#im really hoping this is the updated one :( tumblr kept shitting out on me when i was trying to edit this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kurtmustdie · 1 year ago

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i have a lot of unorganized miguel headcanons that float around my brain at times but since i usually think of them at night and forget about them the next morning im just going to continuously update this post probably? anyway here are the ones that i do remember

i will either leave this in my drafts and update it when i want to or ill just edit/reblog with new stuff idk

edit after i stopped typing:

ok its time

fuck you

posts

identity headcanons first, because idk getting those out of the way feel free to get pissed off about these ill just block you 💖

trans man. he/him pronouns. probbably doesnt care if you use gender neutral terms for him because like... why would he, he has a multiverse to stare at

asexual, can't really figure out of i see him as being aromantic as well, i personally just think he's too busy to think about it atm but i dont think hes incapable of it. maybe arospec, like demiro or greyro or smth idk, i just know this mf is asexual.

he is autistic (and probably undiagnosed?) i will die on this hill as if i was a warrior cat defending the sunningrocks i will commit an oakheart fight me on this and i will throw rocks at you and then promptly get crushed by rocks as well (is that warrior cats spoilers um oops sorry)

now to the rest- that i remember- i have not read the comics yet so if some of these are like.. actually canon lmk because that would be really funny

this one might be a hot take but he does not hate miles. he wants to look out for him and definitely either currently regrets or is going to regret what happened in that chase scene. i genuinely doubt he hates any of the spider-gang hes just very, very worried about the multiverse. in his head thats the only way. (i am hoping and pleading that miguel and miles make up somehow, maybe miles doesnt forgive miguel and that totally understandable and would make sense but pLEASE writers i would die if you kept them as being rivals i genuinely would)

he hates Audrey Hepburn, fangoria, harry houdini, AND croquet. he CAN swim, he CAN dance, and he DOES know Karate. he still wont make it though. sorry man.

since hes from the future i dont think he'd be terribly confused by current slang/terms, hed more look at it like we see terms from like... the 80-90s or anything before that as "oh wow people used to say that? huh. interesting."

im going back on a headcanon ive had since i saw the movie im SoRRYYY but he cant curse. from what ive seen from the comics he uses replacements like "shock" and "bithead", thats it. maybe he says fuck on accident or in spanish (he technically kind of does depending on how you see "Ay Coño" being said but thats beside the point).

probably a blue eyes hater idk he just gives me the vibe of saying "jesus christ your eyes are way too blue, get contacts please im begging you stop looking at me" which is probably why him and gwen have so much beef.

i dont give a shit about what the movie says his fangs are not retractable fuck you. (he still has crooked teeth though i will never forget about those <3 )

autism be damned my guy can work a grill 🔥🔥🔥🔥

a lot of people cant really tell if hes pissed or not by his tone sometimes. is this projection? yeah, next question.

he hardly ever sleeps but when he does its like hes dead (at least when its dead quiet, which again, isnt often so he hardly ever gets a good nights sleep). you'd have to use a fucking blowtorch to the face to wake him up.

i also see him as not only having hypersensitive vision but also having elevated senses period. hearing, smell, touch, etc. probably the main reason he sits in the dark with no other noise.

branching off of that he frequently gets migraines of things get to stressful or too loud or if anything is very off about his schedule.

arachnophobe. ha.

cat person.

cat person as in he likes cats not like hes a catboy.. i shouldnt specify that actually that just makes it worse but i will anyway because tumblr hellsite will be tumblr hellsite

he partially likes lego peter because his daughter really liked lego.

ok but like think about it he'd probably be really good at taking legos apart with those claws. like imagine. it'd be nothing for him.

hasnt spoken to gabriel in years. he cant bring himself to reach out and when gabriel does he just doesnt have the energy to try and respond. he has no idea how to, especially now.

this is very specific but he stims a lot with his claws. like extend and retract over and over absentmindedly (mainly because thats what i'd do if i had claws imagine how fun that would be)

he usually bottles up all the emotions that he has, including anger. kind of explains why he lost it in the chase scene in my head because he reached a boiling point. he hates talking to people about his problems.

empanadas are his safe food, also theyre just easy to eat when your mouth is a little funky (i would know i have some fucked up braces theyre great for that 10/10), its mostly just easier on his fangs.

definitely horrible at the whole self are thing. he just forgets, all the time. would forget to breathe if it wasnt involuntary

if you say anything he doesnt particularly like (eg "hey bro are you okay do you wanna talk") he'll just stare at you with his rat eyes like 👁️👁️ until you stopped idk what im saying.

he is a bit touch starved, depending on his mood he'll let people touch him in a friendly (emphasis on friendly. friendly friendly friendly dont take it any other way :/) way.

OH I almost forgot about this one: he hisses. some spiders hiss. so does he. vampire furry energy

he also gets pissed when people call him a vampire so uh... im counting my days oops.

will go out and sit in the rain. (wait would it still rain in the future? is the climate still fucked in his timeline or nah)

like "ah, its water time" and goes out to sit like this:

Man if only there was a rain filter

that is all i have for now maybe if something else comes up ill reblog with new stuff >:)

#across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spider verse #headcanons #his specific tag that i have for him might be.........#errrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm #critter moment #eureka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#CRITTER MOMENT YES!!#ok you can post this now ash no more stalling

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myescapediary · 2 years ago

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Another update:

I decide to update my tumblr whenever i’m really sad and cant process what im feeing or thinking so this might be type long so ill break it down. where do I even start?? Its been two months and four days since I came on here. Based off my last update um...

