#im sick and they told me to put on a mask and work anyways
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*clears throat* excuse me, *lets out long winded scream*
#i hate being autistic#i hate being alive#i hate working#i hate my job#i wish i knew what to do#i wish i knew what would work for me#im so lucky everything always works out for me#universe please help me out here#im about to scream#im sick and they told me to put on a mask and work anyways#my manager stayed home for a migrane#but here i am at work with covid symptoms bc#just wear a mask#jfc
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silly rant<3
hey so what is the cutoff between whats considered masking and whats considered lying i am asking this as a liar lol. like i find it interesting as fuck genuinely where is the line meant to be drawn. i do believe a lot of autistic people who mask and cant discern this line end up overcorrecting severely and developing what's called a personality disorder and like there are studies around this diagnosis massively being a thing that people get when theyve gone their whole lives unsupported for autism/adhd because sometimes the response to that is i need to do absolutely anything to be perceived as a human being and i dont know what it is about me thats so inhuman so ill just become an entirely different person for everyone i meet i guess. because u get to a point where u realise that social cues are not a static thing and that every allistic person actually has their own seperate set of rules for how to act and they all act like that is inherently the way ur meant to act but fucking somehow simultaneously all of them know how to abide by each others social rules even though theyre all different, and u go fucking insane and then come to the conclusion that the only way to be able to speak the same language as these people is to completely lose ur identity to whoever u are talking to in the moment. and then the more u hang out with anyone the more you lose of yourself and u do it so hard and for so long that you end up not being able to shut it off for people who genuinely dont care how u act and u cant actually tell when youre lying anymore and you dont even know if you lied about being sick in the first place and just made urself this way and when u try to get help for this all of the resources are like "this is an evil manipulative thing that evil people do" and its like. so first of all people who are traumatized into defaulting to manipulative behaviours are not evil people and they dont deserve to be demonized but also i never lied to make anyone do anything for me i lied to protect myself from being treated like a monster how could i ever possibly explain myelf how do u undo a damage like that without making someone come to the conclusion that u were using them. it is such an intricate process untangling all the little strands of lies with someone u know and is it even possible to do it fully without making the person feel like u were only friends with them to make them adore u or get them to give u things. like i swear to god no lie i have ever told anyone about myself was for any ulterior motive i dont even like being around people. i just didnt want to be a freak anymore. and then being a freak was cool so i was a freak but not a REAL FREAK i still was just some other person my entire fucking life has just been observing peoples interactions and going oh that got a positive reaction ill try that. and then i try it and its like oh no one liked that. what were the variables. i need to know the variables but i can never repeat this experiment again because i cant actually deal with getting another negative reaction my heart cant take it when they look at me like that when they realise im a fake person just pretending to be human why did it work with that other person and not me what the fuck did i do wrong. and u cant exactly go and tell this to ur therapist who smokes freuds cock for breakfast because u will just get "liar" put on ur file and lose even more of ur autonomy and make it even less likely for people to believe u when u report psychiatric abuse. anyway peace and love on planet earht the camera zooms out to a blue sky and polka dot house and i am waving at u from below with my dog goodbye!!!!!!!!!!!!bye!!!!
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so last night my son was up all night (from 2am) and was super affectionate and giving loads of kisses and cuddles and he also kept coughing on me as he has a cold (had it for a week now) anyway at 4am he mentioned suddenly his belly hurt, so i kept my distance but after a minute or 2 he was fine so i kept giving him kisses and cuddles (i hadnt seen him all day so i was missing him) anyway half an hour later hes crying because hes cold but i assumed it was because the house was cold in general and soon enough he was ok again and eventually went bed at 5am. anyway at 8am my husband woke up with our son and soon our son started crying his belly hurt and he was very cold but then was ok, he had a slight accident (number 2) but not D* from what i could see, so i helped clean him up but i was getting really scared because he seemed kinda off, so i went out for a few hours just in case my husband agrees its best so i dont freak out and stress everyone, so im gone till 12:30pm, my sons eaten (ate around 10:40/11) and been totally fine and i got back and he had a lolly pop and was dancing and singing and really happy just slightly grumpy randomly but he hadnt slept much so i thought ok hes fine im just overeacting although he did say he felt weak but again he didnt sleep much at all, so i went for a nap and at 2:21 he came into my room and gave me a cuddle and kiss and left, at 2:23 hes been s*, i hate to admit it but i ran out the house
i had to run past him and the toilet to get out the house (i didnt have time to put a face mask on so i just covered my mouth and nose with my tshirt) and apparently hes eating happily and is fine and he told me two days ago a girl in his class was s* but was ok so they didnt send her home afterwards so im guessing this is a sv*
im so scared ill get sick, im currently hiding at a relatives house and i dont even know what to expect, did i expose loads of the sv* to myself or did my panicking make me less exposed? i have no idea whats going to happen to me and i feel like the worst mum in the world.
my usual anti emetics expired literally a few days ago, but my mum gave me hers which ive never taken before metoclopramide, so i dont know how well they work and i only have 4
Part 1
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fluff/relationships w the liyue crew
characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli
ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(
all x a gn! reader
my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit
an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people
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xiao
ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor
he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm
but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)
you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)
so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???
but,,,he’s so sOFT for you
if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat
but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you
he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu
while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp
you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it
even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd
so so so cute very soft for him
i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands
the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better
after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor
personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)
mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever
it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal
he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh
he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head
you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard
these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing
he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap
all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it
this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3
childe
god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager
there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???
is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)
i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)
loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking
domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3
absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public
he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy
you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there
he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️
he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie
he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain
speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head
well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite
it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does)
his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart
not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀
it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute
bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage
i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”
so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some
LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS
he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough
he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands
it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while
all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏
beidou
you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)
god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis
anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie
not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary
she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land
it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,)
when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored
she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea
she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise
definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn
she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself
miss girl is an AMAZING cook
i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all
whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out
pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest
brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical
she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to
definitely the type to surprise you when she docks
i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)
will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue
for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander
she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES
they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you
yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something
“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky
kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv
anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for
zhongli
ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on
this man,,, THIS MAN
everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful
in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping
holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it
secretly loves it when you fuss over him
he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)
not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse
but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound
“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”
you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″
when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him?
he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest
he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute
in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up
he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg
domesticity go brrrr
if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together
he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck
his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing
you’ve broken him
thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day
he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3
scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!!
the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)
recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met
zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon
thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3
#teethrottingfluff#xiao x reader#childe x reader#zhongli x reader#beidou x reader#genshin impact#genshin headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin scenarios#childe genshin impact#zhongli genshin impact#xiao genshin impact#beidou genshin impact#genshin fluff#tartaglia#childe#kaeya#zhongli#beidou#xiao
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just friends
cedric diggory x female!reader
warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh
very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.
from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.
she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.
he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.
he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.
he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.
he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.
“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?
class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”
he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.
“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.
she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“
but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”
“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”
he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.
“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”
she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”
“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.
“didn’t feel like talking about it then”
“we can talk about it now”
“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”
“what are you trying to avoid?”
she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.
“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.
“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”
“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”
“cedric just drop it”
“so it was him then”
she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.
“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”
the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.
“it just does and i want to know”
“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“
“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”
she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.
“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”
“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”
she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.
“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.
he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.
her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.
he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”
her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.
their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.
the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.
he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.
#cedric diggory x reader#cedric diggory#cedric diggory fluff#cedric diggory angst#cedric diggory x female reader#cedric diggory imagine#friend to lovers
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no regrets (8/8) | r.b.
summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.
WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k
a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh
masterlist
crossposted on ao3 x
Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.
I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.
What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.
You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.
Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care.
I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.
Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.
im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I
Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.
I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.
Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.
I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up.
Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time.
I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that.
wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.
Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.
Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.
My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.
I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but
With love,
Rienr
You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.
