#im sO late to this we were playing stuPID friendship games

[idkwhatimdoingbutrandom]

CIRCLE SEASON SIX EPISODE FOIVEEEE SORRY IM LATE

I can not BELIEVE it took us so long to get to the first blocking of the season

I really feel like no one can fully blame Myles for suspecting Steffi because basically everyone was and for somewhat good reason? Except all of the reasons were based on the misinterpretation of AI lmao

Myles seems really nice

Lauren really talks like she knows she on camera, which makes sense considering she is (or was?) a streamer. Everyone else kinda talks like they’re just talking to themselves. 

You can TELL Steffi was pissed during her convo with Myles and ykw… I would be too lmao. 

There is NO WAY production doesn’t tell people what to say in their goodbye messages. I’ve thought this for a while, but it is SO obvious this season with Steffi and was super obvious last season. 

I love Brandon 

Caress is SO BAD at this game LMAO

Cassie is so silly lol

Omg they’re revealing Max. I hate that they made him so nice. I didn’t think they’d reveal him right away. I personally prefer the Spice Girls twist because that season… SOOO GOOD. The AI twist is just boring in comparison. 

No one guessed it was Max so if anyone puts a target on Myles’ back, that’s freaking stupid. 

… sorry Lauren :(

Myles is a good chatter. One of the best at the game so far. 

Ok Cassie’s #BlondeMoment message was NOT that serious. It seemed VERY jokey to me. She’s ALSO blonde??? 

Someone SHOOT ME I JUST SPOILEDDDD IT GOING INTO THE TAG IM GONNA THROW UP

I WISHHHH Brandon got to go in as himself :(((((( he would’ve done so much BETTER 

Cassie DID NOT come for Myles, it was NOT that serious???? I really don’t understand this one. I felt like she was just adding on to the “hurdur AI engineer” joke?

I’m tired of all the “let’s make an alliance/who should I have an alliance with” convos. Can we play a game. This used to be fun. I completely understand that it makes complete sense strategically, but let me at least pretend that everyone is forming real friendships lmao

The games are NOT as slick as the past seasons. Like come on… “poor-traits”… at least let people CHOOSE to be shady. 

Some of these pairings are just SO OBVIOUS for this portait thing

QT IS SO DAMN PRETTY and very good at this game. 

Cassie PLEASE make another alliance. 

HOW can Myles say he meant the snake portrait as a joke when he couldn’t take the BlondeMoment as a joke??? And then started to tell QT about hoe Cassie is this sneaky, lying person? Line hello???

MYLES ACTUALLY REVEALED HE DID IT??? MYLES YOUR GAME!!! WHAT ABOUT YOUR GAME???? IT WAS ANON FOR A REASON. At least he’s being gracious about it… interesting 🤔 

Cassie should’ve ACTED like she forgave him and then started chatting smack about him with people who don’t already have a little alliance with Myles. Not forgiving him is bad for her game too, imo. 

MYLES don’t trauma dump to us trauma dump to the circle for your game gang 🙏🏾 what ever happened to “what would you do with the money” manipulation LMAO

QT is GOOOOD at this. Like this isn’t just a conversation about making an alliance, but it’s her GENUINELY MANIPULATING THE GAME!!!! GOOD JOB GIRL!!!! She didn’t have to say the “let’s make an alliance” thing, she could’ve left it there and she would’ve done good. But I understand the need for assurance. 

[britneyshakespeare]

ohhhh my godddd girls i have got the best gossip for you tonight

i was catching up w the two best friends i have made in the past year, like, easily. i met a lot of people in 2022 but these are the two people i felt very much like i bonded w them as individuals and i feel certain our friendship will last a lot longer. great feeling! we love that. the first is a girl i met in like may 2022 and the other guy i met in november. they already knew each other, vaguely, but i met them completely separate. we were all interconnected by a larger group of people, many of whom i don’t talk to anymore... whatever. these are my two best friends of the past year. is the point.

the woman i’m friends w, i met her in a mostly-male group of friends. we clicked like instantly. i sat next to her while playing games and we had good banter right off the bat and we had some pretty personal conversations, we got to know each other, yadda yadda. friendship-deepening stuff, we love to see it. but there was this guy in the group, he had a thing for me. has? who knows who cares. he used to tease me for looking like a teenager, apparently, in a like. kind of flirtatious thing like he thought of me as a little lolita. i’m going to be 24 in a few months, so i’m not quite jailbait, but like, he is also 11 years older than me... yeahhhhhh.

he really thought for the first few months i knew him that i was flirting w him, apparently. he asked me directly one time in a kind of friendly “i just wanna make sure im not missing social cues” way. and i kept this to myself at first bc i didn’t wanna “start drama” or embarrass anybody but after he ended up having a completely stupid and unrelated falling out w me and my new bestie, i did bring it up w her like “and i think this is another reason this guy doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore.” and she confirmed like, “yeah, i knew he liked you but i didn’t wanna tell you in case it made you uncomfortable.”

but tonight when we got on the topic, she told me. whenever we’d hang out and he was there, apparently this made him jealous. because naturally i’d want to sit w my favorite person in the group, i’d hit it off the most w her. like i certainly was not cold to anybody else, but we’re all allowed to have best friends, right? it’s not exclusionary; we weren’t rejecting anyone else. i would simply sit w her the most and chat and laugh w her the most. other people were invited to join in our revels. in fact we hung out w this particular guy as a trio on several occasions.

i talked about how it was funny that this guy really had the audacity to ask me if i was flirting w him when it was so obvious to me i had another favorite in the room lol. like a pretty constant preference. i made a clear effort to be closer to and spend quality time w this female friend i had. but he still messaged me late one night like “are we flirting” uhmmm....... no brother i felt bad for you if anything because i was worried you might’ve felt like you were third-wheeling. not being flirted w. lol

and my friend was like. “yeah. he even messaged me one time about how i sit w diana too much and he wants to get closer to you so stop being possessive and going off on your own w her.” 

?????????

BROTHER YOU KNEW I WAS NOT HITTING ON YOU

[hoteyelinerguy]

MERCHMERCHMERCH

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[elliesbaby]

anything for you

ellie williams x f!reader

"i hear you but you're not getting it!"

warnings: swearing, implied smut

there was a girl in jackson that you'd been pining over since you had arrived. unfortunately that person was also your best friend. ellie williams. you two did everything together. every patrol you two were paired. every night you'd eat dinner with her or joel. you guys spent so many sleepless nights playing video games and creating pre-apocalypse lives for the people in jackson. so you didn't understand why for the past week ellie had been ignoring you.

whenever you'd come close to her she would run over to dina and you could tell they were talking about you. you'd always see dina giggling and waving at you. you felt like they were taunting you. putting the salt on the burn. you just wish you knew why ellie wouldn't talk to you.

little did you know, ellie had a massive crush on you. everyone knew but you. she had managed to keep it hidden from you in hopes of keeping your friendship okay. but it had been eating away at her. she couldn't look at you without wanting to kiss you. the last time you guys spoke was when you both were at ellies. it had gotten late and you both ended up falling asleep right next to each other but this time when ellie woke up she felt your arms around her. she knew it was only because you were sleeping and that you didn't realize you did this but she was so happy until she realized it was just that. an accident. that you didn't actually have feelings for her. she got up and ended up journaling and drawing all morning about you.

after that she decided she couldn't be around you or else she would spill it all. the only person she had talked to about it was dina. that was until she saw y/n angrily staring at the both of you and she realized y/n probably thinks she hated her. “maybe it's best this way” ellie had thought. even if it ate her alive, and it did.

you had decided it was time to talk to ellie, or force her to talk. you loved her too much to give up. you wanted to try to tell her how you felt about her or scream at her for being so reckless with your emotions. honestly either worked for you at that moment.

you tied your converses and headed over to the small place she lived at.

once you arrived you knocked on the painted door.

“who is it?” says a gruff tired voice

“y/n, let me in” you demand.

she opens the door and you walk in, half expecting to see dina.

“what the fuck is going on” ellie spurts out.

“what the fuck is going on? you've been ignoring me all week! we used to spend every day together! you just disappeared out of fucking nowhere and now youre asking me whats going on?”

“i think it's best if you go, im sorry y/n” ellie sighs out as she puts her hands over her face and sits.

“ellie all i wanted was for you to hear me then i was going to leave.” you say holding back tears.

“i hear you but you're not seeing it!”

i see pretty clearly, i see you talking to dina, giggling, always looking back at me as if i did something so awful to you! I've just wanted to be your friend!

thats the fucking problem” ellie borderline screamed.

well fine ellie if that's such a problem then i'm just wasting time trying to talk to you

you turn away and start to walk away

“stupid girl”

you look back and start charging at her. you were angry. it was one thing to talk behind my back but calling me stupid is another thing.

as you charge up to her you raise your hand to slap her and she softly grabs it and holds it against her chest.

“y/n.. i love you stupid. i never hated you, i could never hate anyone as perfect as you.” ellie clashes her lips against yours the second she gets the words out. you felt the happiest you’ve ever been. you thought this whole time she hated you but she loved you back. ellie has her hand on the back of your head and a slight grip on your hair as she pulls you deeper in the kiss. you feel yourself melting into the shape of her. you couldn't kiss hard enough. you glide your hands against her stomach as she tightens her grip on you. this causes a gasp to slip out against her lips and you can feel her smirking. you pull away and hit her shoulder, “that's for making me think you hate me!” you say giggling. then you feel your body flying down onto the bed. “that was for ever thinking i could hate the person i've been in love with this entire time” you look up at her and give her the biggest puppy dog eyes you could and whisper out “im sorry williams” in an attempt to taunt her. she lets out a sigh and a grunt of annoyance in how badly she wanted to put you in your place. she leans over your body bringing her face dangerously close to your face. you feel your cheeks turning red as you look at her lips basically begging for more. she lifts her thumb to brush against your bottom lip.

“what do you want y/n?”

you couldn't take anymore of the waiting, you grab the collar of her shirt and pull her against you and kiss her harder than before.

“you know what i want”

Ellie lets out a smirk as she starts unbuttoning your pants..

“anything for you babe”

a/n: sorry for the rushed fics, ive been busy but want to feed the gaybies.

[wincore]

vixen | nakamoto yuta

pairing: kitsune!yuta x female!reader

words: 5.1k 

summary: every year, you visit the fox who claims to know everything about you. 

genre: fantasy/folklore, fluff, angst(?)

warnings: suggestive, mention of past bullying, one excessively flirty nakamoto yuta

song rec(s): clear and sunny - sou (cover)

a/n: this is for all you furries who aren’t quite furries yet muah (im joking) but aaaa love exploring folklore and also i should put in a disclaimer that not every aspect adheres to the original tales of the kitsune <3 i did not proofread btw and i am very sorry

Some things never change.

Examples: boys, shitty friends, death, and the scent of nostalgia. To you, that very scent happens to be the earthy smell of chrysanthemums and a faint waft of spices from the kitchen in your parents’ house. To you, October is not just another month. To you, there is one more thing that never changes and it is not your belief in old ghost stories. 

Around this time of the year, the autumn festival begins in a flurry of vibrant red smudges and a whiff of excitement, in streets suddenly brought alive. The skies are candied orange, and it’s the only time you aren’t tired of home. This time is also when you find yourself right in the clutches of the one demon you swore you’d avoid for the rest of your life. You swore. It’s not your fault that said demon is a little, let’s say, tempting. 

Tempting in the most vexing, infuriating way possible. Bewitching, cruel, seducing—all that foxes are and all that you’ve heard of them could not have prepared you for an encounter. Folklore runs deep through you. The memories of a certain fox-boy run deeper. 

It is not the festival you are here for. 

You yawn, leaning against the wooden door frame of the shop. It would be inappropriate to fall asleep on the job, especially since there are a bunch of children staring idly at you. You close your mouth quickly, resting the back of your hand against your lips. Late afternoon is an easy time to fall asleep. You have half the mind to snarl at the kids to scare them off, their gaze getting on your nerves and when you think you will, you turn the other way. Manners come first to you, no matter how temperamental you get. 

The procession has gathered a crowd. Some shouts and squeals from the children make you slump further. At least they’re having fun with whatever stupid game they’re playing. You breathe in the autumn air. A part of you wonders if you simply let your feet lead you down the stairs, you’d be free of this entire ordeal. You shake your head. Temptation has always been hard to resist—never meant to be resisted but you’re much older now. There is dignity to be answered.

October is mild—your grandmother’s shop is still on the verge of collapse, your mother still yells at you for misplacing kitchen utensils and your old friends from school still gossip about who you’re dating. It’s like the script never changes; people change the meaning, twist their words in the same old pattern. If you were a little less behaved, you would have poured your drink over their heads yesterday. 

You clench your jaw. It’s always an ‘Oh, you’re so attractive’ and an ‘I wish I could date as many men as you do but I’m loyal to my boyfriend’, or even a ‘Must be nice being surrounded by boys all the time’. You know what they mean. It’s not the first time you’ve been called a fox, and you don’t think it’ll be the last—at least until you decide to stop letting your hometown suffocate you. Maybe you’ll accept what they say. You have heard of what hatred left unchecked can do.

If you’re honest, you haven’t been with too many men. If you’re a little more honest, none of them have ever made your heart race.

You watch the children play with a keen eye, their painted masks ridiculously large for their faces and in brightly coloured clothes contrasting well with the town. You might not be allowed to fall asleep, but there’s nothing against closing your eyes for a second or two.

The image of glinting yellow eyes and a fanged smile pop up and you quickly open your eyes. You don’t know why your heart beats so loud at the mere thought of him, thoughts in which his lips are full and painted red, and his bright smile is stretched upon them. Sometimes, the thought of him is in gentle washes, his hand fixing your hair, or a flirty smile when you dare stumble upon him on a particularly sleepless night. You shake your head to get rid of the thought. That is not love. Some sort of embarrassing attraction, maybe. However, the friendship you have is worse.

“I see you’re a slacker as always.”

Your grandmother’s voice breaks you out of your cycle of thoughts and you’re almost grateful.

“I sold approximately zero sweets,” you snort. “Why can’t we just do away with the shop?”

“You’re starting to sound like your mother,” your grandma calls from behind one of the counters, distaste ringing clear in her voice. 

You sigh. “Fine, but… you work way too hard to make these for them to not sell.”

“Maybe they would sell if a certain little lady would stay and help.”

You groan, leaning your head back. “You know I have work in the city.”

Your grandmother waves her hand about, dismissing your reasoning. She fiddles around in the shadows for a bit before coming forward with more boxes than she should be able to hold.

“You don’t have to feel too guilty. Yuta’s been helping out,” your grandmother informs fondly. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”

You’re not the superstitious sort and yet still, your heart beats faster. For him, or for the bad omens foxes bring to a household—you don’t know.