RU update:

there is five weeks left of the semester!! Crazy how fast time flew by, its been ok haven’t make friends tbh but hopefully next semester is different. I am nervous about finals and I still haven’t paid off my tuition.. I also have my internship placement interview that I am so nervous about. I hope i do good and i am just so excited and scared at the same time.

New job:

I got a job!! I work at a Physical Therapy clinic and its been good so far, way different from my last job. Although i only work two days bcs of school, i am so ready to be full time once the semester is over. I am tired of not having money and i need to pay off my credit cards smh.

Social Life: lmao might have to break this one down too...

lets start of with Franco: that was a nice time, distanced myself bcs he was giving bf vibes and wanting a relationship, not what i want.. DV: um with this one.. said i was going to exchange my gifts and then cut him off.. well, his gifts are still sitting in my room LMAO! Idk whats going on with that, i just been avoiding him, he gives me an ick now... J: still around, it’s been really weird, idk why. He stood at my house for two days then his “girl” came to my house and confronted him about him staying here since he lied and she thinks i’m not in his life anymore, welp he went home the following day. He says he wants nothing w her but i’m sure he does, he prob just doesn’t want to be the first one to get into a relationship. Now lets talk about the one thats been taking a toll on me for no fucking reason...

JZ, ok well from last update i seen him at esquina was awkward. Fast forward to 3/10, went to B’s bday party. Me and JZ spoke shit out like fr we kept it cool and it was nice getting the closure I needed, told him how i never wanted a relationship with him etc. I also mentioned how he blocked me from viewing his stories and him viewing mine. Mind you i’m not even that lit bcs i didn't want to do anything stupid since this is the first time being around him since brunch lmao. Night goes on, we dancing then i’m dancing on him cus why not and i notice he keeps staring at my lips and i eventually play dumb and let him kiss me =, first time i backed off second time we made out for like 2 seconds LMAO. Ok, i then let him be and distance myself, I notice B wants to get with him so i’m avoiding them although he isn't fully paying attention to her, fast forward, we end up getting kicked out and we going home. B is in the car w me asking for JZ and how she wants him to take her home and how he “kissed her”. ok anyways, he doesn’t take her home and she lied about that and he told everyone he only kissed me cool. I obv felt a type of way seeing them bcs idk why he got me feeling like this for him, when he doesn’t do shit bruh. Following day we go to Scarlet’s and B is with him and i was like great.. they was always together and i was lowkey hurt, why idk but I was. I just hoped she wasn’t going to NYC with us too..

Ok we go to NYC with the boys for St.Pattys day, its me ad libi and the guys from brunch... off the bat Jacob is being an asshole and bringing brunch up all the time, found out that I was crying for JZ that day of brunch like wtf?? ad to play it off like i remembered that LMAO. Ok, i avoid JZ all night then remembered the following day going up to him and my dumbass being drunk bringing up B to him talking about some, i’m not dumb you want her and he’s like no I want u and i’m like you’re not acting like it and thats all I remembered. He been watching my ig stories since B’s bday but idk my dumbass always does some dumb shit to push him off. I think its the thought of him not wanting me what kills me, like wtf? Following day all his boys said how they would get with me and how i’m bad like wtf let me heal you from your ex?? LMAOO JK. But that was another story, they prob think i’m easy after brunch but hell na, jacob was buggin and swears. Ok well that was on 3/18 and I haven’t seen him since.

I am just driven by the fact he doesn’t want me ig? but then he goes kissing me and saying he wants me? is he that much of a bitch? like I don’t understand fr and me wanting answers makes me want him more and honestly he isn’t even that cute, well he is but like for me to be this “obsessed”. He def needs healing from his ex bcs he be liking sad shit and how he can’t trust females.. He is just such a cool person and his vibes are it, his style and the way he talks god. I don’t know what JZ did to me but he got me going through it without doing anything bruh. No need for me to feel this way. And the fact he knows i’m down bad for him prob gives him an ick and i see why but i try to avoid him and be cool but i fuck it up somehow. I clearly can’t drink when i’m around him. I just wished he was open to getting to know me and not making it weird. But yeah, that’s mainly what’s been making me upset,I was over the thought of him till i was around him for 2 weekends straight. They talking about NYC next weekend and staying over there, idk if he’s going and idk if B is going. If she goes that shit gonna blow mine but we’ll see.

I should be doing homework but here’s me writing a whole book lol.

March 25, 2023

4:19pm

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diabelosa · 4 years ago

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🔥 Infernal/Demonic Language HCs 🔥

Part 2: Celestial/Angelic Language HCs

What is Infernal? Basically the name that the fandom has given Obey Me's hypothetical Demonic Language. In game, one supposedly exists but we have a total of 2 (two) mentions of it. So far.

I will put the references to them + some other posts about it below the cut after the headcanons to keep this from getting too long. If anyone finds anything else feel free to let me know!!

