#im saying this as a gay man

[epicvampiretime]

its so funny bc when i was a kid i was like ‘im a boy uwu!! i use he/him pronouns and i like kokichi (specifically) from danganronpa! i am 12 uears old :)’ but now its like

‘my body is alien to me. i am disgusted by these parts, but i am forced to live as this. i dont recognize the person i see in the mirror, and i dont believe that i ever did. words cannot even begin to describe the misery i feel. i am trapped. cursed to forever live as someone i am not. death would be a mercy, yes, and i long for it. and yet, i am afraid to die. knowing i would be remembered as someone i am not. the concept of ‘girlhood’ sounds monsterous and grotesque. this constant, unending state of torture. i am seen as less than human by others. inherently rejected for who i truly am. i am the villiage monster. also i still like kokichi from danganronpa.’

[spaceytoxinz]

Technically speaking, my homophobic abuser was pretty gay for abusing me. If he's still alive I'll visit him in prison and come out as a guy just to see his reaction.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[feelingthedisaster]

The King's Men's plot structure is genius.

TKM has been critized a lot for not following the conventional plot structure, because it doesnt end inmediatly at the resolution of the climax, like they taught us in class. But it actually has a reason behind it and it think that is what makes AFTG unique and Nora Sakavic an amazing writer. I'll explain.

So, we all know AFTG has a lot of chess metaphors, however i think it doesnt contain the metaphors, it is the metaphor. Each character represents a piece of the board (Riko king, Kevin queen, Neil pawn, Andrew knight, etc) and exy is the chess, but but but, a chess game not only involves the pieces, the game cannot exist without someone playing, the chess masters (which would be Kengo, Ichiriu, Nathan and all the mafia stuff).

So, AFTG is divided into two plots happening at the same time: what happens on the chess board (exy season) and what happens outside it (the mafia mess).

Of couse, the climax has to be about the outside out, because who cares which one of pieces move in which way if the players are pointing guns at eachother under the board? The guns are more more important. So who cares? The pieces on the board care, the ones that are being played with. And who is the narrator? The character that represents the pawn, the less important figure of the entire room.

Yeah, the 'outside of the board' plot is over half way into the book, but it doesnt matter because that happens outside the board, the chess game has not ended yet. The pawn cannot go back to rest in the box until the game is over, until the king dies. The book cannot be over until the chess game our protagonist is a piece of ends. The books have to end with the king's (Riko) death and that is exactly what happens.

If this isnt excellent writing and one of the best examples of know the rules so you can break them, i dont what is.

[smolbeanmerlin]

*PRESSES LOUD RED BUZZER* WRONG

The Captain is NOT an example of the 'bury the gays' trope, and it is utterly stupid to think that he is. The article states that the Captain "plays into the stereotype that gay characters live sad, unfulfilling lives" which, if you've watched BBC Ghosts, isn't entirely true. The author also seems to criticise the show for not having the Captain come out of the closet to explore his sexuality. I'll forever love the writers for not deciding to go down that trope, because just like 'bury your gays' it is predictable and so overused in queer media. We know the Captain is gay, the character himself has known that for at least 80 years and the audience doesn't need a confession nor an explicit internal conflict for us to know this. Additionally I am so glad they didn't make the Captain's character arc about his sexuality, because it would be a lazy and overdone story that completely overlooks the Captain as a whole. The BBC version of Ghosts treats the Captain as a somewhat overbearing, orderly and reserved man (which we see change as the series develops), NOT as the gay character who didn't get a chance to tell the man he loved about his feelings for him (which of course is an important aspect of the Captain but it doesn't define who he is or what he does). There is no mistake that the writers made with the character of the Captain.

[tiktaalic]

People are always getting mad at famous gay men in their 50s because they said something catty and mean. Do you support gay rights or not

[cosmicredcadet]

A character looks straight into the camera and says "I'm not interested in romance" and people will still say "No, it's not confirmed they're aromantic!!!" "They could change their mind!!!" "it's a challenge for them to overcome!!!" "They'll have character development that makes them fall in love"

It's like they are given the most blatant answer to a character romantic orientation and they actively ignore it. all the while all it takes is subtext for people to speak as if it is fact for a character to be any other sexuality.