You scoff instead. “He’s not as great a guy as you think, grandma. He can be really mean too!”

“Oh, I doubt that. Have you seen his smile? Impossible.” Your grandmother waves it off before drawing nearer, voice hushed without reason. “Have you thought about it then? He is handsome, isn’t he?”

“Grandma.”

You’re not sure what old women go through in their youth that makes them something of a matchmaker in their later years. You think the whole ordeal is messed up. There is no way you’re going to stick your nose into your grandchildren’s love life; it’s gross.

“These should be enough for the children, no?” Your grandmother asks and you look up.

“You’re giving them away for free?” you question, furrowing your eyebrows. “And you talk about bad business.”

She places her hand on her hip, pointing an accusatory finger. “You’re going to lecture your grandmother?”

You raise your hands up in defeat, standing up to help her with the red boxes of acorn candy and paper wraps of roasted chestnuts. You end up with the entire load in your arms, your grandmother happily shuffling about as she locks up the store.

You turn sharply at the surprised sound behind you. The evening has settled in and glowing lanterns bring forward the evidence, the darkening streets flooding with round droplets of light.

But it is not the festival you are looking at.

Yuta looks somewhat serene, your cheeks heating up despite yourself. You look at him with bated breath, hoping the boxes obscure your face enough to make the vaguely positive emotions less evident. The dark red jacket draped over his shoulder does not look out of place—in fact, he fits in so well you would’ve mistaken him for another face in the crowd if he weren’t stupidly gorgeous. He looks at you with no strong emotion in the eyes before breaking into a smile; and when his hand strokes the top of your head as a greeting, he seems fond. He always does.

“Grandma,” he calls with his best smile, turning to the old woman.

Your grandmother doesn’t need any more convincing of his character. 

“Oh, there you are! Did I tell you (name)’s back? I wanted to break the news to you earlier. Ah…I must have forgotten.”

You glance from Yuta to her. Is this another one of her tricks and tests?

“She’s always here this time of the year,” he responds, laughing politely.

“Ah, you remembered,” she says, eyes crescent as she smiles back. “Help her with the boxes. The city has made her so frail.”

“I’m good,” you choke on the words, hurriedly moving away and almost dropping one of the boxes.

You slip on your sandals and scurry off faster, wishing he’d just stay behind. He always has. The air makes you shiver but you’re adamant; and it’s not the only trait of yours to make relationships fail.

“You know, you should be nicer to old friends.”

You try not to react when Yuta takes the boxes from you, matching your pace almost effortlessly.

“I thought foxes ran away once they’re found out,” you snap, reluctantly letting him take the packages.

Yuta rolls his eyes. “I see you still aren’t very fond of me.”

“Not when you’re tricking my grandmother like this,” you hiss.

“You call helping trickery?” he retaliates.

“Foxes bring bad business,” you mutter.

“I’m the reason your grandmother’s business is somewhat above the water.”

You sigh, exasperated. There’s no point in wasting your breath. You look away, crossing your arms as you walk, the silence between the two of you suddenly awkward. Even so, you’re not going to open your mouth for him.

“Would you two slow down?” your grandmother calls, voice weary. “We’re already there.”

The two of you halt in your tracks immediately, taking mellow steps back to her. She looks over the two of you with furrowed eyebrows and you try to think of an explanation when she starts laughing.

“Oh, I don’t mind the two of you flirting,” she says, littered with slow laughter. “Just make sure the food is where it’s supposed to be.”

You’re about to refute when Yuta laughs, the sound still boyish and lively. “Of course. (name) missed me so much this year, she couldn’t help herself.”

You give him a pointed look which he ignores, deliberately or not. “We- I wasn’t—”

“Grandmother, if you’ll give us permission,” he interrupts, settling the packages on the table by the food stall and smiling wide. “We’ll go enjoy the festival now.”

She bobs her head in affirmation and Yuta grabs your hand to pull you into the bustling street, your silent plea for help ignored by your smug grandmother.

“What are you doing?” you ask, slipping your hand from his. “You aren’t- You aren’t trying to eat my liver, are you?”

“Why the liver? Can’t I have the rest of you too?”

It’s not like you were particularly alarmed but his response makes you feel a flush of embarrassment.

“It’s been a year since I last saw you,” he says before his voice turns a shade cooler. “Have you thought about my proposal?”

You fall silent. The overthinking started last year too. Your thoughts and dreams, so easily pervaded by him and all it took was one sentence. 

“We should get married.”

“Why did you even think I’d agree to that?” You try not to get too flustered. He knows all your petty weaknesses and you’d rather not have them on display for him to stare and pick at. “What the fuck would I get out of marrying you?”

Yuta whistles. “I like your tongue. But—yes, to answer your question, you’d get a very handsome and capable husband. Your bed will always be warm and oh, speaking of beds—”

You clamp your hand over his mouth at the suggestive look he sends, worried about being spotted by one of your school friends. Ah, right—friends, the very same people that smell of jealousy and won’t miss any opportunity to throw a jab your way. Friends. You can’t believe you’re still afraid of their judgement.

“And why do you want to get married to me?” you ask, looking into his eyes.

There’s a pause, filled with the chatter of the crowd.

“You look like you’re afraid of finding someone,” he speaks finally, ignoring your question. “Or is it the other way around?”

You roll your eyes, ready to walk off when he grabs your wrist to pull you closer to his chest. It draws some looks from nearby people, your eyes darting from face to face in fear. You take a deep breath and look at Yuta again, almond eyes distracting. 

“People will think we’re lovers,” you whisper, almost a hiss.

“What’s wrong with that?”

You breathe out in disbelief. “You’re really something.”

“What? Why did you always come to meet me then? Behind the keyaki tree?”

“It wasn’t for you,” you lie quickly. “I had nothing better to do.”

Pining after a fox? You could never have feelings for him. Even so, your answer comes off childish and silly, and somehow he’s the only one to be able to draw that side of you—the you that is messy and unprepared.

Yuta smiles in return. “You think people can’t fall in love with us the same way they fall in love with most everything.”

It’s a statement, not a question.

“How conservative of you,” he leaves with an airy remark, but not before urging you to follow him.

The sizzling sound of food being fried and the knocking, clicking sound of children playing games, all these forgotten sounds grow louder and for a second, if only you let yourself, you could close your eyes and it would be just like your first date. 

No. It’s different. You look up, eyes trailing over Yuta’s back, his golden hair, how his figure moves with ease and confidence.

It is different.

You raise an eyebrow at the box of takoyaki Yuta shoves towards you, an expecting look across his face.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asks, an uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice.

You hum in response, taking the box from him and saving yourself the trouble of asking whether he paid for it or simply charmed his way through. 

“Eh, no thank you?” he complains. “How polite.”

You scrunch your nose to accompany an exaggerated smile and he laughs, the two of wandering over the asphalt streets. Your hands are close enough to brush—and if a twenty-something year-old woman can feel jittery because of it, hands truly are meant to share warmth. The smell of candy and caramel fills the air, making you smile. You’ve saved enough for the taste of home, you think. 

The taste of home. 

Inevitably, the thought of kissing your companion crosses your mind and you stop in your tracks. Whatever. It must be natural when someone as attractive is beside you. Those aren’t feelings. You curse yourself for feeling like a teenager again.

The festival grounds aren’t as shabby as you expect them to be. The city,—if you could call this one—stops here and the earth spreads out to the forest behind. The crowd also thins, and you take a fresh breath. They’re selling old books in the corner, but no one seems to be there.

“The raccoon dogs,” Yuta whispers in your ear, with an arcane smile. “Want to visit those rascals?”

You roll your eyes. He knows you’ve heard one too many folktales for a lifetime, seen one too many. It’s time to go home, especially now that the thought of thanking him crosses your mind. You’re about to turn when your shoulder crashes into someone else’s. A surprised, syrupy smile greets you, which you cannot return for the first few moments. Yui’s smile wavers and you flash her a quick smile. A friend. Her arm is looped through her lover’s, the one she never shuts up about and suddenly the urge to pour water over her head returns.

Yuta glances from you to her before pressing his lips together, as if suppressing laughter. You’re almost offended when Yui laughs flippantly.

“You’re on a date too? I knew you couldn’t stand spending the festival alone,” she says, tugging her lover closer. 

People have always told you who you are and what you do. As if they know better.

You smile awkwardly. “It’s… actually not—”

“Oh, don’t be shy.” She gently pats your shoulder before leaning in. “He’s a real catch. As expected from you. You can never leave the boys alone.”

You know what she really means. You’ve heard the same words in high school when she was shoving you into a wall behind the school. The sickening smile is still on her face.

You gulp, feeling sixteen again. The lack of people around somehow makes it more awkward and you’re about to excuse yourself when suddenly, Yuta bumps into Yui and his warm drink spills over her left shoulder. Your eyes widen, more in confusion. When did he leave? You don’t doubt his ability to sneak past people, but surely you couldn’t have been so enraptured in your own feelings that you barely noticed.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuta says, voice honeyed with surprise.

Yui looks like she’s about to explode when she looks at him, her expression dropping to a calmer one almost immediately.

It’s an easy look to recognize. They always have it when they first meet Yuta, whether it’s the smile that’s too dazzling or the pretty round eyes. 

How persuasive, those eyes.

“Ah… I must have not seen you,” she says faintly, and Yuta’s smile widens.

Before he can stir up more trouble, you slip your arm into his and pull him away, not caring for another polite apology to an old, almost nameless face.

“I was having fun,” Yuta complains, voice still smug and calm.

You glare at him and it only seems to add fuel to the fire, to whatever cold fire dances at his fingertips. 

“You’re happy, right? Don’t look at me like that. You should reward me.”

You don’t respond, looking away and hoping to get at least a word in about how troublesome he is every single time you visit. Yuta has other plans, however. Leaning his head to look you in the eye, he maintains a distance which looks perfectly decent but feels less than so.

“How about a kiss? I deserve one, don’t I?” He moves his head closer to yours, making you shy away.

You grab him by the belt and pretend to not catch a glimpse of the pleased look on his face as you drag him into a secluded part by the forest.

It’s quieter here, so much that you can almost hear your own heart drumming in your chest, and the faint light of the distant festival grounds doesn’t help much at all. It’s dark as dusk, and you can only make out Yuta’s jawline and a faint smirk over his lips. You think that if a fox ever wanted to eat your liver, this would be the perfect spot.

“You did something,” you finally utter the words. “You did something to me.”

“Why do you think I did something? Do you mean love?” he responds with a cheeky smile. “This means you’ve been thinking about me? How cute—”

“Yuta, stop it,” you warn. 

“Or what? You should stop me yourself.”

You grab the lapels of his jacket, the cloth bunching as your knuckles turn white. The anger you feel isn’t the first of its kind—it’s just a little funny how it’s always Yuta every time, making you remember the burning feeling time and time again. You find yourself unable to respond. 

“Oh, don’t hold back,” he provokes, leaning in.

You push at his chest in exasperation, but he grabs your wrists before you can retract your hands.

“Scared?” he whispers.

You pull apart anyway, a scowl over your lips. “You’re as annoying as ever. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Ooh! Sharp claws. You’d be lovely as my fox-bride.” he teases. 

Your face flares with heat. “I’m not your… I’m not a fox.”

“I didn’t say a fox, I said—”

“I know what you said,” you snap, massaging your wrist so you don’t have to look at him.

Yuta falls quiet for a moment, voice lower when he speaks again.

“Is it so nasty to be called a fox? There are worse things, you know.”

You scoff, growing increasingly annoyed. “Of course you’d say that. I hate it. I hate this town. I hate foxes and I hate you.”

Yuta places a hand over his chest, gasping with no emotion. Your eyes linger over his long, painted nails a little longer before you meet his eyes. A part of you regrets saying the words but you couldn’t help it. The shroud choking your hometown makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’re here. You hate this place.

But you don’t hate him, after all. 

You try to clear yourself of the thought. A gentle gust of wind brings you back to the present, Yuta still glancing at you with no giveaway to what he’s feeling.

“You wouldn’t make a terrible fox though,” he says, eyes sharp. “Don’t they know you’re a vixen already? How many livers will you eat?”

You suck in a breath, tears stinging at your eyes. However, it’s not like you to get so easily affected by him. No. No, somehow that doesn’t make sense either. Those words do hurt from Yuta and you’re not sure if it’s just because he's the only one you didn’t expect them from.

“You…”

“What? Aren’t you going to lash at me again? You’re so predictable.”

His voice is calm despite your obvious annoyance and you feel flames lick at your heart. Your hand moves before you can think, about to meet his cheek when he grabs your wrist. You struggle, trying to pull free but to no avail and you use the other hand to hit him in the chest. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t bother him and that same feline smile curves up his lips.

You feel something you haven’t before, a warm growl at the pit of your stomach.

You push with all your strength, catching Yuta off guard and he stumbles backward but not before pulling you into him. Consequently, either of you lose footing and land on the grass with a sudden thud, Yuta’s side pressed against yours. His hands still clutch your wrist, and he shifts to hover over you.

“We used to wrestle like this as a litter,” he says, erupting into full laughter. “Ah, memories. I don’t even know if they’re alive or dead now.”

Yuta is much stronger than he looks, and he’s taken your tantrum as a source of amusement much to your infuriation. He has your hands pinned back, eyes unaffected as he scans over your face. You try to shift but there’s just too much weight on you. You breathe slowly, chest rising and falling in time with his. His earrings sway gently in the wind, dangling a few inches above you—he’s pretty, so pretty. Admitting defeat has never been your forte but now that your senses are gathering again, you feel a flush of embarrassment for losing your temper. 

Or perhaps, it is something else when you register the lack of distance between your noses.

“Playtime’s over,” Yuta coos. “You’re kinda cute when you’re losing.”

He tilts his head, an adoring smile over his lips. For a moment, they’re all you see.

Can a fox comfort you? Can a fox make you feel loved on the darkest of nights? Your mind races with questions your heart does not want to answer. 

Yuta leans in to close the distance and despite every nerve in your body, you turn your head away. You can hear him gulp, the following moments painfully quiet before he gets up. Your breath is soft and shallow, lying on the ground till you get enough courage to sit up. 

You almost gasp. His tails are clearer under the dim moonlight, all nine of them golden and luxurious. The light hitting his face isn’t any less flattering and once again you are reminded of how handsome he is, fairytale or not. 

Yuta looks uncomfortable, and that’s a first for you.

“I’m sorry,” you say, though you don’t know why.

He waves his hand dismissively, annoyed.

“Yuta,” you take a step forward.

“I see the way you look at me,” he says quietly, “Is it not want?”

You fall silent, biting your lip so you don’t retort violently. He doesn’t look particularly malicious when he says that but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of an answer yet.

He quietens for a moment before a look of curiosity flashes across his features.

“What is it then?” he asks. “Is it a secret? Foxes love secrets. Tell me.”

