#im rooting for them..... i hope i see them again...... dont tell me if i do or dont please i wanna be surprised

[moeblob]

thinking about their civilian clothes.... and also thinking about how in the vanguard armor his chest looks much larger (valid, it's armor) and I think he deserves to keep that chest.

[racecardilfs]

aegean - fa14 smau

fernando alonso x fem!singer!reader

summary: fernando alonso and his girlfriend break up, but is it really over?

warnings: angst no fluff! some slut shaming moments, fernando does NOT look good in this one, but theres more going on behind the scenes i promise xx

a/n: this has no specific face claim, and the songs mentioned are from a variety of artists! there will be a list at the end of the post ♡ there is a part two to this all planned out, it will be posted shortly, hopefully!

my masterlist ❀ part two

Twitter

Instagram

Liked by yourbsf2, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 212,964 others

yourusername shout out to my girls 🫶 i love you forever!

tagged: yourbsf1, yourbsf2, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes

yourbsf1: YOURE SO PRETTY I LOVE YOU WIFE!!!!!

yourusername: NO YOU!!

alexandrasainmleux: pretty pretty girl!!

yourusername: can’t wait for another date with you gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 charles_leclerc: excuse me? yourusername: you’re excused, vroom vroom boy 😒

user1: gorgeous gorgeous girls have breakup parties together

yourusername: you know it!!! user2: CONFIRMATION? IM DEVASTATED. RUINED. WALKING INTO THE OCEAN.

Liked by f1, astonmartinf1, and 375,599 others

fernandoalo_official Greece, you were beautiful🤩A few days off before it’s back to the track again! 🏎️

User3: Sir, I don’t know what you did, but you better fix it right the fuck now.

User4: how do you know it was his fault? we don't know anything yet User3: bc that woman is literally a saint, there’s no way it was her fault User5: don’t get me wrong, i love y/n so much, but there’s no way for us to know what happened. it might not have been anyones fault, and neither of them need this energy if they’re trying to get over their breakup :’( i’m rooting for both of them

Hater1: Always knew she was bad for you, congrats man!

astonmartinf1: see you soon, sir!

Twitter

Instagram

Liked by yourbsf1, charles_leclerc, maisiehpeters, and 264,978 others

yourusername been a little busy lately, but i’ve got something cooking for you all!

yourbsf2: love you so big <3

yourusername: i love you the biggest! 💓

alexandrasaintmleux: can’t wait for everyone else to hear it!!

user6: PLEASE TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!!!! 🙏 alexandrasaintmleux: 🤫

user 7: oh… this is gonna wreck me, isnt it.

lilymhe: yeah… you’ll thank her though

user8: the last photo 💔 i promise it gets easier, y/n

Liked by yourusername

Liked by finneas, coltonherta, yukitsunoda0511, and 516,785 others

yourusername remember when i said i had something cooking? my album ‘aegean’ is out now. a lot of love and hurt went into this album, and now it’s yours. i hope it means as much to you as it does to me <333

finneas: it was such a blast to work with you on this album, lets do it again soon!!

yourusername: yes please!

francisca.cgomes: so proud of you babe, just lmk when you want to run away and elope!

yourusername: my bags are packed and waiting! pierregasly: guess i’ll just leave you both to it 🧍

yourbsf2: wow look at how cool and pretty and talented my best friend is, everyone!!!

yourusername: ugh i love you so much

alexandrasaintmleux: still so excited!!! can we please go get late night ice cream to celebrate

yourbsf1: seconded francisca.cgomes: thirded! yourusername: ok to the groupchat before this is a long chain xx alexandrasaintmleux: as you wish, babe 👩‍❤️‍👩

user8: oh my god???? surprise drop???? queen behavior

user9: i’m not crying, YOU’RE crying!

user10: ur crying too, dont lie! user9: ok yeah. have you HEARD aegean? how could i not be screaming crying throwing up.

Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, yourbsf1, and 228,531 others

lilymhe this amazing, beautiful girl did something amazing and beautiful again! y/n, i am so so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. please never let the hurt keep you down, because you are absolutely incredible. We will always be there to pick you back up if you need it! midnight ice creams with you are something i will cherish forever 🫶

tagged: yourusername, yourbsf1, your bsf2, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes, maisiehpeters

yourusername: i love you sooo much lily <33333 thank you for being such an incredible friend

lilymhe: i love you forever 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

francisca.cgomes: pretty best friends stick together forever and ever

yourusername: men are temporary, girlfriends are forever

maisiehpeters: might need to move to monaco so i can come to every midnight ice cream from now on

lilymhe: you’re welcome every time!

user11: how do i get this kind of female friendship in my life? 🥺

yourusername: be kind, be yourself, and be open! your people will find you, user11 💕 user11: OMG HI QUEEN ILYSM KEEP BEING YOU!!! thank you so much!

Twitter

Fernando Alonso's Instagram messages

a/n: and that's my first fic! first smau too, so i hope the formatting isn't too bad? i love when reader is friends w the wags, but i also always love to have y/n have friends outside of the paddock, so i hope no one minded! sorry if any of the wags are ooc i just rlly needed a big group of girl friends for this and idk how normal people talk. also was this just propaganda for some of my fav songs/artists? maybe 🤭i'm actually super nervous about this, so i hope you all enjoyed!!! please send me any questions or comments you have!

the songs mentioned are:

While You Were Sleeping - Laufey

Black Hole - boygenius

Lovesick - Laufey

Goddess - Laufey

Wendy - Maisie Peters

anything - Adrianne Lenker

opposite - Sabrina Carpenter

Aegean - Push Baby

Mud - Delaney Bailey

things i wish you said - Sabrina Carpenter

(I Would Have Followed You) - Delaney Bailey

[ikkosu]

Earthspark bumblebee is currently rotting my brain from the inside out so could I ask for so fluffy fem shyer human and bumblebee who are crushing hard for each other but keep both of them keep prolonging confessing to the other the terrans realize what's going on and take it upon themselves try to get them to confess their feelings to each other

SUNSHINE

bumblebee x shy!fem!reader

a/n: tfe bee is so big brother energy 😭 he reminds a lot of what rid bee could be. I had a lot of fun writing this ! totally didn't rewatch all the bee scenes to get his character right,,,,,totally didn't. (I don’t write fluff often so i treid my best I swear)

[i]

"When are you gonna suck it up like a man and confess?"

Twitch startled you from above as the whirs of her fan hummed gently, hovering around you in her alt-mode.

"C'mon! What're you gonna say, huh? Turn away from the problem like you always do?"

Gloved hands, scathed with dirt, halted in the midst of pulling out a persistent weed. You feel your temple burn, a nervous laugh bubbled from your throat as your fingers plunged into the soil once more, pawing around to find the root of the problem.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!".

"I don't know what you mean."

When you did find the source, delicately you curled your fingers into the crevices, balling the soil then, with a huff, yanked the roots out. You're careful not to damage the nearby flowers.

When confronted at the baselines of your problems, you often churn into a sputtering mess. Sometimes, you have to clarify that no, you’re not angry, or no you’re not daunting — that’s your facial expressions constricting. Because if you don't. You're going to cry. And you're going to cry lots over matters daintier than an atom.

"Wuss."

"Twitch. Really you are trying." You sigh when the drone nudged your back.

A quick zip-zap of metallic whirs and she’s in her usual form, yellow eyes ablaze, arms crossed, leaning over with a scowl. Her hips jutted out, sassed-esque — a pose Dorothy used often when she's mad.

"I appreciate your concern but—"

“Dont even try to push it away. I'm not stupid." She prods, getting up to your face. Really, this adorable thing is half a step away from making you ostrich-dunk your head into the soil. "Oh, let me guess : tongue, tied? Busy thinking about a certain someone? Someone, or a bot so yellow like the sun, it’s blinding your eyes?”