You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.
They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.
“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.
“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms.
“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”
“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”
“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”
Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.
When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.
You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.
Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone.
“For your services to the Survey Corps.”
There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.
“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile.
The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.
.
Distantly, he remembers flashes.
Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.
How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.
He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.
How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.
When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.
“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”
Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted.
Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.
Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.
The ring. You’re wearing it. You…
For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.
“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.
“So are you.”
And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing.
Maybe they are.
He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.
Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.
You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”
Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”
Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”
Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows.
“Okay.”
When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it?
It has to be.
You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.
But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality.
The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him.
He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing.
Why him?
As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.
“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”
“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”
And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.
Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.
Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.
Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.
And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.
“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”
The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.
“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”
And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.
.
Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.
There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up.
Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.
Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks.
For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.
Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.
.
Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field.
It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.
Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.
He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.
“Eren… where are we?”
“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”
A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.
“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”
His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.
And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”
Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.
Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.
“Marco! Sasha!”
Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.
He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—
“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.
Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.
I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop.
Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—
You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.
Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.
He’s gone.
A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.
“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.
Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.
Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you.
“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”
Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything.
You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.
He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.
It’s over.
The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.
Just like he promised.
You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.
[THREE YEARS LATER]
Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing.
Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner.
How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.
And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.
Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.
But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.
Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach.
Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.
Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.
You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.
Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.
“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years.
“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.
A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”
“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.
“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.
“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”
“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.
“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.
Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.
Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.
“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise.
“To protect the both of us,” you explain.
“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”
You nod. “Listen to Levi.”
“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”
This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.
As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.
And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.
“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.
So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.
Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.
Hope for the future, and all that.
She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.
“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”
“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”
“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”
You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.
Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.
“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.”
Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off.
You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.
If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.
You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.
Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.
“You guys okay?”
“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you.
“I think it’s charming.”
She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head.
“Soon may the Wellerman come…”
A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.
Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.
Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.
She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.
You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.
#fic: homebound#reiner braun#reiner braun x reader#reiner braun x you#reiner braun imagine#reiner braun fic#reiner x reader#reiner x you#aot#aot x reader#aot x you#attack on titan#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan x you#attack on titan fanfiction#snk#snk x reader#snk x you#shingeki no kyojin x reader#my writing
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:( burned my fingers on liquid nitrogen at work again. also my girlfriend has covid from a work conference they just got back from. i’m pretty sure i also have covid as a result. my boss told me i had to come in to work today anyway since i wasn’t unambiguously symptomatic or testing positive and Many People Are Close Contacts But Do Not Transmit, but i was very very sleepy all day and now my throat is starting to hurt so i am not optimistic. i did warn everyone and double mask and work not to ever be in a small or closed room with people but it was hard to achieve and idk how well it worked.
im nervous i won’t test + until after tomorrow even if i still feel sick and will have to make some challenging choices vis a vis insisting on not going to work. but i put in a pcr today so.... hopefully............
#box opener#😬#i know i buried the lede hear but the liquid nitrogen burn making it unpleasant to type was what was foremost in my mind when i#started writing the post#and verisimilitude is an important part of the process.
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confessions; but not remembering it
ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader
genre: fluff
masterlist
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo
» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you
» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!
» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"
» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"
» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"
» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.
» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"
» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.
» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.
» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.
» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"
» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.
» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.
» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.
» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."
» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.
» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.
» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled
» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.
» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.
» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes
» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.
» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.
» "huh? but practice is-"
» "please l/n san. for me"
» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.
» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step
» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"
» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.
» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.
» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"
» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.
» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"
» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.
» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.
» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.
» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.
» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"
» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say
» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"
» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.
» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.
» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"
» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"
» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.
» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.
» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"
» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line
» "i like you a lot too l/n san"
» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT
» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something
» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.
» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK
» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"
» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"
» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"
» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.
» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.
» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.
» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point
» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that
» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.
» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted
» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.
» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"
» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.
» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.
» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"
» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?
» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.
» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.
» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.
» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.
» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!
» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.
» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"
» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."
» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.
» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.
» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.
» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.
» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.
» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.
» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.
» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"
» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.
» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"
» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.
» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
thank you for your order! enjoy~!
#haikyuu x reader#hq fluff#haikyuu fluff#yinny!drabbles#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa fluff#kita shinsuke#kita x reader#kita fluff
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Hi, I just want to say that I really love your writings and they actually really help me relax after a hard day!😊But today i just wanted to feel pain, so can I please have a dying! reader headcannon with Chrollo. If you do write for these, Im really sorry if you dont.
Oh, anon, who hurt you? I'll make myself cry, most probably 😭
Anyway, thank you and I'm glad to hear that! 😄 And thank you for the request as well! I hope you'll enjoy this! 🙇
A/N: the idea sorta came while listening to A Grave Mistake by Ice Nine Kills (I love the live version from SiriusXM, like please 😭💞). And I was so close to writing a scenario and then I read headcanons and I just kinds stopped like oh, yeah 😂
Warning: very long, angsty, description of injuries and death
you’d never thought it could hurt so badly
or that there’d be so much blood
but, alas, that was the unfortunate situation you found yourself in
the several gashes you’d acquired during your fight were making you dizzy from blood loss
your attacker had died a few seconds before, blood still flowing from the stomach wound you gave him
that was also the only serious hit you managed to land on him
unfortunately, you just knew that it only saved you for a bit more time
you had barely managed to get out your phone, only to see the screen cracked
and you were honestly scared it wouldn't work, but you felt relief when the screen lit up
you called Chrollo, but you had to put the phone on the ground, next to your ear
you had never felt happier to hear his voice
if only you could see him one last time as well...
Hello, love! And Happy Anniversary! Where are you? I hope you're on your way because I wouldn't want dinner to get cold-
Chrollo...
he suddenly went quiet as he heard you and you could hear shuffling in the background
(Y/N), where are you?
you told him, wheezing when you felt a sharp pain in your side as you tried to breathe in more air
you heard more shuffling before the city noise filled the background on the other end
Stay on the phone with me. Tell me what happened.
it hurt so badly to talk
your throat felt as dry as bone and also wet and the taste of blood was prominent
but you tried to talk, telling him about the one who attacked you while on your way home and how you tried to defend yourself, but their Nen far surpassed yours
apparently, your attacker had friends who wanted to destroy the Spider as well
and they would cling to anything that would hurt them or get them closer to the Phantom Troupe
you’d rather tell your boyfriend about this face to face, though
you did laugh and you heard his chuckle when you told Chrollo about the fatal hit you inflicted on your attacker
but when he asked you how bad your injuries were, you couldn’t answer
what were you supposed to say?
that you’d never seen so much blood in your entire life?
or that you could feel yourself slipping away?
(Y/N)? Talk to me, darling. I’m almost there. Just keep talking.
you told Chrollo about the cake you had bought and how you wanted to go on a date the next day or just sleep in and spend the entire day celebrating at home
he only hummed, hurrying over to you as fast as he could
good thing Shalnark installed an app on your phone that allowed Chrollo to pinpoint your location with accuracy
he swore he’d only use it in case of emergency and he’d kept his word
Chrollo felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw your figure and all the blood surrounding you and the figure a few meters away from you
(Y/N)? I’m here now. Everything’s going to be fine, okay?
his hand caressed your cheek while the other hovered over your waist, where most of the blood seemed to come from
you leaned into his touch, smiling at him despite all the pain you felt and the numbness that started to overtake your limbs
Chrollo had already called Machi to heal you and Feitan, more for reinforcement than anything
and a few seconds later you could both hear them rapidly approaching you
Machi, please.
she only nodded and got to work, with Feitan going over to your attacker and inspecting him closely
Chrollo held your hand the entire time, smiling down at you and kissing your knuckles, hoping that you’d be saved and coming back with him injured, but alive
Machi managed to stitch most of your wounds and the bleeding stopped, but you were still pale and trembling from all the blood loss
How are you feeling, love? Better?
you wanted to say yes, just to keep that hopeful sparkle in his eyes
but you couldn’t
No... It hurts a lot... I don’t think I’ll-
Stop. Don’t say it.
