shoulders, ice cream bowl sits empty on the little table between jude and yourself.

“don’t you miss leaving me alone.” you respond, bith of you aware that you don’t actually mean it. [you do, you’re really tired and want to sleep].

“answer me, jalapeño.”

you scoff, turning your head to look at him, “that’s a stupid name.”

he turns to look at you as well, sleepy smile on his lips, “suits you, though.”

“no.”

“answer my question.”

you take a second to think, “well, yeah, i guess.”

“you guess?” judes eyes follow you as you get up to lean against the rail on the small balcony, eyes looking down at the street.

you hear him get up as well, his body now next to yours, its heat slowly coming your way. you have to fight the urge to lean against him, not wanting to cross any boundaries.

“i do, i really miss my mum and my nephew,” you begin, the thought of your two year old nephew making you smile, “but i also love it here. i think i’ll even sadder to leave madrid than i was when i left home.”

jude hums in understanding, softly bumping his body against yours, “it’s because of me, right? i’m just so amazing, i’d miss me too.”

“tsk, yeah sure.” [it’s a lie]

the sound of a car passing by fills the silence between you, and you feel judes body slowly lean against yours, staying there. you don’t bother telling him to move away [you don’t want to], your body starts to tingle, warmth spreading through it. even though the night is calm, your mind is anything but that, different scenarios passing through your mind as you try to concentrate on anything but judes body. you feel his finger touching yours, slowly moving up your arm. you feel the hair on your neck stand up, heart rate picking up and each breath like its fueling the fire inside of you. you know he feels it, too, his finger is shaking as it moves up to your back, hand now caressing your neck.

you turn to look at jude, he does the same, it feels oh so slow as you two near each other, his eyes moving from your eyes down to your lips and back up, you feel it down to your feet, the tingling now numbing all of your senses. jude leans down, your faces now centimeters apart as he closes his eyes. you tilt your head to the side, feeling his breath on your skin as you also close your eyes.

the moon slowly disappears between you two, and you move to close the gap until -

[aalyre]

okay listen i have a crimson rivers analysis,,

basically, i noticed something between James’ and Reg’s behavior when promising not to volunteer for e/o and the outcome of the reaping

First of all I wanna go back on a few character traits of both James and Regulus:

James is someone who is very right and very honest and, as zar said, he really values being a good person and being honest is part of this. promises matter to him on a high level because it is directly linked to honesty and honesty is directly linked to good and he needs to be good. He also needs to see good in others (ex: Peter)

Now reg isn’t that attached to the idea of being good and he doesn’t even believe himself to be which makes lying way easier as well as way more natural for him. He’s also spent a good part of his life playing pretend and ig we could say he’s gotten used to the feeling of lying by now, at least a bit.

My second parallel is their behavior when promising to each other. It’s said in the text that reg has to carve the promise out of James.

It’s pretty explicitly stated that it’s extremely hard for james to promise this to reg and that reg has to fight and insist to get the promise

On the other hand it’s really easy for reg to promise back

Like James just had to ask and he’s like "yeah okay i promise" and ofc it’s hard for him too but James doesn’t have to insist one bit for it. Of course it could be just because regulus knows that it has to go both ways and my whole analysis could be very wrong BUT when I read that passage it really hit me how easy it was one way and how hard it was the other when for james and Sirius, it was hard both ways.

So here’s my theory: as said before promises matter to james and he would never break one without being forced to, hence why it is so complicated to get him to promise. because once he’s said it, he has to keep it. James promised reg not to volunteer and he wouldn’t have, at least not in a planned way. And he believed regulus wouldn’t either because as I’ve said, he needs to see the good in people and he’s only ever been able to see the good in regulus.

For regulus on the other side, it’s fairly simple since he knows he doesn’t mean it. He tells James he knew he would volunteer for him since the rule announcement so he knew at that point too.

It’s also regulus who brought up the topic of "you can’t volunteer for me”

Because he needs James to promise him. He cant have James be in the arena in his stead because then he couldn’t possibly volunteer for him.

What I’m trying to say is that regulus knew James would mean it and wouldn’t break his promise (in a planned way) he knew that if he got the promise he wouldn’t have to worry about James deciding to volunteer for him. He used James’ honestly and how important honesty is for him to get an unreturned promise out of him, and yes he promised too but it was a lie and he knew it. He promised knowing very well he was lying. He used the fact that James couldn’t lie to, in the end, get a promise from him, one that he didn’t have to return simply bc he’s more comfortable with lying.

And don’t get me wrong, i love regulus I adore him and I kinda get why he’d do that because HES IN LOVE AND HE CARES FOR JAMES MORE THAN HE CARES FOR HIMSELF and like yeah ik the feeling BUT i think that also maybe explains a bit of why James is so mad like ik zar said he was so mad bc he felt too much but idk for me it’s not just about the lying or the potentially losing regulus. For me it’s also about having his goodness being used (again) and by one of the people he loves the most, and if he might even not be aware of it bc obv he does feel too much and can’t put his feelings in order, but I think it’s still in there somewhere mixed up with all the rest.

Idk if that makes sense but anyways those were my thoughts on this anyways IT COULD BE 100% WRONG SO ZAR IF YOURE READING THIS AND ALL YOU CAN THINK IS THAT IM GOING WAY TOO FAR, PLEASE PLEASE JUST IGNORE MEEEE ALSO ILY CR IS THE BEST KIND OF PAIN THERE COULD BE AND YEAH

i hope everyone will have/is having/had an absolutely great day. Don’t forget to drink and rest and ily all :33

(Also pls ignore the potential typos and grammar mistakes and yes my first tumblr post is a way too long one)

[afoxyblogger]

#my belief system is im destined to keep coming back to earth until i’ve experienced everything about living#so i want to do as much as i can per life and then i’ll finally be free

bruh bruh bruh brunh

sorry i got stupidly excited reading your tags because i feel this too. i saw a psychic once, right. idk if you believe in that stuff, but this lady spooked me with how accurate she was. i thought i was going to get like some palm reading mumbo jumbo and it was gonna be a fun little experience with my aunt. NO. this woman asks for a metal object i have owned for more than 6 months, so i hand her my cell phone, and she just holds it in her hand and explains to me my past life experiences-- apparently i similarly went through some tough shit in my past life. i was apparently like kidnapped and lived on a boat as a slave of sorts, my aunt was almost pissed at this woman for telling me this bc i was like 15 at the time right. she then said that every day i would look outside on the boat at a particular scenery, before she finished, she asked if i could describe it to her. and i jumped up bc i knew it, i'd seen it in day dreams. it was water, with land in the distance with one tall mountain that always had snowy peaks. and the land like, it was very lush and green, not at all like where i live (desert). and she confirmed this as being Mount Fuji. ANYWAY she said she told me the story of my past life because everything i went through in my past life was a lesson learned, an experience gained, even being kidnapped and kept as a slave, it was something experienced and she said a soul must experience everything before it moves on. depravity, horror, true happiness, joy, etc. and that my soul was particularly young and had not experienced much yet. so that i would likely be reincarnated a few times more or something like that--

and that's all i remember about that thing. i think my aunt went next immediately after that so i wanted to say!! there's possibly some validation(?) to that theory? at least from a psychic in california lol.

sorry for the long message, just got excited to share beliefs with someone haha - Rey (& Grim somewhere)

ur so good lol I’m gonna put my thoughts into a readmore so it doesnt get too long

I’ve never gone to psychics or mediums but mostly it’s because I’m afraid of what they’ll find lol. I had an opportunity at a county fair once and realized I didn’t really want to find out 😅

i’ve also never touched holy water because I was worried it would cause me to spontaneously combust, which was a thing I worried about since I was very young and I feel like that was a sign lol

I feel like for this life I’ve definitely knocked out a lot of experiences from the bucket list (getting disowned for my identity, transitioning, organizing my own moves, embroidery, all that jazz) and I’m hoping to do more and feel more as the years go by

the life I remember most is the one where I got my ‘sona’, which was basically an alternate Earth of some kind. I think he was my first humanoid reincarnation, and he still had many animalistic tendencies. a lot of kins that I have are actually previous lives that I’ve ended up remembering very vividly, which is why kinning is so spiritual to me specifically. I align with red foxes bc I’m pretty sure I’ve come back as that quite a lot if not being human, so it gives me comfort :)

Just from little evidences of online quizzes always giving me ‘old soul’ or ‘wise beyond years’ results, people commenting on my social/emotional maturity, my innate desire to learn and to teach, I thought it was just for fun but they’ve actually helped to give me a different perspective and flesh out what makes me more comfortable to believe in, yknow?

There’s a spiritual aspect to my OSDD-1B as well, in the sense that everyone here is a soul that couldn’t find a body and some systems with walk-ins are simply more receptive to those souls, but I mostly just think of this body that way and don’t push it on others

I can explain more with asks to @archer-system since that’s where I’d be more comfortable sharing things, but I appreciate the ask and I’m glad my tags resonated with u!!! 💕

[donuts4evry1]

A post that started as a ramble for stuff I knew about Madame Shirogane but then turned into me doing that thing where you stand in front of a corkboard and connect everything with that red yarn and then sob pitifully on the ground

 [[Spoilers for Hatoful Boyfriend :>, tehe]]

She’s from France, probably

I think it’s likely that she only lived in Japan briefly when she was with Yuuya father, which could explain why she has many misconceptions about the country but seems to be an “authority” to Sakuya

Ya know. “Oh, my mom lived there for awhile so she knows her stuff UvU”, or something like that

Note that later on in the post I devolve into confusion and fear on this point so take it with a grain of salt

The wiki stated that she eloped with a leather worker (Yuuya’s early life entry). I’m tempted to say that he was Japanese based off of Yuuya’s last name but the wiki ALSO states that Yuuya was subjugated into a lesser family branch, so it’s possible that “Sakazaki” isn’t even his birth last name.

There is a chance that Madame Shirogane and the leather guy both ran away to Japan to hide from the Le Bels (considering that Yuuya’s father was assassinated, the danger of being caught was real), so maybe they both simply had no idea what Japan was all about haha

Same deal with the previous point, tho. Take with a grain of salt.

*screams in the Wiki says something completely different*

HELP HELP HELP IM SO CONFUSED. WHAT IS RIGHT. WHAT IS WRONG. MADAME SHIROGANE PLEASE GIVE ME ANSWERS.

I can see monsieur le bel being a french aristocrat but if madame shirogane was a japanese aristocrat then why is all of her information slightly wrong?? 

Does she get a kick out of Sakuya not knowing accurate information about Japan??? Is it from spite or does she find it cute? Sakuya’s actually pretty good at everything he does so maybe she thought it would knock him down a peg? 

Or maybe most of what Sakuya knows is from what she told him as a young child, and so the information he remembers is misconstrued (and Sakuya himself is too proud to admit that he might’ve remembered incorrectly). If this is the case, that would imply that Madame Shirogane hasn’t interacted with Sakuya very recently (or maybe doesn’t interact with him regularly).

ALL OF THIS IS LEFT FOR PLAYER SPECULATION AND IM SOBBING BC I HATE UNCERTAINTY!!!

LOOK!! THIS PART MAKES NO SENSE TO ME??? what does it mean???? “They both have Japanese last names and no one has a French last name so maybe he’s half French”

(Reminder that in an earlier part I noted that “Sakazaki” could also just be a branch family name and not his birth last name. From interactions between Sakuya and Yuuya I’m led to belive he doesn’t use a fake name either so the names we have are valid to use for analysis)

ok ok ok, Yuuya born in France. got it. There’s a 2 year gap between Yuuya’s birth and his father’s death tho, so there’s still plenty of time for them to move to Japan and get settled in and make my initial theory plausible.

On Monsieur Le Bel being a French aristocrat I do find it weird that the surname “Shirogane” was passed down to Sakuya. I mean, if he was French then why is Sakuya getting a Japanese surname? Is the Le Bel family originally Japanese? Was there a Japanese aristocrat that was introduced to the family sometime ago that made it so Monsieur Le Bel had the last name????

Um, confession that I at first thought “Le Bel” was a middle name. Since Sakuya has a French upbringing it’s probable that he does have a middle name but I’m not sure if that would be brought up since the Japanese don’t have middle names (hence why Okosan only asked ab the “given” and “last” names). Considering this comic strip tho I believe that “Le Bel Shirogane” is his full last name. Man’s got a 3 word last name... holy crap

Is it one of those last names that are a conjunction of both parents’ last names, this one just not hyphenated for some reason? If so, maybe Madame Shirogane is actually Japanese, retaining her maiden name despite marrying into the Le Bel family. After all, we do call her Madame Shirogane, not Madame Le Bel. Kinda weird to see an aristocratic family do that tho, is that a common practice?