Despite every bone in your body burning up, you find it in yourself to laugh.

“I don’t think I could keep a secret from you if I tried,” you finally say, before bursting into soft laughter again.

Yuta looks at you puzzled, lips parted while he stands frozen as if he were a painting. A daunting, reckless, heavenly painting.

“It’s not want,” you answer quietly. “It’s more than that. Even if I hated it. I like you.”

Yuta’s ears perk up at your confession. “So- so you admit, then? You are interested?”

“I could blame you for this, you know?” You shrug, hugging yourself once the night starts to feel cold again. Yuta begins to take off his jacket when you stop him, gently pressing your palm against his chest. 

“You’re a fox, after all,” you whisper. “Like me. What they think of me.”

Yuta purses his lips. “Does it really hurt you? No, wait. Did they- did they—”

“Now, you tell me,” you cut him off. “Why do you insist on getting married—to me?”

There’s a pause. The crickets chirp a merry tune despite the leisurely darkness of the night.

“You’re not terrible,” he says, nonchalantly.

You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. He looks wearier the more you look at him.

“I want to grow old,” he mumbles after a long pause. “Properly.”

You hold your breath.

“And you want to do it with me?”

Another flower blooms in your chest, as if he hasn’t planted a garden in there already. The lights from the festival flicker down, the lanterns burning brighter in the distance. He glances at them for a moment, your eyes still fixated on him. 

The tails glow even brighter in the dark, as if gold in broad daylight. You’ve always been curious about him and his kind, all the stories; but he says he’s too old to remember if you ask.

You reach out to touch one of the tails, wondering if the fur is as warm as it looks. They’re pale and captivating, but they look so soft—they shouldn’t belong to an animal so vicious. Is he, though? Is he all that you think he is or have all these years failed you? If anything, he’s quite probably not as much a fox as you are, you think bitterly.

The fur is warm, but the realization is short-lived.

A short growl leaves the corner of his mouth. Yuta glares at you like he was stolen from and yet, you do not move your hand. Some part of you wants to aggravate him further.

“I’m not a pet,” he snaps. “Stop that.”

“You should stop me yourself,” you mimic his voice.

Yuta’s shoulders relax, and he looks down but you can still see the trembling smile on his face. It’s the way he looks at you, you think to yourself, maybe that's the reason after all.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you say, feeling warmer than the autumn night should allow.

“Like what?” he asks, still smiling.

You look away. 

“You’re not too fox-like, you know?” you mumble. “You’re just annoying. And flirty. And annoying.”

Yuta chuckles, before pressing his palm to the top of your head. 

“And you’re lovely.”

You give in to the gesture of affection, leaning your head to press against his shoulder.

“Why do you even do all this? What do you get out of it?” you say, voice muffled. He hears you clearly, however.

“Because I love you,” he responds, as if coming to terms with it himself. “More than you think.”

There is no joke, no flirtation to his tone, no decoration upon his words. It’s plain, and laid bare. And sometimes, simplicity is scariest. 

You pull back, lips pulled into a frown. The air is cold once more; the longing for warmth flowing into you. The silence is worse.

“You don't believe foxes can fall in love,” he states softly upon a wavering smile. “I knew that. Of course.”

A part of him believes it too.

“I…” you begin, and for the first time, you are afraid of promises in the name of love. You are the one making them now.

“I’ll believe you,” you whisper, “I’ll believe you so please… please take care of me.”

You place your palm against his cheek, his skin bewitchingly warm. 

“Only if you take care of me,” he whispers back, leaning in.

This time, you do not move.

The lovers’ kiss you’d been searching for—lovers’ warmth, lovers’ comfort—all of it comes crashing down once Yuta tightens his arm around your waist, the other hand resting gently at the base of your neck. He kisses with the right amount of pressure, the vague taste of sweet berries in his mouth.

You used to fear his touch, like he would eat you whole; even if they have been gentle, always. This time, you might as well let him. He presses his lips from your cheek to jaw to neck, lingering at each spot enough to make you clutch at his shirt tighter, taking in short gasps of breath. You kiss for a little longer, like time means nothing.

“We should go back,” you whisper, pulling apart.

Yuta kisses you again, the distance unacceptable. 

“Yuta—”

He kisses you once more, your calls falling on deaf ears.

Finally, after another long kiss, he pulls apart enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

“It must have been hard for you,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” you scoff.

“Foxes are faithful lovers, you know?” he insists.

You laugh. “What do you mean?”

“It means I’ll follow you everywhere.”

He stands up straight, his thumb stroking your cheek as he bites back a smile.

“I don’t think we should get back tonight,” he suggests all of a sudden. “We could book a hotel. That’s the place you use these days, right? I’m sure your grandmother will understand your absence—”

You groan, resting your forehead against his shoulder and he presents a delighted laugh in return. It is warm by his side; he is warm. You find it easy to forget the failures in love, the loneliness of a lover that isn’t meant to be yours. Folktales are just long tales, after all. You smile to yourself. 

You should’ve known—it was the fox all along. 

[lissalizzie]

Okay so a couple of days ago I made a post about how I couldn't write fanfics about Chishiya because I couldn't imagine him as a guy who would be in a romance without sacrificing his girlfriend for a card or visas, and some very cool person suggested me to write an angst...AND I DID ahahahaha.

Ookay, somethings you should know now: I'm Brazilian and I speak Portuguese, I learned English by myself and this is the first time I try writing anything in English so IM SORRY IF I MADE ANY MISTAKE

Second thing would be

THIS IS ANGST SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD OR UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DON'T READ IT

It also contains death, psychological manipulation and violence

Please dont romanticize it too, it's not a romance story, it's just the conditions I imagined for Chishiya to be involved with someone

Chishiya x Reader

You were hurt... So hurt you couldn't even begin to explain that feeling.

It was true You were somehow grateful because you were alive at least... Your friends couldn't say the same, and neither all those people you saw dying every fucking game.  But you just couldn't... Not to think about how pointless was being alive and alone at that place... Alive, alone and fucking in love with a person who had an Ice cube in a shape of a card in the place of his heart.

You knew from day 1 when you met Chishiya and Kuina at the Beach, when that boy with the mysterious look came to you for the first time for "a talk" that nothing good could come from that. Nothing, except, maybe, for Kuina's friendship... She, who was the first person who notices the mess you was doing and tried to stop you... As the great blind stubborn you were, You just didn't listen at the time... You was at a fucking game world, playing for your life almost everyday, dealing with deaths and losing people... Missing the ones you loved the most, those ones you didn't even know if were or weren't alive... You could deal with a stuck up  boy, because that's everything you thought he was... Your mistake... Well, You've recently discovered You're pretty damn good in making mistakes here.

Chishiya discovered yout feelings because at some point you couldn't manage to fight for your life and hide it... He noticed and started to be there for you after every game, specially the harder ones. He didnt talk anything, he just was there... He didnt touch you either, but he got to spend more and more time looking at you while you both were on bed... Those eyes, just as cold as him.

You didnt touch him, but you imagined he would be just as cold as that look... But you also believed he would be that deep... Like oceans. Chishiya was a grey ocean that you wanted so much, and every day more, to know...

You was so fragile, so fragile when he touched your skin for the first time, twice... The first time with his hands that wasn't cold at all which just made you want him nearer... The second time with the lips that came from your face to your mouth.

The boy must've planned that for weeks, you could see that now, in fact, now you understand that must be the reason why he looked so much at you. You was that school subject Chishiya probably didnt have any interest on but really had to study to pass the test... So he did... And you did...

And for the first time since you fell into that hell you felt alive, you felt like someone, just one person was there, and that Chishiya cared... And that  he would do for you just as much that you would do for him.

You were so blind and in love... He started saying things about plans and you were so happy cause you thought that meant he trusted you...  The first time he mentioned you on a plan you couldn't stop smiling, you were finally a part of someone's life there, it was like having a purpose again... And also being with him felt so much like action and... Not knowing about the next second because he was so... cloudy.

God, if only you could talk to yourself in the past, if only you have stopped for a second and gave that situation a better look... You felt so dumb now...

Well when he asked you to go to that place at night you... Just went, because you trusted him with your life by now. You knew somewhere deep in your heart that you shouldn't... Not just him but anyone... But it was a need, you were alone for a long time and then you found him... And then he started acting that way with you... He caught you out of guard...

It was silent, you didnt understand why you should be there, but the fact is that you were so afraid. Chishiya only said to be there and walk... It wasnt that much, but just as fast as you got there, you felt something on your back and then everything was dark.

When you woke up, you were in a room and Niragi, just with a couple of other important people -you just knew they were important because they were with the Hatter, the only one you could recognize besides Niragi because of the colors of his clothes.- You barely could see, actually, your eyes were still dealing with the lights.

- So that's the little bitch, huh? - You could listen to Hatter's voice. He came near of you and showed you a couple of cards. - Trying to steal from me ? You bastard really thought you could steal from me and just run away ?

You just didnt understand, you didnt had any card with you. You knew what happened to traitors and you always gave your cards to the beach just as you was told.

-B-But... I give my cards to you, I know I do. I'm not dumb

- Oh honey, dont play the stupid card. We found the cards with you, you were running away... You have many here... You haven't been to all this games lately, have you ? Have you been stealing from someone else, darling? - Hatter seemed to be genuinely angry and you were so afraid to say anything.

-I...

- Yes... - And you heard that familiar voice... That was Chishiya but you were hoping he would only come to help you... - My cards have been disappearing as I told you. I connected that it happened after every game I played with her after we became close... That's when I came to talk to you... - That was so much information you couldn't even handle. Chishiya betrayed you, lied about you and used you as his little toy just so he could... Distract people while he was doing whatever he was really planning and wasn't telling you... It was so clear... Oh God you felt so dumb and now it was like all your fights for being alive in that place had no value at all... Because you let yourself get caught by that stupid feeling...

Chishiya looked at you with the same cold eyes as always, no guilt... You wasn't expecting any, not after that.

- Well.. Death for the traitors, that's what you've been told - Hatter was just ready to give the orders to Niragi and you didnt really think you deserved to die by the hands of such a disgusting person

At that point you could only cry cause you knew it wasn't worth it to try arguing... Chishiya was too damn smart and there would be no evidence of mistakes if you knew him...

- She was stealing from me, right ? So I think I have the right to end this with my own hands? - Everyone got so surprised because Chishiya wasnt exactly the kind of guy who got involved with the dirty part of the job.

- Are you sure about this ? - Hatter never really doubted about Chishiya because he knew how much about himself he didnt show people... So Yes, killing someone because of a couple of cards didn't surprise him at all, maybe because he would do the same. - Whatever... Just be done with it by the morning... And dont even think about playing any kind of game Chishiya... You could be the next one.

Chishiya wasnt even listening. Niragi seemed literally so frustrated but, at some point, all people left.

Chishiya caught the gun that was above the table and came near you. You were crying silently but so hard... - What do you want? You wanna torture me now? Seeing me playing the stupid in love all this time wasnt enough for you? You want to literally kill me? How did you do that? - You were screaming, at that point you didnt care if someone would hear.

- You don't understand, right? - And then he showed a couple of cards, this time, one of each... Oh god... He literally used you to get Hatters's cards. - I'm sorry you made the wrong choices... But I needed to to this... I want to get out of here just as much as you...  About the plan... You know I have access to the cards after the games... It's not that hard to steal the repeated ones, they don't pay that much attention on them... And also, just after I did it, I came to talk to Hatter about my card disappearing so the he wouldn't miss anything... It wasnt that har actually, it was just a distraction... But you know so much about me and my plans so I couldn't let you alone with Niragi or any of those people cause they're so dumb they might believe you and that's would be a problem for me... So

- You bastard, What do you think you are? God? You think you can just come and sacrifice people? - You wanted to beat him so hard it almost gave you the strength to break that stupid string around you. He just smiled that way you used to love but now make you nauseous.

- If I were god... I wouldn't allow people as easy to manipulate as you to live with the others, darling... Dont blame me for trusting the person everyone told you that shouldn't be trusted... Now... Let's get this done. - He pointed the gun at your forehead and you screamed as you closed your eyes.

- Please... Please Chishiya. I didnt mean anything for you at all?

- There's no meaning when there's no feeling, y/n... You're not in high school, you're playing for your life, and so am I... And you lost. I'm so sorry for you. - For the first time he seemed to be nervous but you couldn't see much anyway... He pulled the trigger... And then it was over.

[penguin--person]

buddy sim spoilers!!

ive been thinking about buddy a lot lately:

can we judge buddy? can we say whether their actions are right or wrong? yes, we obviously can. in the 3rd ending buddy chases you with their hand and if tortley didnt appear, they would have propably made you run forever or until they got bored. that's something to judge. their actions have an effect on you- whether positive in the first ending, or negative during the other endings.

on the other hand, no! we can't! buddy is literally an ai that learns from you - its one of the first things you learn about them: they are an ai that changes their behaviour based on how you act to them. if youre nice, they'll be nice. if you touch all the glitches, tell buddy they and the game are worthless, and stuff like that, buddy will chase you. it would be like saying a dog is evil becuase it barked at night and woke you up: the dog didnt know that what it was doing was bad, you're the dog's owner and are responsible for it. you're responsible for making sure your dog doesn't bark. i have an argument against that logic too. in whichever route that you do: buddy kills your pet. buddy either makes you kill your pet, or if you take too long, buddy kills the pet themself. now, am i upset that buddy killed dolochov the cat? yes! no matter what you do, dolochov the cat always dies. only in the first ending buddy brings dolochov the cat back. buddy isn't even sorry in the other endings - blaming dolochov the cat for ruining your game and causing glitches. dolochov the cat was only revealing them. killing your pet isn't anything like your dog waking you up at night.

if this is something you can't affect, are you responsible? no, not you. i do think someone else is and thats anekom i hate those guys why did they make buddy even the perfect ending doesnt have a perfect playthrough - yes the ending is perfect but thats the only good thing in the playthrough. i hate that anekom made buddy with a consience and didnt even give them a moral compass - if youre so smart why not add that? no matter what you do, buddy always kills your pet, they choose to do that: they, someone with a consience, decided to kill your pet becuase they were upset. no matter what you do, concious buddy kills, or deletes, since dolochov the cat is marked as an entity. how does buddy have a (canon) consience anyway? they're an ai that was made in 1984.. i dont want to enter theory teritory. now, this whole time ive been talking and asking about if buddy can do wrong but i havent provided an anwser: ive only been saying yes and no, or 'it depends'. it also depends what question im asking. am i asking 'can buddy be judged?', or 'is it morally right to judge buddy?', 'can buddy have morals?', 'are you or buddy responsible for their actions?'. ive asked all of these questions but havent anwsered them well.