The Actual HCs (minor spoilers for season 3)

🔥 Old Infernal (Pre-Great Celestial War) was very different than Modern Infernal (Post-GCW)

🔥 The Great Celestial War was after the creation of humankind in OM lore, and we also know that angels such as Belphegor and Lilith loved spending time with humans. It's possible that there were other angels who felt the same way

🔥 The means that a decent number of the angels likely picked up on human language (ignoring the possibility of them using magic to have an infinite lexicon)

🔥 Demons also were able to speak some human languages since it made it easier to possess and tempt humans. Sometimes they just spoke in Infernal to give people a good scare for fun

🔥 Biblically, 1/3 of the angels rebelled. Once fallen and thrown into an environment with a language they didn't speak, they began to use human language as a way to communicate with their new demon brethren

🔥 This ends up resulting in the eventual decline of Old Infernal, which is something Diavolo's father would have spoken, and the gradual shift to Modern Infernal

🔥 Hang on, but what about a Celestial Language? Well, the concept of Fallen Angels became big around 500 BC - 70 AD and Hebrew began to die out as a spoken language around (guess) 600 BC - 300 BC. This almost directly overlaps with concept of Fallen Angels so I'm going to ignore history put it in the context of OM lore

🔥 This could possibly mean that Hebrew was initially a language that was spoken in the Celestial Realm (plus Hebrew is often considered to be the first language or the language of God in biblical contexts)

🔥 So when Belphegor, Lilith, and the other angels visited the humans (or their father himself, depending on however you want too look at it), they passed on their own language in exchange for what was spoken, such as Semitic/Sumerian/Egyptian or whatever else could be found in the biblical regions

🔥 If demons actively visited humans, it is possible that they were able to pick up on this language as well (although I doubt they'd be really wanting to start speaking a Celestial tongue)

🔥 This could mean that Modern Infernal/Demonic language is based off an initial conglomeration of Semitic, Ancient/Koine Greek, Aramaic, etc. Hebrew would be another potential shared language but, like I said, not sure if the existing demons would be fully willing to adopt this into Infernal

🔥 The Greek script ended up becoming an official writing system for Modern Infernal, but the Old Infernal system is used for legal documentation (see below cut in Reference 3)

🔥 High ranking angels (Lucifer, Michael, etc.) learned Old Infernal before the GCW for communication purposes despite it being discouraged. This eventually allowed Diavolo to reach out the the Celestial Realm and begin his push for peace between the two realms. However, the masses did not have this knowledge, forcing the evolution into Modern Infernal

🔥 A variation of Hebrew is still the Official Celestial Realm language, particularly due to the fact that the angels who did learn other human languages were likely the ones who fell.

🔥 We've seen in game from the Angelic event that the Celestial Realm is big on keeping things very controlled. After the GCW, there was a huge transition to keep angels in line - this extended to limiting interactions with humans, which resulted in a stagnation of language through outside contact (not to say that there wasn't change in Celestial language, it was just much more limited)

🔥 So while Infernal was evolving, Celestial remained stagnant. Maybe in just more ways than language, y'know?

🔥 Simeon was originally one of the few who was taught Old Infernal, however that knowledge became obsolete with the change to Modern. Even the human languages that he once knew and that had influenced Modern had changed so much that they were not much help

🔥 Angels and Demons are able to learn languages more quickly than humans. When Simeon and Luke came to Devildom for the exchange program, this allowed them to transition much more easily.

In Game References to Language/Writing

Reference 1: Chapter 22-A

"But Ray, Luci's talking about a writing system, not a language."

TRUE. However, the two are usually pretty intertwined, and if anything you are more likely to find a language without writing vs the other way around. So to preface, I'm talking about spoken language, NOT written (although I'll touch on that in a bit.)

Reference 2: Chapter 45-11

Unfortunately, this means absolutely nothing. Below I have the closest possible matches as to what it could mean, but tldr its nonsense for the most part.

dann : "then" (German)

deldaim : ???

parastoka : "ordinary" (Finnish)

kyom : "why" (Hindi)

Since this is in quotation marks, I'm assuming that what Satan is saying here is how it would be pronounced/directly transcribed without any funny business (with the exclusion of "ai" as a dipthong)

I'm going to hold off on dissecting it further for reconstruction for now and will do a follow up post that goes more into detail.

Reference #3: His Highness Unwinds SSR Card

See that G R E E K?! I did a post on this a while ago when someone brought it to my attention and I went into it in a bit more detail here. But as a tldr; the devs just keysmashed some Greek letters.

Thanks to the Lucifer dialogue, we know that Devildom has their own form of writing, but not all languages have their own writing system. Languages like English, French, German, etc. use Latin script and Farsi, Arabic, Somali, etc. use Arabic script.

However, Lucifer does specify "human world" script... and Greek technically would fall under that. So this could possibly mean a few things:

1. The boring but most likely option: Devs just picked a random writing system and it happened to be Greek

2. Lucifer is under the assumption that the MC writes in a roman script (another boring one)

3. There are multiple writing systems, one of which is the original one that was used in Old Infernal and often used for legal purposes.