Mankind started crumbling in 2068, and we are currently in 2188. That’s less than 120 years birds have to build off of what is left of humanity and make a new culture for themselves, including creating lineages based off of wealth n “perceived class”. That might seem like a lot but that’s like, 2-3 generations to gather up prestige (6 at the most if you want to include the generations that probably died closer to a normal pigeon’s lifespan on account of being evolutionarily “new”). Basically what I’m trying to say here is that the idea of a Japanese bird marrying into the family to give Monsieur Le Bel a Japanese last name too isn’t probable. Plus I don’t think it would’ve worked anyway lmaooo I’m just being stupid at this point I’m so sorry for making no sense.

If Monsieur Le Bel was actually Japanese the move would make some sense tho. Maybe he just wanted to move back home(?)

Tho aristocrats do have pretty complicated lives of their own. This could easily be for like, money reasons or something :/

Moving on from the whole “where is she from” debacle, Madame Shirogane seems to have fondness for Japanese culture, but mainly on the “surface level” (I’m not 100% sure on this one tho). Her primarily diffusing japanese horror movies, ninjas, and the sushi places with the little conveyor belts to Sakuya kinda is kinda indicative of this.

Ofc it’s totally possible that this is just the stuff that stuck with him. Maybe she taught him more things that he forgot? But idk if Sakuya would be like that... He really loves his mother. I don’t think he’d forget easily. (ALSO ALSO ALSO,  I’m surprised that his father didn’t convince Sakuya to hate her, considering she eloped with a “commoner”. Maybe Monsieur Le Bel really liked her, beyond her aristocratic ties??? I’ve played around with the idea that he was made heir bc Madame Shirogane was his favourite a little bit but never really got anywhere)

Sakuya seems to be raised by a Nanny too, so it makes me wonder how involved she was in his life. Either Madame Shirogane didn’t want to raise him, had many responsibilities as a lady of the Le Bel family, or wasn’t allowed to interact much with Sakuya (from father or another reason. idk really :/)

 Um yea no i think that’s it

please tell me most of the aspects I explored in the post have convenient answers that were given to us sometime in the decade the game existed and also can easily be found somewhere. bc sob. i need to hear them

[theworldinclines]

out of the gate i’ll tell y’all that this concept has massive plot holes bc i simply can’t put all the dots together in my head, but bc it’s been rotting my brain for like two days i figured i’d tell y’all anyway dfhgkjghdkflj is there a reason i cant get it to make sense?? ya bc its bullshit BUT i love it hdfkjghldkj so !!!!!!!! and admittedly this has hardly anything to back it up so i’ll do what i can to outline what i’ve seen that i feel adds even a tiny bit to this theory hdhglkjd

you can blame this entire thing on p’aof saying that the reason they didn’t tell anyone about torfun’s death is a “must-see” sdjkdhhkldj

the biggest conspiracy theory of all: torfun ISN’T dead.

1. torfun’s death was as big of a scam as we all thought, but not because her death was purposeful.

i’ve been thinking that the accident wasn’t an accident, and that tian’s parents either purposely hit her or allowed her to die in hospital in order to get her heart. the latter makes more sense bc by then they’d be able to find out her private info (blood type etc) from the doctors that they’re such good friends with. but with the conspiracy that im discussing, i propose that torfun isn’t even dead to begin with. i dont buy anyone is dead until i see the body on a slab and even then im not likely to believe it dfhgjkfghlghkdj

the issue with this of course is that tian dreams of her (and phu) in hospital and we assume it’s because of having her heart. i don’t have an explanation for that, nor do i have one for tian seeing her face in the window the other time, but the idea that she’s still alive is essential to my next points.

what’s strange to me is that torfun’s aunt is like not necessary?? but one of her two scenes was on the phone yelling at torfun about not having money, to which torfun asks if she’s just going to blow it on gambling. THAT’S fascinating, because in my mind, i can see torfun being hit by the car and not dying, but rather being able to have her bills etc paid off by tian’s parents and (stay with me) uses the money they pay her off with to move somewhere else to get away from her shitty family. witness protection babey! far fetched? of course. but what else do u expect from me

2. phupha running into tian in bangkok.

now this has so far not been explained. in ep1, tian walks past phupha at the hotel or whatever it was where he was attending an event with tian’s parents. we can assume the event was full of people like tian’s parents aka wealthy, influential, and can basically do whatever they want bc of that. phupha is dressed nicely, and he almost seems like he’s not in too good a mood. by the direction he’s walking (toward tian) and the fact that tian was walking toward the party (and phu) just then, i want to say for a second that phupha in fact was at the event that tian was attending too.

if phupha was there, we have to ask why. he has no place among those people, UNLESS he is doing business of some kind with them. what if that business was either following up or being told that torfun isn’t dead after all?

3. phupha knows she isn’t dead.

i can only speak for funerals in the u.s., but most happen within the month of a person’s death. with that in mind, i will say that at the funeral phupha still believes torfun is dead for real. he expresses annoyance toward the fact that “everything can be settled with money,” which not only is a reference to his dislike for unnecessary extravagance (the way he was raised vs. the way tian was raised) but also implies that torfun’s family was paid off bc of the accident. he says also "i’ll never forgive the person who did this to her.” this all says to me that he thinks she’s dead. that means that some time after the funeral, he is for some reason informed that torfun is actually alive. he isn’t let in on the details, which are they faked documents saying that she donated her heart to make it all more believable that she’s dead. again, no idea why this would he’d be let in on any of this at all but shhh

so they don’t want to tell the villagers immediately bc it’s so new. but phupha finds out that she’s not dead after all, so when the rangers ask to tell the villagers after a couple weeks have passed, phu says that there’s no rush. like she’s dead and that won’t change lol ANYWAYS so they keep her ‘death’ a secret.

(side-note: one of the other things that majorly confuses me is the fact that, because phupha doesn’t tell the villagers about torfun’s death, none of them are able to go to the funeral. and i think thats bullshit. they all love her and its so obvious, and they didn’t even get to mourn at her funeral? why?? because he didnt want to make them sad?? bye)

now this is my favourite part of this theory (aside from torfun being alive bless) because it affects so many aspects of what we’ve seen on screen. any time torfun is mentioned, phupha becomes uncomfortable. because we as the audience believe her to be dead, we read his reactions as the grief at losing someone he cared for, on top of the secret he’s keeping about the death.

but WHAT IF it isn’t grief, is instead the discomfort that comes with hiding a big secret that you don’t want others to know. they ask where torfun is and he acts totally unsubtle every time lmaoo. on the cliff, when he asks tian’s relationship to torfun and why he has her badge, i can see that moment as phupha almost hoping that tian knows the truth, because that would mean he has someone he can confide in about all of it. so when tian says that he only found the badge in the cabin and doesn’t have a connection to torfun, phupha looks DISAPPOINTED. rewatch it and tell me he doesn’t look disappointed. he adjusts himself, accepting tian’s explanation, but he wanted it to be something else. he asks tian again in ep7 about their connection and “is there something you want to tell me” like bitch thats rich coming from u but he needs to sus out what tian knows before he can expose torfun ugh the drama

4. dr nam knows too.

i think phupha told at least nam about torfun escaping her life because nam usually refers to torfun in present tense and he mentions her so casually to tian and others considering she’s supposed to have been hit by an entire vehicle and dead ass. his behaviour in episode 7 really threw me off, but when i considered it in tandem with this theory, it made more sense.

he knows that torfun’s ‘death’ was paid off by teerayuth sophaditsakul, and once he finds out tian’s surname is the same, he connects the dots that tian is actually related to him. with this information, nam is upset bc he knows the damage teerayuth caused and is afraid for phupha to get caught back up with that family, which is why he doesn’t talk first with tian. (he starts to, then stops. inchresting)

it’s also interesting bc at the end when nam allegedly tells phu over walkie talkie, we don’t have audio there. we only can assume it’s nam talking and exposing tian bc phu’s face drops. if phupha knows torfun isn’t dead, yet the son of the man who paid her off supposedly has her heart..??? what the hell?? he’d be mad confused! and imagine episode 8 when tian stands up and is like I KILLED HER. HER HEART IS IN ME. phupha’s gonna be like what in the GOD damn hell is happening here; bc last he knew torfun is alive, and tian is taking the blame for something that is in no way the truth.

look okay........this doesn’t make sense. it isn’t coherent and the holes are obvious. don’t bully me about it. all i can say is i want torfun to be alive so bad dhjkghglhdkgjd and it would solve literally every problem in the show esp phu and tian’s relationship so i regret none of this PEACE

[gayemeralds]

4, 8, 9, 15!! plus a bonus 19 from me... my favorite scene of yours of all time is still probably tails telling vanilla that sonic did his best to take care of him but also understanding that sonic was only 11 (sobbing) ... but other ones that give me emotions are, silver finally telling sonic he dies young and rouge and vector talking abt sonics origins. u have so much good stuff its so hard to pick

4. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter or oneshot fanfictions?

hmmmmm for instant gratification i love doing one shots but multi chapters are SO FUN i love writing a big story with multiple moving parts. im just so bad at finishing them 😔

8. What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

for a very very very long time i would just write in my email as a draft until i finally moved to google docs. lol.

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

“Enjoy it all while you can,” Metal Sonic says, revving up his jet. He has plans to make, to set into motion. He needs to get better, and fighting Sonic like this hasn’t been working. He has to change his behaviour.

Sonic watches him. “Enjoy what?”

Again, he considers not answering him. But perhaps, if Eggman ever succeeded, if Eggman succeeds in taking over in this timeline, if Sonic’s luck runs out… Metal Sonic wishes he had taken more time to appreciate the small things. Flesh bodies are weak. But it was still his body.

“Being able to bleed,” he answers, before jetting off into the distance.

(from where will you be, if you can't find you? ive been thinking about the metal sonic is sonic roboticised theory lately haha)

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

i tend to explain time travel in the same manner in all of my time traveling fics… i just think the allegory of time existing as a knitted blanket is the most easily digestible version and makes the most sense to me haha

i have characters tap their chin a lot or quirk their brow simply because I do that (haha i do that!)

also sometimes i read those “dos and donts of writing” tip posts and something i do a lot is have characters say other characters names in conversations (like, “What do you think, Sonic?” or “I don’t know, Amy, that sounds like a bad idea.” etc) but apparently that’s like, unnatural and people don’t do that in real life much? which is funny because i name drop people irl literally all the time idk why

also hopefully this doesn’t get noticed a whole bunch but I have a nasty habit of just dropping the subject of a sentence or putting it at the end. like yoda. so i have to go back and edit my fics a lot over that lmao because sonic characters don’t talk like that

19. uno reverse !!! loved that fic care and maintenance of, especially the beginning where even concussed Sonic’s first priority is to check on tails asap. they are so… SIBLING!!! so good so good

also i KNOW im going to love ur explaining impossible ideas to impossible people i know it i know it in my heart i just haven’t read it but i know i’ll love it

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE EIGHT THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE TORE ME TO SHREDS & IT’S VISUALLY MY FAVORITE EPISODE.

hayward fucking lied | that manipulative weasel tried to pin all this on wanda to make her look like the bad guy and at the end she did absolutely nothing wrong except maybe cost them new windows. i believe hayward knew that wanda was going to be the power source to bring vision back to life. he hinted at it and i think he tried to push her at SWORD headquarters. when the hex happened, he put the missile on the drone knowing damn well wanda would stop it. he knew that after he detected that she created a copy of vision within the hex, she was the key to completing their rebuilding of vision. overall, my hatred for the man has reached a new level and i hope he dies at the end of the series.

white vision | obviously referring to project catarract that darcy found in SWORD’s hardrive. when i said i wanted white vision to appear, i didn’t mean this way and i’ve seen some theories floating around that maybe james spader will voice this vision? and if this is the big secret actor paul has been saying he’s going to work with — i will laugh and cry because i am one of those who was thinking we’d get an x-men cameo with either professor x or magneto and i’m gonna hold out hope. if it is just vision vs. vision, i don’t doubt i’ll love it. so excited to see this vision though it’ll hurt to see vision battle wanda since this whole episode just showed us how much they loved each other.

wanda and vision’s relationship | we got to see a very sweet and deep moment between the two in the avengers compounds after age of ultron. when i tell you i damn near cried into my pillow, it made my heart ache. they really are fucking soulmates. i didn’t originally care for the couple but this show really showcased how despite being the pairing of a witch and an android, there is still so much LOVE between these two. i broke when i saw the deed to the lot and vision’s note of growing old together. excuse me marvel i didn’t ask to be emotionally obliterated, thanks.

wanda’s chaos magic | clearly, we see that wanda is responsible for the creation of the hex. i think she didn’t purposely block out her creating the hex. when she said she doesn’t know how it happened, she truly doesn’t. we’ve seen her lose control once and that was after the death of pietro but it wasn’t as strong before. i believe she just blacked out a bit since she hasn’t used that much of her power before. i think with literally no one (where tf was clint? the avengers?? literally anyone????) there to help her grieve and basically keep her grounded, the wave, referring to her powers, did drown her this time and consumed her into this escapist reality where she no longer felt that pain.