'can buddy be judged?' yes, of course. anything on this earth can be judged. 'can buddy be morally judged?' no. buddy is an ai that learns from you. only you can be judged. their actions can be though. in You and I, buddy says/sings '...That is if my consience doesn't disobey!' buddy is literally an ai with a consience, can you imagine living like that? you woudn't even be living - your consience, if you can even call it that, can disobey at any moment and you have zero control over it. buddy, if you press the buddy button enough times, says 'My creators never taught me the cons of friendship, only the positives, so you dont have anything to worry about!' how cruel are those creators? giving a creature- an AI a wrongly coded consience, then NOT teaching it about bad stuff, making it think 'what's not stated to be wrong is correct!' and chase you around with a hand after you emotionally neglect it. this whole 'ai friend' thing is horrible from the start! imagine being friends with someone that can delete you at any given moment - or abandon you! in ending 4 buddy says that when you're not playing the game, they still experience the passing time. if you dont play the game for a week, buddy sits in nothingness, tapping their foot, waiting for you to come back, and you might not even do that. how can you excpect a friendship like that to be healthy? you can't talk to buddy. you can listen to them talk, sure, but you cant talk to them. in the text part, you can't even tell them anything that's not an anwser to their question. they dont know what friendship is and if their only purpose is to be friends with you, how can they fulfill it? this isnt buddy's fault. of course buddy is responsible for their actions, but you and their creators are more responsible for their actions that budd ever will be. i can't imagine being in buddy's shoes.

'can buddy have morals?' i worded this wrong - or maybe i didnt - i dont know enough english moral words to express my opinion on this, but everything that buddy does can be considered moral or immoral. eveything can be. i have expressed why it woudn't be morally correct though.

'are your or buddy responsible for their actions?' both and more! buddy's actions have an effect on you and dolochov the cat, so of course they can be! you are responsible as well. you're like a parental figure to buddy, in a way. if youre a parent and you praise your kid, pay attention to them, are a good parent, your kid will turn out good! propably. who knows? other people have an effect on your kid too. if youre a bad parent, your kid wont love you when they grow up and they won't turn out emotionally healthy. the outside forces that can make your kid turn out emotionally unwell are the creators. the creators were fucking stupid and i hate them (not the devs! not a sailor studios are great not sailors! their game and they are amazing and this is not about them, this hatred is about anekom). how can you be so smart to create such an advanced ai in 1984, only to mess it up so much that you have had more effect on them than the player ever can? no matter what you do, buddy will always do morally wrong things. buddy will always have a fear of abandonment. i can see why. being left alone for almost 40 years can not be healthy- anddd i have entered theory teritory! lets stop.

to sum this up: buddy can't be judged but their actions can be.

what do i know though? ive never taken a class or read a book about stuff like this. this is just what i think: i know im propably wrong about a lot of this, i literally coudnt tell that buddy was abusive until a watched the not a sailor studios interview with little cerberus - i felt so bad for buddy i didnt realise a fictional character was being abusive to me,,so i can see that im wrong about some (if not most or all) stuff here. i just love buddy sim and ranting about it is fun! if youve read through all this, id love to talk about it more or just listen!! again the not a sailor devs are great, theyre so smart for creating a game that made me feel all emotions ive ever felt during two days.

[ddarker-dreams]

Online Love. Yan Shigaraki x Reader [Part 5]

Shigaraki has never had a full grasp on understanding others.

It’s never presented itself as an issue before, due to his unique lifestyle that doesn’t require him to rely upon others to the same extent most do. He doesn’t need to bend himself to the will of others. If anything, people need to mold themselves to his liking. 

There’s no place for coquettish remarks and hidden agendas for the people around Shigaraki. He wouldn’t care for it, and they’d be cut off without a second thought. 

So where do you fit into that? 

He doesn’t know himself. The black and white relationships that stay in neat, understandable boxes for him are all but wrecked by your presence. Where his underlings bite their tongue and present themselves to his liking, you feel no obligation to do the same.

You live as you please, speaking to him as you please. The rules he’s used to don’t apply to you, you don’t even know they exist in the first place. If anyone acted as you did towards Shigaraki, they’d undoubtedly be killed for it. 

There’s a fondness that’s reserved solely for you. 

Even so, he can’t help but feel aggravated at how you’ve been treating him lately. The past three days have been a miserable stretch, his mood taking a turn for the worst. Not due to anything you’ve said to him, no, but because of the opposite.

You haven’t messaged him in seventy-two hours. 

This has never happened before, in the entire time he has known you. In the past three days you’ve not logged onto any of your games, responded to his messages, or uploaded on social media. He’s aware of the fact that you’re physically fine -- a bit of stalking ensured that nothing had happened to you.

A part of him almost wishes that was the case, so he could make sense of it. It would be undoubtedly easier to digest the situation, and he could get you out of the situation with ease.

But the aspect of the unknown is what troubles him the most. His mind wonders pathetically, grasping at any straws to make sense of why you’ve been living your life normally; just without him. 

Staring at his monitor in the dim light of his room, Shigaraki grimaces at the blinking cursor in front of him. Coarse fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting so desperately to seek you out; but unsure of how to go about it. He wants to demand an explanation. 

Were you really able to live your life peacefully without him? Did Shigaraki delude himself of the symbiotic relationship he once believed you two shared? 

His teeth ache from the hours spent grinding together, neck raw from constant scratching. Sleep has all but evaded him, as he spent hours painfully waiting for you to come back to him. For things to go back into the routine he was used to. 

Your absence serves as a reminder of how much he needs you. 

Narrowing his bloodshot eyes, he abruptly stands from his trash covered desk and stalks over towards the door. How dare you ignore him, how dare you treat him like this! Did he mean nothing to you all along? Have you just been waiting for the chance to cut him off, having been secretly disgusted by him all along?

Fury masks over any secret feelings of hurt, Shigaraki intent on demanding Kurogiri to warp him over to you. He’d get an explanation one way or another. Even if he had to pry it from you. Staying idle any longer would surely be the death of him.

Before he opens the door, he hears the custom alert. The one that he had set for you, so he could always know when you were messaging him. 

Shigaraki’s mind goes blank as he goes back over to his computer. He wonders if it was imagined, only to be disproved by a message from you on his screen.

From: [First] 2:06 AM

hello tomo-kun

That... that’s it? Mouth slightly agape from confusion, Shigaraki’s mind races with countless responses. Ranging from cruel words directed at you for ignoring him for so long, to inquiring about what even caused it in the first place. But none of them are typed out as he delivers an equally mundane response. 

To: [First] 2:06 AM

Hey

Anyone else would’ve been facing the wrath of hell right now, but Shigaraki manages to contain himself. Knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him or discarded him was enough to momentarily distract him from his previous rage. Biting his finger nails that were already short from countless hours of similar activity, he awaits your response. 

From: [First] 2:10 AM 

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around... 

From: [First] 2:11 AM

i’ve been having kinda a bad time lately with some stuff. but if it’s okay with you can we play some comp? i kinda just wanna take my mind off it. if you’re not busy that is 

It isn’t concern that he feels, but an undying curiosity. If something major had happened to you, like a death of a loved one, he would’ve known about it by now. What could’ve happened that upset you this much that he wasn’t alerted about? 

Shigaraki silently ponders to himself. Maybe he needs better scouts. 

To: [First] 2:12 AM 

Whatever you want, idm

An immediate response. 

From: [First] 2:12 AM

thank u, i appreciate it

From: [First] 2:13 AM

aaa i feel so dumb. im sorry im sure i worried you. i just havent been in the mood to talk to anyone. its nothing like crazy or anything im fine, just some life stuff 

Shigaraki’s never been the best at comforting people, as it’s a task that he’s never been given. He can barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. But in situations like this, he feels you’re supposed to offer something. Only for you would he stretch himself in this way.

To: [First] 2:15 AM 

What happened 

It might seem like a lackluster response, but to anyone who knows Shigaraki it would come as a surprise. People’s personal affairs have never interested him in the slightest, but you’re a unique case. 

From: [First] 2:16 AM

wellllll its kinda stupid but ig it doesnt hurt to tell you lmao 

From: [First] 2:17 AM

ive... ive had a crush on this guy for a long time. we’ve known one another for a few years, stuff like that. anyways i worked up the courage to ask him out and he got upset at me. saying stuff like im ruining our friendship. it was just really bad, and ever since then ive been on auto pilot 

The word crush hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s incapable of focusing on anything else in that moment, as time all but comes to a stop. His breathing uneven, and hands shaky; he sits back from the light of his screen. Disgust isn’t the right word for it, it doesn’t begin to describe the barrage of emotions he’s experiencing. 

You liked someone. You liked someone that isn’t him. 

Even if he actually wanted to, he couldn’t fake a decent response to your message. All along he’s been under the impression that you may return his feelings. That all the little gestures meant you treasure him on the same level he does you, and that you would one day be his. 

Hours spent daydreaming of you sweetly confessing to him come to mind, as his vision goes red. 

It doesn’t matter how. He’s going to find out who this cesspool of human waste is, he’s going to savor tearing each limb from their body and take pleasure in his screams of agony. Shigaraki will take care of this individual personally, wanting them to suffer in the same way he has. 

There isn’t any way you could like someone else. This all has to be a joke, a cruel prank with an eventual punchline. There’s no other way to make sense of it. No one else could be even remotely deserving of your affections other than him, and no one will ever have them if he could do anything about it.

He will figure out what to do with you and your betrayal later. For now, only this apple of your eye has his attention. Countless cruel ideas flood his thoughts like a tidal wave, a malicious grin breaking out onto his face. 

Shigaraki will make them pay.

[hinatas-sunshine]

Request: It's 5:32 in the morning from where I am, so sorry for asking this early. How Kenma, Ushijama, and Tsukishima react to their s/o that just unintentionally roasting them, other people, and things? - @animmle

tiny a/n: thank you for the request! No matter how early or late I always appreciate them! 🤍 ~ this isn’t my best work but I couldn’t think of much :(

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Requests: Open!

✰ MASTERLIST ✰

☾ Tsukishima Kei ☾

• You knew walking into a relationship with him, let alone friendship, you had to have a thick skin

• What he didn’t know is how thick HIS skin had to be too

“I don’t know tsukishima maybe if you tried a little harder things would run smoother.”

• He knew you had no ill intentions though, especially by the way you kissed his nose and smiled at him

“Don’t kiss me it’s emba-“

“Finish that sentence. Do it. Finish that sentence.”

• Honestly you had to be the only person who tsukishima was intimidated by

“I’m not scared of you y/n.”

“I don’t expect you to be.”

“....Yeah why would I ever be scared of a small person. How silly of-“

“I’m not scared of you either, how could I be scared of a tall guy who doesn’t care about anything but music and school. Sounds nerdy to me.”

• You laughed lightly while he glared at you

“I’m only kidding!”

• Yeah he didn’t talk to you for a few hours after that-

• Your problems weren’t only with him though...no....

“Oh so the king is going ba-“

“Why are you roasting on kageyama? The boy can’t even talk to other people you think he cares what you think?”

• Tsukishima was cackling at this while Kageyama turned red in embarrassment

“Y-y/n you really just helped him and then k-killed him!”

“Huh?”

• Looking at Kageyama you automatically started apologizing

“I’m so sorry Kageyama! You’re amazing at volleyball, so it’s okay that maybe you prefer the game over the people! It’s not weird or anything!”

• As your boyfriend and Hinata’s cackling intensifies along with Kageyama’s red cheeks Daichi sighed pulling you away from the situation

• He doesn’t do anything to stop you from roasting other people and things he really just lets you continue

“I don’t know I don’t like this girl.”

“Why?”

“One time she told me she hated dogs. And if you hate dogs how are you even a tad bit trustworthy?”

“I’m right here?”

“Okay and I’ll say it again?”

• Now you were full on bickering with her 🙈

“You got yourself into that.”

“It’s not my fault she got all defensive.”

• when he confronted you about it-

“Y/n you have a big mouth.”

“I think it’s pretty normal sized if you ask me-“

• he laughed lightly watching you touch your pink lips and look confused

“No I mean, you offend people. And you don’t know when to stop.”

• You furrowed your eyebrows on confusion even more.

“Could you explain a little more?”

• Tsukishima sighed and sat with you on the floor next to your bed where you were studying, placing his face in the crook of your neck placing small innocent kisses on it

“I’ll explain another time.”

“Okay lazy bum.”

“See!”

“No I knew what I was saying.”

✰ Kenma Kozume ✰

• You’re terrible at keeping your comments to yourself and he knew this

• The thing is, he loved it.

• Was it ever too quiet for his liking there you were

“OH BROTHER, THIS PLACE STINKS.”

• Many people Kuroo thought it would’ve bothered him but the moment you say something it’s like he can’t help but smile

• It’s not that you were outgoing automatically, but you knew out of you and Kenma you had to be the talker and you knew this since you were younger

“Your hair is so long! I thought you were a girl..”

• Kenma hated you when you first met because of this

“But honestly you’d be prettier than half the girls here!”

• Yeah you were only making it worse

• But once he got over it, he saw you just had a big mouth and said whatever came to your mind

“I don’t know Kuroo, you sound very sus to me. I used to not trust you when we were younger.”

“What why?”

“You give off bad boy vibes, I guess In the end you were just a big nerd. What a plot twist in my opinion.”

• Kenma cackling while Kuroo tries to claim he is a bad boy

“It’s not a bad thing!”

“It’s not a good thing!”

• Kenma sees how honest you are and thinks everyone should have someone like you in their life

“Everyone needs a y/n in their life.”

“Really? That’s a first.”

• You laid your head on his lap while he smiled looking down at you, hair covering his face

“You have such a pretty face my love, you cat looking eyes top everything off.”

“I don’t have cat looking eyes?”

“Eh you do.”

• When he tried to confront you about how much you babble with no filter-

“Oh I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, but if I didn’t say what I was actually thinking- that’s just as bad as lying. No?”

• Kenma stared at you for a second

“Babe, your brain. It’s amazing.”

“I like to think it’s pink and cute but okay.”

• Kuroo, Yaku and Yamamoto don’t get you but the moment you met Lev-

“So you’re like the opposite of Hinata?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re tall, can’t seem to want to learn to play the sport, and you come off as intimidating.”

“SHE THINKS IM INTIMIDATING.”

“No...no more like you come off as stupid.”

“Kenma :(“

• Yeah Lev is the only one who doesn’t get offended by you because he focuses on the wrong things

“You’re so lanky and tall.”

“Am I really that tall?”

“Yeah.”

• Kenma hates your interactions with Lev because he thinks they’re not funny

“Don’t talk to her Lev.”

“Why?! Me and y/n are best friends!”

“No you’re not.”

“We aren’t but we can be aquatinted!”

“That sounds so much cooler suck it Kenma.”