You don’t even know where to begin. So, you look into the soil really hard, like you’re trying to find something worth focusing on. Oh, look. A worm. Bingo.

"I'm going to eat that worm if you're not going to look at me."

"Twitch—" You began.

Then, she’s shoved away.

"Sorry, you see. Wh-what she's saying is that, well, you know—" Thrash nudged his head into view, twiddling his thumbs as a demure, placating smile eased on his soft face. "...it's high time you...tell 'im how you feel?"

This time you want to plunge your head into the soil. It’s not a want, it’s a need. The scent of earth was purging strong, beckoning you with it's heed, as you, yet again, choke back another sound. You laugh, nervous. God, this earthworm! So, interesting. Haha. So...so...er. Hm.

"Pshh. How I feel? I feel fine."

"I mean...about your, uh, crush on bee."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Twitched groaned, rolling around the grass all the way from the stack of hays to the tip of your boots. Then, she repeated the motion, each rant about your supposed love life —also, none-existent, if you will— becoming more fervent. That is, until Thrash had plucked her up by the arm pits and she fell limp like a doll in his hold.

" You said you’d be nice about it."

"What’s there to be nice about?! They’re being so smushy mushy , oh darling so lovely, it's giving me the critters!” She growled, clawing the air

You stood up with an uncertain hunch in your shoulder. You’re still holding the clump of soil in your rubber gloves, back taut and jaws slacked. The earthworm was gone, buried in the soil somewhere. You hoped it had a a nice stay unsurfaced for once — and you really should keep twitch away from Wheeljack. She's even swearing, now. She swears!

“Come on, now Twitch. It isn’t so bad.” You say quietly, not trusting yourself to yell at the skies in full volume. Really, you’ll disentigrate.

“You don’t get to talk, wuss.”

“Twitch!’’

“What?”

“Mom said be nice. A person’s word is like a kni—“

"Yeah, well she's a liar!" You shrunk asher digit juts your way. "That's gotta breach the fifteenth rule, right? A whole machete stab?"

Thrash seemed surpise. "You actually remember the rules."

You're exasperated. "What rules? And, what on earth are you both talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me!"

"Really, I'm not." Oh my god, are you really having a verbal spar with a — with a child of all bots that's half your size?!

"Oh, yeah? Then why you're nervous, huh? If you're not nervous then you've got nothing to hide."

"I'm not nervous." You said, blinking profusely.

Twitch made a face. "You're gardening."

"The grass looked bad."

"You garden when you're nervous."

You feel your lungs gave out. Your inner you's are bouncing around in your skull, panicking and screaming in disbelief. Alarm signals, blaring inside. How did she know?!

"N..no? I garden when I'm....happy." You kick the ground sheepishly. Bad call. The soil tipped over a your hold, little dots of brown mingled with the grass. Oh, dear.

"Happy? Please. You're nervous because big 'ol bee didn't have the spark to confess to missy sweet spark with barely any roots to hold herself." Twitch huffs. She's getting to sassy for her own good — "And so are you, wuss."

"We're friends!" You said, though the term was lacking. "Normal friends. Buddy, even. Buddy friends...haha...."

Thrash stiffens.

Twitch deadpans.

Both at the same time uttered : "Really?"

[ii]

They're hiding in a bush. A bush of all places. No, not the tree, obscured by the leaves and a leverage with the branches. Or, whatever hiding place is deemed suitable for this operation. A bush. Can you believe that?

Fluffy Ears nestled herself on the grass, curious eyes skimming over the several Terrans peeking over the bush. Thrash brought it upon himself to hide in the barn because, as per his words, a good spy needs a good hiding place.

The only good thing about his 'prowling' tendencies is the fact he falls asleep during these so-called covert operations. Which is why he gets most of the ranks during training. What a scammer.

Jawbreaker was too large to hide behind a,ugh, bush so he was demoted to simply standing a few meters back, loitering by the fence.

Twitch feels something poking her rib plate. Can't the spot get any more cramped? "Nightshade, I swear to Primus—"

"Hush! There he is! The first move. Hashtag, commence operation : video!"

"That's not even—"

"On it!" Hashtag wrangled out the most, honest to Unicron, humongous camera in existence.

Silence veiled the three Terrans as they spot the yellow black approaching their resident gardener-who-normally-comes-at-the-weekends-and-bee-is-distraught-over-that-fact, tending the newly planted flowers by the hedge.

"So, I was wondering..." He's stretching on his toes, not exactly looking at you.

How could he? Everytime he so much as to catch a glimpse of your face, he feels like tripping over his own pedes and burrowing himself into the ground until comets rain, the world in flames — and god knows when would Primus let him out again.

"You need something, bee?" You swivel up, pawing your apron to get off the dirt from your gloves.

But he looks confused, optics lowered downwards, brows furrowed. You look as well, then up.

"Yellow, huh." He looks away, pointing to your torso.

You look down again then realized what he meant. Your face burns with a vengeance.

"My other apron broke." You try not to stammer but it's proven futile as an amused smile eased over his face. "A-alex decided to give me his, well, you know one of his precious merch which...is typically your...um face on it. If it makes you uncomfortable—"

"No! Gosh, no. You can wear it all you want. I'm just surprised, that's all. You never really... Besides, it's nice...." He looks down and kicks the grass a little, servos behind his back. "It...suits you well."

At the compliment you look up, hoping not to make eye contact, but he does as well and you're both held at a stalemate. His round almond optics droop. For a moment, his lips part, then it shuts. He looks down, avoiding your gaze.

Is he... flustered? At that thought, you fisted the apron, bunching it a little. You look away, hiding the way you smiled a little. " ...It's a pretty color. Yellow, I mean. Honeybee. I love bees."

He looks back up, blue optics flared, and into your eyes. His chassis did those little backward flips and, he swears to Primus, he'll simply disintegrate. You're a lovely color too.

Bee flinched the moment you turn to him at break neck speed, sputtering, eyes wide and face, all the more flustered.

"What?"

"What?" He said that out loud. He said it. Out. Loud. He held up his servos. "I-i meant it's a lovely color. As in, you know, you're a lovely color so like when you said yellow was a lovely color. I thought— What I mean by that is— Oh, forget it." He lets out a deep vent. "It's been a long day. Sorry."

"You're fine. It's fine, I mean." You said. When silence veils over you both (Twitch really wants to strangle you, right now) you speak up again, quietly. "You were going to ask something...?"

His door wings pike up in surprise, much to his chagrin.

"Oh, right. Forgot about that." He coughed and cleared his throat. " I was wondering If you were...you know..." Gosh, what's that word. "Freethisweekend?"

It was so quick and quiet, you didn't really grasp much of what he uttered. “I got free— what's the next—"

"This weekend." He said, then trailed off. "Free... this weekend."

"Oh..." You look to the ground, hands primly folded behind your back.

"To... ah,” Just ask her out. Just ask her out. Worse she can say is no and no. No is fine! If you don't ask, you'll never know. That's what Elita said, right? Right? He sags. She said a lot of things.

He decides to go in for the kill but the moment he met your eyes, your pretty eyes, your temple grew warm, like really warm. He feels his own face burning and he starts stumbling over his words. “Free to. To go. To, um, a, well, a...d—dah, dah, duh, die, no! A, ah, diversion! Yes! Right. Diversion."

A domino effect of forehead slapping commenced. Bee, you fool! Twitch was wrangled back by Hashtag from leaping over the bush.

"Diversion?" Your face furrowed.

"With the....Terrans!" He snapped his servos. " Right, the Terrans. You know, a new lesson I made. Figured you'd be there for support. It's all about the essence of....diversion."

You stand there, mouth opening then closing. "...Sure, I guess. What time?"