wanda & sitcoms | now we learn why the show has been in the style of various television sitcoms. she’s grown up with them since she was a little girl in sokovia - her favorite being the dick van dyke show. hello i’m soft af. even when her parents were killed and she was practically at death’s door with pietro, television was there to help her get through it. in the HYDRA base, wanda still has a television to watch and help her through the days. what this episode told us is that television is wanda’s constant. i mean this in the sense that unlike people, television has always been there for her. wanda has not had a consistent group of people around her. it’s a revolving door when it comes to the people in wanda’s life. we see her alone and almost abandoned when we see how the creation of the hex happened. television is her escape which is what television provides for everyone. that’s the purpose of television shows - give you an escape from your life because in shows like the ones that have influenced wanda’s reality, they always turn out fine by the end of the episode.

agatha’s therapy | throughout this whole thing agatha is sort of giving wanda much needed therapy even if the end goal is not in wanda’s best interest. she mentions very quick about wanda being a young witch which could coincide with the idea that wanda’s always had this sort of gene in her like pietro and other mutants (if they’re going to use her to confirm the existence of the x-gene which im dying for tbh). she has a clue from the get go as to what wanda is but until she has the full picture, she doesn’t reveal it until the end of the episode. she confirms that ‘fietro’ came from a necromancy spell sooo does that mean she’s using a dead body? he was her eyes and ears but of course, wanda didn’t give up much and that plan was foiled.

wanda resurrecting vision | we learn that wanda never stole vision and brought him back to life. because she and vision are both born from the mind stone, it’s not shocking as to her practically using the chaos magic to create a vision for herself. it also explains why vision can’t live outside the hex - he was born from it and without the chaos magic, he’ll die. also, it’s peppered throughout the episode that the two are soulmates so there’s that aspect to it as well. so she hasn’t been puppeteering a corpse - that image of dead vision stems from wanda’s trauma and mentality starting to chip away at her reality. it also proves how fucking powerful this woman is because like agatha said, she’s supposed to be a thing of myth. while she did use her magic to create/resurrect vision, he’s still his own being in a sense - she doesn’t control him completely. he has his own thoughts and perceptions. he’s aware and the fact that something of wanda’s creation can do that really just showcases the power she holds in her.

agatha’s backstory | seems that agatha’s pretty smug when she’s confronted by her coven leader. it’s pretty easy to see through (in my opinion) the pleading to her mother and the rest of her coven. also kathryn hahn is simply eating up this fucking role and i’m here for it. now we learn why she has the broach, it’s her mother’s which is sweet but seeing agatha throughout the series and in the past, seems more of a token of practically massacring her coven that day. i liked seeing that snippet of her past and it seems like she’s always been drawn to the darker and more sinister side of witchcraft.

wanda’s power | as agatha comments at the end, wanda truly doesn’t know how dangerous she can be. wanda can barely remember how the hell the westview hex happened. while yes i’m here for wanda being shown and known as the most powerful being in the mcu, it’s also worth noting that she is dangerous. at the beginning of the episode, agatha rubs her nose in about how simple a protection spell is or how she studied to get her powers to where they are today. wanda doesn’t know anything about witchcraft or spells. yes, she gained powers from the infinity stone but she was made to be a weapon and even after being brought into the avengers, she wasn’t taught magic or how to tap into her chaos magic. she didn’t even know that her power was considered magic. i also think wanda’s powers are very much rooted in her emotions. we saw what she could do in age of ultron when she felt her twin die. wanda is powerful but so dangerous in this aspect. not saying that this is a bad thing but it separates wanda from other magic users like agatha, dr. strange and even loki. agatha has had years of knowledge and training to be as powerful as she is now. what separates wanda from the others is that she doesn’t have the control and mastery like them. she didn’t know that her powers could make another vision or alter the reality of a town populated by 3,000+ people. agatha is right, wanda is dangerous because she hasn’t had years to control the power she holds at her fingertips.

[the-righteous-heathen]

Everytime I try to stop believing..my brain literally can’t not believe. All the hell and back videos I watched as a child, the rapture signs, I don’t want to exist anymore and I’m scared for myself...any advice?

This will be hard to answer but I will try. I’m glad you reached out to someone because these are totally normal thoughts to have when going through a faith transition and they can make you feel so alone, and no one should have to feel that way. I will start by telling you how to recognize what’s going on, and then I’ll give you some ideas on how to logic your way through these thoughts.

First, recognize that this may be a trauma response. This fear is a real sign of religious trauma recognized by real therapists. Fear of hell and questioning your nonbelief is typically instilled into a member of a religious organization—particularly cults—with a specific intent. Think about all of the things your church has told you over the years about God and hell. Maybe there was an ulterior motive to get you to stay. Maybe they knew how it would make you feel. If you can recognize where these thoughts came from, maybe you can start deconstructing them.

Deconstructing your thoughts:

Consider doing research. There are ways to make these thoughts feel less real and scary, and one of them is reading arguments against them. There are good books about the philosophical arguments against god, and there might also be information about your cult that they may have been hiding. If you’re Mormon, I recommend reading the CESletter, watching older Jimmy Snow videos on YouTube (he’s got some good arguments against god as well as exmormon information), and watching exmo lex on YouTube. You could also read The God Argument or other books by atheists, those really helped me when considering whether I believed in god.

As far as actual logic, there are a few things that helped me decide whether I believed in god.

First, think about why religion exists. Before science, people needed ways to explain things like lightning storms and lethal diseases. It made perfect sense that they’d need to assign these phenomena to a deity’s actions. They couldn’t understand it otherwise because there were no scientific communities or grand theories about the universe. It was then passed down, sticking around even into the age of the scientific method, though we technically don’t need these beliefs anymore. If you understand where things come from, it’s easier to dismiss your fears. Maybe the idea of god is simply a coping method for things we don’t understand, whether he’s real or not. Maybe we created him because that’s how us humans are.

Second, decide whether the god you subscribed to even deserves your worship. If you picture the perfect, most loving deity, is he like the Christian god? Does a loving god send people to hell? Does a loving god tell them that they are bad just for who they love or because they had sex before marriage even though marriage is a human concept bound by the imaginary lines of what’s essentially just a legal contract? Maybe there is god, but I don’t think the real god would actually send the people he loves to scream in the fires of hell. And if he does, maybe believing in a terrible being like him isn’t worth it after all.

Third, watch melodysheeps “timelapse into the future” video on YouTube. It’s long for a YouTube video, but in the grand scheme of things 30 minutes isn’t that much time. It talks about what will actually happen in the future according to science as we know it, and im telling you, we DONT MATTER. How is a universe with so much matter, and so little of its lifespan able to support life going to have a god that only cares about us humans? If there is a god, I think he’d be more worried about making supernovas and Hawking radiation happen than sending you to hell. Science is the one thing that makes me absolutely certain there isn’t a god. There’s an explanation for almost EVERYTHING but there’s no explanation for god. Especially the Christian god.

These fears will go away with time. You are valid and your struggles are real. Don’t rush yourself, and focus on healing above everything. If your mind says something is too much, it’s too much, and you’re allowed to take a break. Lastly, I recommend therapy. Not every therapist will know all about religious trauma but they may have coping skills for you. You will know what’s right. Good luck with your faith journey and keep trying.

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[rurifangirl]

chile, could ya explain the magic system in yo oc world more? im kinda confused w how it works👁👄👁

Oh boy, here we go bitches.

So as an intro to this, I said bout last oc post in Qiran's part that their fam was full of mages n shit, but also some of em weren't, n since they do have magic istelf Imma do more parts (3 parts)

First part- how does It all work (Humans/Mages)

First of all, not all of em have a connection with magic, for example Evelyn doesn't at all while Lyva does but only through a magical item so It doesn't really count.

Other then that, if you're born you can either be born with some kind of magic, or simply not. It all depends from your family's lineage, for example If you come from a family of mainly rougues it's hard to get some kind of magical power, while if your parents have both some kind of power or even if it's only one of em, it's more likely you'll end up with something really similar, or a mixture of the two. (In case both of your parents have magical powers of any sort.)

It also depends on where you're living, for example If you'd be born from a cold place it's unlikely ya'd have magma magic rather than snow magic.

Between humans/mages the system Is kinda the same, but that does change for Hybrids/Demi gods/anything that isn't born between the same species.

Between humans/mages it's more of how their ancestors managed to treat its powers, as some got even destroyed for not being worthy of its usage, so If anything at this point and time they're lucky about getting somethin.

Mages are far more cautious about It, having both a lot of hidden knowlege about spells or even origins of some types of magic, though that being the most "common" ones, (for example fire, water ect.), because it's not only them of course, there's far more variants and all are different from eachother.

They can also get stronger by the worshipping of certain gods, which I don't think I will really talk about, at least in this post. (And also because they're still a wip of mine)

But the gang until now really never relied on any of them, or at least Lyva/Rui n Naexi never really did, while the others absolutely did. This Is also why I will do another post as a sorta of a part 2.

Anyways back on topic, most people in all parts of my oc world aren't used to worshipping anymore, or at least a great part of It, mainly because of a loss of knowlege about anything about them.

It's kind of taboo even mentioning most gods names, as they fear something will go wrong if they would (*ahem*being suspicious n allarmin the cult*AHEM*). In fact it's hard to get on most religions because the only remains of It are extremely either hidden, or destroyed in the meanwhile.

I wanna say that another reason because the worshipping stopped Is also because of Rui's cult. Yes, remember that?

It's gonna be talked about on its own post, but let's just say that for them, it's a safe way to restrain anyone knowing far too much about how everything works.

They're the only ones owning most stuff about different coltures to avoid having them against their side,

If there's no worshippers, no knowlege, n more weak magic because people don't strengthen them, who's gonna go against em? (It'll turn out to be the shittiest idea they've ever had but that really did work for the longest time.)

Oh I think i forgot to mention this, but since magic goes lineage to lineage, It also weakenens as generations pass by, as THAT'S the reason they absolutely need those texts.

That's also the reason most humans struggle w keepin magic. Mages can manage, though it's a small portion, since sometimes not even what they've learned over generations works anymore.

Second part- how does It all work (Hybrids/Demi gods n stuff)

Oh boy, so, I'm also gonna use Shou n Naexi a lot here, so bear w me. As I said earlier, it's different from em, since it's not about lineage at all.

Apart that the union between different species Is both a taboo n seen as something "ashaming",so even if they had a child It was more likely they'd Hide It or leave It behind. So it's already a really, god-awful situation for them.

The magic works kinda randomly, in the sense that since the hybrid's nature is seen as unstable to begin w, there's no real critere to handle how the child born Is gonna turn out to be.

Sometimes it's really hard to notice, having yeah some features but can be hidden really easly, but other times Is just, a real mess between the two species, n the magic Is also uncontrollable, especially during their first years of life.

For example, in Shou's case he used to really switch a lot between em, that being the reason he later on prefers not to switch, n havin to learn as soon as possible how to learn how his magic n form would work w It, having again a lot of preassure comin from people he knew.

This Is unfortunatly a really common situation between most hybrids. And there's also no choise.

If you as an hybrid can control magic w/o anything to rely on then you can live, while if you cannot do It, it's a matter of time before you'd get zoned out by everyone and everything.

This Is a big issue, other than having everything fucked by the cult but that's another story.

Aight now bout demi-gods, they're also really not seen well. Most of them prefer not to interact at all with anything that Is not godly related, and in fact, most of em even refused to adknowledge their mortal parent, since they all have resentment over the sudden disappereance of all belivers.

If anything Naexi Is a weird one at that, as they did have a suddent interest in humans and ungodly creatures, though still recognized about how cruel any of them could've been, especially she's a demi-god and has a bad reputation at that.

The magic system Is relatively simple, they just get a certain amount of power from their god parent and are actually pretty capable of controlling them in confront of Hybrids.

That mainly comes from a special connection w their god parent's power, so in theory they're sort of devoted to them.

I wanna expand this when I'll do the gods post n finnaly introduce some of em (And potentially Naexi's mother👀), so I'll not go beyond this atm.

Third part- Magical items/weapons

Aight onto another important part, which Is basically how tf would that work. We have that comin from Qiran's sword n Lyva's earrings, so they'll also be later on disscussed bout.

Even though it's a tough and long procedure, you can transport some of your own magic onto somethin as ordinary as an hat or as sharp as a dagger.

This Is being mainly used in emergency situations, as that energy can eventually be re-used later on by its user.

The user can be changed as long as there's a deal between both parties, whether that being a gift, buying It, or anythin up to them really.

It can also be a great way to hide mage's power, since there are some parts where they arent exactly that respected, so they could blend in with normal humans.

In fact, Qiran does that continiously thanks to their sword, daggers and other lil weapons, and they keep a big part of It there, to seem rather a normal knight/adventurer rather than havin somethin supernatural goin on.

They have a great holdo it since their father did make them learn to fulfill their request to be freerly goin round.