#im really hoping this is the updated one :( tumblr kept shitting out on me when i was trying to edit this #obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me luficer #obey me michael #infernal #obey me belphegor #obey me lilith #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #omswd #obey me luke #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan

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our-neighbours-cat-is-a-menace · 3 years ago

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What about obey me boys catching them reading a fanfic about them yes im projecting-

Oooh, i like this and also for this fic, i chose the bois who are more on the dominant side but if it gets a good review i will do the rest

WARNING: Mentions of sex

Ok without further a do , here it is

Lucifer

He's busy

From what you may ask

From hanging mammon in the living room ceiling

And you just wanted peace, so you ain't getting near that shit

In addition your favourite author updated her blog with the request you made

So it's time to get readin

You aren't an angel you are far from that, and it's obvious from your request

"A noncon Lucifer x reader smut with public degradation"

The author even called you a sinner in the header of the story

It'd be bad if anyone saw you reading this, so you decided to go to your room and read it on the bed, your stomach in contact with the bed

Maybe from excitement, you forgot to lock the door

A good 2 minutes have passed and you are getting to the most intense part

Rawr

With the level of concentration you have on what you're reading, you didn't realized lucifer knocked and seeing how you weren't answering, he let himself in

Finding you plopped on the bed with a stupid grin on your face

Now that got him curious

What could you be reading for it to warrant such an expression

So he went to your side, making sure you don't notice him and you should've seen his face when he saw

"You like that, don't you slut"

"Lucifer pls, i wanna cum"

What in Diavolo's name are you reading woman

He was quick to call you out, a stern look adorning his face

You quickly jumped on your feet, now face to face with lucifer, you quickly tossed your phone in hopes he didn't see anything, but by the look of that face it's safe to say he did

"Uhm luci, how long have you been standing there" you asked already fearing for what's to come

"Long enough for the woman in that story to cum" he replied

By this point you hung your head low, already rehearsing the line of apologies you ought to say

But before you can do any of that

The prideful demon lifted your chin with one hand, making you have eye contact with him

"If you wanna get railed that badly, you should just say so. I'll be more than willing to take your abilities to walk for weeks" he stated, words laced with lust

Satan

You were both in his room reading

Him reading on a book and you on your DDD

Scrolling across tumblr, you came across a oneshot fanfic that depicts the sins mainly wrath, and living with the actual sin got you curious about the content

You somehow skipped the tags and went to reading

You missed the tags: dubcon and cockwarming

The start was really well written and it got you engrossed to continue reading, half way through it started to get steamy that's when you realized it was smut

You could feel your face heat up, this made you side eye your boyfriend ensuring he doesn't suspect you of anything

But who are you trying to fool, it's satan

He noticed you side eyeing him but kept quiet

You went back to reading and things just got steamier by the minute, you can't help but gulp

You failed to notice how satan stood up and went behind you also reading the sinful shit you're currently reading

You finished the entire onsehot and was about to scroll away when

"You should check, maybe there's a sequel"

You quickly turned around at the voice behind you and you could feel all the colors in your face to disappear

"not gonna check it?" he's obviously teasing you

"how long have you been there" you said completely embarrassed

"hmmm, from the" ugh satan, i wanna move, you're so big" he so shamelessly said in a high pitch voice

You wanna die

You could feel your soul leaving your body

You quickly covered your face with your hand

Satan chuckled at your state, he quickly sat beside you plopping you on his lap, you straddling him

You don't have anymore energy to protest, you just hid your face in the crook of his neck

20 minutes later

"S-satan, i w-wanna move" you pleaded, him buried deep inside you

"you forgot the" You're so big" part" he teased

"shut up"

Asmodeus

You and Asmo are out shopping

And now you are currently changing from one outfit to another while Asmo compliments and rate how good it looks

"how about this" you emerged from the changing room showing the demon a pure white dress designed with lace that captures your angel like features

"Oooh, you look just like an angel dear" asmo fangirled "wait lemme take a photo" asmo added

He quickly opened your phone already knowing the password and tried to click the cam when he accidentally opened wattpad, and now displaying the fic you red before you went out with him

Luck wasn't on your side since the first words he saw from that fic was

"I'll breed you till dawn, until your belly is full with my children"

He wanted to read more when your voice brought him back to reality

"Asmo, come on what's taking so long, take the pic" you whined

He quickly took the photo, acting like he just didn't see anything

"Mc, why don't you try this one next" he said handing you a black laced strap dress

"isn't this too sexy"

"it's fine, just try it"

With no more complaints, you went into the changing room and started undressing

The moment you are only left with your underwear, asmo came inside

"What the heck, get out asmo"

"I'm sure you don't want that, I'm still gonna breed you until your belly is full with my children" he said caging you between him and the mirror behind you

You remembered that what he said was from the fic you were reading

You were stunned, shocked, and totally embarrassed

Seeing your reaction, asmo quickly started a full make out session

"If you were into breeding that much, I'd be happy to fill you up dear" he seductively said

But you were already fucked dumb to comprehend anything he was saying

P. S.: You guys had to buy the dress since it was covered in semen🤷‍♀️

Diavolo

Do you want him to do this

You went to the bathroom and he just got back from a meeting with lucifer and here's your phone on the bed still open on the fic

At first he was like "awe, it's me" but then when he scrolled down he was met with a lot of "ugh, nghh, squeak, tremble, thrust, creak" and a lot more

He scrolled back to the very top part and he was shocked by those tags

:edging/orgasm denial, finger sucking, dumbification, hard fuck

Are you into this shit

Your love making has always been on the vanilla side

He doesn't wanna go that hard knowing he might break you

But seeing this it made him rethink his choices, did you wanna be fucked hard

While he was mulling over this new development, you stepped out of the bathroom, a towel covering your frame