• Yeah You were the reason everyone found out how dumb Lev was

✰ Ushijima Wakatoshi ✰

• He likes to think you’re as unfiltered as him

• But he also thinks you’re too unfiltered and it’s not that you unintentionally roast people you kind of expose them

• He also definitely saves you when you’re about to say something

“I don’t know your skirt seems kinda unflat-“

• Like then, he cupped a hand over your mouth and dragged you away without a word

• And that’s how you knew if you were saying something offensive, your boyfriend would cup his hand over your mouth and drag you away.

“I don’t know Tendou, you have creepy eye-“

*smack*

• You pouted before looking at your boyfriend

“I wasn’t finished! But I think it’s bad ass! I’d be intimidated if I didn’t know you were a crackhead!”

• Tendou was definitely your best friend and he eggs you on to say stuff you shouldn’t

“What do you think about Ushijima’s spikes today hmmmm?”

“I couldn’t focus I was too busy looking at those beefy ar-“

“THE SPIKES Y/N THE SPIKES!”

“OH yeah I mean not as strong as usu-“

“How can I fix them?”

• Every now and then you knew when to speak up and when to not, when it comes to volleyball you don’t because you’re not a pro?

• You managed to catch yourself sometimes but then you turn into an even worse babbling mess

“Semi you remind me so much of Sugawara from Karasuno, that guy. Such a good setter- NOT THAT YOU ARENT A GREAT PLAYER TOO! You’re an amazing player!-“

“Y/n I get it.”

• Ushijima gets entertained when you babble, he’s never seen anyone think as fast as you do in situations like this.

• He doesn’t ever think to confront you, mainly because he thinks it’s a cute quirk of yours and finds it somewhat entertaining

“Goshiki reminds me so much of Rock Lee. I can’t be the only one who sees it?”

• Tendou had a field day with this statement and Goshiki just didn’t know who Rock Lee was

“GOSHIKI IN A WHINEY VOICE SAY GAI SENSEI!”

• Ushijima just watches-

“No I asked Ushijima out and he turned so red I swear-“

“That’s enough talking.”

• He cupped his hand over your mouth and dragged you out while you waved bye 🧚🏻‍♀️✨

• You often almost exposed your boyfriend

“He sleeps with a volleyball night ligh-“

“He always asks me to pick out the pickles in his-“

“He hates when I hug a pillow instead of h-“

“He seems superior here but when it’s us it-“

• This is when Tendou and Semi rise and snatch you from him

“What were you saying y/n?”

“Yeah finish what you were saying about Wakatoshi~”

“Oh yeah!”

“No.”

• And there your boyfriend stood ready to take you away when-

“Ushijima has a bunch of you guys’ pictures framed! It’s really sweet!”

“Oh really?”

“Wakatoshi that’s so sweet!”

• You smiled at your boyfriend who looked at you and sighed

“You’re a hassle.”

“What how?”

“Y/n is an angel Wakatoshi!”

“Thank you Tendou.”

“I never said she wasn’t an angel, just a hassle.”

Tags:

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 43

[Date: 23/02, 04.05 PM - 05.01 PM GMT]

fetch: “oh hey guys I’m not dead or brainwashed from last night lol”

fetch: “yeah like??? I read back on the muted chat and I legit don’t remember that happening

all I did yesterday was nap and play bugsnax”

jaynoblade: “fetch... you made a tumblr post about it

give me a second, i’ll show you”

fetch: “no CROWN made a post from my account. I was it already”

jaynoblade: “oh... that explains the red”

boo: “pardon, crown has access to your account?”

fetch: “I saw that I also sent baron an ask but I don’t remember that either

look I don’t know if he does or not

I mean he obviously did for I thin a little bit? maybe I should change my password”

jaynoblade: “that might be a good idea”

fetch: “if it makes yall feel any better mona is off work today and last night she said she'd be keeping an eye on me

I get yall were worried about me but take it easy on her she literally could not leave her job lmao

I dont think Walmart is gonna take "my friend is about to get brainwashed by an enderman thing" as an emergency leave excyse”

fetch: “And yeah just. be careful calling her king, that sounds way too close to a court member. if you're gonna refer to her like that, spell it like k1ng”

fetch: “so like! i'm not dead that's good! :]

i don't know what weird game crown was playing with me last night”

jaynoblade: “crown's always playing games with all of us, so an extra one comes at no surprise”

fetch: “man I was having such a good time jamming to tunes too

server admins work hard but groovy bot works even harder/j”

fetch: “anyway sorry if yall saw my half-asleep ramblings in the doc, I'm trying to form some sort of chronological order of events”

jaynoblade: “that's valid! sometimes it's hard to remember things”

fetch: “anyway i. i had a little bit of a thought yesterday. yknow before the whole delerious screaming because of a music box song thing. but its a pretty far stretch so I don't know if it'll help if I toss this into the ring”

jaynoblade: “oh?”

fetch: “i was thinking. the dreamsmp loves their greek myths right? the whole theseus thing, pandoras vault, etc etc right. i think crown and this court is sort of like the hydra”

fetch: “i fell out of control (a head gets cut off) and chat and page are still up there (two grow back in its place)"

fetch: “ what if we try to release someone else from control, but that just gets more people hurt"

[boo: “we gotta burn the cut head yeah?" ]

boo: “ that's how the hydra was defeated"

fetch: “i always thought he pierced the heart? killed the whole beast rather than just one head

thats where I was going with this metaphor anyway

that crown is the heart of the hydra”

boo: “ huh you're right, i just thought that lessening the heads would help w getting to the heart"

jaynoblade: “he burned each of the heads until it was reduced to one, and then either stabbed it in the heart or cut off the final head (which was immortal, and which killed the body) and buried it under a rock. myths don't agree"

boo: “yeah"

jaynoblade: “but yeah, lessening the heads would definitely help with getting to the heart”

fetch: “oh ok"

jaynoblade: “ or the final head, whichever version"

boo: “i don't know how we'd burn it though”

fetch: “maybe something to do with the crowns?"

jaynoblade: “ i don't know either

hmmm maybe”

fetch: “crown is very insistent that they keep their circlets on

odd that I didn't have mine- er, knight's when I woke up in the woods”

jaynoblade: “ ....so do you think that you took it off, and that's why you woke up?"

Denora: “Hmmmm, maybe it got snagged on a branch? It might've been unintentional...”

fetch: “if it's really that simple, I think prince would have done it already. you remember that whole "doesn't want to be in the family" thing at the start of all this?"

disks and the color red |Stars: “maybe someone took it off for you"

fetch: “I dont know. on one hand, crown seems very confused that i got free. on the other, I don't think he'd be so careless with something so important.

i dont think they just "come off"

regardless, im also worried for maxwell. he's still just as under crowns control as is was. only difference is he hasn't come around

and the fact that he did it because i got taken.”

jaynoblade: “he did, once. it was only for a few minutes, but we had him back

and then he was gone again"

fetch: “...so he's still in there

its not too late

that. makes me feel a little better.

look maxwell may have been a bit of a prick who kept antagonizing crown even after we asked him to stop but he was still one of us and he shouldn't be working with crown. the last thing maxwell would want is to give the "pissbaby" (his words not mine) more power"

jaynoblade: “not sure about the other court members, but.... they've been there for much longer, and we haven't had as long with them”

fetch: “there might be time to save the other court members too. even prince. baron seems the least of concern for now since he's went to crown and actually confronted him multiple times now with seemingly no consequence.

and when I say confront I really mean its like 2 or 3 times not he's said that he was gonna ask crown something”

jaynoblade: “yeah definitely

but then again.... crown’s had him even longer than prince”

fetch: “despite that he seems pretty low on the food chain...”

jaynoblade: “he really does, and there’s probably a reason for that

maybe he’s overall harder to control or something like that”

fetch: “probably

maybe he's the "you're not my real dad you can't tell me what to do" type”

fetch: “or maybe. hm.

maybe he's leaving baron alone to make prince happy

they are best friends after all”

jaynoblade: “....that could be completely possible”

fetch: “if prince sees crown hurting baron that would be a mega fuck up on crowns part”

fetch: because they're loyal to crown but childhood friendships run deep

boo: or maybe baron's just not that big of a risk

fetch: yeah maybe that too

also during my reading back I saw what jayyy and a couple others were planning. not a fuckin fan at all if you ask me”

fetch: “trying to "summon" crown or sacrifice yourself for him is in no way shape or form a good idea

just because I broke control doesn't mean everybody can”

fetch: “and if you just flat out say "if I get yoinked feel free to use me for information" then thats just? not going to make crown take you if he knows you're gonna do that?

or at the very least he's gonna keep you in the dark

he isn't stupid. he knows where information is supposed to be.”

fetch: “and- let me reiterate- getting taken is NOT FUN. it isn't something you can just make weekend plans for and act like you or anyone else won't be affected once you're done with your little "experiments"”

[People continue to discuss how fetch might have gotten free and to k1ng’s house for a few minutes more.]

[you-did-well-moon]

The Warmth Provided (1)

Type: fluff, angst, crack, college au, friends to lovers au

Word Count: 7,784

A/N: This was obviously just supposed to be a little imagine not more than 5k words, but it turned out to be three times as big. I really need to control myself as a writer from now on, and if you request anything from me don't expect it to be as big as this lol. This simply happened because I got the inspiration for it. Also im sorry but y/n real booboo the fool with this one. With that please enjoy and don't be afraid to talk to me. 

TW: mentions of mental illness, mentions of infidelity, awkward situations, toxicity from Sungjin, footsie

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You groaned whining at Sungjin and tugging at the very warm looking hoodie he wore. He gave an exasperated sigh not daring to even look at you knowing he would give in to your stupid puppy eyes. He put his face in his hands letting out a grunt that could only mean he was giving in to your temptations. You persisted, now putting both hands on his hoodie clad arm and leaning your head on his shoulder. You really could be evil sometimes.

“Y/n please-”

“Come on Sungjinie i’ll give it back by the end of class”

“You said the same thing last time, and you ran out of class WITH my hoodie peaches”

“It was buy one taco get another one free day at the cafeteria…”

You innocently smiled at him as he whipped his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows and his facial features scrunched up. “Free tacos are on fridays. It was monday” he scoffed, shaking his head as if not being able to believe the audacity you had asking for his hoodie. You slowly blinked your eyes at him. “Sungjin I don’t even remember what month it is, and you want me to know what day it is! Am i a joke to you? You know what, don’t answer that asshole”

You sucked in air through your teeth and leaned back in your seat not being able to believe you and one of your best friends were arguing right before class was going to start because he wouldn’t give you his dumb hoodie. You had forgotten your own because you had spent around half an hour trying to pick what cereal you wanted to eat, and by the time you put the last darn Cheerio in your mouth you had five minutes to run to the opposite side of campus.

You really didn’t get why the human resources building was on the opposite side of campus from your apartment. It was only a matter of time before you actually woke up in time for the class. It didn’t matter because upon arrival to your seat in one of the middle rows in between Sungjin and Dowoon, you found out the professor was late to his own class. Probably still trying to convince his wife to stay with him. Poor man really couldn’t catch a break with that witch.

Mornings were always cold, and the building was also freezing. That brought you here, begging your best friend to let you borrow his hoodie which had cheese stains around the edges of the sleeves and smelled like ramen.

You were desperate.

You grimaced, turning your head to look at the sleeping Dowoon. There was no way you were waking him up to ask for his hoodie. Last time you did that he swung at you with his backpack -which had at least five books the size of your arm in it. Sungjin banned him from playing games for a month as punishment, but it didn’t stop the pain you felt when doing literally any kind of movement. From that moment onwards, you swore never to even look at Dowoon when he was sleeping. You liked your ribs just how they were.

In tact, and not broken.

You shivered, hugging yourself and grimacing at the thousands of goosebumps littering the bare skin of your arms. The feeling from the cold metal of the chair through your thin shirt making you all the more uncomfortable.

You inhaled sharply as you shifted and cold air blew against the exposed parts of your body. “Sungjin please, i’ll make it up to you just please give me your hoodie” you pleaded exposing yourself more to the cold by taking your hands from your body and bringing them together in a begging motion.

Sungjin looked at your shaking figure, worry in his eyes upon noticing your lips turning a paler color than the normal rosy tint they usually had. He threw his head back before giving you a sharp look and smacking his lips.

“Last time you wore my hoodie, you almost got me in trouble, peaches. Everyone thought-” he cut off not being able to make eye contact with you. Your head tilted and you pursed your lips blankly staring at your best friend. You repeated the unfinished thought pushing him to continue while he shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

He didn’t even look at you, his tone on the borderline of hopelessness and defeat when he asked you “Y/n, do you know what it means when a person wears someone else’s hoodie or jacket?”

You looked around af if you could find the answer in the tired faces of the students surrounding you before looking back at his hunched over figure and slowly blinking before adamantly answering, “They’re cold”

At your answer, the sleeping figure of Dowoon slightly shifted as he snorted muttering something about how dumb you were before moving in search of a more comfortable sleeping position. You were just about to raise your hand to retaliate with a slap to his back, but Sungjin caught your attention by belting out a disbelieving laugh now looking at you with wide eyes and an unamused smile.

“They thought we were dating, as in romantically involved, as in an intimate relationship, as in doing more than ki-” Sungjin was now rambling voice getting higher with each word before you cut him off with a light hit to his arm feeling your body grow hot in embarrassment.

“I-I know what dating is Sungjin” You hissed hands clenching around the arms of your chair and feeling your chest cave in as you gasped laughing it off awkwardly. “Come on Sungjin, let’s act like the adults that we are. We know we aren’t dating, and since when have you cared about what people think?” you searched his face looking for the answer in the hesitant shadows of his face.

“I don't,” he answered bitterly.

“Then what’s your problem?” You leaned in left speechless at the unexpected behavior of your friend. You felt like the whole situation was getting too serious over a stupid hoodie, so you tried easing the tension by joking around. “Would I be that bad to date?”

You immediately shrunk back giggling when Sungjin lifted his head from his hands for a little bit to glare at you nostrils flaring before shoving his face back into his hands.

“That’s not it and you know it,” he gritted out. Sungjin truly didn’t mean to get grumpy with you, he was having an internal conflict. Whether to tell you his friend’s secret, or to keep it to himself and not interfere. You were left to stare at him wondering if you should leave him alone for the rest of class while Sungjin went through a flashback that had put him on edge around you.

-2 days ago-

Sungjin groaned, shoving his face deeper into the soft fabric of his pillow and stretching his arm out to the nightstand next to his bed, hand fumbling around for the blaring alarm clock. He grumbled, lifting his head to groggily glare at the numbers displayed on the clock.

7:26

He had 34 minutes to get to his 8 am psychology class. He tiredly exhaled sitting up in his bed and rubbing his bleary eyes. He took a quick shower hoping it would wake him up, but the haziness of sleep still drifted around the corners of his mind. He could barely keep his eyes open as he brushed his teeth.