Machi had gotten up and taken a few steps away from the two of you, still hearing you, but giving you some privacy
she’d done her best and you were thankful for that
you had felt her hands tremble slightly
you were friends and her boss’ lover
the idea of someone else she grew close to dying was making her sick
and Chrollo felt the same way
despite being around death so often and for his entire life, he still hated the idea of someone he cared about leaving his side like this
it was too soon
he still had so many things he wanted to experience with you and show you
he couldn’t lose you just like that
it wasn’t fair
there were tears forming in his eyes and you felt your heart clench in pain and pity when they started descending down his cheeks
your fingers wiped them away, the dry blood on your fingertips leaving faint marks where they got the blood wet again
Shhh... Don’t worry, we’ll meet again one day. Okay? And I’ll watch over you. So don’t cry anymore, please.
you were no better since you were crying as well
it really wasn’t fair
you didn’t want to die
you didn’t want to leave Chrollo
and seeing him actually react like this really moved you
as cool and charming as he always acted, even with you for the most part
you really didn’t think that he felt so strongly about you
you kissed the top of his head lightly as his face rested over your neck, lips pressing over the still warm skin and moving as if he was mumbling
or praying
Chrollo, sweetheart, please, look at me.
his eyes were teary and a little bloodshot as his hands were holding tightly onto yours
you looked so pale, but you still smiled at him
and Chrollo felt his heart crack
because it was his fault
he should’ve kept you safe
he was still trying not to be loud
and only you could see his face and feel his trembling hands
It’s not your fault. Understood? Don’t blame yourself. I want you to promise me this.
he couldn’t do that and you knew it
he’d always feel some guilt because this could’ve been avoided
if only he’d been with you, he could’ve protected you
just like he promised you
and he broke it
I promise.
he knew how stubborn you were sometimes
you wouldn’t take no or I can’t for an answer
not this time
I love you, (Y/N). I’ll always do.
his voice was anything but loud
this was only for you to hear and no one else
not even Machi or Feitan
So will I, Chrollo. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, alright?
you smirked playfully, though even you felt like it was a pitiful attempt at making everything more light-hearted
he cracked a broken smile and kissed your forehead, arms slowly lifting you up so he could hug you properly
you hugged him back tightly, hand going through his hair as his hands clung to your torn clothes, feeling the dry blood that had soaked through
it honestly hurt to stay like this
but it didn’t matter anymore
even now, you felt safe in his arms
his cologne always brought you this feeling of familiarity and home
and his skin was so warm that you never wanted to part with him
but you slowly started feeling even more sluggish
there were black spots gradually growing in size and numbers and you closed your eyes, letting your other senses heighten
his breathing was ragged but still quiet
his fingers were digging into your skin only a little
his grip tightened just as yours started to weaken
you could only press a kiss to his shoulder before you felt a few more tears fall onto your skin
if only you could apologise for making him cry, you would’ve done it
but you could barely open your mouth to utter a whimpered sorry
and the last thing you heard was Chrollo, thanking you for loving him
as he got up, with your lifeless body in his arms, cradling you protectively
Chrollo looked down at your face
you looked as if you were sleeping
just like that time when you went to an amusement park and he had to carry you home because of how tired you were
if only there wasn’t so much blood and your body was warmer
Machi and Feitan were looking at the both of you without saying a word
Machi’s eyes were shining with unshed tears
while Feitan grimaced behind his mask
things would never be the same now that you were gone
he could already sense the change in Chrollo
Feitan, do you know who he is?
Yes, seen him before. Yakuza from the northern side of the city. Had a clash a few months ago.
Chrollo only nodded and his fingers tightened their grip a little over your skin that was growing colder
Let’s head back. After all, we should forgive our enemies. But not before they are hanged.
Chrollo and the other two Spiders walked away from the scene in silence
every memory the two of you had built over time, good or bad, was burnt into his mind and kept replaying
he glanced at you again
you would never be forgotten
you would always be loved
Chrollo swore this
and swore to get even and kill them all
revenge is a confession of pain
and he had never felt so much of it before
#hxh#hunter x hunter#hunter x hunter x reader#hunter x reader#chrollo#chrollo lucilfer#chrollo x reader#chrollo lucilfer x reader#hxh chrollo#hxh writing
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You want a chubby Kai hurt/comfort ask? Alright chubby Kai feels that he doesn’t look good enough to be with angel because Angel has this one handsome friend so Angel asks him what’s wrong
"For God's sake..." he grumbled as he was having a battle against the buttons of his shirt, trying to close his attire to just start the day for once.
"Need any help love?" You giggled from the bathroom as hos golden orbs narrowed before sighing and rolling his eyes. Giving uo on the dress shirt and hoing for anothe rone on his closet instead.
He would be lying if he blame it on you for his gain weight but was not entirely wrong about the issue as well. He had spacked off on his aleating habbits a bit over the past year, still remaining eating healthy things like always but increasing his appetite with some... appetitiziers you had suggested.
"Hey dont get mad at me!" You cooed as he huffed a annoyed sigh, buttoning up his shirt before he tensed at your warm embrace from behind while nuzzling on his shoulders blades.
"Enough." His hands brushed you off but you smiled instead of being offended. Knowing that even despite the years of dating, your boyfriend wasn't one used to touch neither be touched... but the tips of his ears getting all red over a simple kiss on his back and hug told you everything that he packed off on saying.
"Geez, grumpy today aren't we?" You pouted as he fixed his shirt and put on his jacket.
"If you stop commenting about my humor dearest I will take you out to that place you wanted badly." He flinched at your excited and surprised gasp before receiving a kiss on his covered cheek as you printed off to get your things as he scoffed, gloved fingers brushing against the area where your lips had been.
.
.
.
"There's that stand of crepes over there!" You tugged on his jacket as he deadpanned at you.
"If I remember correctly you saw the issue with my prwvious shirt this morning didn't you?" He arched one of his eyebrows up as you pouted.
"Is just a shirt Kai! Come on!!" You looked at him with puppy eyes "Is not every day we get one pleasee??"
That damn look of yours was gonna be the death of him...
Sighing and hating himself at already feeling aome sorta of craving for the sweet, he picked his wallet on his pocket as you squealed happily.
No one could tell by looking at his eyes that he was actually happy... seing your face brighten up like that just because of a simple sweet that HE bought to you was slightly... like a warm feeling inside his chest.
He could simply overhaul someone or his commurates that joked that he had grew "soft" on both ways because of you... but he couldn't deny it either.
"Which one will you get?" You asoed with a smile as he handed the cash and soon got his napkin put to rub his gloved hands.
"None. You asked for it, so only you get one." He eyed your pouty lips as he sighed, rubbing your cheek affectionaly, a rare sign of affection from him "Stop with that face. Im fine."
The man handed the sweet to you as he walked a bit away, waiting for you to catch up with him until he noticed you talking excitedly with another male.
His eyes immediately narrowed at the sign but before he could actually just pry you off and kill the young male he notices something... the guy had a fair share of muscles, much more than he jad before gaining weight. He was constantly speaking with a bright smile on his face as he stood way too close to his liking near you.
You... actually looked like a coupke from afar.
His teeth gritted as his hands tightened into fits... remenbering that for a long time now he couldn't even see himself in the freacking mirror anymore. Not only he had an illness but also was disgusting on appearance as well?
Constantly he got intrusive thoughts that you should have someone better. A man that could bare to have you clinged onto him qithout getting tense over it, a guy who actually took you out on dates constantly and also didn't got you in danger like he did... someone with better appearance...
"Kai?" His thoughts were interrupted when he heard your voice, looking at him with some sorta of worry "You're standing there for a while now... didn't even came when I called you to meet my friend."