"Anytime you're free." He says it, almost breathlessly.

You blink. "I thought it was a scheduled lesson."

His door wings pike up again. He groaned internally. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, uh. Yeah. Right. Schedule….schedule…So, how's ten tommorow? I'll round up the kids by then."

"Sounds good."

"Good. Good. See you....later."

You wave, then turned around, rounding the corner of the house. The moment you did, your face crumbled and you hid your face into your palms, a whine seethed inside your throat. Bee, however, pressed his helm against his servo, sighing.

How did I messed that up so badly?

Meanwhile, in the bush.

"Cut the film, Hash." Twitch resigned.

"But he could push on!"

"I highly doubt that." Nightshade was already crawling away.

Jawbreaker clicked thought the comms. "I saw yellow leaving. Is everything alright?"

"Nothing. Is Thrash dead? Thought so. Saw his head peeking out from the barn. Someone get him, please."

And, while they're all about to regroup. Twitch just had the perfect idea. It's about time she takes matters into her own hands.

[v]

Night plunged the skies, freckled with stars reflecting off his windshield as he rolled underneath the veil of darkness.

"Bee quick! Come to the barn! A problem just came up!"

"Twitch?" He was about to scale another ramp when he halted midway, changing course immediately. "C'mon talk to me. What's the problem?"

"Just come! It's urgent!"

Seeds of inky doubts blotched into his mind. The little runt had a lot of tricks up her sleeves. Sure, she's a heavy hitter but also a decent liar. Last time she pulled off the same shtick he was pushed into a hole....filled to the brim with mud. He walked around the vicinity and stank like cow feces for days.

He really should stop letting twitch mingle with Wheeljack.

His wheels rolled up to a stop in front of the barn. The trees, inky black, loomed around the farm, towering above him. He felt a shudder up his spine. Leaves rustled. Crickets chirp. All was quiet. Too quiet.

"Twitch? Kids?" He slid the barn door aside, joints whirring with every step. Hay crunched under his pedes. " Ugh, not this again. Guys, seriously. If, if this, Primus who littered this place? If this is one of your jokes I swear to— huh?"

The basement door was open. A gaping hole, black and swarthy greeted his eyes. Who left that open? He took a step closer. "Guys? Are you in there? What's going on?"

Another step. Then another.

"Look, you can come out now. This isn't funny."

The hole grew bigger, bigger and— Footsteps pattered behind him. It was gentle but it drew alarm as Bumblebee whirled around. And, there she was. Twitch stood before him, a wide, chesire grin on her face. The moonlight illuminated her from behind, casting an ominous shadow that loomed In front of her figure.

"Adios!"

He sputtered in confusion and felt two pedes connecting with his chest and he's sent stumbling back down the steps of Nightshade's underground lab. His shout of surprise was quickly drowned out when Twitch pulled the door shut.

"There! That'll do it." She grinned, fists on her hips. “You got that hash?”

“All on tape. Even his face too! Did you see how he looked like?” Hash stepped out of her hiding place, literally behind the hay. The original culprit of hay litter-er. "They're gonna be there for hours! Trapped in each other's embrace! Oohhhh this is so rad. You've seen those rom-coms, right? It's going be so funny when they come back out.”

"With result." Nightshade chirped, coming up beside them. "It's been awhile something has transpired. A change of the usual routine. Oh, the bore of waiting so long. As a scientist myself. I admit — it can get a little bothersome. Let's only hope the heat from the generator can keep them warm."

Silence. Hashtag feels two optics on her.

"Generator, what generator?"

"....Hashtag." They begin slowly. Twitch looks mortified.. "....Please tell me you didn't cut off the generator when I said only to cut off the vault."

Confusion furrowed her brows. "How else would the door be locked if I didn't?"

Twitch groaned, head into her palms.

Nightshade stares at the closed vault. "....Oh, dear."

[vi]

"Unnfh!" His helm collided against the floor. Great. That’s just great. Mentor student. Mentor student! You don’t do this to your mentors! Annoyance bubbled inside his chassis and he grits his teeth. That is it. That is it. He’s had enough of her tomfoolery, her jokes, her tricks! Tommorow, he’s going to put her through hell and back—

“Bee?” He feels something warm touching his shoulder.

His helm swivels up, then his optics widens in surpise when your nose is inches away from his own. You make a flustered sound, suddenly falling back on your ass to put space between you both, embarrassed. “Sorry. I didn’t think you’d uh be that close.” Was a soft mumble. “The fall looked like it hurt. You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I’m fine.” He breaths out, scrambling up to sit properly. He’s not sure what position, so he curled up his knee plates to his chassis. Your eyes are too…impossible to look at. “Think I broke a joint there.”

“You break joints too?”

He huffs a laugh, “You don’t think we do?” “I mean as in,” You gesture to his body, “ You know, cracking joints. Is it equivalent to me popping my knuckles? I saw you did it this morning when you stretch.” You trailed off, then shake your head. “Sorry, it’s a stupid question.”

“It’s fine. It’s not stupid. You’re not….stupid.” He clears his throat, “We also experience cramps. Tension in the joints when, well, like how a rusty hinged door won’t open up all the way.”

“Oh, that’s one way to put it.” You scoot a bit closer, pressing up against his leg. Bumblebee stiffens, servos moving over to stiffly cup your back to keep on you warm. The air was unusually chilly today. His quick scans showed the generator wasn’t working. Did the lights went out? His servos graze over your shoulders, massaging it a little, then behind your neck.

“And, and that one time. I don’t think you know him yet, he’s an old friend back during the war," He starts rambling for something to say anything to keep the conversation going, “His name’s Ratchet. Old bot forgot to oil up his pistons and couldn’t move for an entire day! Can you believe that? We had to carry him everywhere we went. Once, I was caught in the crossfire. Bullets were raining. Full on barrage. Nonstop. And he’s just like that, a plank of wood in my arms as I ran. You should’ve seen the look in his face!

“I can imagine he’s not happy,” A giggle bubbled in your throat. His audials perk up. “Yeah, I can tell. He’s a lot less crass in his manners when he dealt with me,” Bee leans a bit close, the servo skims down to your torso. “After all the bedgruding looks I’ve gotten from him — he’s got no choice but to give me special treatment of letting me off a few scolding.” “Oh? Why’s that,”

“I’m not exactly the prim and proper type.”

“My, my is bee the rebellious type?”

He lowers his voice into a playful whisper. “I had a phase, okay? Everyone does. Mine, though, it’s just worse than Arcee’s. She’s unhinged too but waaaay less moody. But don’t tell the kids that. I’m not going to have my name sullied, you hear?”

“Noted, officer. But I really can’t promised I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

He groans then a digit nudges your ribs. “No, really I’m serious. They’re going to kill me with that. I don’t want another incident to tarnish my reputation. Ive got Jawbreaker pestering me about how I made a mistake choosing my first alt-mode, I don’t need another slander. My feelings,” he says with a servo over his chassis, “they’re fragile.”

“Come on,” you leaned forward, cheek against his leg plate. Bee looks away, holding himself back from, well, squishing that…squishy part of your face. “It’s not so bad. The beetle looked adorable.”

“Beetle. Really? Beetle?” He looked almost offended you termed it that way.

“Isn’t that what it’s called?” He leans over and flicks your head. “I’d prefer it if you called it something else.”

You laugh. “I’ll bite, then. The Beatles?”

“No,” He said the words too fast, “Honey.”

You freeze. He freezes.

He did not just say that. Oh, no. He did not. He did not. When you look away that’s when he panicked. No! He’s not going to let the past few minutes go to waste! “As in yellow! Honey as in yellow!” He backpedaled, raising up his servos. “You know when I— when you said that, I was—" What’s up with him today? Then, he sags, muttering defeatedly. “It’s not what you think I meant to say.”