Your eyes quickly darted towards your phone on his hand

You were quick to grab it but Diavolo was quicker he put it out of reach

"MC, be honest with me, do you wanna do these" he asked referring to what was on the phone

You were silent for a good minute but you eventually muttered a yes

Damn, you should have said that from the start cause if he knew he didn't have to hold back, he would've already knocked you up

He quickly grabbed your wrist and laid you on the bed with him on top

Wonders happened that night cause the next day, you can't walk, your mouth was dry, it was sore down there and you feel like you had enough of s*x for an entire year

"maybe a little restraint would be nice" you said to your boyfriend who was just glowing, the total opposite of your wrecked state

A/N: Ok i just wanna say jsdjsjcisjdhddhksj

Masterlist🌻

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sunookkii · 3 years ago

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hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

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fairybaby777 · 3 years ago

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hey !! it’s 💒 anon , .. you asked me about my journey w the law here it is ~ ( also sorry if it’s all over the place I’m actually signing sum covers [ new album EXCITEDDD AHH 🤞🤞 ] omg kinda weird to say ~ )

so first I found out about subliminals I used to listen as much as I can , hoping I would get results , I started with the ones that had more views cuz I thought they worked better anyways they didn’t work . I searched “subliminal results “and kept seeing them whenever I got desperate I used to think they were fake . then I came across more well - edited ( probably young ) sub makers I really liked the aesthetic and used to again listen as much as I could from a state of lack . then idk what happened in the middle but fast forward when I magically found solar subs guide , this was when I found out about the law . honestly solars work was more than enough but I started overconsumption without applying i think i went on insta ( I didn’t kno tumblr was a thing ) & saved + ss sm posts and I would say fuck the law etc . and didn’t persist the most important part is persisting fr . so then I got introduced to self concept and I thought I had to affirm 24/7 and shi and that would honestly j ruin the fun of it , then I was like fuck it no more conditions and j stuck with “ my self concept is perfect “ and affirmed everytime I thought of it ( self concept, in my opinion isn’t required AT ALL to manifest you can have a shit self concept and still manifest like if u had a perfect one j assume ) and then obviously I got a perfect self concept basically this was around the time where I started persisting no matter wtf is going on in my reality I lived in the end and mental dieted and thought “ from “ I also stopped thinking “ why isn’t it here yet I’m persisting “ ( THIS IS SO DUMB LOL ) then within no time I acquired all my desires all I did was think as if I had them no matter what went on in my reality. I would recommend to read solars guide If u haven’t .

if you or your followers have more questions go ahead and ask me , I might take some time to reply cuz i’m really fucking busy and i’m flying 4 times in the next 8 days and have alot of schedules .it’s honestly very tiring but I luv every part of it . i’ll reply whenever I get time .

peace <3

~ 💒 anon

omg 💒anon hello !!! you’re life sounds super exciting ahhh im actually so happy for you ! thanks sm for sharing your journey with us, my journey is honestly veryyy similar. i do have one other question - did your desires just sorta show up overnight or was there a sort of period of events that lead up to everything ? THANK YOU AGAIN 💒ANON !! keep updating us on your busy life when you get the chance !! wishing you a safe flight 🤍🤍

#💒

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surviving---not---living · 3 years ago

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What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

#abusive relationship #tw abuse #mine #relationship #please help me #help #relationship advice #fiancé #couple problems #manipulative #maybe #physical abuse #lost #scared #lonely #what do i do

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sukirichi · 3 years ago

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— LOVE LETTER FROM ANON ; 💌

this is from an ask i received. i copy pasted and replied here as a text post since i can’t put “read more” on anon asks and it’s quite long hehehe. to the anon who sent me this, i give you loads of my love, thank you so much for everything !!

[ the ask ]

hi lovely,

i just read earned it and i have a couple things i’d like to say to you if you don’t mind. before i start, i completely understand if you don’t want to share this ask or even read at all which is fair. but if you do decide to read it, i know that one person such as me cannot change the decisions a writer had made such as discontinuing a series but i hope that this allows you some sense of peace or happiness towards your creation and end of earned it. i’m actually writing this is my notes before i send it to you so that’s how you know i truly mean it. buckle up baby!

i’d like to start with this; i just read and finished all the remaining chapters of earned it. i don’t know how to say this without sounding arrogant or cocky which truly isn’t my intention here, i promise so i’ll just say it as is. i swear to ever loving god, i’ve scoured the entirety of tumblr, ao3, fanfiction.net, wattpad, everything and anything, and it still isn’t very often that i find works like these, far and few between dare i say. ive looked through almost everything i could get my hands on to read in the jjk fandom and dear god, do you manage to keep on surprising me. i’ve read majority if not all your works along with following you on ao3 and tumblr, and i must say. i truly am so fucking impressed. completely and absolutely fucking floored if you will. the amount of plot twists and pure emotion you managed to put into this is only something i can dream of ever creating.

i cannot lie, it truly my hearts to think that people gave you so much shit over this to which ended in you deciding to discontinue along with your lack of interest which at least, is understandable unlike the hate. i literally cannot comprehend how people would be unhappy with the outcome so far after reading it since it was beyond fucking magnificent in my eyes. it kept me on my toes the entire time whilst never managing to bore me once and as someone with adhd, thats fucking hard to do, i’ll admit it. props to you. and as much as i want to grovel and beg for crumbs, something, anything to know about how it ends, i know that that will most likely accomplish nothing to both you and i so decided to just say this.