He stayes quiet.. bored look locked with yours as he merely sighed, started to walk and waved at you.
"I have other places to be with. Need to finish a job Pops assigned to me."
"Oh.." you muttered, dissapointed present on yoir voice at only heating he was going to be busy for the rest of the day "Then maybe on the evening we-"
"Dont wait up. I might only be free by night time." He eued you for a bit before sighing and looking ahead of him "Dont bother with it."
"I see.." you muttered, his heart clenching at seing you, once so cheerful now just looking like a cloud was over your head...
Yet he decided to ignore.
.
.
.
He couldn't even concetrate on his work anymore... evertime he got closer to qrite or sign somwtjing he could feel his stomach double over as the movement made his ahirt and pants feel tigher than before.
"Fucking fat ass." He growled in anger as he signed with more forece than necessary a paper and almost threw it on some pile before heating some knocks "Say your name and bussines."
"Hi." You cooed, showing aprehensively your face on the door as he arched an eyebrow at your presence.
"I recalled you had other places to be qith at this time?" He said while looking at the clock stuck on the wall as you aproached his desk with a cup.
"Yeah, but it got cancelled... So-!" You put the warm cup on his desk "I thought maybe a treat could bright up the day of my handsome boyfriend."
He scoffed at that word... "handsome"... sure, as if he could be now in the state he is in.
"What is this?" He looked down at the cup and saw a white cloud with bits of caramel on top of it.
"A frappuccino!" You skiled brightly "I saw it on the menu of a cafeteria and I thought you might like it."
His eyes soften at your gesture but still he was adamant on just even breathing near that thing... it looked like one gulp of that he could gain at least 100 pounds...
"I appreciate your gesture, but Im curring all the sugary things for now." He scoffed while pushing the drink back to you before turning to get on his laptop.
The hurt you felt wasn't what bothered you but what Chisaki has been doing all day... Getting away from you like you were the plague and everything eatible at this point.
"Ok. I know how much you hate when I get like this, but what the hell is going on?" Your words seemes to stop Chisaki right when he was about to write something as he looked at you with only one narrowed eye...
"I beg you pardon?"
"Kai you cant say to me that you dont like caramel anymore! You hadn't eat nothing but a freacking apple all day and been avoiding me as well!" You exclaimed qith open arms, lowering them as well as your gaze, feeling your vision burn a bit at the feeling of tears forming "Did... did I do something..?"
A sigh once again escaped his lips, gloved fingers brushing over his darkbrow looks as he thought over his next words... Lying would get him no where and he absolietly hated the aspect of it...
Getting up he walked over you. His fingers picking on your chin and tilting it up to meet his eyes.
"You did nothing. Its only a problem of mine."
"So what is it?" You put your bottom lip out as your eyebrows furrowed. The sign of it made his own furrow deep as his jaw tighten.
"... I.." he sighed, seeing that you wouldn't back off until you knew exactly what was going on "The incident with the shirt and that encounter you had quth your friend just.. Made me think that I fallen out of shape... If I dont stop with this nonsense I might look like that filthy hero fatgum or worse... I wouldn't want you to have shame while walking besides me anyway."
It was so quiet after he finished his rants he swore he could hear his hearbeat on your ears as he waited anxiously for some sorta of response to him. Anything. Really.
"... all this because you gained a couple of pounds?" Ypu finally asked as he gritted his teeth, only to widenhis eyes at the few giggles that escaped your mouth "S-Seriously?"
"You little br-" before he could finish it yoh had pulles his mask down to kiss his lips. The shock was evident on his eyes and his body was tense and arms awkwardly hanging in the air until finally he eased uo and holdee your waist while finally kissing you back.
"You should know by now.." you panted after the kiss ended "That no matter the size or shape, I love you. Just like you dont care a bit if I gained or lost weight you love me to no ends..." you cupped his cheek as he could only stare deep i to your eyes. Someyhing you didn't know, it was that he was looking at you with so much love and adoration that even hurted.
"So that friend of yours you dont have any interest?" He carresed your hips with his thumb as you shook your head with a smile, rubbing noses against eachother.
"Nope."
"Perfect. One less sick in this world." He smirked at your gasp and call of his name in desperation, but you stoll remained glued to him.
The moment he could describe as it almost perfect if it wasn't for some intruder.
"Hey fatass we got a problem down and you need to get there." He only arched an eyebrow at Rappa but soon felt the dark airea coming out of you as you stared at Rappa with rage.
"Kai.. my beautiful man. Would you mind if I take someyhing of your office for just a bit?" He eyed you suspociouslu but nodded.
His eyes widened when you grabbed the sword Pops gave to him years ago and chased after Rappa screaming obscenities that he never thought he would have heard it from you. Especially from you.
He stared a bit astonished at where you left only to notice the drink you had brought to him. Taking into his hand he took a tentative sip before sighing in bliss.
"Sweet.."
#chubby kai x reader#chubby overhaul#chubby overhaul x reader#chubby chisaki kai x reader#bnha villains x reader#bnha villains#bnha fanfictions#bnha fanfics#zuffer writings
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haunted
Summary: When Gabriel goes a step too far, Plagg has decided he’s had enough.
Meanwhile, Gabriel Agreste has discovered that his house may or may not be haunted, because a vengeful spirit certainly seems to be after him.
Notes: basically plagg being a little gremlin and trolling gabriel like he deserves. ft. gabe’s 3 remaining braincells. based on this post by @hamsternamedmarinette and @snail-noir im sorry its so crappy lol
haunted
“Well,” Adrien is saying as he trudges inside the room and kicks the door shut. “There’s that, then.”
Plagg flits out from his shirt. His face is set in an angry mask, tail sticking straight up. “That’s that?” he echoes. “No, that’s absurd! Your father’s absurd! He should come back here and I’ll give him a piece of my mind and—”
Adrien squeezes his eyes shut. “Plagg, it’s fine. Forget it.”
Plagg makes an angry noise in the back of his throat. “So you’re just gonna take that? For weeks? He has no right.”
In his hand is the piece of paper—now crumpled—that his father had shoved into his fingers before he stormed off: the schedule for the fashion show. It runs for a week, but there’s also a terrifying amount of preparations to be done two weeks prior—all of which his father had decided he needed to be present for.
“I can’t risk making father angry,” Adrien settles with.
Plagg folds his arms. “Fine,” his kwami says curtly, in a manner of speaking that Adrien always finds hard to argue with. “Hypothetically speaking, then, if your father found out his plans had been cata—destroyed, would you be allowed to go out?”
“Plagg, I’m not going to break into my father’s study as Chat Noir to cataclysm his work just so I can go out with friends.”
Plagg smiles at him. It’s the smile Adrien had often gotten before he’d discovered the toilet paper in his washroom all scratched up and littering the floor. “Don’t worry,” comes the reply. “You won’t have to.”
***
Gabriel Agreste’s study is locked, but that doesn’t prove a problem for the small black shape that slips through the doors like they’re made of nothing more than mist. It’s dark, but cats have always seen better at night anyway.
There, on the top of his desk, lies the designs for the first set of clothes that are to be showcased. Meticulous notes. Fabric samples. Timing and schedules. Signatures and contracts.
The small, black cat picks the folder up with two paws. Then it crumbles into dust.
***
“Nathalie, did you touch the folder on my desk?”
It’s been a long morning—Gabriel had been up at 4 AM in an attempt to see if he could get an edge on Ladybug and Chat Noir. It had been horrendous to find someone to akumatize so early, and by the time he’d pinpointed his victim—forty five minutes later—he had nearly fallen asleep. He’d been pummelled by Ladybug and Chat Noir. Absolutely pummelled. And then, as if the situation couldn't help but get worse, Audrey Bourgeois had called him at six (just when he was about to go back to bed) and told him she couldn’t make it to the fashion show.
That woman had no regard for timezones. And no regard for him, either, because part of the marketing for the fashion week was Audrey’s attendance.
