#i wish i knew what to do

[marxistcomedy]

the photomatt ban spree is like . rage inducing and horrifying on so many levels but the bleakest to me is how many of these women rely on tumblr to raise funds for survival . left feeling so sick and worried about people i don’t even know because i don’t know what’s going to happen to them now that they’ve been violently cut off from the network of support they have here . glad people are still reblogging aline’s links and will continue to do so myself but im so afraid for her and for every transfem still on here and every transfem that’s already been erased

this is what social murder looks like . we are watching it happen in real time

[fairycosmos]

i feel like the more i push myself to be better the more stressed i get and the more i backslide in terms of depression and self harm/destructive behaviours but if i don't push myself and i never do anything i get locked in a cycle of apathy and nothingness which also leads to backsliding. so it's like what the fuck man

[miraclemaya]

it kinda fucking sucks that love isn't enough that it doesn't fucking matter if you love someone sometimes

[crownjewel123]

*clears throat* excuse me, *lets out long winded scream*

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

BESTIES-

I come to you with this urgent news bulletin-

Do not be super nice to everyone when you start a new job!

This sounds terrible.

Here’s the thing-

I’ve been at this job for about a week, and y’all I have been trying HARD.

Because this is a store and I’m working at the counter and there’s a million things to do and I’m so confused all the time and I need this stupid fucking job and both my mom and my brother sent me money to help me pay my rent this month (which yes I am a useless piece of shit thank you for asking).

And there’s a guy who works there doing overnight stocking and I introduced myself to him and another girl who works overnight one of the first nights last week (I really like her eye makeup but I’m not brave enough to tell her that).

And I have seen this guy every night and we talked a little bit about like taking the bus but just dumb shit like that.

And yesterday he asked me out.

Like he told me he wanted to asked me out because he likes the kind of person I am and thinks I’m down to earth.

And I am so confused.

Y’all.

I haven’t been on a date in five years- and that’s mostly by choice.

Like when the pandemic started, it had been almost two years since I’d been on a date.

And the thing- I don’t miss it AT ALL.

But when he asked me out I was so stunned I said yes and now we have plans to go out on Saturday and he asked me to pick him up cause I have a car (which I guess is good cause then I can drop him off after) and we exchanged numbers and he like REALLY likes me. Like he’s texted me a bunch of times and told me to call him and I’m like how the bell did this happen?

Like I wish I had any ability to say no.

Like he texted me again to say how much he liked me as a person and I texted back “thank you” because I didn’t want to say I like him as a person but just not a person I want to date because I don’t honest to god know if there is a person I want to date.

I don’t know what to do and I feel so guilty and confused.

[celticwoman]

.

[lockpickingliar]

Saw Mouthwashing last night and damn. Love to get the horrors of what I've become violently spat back in my face.

Take responsibility.

Yeah.

I can imagine he feels the same way and that's why he dotes on me and does what he does--to try to make me happy.

But maybe it's just as much for him, too. I'm softer like that. More like how we were before everything went wrong. Maybe it makes him feel like we didn't lose anything. Maybe he doesn't like that I'm unable to set the guilt aside when he's trying so so hard to, so he makes it so I'll at least shut up about it.

I don't mind being whatever he wants me to be. If he likes me better small, then I'll happily stay that way. I can at least do that much for him.

I just wish he didn't need me...

No.

That's a lie.

It's more like I wish he wouldn't keep me around to torture himself all the time. I don't mind being needed. I like being needed.

But as much as he needs me, my very presence is a constant reminder of what happened. Of what I did to him and where we are now. He doesn't like it, pretends that I don't, makes me softer so it hurts less, but that doesn't stop it.

He doesn't deserve that.

[ghost-of-icarus]

My roommate and I both went to the local health department to try and establish primary care. (Both of us haven't ever had a consistent Dr) She was really rude to both of us and completely ignored our concerns. 😭 (We're both disabled) Why is this shit so overwhelming??

[oomox]

im scared

[mformental]

I feel so annoying and overbearing and clingy. I don't know how to behave like a normal friend.

[wiitzend]

i'm good in school. i can learn the material pretty quickly, i ace the tests and the exams and i get straight A's but i absolutely hate going to school. i hate the studying and i hate writing essays and i hate the homework. the entire thought of going to school makes me deeply unmotivated and its been this way since high school. i'd love to drop out but it makes no sense to withdraw from my classes now when the semester is almost over.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!

(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)

[verbalisations]

the pain of others is felt so physically. i can't stop crying today

[undeadlust666]

I don't know why I even fucking bother anymore. Every time I try to help out with something, I always feel like I'm annoying the other person more than anything.

[fagcrush]

I should do something other than Tumblr since Tumblr usually just upsets me more but I. Don't have energy for anything else.

[hinamie]

bunch of portraits