With Lyva it's not really different, even if she kinda stole It n there wasn't really a deal at that moment, but before runnin away from everyone n everything she convinced her mother to give her something that she could use to defend herself, since they were never around and when they were, they would've kinda avoided her.

Oh, and to add this, you could also curse an item. It's a way to mainly punish since ,well, it's a curse,

and makes the user either completely obsessed with the object itself or makin them do somethin w/o any type of consent, whether physical or emotional.

In some cases It can also be a torture tool. Though, as some recent stuff happened, they're somewhat hard to find.

If you still have somethin unclear lemme know cuz idk If I covered everythin or if somethin ain't clear enough😭

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx @audre-falrose @nadi-117

(If you want your tag removed/added either dm me/go in the ask thing or do the tag thingy in the pinned comment‼️)

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 35 - If a giraffe wore a bow tie...?

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of 'The Freedom of Expression'. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Joe san, whats going on with that mask?

J: This? It's good. It gets me in a supportive mood. If I wear this, if everyone wears these, who knows? Hanshin might move up? Miraculously from second place?

K: So if I wore one...

J: Yeah!

K: But because Im not wearning one..?

J: Its because you're not wearing one! Thats it!

T: Yeah.

Kami: No, no, its impossible.

J: Is it?

Kami: Yes, it is!

K: Yeah, I think its probably impossible.

Kami: Lets just get on with the show.

J: Ah, I see. Ok.

K: Ok, Joe...

K: Yes, today's news is this. If a giraffe wore a bow tie, would it wear it at the top or the bottom of the neck? There are many problems in the world that need discussing, but this may be a very important discussion to us. It was reported by the U.S. edition of the Huffington Post. The question was posted on Twitter on the 14th of September, 'If a giraffe wore a bow tie, would it wear it at the top or the bottom?', and lots of people have answered it. Well, we can't show you the images, but just to explain it simply, can I show my drawing?

K: Oh, already?

J: *showing his drawing* Well, Im not sure if it looks like a giraffe...

K: No, it does look like a giraffe.

J: Does it?

K: Yes.

J: Is it ok? Well, according to the Huff post article, a giraffe would wear a bow tie either here (*points to top of the neck*), or here (*points to bottom of neck*)

K: Either nearer to the face, or nearer to the body?

J: Yep. People have a lot of thoughts on the correct way a giraffe should wear a bow tie, and many people have been writing many reasons for their answers. For example, people who think it should be at the bottom say that if the giraffe tied the bow tie himself, his front legs would only reach up that far up. And as for the opinion of small kids, they say that humans wear bow ties at the top of their neck, so giraffes should too. Many different age groups have many different reasons for where the bow tie should go. Humans don't have a lot of choice because our necks are short, but its like, what do you think as for a giraffe with a long neck?

K: Hmm.

J: So we might as well each have a go at drawing a bow tie on a giraffe, and we'll give our reasons for where we put it.

T: Shall we have a go? Its pretty difficult.

K: Um, we only put a bow tie on it, right?

J: Yeh, only a bow tie.

K: Not with a shirt, or a suit or anything?

J: No

K: You put a bow tie with a shirt though usually, don't you?

J: Yeh, you do.

K: You don't often tie it straight onto your neck, do you?

J: You don't, right.

T: Yeah.

K: So, if you had a shirt...well, maybe im saying too much.

J: Yeah...

T: Lets just draw first.

J: Yeah, lets do the drawing first. You can use your ideas in your drawing...Hm, where to put it...

T: Its quite difficult.

J: Haha, Tasai's giraffe is kinda impressive anyway.

K: Its a Tokyo Sports-style giraffe, right?

J: Haha, yeah.

K: Its quite mysterious.

J: Haha, it is. ???*1 Even this shows our differences. I think mine's ok compared to Tasai's, haha....But where should it go...?

T: Its difficult, isn't it?

J: Kami isn't here so he can't draw one, but Kami, draw one in your mind. We'll ask you too.

Kami: Ok.

K: Is Kami artistic, I wonder?

J: Can you draw, Kami?

Kami: No, I can't draw at all. Its shocking.

J, K, T: Ahh.

J: Ok, shall we start with Tasai?

K: Shoudn't I go first?

J: I thought we could end with you?

K: Really? Im not gonna win to him, haha *points to Tasai*

J: If its winning or losing based on first impressions, ???*2

K: Ok, I chose bottom.

J: Oh, the bottom?

T: You're in the 'bottom of the neck' club? Why? What are your feelings?

K: If its too near the face, the balance will be off.

T: Ah, I see.

J: It looks stylish. Does it make the neck look long?

K: No, well, its long anyway, haha.

J: Ah, it doesn't make it look long, it just is long.

K: Well, I mean, it could also wear it half way up.

J: Ah, I see.

K: I just thought its probably best not to have it too near the face.

J: Ah, I see. Well, as for me, the bow tie looks terrible, but..

T: Is that a bow tie? It looks more like a stick! It looks like its wearing a dumbell on its neck!

J: It does look like a dumbell, but my idea was to put it at the top.

K: Is that a collar? haha

J: It ended up looking kinda like a collar. I have the image of it being closer to the top. If its at the bottom, its close to the body, but I feel like a tie should be on the throat. Where is the throat on a giraffe??

T: Yeh..

K: Hmm, yeh. Im not sure.

J: I don't know either, but I put the bow tie at the top.

T: I see.

J: Ok, Tasai..

T: Well...(*holds up his drawing*) I put a very big bow tie on the neck.

J, K: Haha.

T: At the top of the neck.

J: Ah, at the top?

K: Where is that animal from? haha

Kami: Its pretty good.

J: Look at the eyes!

K: Haha

Kami: You're good at drawing.

T: Can you see it Kami?

Kami: Yep, I can, I can.

K: The artistry...

J: Should we make this into a tshirt?

T: Hahaha.

K: This would be pretty good on a tshirt.

J: It would, right?! You know that alien thing by the artist Daniel Johnston? Its like that.

T: Really, wow! That kind of highly acclaimed work?

J: It could go on a tote bag!

T, J: Hahaha

Kami: Isn't the neck on this giraffe a bit short though?

T: Well, its because the bow tie is so big, the neck looks short.

K: No, its the face that makes the neck look short.

Kami: The face is too big..

T: There's a reason for the bow tie. If you put a big one here, it really stands out. It just screams, 'Lets have a party on the savannah!'

J: Ah, I see. Its for a party?

T: Yeh, this big one is for parties, and when he's trying to seduce a woman, he has this more subdued one at the bottom..

K: This depends a lot on the circumstances!

T: And a woman will see this small bow tie, and think, 'Ah, he's so stylish'.

J, K: Hahaha

T: So this small one is to attract the ladies.

J: I see.

T: The big one has more personality.

J: Like, 'Its me!'

T: Yeah, like 'Im here! Number 1 in the savannah!'

J: And the little one is for the women?

T: Yeah, at night he'll take off the big one, and just wear the small one...and while they're having drinks, she'll think, 'Oh, how stylish'.

J: I think Tasai's picture has a big impact, right?

K: Yeah, its good.

J: I feel like this is the first time I've seen a drawing of yours, Tasai. Even after doing this show for so long...

T: Yeah..it shows my personality.

J: Ahh, its great.

K: So, it seems like wearing it at the top is common.

J: At the moment, yeh. What about Kami?

Kami: I think bottom.

J: Ohh, bottom? Same as Kaoru.

Kami: It seems like it would get in the way if it was at the top.

T: Ahh, yeh. In a practical sense.

Kami: It wouldn't be nice getting his neck caught on something. If it was a regular tie, it would strangle him, wouldn't it?

T: Yeh, thats right.

J: Well, yeh.

Kami: So I think bottom is better.

T: Well, a bow tie is pointless to start with, so I thought, like ultra flashy.

Kami: Its because a giraffe's neck is long, as to why people are worrying about this, right?

J: Yeah.

Kami: So if it were an elephant, for example..It would be, 'Where would you put a nose piercing?'

T: Where would it go? Wouldn't it just be at the hole?

K: Well, it would have to be if it was a ring type. It would get really clogged up if it was further up *3

J: Haha, agh it would! So, how about this? Could people write comments on youtube?

T: Oh, like 'My idea is.....'. But isn't this better? (*Points to his own paper*) Its loud.

K: It looks kinda childish to me. At the bottom looks more mature.

J, T: Ah, yeh.

Kami: It would get dirty when he eats.

T: Haha

Kami: If he spilled his food....at the top.

J: Well, yeh.

K: Well it would get dirty at both ends in that case, haha.

T: You're right, it does look childish at the top.

J: Well, it is a hot topic on twitter.

T: I wonder if any conclusion has been made about this? Im interested.

J: Yeah. Well, I read a while ago about this 'missing link'. So, a giraffe's neck is long, right? And they havn't discovered any animal that had just a medium length neck, have they?

K, T: Ahh

J: So according to the theory of evolution, the neck should have become longer over time, bit by bit. But a missing link animal with just a medium length neck hasn't been discovered. So one explanation is the neck became long all of a sudden.

T: Ehh?

J: Normally, it should get longer bit by bit, right? By trying to reach food higher up. If the food lower down is all gone, and there is a lot of competition, the neck should have grown longer to reach food higher up. But that would mean reaching higher places little by little. So there should be some animal with a partially grown neck according to evolution, but it doesnt seem like there is. So some people are saying it might have changed all of a sudden.

Kami: There are things like that for elephants and stuff, aren't there? With partially grown trunks. 

J: Well, there probably isn't, right? I don't think there are any elephant fossils like that.

K: But there was so many different types of animals alive in the past, right?

J: Yeah

K: Unrecognizable ones, looking like they came out of manga.

J: Yeh yeh yeh. So, from those we have left the ones that were able to adapt to their environment. And its said that giraffes developed their long neck trying to eat food from the top of trees, due to competition with other animals.

T: It looks that way, but after what you just said, im not sure now.

J: Its interesting. Like, we don't know if it was a sudden change caused by a virus. Like now we have coronavirus. Did a new creature emerge from that kind of situation?

T: Joe, you know a lot.

J: No no no.

Kami: I have the feeling it was made by a god.

K: But not this one, right?

Kami: No, I can't make anything. Nothing at all, at best I can talk. My talk isn't worth anything recently either. 

J: But god is said to be the creator, right?

Kami: Yeh, thats a more serious god.

J: Don't you have anything?

Kami: No, nothing.

T: I feel kinda sorry for Kami.

K: Yeah, me too. Born with the title 'Kami/god', and he can't do anything..

Kami: I have no abilities at all.

K: Ok, well, lets end here this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

Kami: Please dooo.

J, T: Hahaha

*1, 2 Couldn't catch.

*3 Not entirely sure here.

[hanyohime]

 A Broken blade 🗡️ , Rainbow Children 🌈  🦋  and the Root of all Evil🌳

Yashahime Ep. 2 and Ep. 3 (preview) observations and altering theories:

So some of my previous theories were a bit off, like Towa’s sword being found because of some reaction to Setsuna’s Eye/Golden Pearl. However, it is still unclear if the sword itself has some special ability or if Towas Silver Pearl is projecting energy into it. We saw how in Ep. 2 her sword breaks on the Three Eyed Mistress, but in the Ep. 3 preview you can see her with the blue blade of light that was advertised in the promo posters. I do not think that this light is coming form the power of the pearl per se, as the glow from her eye is White/Silver but the energy emitting from the broken blade is Blue. I believe this light/energy is coming from Towa herself, from an unrealized power.

I have a theory that sword in its broken state is how she will rid or help  individuals possessed by the demonic roots. Perhaps she will even be cable to do this without having to kill the host directly, much like the Tensseiga and the demons of the underworld. I also have this idea that her sword will be able to cast things into the rainbow corridor because they have to get rid of the Three Eyed Mistress somehow in the next episode, but I don’t have much to go on that yet... I think the sword will eventually be repaired, I believe Moroha will direct Towa to someone in the past to repair the blade. It will most likley be the mystery character who is yet to have a name, as they are seen in the promo poster with a similarly wrapped weapon, just like Towas sword. I think it would be pretty cool if it remained broken and the blade is just this mysterious blue energy that projects out from the hilt.

Side note: Despite my initial theory being wrong, Towa does find the sword in modern times but it seems to be some sort of relic, perhaps from the Higurashi shrine? She says it belonged to Ashikaga Yoshiteru which, according to some google sleuthing, is one of the most prominent Shogun of the Muromachi period of Japan. In Ep. 1, we were introduced to the Deputy Shogun, Ogigayatsu Hiiraga Danjo. How I interpreted this information is that the Ogigayatsu this is just another clan within the Ashikaga or allied with them. It also says that the Ogigayatu clan is defeated by the Hojo clan, and  the Ashikaga clan was driven out of Kyoto by Oda Nobunaga. This means the girls will be in a time where there is a lot of clan conflicts, and sociopolitical problems in general. It was mentioned that the surrounding provinces (villages?) have been fighting, in the Ep. 1 flashback. 