Gabriel was considering akumatizing himself when he realized the manila folder on his desk—that had been there when he left the night prior—was nowhere to be seen.
He searches through all his files. Crawls under his desk. Checks his lair. It's gone.
“Nathalie!” he bellows again, and she comes barrelling through the door to his office.
“What is it, sir?”
Gabriel takes a deep breath. “Have you seen the files for the fashion show? It was in the folder on my desk when I left.”
“Sir, I haven’t been in your office since last night, and I’m certain I saw your files there. Are you sure you haven’t misplaced it?”
Misplaced it, yeah. That’s what it was. Probably.
Now, what he needed was a nap.
***
The files do not turn up. Gabriel sends Nathalie to print them out again. The most important stuff is stored on his computer, but there are signatures he’d spent weeks getting.
He locks the files in his drawer the next time he gets it.
***
Tuesday morning finds Gabriel Agreste feeling much more refreshed. He even joins Adrien for three minutes during breakfast.
He walks into his office to find his favourite coffee mug in smithereens on the ground.
The files are still stored safely in his drawer. But there is a big, ugly tear across the dress he’d been working on for the past three months.
Gabriel screams.
***
Gabriel Agreste isn’t a fan of security cameras in his office. Especially because anyone with some hacking ability could possibly get their hands on the tape, and the last thing he needs is someone seeing him descending into his lair, or opening the safe behind his painting. Really—there’s simply too many sketchy things he’s done in the office for him to trust putting a camera there.
But he installs two of them nonetheless. His coffee mug could be an accident. But that rip on the dress? No, the only explanation is that it was intentional. But how?
Gabriel thinks of possibilities until he gives himself a headache.
***
“Father seems stressed lately,” Adrien notes to Plagg. There’s not much time for himself between busy schedules, but the moments in between he catches to talk to his kwami. The past week, stuck alone in his room with barely any interaction with his friends, has been draining. He cherishes the precious minutes he gets to spend with Plagg.
“Does he?” Plagg asks in a tone of practiced disinterest. “Well, he does have that really important fashion week thing coming up.”
“He asked me if I’d broken into his study a day ago, but he always locks his study. I think some of his files were missing.”
“Oh?” Plagg replies. “That’s terrible misfortune.”
“Father says he thinks a thief snuck in in the middle of the night and stole them, but we have security cameras all around the house and nothing happened.”
“Spooky.”
“Plagg…”
Plagg only shrugs. “Perhaps your house is haunted,” he replies disinterestedly. “Good thing you’re not scared of ghosts, Adrien.”
***
The house is haunted, and Gabriel cannot sleep.
The most terrifying part of watching the footage is that he sees nothing. There is no movement. No nothing. But then, the next morning, his files inside the locked drawer have disappeared.
Nathalie asks him about the dark rings around his eyes. He drinks two more cups of coffees in response.
***
Gabriel’s eyes are burning, but he’s determined to stay awake.
He likes to think himself neat and meticulous, but even he has his breaking point—his desk is littered with coffee cups, and he’s resorted to drinking energy drinks to keep himself awake. There’s less than ten days until the fashion show starts. It’s been so heavy on his schedule that he’s barely found time to akumatize three three people the past week.
Ladybug and Chat Noir must be having a field day while he’s sitting miserably in his office, waiting to catch the thief, too exhausted to summon up more akumas.
The clock ticks past midnight. Gabriel nearly faceplants into a coffee mug.
Another cup of redbull.
By the time it’s two in the morning, nothing shocking in particular has happened. Every time the flashing light of a car drives past the front of the house he starts, sits back down, and struggles to keep his eyes open.
It’s 2:04 when a crash sounds outside of his office.
Like a madman, Gabriel scrambles up from his seat. He knocks over a half-finished mug of coffee in the process, but that doesn’t matter. The door of his office slams open. He trips on a rug. But he gets up and runs like he’s never run before.
With all the force he can muster, he slams his palm down on the light, and the once-dark staircase and hall become bathed in golden light. The chandelier flickers twice and he stares down at the hall with half the mind to wonder if he’s going to finally see the ghost.
Gabriel is the only one in the hall.
He checks once more. Then again. Then again. But there is no one there, no source of the crash—
Oh, no.
The painting he’d bid at an auction twelve years ago—one that had cost a fortune—has fallen off the wall and face planted into the floor. The sight of it physically hurts Gabriel, and he’s scrambling towards it in a mixture of fear and anger when another noise sounds in his office.
In the months of being Hawkmoth, Gabriel Agreste has felt a generous range of emotions. But never has he felt such bone-chilling fear.
He heads back up the steps with robotic movements numbly. Down the corridor. Into his office.
There is no one there, and the mess that has been made is moreso his fault than of the invisible thief—or ghost—but then Gabriel sees one of his locked drawers open and the contents inside dumped unceremoniously on the ground.
The next day, when Nathalie finds him out cold on the ground, he attributes it to the exhaustion and the amount of coffee and energy drinks he’d consumed. But deep down, Gabriel knows that it’s the terror that’s finally caught up.
Either way, he faints.
***
Gabriel is confined to bed by a very concerned Nathalie. She usually heeds to his instructions, but the rare insistence from her and his own fatigue lands him out of commission for the day. It doesn’t stop him, however, from giving her a set of instructions.
“First, my office,” Gabriel croaks. His throat hurts—he must’ve caught a cold as well. “Please clean everything up and reinstall the locks. And then… and then…”
He thinks of the missing files—three times—and grits his teeth. “Cancel the fashion week.”
Nathalie’s jaw drops open. “Sir—”
“I know,” Gabriel mutters. “I just… I’m left with no choice. I’ll reschedule. Make up some excuse.”
She dips her head. “Noted, sir. Is that all?”
Gabriel gives her a miserable nod. She’s halfway out the door when he remembers.
“Nathalie!” he yells. “Get me a shaman, too.”
***
“The fashion week is cancelled.” Adrien looks up from practicing piano. “Father is sick, I think, which might be why. Nathalie looked super stressed when I saw her before my lessons.”
“Cancelled?” Plagg echoes dispassionately. “Huh. That’s too bad, I guess.”
“No, that’s good! I mean, it’s not good that my father is sick and Nathalie is stressed, but… at least I won’t be hounded about preparations. I even got permission to go out today.”
“Huh,” Plagg replies. He settles himself into his wheel of cheese. “I guess you’re lucky after all, then.”
Notes: yeah idk what i wrote but master fu is the shaman they hire and he finds out gabriel is hawkmoth and arrests him and the end if u wanna know what happens next
Here’s my fics masterlist!
#miraculous ladybug#gabriel agreste#plagg#adrien agreste#ml#nathalie#hawkmoth#plagg is mvp n i dont take criticism!#mlb fic#my writing#tag this gabenath and i hunt u down
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literally just copying this here cause I need to vent again but I also wanna see if ill get advice lol
my crush, whose been my friend for years and has liked me a majority of those years, finally told me this year but I pretended I didn't know she liked me even tho I very much did
they had to stop talking to me for a while cause her dads a jerk and hates me even tho I'm better for her than he his but whatever
I finally get to talk to them and they tell me about their SO, I almost cry because I figured out I liked them a while ago and wanted to tell her but I cant now
well I can but I'm not going to cause I dont wanna hurt their relationship in any way and I dont want their current partner to get hurt because I told my crush my feelings cause, you see, I care more about others than myself, other people that are close to the people I care about or are the people I care about are significantly more important than myself in my eyes, yes im working on it but its hard and I need help, im getting it but its a slow process cause I regress a lot in that area
sidetracked, anyway, so I dont wanna be any reason they break up *however* my stupid brain keeps telling me that it hopes they break up soon and I really dont because I love seeing them happy and I dont care how much pain I'm in ill just mask it, put on a smile, and move on with my life and watch them be happy, ill stay in their life cause they want me to stay in their life, ill take care of their children like they're my own, ill take care of them when they're sick with a smile on my face but on the inside all I can think is "they didn't wait for me, they never liked me, I hope they break up soon" but the other part of me says "thats not true, they didn't know when they were gonna talk to you again and thought you didn't like them, they did like you and maybe even still do and you know that, you don't want them to break up cause you know their partner makes them happy and if one day they decide you make them happier then so be it but that's not now" and idk what to do, I know im miserable and thinking about them all the time but I cant help but think im an awful person for thinking all the things I think even tho I know I dont mean them and they deserve better than me idk why they keep me around lol
#story time#crushposting#this is the same person that i posted about earlier lol idk when tho#tw mental illness#tw mental health#kinda sad ngl#advice?#i need advice#please lol
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Simply Soft ~ NCT 127 ver.
a/n ~ here is the final version of simply soft.. i hope you like it!!