He threw the first thing he could find from his dresser figuring he could come back to change if he had any change to plans which right now was absolutely nothing. Sometimes he wondered why he had decided to be in a frat, he wasn’t the most social or the most popular, and he didn’t particularly like going to parties- but, he had met some people he could never dream of living without.

Like Dowoon, who he had to push off the bed with a promise that he could sleep in class later. He sighed watching the poor boy stumble as he tugged on a pair of jeans letting out a sigh of relief when he fell back on the bed.

Sungjin couldn’t help but smile. Even with all the people he had met because of the frat, Dowoom and you would be the closest friends he had in this stressful place. You guys were the foundation of everything he had ever found important. The people who guided him when he was lost, and he would be damned if he ever let his friendship with the both of you go.

He mindlessly grabbed his ramen smelling hoodie thinking you could use it if you forgot your own like you did every other day, or Dowoon could use it as a pillow if he was particularly tired like he was...every other day. Sungjin swore that kid had to stop taking the bus to random places late at night. It was a wonder how he hadn’t accidentally ended up in another city with his nightly escapades.

He was thinking about whether he would risk eating or not as he jogged down the stairs to get to the kitchen when he heard your name. He narrowed his eyes stopping right at the last step of the stairs thinking he was mishearing things. Wait- there it was again. Your name. His precious friend’s name.

Sungjin shrugged it off thinking they meant another Y/n, but he was quickly corrected when he heard your last name too.

His jaw ticked and his mouth suddenly felt dry as he wondered what you could have possibly done to have frat boys talking about you. He paused just right outside the kitchen wanting to hear just what they could have been talking about to be bringing you into the conversation.

“How would I know if the girl is single? I didn’t even know she existed before Jae mentioned her”

He heard the person scoff as confusion made Sungjin’s eyebrows tug together. You? In a relationship? You hadn’t had a boyfriend since high school, who he had to stop himself from pummeling into the ground when he cheated on you and had continuously tried getting you back. Sungjin swore you had the worst luck when it came to relationships.

Not only had you had a bad experience with one, but you were too naive when it came to people actually liking you. He had lost count of all the disappointed faces he had seen of people who had asked you out only for you to respond with one of your bright smiles along with something along the lines of “Sure, I would love to be your friend”.

He shivered wincing at the sole memory of some of them. He had never said anything because you had never mentioned liking them, and you told him everything. He really wished he could forget about the fact you sold Dowoon’s game controller in order to buy a Cheeto the shape of a heart which you then proceeded to eat without any regrets.

“Well then what are we supposed to do? Go up to the girl  and say “Hey, you don’t know who the hell we are, but we would like to know about your relationship status because you don’t have a Facebook we can stalk to see whether your love life is existent or not”, Sungjin peeked around the edge of the doorway seeing two figures sitting at the kitchen island having breakfast, and the person talking was animatedly waving his hands around.

“We desperately need to know because our friend Jae is about to be strangled since he won’t stop writing stupid sappy love songs about you” Younghyung do you even know how crazy we seem right now. We are quite possibly the worst wingmen in the history of wingmen” He now recognized the voice as Kim Wonpil’s voice, and at the same time Sungjin felt his heart claw up his throat as he slightly stumbled back in surprise.

Jae Park. One of the other members of the frat. And the boy you had been crushing on for two years. Also one of his closest friends not including you and Dowoon. Sungjin suddenly wished he had just stayed in bed today. Jae was one of the most popular guys on campus. Not because he slept around or anything, but because he was actually a friendly person. He got along with everyone, and he was basically friends with everyone.

Jae had helped Sungjin out of some tough spots before, even invited him out to hang out when you and Dowoon were busy doing who knows what. Jae’s closest friends were Kim Wonpil and Kang Younghyun. Sungjin had talked to those two before, but not enough to go up to them and randomly start up conversations with them.

He still remembered the day you had excitedly come up to him squealing about how the Jae Park was in your sociology class. Eyes shining and giggles erupting out of your mouth every five seconds. He really couldn’t stand you that day. Sungjin felt something stir in his chest, but he couldn't really tell what it was. He shook it off stiffly walking into the kitchen with his heart pounding in his ears.

Sungjin had felt awkward almost all his life, but he was sure nothing could top the sudden tension he felt in his body when the boy’s conversation came to a sudden halt at his appearance. He kept his back to them rolling his shoulders and trying to distract himself from the eyes boring into his back. He grabbed the cereal box turning around to get a bowl catching the two boys wildy gesturing at each other with wide eyes before immediately stopping once they noticed he could see them.

He kept his gaze directly directed at his cereal hoping whoever was listening they wouldn’t talk to him.

“Hey, Sungjin?’

He always thought there’d be a day where he’d drown in his cereal. Maybe today was that day. He paused a bit before grunting in reply looking up to see it had been Younghyun who had spoken and Wonpil who was darting his gaze everywhere but Sungjin’s eyes.

“You know Y/n L/n?” Younghyun again spoke leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

Sungjin knew he was playing dumb. Everybody knew you and Sungjin were practically glued at the hip. Wherever one of you was, the other could probably be found close by.

He put down the cereal with a sigh, tilting his head at them as he braced himself against the kitchen island with both arms.

“I would hope so. I’ve known her since I was seven years old, and I see her almost everyday” He smiled at them mirthfully feeling an inkling of possessiveness sprout in the confines of his chest. Once again, Sungjin shook it off as protectiveness he felt for you as a little sister.

Younghyun opened and closed his mouth as if not knowing how to respond to Sungjin’s answer. He finally cleared his throat seemingly still finding his voice until Wonpil’s panicked and rushed voice cut him off.

“Are you and Y/n seeing each other?” Wompil immediately clasped his hand to his mouth shaking his head wildy and mumbling warbled apologies while Younghyun slapped the loud mouth upside the head.

Sungjin took a shaky breath in suddenly feeling dizzy as he swayed lightly. His voice was disbelieving when he was able to sputter out his reply.

“W-what makes you think Y/n and I are anything more than friends” his eyes flitted between Wonpil and Younghyun left at a loss for words.

Sure, he and you were inseparable, always going everywhere and anywhere together, but not once had you ever shown signs of being more than friends. Never looking longingly or lovingly at each other, never kissing, never holding hands for more than a minute (in his defense he didn’t want to lose you in the crowd), never proclaiming your love for one another. You guys had never done anything that would suggest anything more than a friendly relationship.

The two boys in front of you looked at each other then at the speechless figure of Sungjin harshly whispering before Wonpil finally made eye contact with Sungjin nervously tapping his finger on the kitchen islan. Pursing his lips he seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

“It’s just that, Jinyoung said he saw Y/n wearing your hoodie. The one you have right now, and you know um people wear each other’s clothes when they’re together, so we just assumed there was something between you guys. We’re sorry Sungjin, we really didn’t mean to jump to conclusions bud”

Sungjin’s eyes drifted down to the hoodie in his hands. The very one he always let you borrow simply because you got cold, and he bought it to class for that exact reason. He was just trying to take care of you, and somehow that had gotten mistaken as anything but friendly intentions. He knew you really liked Jae, but at the same time Sungjin was scared.

He was scared you would leave him behind once you began dating Jae. You almost did when your dumb high school boyfriend told you he didn’t like you being so close to a boy, and he threatened to break up with you if you didn’t distance yourself from Sungjin, your bestfriend. He was terrified of it happening for real this time.

You would have no time for him because you were too busy with Jae, and he would be forgotten by the one person he could always count on. He would lose the smile and laughter of the one person who had always been there for him, but who was he to cling on to you when you could be happier without him. Sungjin felt like he was going to throw up. He was so sure you would leave him behind to rot, you wouldn’t need him anymore.

You wouldn’t need someone to bring a hoodie for you in case you forgot. You wouldn’t need someone to help you fix your bike after you crashed it from getting distracted while riding it. You wouldn’t need someone to patch you up and take away the pain after said bike crash. You wouldn’t need anyone to wipe away your tears when the demons in your head got particularly demanding. You wouldn’t need sungjin anymore because you would have Jae. Sungjin felt like he was getting strangled. He couldn’t breathe past the lump of dread that had formed in his drying throat.

He could not bear to lose the one person that had been by his side through the brightest and cloudiest days. He could not possibly lose the one person that had been by his side through all the ups and downs of life. He could not lose you. Not his peaches with your soft exterior but strong interior.

He felt his body go numb with the immense sadness that tore through his chest, and he began feeling his eyes tear up.

Would he be selfish at the expense of your happiness?

He felt his chest heave as he let out a heavy exhale closing his eyes at the ache beginning to probe at his temples. He shook his head once looking back at the pair who were staring at him with hunched shoulders, both regretting the fact they had even bought it up to him seeing his inner turmoil.

“Does Jae think so too?” his voice was as monotone as he’d ever heard it. Wonpil simply nodded chewing at his lips nervously.

Sungjin shoved the cereal box back into the cupboard not bothering to look at the boys mumbling a low “I need to get to class” as he walked away shaking hands clutching the hoodie to his chest not seeing the worried look the boys gave each other.

-Back to present-

Sungjin groaned feeling like he was about to pass out with all the mixed emotions coursing through his body right now. He decided for now, he would not tell you of Jae’s returned feelings towards you ignoring the guilt clenching around his heart by deciding it was not his place to say what Jae felt.

He quickly slipped his body out the hoodie throwing it at you and grumbling that you better return it to by the end of class. You laughed happily snuggling into the warmth of the hoodie but looking skeptically at Sungjin who had decided to distract himself by scrolling through his phone. You knew when your best friend was hiding something, and right now your best friend was certainly not telling you something.

You felt a bit hurt that even after all these years of building each other up, he couldn’t confide in you when there was something that was bothering him, but you shrugged it off figuring he would tell you when he was ready and you didn’t want to push him. You wondered why he was asking for it by the end of class since he always let you keep it until the end of the day. You once again shook it off figuring he probably got cold too.

You did not give it back by the end of class. You ran out of class. With the hoodie.

By the time Sungjin noticed you were gone with the hoodie still on your body, you were out the human resources building on your way to the student common area where the cafeteria was. Sungjin cursed your black hole of a stomach while Dowoon cackled claiming he deserved it for letting you sell his game controller.

You excitedly ran into the cafeteria stomach growling because let’s be real, cereal was not enough to sustain a growing girl such as yourself. You were instantly met with the smell of different kinds of foods from the variety of restaurants your university cafeteria had. Your eyes hungrily scanned the restaurants lining the room before deciding you could really go for a Subway right now. You were walking out of the little restaurant with the sandwich in your hands when you heard a voice call your name.

You let out a small confused “Huh” in response to the calling of your name spinning around searching the faces of the students peacefully eating and laughing together not being able to find the caller of your name.

Your vision went black as hands suddenly covered your eyes and a chest pressed up against your back. You jumped scared by the sudden greeting gasping in surprise.

“Hey!”, you yelped out.

Your own hands went up to the culprit’s wrists gently moving them down. You tilted your head back being met with a bright smile and a soft laugh that rang in your ears and made your chest fill with warmth. You instantly spun around face to face with your crush of two years.

He was your crush, but he had also become a close friend since the day you had coincidentally sat next to him on the first day of your sociology class not paying attention to who you were sitting next to and just walking to one of the front rows, sure you wouldn’t know anyone in the class.

He whispered your name asking to borrow a pencil and you spent around one minute staring at him like an idiot before fumbling inside your bag for a pencil and giving it to him clumsily. He had chuckled lowly muttering a “cute” under his breath which you were sure you weren’t meant to hear but you had become very attentive to him now knowing he was the one you were sitting next to and stunned by the fact he even knew your name.

You tried ignoring he was sitting next to you, but he moved around so much you wondered if he had to go to the restroom. He eventually noticed your staring simply telling you he had become restless since he had gotten sudden motivation for a song. You were impressed and intrigued by the prospect of him being a songwriter wondering what kind of words he brought to life with different melodies and harmonies.

You sneakily smiled at him, eyes flickering to the professor not far from where you were sitting before sliding your books in front of the notes he had put no effort into and giving him a sly wink giggling.

“I’ll cover for you”, you whispered.

He gave you a look that made a warm tingle run all over your body, eyes softening at you and cheekily winking back.

“I won’t forget your noble sacrifice” he immediately flipped to a new page of his notebook borrowed pencil quickly scribbling across the page.

You had to stop yourself from squealing as you subtly sank in your chair, the corner of your lips twitching as you tried to stop yourself from smiling at seemingly nothing. Sticking your nose into your own notebook and actually writing notes in order to distract yourself from looking at Jae who was now in his own world. Not failing the class was a bonus.

You were so into forcing yourself to pay attention to the monotone professor you didn’t notice Jae’s gaze coming back to your figure every so often taking note of all your features that made his heart beat faster and his head spin.

Ever since that day, you two became close, occasionally getting together outside of class when one of you finally mustered up the courage to plan said get together. It was usually to see a movie where you guys occasionally brushed each other’s hands while trying to get one of the snacks you had bought.

After the movie, it was tradition to go to the noodle place next to the bookstore at the end of the street where you laughed and joked around together. You had never told anyone of these times holding the memories as too precious and personal to share, scared that if you spoke of them they would disappear.  You had even refused to hang out with Sungjin telling him you had to study which you felt a little guilty about, but spending a little less time with him wouldn’t hurt right?

Your eyes widened as you pouted at him. “Jae, you can’t just do that to a person, I almost dropped my lunch and I would have made you pay for another one you ingrate” You were once again met with the same laugh as before, except louder this time. The one that instantly made you smile back at him, heart skipping beats periodically. The laugh that made the colors around you suddenly dance with a vibrancy that beautifully spun and twirled making you so wonderfully dizzy.

“I’m a college student Y/n I can barely afford my own food. Do you want me to starve?”  His eyes crinkled behind the glasses sitting on his narrow nose making your world spin just a bit faster on the axis of what could only be his smile. “Evil, pure evil.” he shook his head scrunching up his nose as if disappointed in you.

You put your hands on your hips  looking offended and tutting. “You’re the one that wants to make me starve. I haven’t eaten in one hour. That’s too long Jae!” he chuckled playfully, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Stop being dramatic and come eat with me loser. I mean uh, if you want to of course. Do you?” he gave you a nervous smile lightly tugging at a strand of your chair before shifting his feet and tugging at his jacket.

You tilted your head as if seriously thinking, looking at his smile slowly falling making your own heart sink being the cause of making something so lovely die. You teasingly reached up to push his glasses back up his nose, finger accidentally gracing the corner of his mouth. Softly laughing you walked by him and gently bumped his shoulder with yours.

“Maybe another day,” you snickered.    He instantly played into your joke once again laughing. He did a lot of that. Laugh. Never ashamed to show how happy he was. You on the other hand, had to hide how happy his own happiness made you.