He’s blown it. Thrown it all down the drain. All his hard work now crumbled at the mere touch of his fingertips. You speak up after a moment, “What if…I wanted it to be what I think you meant?”

He looks at you again, surprise. He felt his spark clenching. This time you held firm eye contact despite your hands that were shaking. Think about gardening. Think about gardening. This is like that! Like he’s a flower. Gentle to hold. You steeled yourself and stood up on your toes, palms on his knee plates as you leaned in close.

“What did you meant?” You said softly.

His servos reached out to cup your cheek, curling his digits around the back of your hair. You leaned against his touch, closing your eyes. It was warm. His touch was warm. Pulsing and thrumming against your face.

“What I meant is that you’re someone important to me.” Then, he pulls you close, his optics flickering back and forth nervously. “So important I….think about you a lot. Like, a lot. I can’t….really stop. Even when I want to….its hard.”

Your face burns but you’re not letting that deter you. If god decided to kill you today, you’d steel on, wading through his comets. Think about the garden! You close the distance and your lips find the crook of his nose, pressing a gentle kiss to it, then his cheek. Your palms rested on his shoulder. Bee blinks, choking back a surpised sound at the touch but his servos manage to find your waist, curling his digits around the fabric of your shirt and pulls you close. He tilts his head so his lips would find yours.

“I think about you too.” You mumble against his lips.

[luffyvace]

HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul

IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥

(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)

also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)

tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)

alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)

i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)

so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda

hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)

theres no need for cuddles during business

unless your like uvo and simply don’t care

then it annoys the crap out of him <3

it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public

will cuddle you in private tho

y’all usually sit there in silence or read together

he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him

he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before

if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back

because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?

im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still

he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay

he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want

your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying

although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you

even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well

btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful

aint no body wanna see allat-

he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how

otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can

whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine

i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way

he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything

just purely scarring them 😭

if you be firm about him stopping he will

unless it’s a big scary dog or smth

then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious

will scare people with said animal

for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)

i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want

if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it

but

if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him

seriously he sees no reason in it

once you do tho

at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other

as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair

he lets you play in his hair

don’t tell ANYONE

he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks

you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly

he’s all yours after that

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!

and yes he lets you play with it :)

you get to put it into all types of styles!!

especially since it’s a decent length!

not really interested in playing in your hair

he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair

if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well

thats one thing he will forever reciprocate

loves your humor

no matter the type

but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes

youve seen him smile before 💖

warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him

not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons

yall got bigger problems

dismisses anytime you degrade yourself

he be speaking facts

”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”

”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”

no? you goofy goober so why does it matter

don’t argue him on this

genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt

by him or someone else

dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun

even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye

real loyal partner

as loyal to you as he is the troupe

you and the troupe are his forever commitments

no matter what he could never stop loving you

you guys practically never argue

hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway

thing is he compensates with you💗

if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it

also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone

he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings

would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not

also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen

only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety

your safety is definitely on his priority list

truly cares about and loves you

enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM

thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡

[mazzystar24]

exactly! i wanted to like tommy tbh i liked him in 703 and 704. 705 was meh to me. i couldnt really find it in myself to care because the entire episode was about buck freaking out about telling eddie. 706 just made me ???? because of the bachelor party scenes. like why are we having the new bf dismiss buck at every turn while eddie is all in if they want us to root for this man. he wouldve had to change at work anyway so why didnt he dress up. then again in 709 he’s just shooting down bucks joy with the “enjoy it while it lasts” thing and then we already discussed 710. like sure buck made it a bit jokey but then tommy sounded completely serious when he said “no i dont. i hope you do though!” im someone who’s very sarcastic in her own humor and i couldnt tell he was joking. like i get that they want tommy to be snarky or whatever but something about it just falls flat for me. some of the comments he makes feel like stuff he shouldn’t feel comfortable saying yet to someone he’s only started seeing in the past couple months.

also the evan thing confuses me because lou said on cameo the script supervisor told him he isnt allowed to call buck ‘buck’. i wonder if thatll ever be addressed in s8 because that feels weird to me. especially since buck has insisted people call him buck in the past but idk if thats even anything to actually think about. like im not sure if the writers just dont know what to do with this man or if they’re actually writing him to be a short term thing. its so easy to add depth to their relationship and open up a chance to be vulnerable but they either choose not to entirely or give those moments to eddie -birthmark anon

NO SAME LIKE I AM DOWN FOR RIVAL LOVE INTERESTS TO MY SHIPS IF THEYRE WRITTEN WELL

I WAS MID TYPING I HOPE YOU DONT SEE THIS YET

Like I made a whole post about how the show bones had Hannah and she was the best and the way they wrote her made her GENUINELY likeable

And 911 couldve pulled that off so easily with Tommy but just keep choosing not to??? Like they are making (imo) very intentional writing choices that just don’t develop him or bucktommy very well when they could literally just NOT make those choices like they’re fully in control so while these things are realistic and can have good explanations the writers are intentionally choosing to include them and write them a specific way

Like idk about you but if I wanted people to aim for my couple I would go about it VERY differently

[bioethicists]

hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.

to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.

anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.

first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.

part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.

i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.

however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.

all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.

another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.

ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.

[tomystars]

dissecting episode 1

(under the microscope. im mostly dissecting jaewon hes so interesting to study as a queer person myself, smiles)

ignoring the very first clip which shows waves and someone grabbing someone else... a bit confusing i dont have many thoughts about this.

ANYWAY ! we first see jaewon sitting on a couch in a office perhaps? with an aquarium (we see this again on the intro of episode 2 and if you see the trailer theres a close up of his face on the same place as well) and a women sits down in front of him and asks him what his worries are. now i cant make much sense of her behaviour cause she suddenly starts laughing? but id think shes some sort of counselor. now this could be for 2 reasons: one. he just left the military after finishing his mandatory time and it might be a thing they do? or two some other reason we dont know most likely. TRAUMA shocking i know.

then we have the restaurant scene. we see jaewon talking with his friends but his face changes when his friends keeps talking about how jaewon has a great life and connections and money and everything he wants and i dont want to state the obvious but... thats clearly not the case which is why we can see jaewon upset with the conversation even though he doesnt say anything about it and even forgives his friend... his relationship with his parents is most likely not the best and we can see that by the messages his mom sends and the way we can just see him in front of his gate but not getting inside.

then. their first real scene. jaewon asks jihyun for a cigarette he goes and grabs TWO which surprises jaewon a little bit and makes him happier probably because thats different not a lot of people would do that. they talk but its very casual like and somehow jaewon mentions a "동생" and gets real quiet, as if something had happened with that person. now, its translated as "younger brother/sister" because thats the only english word that it can translate to EVEN THOUGH (and im saying this as someone with very limited korean language knowledge) its not the most correct one because its just a word that people use to call someone whos younger than them (yes siblings count lol). so is he talking about a younger sibling or someone else? who knows.

when his friends grab him to go home he leaves but he isnt expecting for jihyun to just grab his hand and give him a lighter (it was such an intimate scene as well, very queer coded) and THATS what caught jaewons attention. because at first he was just making conversation, but that small moment changed how the path of their futures (hope im not getting too philosophical), and he even stopped and looked as jihyun left.

fast foward next day, jihyun sees jaewon and goes afterhim but loses him and finds the poster for free bird instead (soulmatism i say). and its at this point i realize i havent spoken much abour jihyun so ill start now. we know hes a small town boy, isnt used to such a big city like seoul and is even confused with all this new stuff hes seeing. thats how jaewon and him are different. to me, jihyuns fear is based on unfamiliarity and the unknown, hes still getting to know all these new things that hes never known before and thats why he later mentions that thats the reason he signed up for the surf club. he doesnt really know how to swim but he wants to try and face this new challenge onwards. jaewons fear is more rooted on past experiences and trauma is my guess. he knows who he is but hes scared or hes scared of the result if he tries something. i think its going to start to get better the more he gets to know jihyun and the more he gets comfortable with him.