• Prompt: johnny. just johnny. • Genre: platonic fluff, bullet point scenario, nct member!reader • Warning(s): strong desire to be a part of nct • Reader Gender: gender-neutral
==≎==
Taeil
ok google, what does soft mean?
never have you seen taeil so whipped for someone
always supporting you and looking at you with the biggest heart eyes
haechan pretends to get jealous and petty whenever taeil shows you more attention than him
you have competitions sometimes
but besides that,
you show taeil so much love and he has so much to give in return
he’s not the best at expressing his love, but you know he cares through the little things
like when he cleans up after you
or gives you firm hugs that last tens of minutes at a time when you aren’t feeling the best
or lets you rest in his bed if you fall asleep during the haechan movie nights you crash
he finds you so precious and never wants to see you sad
his favorite time to hang out with you is right after the two of you get home from a busy day
doesn’t matter what you both did, he’ll make sure to find you at the dorms
most of the time he just gives you the look which means he’s picked out some snacks and is ready when you are
to him, there is nothing better than taking a shower and then inviting you to put on face masks and dance to music
lets you pick the playlist
but, he’s very picky about what kind of music it is
either gives you one of his hoodies or steals one of yours
you both get comfy clothes on
and then apply skincare before picking a face mask and putting them on each other
lots of cute selfies that will never be shared but always treasured
in conclusion, taeil loves relaxing with you
“oh! oh, this is the song! quick, come dance!”
==≎==
Johnny
are you ready for another...
johnny’s communication center?
probably not
you’ve only gotten to appear in one of johnny’s youtube videos which was like a 40-second debut
rip y/n
however, contrary to popular belief, you do spend time with him
he’s like the best big brother in the world, even if he’s younger than you
brings you to clothing stores, coffee shops, bookstores, ikea
any place you can buy things really
his favorite places to go with you are clothing stores
forces you to try on clothes that are in his style just to see how they look on you
whines when you try to get him to wear your style of clothing
says your fashion sense is terrible and sad
but wears the clothes anyway to see your reaction
loves seeing you smile
sometimes you go through johnny’s fashion evaluation
either horrendous combinations or luxury styles
there is no in-between
in the case of horrendous combinations (which happened at a thrift store in chicago):
he had you put on a sparkly rainbow bikini top that left little to the imagination, khakis, a lumberjack flannel around your neck, a bandana around your head, sunglasses that had to be at the tip of your nose, and thigh-high, high heeled boots
you had never felt more out of place and uncomfortable in your life
but johnny loved it every second of it
you made sure to get him back though
you gave him a neon blue lacy bralette, a puke green and brown sweater that you forced him to tie into a crop top, jean shorts that were too short with leggings underneath, knee-high socks with laces pulled over the leggings, and strappy sandals
he pretended to model the outfit for you confidently but his bright red neck and cheeks gave it away that he was embarrassed
in the case of luxury items (which was in some uptown, expensive store in japan):
johnny somehow managed to pick out an outfit that accentuated all of your best features with a color that made you feel confident and sexy
you felt you had never looked better
you returned the favor of course and gave him a suit that was definitely a perfect fit and it was obviously red because when does johnny not look good in red
“damn, y/n, look at us! we are the visuals of nct no doubt!”
==≎==
Taeyong
duality.
never have you seen a more confusing duo in kpop history
aeygo to the maxxxx
charisma to that maxxxx
it’s like a metronome how fast you two change when you’re together
the power.
neither soft stans nor hard stans can handle it
the twitter timeline is a dangerous place
fans could be cooing at you both and having heart pains while commenting about how babie you two are
but then die because the next picture is you in all black with a harness doing a questionably 18+ pose with taeyong who’s probably got his signature crop top on
n e ways, let us move on
taeyong adores you so much and it honestly makes him so flustered when you spend time with him
he loves, loves, loves when you take him out
he doesn’t leave the dorm much unless it’s for work
invite him to join you anywhere and he’ll instantly agree with so much enthusiasm, it’ll make you want to give him the world (though he deserves it)
he enjoys the little things
like walking down the street and bumping shoulders every so often while you guys talk about your days
or holding hands while crossing the street to make sure the other is safe
if you go somewhere to eat and offer a bite to him, he’ll melt
do anything for him and he’ll melt, really
one time you held the door for him and he had heart eyes the rest of the night
another time, you complimented his taste in fashion while you took a few pictures of him for instagram and he couldn’t stop smiling
how can he be so precious?
always tries to impress you with a surprise while you are out
he might spoil his new solo track or pay for a meal if you stop anywhere to eat, but that’s when he’s feeling extra
one time he surprised you with a tight hug and a genuine thank you that actually made you cry
“baby, please... spend some time.. with me?”
==≎==
Yuta
you and yuta are like two peas in a pod
like peanut butter and jelly
like strawberries and chocolate
like french fries and burgers
like fish and chips
sorry, i’ll stop with food pairs im kinda hungry right now
anyways, you get it
yuta feels lost when you aren’t around. you are his best friend, his other half (winwin who?)
yuta without you just feels... wrong
nct’s instragram is full of the pictures you guys take when you go on adventures together, which is very often
it’s his favorite thing to do with you; traveling and exploring
you pull up a map on your phone and go buck wild
you’ve both found some pretty cool places and some amazing views
you found a hidden cove somewhere off the coast in california but you guys got in trouble later that day because no one could find you
turns out you guys had wandered a lot farther than you thought
the pictures you showed the group made up for it
they were gorgeous candids of the both of you, laughing and smiling together
one was a timed one where you were both jumping
all of these photos and videos were posted to instagram which made a lot of people happy just to see yuta and you so happy in your elements
sometimes, you guys force mark to join you which takes some convincing because you two are always trouble
mark wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but those moments he shares with the two of you are where he has the most fun
he never knew two people could love each other platonically as much as the two of you do
however, he wants to barf whenever you guys call each other sappy pet names because, ew, third wheeling
“where should we go today, honey?”
==≎==
Doyoung
my birthday twin, let’s get it
how do i even begin to explain how much this boy cares?
you are the third member on his “favorite member” list
now, don’t get petty when he says you’re third
the story of how you got demoted from first is a bit funny in hindsight, jeno (who’s in first) takes the liberty of making fun of you for it whenever you hang out
jungwoo (who owns second) always tries to stand up for you though
you were messing around with taeyong on top of a set-piece while shooting a music video
doyoung had scolded you and told you to stop or else you would get hurt
you decided to laugh off his warning because you “weren’t that clumsy”
turns out you were
taeyong did something cool (when does he not?) and you wanted to try it, so after he told you how to do it a few times, you did
you fell
not very far, only a couple feet, but you landed on your back
the sound was so loud that it startled everyone
doyoung had a heart attack
he thought you died
you had the wind knocked out of you and your back was a little sore, but other than that you were fine
at least ten people swarmed you
including taeyong who was apologizing like crazy
doyoung was right there, lifting you up and already giving you an earful about how he told you to be cautious
once people were sure you were fine and didn’t have a concussion, they left you alone
doyoung doesn’t like much physical affection, but he’ll put that aside to smother you against his chest and harshly reprimand you
he’s a mom friend and will always be
will never tell you, but he prizes the moments when you get sick or hurt
sounds sadistic, and maybe it is, but he loves when you are a helpless baby and he has to take care of you
always scolding you for compromising your health, but doesn’t stop pampering you
tells the other members off when they try to help him
makes you soup when you are sick and gets you anything you ask for without complaint
if you get hurt, he’s right there with some form of first aid
and since i know you’re wondering: yes, he will cuddle you if you ask.