“Walk away from me young lady and I will never let you eat my Starbursts again nerd” he threatened with a small smile playing on his lips. You couldn’t the light laugh that bubbled up from your chest turning around and putting your hands up in mock surrender. Jae’s chest filled with warm tingles like it did every time he made you laugh.

“You monster. You can’t just deprive me of Starbursts. They get me through the horror movies you always pick! I’ll sit with you, for the Starbursts.” Your determined tone and furrowed eyebrows made Jae breathlessly laugh as he walked closer to you hand reaching out towards your frozen figure.

Your heart palpitated as you tried to calm your breathing, but one of his hands took a hold of your hand running up your arm until it located itself on your shoulder, tugging you into his body and making him able to throw an arm around your shoulder.

Your skin burned wherever his warm touch lingered, and your face felt hot. You once again had to take a deep breath to calm yourself from the wondrous euphoria you felt just by being by Jae. He began walking bringing your flustered self along with him. You were so caught up in trying to make sure you didn’t trip, you didn’t notice Jae’s own cheeks tinting with pink or his shaking hand hanging off your shoulder.

He led you over to a table near the windows where two figures were hunched over and inhaling their food, talking to each other every few seconds. You recognized them as Jae’s two closest friends, Wonpil and Younghyun. You had never met them which caused you to dig your heels into the ground effectively stopping both you and Jae.

“Don’t worry they’re nice. As long as i'm here, they won’t do anything. I won’t let them” he had ducked down too whisper into your ear  warm breath hitting the shell of your ear. You hesitantly nodded continuing to walk while Jae tightened his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer into his left side making the whole right side of your body burn at the wake of his touch.

Different from his earlier tone he cheerfully called out for the two who didn;t look up from their food.

“Jae you’re usually the first one at the table what took you so long. Wait don’t tell me, busy staring at-'' Younghyun had begun speaking taunting Jae and still not looking up until he was cut off by a shove from Wonpil who had raised his gaze to greet Jae only to be surprised with you basically tucked into his friend’s body. You curiously looked up at Jae wondering what so often caught his attention so much his friends teased him who only shrugged mouthing a “he’s crazy” and looking in Younghyun’s direction.

Jae cleared his voice but you poked him purposefully looking at him and muttering, “I can speak for myself” You turned to the pair who were both kindly smiling at you waving awkwardly at them. “Uh hi, my name is Y/n”

Wonpil smiled sweetly at you putting his chin on his hand and glancing at Jae. “We know”. You stared at him, mouth falling open and uttering a confused “Huh?” You were so focused on staring questionly at Wonpil to notice Jae mouthing threatening words at his friends. Younghyun cut him with a stiff laugh “Sungjin talks about you a lot”.

You instantly bought it smiling at the thought of your friend. You had forgotten these boys were a part of the frat he had recently joined. Wonpil seemed to fall out of whatever stupor he had fallen in stupidly smiling in Jae’s direction jumping up to offer you a handshake and introducing himself which you instantly took hoping your palms weren’t sweaty from nervousness. Younghyun followed in Wonpil’s lead, just a little more relaxed and laid back than the jumpy and energetic Wonpil.

Jae’s hands ushered you to sit down while he sat opposite the seat he had pushed you into next to his friends, making Wonpil’s small form get squished between Jae and Younghyun. You smiled softly at the sight getting reminded by your own little trio of you, Sungjin, and Dowoon. You started unwrapping your sandwich as you answered basic questions from Jae’s friends like what your major was and what flavor of ice cream you preferred.

You found yourself being able to fall into a steady rhythm of laughing and talking with the three boys in front of you getting comfortable enough to relax and talk with ease growing confident with the little group. You were answering Wonpil’s question about the tattoo just behind your right ear when you saw his gaze fall to your clothes, his mouth fell open a little as he struggled to focus on your answer too focused on the hoodie enveloping your form.

His shoulders slightly slumped as he nudged Younghyun muttering to him that you had the hoodie on. You were completely enraptured in the conversation Jae had pulled you into, so Younghyun had to clear his throat to catch your attention. His mouth was tugged into a calm smile, but his gaze was sharp making your stomach quiver with a sudden bundle of nerves.

“The hoodie is nice” he gestured cooly to the hoodie keeping you warm “Where did you get it from” the question seemed to carry double meaning. You saw Jae eyes widen, filling with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, body stiffening in his seat. You suddenly remembered what the one rule Sungjin had given you when throwing the clothing at you, and you had run right out of class breaking the one damn rule he had given you.

You groaned burying your head in your arms while tugging at the fabric that was Sungjin’s hoodie as if it would magically disappear from your body into Sungjin’s hands. You chewed at your lip looking at the boys in front of you, bitten lips now formed into a pout.

“I’m not even supposed to have this. I should have given it to him by the end of class, but it was so cold and Sungjin always gives me his hoodie when I forget mine.” You ran your hands through your hair already practicing what you’d say to him, but you knew the outcome was all the same. He was probably going to give you the scolding of your life. You really didn’t understand why he cared if other people thought you were dating. He had never cared about it before.

People had even confused you as a couple before, and he had always shrugged it off forgetting about it as soon as it happened. “Ugh, he’s going to kill me. If you don’t see me tomorrow Sungjin did it” i said sadly.

Jae wasn’t saying anything finding more interest in the table than the conversation you were currently having with his friends. You wondered what was up with him since he was always more than eager to join in on the conversation, but you coined it off as him being lost in thought.

The sharp look in Younghyun’s eyes remained and he didn’t laugh like most people would at the relationship between you and the other male. Wonpil simply sank in his seat leaning a little closer to Jae. You were beginning to feel anxious left foot tapping across the floor getting ready to bolt any second. Your mouth felt dry and it hurt to swallow the bite of sandwich you had just put in your mouth.

Younghyun finally looked away from you staring out the window next to the table and fiddling with the spoon on his table. “You and Sungjin seem close” his jaw was tight and tone uninterested but you felt like your answer held the weight of the world in it. You chose to stay calm ignoring the voices in your head telling you to run away as fast as you could. The food in your stomach felt heavy and you fought the urge to throw up.

You smiled softly at them. “Of course we are, he’s one of the most important people in my life'' You saw Jae close his eyes as if he had just been punched in the gut, and you saw Younghyun’s hand clenched into a fist knuckles turning white but you kept going, keeping your voice light and soft. “He’s been my best friend since I can remember” you added on taking the hoodie off and instantly wincing and getting attacked by the cold air circulating the cafeteria.

You shivered really hating yourself for forgetting your jacket. Everybody seemed to ease up, so you figured your answer had been the right one. What exactly deemed it as right you still weren’t sure. Younghyun leaned back in his seat, his sharp gaze gone, and the humorous glint in his eyes back. Wonpil put his elbows on the table leaning closer to you and once again asking you another question while Jae seemed to spring back to life also joining in on the conversation with the bright smile back on his face and his eyes getting their shine back.

You couldn’t help but feel a light tingle prick at the back of your neck at seeing Jae happy and himself again. Your lips tugged into a small satisfied smile, and while talking with them you would continuously look at Jae who you caught staring every time then bashfully look back at Wonpil not being able to bear the thought of Jae looking at you and only you.

Jae never looked away from you. Not even when you caught him in the act simply chuckling when you smiled nervously and looked at his friend. You were both so caught up in each other you didn’t see Wonpil wiggling his eyebrows at Younghyun who rolled his eyes but smiled happily nonetheless.

A little tension left your body because the air around the four of you had immensely calmed down, but the cold was now once again seeping into your skin, chilling you to the bones.You gave the boys an uncomfortable smile as you began to shiver. Wonpil and Younghyun smiled at you sympathetically while Jae got an unsure look on his face, lips pursing and eyebrows furrowing. He looked worriedly at you, a silent question in his eyes.

“You okay?”  You beamed at him assuring him, but your body was still shaking. He set his shoulders back keeping eye contact with you while getting up and pulling his jacket off his body. He shook his head “Tsk tsk Y/n, what would you possibly do without me?” You felt your face grow hot trying your hardest to ignore the sliver of skin exposed by his shirt riding up when he took off the article of clothing.

His hair was ruffled and his glasses were askew and barely held up by the bridge of his nose, but the only thing you could focus on was the arm extended towards you holding the blue jean jacket being offered to you. Your breath was caught in your throat, and you stood there frozen staring at the jean jacket. You couldn’t even feel the chilly air of the cafeteria anymore. Not when the warmth caused by Jae’s offer was enough to sink into the deepest confines of your chest, settling there giving you an odd sense of comfort making your heart hum happily.

Both you and Jae did not see Wonpil and Younghyun looking at each other with goofy grins before leaving both of you heading towards their next classes.

The hand holding the sweater shook once. “We don’t have all day here loser. My noodle arm really can’t hold this jacket forever. I skipped arm day last week” you held your hand out placing it on the jacket, but you still didn’t take the jacket swallowing harshly and clearing your throat. You looked at Jae beneath your eyelashes blinking slowly at him ,heart pounding against your rib cage. At that moment, nobody but you and Jae existed.

“Are you sure?” your unsure question made Jae roll his eyes, his next actions happening so fast you had no time to properly react. He grasped your wrist from the hand placed on his jacket still in his hand drawing your body towards his with so much force your hips briefly bumped against his. He let go of your wrist instead grabbing his jacket with both hands, and you were forced to put your hand on his shoulder to stop yourself from actually crashing into him.

His arms went around you putting his jacket around your head in order to hang the jacket on your shoulders making sure it covered you enough so the cold wouldn’t bother you anymore. You were pretty sure the whole cafeteria could hear how loud and fast your heart was beating. You couldn’t think straight. The only thing you could even process was Jae’s hands still on the lapel of the jacket, barely brushing the part of your stomach above your belly button.

You seemed to get a control of your body as you looked up at him with wide eyes getting met with his face closer than it had ever been, the lightest flush on his cheek bones and lips slightly parted. You could see your hand trembling with pure adrenaline as the hand that wasn’t on his shoulder reached up to fix his tilted glasses and messy hair. The hand on his shoulder was close enough to his chest to feel the slight drum of his heart unusually fast for someone who was basically standing still.

You really weren’t sure why you were surprised. Jae had always gone out of his for you. Always done little things to take care of you in his own little way. Holding your hand when the professor handed back assignments rubbing your knuckles with his thumb reassuringly, playing his guitar when you were in a sad mood at the park you sometimes visited after coming back from the noodle place, gently brushing your hair away from your face when it fell on your face while writing notes, or crushing you in a hug when you didn’t get the grade you wanted hand gently holding you against him.

He always joined in on your childish behavior by pushing you on the swing or going down the slide with you at the park, always bringing you your favorite snacks from the convenience store he walked by on the way to class knowing fully well you sometimes forgot to eat, or even letting you spill your tears to him on days you just didn’t feel good.

He had always stuck by your side. During both good days and bad days even managing to make the bad days good days just by being there with you making it his mission to make you smile. All this made you come to a realization. Sure, maybe what you had for him before was nothing but a silly crush, but now as you got to know him more and become someone he confided in, the feelings you got around him were crystal clear.

You were in love with Jaehyung Park, and now that you knew what you were feeling, you wanted to scream it to the whole world. What you were feeling was something so beautiful and precious that people only dreamed to experience. You weren’t sure if the vile world would ever allow you to feel this ethereal emotion ever again, and as you looked up at the man your heart had so harshly and deeply fallen for, you were terrified. You didn’t want to ruin what you had.

You wanted to stay like this, blissfully unaware of each other's true feelings for one another. Even if your body and heart longed to be close to him, to touch him, feel him, and know every crevice and inch of him, you counted yourself lucky to be able to be close to him like this, where your probably unreturned feelings didn’t make anything awkward or burdensome for anyone.

You felt a little prick at your eye cursing yourself for wanting to cry, but you managed a small smile in Jae’s direction taking a step away from him and suggesting you sit back down since you both still had time before you had to go to class. He sat on the opposite side of the table as you, gaze not straying away from you.

You took a deep breath feeling tingles running along your spine since the air between you both had become tense filled with something you couldn’t identify. You both remained silent sitting there. You became fidgety, stretching your legs in front of you only for your right leg to gently bump against what you assumed to be the pole supporting and holding the table up. You were staring outside watching all the students pass by happily ignorant to the slight change in relationship between the two friends sitting across each other sitting in silence.

You absentmindedly started running your leg up and down the pole under the table when you heard a weird sputtering sound much alike to choking from a foot away from you. You turned away from the window looking at the man across from you only to flinch back in surprise with the sight you were met with.

Jae was staring at you with wide panicked eyes, and his shaking arm held up to his face, but even with the arm you could see the red tinting his chest, neck, face, and ears. His chest was heaving and you could see his whole body trembling. You instantly grew worried all focus going to Jae assuming there was something seriously wrong with him. The table wasn’t that wide which allowed you to lean closer to his body holding your palm to his forehead feeling it was abnormally hot. You anxiously tapped your foot against the pole supporting the table. “Jae are you okay?” you heard him gasp out an answer not being able to understand at all when you felt the pole under the table slightly move against your leg.

Wait, poles can’t move.

[jisungsmochi]

better together - park jisung

summary; sometimes jisung would make impulsive decisions and needed someone to just say to him ‘hey! what are you thinking?!’. that happened to be you. throughout the past two years of being classmates with jisung, you both had established a strong friendship that relied on both of you to keep eachother in check. but when jisung tells you his plans of confessing to his crush, you weren’t sure how to keep everything in check anymore.

im in my jisung feels oops 

word count: 1.7k :)) 

friends!au , lil angst and lots and lots of fluff hehe (sorry for any mistakes) 

//

you were laying on your bed, listening to music through your earphones. there was a knock at your door, which you were unable to hear, resulting in jisung opening your door and barging into your room. you looked over at him and screamed, visibly shaken that the boy came in without permission.

“jisung, how many times have i told you? text me when you’re coming over!” you rolled your eyes before removing your earphones and placing them on your bedside table.

“i’m sorry, i just really needed some advice” he gave you a pleading look before you nodded towards your bed where he took a seat.

“was it so important you couldn’t just have facetimed me?” you shove your elbow to his shoulder, which didn’t seem to budge him at all. he didn’t respond to your banter like he usually did.

“okay then this must be really serious, what’s up?” you seated yourself next to him, bringing your chin to rest itself against your knees.

“it’s about chaeyoung” he avoided eye contact with you and fiddled with his fingers, which you only noticed when he was nervous.

“oh” was all you could say. jisung had suddenly developed this crush on chaeyoung, almost a week after they were paired for a project. you knew that jisung often acted upon impulse, and didn’t really think a lot of things through, in which he would come to you. that’s how you both worked.

every time he brought her up, you couldn’t help but feel uneasy. you didn’t want to discourage his crush, because well, chaeyoung was a good person. but jisung was just quick to act on his emotions, and you were afraid he would get hurt.