the cafeteria. jihyuns eating alone and jaewon is suddenly there and thanking him for the other day (he means it. that second cigarette probably was everything to him at that time) and starts to get a bit bold with him, and asking him why he didnt call and at this point there are so many jihyun reactions where you can just tell how this type of relationship is new to him but also how he wants to explore it and find out where it takes him.

we can see that when he meets jaewon again outside the restaurant and says "if we're going to be friends we need to know each others names" and jaewons truly gets a bit paralysed? confused? about it, he wasnt expecting jihyung to say something like that. tells him his name and leaves.

going a bit back, jaewon is at the same restaurant again. why? because he remembered that it was the restaurant jihyuns worked at and he convinced his friends to go inside with some excuse only to look for jihyun but... he wasnt there. things start to go downhill when his friends mention his ex who he wants to have nothing to do with and just wants to forget and one of them even invites her over! some friend he is... jaewon gets reasonably upset (ill talk about what i think happened with the break up on the ep2 essay bare with me), leaves and jihyun goes after him. in this scene i dont think jaewon is upset with him but it was a mixture of a lot of things, disappointment from not seeing jihyun when he was the reason he went to the restaurant in the first place, anger at his supposed friend inviting his ex who he doesnt like and thats why he says "i didnt see you earlier" with this really empty sort of expression.

and lastly, the very last scene. he sits with jihyun for two reasons: be away from his ex but also because he genuinely wants to continue whatever this relationship with jihyun is. it makes him happy and its different and GOOD something that he doesnt have a lot going around his life...

yea... thats it. my thoughts are all scattered but yea lets talk about it if u want i have so much to say still and i want to hear what everyone else is thinking and i also want to mention how much i love this already it was hook line sinker the first episode it. it just feels so raw and perfect and so queer coded to which is why i want to kind of gatekeep it from people who are just watching bc its u know... a bl (will i be persecuted like the witches used to by saying this... hm)

the playlist is so good as well been on repeat for hours

[pilotheather]

we're back

youre trying so fucking hard to set up this unit spin off. im going to be horribly honest with you: i dont really care, and i think this is such a corny way to do it. i think torchwood (the show) is something people see with rose-tinted glasses a lot of the time, but i do think its slower introduction to the characters, completely isolated to its own tv show, made more sense. i feel like this weird vibe of just setting up these big personalities who all neatly fit into the exact archetypes you'd Expect... i dont know. i dont care for any of them. i love big weird non human robot-adjacent entities and i dont even care. and that fucker has cable-like tentacles too. i should be sold.

i think its also cuz they are like so obviously these Scifi archetypes for shows like this which is fine but leading first with a quickfire round of rather than getting a softer introduction to them just sort ofmakes them feel like fake cartoons. i think thats sorta why ive never truly warmed to paternoster gang too.

like i think my issue - and im welcome to be proved wrong, whenever we do get this unit spinoff - is i feel like its leading with the idea of "i want a spinoff" first rather than an attempt to fill a specific niche or hole for stories. i feel like sja and torchwood were both very specifically shows that would be in the universe, but would cater to things that would not suit the proper show, and had their own cast driving it.

like i'll be honest i like kate but ummmm im not sure i like her enough to follow her into a spin off. LOL.

sorry thats my hater era over im 2 seconds in

oh no nevermind i also hate big budget takes itself too seriously bullshit wheres the losers

is rose still meant to be like 15. her in business casual for the day job at unit.

okay The Vlinx.

WHYS THERE A LITTLE BEEFCAKE SECURITY GUARD. IS HE LIKE YOUR LITTLE BOYTOY, UNIT? sorry hes not even my typ. harriets really cute though

sorery i still dgaf

rtd and his anagrams. christ.

ive been laughing all day about a reddit comment that said "rtd is a" and i cant stop laughing at it and i dont know anyone who will find that funny in my life so i cant even

WHY ARE THEY JUST FUCKING

SORRY THATS SO FUNNY THEY WERE LIKE LETS QUICKFIRE ADDRESS THE STUPID MYSTERY BOXES. SUSAN. TARDIS... S TRIAD.... SUSAN AGAIN.

i really fucking hope it isnt susan. people have said it before but i just feel like ive always liked the idea of jsut leaving her be. dont revisit it. its fine.

sorry help me why are they just pulling everything out help me

i feel like theyre trying to be too meta about it and not in like a clever way its just like a lets state the obvious to everyoneits that vclassic TELLING NO SHOWING that i feel like christ it keeps ... feeling like the writing is doing that so much

CAN ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW NCUTI LOOKS IN THE LEATHER JACKET BTW?

soery its like not even 10 minutes in and im like already feeling like a hater i just i dont know i feel like so im fine with them cashing in on nostalgia and being a bit self aware in finales sometimes but i feel like this and then the trilogy last year... LOOK most dw finales and special eps of the nu era are kind of rooted in some sort of classic right its like dalek dalek cyberman master dalek lets go to gallifrey for this one but its like still at least one thing sorry im sick of it i dont wanna see mel any more i dont wanna be in unit CAN WE FOLLOW THE DOCTOR AND RUBY see them figuring it out PLEAAASEEE they can point out its obvious its fine but the fucking round table discussion

SORRY I KNOW ITS BEEN THE HOT TOPIC ITS LIKE THE WAY THIS SEASON HAS GONE TOO FAST CUZ ID SAY A LOT OF THE EPS WERE GOOD IN THE END BUT ITS LIKE SO MANY OF THEM WERE TOO HARD DEPARTURES FROM WHAT WE REALLY NEED WHICH IS JUST

TIME WITH RUBY AND THE DOCTOR . PLEASE.

nevermind i love mel on the moped

ugh ive been wanting a bike for so long but i keep hjearing about so many accidents i wanna kms in a controlled environment

my second thought btw: i think one of my favourite season finales will always be s4's. and yes that does also bank on this big, lets have ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COME TOGETHER!!! and have one huge crossover event even if the story isnt as good. but as ivealways said: that works because its earned through four seasons of building up all of those individual characters. it can stand on that legwork thats already been done. i just dgaf otherwise. its why, and maybe this is controversial, i can never give a shit about a good man goes to war. (although i also loathe that because that storyline does my fucking HEAD IN)

im also hating this so hard im not even far enough in sorry i just love to hateeeeeeeeeee

help e christ if it wasnt for reddit i would not fucking recognise anyones fucking face is hat the same woman i mean rby also isnt clocking her does she have some fucking perception filter on . missus flood what is up with you

missus flood what even is wrong with you

"why did you never go back to see her?"

because susan was lowkey annoying af

SORRY

SORRY WOMEN

i also do wanna know: if hes mentioned her face popping up a lot, are they not scanning their fucking databases for matches. like thats definitely technology they have. lets be so for real

AGAIN SORRY THE OTHE RTHING I HATE ABOUT IT IS THE TIME SINK IT IS GREAT LETS HAVE OUR INTRODUCTIONS AND HAPPY WOOPEEEES AND MEETING THE TEN BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE WE'RE BRINGING ALONG WHEN THEYRE REALLY NOT ENRICHING THE EPISODE AND ITS JUST WEARING EVERYTHING SO THIN DUDE COME ON OH WAIT HANG ON LETS INTERRUPT THE FLOW AGAIN TO BRING IN SOMEONE ELSE AND STOP IT!! EEEENOUGH!