“come to me when you need help, you dumb baby.”
==≎==
Jaehyun
jung jaehyun is the definition of boyfriend material
when you two get together, the aesthetic blogs pale in comparison
everything the two of you do together is an aesthetic, really
golden hour selfies on rooftops where your skin glows and your eyes look the most beautiful
candids on the streets of the city where you're illuminated by the street signs
coffee shop pictures where you look so perfectly in your element sipping coffee and looking out the window
snapshots of “date nights” where you stay in to watch movies or kdramas with popcorn, candy, and a bottle of wine
couple’s outfits where you pose like models while someone takes your photo
you guys do it all
honestly, the biggest ship in all of nct is you and jaehyun
fanfiction writers are jealous no doubt because how the hell can the two of you live out their writings so flawlessly
some people use the pictures the two of you take as templates for their mood boards or “nct as boyfriends” projects
you both probably started a vlog series on the nct youtube account
however, the time you guys spend together is strictly platonic, no matter how badly people want you two to “just date”
neither of you tries anything romantic because blegh, disgusting, i’ve known this person for so long they are literally my best friend, my sibling, a family member i’ve never had but always wanted
sure, jaehyun’s ears turn red whenever you guys dress up in similar outfits but it’s because of people’s reactions
if you see a picture with jaehyun shy next to you, it’s probably because johnny is screaming behind the scenes about how good the two of you look
speaking of johnny, he’s the hype man
also, sort of, maybe, kinda the reason you guys do so much aesthetic stuff
he says you guys are too good looking not to “bless the world with your visuals”
to sum this up, jaehyun treasures you and does the most with you
“what are you wearing today? we should match since it’s our friend-iversary!”
==≎==
WinWin
see wayv ver.
==≎==
Jungwoo
i love him with all my heart and i really miss him right now
it’s real soft hours up in here
not a single moment where you aren’t giving each other all the love you can muster
big comfy sweaters with sweater paws
love confessions every hour
always telling you he loves you and that you are his
treats you like royalty while also babying you into next week
he’s honestly the sweetest person on the planet and he can’t handle himself around you because dang, you really be out here existing and stuff
looking that good
since he’s so affectionate, i see him cuddling you like there’s no tomorrow
will build a pillow fort for you
honestly, he will do anything for you as long as you say please
not afraid to kiss you either. don’t matter where or when, he’s ready
some would say it’s his favorite thing to do
your cheek looking extra squishy that day? his lips have claimed that territory
your forehead exposed? kiss.
your neck easily accessible? smooch.
your hand in his? peck.
your lips in a pout? he better hold himself back because he’s about ready to risk it all just to give you a kith
the other members try not to seem too surprised every time you accept his lips on your skin
they freak out whenever it happens to them, or get super flustered
they don’t know how you handle his affection so well
you say it’s a talent when they ask you
a.k.a. you treasure all the affection he gives you because he is literally the best boy and you would die for him
he worships you on the daily (lucky)
he says his heart beats irregularly whenever you are around because he loves you that much
it was actually scientifically proven during a tv show when you had to make other members’ heart rates fluctuate with aegyo
you hadn’t started doing anything yet, but just by looking at you his heart did a boom boom and everyone freaked out
holds the title of the member with the best hair second-biggest ship in all of nct and of course, it’s with you
fans have so many videos of jungwoo hanging off of you and being clingy
always talking about you like you put the stars in the sky
you know that video when jungwoo was giving mark “the look”? it’s like that with you but at least ten times worse and all the time because you are his baby, his world, his favorite member
always has to comment about what you two did that day
never ever forgets to talk about how much he cares about you
“yeah, y/n and i are close. i love them with all my heart. they are perfect!”
==≎==
Mark
see dreamies ver
==≎==
Haechan
see dreamies ver
#can you tell that im soft for all of nct?#i just cannot handle myself#tbh all of these are borderline romantic relationships when i was shooting for platonic#nct#nct imagines#nct x reader#nct x male reader#nct x you#nct moon taeil#nct johnny seo#nct lee taeyong#nct nakamoto yuta#nct kim doyoung#nct jung jaehyun#nct kim jungwoo#taeil x reader#johnny x reader#taeyong x reader#yuta x reader#doyoung x reader#jaehyun x reader#jungwoo x reader
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Dog Days - Chapter 1
*visual aid, not my pics* (Ben on left, kylo on top, Matt on bottom)
A/N: Please don't get the wrong idea about what this fic will be about. It will all make sense when i put out more chapters, i swear.
Summary: You work at a vet clinic in a big city near your small hometown. You want to become a vet but are only an aid as of right now. You love animals, always have, and you know there are plenty of animals in the city that need your help. But what happens when you meet 3 very strange dogs one day?
You were walking to the Veterinary clinic that you worked at. You didn't want to be late so you made a quick breakfast and took it with you. You didn't live very from the clinic so you weren't too worried about being late, and you were only a veterinarian aid, you didn't do very much anyway. Living in the city, you learned how much people really valued their pets. You had seen so many families bring in their pets that were sick or injured and the joy on their faces when you told them their animal family members would be okay always brought you joy. You had always wanted to be a vet, ever since you were a child.
You were taken away from your thoughts as you felt yourself trip over something large. You fell onto the pavement and scraped up your hands and elbows.
"Ow, what the hell did i trip over?"
You looked around you and saw a dog in front of you, sniffing you as if it was making sure you were okay. It was a black and white border collie that looked like it was mixed with a great pyrenees. You got up a bit and sat on your knees. You immediately forgetting all your pain.
"Hi there, buddy."
The dog stared at you, its tail wagging very fast. You smiled at it and the dog got very excited and jumped up on you. You laughed and pet it, trying to look for a collar. You found it and read the name.
"Ben, huh? Well that's a very nice name for a very nice doggy. I'm (Y/n)."
Ben barked happily and bounced around in front of you and then went into the alley that you were in front of, which you hadn't noticed until now. You looked at him with confusion as he barked into the alley, you got up and followed him with caution. You watched and to your surprise, there was another dog. It was a golden retriever. You squatted down and smiled at it.
"Well, hello there." You tried to coax the dog over and noticed Ben was trying to get it to come over to you as well. The golden retriever was reluctant but came over eventually. You read its collar and the name on it read Matt.
"Well, it's very nice to meet you too, Matt."
Matt's tail began to wag and he sniffed your hand before putting his paw in your hand. You shook it with a smile on your face.
"What a gentleman."
Suddenly, you heard a can rolling in the alley. Another dog? You got excited but the excitement quickly faded when you heard the dog growling at you. You did your best to remain calm. The dog was a beauceron/german shepard mix and had a scar going down the side of its face. You felt yourself tense as it got close and sniffed you. It looked at you and you noticed Ben growling at it, being protective of you. The beauceron mix had a collar too so you tried to reach for it to read the name. As you did, the beauceron jumped, then growled and sank his teeth deep into your hand. Ben immediately bit the back of the beauceron mix's neck and pulled it away from you, growling and barking at it while standing between you and the dog that had just bit you. You didn't scream out in pain, you only winced a little as it stung. Then you made eye contact with the beau mix and smiled, hiding your immense pain.
"It's okay. I'll be fine."