[garbagequeer]

since 2010 we have lived in a beautiful world where you can go online and read stories about real life heterosexual evil millionaires where they’re decent and in gay love with each other. all because they put andrew garfield and his big ass brown eyes in a movie. 13 years ago

[rouge-the-bat]

people tend to be like "lol this guy is sooo in denial" if a straight person has sex with someone of the same gender, but actually. they really might not be.

people can have sex with others without being attracted to them, and they just want to have fun having sex.

or hell, they could just have the occasional exception of gay attraction, but its rare enough that theyd find it inaccurate/misleading to tell others theyre bi (and dont have interests in microlabels). them going on a dating site and saying theyre bi would expand the dating pool to a lot more people they would just have no interest in.

or, they may be bisexual but heteromantic, and when looking for relationships, they want to persue both romance and sex, so theyll just use straight to make it easier.

sexuality labels are used different from person to person, some use it to describe action, others use it to describe attraction, or a mix, or otherwise, or even use it just as a "close enough" to get whatever they want about themselves across to others simply.

i know "straight man who has sex with a man" and "straight woman who has sex with a woman" may initially come across as contradictory, or that theyre bi or gay in denial, but identities and their applications/uses are more complex than just a few set labels.

and i think we should trust what a stranger decides to identify themselves as, they know themselves better than others would. you can talk it over with them if you suspect they truly ARE in denial, but if they dont want to or still end up saying theyre straight, just accept it and move on.

and of course, this also applies to gay men who have sex with a woman or lesbians who have sex with a man. its not just "internalized biphobia" as the answer every time, and saying that its always that is very assumptive of people you dont even know.

other peoples lives and experiences can always be different than youd expect, and may even not make sense to you, but its THEIR life and identity to define. you can give them advice, but you cant force it on them, and certainly cant say what their identity TRULY is. only the person themselves can have a say in that.

[sluckythewizard]

PART OF A BIGGER DOODLE PAGE. WHEN ITS DONE ILL TUCK THE LINK INTO THIS LITTLE X RIGHT HERE ----> [X] I REALLY REALLY LOVE THE TOM N JERRY DYNAMIC W EMIZEL N VEX. IMAGINE BEING SO SO HAUNTED BY A LITTLE GUY THATS JUST SSSSOO FUCKING ANNOYING.

[fossilizedhysterics]

guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

[ninjasmudge]

feeds your narilamb yuri juice

dude i have great news about my regular narilamb

[cestacruz]

i wanna apologize for watching Challengers (2024) only to draw these three to it because i thought of the kiss scene as a joke and almost had a stroke from how hot Windblade is

[justaz]

i don't like putting homophobia in my fictional worlds so like when i think of bbc merlin i like to imagine uther as a classist anti-magic bigot but a hashtag ally. anyways i thought of a way to make homophobia make sense in canon without it being like. serious?

we know that true love is a force powerful enough to overpower any love spell so i think it's safe to say that love is the most powerful force in albion, above even magic. and this is smth i maybe made up but sex is a sacred thing in magic and to the druids. sex rituals happen all the time and the power from sex fuels spells to make them more powerful.

how would uther weaken the magical community? outlaw wlw and mlm relationships to that love and sex can't be used in magic. he couldn't outlaw love and sex entirely as men and women needed to have children to continue on the population. he uses the new religion to push that it's immoral to engage in mlm/wlw relationships and that's what arthur grew up hearing but he's known since he was a kid that he's gay so he has his own super deadly secret he can't let anyone know.

the druids never bend to uther's laws and continue their free love and that's why arthur is always sympathetic to their plight and hates when his father sends him to raid their camps because part of him feels like he's hurting his own people. it's also why uther is able to get away with attacking peaceful people without anybody bashing him for it - they have magic and they're immoral.

so uther has his anti-magic laws but also his anti-love laws