In the preview for the next episode we see that Towa will be possessed by a demonic root parasite that attaches to her face, most likely to get a hold of the Silver Pearl. I believe this thing was attached to the Three Eyed Mistress and is perhaps what caused her to rampage the local villages. There are a couple points in Ep. 2 where she begins to glow purple, much like the demon/creatures the girls are facing off with in the opening song. This makes me believe Root Head, who appears to be anchored to the sacred tree, must sprout root like creatures to do his bidding around the surrounding villages. This is quite worrisome as it seems that no one will be safe from these parasites. I have a feeling this will cause a lot of problems for the girls in their search for answers as they, and the company they keep, will be easy targets as they roam the land with 3 pearls. I bet stronger more fearsome demons could also be possessed in efforts to stop the girls from fixing the past, maybe even ones we are familiar with. Root Head could also be causing a lot of the clan conflicts in the surrounding villages, so that he can generate more fuel (AKA human heads) and gain more power. Yotsume, who I assume is working with Root Head, was already able to infiltrate one clan. Who knows if there aren't other allies of Root Head with other clan leaders, trying to spur on the blood shed. Just something to think about.

I believe The Three Eyes Misstress is most likely being used as a pawn to search for pearls, and it could be because of her strong ability to sense them? What I found very interesting was her saying that the pearl had demon powers, which makes me wonder about the theory of Kagome creating them. I believe she, as a priestess, would not have the ability to specifically create demonic pearls. So right now I am leaning more on the idea that they were already in existence beforehand. It also makes me wonder if the OG crew are sealed in them or they were thrown into the rainbow corrido like Towa was? But this doesn't explain where Sessomaru and Rin are if the twins have those pearls... but I’m not opposed to the idea that our beloved missing characters are in different time lines or realms in pearls form or not.

So it is now apparent that the pearls were created BEFORE the night of the fire as Towa, and presumably Sestuna, had the pearls in their eyes when they were very young. If Im going on the theory that Sesshomaru is the Silver Pearl and Rin is the Golden Pearl, something must have happened to them before the girls have the pearls, more in the past than we expected.

Another thing is that Towa mentions that they lived in the forest for a long time? I have noticed a lot of people interpret this as they lived alone in the forest, but in the english subtitles she simply states that they lived in the forest. I don’t necessarily think they were orphaned, someone had to have raised them and clothed them, but who?! Something else I noted was that Setsuna does not have her Monomoko with her when she is little, so it definitely is given to her after the fire. Does Sesshomaru save her? I have read some people suggesting that Sesshomaru may not even know he has daughters, but I don’t think this is likely because how would Setsuna receive her Mokomoko if she hadn't met him? The fandom have also been noting on how it was strange that these two girls ran around the forrest and there doesn't appear to be any demons around that may be threatening to them. I have a thought, perhaps this is an area that has been eradicated of demons from not only Inuyasha and crew, but Sesshomaru, so that his children can roam and live freely. I have a feeling that Sesshomaru will have more of a status role in the series, perhaps he reclaimed his fathers domain? I only think this because the girls are referred to as princesses, and why in a series that has put down half demons so much would they be addressed as such if it were not for their lineage? Something else that keeps nagging me is that perhaps the days of demons are coming to an end slowly? Or perhaps the scene below is an altered memory?

Another theory thats a bust is Moroha and Setsuna knowing each other, which is something I can not wrap my head around. How would these two girls who have such similar careers, never cross paths, and meet for the first time now after 10 years!? Although, I believe that Moroha meeting Setsuna for the first time and calling her “Setsu-chan” is what actually triggers the Golden Pearl in Setsuna’s eye to start glowing. Something about calling her by this nick name may be triggering a memory, perhaps there is a lost memory of Moroha calling her “Setsu-chan” when they were young and the annoyance she feels towards it is giving her some kind of nostalgia for a past she can’t remember. 

Kohaku appears to know Moroha in a way, as she has made some kind of a reputation for herself as Beniyasha. He addresses her as “dono” in Japanese which I was told meant that he is showing her respect as an equal, most likely professionally. In english it was translated as “Lady”, which confused me but the Japanese version makes more sense. But how does Kohaku know her? Does he know who she really is, or have they had run ins with each other in the past? I would assume as leader/chief of the Demon Slayers he would keep track of reported bounty hunters slaying demons out side of his devision. But it appears he doesn't know much about her abilities as he was surprised she had sealing arrows. 

Hisui also does not appear to know anything about her as he says “a demon and a bounty hunter?, as if he could only sense that she has demonic energy. So it’s safe to assume that Hisui and Kirara do not know/remember her, this could even be the first time they have met in person, and he only knows descriptions of her, but he does refer to her by name. I am a little concerned at Hisui’s haste to attack Moroha, despite her explanation that she was simply there waiting for her bounty, it definitely shows that he feels little respect for bounty hunters. At first I thought he was judging Moroha for being part demon... This made me wonder about his childhood, does he have some memories of something traumatic, perhaps a demon making his parents and maybe even his sisters disappear? However I doubt this now because of his familiarity with Setsuna and of course Kirara.

The one theory I'm most disappointed about is Hisui potentially not having a rainbow pearl. Because the Three eyed Mistress was able to sense Moroha’s and the one in Setsuna’s eye so easily, but made no indication that there was another present as she chases Hisui, Kirara and Setsuna towards Kaedes Village. So I now I have reason to believe that the largest bead on his prayer beads on his left arm is not a rainbow pearl. However! I am not completely dismissing the idea. I like to think that the prayer beads are actually concealing its power for the time being, at least until Hisui has his own moment where memories trigger a reaction from the pearl. Fingers crossed.

Whether it’s a pearl or not, I am still going with the theory that Hisui is spiritually inclined like his father. I think Hisui will play an important role in finding some of the pearls, specifically the coral and blue pearl. I hope as they set out for answers that Hisui and Kirara will be joining the girls. Hisui and Setsuna seem to have a solid working relationship (the ship has sailed folks!), and I am excited to learn more about what kind of personal relationship they have as they were most likely raised together in the demon slayer village. I have a theory that it is Hisui or Kirara who finds Setsuna during the fire which is how she eventually ends up in the demon slayer village and under Kohakus care. When it comes to any potential romantic feelings forming between Setsuna and Hisui I can see Setsuna being a little more indifferent about it and Hisui struggling hopelessly to gain her trust as more than just a fellow demon slayer. It would be really funny if he is the exact opposite of his father when it comes to love and has NO game what so ever.

Moroha seems familiar with the Rainbow pearls and the time tunnel, calling it the “Rainbow Corridor.” But how does she know about it!? After passing through the CorrIdor she also expresses that she feels weak, what would cause this? Is it Root Head draining their energy? Setsuna also seems to be having a hard time getting out of the Three Eyed Mistress’s hold, perhaps she too feels the effects of the time travel. This is completely different from the time passage Kagome went through, it must be specifically linked to the pearls (the name kind of gives that away). How much does Moroha know about this corridor? Another theory could be that she has seen this happen before to others, perhaps she recalls the events that caused the disappearance of our main characters but her memories are also altered. Before Moroha and Setsuna are pulled in, the tree (Root Head) actually speaks to them stating that it had not felt the the presence of the pearls for 10 years, so Root Head also knows or their existence, again firming the theory that they were in existence before the incidence that causes everyone to disappear and for memories to be altered. Perhaps Yotsume observed the creation or gathered information for Root Head on the Rainbow Pearls and set out a plan to collect them, and maybe in the past starting a fire was a part of this plan. Another thing is Root head says he is returning to THIS world, what could he mean by this? What world could it be returning from... curious.

With all of this, I am now convinced that almost everyone has had their memories tampered with, in one way shape or form, and some more than others.

Once again, that all I got for now! I’ll probably edit this post a few times tbh

This post goes out to @hanmajoerin @kumikodiary @inukag @viva-el-belt-libre @d-o-v-e-y​ @companion-for-who​ @biancam70​ thanks for going theory crazy with me!! <3

[kim-seungmine]

give my heart a chance

title: give my heart a chance

characters: (fem) reader x han jisung of stray kids. 

genres: romance, fluffy as hell (i just want them to kiss so bad!), college au, friends to lovers au, composer/music scorer!jisung, assistant director!reader

word count: 6.9k words

warnings: cursing, a little suggestive i guess? there’s a lot of sexual references but nothing too wild, lots of (attempted) flirting, jisung is whipped as hell, it gets very wordy sometimes IM SORRY.

synopsis: you and jisung have these theories about love, and there’s only one way to prove yourselves right: testing them on each other.

a/n: writing this gave me so much joy, and writing from jisung’s perspective is super fun. lastly, sorry for the lame ass title, but i hope you’ll enjoy! please tell me there aren’t many grammatical/spelling errors i’ve read this over and over again.

Verse 1: “Date me, so I can write love songs about you.”

Han Jisung has a lot of ambitions. Being the world's best composer, buying a whole island for himself, and flexing his Rolex watches are on his list, but for now finishing his demo for the upcoming production meeting will be enough.

Maybe he's not so ambitious after all.

The door clicks open and reveals his roommate Lee Minho, his hair disheveled but eyes twinkling. Jisung raises his eyebrow. "Did you pass out on the street or something? What time is it?"

It's now Minho's turn to raise his eyebrow. "I had this amazing date but to put it simply, your man got laid."

Jisung sighs and knocks his head on the desk. "Lucky you."

"Your time will come, my friend," Minho assures him flatly, lying on the couch with a contented sigh. "What time is the meeting?"

"9 A.M." Jisung yawns, lifting his head to glance at his watch. "Fuck, I'm late."

Jisung doesn't know why he struggles to finish this project. His senior Bang Chan asked him to join his graduation project and help with the scoring. Jisung is willing to do anything that boosts his resume, but so far the project is only causing him headache. He's Han Jisung, the best student in his batch who almost always forgets to finish his assignments but always manages to ace them. He also sings and raps—even freestyling. He's the musical genius. Why is this happening to him?

Minho mumbles a sleepy good luck before passing out. Jisung is about pack his laptop when his phone vibrates. Your name appears on his screen, making him groan.

"Han Jisung you're late," you deadpan before he gets to say hello.

"I'm on my way."

“Get your ass here in 10 minutes or..."

"Or what?"

He can hear you tapping your pen on the table. "...I have nothing to threaten you with."

Jisung chuckles. Do you know how cute you are even over the phone? "I'll be there in 10."

Chan and the rest of the crew are already inside the room when Jisung arrives. He slowly pulls up a chair beside you, trying his best to ignore your glare.

"About the wooden table we wanted last week, have we got it?" Chan asks.

Kim Seungmin, the head of production design team, nods his head. "The color is a bit different from your moodboard because the one you wanted was slightly more expensive than expected, is this still okay?" He pauses to show Chan a picture on his phone. The director examines it before passing Seungmin's phone to you. "What do you think, Y/N?"

"It's a bit different but still fits the overall mood in my opinion. A little bit warmer, but I don't think it will disturb the ambience."

Chan smiles. "Hmm, I agree. Good job, Seungmin. And that's it, everyone! Thank you for coming! We only have 3 more scenes to film so hang in there, okay?"

The whole room lets out sighs of relief, leaving the room one by one.

"Jisung, can I talk to you?"

"Just curse at me. You don't have to be so nice."

Chan laughs. "You know why I asked you to help me, right? I know what you're capable of, so tell me, what's bothering you?"

Jisung pulls out the film script from his backpack, showing Chan the parts he's circled with red marker. "I finished the scoring for other scenes, but I can never seem to think of anything that fits this one scene."

He has played the scene in his head over and over. The man confesses his feelings to the woman he loves dearly, but also says goodbye to her. The woman only nods, lips curling into a small smile, and waves him goodbye.

It doesn’t make sense. Why would they do that? People who love each other stay together unless their parents disagree or someone dies. Or at least, they try to be together until the feelings fade. Why would they say goodbye before even starting anything?

Chan stands up, patting Jisung on his back as he’s making his way to the door. “I don’t want to limit your creativity or make you create music only based on my vision, but here’s something to think about: sometimes it’s not about fate or timing. It’s about choice. See you next week, kids!”

Both of you slump into your chairs the moment he’s out of sight. “I hate it when he’s being cryptic like that. Why can’t he just tell you what he wants? He’s the director anyways, everything has to be according to his vision.” You turn to Jisung who’s scratching his head. “Please tell me you understood what he said.”

“I understand,” Jisung answers. “Well, theoretically. Do you?”

“No one will truly understand it the way Chan does, but I understand the message he wants to tell.”

“Will you just help me then?” Jisung begs. “We don’t have much time left and I’m sure you’ll kill me if I submit the demo a minute late so let’s make our lives easier and help each other out, shall we?”

Jisung does need help—especially since you’ll be extremely critical—but he also wants to spend more time with you. He doesn’t know if Minho going on dates motivates him to do the same, and that’s what he wants to figure out.