The beauceron's ears perked up in surprise and the it huffed and walked off into the alley. Ben ran back and joined you and Matt, who had been licking your bleeding hand. You smiled at both of the sweet dogs and pet them.
"I'll be okay, but i should really get going or I'll be late for work. I'll be sure to come visit you soon, though."
You told the dogs good bye, while holding your bleeding hand, wrapping it with some of your jacket.
After you were out of sight, Ben went into the alley to where Kylo was laying. He bit his ear as hard as he could without ripping it off and Kylo pushed him off. Ben let go of Kylo's ear and growled at him.
"What the hell was that!?!?"
Kylo huffed and laid back down on his piece of carboard.
"She was gonna touch me and i didn't want her to."
"So you bit her!? She was so nice! She just wanted to know your name!"
Matt joined his brothers and chimed into the conversation.
"I have to side with Ben here, Kylo. Biting her was way out of line. We might be dogs, but you don't have to act like it."
Kylo got up and growled at the other two, Matt backed up a bit but Ben stood still.
"Oh yeah, well how about you tell that to mister tail wagger over here!"
"I couldn't help it, i was excited. She's cute and you know how i am around cute girls!"
Ben and Kylo began bickering and biting at each other and Matt just sighed.
"We'll never be human again."
The other two stopped their fighting and looked at Matt, then each other.
----
Meanwhile, you were at work, taking bandages and gauze to wrap your hand.
"(Y/n), oh my god, what happened?!"
You looked over and saw your friend, Poe. He was a veterinarian at the clinic, and a pretty good one, too. He rushed over to you and bandaged up your hand for you. You told him about the dogs you met in the alley and explained that one of them bit you.
"We need to check for rabies! Maybe they had some other kind of disease! You can't be so reckless, (Y/n)!"
Poe was freaking out worrying about you but you just laughed.
"It's not that big of a deal. It doesn't hurt or anything anymore. I think I'll be fine."
Just then, your boss walked in. Poe was quick to rat you out, for your own good as he put it, and the boss told you to go to the hospital and not to come to work until they knew you were clear of any rabies or infection.
You left work just as quick as you had arrived and meade your way to the hospital across town. As you did, you made sure to pass by the alley again, and just your luck, Ben came rushing at you. He must've smelled you as you got closer and Matt came shortly after, both of them were very happy to see you again.
"Hello boys. I can't stay long i have to go to the hospital. But since I'm here," you rummaged around in your bag and the two dogs looked at you woth confusion, "here, i won't be needing this." You pulled out your breakfast and broke it up into 3 equal pieces. You gave 2 of the pieces to Ben and Matt who seemed like they hadn't eaten in days, and if they were in the alley, then they more than likely haven't. Then you got up and walked to the alley.
"Hello. Other dog. Are you there?" You called out, and sure enough, the growling beauceron came out from its hiding spot. It walked toward you and you smiled and bent down. You held out the food in your bandaged hand, this made the beauceron mix stop in its tracks. It looked at you then looked away as it slowly approached you. When it got a few feet away, you inched towards it, still offering it your breakfast. It looked at you again, as if asking for permission.
"It's okay, my hand is fine. I know you were just protecting your alley." You smiled at the dog and it huffed. It finally got close enough to gently take the food from your hands and then run off to scarf it down. You waited while it ate the food quickly and returned to you. You stared at each other and you held still, your hands on your knees. The beauceron mix walked up to you, and got closer and closer. Then it sat in front of you and looked away. You smiled and slowly reached for its collar, this time it didn't even move.
"Kylo Ren. Wow, that sounds like a very strong name." Kylo's nub of a tail wagged but he remained still, looking angry even if he wasn't. You giggled and the other two boys appeared behind you, Ben whining to get your attention. You turned to him and stood up.
"Im sorry, buddy. That's all i have right now. After i leave the hospital, I'll come back with something yummy for you guys, okay?" You pet Ben and Matt as you walked out of the alley.
Just as you had promised, you left the hospital and picked up some cheap burgers from a fast food joint. It was dark out, you had been at the hospital all day and now it was late in the evening, you were walking to the alley but something felt wrong, but you brushed it off. You were just outside the alley and the 3 dogs saw you. Just as you were about to enter the alley, a man came up behind you and pushed you, face first, against the wall.
"Hey there, beautiful." He whispered in your ear with a deep and gravely jersey voice.
"Get off of me!"
"Ya know, i saw you walking by and just said to myself that i had to have a piece of you."
His words sent a intense shiver down your spine. You looked over your shoulder slightly and saw it was a bearded man in a black trenchcoat and a ski mask, and he smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes.
"G-get off .... or I'll scream!!"
"Scream and I'll gut ya......unless..... you gimme a kiss or all your money. Heh, how about both just for safe measures?"
He pushed something sharp against your back and you cried out for help before the guy kneed you in the back of your right leg. He let you fall to the ground and dragged you into the alley.
"Now your gonna pay." He said as he lifted his hand, a knife held tight in his grip. You closed your eyes as he swung at you but you felt no cut. Instead, you heard a growl. You opened your eyes at the familiar sound.
"The hell was that?" The man turned and from the darkness emurged your new four legged acquaintance, Kylo. He walked closer, intimidating as ever, fangs bared and his eyes staring straight at your attacker. The man started to back up, forgetting you were behind him. You took the opportunity to trip him and get up to run. You ran over to Kylo and he made sure to stand in front of you protectively.
"Hell no! I ain't scared of no dog!"
The man sprinted toward the both of you but Kylo was a lot faster and ran up and bit the man's forearm. The man yelled out in pain and dropped his knife. He fell to the ground and Kylo made sure to stay biting on his arm. While he did, you rushed over and kicked the knife away. The man tried punching Kylo and that was a big mistake. Kylo let go of the man's arm and was about to chomp down on his neck.
"Stop!"
You shouted. Kylo turned to look at you. You were in front of the other 2 dogs and they were all watching as he was about to bite down on this man's neck. Kylo turned back to the man who has passed out from fear. Kylo huffed and turned back around to you and the other dogs, walking over and sniffing you to make sure you were okay. You kneeled down and hugged him tightly.
"Kylo, my hero! Thank you!"
Kylo huffed again and wiggled out of your grip. You laughed and pet him with your bandaged hand.
"Still not the affectionate type, huh?"
You got up to walk toward the unconscious man but were interrupted.
"Hey! What's going on here? Someone reported a lot of noise coming from this alley."
It was a police officer. He put his flashlight down the alley and you quickly walked towards him.
"Officer, this man tried to rob me and threated to stab me!"
You told him everything you could and he cuffed the man, then put him in his car parked outside the alley. The officer came back to talk to you.
"That man had a nasty bite on his arm. Mind explaining that to me?"
"Absolutely. You see, this dog named Kylo was in the alley and saw the man attacking me so he came in to rescue me."
"Well that's very brave. Unfortunately, they are out on the streets so I'll have to take them to the pound."
Just then, Ben, Matt, and Kylo came over to you and looked up at you. The police officer noticed their collars.
"Oh, are these your dogs?"
You looked down at the dogs who were looking at you with concern, you smiled and then looked back up at the officer.
"Yes, sir." You said happily. Matt and Ben began wagging their tails and looked at the cop with a proud posture.
"They are supposed to be on a leash if they aren't indoors or at the dog park, miss."
"I'm sorry, sir. I live just a few buildings down and they are very well trained. They always stay close to me so i was taking them out for a short walk and-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's enough. I'm gonna let you off with a warning seeing as i got more important things to deal with right now."
The police officer gestured to the man who attacked you and you sighed in relief. You thanked the officer and he went to his car and drove off. You looked down at the 3 dogs and smiled.
"Let's go home."
#solo triplets#matt solo x reader#kylo ren x reader#ben solo x reader#matt solo#kylo ren#ben solo#star wars
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Entry 8 (12.20.2020)
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well).
I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick.
I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.
Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM
-jen
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Undying Au- What chapter is this
help
“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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