(again with the way s4 finale was handled: i think it was really good the way they had everyone sort of... separated out? they had them all cleanly following their own plots. so it didnt make shit a fucking mess.)

caralas literally chill w can bring carla

Do you have a time window. Ten floors down. classic shit.

i think i also ironically did i say this bit already i fucking hate trying to do big... sci-fi organisations like this trying to fight the aliens or villains or whatever. sorry just a taste thing. like compare this to how torchwood was presented in s2. it just feels like we're thriving in it and im not a fan of them being our unapologeticbesties we swing around and giggle with. can we get some nasty fucking vibes in here please. i loved when capaldi was a cunt with them.

this is also why i refuse to ever engage with the avengers content

christmas eve 2004. god shesso young. (im 4 years older literally).

sorry i also hate mystery box companion bullshit fuck off can we not just get some cunt from the local

SORRY I JUST THINK RTD FINALES ARE SO BADLY CAMP SOMETIMES

i keep thinking about how she looks like jodie i think its the boots with the ankles sort of poking out

thats my bad aura sorry i was hating too hard

NOT THE BOYTOYS

THEYRE PICKING OFF THE BOYTOYS

theres that irony again of like they'll sit there and do a whle bit like haha duh ofc we know its an anagram DUHHH but then half the dialogue is just fucking . SAYING SHIT STRAIGHTFORWARD AND OUTRIGHT SHUT UP

hes in hell. god damn it. i hate it when i lose my boytoys and he ends up in hell

imagine if this was the beast from the satans pit

what a hilarious hater moment that would be

sorry now I- UMMMMM THE BOYTOY IS DUSTTT AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

colonel winston is making me giggle. lke the monkey. guys i dont know anything abou overwatch but that monkey makes me laugh

guys we're on susan watch

shes going to be the dumbest red herring ever isnt she amen shes just nothing please rtd you fuckerr- DOCTOR CALM DOWN

CAN WE GET HIM A FUCKING STIM TOY

CAN WE GET HIM A BLUEBERRY MATCHA

CAN WE GET HIM SOMETHING TO COPE WITH

so cool we brought an image of this thing up before and it wrecked our shit lets do it again hell yeah come on

harriet i need you

SHES NOT HER ITS SO FUNNY

EVERYU TIME SOME CRAZY BITCH NAMED SUSAN APPEARS DO YOU DO THIS.

BRO DOES THAT MEAN THESE GIRLIES WRE CONNECTED HELP ME IMAGINE IF THAT WAS SUSAN AND NOW SHES JUST STUCK WITH THE FUCKING MEMORIES OF RAISING LINDY. COME ON SUSAN. BREAK THE FUCKING TRAUMA CYCLE. YOU DIDNT NEED TO RAISE HER LIKE THAT MAN.

can we get the tardis a ginger ale

THAT FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE BEING A FAKEOUT FOR A FUCKING RUBY SUNDAY THIS WHOLE THING IS A TV SHOW SHTICK IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

SUSAN TRIAD DOING THIS IN AN EMPTY CROWD IS SO FUNNY

SUSAN TRIAD YOU HAVE TO GET IT TOGETHER GIRL THEY'LL BE CLIPPING BITS OF THIS ON TWITTER

the king innit

HARRIET ARBINGERRRRRR YESSSSSSS

SLAYYYYYYYY

NEVERMIND THAT BIT GOT ME A PRETTY WOMAN WILL GET ME SOOO EASY

TRICKSTER MENTION IS INSANE

her children doubt and dreaddddd so silly

WHOS THIS HATER

SUTEKH

THATS SO FUCKINGH FUNNY

HUNDREDS OF REDDITORSARE PUNCHING THE AIR. MAYBE EVEN TENS

I LOVE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT

SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH RUBY

HELP ME I SPENT SO LONG BEING A HATER I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SUTEKH SORRY CLASSIC FANS

ANYWAYS

[franciskirkland]

Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

[maluinks]

I only know taylor swift as someone who sucks ass at writing lyrics, what are the banger lyrics im missing??

lmao i totally get that. I think it will always be a bit of a personal preference thing, just like some ppl love some writing styles which others cant stand, same with lyrics.

I personally love the lyric writing that tells a good story i can see in my head, and the song creates an atmosphere which you can touch and even smell. I think Taylor's strength is in her storytelling, which shines through especially in folklore and evermore. I personally love "seven" ("Please picture me/In the weeds/Before I learned civility/I used to scream ferociously"), august ("To live for the hope of it all/Cancel plans just in case you'd call"), peace ("Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"), "illicit affairs" ("Leave the perfume on the shelf/That you picked out just for him/So you leave no trace behind/Like you don't even exist"), "champagne problems" ("Sometimes you just don't know the answer/'Til someone's on their knees and asks you"), "cowboy like me" ("Perched in the dark/Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear/Like it could be love/I could be the way forward/Only if they pay for it"), "'tis the damn season" ("We could call it even/You could call me babe for the weekend/'Tis the damn season, write this down/I'm stayin' at my parents' house/And the road not taken looks real good now"), "ivy" ("Oh, goddamn/My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/Taking mine, but it's been promised to another/Oh, I can't/Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/My house of stone, your ivy grows/And now I'm covered in you").

Now every album she releases has its misses and its hits. I don't love "Lover" that much bc it's a bit too happy poppy for me, though the song "Lover" itself tells a very palpable feeling. Other songs I like are "All Too Well" ("And you call me up again just to break me like a promise/So casually cruel in the name of being honest"), "Dear John" ("Long were the nights when/My days once revolved around you/Counting my footsteps/Praying the floor won't fall through again"), "Back to December" ("It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you/Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine"), "The Story of Us" ("I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how/I never heard silence quite this loud"), "Clean" ("Ten months sober, I must admit/Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it"), "Begin Again" ("And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid/I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did"), "Don't Blame Me" ("Don't blame me, love made me crazy/If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right/Lord, save me, my drug is my baby/I'll be usin' for the rest of my life"), "Delicate" ("We can't make any promises/Now can we, babe?/But you can make me a drink").

Now many people have been dissing the latest album's cringey lyrics for a while, and while I hate them too (god the vigilante one is such a skip its unreal), i actually like some songs with cringey lyrics. "Anti-hero" really grew on me bc it's Taylor self-analising and talking about how she is her own worst critic, which is something we all experience, and I think she made it in a fun self-deprecating way in the song that still delivers the message. other songs in the album which i love and dont have those kinds of cringe lines are "you're on your own, kid" ("'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned/Everything you lose is a step you take"), "Lavander Haze" ("The only kind of girl they see (only kind of girl they see)/Is a one-night or a wife"), "High Infidelity" ("Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?/Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?"), "Would've, Could've, Should've" ("If I was some paint, did it splatter/On a promising grown man?/And if I was a child, did it matter/If you got to wash your hands?") (tbh I love all the lyrics in this song it's my fave atm).

Sorry for the long post! I really feel like Taylor's best lyrics are hidden away in her albums many times, but I do get how she gets called a good lyricist, because she is good at telling stories in them. I believe many people look at her stuff from a biased perspective most of the time bc of the way the media has portrayed her in part, and also bc she got a lot of hate from misogynists when she was young and it stayed around as mindless hate/disregard. She isnt the greatest ever but she's earned her reputation as a lyricist imo.