“Okay,” you say. “But the moment you annoy me too much I’ll leave you to rot alone”

Jisung smiles so brightly his cheeks hurt. “When do you finish class today?”

It wasn’t love at first sight. The first few weeks working with you was hard that he wanted to take a revenge on you by asking Minho to break your heart. His roommate specializes in breaking people’s hearts, but he figured you would break Minho’s heart instead.

After a while, Jisung would rather you break his heart than anybody else’s.

“I hope you like Americano,” Jisung says. You avert your gaze to two cups of Americano on the table, nodding as you sit in front of him. “Thanks. Is the cheesecake mine too?”

He chuckles, sliding the plate to you. “It’s mine, but you can have it. I wanted to buy you one but I don’t know what you like.”

“You dared to assume that I like Americano but couldn’t decide what cake I would like?”

Jisung wonders whether he should be honest with you.

“I almost did,” he confesses. “But buying you cake feels too personal, isn’t it? This will feel like a date.”

You unexpectedly pout, and Jisung almost has a heart attack. “Stop flirting, you’re so bad at it.”

“Once I start flirting for real, you’ll be madly in love with me in 10 minutes.”

You slide the plate back to him. “I don’t know why we’re having this conversation,” you sigh. “Let’s start. You’re the one who wants me to help you get your shit done.”

Jisung opens his laptop to show you his drafts. “I honestly don’t know if this scene is supposed to be sad,” he explains, playing one of them. You listen carefully, glancing at him every few seconds. When the music stops, you close his laptop.

“Do you believe in love, Han Jisung?”

Jisung stops slicing his cheesecake, puts his fork down, and looks into your eyes. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just answer me.”

“Yes? I’ve been in love before, that’s for sure.”

“Do you think the man loves the woman?”

“He does.”

You look satisfied with his answer. For a few minutes, you don’t ask him any other question, just sipping your coffee while examining your surroundings. “That’s it? You asked me all those big questions then just stopped?”

“Your theories are interesting,” you point out. “You believe in love and thinks that the couple needs to be together, but you’re not thinking from their perspective yet.”

“What’s your theory then?” he asks.

“My theories… about love?”

“Yeah. If you don’t mind sharing.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay, I think it will be fun. Well, this is what I’ve always believed in: boys like you will never be heartbroken.”

“Boys like me?”

“Boys like you, who date just for the sake of dating itself or getting laid.”

Jisung panics, waving his hands in front of your face. “Y/N I’m not some fuckboy I swear to God.”

“I know you’re not,” you clarify. “Boys like you just don’t think too much about anything, don’t really use your feelings. You date you when you want to date, break up when you want to break up, stay single for a while then starting to feel empty and thinking that dating someone is the only solution.”

“Aren’t we all like that?! Tell me you’ve never thought of going on Tinder when you’re lonely!” he protests. “For a film major, you have a lot of time.”

“I have to observe people in order to survive,” you laugh. “Where do you think I get ideas? It’s from other people.”

Jisung is still forming a smart comment in his head when you tilt your head, flashing him a smile so sweet like you didn’t just indirectly diss him. “Your turn. What’s your theory?”

It’s kind of hard to believe, but Jisung has quite a lot of theories about love. He’s not what you’ll call experienced, but he knows enough to come up with his own theories. “Which one hurts more, dumping someone or getting dumped?”

“Getting dumped, of course. That’s not even a theory anymore.”

Jisung wiggles his index finger. “It’s the other way around. Before you break up with someone, you think of hundreds of reasons—whether blaming yourself or the other person. You’ll keep thinking about things you hate about them and shitty experiences with them before coming up with a perfect breakup scenario. And the whole process, Princess, is agonizing.”

“Wow,” you breathe out, amazed. “You’re something else.”

“Jisung-ah!”

Minho jogs to your table, stopping when he realizes that Jisung isn’t alone. “Thank God I found you,” he whispers urgently. “Listen, I know you’re in the middle of a date but this is emergency.”

“What is it?”

“Are you coming home tonight?” Minho asks.

Jisung frowns. “Of course I am. I need to sleep so bad.”

“Are you sure? If so, then…” Minho proceeds to type something on his phone before passing it to Jisung. The latter coughs at the content, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket and handing it to Minho. “If you lose it I’m going to kill you,” he threatens.

“Are you sure you’re coming—”

“Don’t worry, he’s definitely coming home. I’m not sleeping with him if that’s what you’re implying.”

Minho laughs, bowing playfully at you as he backs away. “Good choice!” he yells. “Have fun, you two!”

You giggle while Jisung curses under his breath. “He asked you for a condom, didn’t he?” Once again, you casually smile at him, eyes twinkling. Jisung slowly nods, and you burst into a hearty laugh. “I caught you carrying condoms in your wallet after you insisted that you’re not a fuckboy. Nice move, Han Jisung.”

Jisung groans.

“Are you done?” Jisung asks over the phone. After your “date,” it’s become a routine for him to visit you at the bookstore you work at to discuss the project (while subtly flirting with you because he wants to see you getting all sassy).

“Not yet,” you answer lowly. “My manager is here. You can come inside and wait.”

He forces his legs to walk faster and enters the bookstore. You wave at him from the cashier, gesturing at him to sit on one of the benches. You continue to serve the remaining customers, smiling at Jisung once in a while. He finds himself returning your smile with a bigger one, and he wonders how to convince you that he’s not as bad and shallow as you think.

A crazy idea pops into his mind, causing his palms to sweat. But he wants to do it, to at least try and see how you react. Jisung’s heart races when you say goodbye to your manager and approach him. You nudge his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

You shiver as soon as you open the door. “Where do you want to work?”

Jisung gestures at you to keep walking, giving you his phone and airpods. “You can just listen and give me feedback. I’ll edit once I get home, you must be tired.”

You keep repeating the song throughout the way to the bus station. You turn to Jisung when you’re done, punching his arm lightly. “Well done, this is much better. You can actually show it to Chan.”

“No way. Really?”

You press play once again, bopping your head to the soft beats. “The man tells the woman he loves her after a long time. It’s a happy moment, an achievement. Then he bids her farewell because he knows—both of them know—that the relationship will end badly. It’s sad, but relieving because at least they know what they feel about each other. The music is not sad, but it’s not happy either. It’s hopeful because the characters are going to start another journey, although without each other.”

“But you end it with that little piano sounds, so there’s a tinge of sadness left,” you continue. “And that’s wonderful. I think Chan will like it a lot.”

Jisung lets out the breath he doesn’t know he was holding. “You interpret it better than I ever will,” he mutters. “Thank you. I hope Chan won’t fire me now.”

“He won’t. He loves you and knows you’re talented,” you tell him. “Will you help me for my future projects? We have to create a short film for finals. I haven’t told you this, but I really love your style. I wish I could hear your songs more often.”

“I-I could just, y-you know, write you songs,” Jisung stutters. This is it.  He has to tell you now or he will regret it for the rest of his life.

“Huh?”

“I can write you all the songs you want. I can even write songs about you.”

“What songs? Like diss tracks?”

“I take requests, so I can write you a diss track if you want me to. And I can definitely write love songs about you.”

“How is that possible? You’re unbelievable.”

Jisung stops, clearing his throat before focusing his eyes on you. “Date me,” he enunciates. “Date me, so I can write love songs about you. Maybe later you’ll realize that boys like me aren’t always fuckboys. At least, I’m not. And I’ll give you the privilege to break my heart. I know you can do it.”

You gape at him. “You’re asking me out just to test our theories?”

Great, you think that it’s a stupid idea. Of course it is, why would you want to date him just to—

“Okay,” you add. “I’ll go out with you.”

“Holy shit,” Jisung yelps. “I thought you would beat me up.”

Leaning on the lamppost, you wink at him. “It’ll be fun. But I’ll break all of your bones the moment you start disrespecting me.”

Jisung stands straighter at your tone. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“So, what now? You’re taking me home?” you suggest.

“If you’ll let me.”

You extend your hand, and Jisung quickly takes it before you change your mind. The two of you walk in comfortable silence until you reach your neighborhood. “Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?” Jisung shyly asks, tightening his grip on your hand.

“Sure!” you chirp, squeezing his hand before letting go. “Good night, Jisung.”

“Good night Y/N.”

You give him a small wave, a cheerful smile plastered on your face.

Jisung waves back, unable to erase the stupid grin on his face. Oh, you’re so going to break his heart, and he won’t even try to stop you.

Verse 2: “I just want to be yours, completely yours.”

“You did not just tell me you like horror movies.”

The two of you are currently standing in front of the self-ticket machine, bickering over what movie you should watch. In turns out, your movie taste clash; Jisung lives for horror movies while you despise them. People behind him start snickering, so Jisung pulls you away from the queue.

“While we’re at it, tell me what kind of movies you watch,” he begins, trying to hide his amusement at your frustration. “I love everything, except for horror. But the ones I often watch may put you to sleep.”

“And now, if you don’t want to watch It 2, what do you want to watch?”

“Nothing really interests me,” you express. “It’s fine, let’s just watch this. I’ll pick the movie next time.”

Jisung beams. “My princess is so understanding,” he coos.

You roll your eyes at him, but not pushing him away when he wraps his arm around your shoulder. “How do you not cringe everytime you call me that.”

He pokes your cheek. “Because I know you secretly like it, and I’ll do anything that makes you happy.”

“Wow, you sound like you’re really in love with me,” you blurt out, completely unaware of the effect your words have on him. Who knows? Maybe I will, soon.

Three hours later, Jisung figures that you’re already playing with his feelings. During the entire movie, you didn’t flinch nor close your eyes. You didn’t even hold his hand for support (to be very honest, Jisung was quite disappointed at this).

“Y/N.”

You get startled at his voice, automatically stopping on your track. “Now everything startles me.” You clutch your chest in shock. “I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“For someone who doesn’t like horror, you endured everything well inside the theater.”

“Curiosity always gets the best of me.”

“You could’ve chosen another movie, and I would be okay with that. Next time don’t force yourself, okay?”

“It’s something you love,” you explain. “I know you won’t force me to do things I don’t like, and I won’t force you either, but if it’s something that I can still tolerate then I don’t mind. It’s not like we can’t compromise, right?”

There you go, saying thoughtful things that warms Jisung’s heart so nonchalantly. He only hums in response, picking up his pace since you’ve started running. “I’m running late!” you half-yell before sprinting towards the bookstore.

After a few blocks, both of you arrive at the bookstore, almost running out of breath. Jisung fixes your hair in a haste. “I’ll pick you up later? Watch another movie, maybe? A funny one so you’ll be able to sleep?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just call you if Pennywise appears in my room.”

“Oh I’m sure you’re scarier than him, Princess, don’t worry.”

Jisung is prepared for a punch on his shoulder or strings of cussing words from you.

But you reward him with a peck on his cheek instead.

It’s been two hours since your shift was supposed to end, but Jisung hasn’t heard anything from you. His messages are unread and you won’t pick up his call. Minho watches his friend paces back and forth in the living room.

“Dude just pick her up or go to her place, you’re stressing me out!”

“I don’t know if she will like it. She did say I didn’t need to pick her up.”

“Are you really dating her? You’ve never been like this before.”

Jisung plops onto the sofa, massaging his temples. Minho won’t understand, especially since he’s the one who totally fits your “boys like you” criteria. “I am, but the whole thing is different.”

“Like, how?” Minho deadpans.

“We’re dating to test our theories about each other. About love.”

“So you two are just fooling around?”

“No!” Jisung insists. “It’s not like that. We’re dating, but I have to admit that things are getting more serious than I expected.”

Minho rubs his chin. “Isn’t that what you want? You seem to really like her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

The doorbell suddenly rings. Minho opens the door, surprised to see you there. “Y/N?” he gasps. “Are you okay? Are you crying?”

Jisung’s ears perk up at the word crying and he immediately rushes to you. He cradles your face, examining you from head to toe. “I was so worried Y/N. What the hell happened?” he questions. Minho grabs his phone and wallet from the buffet, mouthing that he’ll give the two of you some time alone.

You circle your arms around Jisung’s waist after Minho closes the door, wetting his sweatshirt with your tears. Jisung automatically takes you into his embrace, stroking your hair in the hopes of calming you down. “Some old man tried to make a pass at me,” you sob. “I almost slapped him but my friends stopped me. The owner has banned him from coming.”

Jisung tightens his hold on you, guilt starting to overtake him. He should have come to you, he should have just come to you. Why did he hesitate? “Motherfucker,” he splutters. “God—I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Why are you saying sorry?” you try to laugh. “I’m fine, Jisung. I’m just… mad. And a little bit scared, but I’m okay. Seriously though, men have no manners.”

“I know,” he replies. “I’m sorry. I hope it won’t ever happen again. I won’t let it happen, okay? I’ll keep you safe.”

You snort, pulling away to pinch his cheeks. “Then who’s gonna protect you? I know you watch horror movies well but everything else scares you.”

Jisung’s lips stretch into a loving smile, wiping your tears with his hands. “I’ll try my best. You can trust me,” he says. “Should I take you home now?”