thank you for writing this. thank you for not only writing it but dealing with the experience of unwanted and negative criticism to the point you had to stop and discontinue it whilst also being generous and amazing enough to keep it up so other people could still read it. i really hope your proud of earned it and how it turned out so far, because if i were you, i’d be so bloody fucking proud i wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

my friends often tell me i overstep my boundaries and i really hope i aren’t doing that with this but i just really, truly, wanted to express my genuine appreciation and thanks towards your writing and towards you as a writer that puts out content, not to mention for free!!!!, for people like me. i also don’t want to seem as if i’m glorifying earned above all your other works, because that’s not what i mean. your writing is just… just fucking chefs kiss. sorry, my brains starting to run out of words at this point but oh my god. thank you for letting me experience the experience of earned it even though there was no proper end. i’d rather have that than nothing at all. and maybe i misread this entire thing, maybe you are goddamn proud of your work, which you fuckinf should be considering the pure quality it is. once again, chefs kiss!!

i just… i don’t know what to say anymore. your writing, quite literally, has made me completely fucking breathless in a good way of course. anyways, i hope this wasn’t too much of a ramble and at least managed to make you smile or something. have a lovely day sweetheart!!!! <333 :*)

OMG ANON PLS FORGIVE ME IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME DAYS TO RESPOND TO, I DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE YOU A HALF ASSED RESPONSE SO I WAITED TO GET MY MENTAL ENERGY BACK TO A HUNDRED PERCENT SO I CAN SEND BACK MORE LOVE TO YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY !! FIRST OF ALL UHM…

you really made me speechless with this one, you have no idea. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve reread this and teared up a little bit because you know… I’m so shocked like I really have no idea what I did to receive such a sweet message because I’m just writing silly fanfics when I’m feeling it yknow? Or at least that’s what it seems like because it turns out I have a huge impact on others and I’m able to make people happy like I’ll never EVER get used to that feeling and I mean that in a good way !! Like I’m in a constant state of disbelief that people are this affected by my content and I’m just…

I’m so thankful truly PLEASE can I give you a hug I’m so happy sobs sobs sobs

also baby, thank you sm for this again AAAAHH. I’m not sure if you really mean ‘Earned It’ the mafia! gojo series or ‘Reckless’ the CEO gojo series though ?? Both are discontinued but Earned It was discontinued bcos my dumbass killed Naoya there and he was my favorite so I lost the motivation and it was all my fault SOBBSSS. as for Reckless though, yeah I’d say it was mostly the hate I got for it that demotivated me into continuing it :// but if this ask is meant for Earned It, then yes thank you so much for the kind words as well, though I didn’t really receive hate for it so no worries !!

and aaah anon im…I’m at a loss for words lmao but the part where you said where you would be proud if you wrote it, that’s really…LIKE IDK it just hit me bcos oftentimes I look at something I poured my heart into, but then I’d have days where I’d be like YIKES that wasn’t a good one. its so easy to forget the effort we put into something when we’re affected by external factors. and yeah even though I really don’t want to continue either series anymore, thank you for leaving me the important note of being proud of myself <33

although the series (earned it) wasn’t really something I’d properly executed and planned for, I do remember being passionate over it and feeling truly excited to update. even if it didn’t end out the way I wanted it to, it’s still something I poured my heart on and that’s magnificent on its own, so I’ll be prouder of myself from now on <33

no worries bb you are not overstepping any boundaries at all !! believe me when I say this ask truly do means a lot to me – more than you’ll ever know. messages like these are what keeps me going, as feedback is important to writers, but most of all it’s the genuine support and sincerity that gets to me.

I’m truly humbled and grateful right now. thank you for this again and again and again.

THIS MADE ME MORE THAN SMILE !! there’s a lot of things I’m struggling with even if I don’t publicly express it, but messages like these will always have a special place in my heart. I’m sincerely grateful for everything, and I’ll continue writing here and sharing my works!! It’s supportive people like you that make these moments worthwhile. I’ll never forget this message anon AAAAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU THANK YOU YOU HAVE AN EVEN BETTER DAY OR NIGHT, you have me weak in the knees for this

OKAY BRB SOBBING IN HAPPINESS

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #suki: for keeps #uwu anon

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jayflrt · 3 years ago

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IM SO SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG 😭

i would love to be wedding anon omfg and don't worry bae the quality on mobile Tumblr isn't that bad </33 just a lil but i hope tumblr fixes that and oh god the wedding.. IT WAS ACTUALLY THE WEDDING OF ONE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS??? and like my friends and i helped in planning it out so it was going good but it we were so busy and everyone was in such a rush sigh </3 and me and my bestfriend kept running everywhere it was kinda fun seeing him RUNNING AROUND LMFAO ND CHECKING IF EVERYTHINGS IS OKAY ??? THE HAIRSPRAY MESSED UP HIS HAIR IT WAS SO FUNNY but it's okay his ass got it fixed later on ❤️ and honestly it was really good except talking with the aunties like they were talking shit about how my friend was getting married at 23 while saying we should get married soon too like ??? ugh but anyways i kinda got emo when they were standing beside each other and just </33 cause the groom was the guy my friends and i set her up with as a blind date 5 years ago </33 and i remember us making a promise that if it goes well she'd get me a bagel and today while i was getting ready i WENT TO MY HOTEL ROOM CAUSE SHE TEXTED ME TO GO THERE ???? AND then i see a plate with a bagel and it had a sticky note "fulfilled my promise" Yeah. I cried ❤️😎 ?????? so glad i didn't have my makeup done god BUT THEN I CRIED AGAIN 😓❤️ it was the first ever time i've seen her grandma and parents cry and im pretty close with them cause i remember going to her grandma's home ever weekend and she'd make us pies </3 yeah i STARTED SOBBING IN MY BESTFRIENDS ARMS IT WAS ???? and he just held me the entire time and later we got drunk sitting in our hotel room talking about random memories and :( that's how the night ended <3