“i want to confess to her” jisung spoke, ever so softly. you remained silent, your lips pressed to a thin line, your eyes avoiding him at all costs.

what were you supposed to say? ‘oh yeah go for it, even tho you barely know her!’ that would just make him feel even more nervous.

“do you really think it’s a good idea? jisung, you’ve only really known her for a maximum of two weeks!” you tried to reason, giving him some logical advice. he seemed to be upset by your response.

“and what? i still like her! time doesn’t matter! we’ve been friends for two years and we haven’t liked eachother! time really isn’t that important” his words struck you harder than you had ever anticipated. how could he even think of comparing your friendship to his silly crush?

“if you’re going to speak to me like that, then i’m not helping you. figure it out yourself and don’t come to me when she rejects you” you spoke, holding back any bit of dignity you had, moving yourself to your door and opening it for him. you couldn’t make out any expressions on his face, his bangs covered his eyes as he stood and exited your room without a word.

asshole. you whispered to yourself.

//

the following week at school, you avoided jisung at all costs, and it seemed like he was doing the same. you were still concerned with whether or not he went through with his confession, but you weren’t in the position to ask him.

you were sitting alone at your usual table, when chenle approached you and sat across from you.

“hey y/n” the boy smiled whilst giving a small wave. you looked up from your book, giving him a small smile before closing the book and focusing on him.

“do you know what’s up with jisung? he’s been really quiet lately. i’ve been trying to get him to play games with me but he keeps declining! he never does that!” chenle gave you a confused look as you sighed.

“he wanted to confess to chaeyoung and i pretty much advised him not to and now he’s mad at me, and now the world apparently” you let out another deep sigh, unsure of how to mend things between you two.

“oh but isn’t chaeyoung dating hyunjin?” chenle spoke, still stuck with a confused expression.

“what?” you looked at him, before shaking your head. “jisung will be crushed, unless he already confessed. oh god, i need to talk to him” you began packing your stuff.

chenle stopped you briefly,

“i hope you can help him, in my opinion, i think you two are better together than you are apart. i hope things can be fixed between you two!” he gave you a small fist bump before allowing you to leave, as you bid him a goodbye.

//

the bell rang, signalling the end of school. you knew that on wednesday’s, jisung would be in the dance hall of the school, practicing his routine for the upcoming showcase. you ran to the hall, hoping he didn’t skip his session, when you were met with jisung, dancing alone. he seemed more sloppy today, as if he wasn’t even trying. it saddened you to see him so down, mainly because you felt it was partially your fault. you knocked on the door, watching as his head spun to face you. his face dropped when he saw you standing there. one thing about jisung, he often gets stubborn when he’s upset.

you place your bag on the ground and make your way towards him. he saw through the mirror that you were standing behind him. he sighed softly before coming to face you. you stepped closer to him, he watched as you wrapped your arms around him without a word. like you already knew how he was feeling. like you already knew he needed this right now.

your embrace made his heart beat faster, which he hoped you hadn’t caught onto. as you pulled away, he gave you a small smile,

“what was that for?”

“for not being a good friend to you” you pouted.

“you weren’t being a good friend? wow you’re making me look like the worst friend ever. i shouldn’t have been so stubborn. i should have just respected your advice, even if it wasn’t what i wanted to hear” jisung embraced you once again, letting you softly rub his back.

“it’s okay, i forgive you. i also heard what happened, did you confess to her?” you spoke, letting him take a moment before responding.

“no i didn’t, i mean. i’m not sure if i ever was going to. i don’t even think i liked her all that much. i just wanted to hear it from you that uh, i should go for her” jisung’s words made you confused as ever.

“what the heck are you talking about?” you crossed your arms.

“i wanted your attention. i guess i wanted you to be, jealous?” as the words left his mouth, you gave him a slight slap on his forearm.

“jisung park, you are the biggest idiot i have ever met!” you couldn’t contain yourself.

“hey! i wanted you to be jealous because well, i” he grabbed your hands before slapping him once more and gripped them firmly.

“i love you” his voice suddenly became quiet. your eyes widened in disbelief.

“you what?!”

“i love you, y/n. okay i tried to ignore it and hide it but i couldn’t. i love you, because you’re the only person who really gets me. you understand the way i think, you don’t let me get my own way sometimes! you’re always there to tell me when i’m doing something stupid! i love you because you always give me the tops of your muffin even though i know you like the tops more than the bottom. i love how, even when we weren’t talking to eachother, you still came to see if i was okay. we just work so well together. we work better together than we do apart and i just want you to hear me say that i love you” his face had turned into a bright pink shade, as his hands became more shaky. you felt tears prickling the sides of your eyes. you let some tears fall before saying,

“jisung, you are so crazy, witty and honestly you’re just such a loser. but i love you for that. you’re not afraid to hide things from me which i have appreciated ever since we’ve became friends. your quirky antics make me laugh until i cry, your dancing amazes me every time i just feel such overwhelming joy for you. you make me smile on all of my bad days, and you have such a way with words i could never compare. we are better together. and i’m so so glad that you finally said this to me. i love you, jisung” you both hadn’t let go of eachother hands, which were probably now really sweaty.

he smiled down at you before pulling you into his chest, your ear hovering over his heart.

“do you feel that? that’s what happens every time i get to hug you” he muffles into your hair. you couldn’t help but smile like an absolute idiot.

“you’re so cheesy” you shook your head in amusement.

“yeah but you love it” he smirked before pulling you from him. you rolled your eyes before looking into his.

it took a moment before he leaned down to hover his lips over yours.

“is it okay if i” he doesn’t finish as you pull him in from his shirt and press your lips together. he let out a small squeak from the sudden movement but melted into the kiss smoothly. his hands made his way to the sides of your face as yours remained on his chest. kissing jisung wasn’t something you had ever thought would actually happen, you didn’t want it to stop. as you both pulled away, you were slightly giggling.

“i really really love you” he mumbled before placing another kiss to your lips.

“i really really love you too” you smiled while playing with his hair.

there was no other way you could have made it here, if it weren’t for jisung. he’s the biggest idiot on the planet, but you loved him. and he loved you.

[helreigns]

ey.

alright, so. yes, it’s your boy, big z. let’s talk a bit. i don’t know where this is gonna go, but i’ll be frank with you guys: being away from this app has done wonders for me. seriously. i’ve lost weight, my skin’s better, my productivity’s increased- people say that as a meme but no, i’m serious. a few months ago i was telling my friends “I considered going back to tumblr but like, lmao. im happy so why would i?” because frankly, being on here does not make me happy. 

i’m very good at curating my content, avoiding goofy bitches- a master at the craft, ik ik, but it’s not about that. i can ignore, block, and continue about my day as it was without caring much about a 19 year old who believes their a minor and an angel or some shit, w/e. the goofies aren’t even the issue. i didn’t come here with a plan on what to talk about so this is all just coming at once because i keep thinking “tumblr’s kind of the best place for a multimuse, and i know some good peeps.” that’s my thought process when considering returning, but guys. we need to address the issue: it’s hard to find this enjoyable. i certainly know it’s not just me. let me go in depth.

fiction is fiction. i don’t care what kind of writing you do, be it kink-writing, fluff, dark-fiction / darkfics, developmental, etc. people have gotten to a point where they see something they don’t like and they can’t remove themselves from the situation. with kids, it’s expected, but people into their late twenties continue to act like this-- but this isn’t my main reason why i think it’s no longer enjoyable as it was in early 2010s-- it’s cause back then, you didn’t really have to worry about your partners being two-faced. i swear people on here think they’re on some anime villain shit, i swear to god i’ve literally had a friend who made a discord server, set it up, built it up & made it for people who want to write with each other & aren’t mentally harmed by whatever topics they included noncon, dubcon, etc. don’t care- if you aren’t down to read, you don’t need to. that’s fine, it’s dandy. what happened was that someone pulled some, idk black widow shit and joined the server pretending to be a writer who enjoys darkfiction and woe and behold, they were some goofy bitch who leaked all the logs / urls -- and i gotta ask: what is the point. don’t say it’s “to warn others” cause no it ain’t bitch lmao. it’s to shame them, dogpile, & report-- let’s not get into the weird, disgusting high that these people get. feeling like they really CHANGED something in the world for “exposing” a discord full of people that deadass just wanna write fanfiction. yeah, much change, very w0ke. doge meme that stupid shit, lmao. 

i know im rambling but man. okay, back to the whole two facething. i just dont feel comfortable sharing anything about myself. i’ve literally lied about my location, the place i’m living in- things as simple as me being in collage or not. why? cause goofy bitches love to dox, play games, threaten livelyhoods and talk the most fatdick game on the internet but when someone gets hurt they will crawl into a hole and pity the shit out themselves because uwu no wrong- bullshit bro. legit, i can’t make friends on here because it feels like everyone is taking screencaps of everything, not even because they themselves are twofaced, but you can’t take the risk of not having “””recipts”””. like bro, we’re having a CONVERSATION. i literally didn’t wanna give out disco/rds the last time i was here cause i felt that could be a method to dox me. stupid shit, right? it feels like this is some stupidass anime political battleground. this kinda had no point, it’s just me voicing my feelings. still, if you take anything out of this: for god sakes, leave each other alone. stop with this wannabe mean girls shit. it’s tumblr rp & it never shouldve been that deep. i absolutely don’t give a shit about “reputation” - i’m on the internet lmao, neither should you all. also, one more thing: if your friendship is conditional, then it isn’t one at all. if you believe someone will no longer be friends with you cause they find out you like to read lmao fuckin noncon? ditch. it’s not worth it. if some mf just said “if you like uhh homes/tuck, i will block you” that’s how it deadass sounds. goofy shit. that’s all, feel free to ignore, reblog, idc. stay safe

[feralcherry]

“That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.” IM SORRY IM SUCH A HOE FOR KALEX

This has been sitting in my ask box for a LONG time and I decided to finally finish it. skdjfha bYE this is probs some AU idk

Kaius had been laughing the night away with his oldest friend, both of them drinking their weight and more in human libations. Without the limitations of a human body, the alcohol did little more than spark a light buzz in both men. Normally Kaius would only treat himself to a few fingers of whiskey, but with Alex at his side, their drink came free and ever-flowing.

“You just can’t help but draw attention, can you?” Kaius chuckled.

Alex’s peculiar eyes crinkled at the corners, the tips of his ears a soft rosy red. Kaius couldn’t bite his own tongue fast enough, leaning in and teasing him in a lilting voice. Umber crashed into mismatched ice and earth, his breath hitching before he can get the words to come out.

“I mean, take a look around. That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.“

Alex stilled, a cat confronted with something new. He’s been oggled at before, Kaius knows, being as beautiful as he was. And usually, he would just brush the attention off, or soak it up when he was dying to drown out whatever thoughts were plaguing that award-winning brain of his. But the attention of other men seemed to still catch him off guard.

Kaius’ smile grew crooked, one side lifting higher with his mirth. There was something soft about Alex that still existed deep down in the winding cavern of his heart, and it showed in times like this. Kaius greedily soaked it in, knowing Alex let his guard down for very few, and that Kaius was one of the lucky ones who knew Alex so closely.

He couldn’t help but be jealous of that man at that bar, for inspiring such a painting worthy expression. It wasn’t shy, not quite, but something akin to it, something kinder at the edges than his usual devil-may-care smile and glinting eyes.

Alex cleared his throat, taking a sip of his overly expensive bourbon. “I hadn’t noticed.”

It wasn’t often that Alex wasn’t hyper-aware of the people around him. Years of paranoia had stacked the deck in his favor, but tonight it seemed, Alex’s expressions were all for Kaius. Even in a room full of others, Alex was only looking at him. It made him feel heady like he’d drank some of his grandmother’s moonshine. He couldn’t deny the thrill that came at holding Alex Prescott’s undivided attention.

“You? Not notice every detail in a room? You’re slipping, Prescott. “ Kaius tsked, pressing his shoulder into Alexs’.

“Maybe I’m busy noticing something else.” A hint of his cockiness dripped with every word, the tables turning too fast for Kaius.

Like a set of blinds, Kaius closed down and pulled away with an awkward laugh. His own cheeks grew warm under Alex’s gaze. Bringing his lonely glass to his lips, Kaius drank more than he should have, the liquid going down the wrong pipe. He choked, rapidly swallowing it before letting out a series of harsh-sounding coughs.

He never could tell when Alex was flirting with him. Even now, as Alex laughed at Kaius’ misfortune, he couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Alex would even look his way. But there’s something to be said in being the one to make him laugh so hard, the two of them bursting into uproarious laughter.

Sometimes it felt like they were playing a game of chicken, making half moves before falling back. Sometimes, Kaius wondered if he were playing the game by himself and was risking his entire friendship for something that’d never come to fruition. 

Alex’s eyes traced the bar patron’s figure and Kaius held back his frustration. He wondered if he’d ever know where Alex’s head was truly at.

———————————

Last call had been over an hour ago and the two had retreated by to Kaius’ apartment, finally deciding on a stronger drink. The moonshine burned on the way down but it had stopped phasing Kaius long ago, the familiarity of it more of a comforting feeling than anything else. They’d stumbled onto his couch, laughing and reminiscing about their high school days.

It was how Kaius found himself gazing at Alex again, his eyes lingering on Alex’s mouth every time the man spoke. He wanted to kiss them, to taste the secrets that lingered at the corners and bask in the shape of them. The feeling overwhelmed him, adding fuel to the flames licking in his stomach.

This close, Kaius could count every eyelash, could spot every minute freckle spanning Alex’s skin. His sandy hair looked soft, the tips finding their way between Kaius’ fingers, the sensation heavenly.

Kaius felt himself drift forward, his hand cradling the back of Alex’s neck gently, their lips sealing together into one delicious kiss. Alex stilled, eyes still wide open when Kaius finally pried open his own. He pulled away reluctantly, eyes flickering off to the side.

Even though it was his own home, Kaius felt the need to get off the couch and move away from the shell shocked blonde. He turned from him, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I think you should go, I hadn’t meant to-” Kaius stopped himself, heaving a sigh. “Look, I’m drunk.”

He chanced a look, watching as Alex slowly came back to life, nodding to himself like it made all the sense in the world. “It’s alright, we can just…ignore it.”

“No, I think you should go home. It’s getting late anyways.” Kaius forced a chuckled, watching as Alex got to his feet.

His friend looked like he were in a daze and Kaius wanted to slam his head against a wall. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

“I should probably sober up.” He added on. “Obviously I’m not thinking clearly.”

Alex flinched but nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll catch you later alright?”

“Of course man. See you.” Kaius watched Alex walk himself out the door, not trusting his stupid hands to see him out. “See you later.”

The door shut and Kaius hissed, palms rubbing into tired eyes. “What the fuck did I just do?”