You seem to consider his offer before burying your face in chest again. Jisung hopes you can’t hear his heart beating violently due to the close proximity. “Jisung, you okay?” you hum. “Your heart is beating so fast.”

Of course, he won’t be able to fool you.

“Yeah. I’m just glad you’re not hurt.”

“Can I sleep over?”

Jisung separates you from his body before you can hear his heart jumping out of its ribcage. “All I can think about is Pennywise now,” you sigh, searching for approval in his eyes. Jisung feels his legs weaken, so he squeezes your shoulders. “You sure? Do you feel comfortable sleeping in my room with Minho sleeping next door? Oh fuck it, why am I encouraging you to change your mind? Of course you can sleep over. You can trust me, and you can trust Minho too. And it’s not that I’ll even let him touch a strand of your hair!” he blabbers.

Your eyes light up at the mention of Minho’s name. “Lee Minho is hot, I don’t mind having him around.”

“You go around declaring that men have no manners and boys like me are fuckboys yet you don’t mind having Lee fucking Minho around?!”

Once again, you wrap your arms around his waist, and Jisung wastes no time in returning your hug although his eyes are angry now. “I have you, right? You’re not an asshole, you won’t let anything happen to me.”

Jisung sighs in defeat, resting his chin on top of your head. “You’re impossible.”

After putting you to bed (with much difficulty because you kept commenting at how messy his room is), Jisung finds himself lying on the couch, staring at his room. Minho is already back and is now asleep (but not before he gave his roommate a whole warning to not say anything that can damage Jisung’s reputation).

Are you sleeping well? Are you still sad? Do you really think that Minho is hot or were you just playing with him?

His questions seem to reach your mind because seconds later, you slide the door open. You walk towards him, kneeling down to see him better. “JIsung-ah,” you call out softly. “Are you asleep?”

Jisung blinks, heat rising to his cheeks because you’re staring at him so intensely. “Not yet. What is it? You can’t sleep?”

“You can sleep inside, it’s cold out here,” you whisper. “It’s fine, I can sleep anywhere like a log.” He rubs your hand. “Go back to sleep.”

Jisung sits up when you don’t budge. “What if I also want you to be next to me?” you murmur, but he hears everything loud and clear. He carries you back inside his room with saying a word, hoping that this isn’t just a test he will fail.

He lays you down gently, which surprises himself since he tends to do everything in a rush. Jisung settles himself beside you, ready to finally sleep when you scoot closer and put your arms around his torso. “Thank you for today,” you say.

Jisung turns around to face you, slowly pulling you into his arms. “What did I do?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“Being there for me,” you reply. “You didn’t doubt me, you didn’t blame me.”

Jisung lifts your chin so he can look into your eyes. “Why would I blame you? You really should’ve kicked that man’s ass.”

You break into a smile, and Jisung can’t hold himself anymore. The feeling of you in his embrace, your smile, the way you look at him, and the warmth of your words are driving him crazy. Jisung realizes it’s always been like that since the very first time he met you: you’ve always driven him crazy.

“Y/N.” He licks his lips. “I want to start over. I want us to date without thinking about the goddamn theories. I don’t care about them anymore. I just want to be yours, completely yours. I’m not saying this only because I want to date, I only want to date you. And I don’t want to think about breaking up with you once we finish proving those theories. I won’t be able to handle it, I like you too much.”

You blink at him, staring at him long and intense Jisung feels like burning. You cup his face, tilting your head to peck him on the lips. It ends way too soon for his liking, but he already wants to faint.

“Aren’t I your Princess already? That means you’re automatically mine.”

Jisung chuckles, a huge burden is lifted off his chest as you snuggle to him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Nice move, Han Jisung. Confessing to me when I’m in your bed and feeling sentimental as hell.”

“Sorry Princess, but you’re too irresistible. I just gotta make you mine right here, right now.”

“Go to sleep.”

“As you wish,” he sighs dreamily, peppering kisses on the top of your head until you fall asleep.

“Where are you? The food is ready.”

Jisung rummages through his pile of clothes on the floor, picking up a random black shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. His phone is on the bed, speaker on so he could actually get ready while you’re hollering at him.

“I’ll be on my way soon, Princess. Please don’t get mad,” he pleads.

“I took a day off from my part-time job for you, Jisung. But you’re acting like my time isn’t precious at all,” you answer, a little softer this time. Jisung chews the inside of his cheek; you’re right. He’s always late although he barely has time to meet you thesedays.

He swears he doesn’t mean to, but whenever he’s about to meet you, misfortunes always happen: his alarm doesn’t go off, he has an appointment he can’t cancel, or he’s too tired to get out of his bed. You get into petty arguments whenever you meet, but you forgive him every single time although Jisung himself knows he’s being stubborn. As he slips on his shirt, Jisung wonders if this is the beginning of the end.

“Okay,” you finally mumble. “Be careful.”

Jisung ends the call, running as fast as he can to your apartment complex. He considers taking the stairs, but remembers that you live on the 20th floor and decides to wait for the elevator. When he finally enters your flat, his eyes brim with tears.

You’re sleeping on the sofa, two portions of jjajjangmyeon along with a bowl of caramel popcorn are on the table. The television is on, ready to play Along with the Gods because Jisung wants to re-watch it tonight.

He’s the luckiest man on Earth yet he keeps disappointing you. It pains him how small mistakes may really destroy both of you.

Jisung crouches down, wiping his tears quickly before planting a kiss on your lips. You stir, opening your eyes.

“Hi,” you yawn. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“I missed you,” Jisung rasps. “So much.”

He pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, his tense muscles relaxing when you hum knowingly against his skin. “I missed you too. Wanna talk about it?” you offer, patting his back softly.

“About what?”

“You had a bad day.”

“And you’re sleepy,” he retorts. “Let’s just sleep.”

“Not before you tell me what’s bothering you.”

Jisung gives up, deciding to tell you how swamped he is with projects and how everything doesn’t seem to go his way. You listen to him—although through half-lidded eyes—giving him all suggestions and reassurance he doesn’t even know he needs.

Sometimes Jisung still thinks about the theories both of you wanted to prove months ago. He remembers how sure he was that yours was wrong. He was not an insensitive asshole.

Maybe he is now. And you don’t deserve it.

The thing is, Jisung is selfish. Losing you is something he fears the most, and now, surrounded by your warmth and soft caresses, he makes a silent promise to fix everything. To make himself worthy of you and your love again.

“Y/N.” He lifts himself up just enough to see your face, smiling at your sleepy face. “I love you.”

You freeze, eyes boring into his, trying to look for traces of lies. He stays in his position and waits for you to say something, anything, before his heart explodes and breaks into a million pieces.

“You do, now?” you reply, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

Jisung waits for you to say it back, but you soon fall asleep in his arms.

Jisung had the best dream ever. He dreamed of going on vacation with you, and you always wore your brightest smile that he loved so much.  But that wasn’t even the best part.

In his dream, you told him that you loved him.

In reality, Jisung wakes up to an empty bed. He checks his phone, relieved to see some messages from you.

princess : hv some cereal before you go, but pls wash the dishes

princess: dont forget to make the bed or ur dead

me: im a slave 4 u, ma’am, dont worry

The tone of your messages doesn’t change, and for now it’s enough to soothe his heart. Jisung makes the bed as you requested before examining your room. He’s seen all his photos you pinned on the wall, but now you’ve written comments underneath some of them.

Jisung’s eyes fall on a photo of him munching on his chocolate. The comment reads, “Please eat more, you’re too skinny.”

Another photo sees him sitting in front of his laptop with his headphones on. “You’re the coolest composer, you know that, right?”

Jisung recognizes the last photo as the one taken during one of your beach dates (in which he dragged Minho to be his designated photographer). You had begged him for a piggy back ride, and he eventually caved. Jisung flaunted his gummy smile as you pressed your lips on his right cheek. Underneath the photo, you wrote, “Jisung-ah, I’m so happy with you. Thank you.”

He wonders why you keep all these thoughts to yourself. These are your love letters for him, they beat all the “Han Jisung, I love you too” scenarios Jisung have inside his head. Why wouldn’t you just tell him that? Is it because he hasn’t been the best boyfriend thesedays?

After taking a photo of your “love shrine” (for blackmail purposes), Jisung leaves his notebooks inside one of your drawers, the ones filled with lyrics he wrote for you and about you. You wrote him the sweetest love letters, and he’s going to fulfill the promise he made when he asked you out.

You deserve to know every little detail of his feelings for you.

“Y/N… about last night… are you mad at me? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You stop flicking through channels, dropping the remote to ponder Jisung’s question. “Yeah, I am,” you admit. “But we’ve fought enough. I don’t wanna waste my energy.”

“So you’re going to let me be a jerk?! What if I never snapped out of it? What if I never apologized to you? Or feel guilty?! You have to beat the shit out of me, Y/N. You can’t be this nice!”

You prop your chin on your knees, closing your eyes. “Last night, I planned to break up with you.”

Jisung pales at your confession. “Princess, I’m—”

“Please hear me out first,” you cut him off. “These past few weeks have been tough, I honestly thought you cheated on me. When you were late again last night, I told myself to end things with you. But then I fucking fell asleep, and then as soon as I saw you, I didn’t want to do it anymore. Plus you looked like a mess last night.”

“I kept wondering if we’re trapped in a toxic relationship. And it angered me. I hated myself for keep wanting to forgive you. When you told me that you love me… I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know whether you were being sincere or just caught up in the moment.”

Tears start rolling down your cheeks. “That’s why I didn’t answer. This morning, I decided to give you one last chance.”

“Did I… ruin it?” Jisung asks sheepishly, wiping your tears gently.

You shake your head. “I acted like nothing happened, but you still apologized. And complained about me not telling you about this sooner.”

“So that means…?”

“That means,” you begin. “Your theory is right. Dumping someone feels worse than getting dumped. Yesterday, memories of us fighting flooded my mind as I created a whole speech in my head about how much I hated you. It made me wanna explode, and that was the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. Resentment is tiring, but the moment you stepped into the living room I know I don’t hate you.”

Jisung heaves a sigh of relief, placing his hand on top of yours carefully. “And your theory is wrong. You broke my heart. You truly did. I told you I love you, and when you didn’t say it back… I felt horrible... although I know it’s all my fault. You have me wrapped around your finger, Princess, I hope you know that.”

“Anyways, I saw your lovely comments for me on the photos,” he teases, knowing you meant to keep it a secret.

“Fucking hell!” you yell. “I forgot to hide them!”

“Why don’t you tell me now, then.”

Your lips curl into a teasing smile. “If I tell you I love you now, will you kiss me?”

Before you even properly say it, Jisung is already hovering over you, cupping your face and crashing his lips on yours. It just occurs to him that he’s never kissed you like this; it was always light pecks here and there. Jisung doesn’t know how he survived that, because nothing beats feeling your lips moving against his. Nothing beats the feeling of you tugging his hair, sighing in contentment when he starts exploring your warm mouth. Jisung tries to remember every single sensation; the way you curl your arms around his neck, the way you keep pulling him down to you as if he’s not close enough, the way you squirm as he nibbles your bottom lip gently.

“I love you,” you whisper in between feverish kisses he leaves every now and then. He pauses, finally letting himself breathe. You hold stars in your eyes, and those stars are all for him to see. It’s overwhelming, so all Jisung does is pressing another kiss on your lips. Moments later, when the lack of oxygen forces him to stop, he pulls away.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, trying to stop himself from kissing you again because he needs to tell you this first.

“For…?”

“Loving me.”

Chan’s graduation project has finally been screened, earning a standing ovation from everybody present. He invited all his crew to dinner, which has turned into a congratulatory party for Jisung and you. “You two didn’t disappoint me,” Chan exclaims. “I guess you’re the reason why Jisung finished his demo early, right Y/N?”

You wink cockily at him. “Han Jisung is nothing without me.”

Chan ruffles your hair before raising his hand to get everyone’s attention. “My last few months as a student felt amazing thanks to you guys. I’m sure you all know how thankful I am for each of you, so I won’t bore you with my speech. Now, Seungmin, I believe you have something to say.”

Kim Seungmin stands up, unfolding a piece of paper that sparks mixed reactions from the crowd. “Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin, Choi Jisu,” he announces. “Each of you owes ₩20,000 to me, Chan, and Shin Yuna because you guys freaking lost!” He claps, then turning to both of you. “Jisung and Y/N, thank you for making us rich!”

Everyone cheers while you and Jisung look dumbfounded. “All of you bet on us?!” you scream in disbelief. “Whoa I can’t believe you guys! Even you, Chan?”

The senior only chuckles. “Everyone was stressed out at how slow you two were but you guys were so annoyingly cute we couldn’t help ourselves!”

Seungmin collects all the money from the lost participants before distributing it to each of the winners. When he gets to Chan, the latter shakes his head. “Just use the money for round 2, I’ll pay the rest as well.”