hihi wedding anon !! OMG DONT APOLOGIZE I ENJOYED THE READ and sob the quality was soooo bad for me until i updated today 😭 like i could barely read the text on my smau it was so blurry :(

AHH THATS SO EXCITING THO AND YOUR CLOSE FRIEND TOO D; i honestly wouldve bawled seeing him get married to the woman he loves like THATS SO CUTE and the running around HAHAH :’)) also pls 23 is so young 😭😭 get married at your own pace !! like marriage sounds cute and all but you rlly gotta buckle down after that so enjoy the single life while you can 🥰

ALSO ?/?;&: I DIDNT ASK TO CRY TODAY WTFFFF THATS THE CUTEST THING EVER PLS IM TEARING UP JUST READING IT 😭😭😭😭 fulfilled promise pls i am going to sob i will never recover if my friend did that to me

that’s such a wonderful way to end the night !! i’m glad y’all got to talk :’) it’s so fun to talk about past memories with friends like i did that the other day with my friend and it felt so nostalgic and warm ♡

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #wedding anon

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autisticangus · 4 years ago

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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

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zwy01 · 5 years ago

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It’s 2am and I cant fall sleep and I’m hungry so ya.... just gonna talk to myself here for a bit lolll o shit it’s quite long

This manhwa has always been a big part of my life since middle school .. and I’m heading off for college this fall... wow time really flies doesn’t it... It not only kept me going thru the difficult times but it also pushed me to keep refining my art skills and I’ve gotten so much practice out of it... and all the great friends I’ve made through these five years... couldn’t be any happier :,) anyhow i guess I’m just kind of sad that this fandom is dying, but it was a great part of my childhood (quite literally) and I’ll continue to create content because it will forever be my all time favorite... but still sad cuz no more staying up or running back to my dorm from class to check updates... the good days :D well before I came to tumblr or twitter, in 2016 I used to be active on chinese social media and I also made a lot of great friends there and we had forums and group chats and it was so much fun waiting for updates together and talking about the plot... and sharing art... but that’s no longer possible and I hope they are doing well now... when I joined twitter in march 2017 i had so much trouble adjusting to new life alone at a boarding school and was really struggling in freshman year ... but I discovered so much and made so many friends it quite literally saved my ass... both school and vacations were more fun because I always had people to talk to and art ideas to draw, waiting for the next update with everyone... ah my favorite times when I would be listening to music with my earphones, sitting at my desk eagerly making fanart as I sweat a little in the summer heat and chatting with other people in the fandom from all over the world...or when I fly back to china from the US for the holidays and I’m jet lagged but on my computer and drawing and very happy while forgetting the time difference means the update time also changed and I recalculate the time difference so i can get on webtoon as soon as the next chapter comes out... damn I really miss the old days... this is sad...Also really miss the people who left or aren’t inactive many more, I regret coming on tumblr too late... artists and writers and other fun people that I idolized aren’t here anymore... 60% of my friends on twitter also left and I’m still stuck in the sadness of nostalgia... I stay up late and sleep in everyday but I used to check my notifications and messages looking forward to talking to all my friends... I hope theyre doing well now too... ugh i’m so damn sad okay.... also still kinda afraid to play music from my old playlist because I’ve linked every single friggin song I’ve listened to while the manhwa was still being updated to a specific story arc... even exact chapters....ugh i’m too in love with this i dont know what to do anymore... and yeah... i love every character but I love ludis the most.... my number one...I don’t know since when I fell in love with him but all I know is that im still as crazy for him as I was five years ago... he is so cute and handsome and brave and willing and elegant.... also his sense of duty.... the precise angle his side swept bangs form to meet his chin to his small ears.... how he charges at the enemy without hesitation and is willing to sacrifice himself ... how his tiny body is packed with so much energy and curiosity and sweetness.... i love you with all my soul.. (okay insomnia makes me confess) and raskreia.... so gorgeous.... so perfect and beautiful and powerful... nothing can describe my love for you.... best tsundere... and rozaria... sassy and passionate and mature ... what can i say more.... you make my heart go doki doki.... and all of the lukedonian babies honestly....dammit too bad the manhwa ended without giving these precious ones more screen time but that’s okay you live in my art and I love you guys... insert propaganda here im lowkey trying spread noble love here... anyways... Im grateful for everyone and everything and it’s truly been an amazing time and something that will forever live in me... I’ll try to be active here for as long as possible because I love noblesse for life :)

#rambles #just old kori being annoying #oh boy

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scientifthicc · 6 years ago

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You’re Gonna Catch a Cold

hello all! this is my valentine’s day exchange gift for the wonderful @shadowsofrainbows ily!! hello, i’m your valentine skdjskj. i really hope you enjoy the gift because i’m not sure if its any good or not so i’m sorry if it sucks. i really enjoyed writing it and its a tyrus fanfic so i hope you like it :)) by the way, im sorry this is posting so late, tungler dot com was being a butt and i couldn’t post it until now :(( sorry to keep you waiting so long hhh

also!! a big thank you and shout out to @swingsetboys for organizing this valentine’s day gift exchange!! these gift exchanges are so fun to do and without you we wouldn’t have them so thank you ilyy! and thanks for being so kind and helpful when tumblr’s a pain in the ass skdjsk

Cyrus tapped his foot impatiently as he anxiously waited for TJ to answer the call.