[lovebvni]

confession sunday — i feel like a fake christian

hi!! so i rlly wanted to start making confessions on my blog as a way to let go and put down the thoughts and feelings im having. most of them r toxic and things i shouldn’t be thinking.

this is also an invitation for others to send their issues and let them go and put them down — simply tell me what it is and i’ll try n break it down to explain to u why u need to let go of those ideas! ofc, anons r opened <3

anyways, let’s get into mine bc.. yeah.

i feel like a fake christian.

this is something i’ve been struggling with my whole life — but it is resurfaced when i had a conversation w my friends abt witchcraft n the bible n whatnot. she said something along the lines of “you’re not a christian because you believe witchcraft is okay.”

first of all… what? right before this my other friend said “a lot of people in the bible pick and choose what they believe. for example — christian’s aren’t allowed to eat seafood bc it’s seen as impure” and the same girl from earlier agreed n said “i still love my crab legs” 💀 LMDAOOA

im friends w everyone mentioned in this convo btw, so dont worry. no hate to any of them.

during this conversation, i js agreed with the one, let’s call her sarah, that said believing witchcraft is okay makes me not a christian.

sarah made me feel bad — invalidated in a way. i remember walking out that class feeling fake, like i am wrong for what i believe and i need to remove everything that isn’t said in the most common places in the bible from my life.

FALSE ❌❌ WRONG ❌❌ INCORRECT ❌❌ SEE ME AFTER CLASS.

DUDE TO BE A CHRISTIAN U ONLY HAVE TO DO TWO THINGS

1 believe jesus christ died for our sins and rose again (some say jesus christ only died and rose again)

2 have a RELATIONSHIP with christ

if it isn’t clear already, i have both of these. i’ve known and believed the stories ik the bible since i was so young, and even now i believe them.

and i have a deep rooted relationship w jesus n god — i mean how the hell do u think i even found out abt other deities 😭 about shifting?? through him dude! it’s only by him answering my prayers that im here rn

what im trying to say is that the “normal” isnt always right. i hate churches — they feel like cults, nd i hate when ppl say ur required to do things — ur not. it’s if u want to and between u n god.

i said this to my friend nile earlier — “but like christianity is supposed to be individuality — it always has been that way. hell, even jesus says it. he flipped tables in a religious place bc they don’t have a relationship w god, they r js acting”.

they didn’t want it — they just wanted to b superior. and that’s not what i want — i want to help others and be happy.

that’s it for my confession. i hope this helps and encourages someone else to begin doing the same! sending my love.

[usertoxicyaoi]

ill be honest with you faiza. i truly dont want be negative but i dont think sungho will ever choose junseong. even if he says hes indecisive between him and seonwoo, he'll always choose seonwoo in the end as long as he keeps giving him any hope. and im not saying sungho doesnt like junseong, they clearly get along so well, even if nothing else happens their relationship as friends or something else makes my heart warm, anyone can see it, but he keeps saying that since he's never had a chance to be on a date with him he doesn't know but they've been together so many times... they were roommates too...

it breaks my heart because you can see that since the beginning junseong has never lied and has never jumped between people. his heart has always been in the same direction and he has never played with anyones feelings, truthfully he's i think the only person, or at least the one i respect the most in that house.

you can also see that he himself has no hopes either, he's like "i dont think he'll choose me but ill pursue him anyway because that's just how much i like and feel for him". there's also that scene where he cries and i know the trailer is edited in a way where the context for most scenes is all wrong but... to see him cry, i can tell it's not because of something good. i hate to see someone im rooting for going after someone that might never show any interest in them, it hurts a bit to see. (this is not me hating on sungho!! love that cutie but i just dont know...i know he's not trying to be hurtful on purpose its just how these things are)

i try to not get involved in dating shows because these things never go well but maybe its because im queer too and i feel different about a dating show dedicated to queer people. and maybe its also because i just feel for junseong and i just want him to be happy but im truly nervous about the next episodes... im sorry to just write so much about this to you but i started watching this because of you so you should feel responsible!

hiiii anon!!!

oh anon, i know what you mean. i truly do love junsung from the bottom of my heart. he's from one of the few people who have just. remained true and genuine. and its how much he likes sungho and how clear as day he is about it, but at the same time, never putting any stress or pressure on sungho. he's so selfless but will stand his ground and is determined and its everything you'd want.

and i get what u mean. theres this fear that all seunwoo has to do is give an inch and sungho will go to him. and that might happen. but, as of now, sungho said in ep 7 that he feels equally for them both. truth is it hurt seeing just how stressed sungho looked tbh. he doesnt want to hurt anyone with the decisions he makes and none of it comes from a place of malice.

but i also wanna say that sungho isnt naive. he isnt stupid. he clearly can read seunwoo and junsung and their body language so well. he observes it all. and he's starting to notice seunwoo for the people pleaser that he is. and at some point sungho's got to make that call of what it is he wants to go for, but he isnt stupid. so, yeah, i havent given up hope on 2sung just yet, not at all. we're only halfway through the show!

what we are all certain on is that junsung will keep fighting till the end for sungho's affection.

and i also feel like saying that, yeah, the phonecalls are a huge part of the show, but they arent the be all and end all. i know we're all, just like junsung, waiting for sungho to choose junsung and ring him, but there's so so much sungho has done and shown outside of that that shows his feelings towards junsung. and i think that matters just as much. the notes, the choosing junsung as his roommate again, all the little things in episode 7 between them, there is so much warmth and genuine affection sungho has towards junsung too. and that keeps junsung going, makes it worth it bc sungho is giving something back to him too.

of course, its sungho's call to make at the end of the day, but i wouldnt get disheartened just yet!

[sungbeam]

hi beam :33 i am here to shower you with love!!

1. i feel like i have so much fave fics from you, particularly the love in unity series but i do think party people and off the record hold special places in my heart <3 i remember when i first read off the record </3 like i feel like i dont express it ENOUGH but it was around the time i was very disconnected from tbz... and somehow ur fic really just PUSHED ME to write and post... and after that, reading party people really just reassured me that yea deobiblr is back!! going back to tbz is what i need to do!!!

6. kind of transitioning to this, i remember vividly reading ur fic in a starbucks because i was waiting for grentperez's concert here and literally my friend was just watching me REACT TO THE FIRST PART. i was literally telling her "oh mygod i am BACK IN DEOBILAND" BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD?!??!?! I FEEL LIKE IT WAS JUST A REMINDER OF MY BIGGER DEOBI DAYS U KNOW and im back stronger than ever

8. i just love ur plots in general. im very much a big fan of just not romance-centered media in general and i really love all the details you put into ur fics esp with the reader and the boyz themselves!!! like for me, it means so much that they have their own arcs/stories!! esp as a big fan of slow burn and just character development I LOVE IT!!!

11. i am hoping for some more jacob fics.... HELP i am just so crazy in my jacob delusions and i know i dont need to ask for more jichang ones bc i rest easy knowing u and i are the biggest kyubodans

13. i talk abt u and ur works so much to my besties actually :') my besties are big caratdeobis so i always recommend ur works to them

i love you beam! you always inspire me tbh :') so glad i got to know you and i am always rooting for u!!! so excited for what else you have in store for us

moni, my lovely, thank u so much for your words, both here and in prose <3

raaaaah !!! it always means so much to me to hear that i was able to inspire u out of ur writing slump :')) i def know how that feels,,, getting into the boyz and p1h was what got /me/ out of my writing slump and i somehow whipped up party people 💀 im just really happy that i was able to find more of deobiblr or maybe even inspire deobis to come out from hibernation w that fic skfnkenfkf