The whole room cheers again, quickly getting up from their seats and debating about which place to go. You immediately start interrogating Seungmin, wanting to know what exactly happened during the whole production process.

Jisung taps Chan’s shoulder. “I believe I haven’t thanked you.”

Chan frowns. “For what?”

Jisung slips his hands into his jeans pocket, smiling at you as you turn around to check on him. “For making the whole project happened. For the whole, ‘Sometimes it’s not about fate or timing. It’s about choice.’ It kept me going, even when I thought Y/N and I weren’t meant to be. There are times when we just have to keep trying, aren’t we?”

“Well, thank you for remembering what I said. But it wasn’t me. It happened because you did try, Jisung. All of us have to make choices at some point, but not a lot of people actually have strength and will to do that. You did, so kudos to you. I’m trying to do the same myself, wish me luck, okay?”

Jisung snorts. “This is getting sappy, but thank you. And I will.”

Both boys laugh, exchanging playful slaps on each other’s back until you come up to them.

“Hey Chan, can I borrow Jisung for a sec?”

Chan shoves Jisung towards you. “If I catch you two sneaking out before round 2 is done, I’ll end you!”

You wave at Chan, and Jisung is now glued to your side. “What is it?” he asks, wrapping his arms around your shoulder. “I found your notebooks.”

He grins. “You did? I thought I’d have to tell you about them. They’re nice, right? I’ve recorded some of them, I’ll let you listen later.”

You cross your arms. “The ones in the black notebook are nice. I’m a goddess and I agree. But what are you gonna say about the red notebook?”

Jisung smirks at your question, dropping a quick kiss on your lips. “What about it? You wanna make everything I wrote there come true? I can do that, Princess. Whenever you want,” he whispers seductively.

His original plan was only to leave you the black notebook that contains all the sweetest lyrics he’s ever written. But then he thought it wouldn’t be fair if you only know that side of him. You have every right to know about his sexy thoughts too.

“I just want you to know me. All of me. And everything I feel about you, including the things I really, really want to do to you,” he continues.

You tiptoe to whisper into his ear, “Maybe later.”

“Later?!” Jisung shouts. “Later as in tonight?!”

You shrug, and now Jisung is dragging you to the opposite direction of where his friends are going. “Chan hyung! You can nag us later but we really need to go home right now!”

Everyone whistles, including Chan, so Jisung takes it as a yes and quickens his pace. You, meanwhile, are looking at the snacks stalls along the street.

“I’m still hungry. Let’s stop by to buy hotteok first.”

Groaning in frustration, Jisung knows he has no choice but to follow you. As he watches you enjoying your hotteok, he thinks about the moment when he desperately wanted to prove you wrong.

Jisung has nothing to prove now. You gave his heart a chance. You gave him a chance, and he’ll make sure to cherish you as long as he can.

more a/n: and it’s done! This story seems simple but writing it, I think the theme is a little bit hard to grasp. I hope you guys can understand everything that Jisung feels... 

[twinsoftriumph]

@magicalballerinaprincess submitted:

Hhhihdfhg I don’t want to seem suddenly obsessed but it’s 2:20am and my sleep cycle is in shambles. This strikes me as something you’d like. I have a pet theory that the king cast out the elders from the court, isolating himself to his eventual destruction. however, the elders still all guide you towards the castle- even though they were thrown away, they still want to save the king from himself. And and and!! The king no longer physically exists, but sacrifices pieces of his soul to become skykids so he can fix what he messed up. It’s an endless cycle: The elders don’t know he’s beyond saving and the king doesn’t know they forgive him. Happy stupid in the morning, half past Ass AM, enjoy your Angst(tm)

omg well for starters please take care of yourself although i totally understand how it feels to not have a good sleep cycle 😭

i love this theory though!! and i myself have always definitely thought that there was some sort of rift created between the king and the elders mostly from tidbits of concept art like the fact that only he is corrupted and i believe it also mentions the elders corrupted his crown? AND LIKE i know that some parts of the concept art lore dont hold up in the current game but i definitely think this is a part that could!!!

ive never thought about the fact that the king could be sacrificing himself to restore the stars though :o in my mind i usually see him as just a entity that doesn't really have a 'human' conscience anymore, the storm itself etc but thats a really interesting take and would certainly also make sense! the elders and ancestors of the sky kingdom is working to help restore what they themselves once destroyed, i don't see why the king can't also be a part of that!

this is kinda getting into territory of personal rambled but it kind of reminds me about that one post about death, how death doesn't always have to be personified as merciless and greedy to take lives. rather, it simply embraces whoever dies when their time comes and those who defy death even to its face. and seeing as how the eye of eden represents death in the stages of life, it could very much parallel that kind of concept. obviously there are differences in that idea of death vs the game because every sky kid dies in the same manner, and it's not exactly pleasant; your life force is literally drained from you slowly until you reach your limit. but what im getting at i think is that considering their mission and the manner in which life exists in sky (not the same as human life, constant reincarnation), the existence of eden (while violent and accidental) is also very much a means to an end to achieve balance!

i'm sure that at some point the king was greatly revered as well..... the one who brought the power of the stars to their world, the almighty elder who gave each other elder their powers.. which makes a world where the elders wish to save him despite their history + the fact that he cannot be saved even sadder :(

edit: also i hope this makes sense LOL im not always the best at explaining my thoughts

[auredosa]

Hej! I have seen that you make a lot of theories about Hitman and I love it! Im always into theorising about the characters, who they are, characterisations etc. So I wanted to ask you, what do you think are the four main char tees for people? How would you describe 47, Diana, Grey and Olivia as characters? What are they doing in their life? Do you have any guesses about that? I would be interested in to hear!

Heya anon! Yes, I’m super into analyzing the HITMAN franchise and its characters. I think it’s so fascinating to pick apart their motives, and how they carry out their agendas. Really, I just love plotting them on an alignment chart. Here’s what I’ve got for all four of them, but be warned, it’s a doozy!

Olivia Hall

In order to understand who Olivia is as a character, you need to understand her backstory. Olivia was essentially adopted by Grey when she was 7. Grey was working as a mercenary in Sierra Leone, and met Olivia as a child=soldier. Grey, in pity and rage at her situation, took her away, and got her a good education. They’ve been together through thick and thin.

What you need to get from this is that from a very young age, Olivia has been exposed to violence. She understands that using force is a surefire way to get what you want. She also has a bone to pick with the privileged organizations in the world who force innocents to fight their wars for them. Like Grey, she has noble intentions, and is willing to do terrible things because the ends justify the means.She’s more realistic than Grey, in that she doesn’t believe in “hearts and flowers crap” (as evidenced by her dialogue in the “Homecoming” cinematic) and doesn’t like to take chances of having hopeful things.

In the future, I can see Olivia carrying on the fight against greedy and corrupt organizations in the world. After Grey either dies, decides to settle down with his brother, or just chooses to retire from the whole mercenary thing, Olivia will probably continue to take down people like Providence with her hacking skills. After all, she’s young, he’s not. She’s Grey’s successor, in a way. The song “Ruckus” by Konata Small really just explains her entire character. 

Diana Burnwood

Man, is Diana one tough woman! Like Olivia, Diana fights for what’s right, and she’s not afraid to go rogue or disobey her superiors to carry out her own agenda. However, in contrast to Grey and Olivia, she has standards, and adheres to her own moral code no matter what. Unfortunately, as I covered in this post, she works for an organization that prides itself on being amoral, and while she herself may not be, she’s still complying with the exact kind of people Olivia and Grey despise.

We also have to talk about her relationship with 47. I think that in addition to being a good friend, Diana’s also a mentor for 47 in finding his humanity, as the devs had said themselves, she’s his conscience. She acknowledges and supports 47’s determination to take down the Partners, but she also wants him to do so in a way that won’t reduce him to an anarchist. 47 is a blank slate here, and she doesn’t want him to become a spite-filled abuser-of-force like Grey. She’s the mom-friend. However, I also think she’d recognize that some people deserve what’s coming. If Grey doesn’t change his tune, I don’t think she’ll be going out of her way to save him, unless, of course, she sees that 47 wants to see his brother alive.

I feel like Diana’s at a crossroads here. She can either remain loyal to the ICA, and remain on the side of the oppressor, or, she can go full rogue like Grey for their cause. Honestly, I don’t think her story will end with her doing either. We’ve seen Diana go rogue to pull off elaborate schemes to reform the ICA before, I don’t see why she couldn’t do it . . . again. (Seriously, did IO have to completely copy the story from Blood Money to Absolution for WoA?) She’s not going to let the ICA keep abusing their amoral privilege, but she also doesn’t want to stoop to the levels of Grey and start using violence to achieve her means. If she doesn’t get shot dead in HITMAN 3, I would love to see her become Head of the Board of the ICA.

Lucas Grey

I guess the great thing about already having milked this man’s character dry is that I know exactly what to write here! Simply put, Lucas Grey is blinded by revenge and is stooping down to the level of his oppressors in an attempt to free himself. Even though he's the clone that escaped the facility, Lucas Grey is the most trapped person in the Hitman series. He's lived his entire life filled with spite and hatred against those who have wronged him, and his desire to see them destroyed has completely consumed him. He think that destroying Providence and, mercilessly manipulating, killing and stepping over those who stand in his way is noble and vigilant. He believes that doing this will bring him closure and satisfaction, but in reality, he's only stooping down to his oppressors' level and becoming the very thing he sought out to destroy. He might not be operating on behalf of Province, but he has hurt countless people, deserving of punishment or not, in pursuit of his own goals, and this, in and of itself, makes him just as bad as Edwards and the Partners.

What he fails to realize is that it's not enacting revenge against the world that will make him satisfied, it's separating his identity from what Providence wanted him to be, and freeing himself from the cage that he's placed himself in. He's similar to Beneatha Younger from A Raisin in the Sun, in terms of how they play into the will of others. He insists that he's a free man, but he constantly asserts that he's defined by the cruel world he's been thrust into. His entire life's purpose is get even with Providence, and nothing more. Even if he and 47 manage to eliminate each of their affiliates and liquidate every of their assets, until he learns to break free and put his life towards something on his own terms, Lucas will never truly be free from the hold of Providence.

Now, there are two ways this can go: Either, Grey realizes that using force to eliminate all who’ve wronged him doesn’t make him better than them, and he stops, and settles down in Gontranno with his brother. Or, he insists that all that matters to him is getting even, and he either dies for his cause, gets arrested, or gets marked as a terrorist and gets himself assassinated, or something like that. I think he truly does care for 47 and his well being, and I think he wants to rekindle a relationship with him independent of Providence, the ICA, whatever. Really, this man needs to get his priorities straight. And hopefully, Diana, Olivia, and 47 will help him realize he can be so much more than just a martyr.

Agent 47

Honestly, this man’s a bit of a wild card. He doesn’t care about politics, morals, or any of the things that shape the above character. And that, in and of itself, makes him the most vulnerable. You can’t fight a war if you don’t know what you’re fighting for. Yes, he’s in agreement with Grey and their goal of eliminating the Partners, but what comes after that? I honestly cannot predict what he’d do, because there’s no motive in him beyond that. All we know is that he seems content to be an assassin, he’s fine using force, taking orders, and complying with his superiors. Seems bleak, right?

Well, no, not really. There’s a line that Edwards drops as you’re escorting him to the boat in the Isle of Sgail mission: “Interesting. The good doctor built his serum specifically to target the seats of your emotions. Has Miss Burnwood’s sense of justice rubbed off on you, I wonder?” Followed by 47 saying, “Just keep walking.” I think that, from a theorist’s viewpoint, we could interpret this as 47 admitting that yes, Diana’s sense of justice has rubbed off on him. He’s just still grappling with it, and doesn’t know where he stands. Does 47 necessarily share Diana’s sentiment of remaining neutral in the grand scheme of things? Hard to tell.

I think 47 will soon have to make a decision as to who, and what, he’s going to fight for. My current prediction is that he’ll roll with his brother and his brute-force playing-dirty plan, for now, just because he really wants to take down the Partners, but after that, he might try to convince Grey to, you know, stop the bloodshed. Or, if my current theory about Grey being after the ICA is right, maybe 47 will have to convince Grey that the ICA doesn’t need to be taken down, kill Grey, or pressure Diana to tell her higherups to become more vigilant. Considering that he’s still suspicious of Grey in cutscene before the Bank mission, and the fact that Diana and 47 have spent 20+ years together, I think he’ll remain loyal to Diana at the end of the day. Let’s pray that Grey won’t kill his own brother if, or when, their paths separate.

. . . I mean, my ideal ending? They all go back to a reformed ICA, taking down corrupt people who deserve it and using diplomacy when they can. Olivia gets hired as a hacker, or becomes Grey and 47′s new handler, Diana becomes head of the board (and still keeps in touch with 47, because duh, unbreakable bond), and Grey and 47 are just tag-teaming assignments all badass movie-like. After all, the family that slays together stays together!