LOL starbucks is like my writing place half the time istg 😭😭😭 omg you reading otr in a starbucks makes me so skcnkrnf im like jumping around in excitement cuz idek !! and pls (´Д⊂ヽ im crying im really really happy that my fics could haul you back to deobiblr cuz we wouldn't be the same without you 🫂 and thank u for always reccing my stuff to friends !! it means the absolute world to me, i get do tender-feeling :'))

and pls, ik u of all people would def appreciate the non-romantic arcs !! i really do enjoy creating and developing friendships and outside relationships—it just adds an extra layer to the fic besides just the romance itself 🤧 and omg i promise i'll get more cobie content out >< the other day i was thinking of posting drabbles of this one au i had written for him, so whenever i don't have a new fic to post, you'll def see it 😎

i love you moni, thank u again for all ur support and love 💖

[reikunrei]

i mean this in the absolute kindest way possible, but i read your update on your gofundme post and it seems like someone in your family may be very seriously mismanaging your money? i cannot fathom a landlord allowing you to be 9 months behind on rent without evicting you, but even so, your gofundme page indicates that your state minimum wage is $15.50/hr, which means that with 3 full-time incomes, even if your dad only works 10 hours a week and you pay 30% in taxes (which you almost certainly dont), you should all still be bringing in about $5500 a month. the numbers just... dont really make a lot of sense, since you should be making just enough to pay the rent, and to be $45k in debt just in rent payments, your landlords would have had to let you underpay them by thousands of dollars a month for years or let you stay there without paying them at all for 9 months. im not suggesting that youre lying about the situation, but seeing your post made me really concerned that someone in your family might be really misrepresenting the financial situation to you. i hope you can figure it all out, im sure this must be incredibly stressful for you. please be well.

it's a bit of a tricky situation and i def don't have all of the info bc my parents are really cagey about telling me everything. we did have an agreement with the landlords and we were underpaying them for basically the last 3 years. they've been (surprisingly) gracious with us all this time

i am concerned that there's some sort of money mismanagement that's happening, and i really don't want to go into details, but i've been learning tonight that this has been a much longer issue than i've been aware of. like, not just something that happened because of covid, it was just made much, much worse/kickstarted again by my dad losing his job (which was really well-paying)

thank you for the kind words, i'm sure we'll figure something out, but it's just something that my whole family has to sit down and talk about. hopefully we can get to the root of the problem and cut it out completely

[rotisseries]

the next cut is . after hours of walking. "these tunnels go on forever and we've been down here for hours." <- theo. "no real news from the  last time you said it 20 minutes ago." "i wasnt doubting thr plan 20 minutes ago." "if you're so concerned just go. i mean no ones forcing you to stay here." "yeah and leave you and our 'army' in charge of my survival? dont think so." "whatever it takes just to save your own ass, and just nobody elses." which is objectively not true. saved liam. saved scott. "im Here arent i? .. maybe i wanna be in the pack." he sounds so hopeful and . well. after he says that mason slows down and theo doesnt realize at first and looks back at him bc he walked past and mason js like "yeah Right. you-you expect me to believe that? " and hes breathinf HARD. he feels strongly about this "a pack js about trust.  i mean the first thing youd do is figure out a way to kill all of us. and and it doesnt matter who forgets. i wont." his hand is shaking on his bat in anger and fear and also because his leg got shot and its killing him and mason says "i saw scotts mom. i saw what you did. and as much as im terrified of whats down here, i am way more terrified of turning my back on you." excuse me while i wipe a tear. theo looks so hurt when he says that and his hands start shaking and he hadn't really shown any physical signs of fear until then. and then he shifts and tackles mason to the ground and its NOT what you think. HE WAS SCARED BC THE ANUK ITE WAS NEAR AND HE KNEW IT. HE SENSED IT. AS SOON AS HE TACKLED MASON , AARON SHOWED UP BESIDE THEM AND SWUNG A PIPE OR SUM WHERE MASONS FACE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. he probably noticed his fear along with masons because of what he was saying and how hard he was shaking and sweating and . his voice cracking and . yeah. say what u want about theo but never say he's not perceptive. idk why i said that thats like one of the first things u learn ab the guy. core character trait. 

i need to talk about mason saying "and and it doesnt matter who forgets. i wont." because i know hes talking about liam. mason knows theo and liam are close now. in a way. liam is his best friend he knows why he was okay with mason leaving and being alone with theo. yeah sure he can handle himself but he knows liam sees theo's different now. masons not saying hes not. hes saying he's not going to let it go. that its something he cant erase no matter who he gets to trust him. BECAUSE HE KNOWS LIAM IS STARTING TO TRUST HIM AGAIN. (MAYBE EVEN REALIZES THAT THEO IS IS LIAMS ANCHOR) AND THIS IS WHY MASON HAVING THIS DEEP ROOTED FEAR AND HATRED FOR THEO IS SO BAD. theo knows thats his best friend!!!!!!!!! that no matter how theo acts now for years and years no matter how much he helps and sticks by liam, mason will never approve. because its him!!!!! and that fucking sucks. the CLOSEST PERSON TO LIAM besides scott!!!! literally like your boyfriends best friend telling you you'll never be good enough for them. that you will never be good. basically what happened. i can get worse tho. just a little bit.

shovel talk!!

[exoticalmonde]

Two new runs and I actually did more terrible than ever, but lessons learned. This is what I get for not paying enough attention to my own accomplishments and instead asking to be aided constantly.

Traps from Trap Masters do not, in fact, 'see' there are enemies coming and let them just walk through. Maybe I shouldn't have pi ked the option that gives me random chips for operators when I cant even plan ahead on the ones I pick myself.

Same goes for the Sobbing Doggo...

Just what I needed, Jessica bleeds out profusely like a pricked water baloon.

Well, I died in the second floor...

New run!

I know it will be better because Ebenholz is with me in spirit.

Well now I know I'm being set up too, this is rediculous. I got the other mini boss map 4 times in a row and now you decided 'Haha, Eve got used to it, might as well spice it up!'

I forgot they need to be killed at the same time to die.

THAT'S SO FUNNY SJSKSJZISK

We're taking it with us.

This is where I die. The wrath of Siracusans got to me.

But hey, at least I finally got enough materials to M3S3 my fav little Aegir so he could become viable in the upcoming events. Can't believe the skip between lvl60 and lvl80 was of significance, leveling up 6 stars I dont actually consider husbands feels like a waste, like E2ing 5 stars.

But then again my first lvl90 M9 was Ebenholz maybe 4 or 5 months ago and now it's Chongyue's turn... Right after I finish Ling. Who is Lvl 60 and I'm just waiting for that sweet trust 100 to be able to get her Module so the dragons don't cost 24DP

And because farming today was good, Ifrit is gonna be the next target for E2, just in case.

Hope Dr. Pinkie doesn't yell at me to level her up. Shining is doing such a good job at E2 lvl1 you can't possibly blame me for doubting.

And speaking of doubt,

I have this very fun story from yesterday. You see, Dr. Kryo is a very intelligent and good friend. We've spent a lot of time together and we learn from each other. A lot of definitely good things have been learned yesterday.

I learn he is too lucky for his own good and might be mooching out of our collective luck bucket because this is rediculous.

He learns that I am a whiny little apricot.

Because I had a dream that same evening I got Silverash from now here. I adore Silverash and he was definitely on the priority list of people I want rewlly really badly. Something something big brother sindrome happening in my head.

Anyways, I wake up and Im sad it's not a reality. I tell the chat, then bring it up again with Kryo. I really want Silverash, Gnosis, Stainless. I think these are the ones I don't have yet from the 6-stars.

He falls silent.

I hear the sound: tintintintintinting!

I fall silent.

Me: "Who is that, Kryo?"

Kryo: "Eve..."

Me, voice cracking: "Go on. Which 6 star is that?"

It was GNOSIS.

What a premonition.

We hope I lose the rolls on the Monster Hunter banner though and I get one of the husbands + Noir Cornealter since that is the one I'm rooting for.

I think the next banner is Guiding ahead so I have time to save up some more. Get the medals, get a little spike on the originium crystals because I have plans for skins and only 14 of those golden boys in my pocket.

...

Lumen Module time!

His story is so adorable actually. As adorable as it can be with the reminder at the end that Iberia is not having a fun time. Why do the worst cataclysms always happen to the most advanced counties? Reminds me of that one meme of a poster that said: 'Don' t eat in the library, it attracts ants. And if they are in the library they will learn to read, become smart and take over the world.'