TJ’s voice comes from the phone, but it’s not him, it’s his voicemail. “It’s TJ. If you’re hearing this it’s probably because I don’t feel like answering the phone right now. Leave a message, if you want.” A beep comes from the phone, signaling the start of the voicemail.

Cyrus took a breath before starting to not sound as worried as he really was. “Hey TJ, it’s Cyrus. Again. Nobody’s heard from you in a couple days so please please please answer me as soon as you can.” Pressing the red End button, he turned to his friends with a downcast face. Cyrus had been stressing out since Tuesday when TJ didn’t show up to school and didn’t answer what had come to be many texts and calls. None of the teachers TJ had seemed to know what was happening either, sending him into a whirlwind of thoughts. Is TJ okay? Is he hurt? Is he dying? No, he’s not dying. But what if he is dying?? Now it was Saturday, and the GHC was standing outside the Spoon, waiting to go in as Cyrus called TJ for the millionth time.

“No answer,” he said with a frown.

“Cyrus. Relax. He’s probably fine,” Buffy said, putting her hands on Cyrus’s shoulders and drawing out the word “relax”. She spun him around and ushered him into the Spoon.

“Yeah,” Andi scoffed, as they found a booth and sat down. “You’re probably just going through a TJ-withdraw.” Andi and Buffy chuckled while Cyrus scowled.

“Right,” he said, looking over the menu and pretending to ignore Andi’s comment. “He’s probably fine.” He paused to take his order when the waitress came over before continuing. “That doesn’t guarantee he’s okay. What if he needs our help?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “If you want to know so bad, why don’t you stop by his house and find out?”

“You’re right,” Cyrus said determinedly, putting both palms on the table and standing up.

“Wait- now? Your food hasn’t even arrived yet” Buffy said, but Cyrus was already out of his seat.

“Update us!!” Andi yelled as Cyrus was walking out the door, earning a thumbs up from him as he left to signal that he had heard them.

Andi and Buffy exchanged a knowing look, and Buffy rolled her eyes once again. “He left his coat,” Buffy giggled.

On his way there, the sound of Cyrus’s feet crunching in the snow was the only sound that could be heard, and he couldn’t help but think about what could have happened to TJ. Was he grounded? Cyrus doubted that. He wouldn’t be surprised if his parents took away his phone if he was in trouble, but it doesn’t make sense that they would keep him from coming to school. Did TJ get into trouble at school? He didn’t want to think of that as a possibility. He knew TJ was better than that. Did his family go on vacation? No way. TJ definitely would have told him beforehand.

Eventually, Cyrus ended up on TJ’s front porch that afternoon, pacing in front of the door as he waited, shivering, since he accidentally left his coat with Buffy and Andi in his rush to leave the Spoon. He let out a frosty breath, looking down at his feet as he stopped in front of the door, hands in his pockets, and waited.

“Hey,” said a congested-sounding voice, making Cyrus jump as he broke out of his thoughts.

Looking up, Cyrus went to respond but stopped short at the sight in front of him, barely preventing himself from choking on the frigid air around him. Standing there in front of him, in the doorway, was TJ Kippen himself, but different. He clearly looked sick, and he was wearing gray sweatpants Cyrus had never seen on him before, but it got worse; he had no hair gel, making her hair a fluffy dirty-blonde mess, and was wearing glasses. Cyrus couldn’t help but be a teensy bit upset by the fact that TJ had never told him that he actually wore contacts. A little forewarning would’ve been nice — he was having trouble handling the sight in front him at that moment. It took him a while before Cyrus realized he was staring at him like an idiot.

“Uh- TJ! You’re okay!” Cyrus finally exclaimed before cringing, realizing TJ wasn’t exactly okay, considering he was sick and wishing he had kept his mouth shut. “I mean— you’re not dead, at least.” He facepalmed. “I— nevermind. Hi TJ.”

TJ started laughing before devolving into a coughing fit. Growing concerned, Cyrus let himself inside and shut the door to keep TJ out of the cold. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good. I’m a little sick. Just a little, though,” he answered with a heavily congested voice before sneezing multiple times.

They walked into the kitchen, where Cyrus immediately felt warm. The entire house gave off a welcoming, lived-in, and cozy feel, especially the kitchen with the warm beige walls, different variety of mugs in one of the see-through cabinets, and the pictures on the fridge that displayed upcoming events, drawings TJ made when he was about 7 or 8 maybe, and souvenir magnets. When he saw the old drawings, Cyrus smiled, admiring how cute they were, before turning back to TJ as they both sat down at the kitchen table. “Did your parents take away your phone or something?”

“I mean, technically.”

Cyrus gestured for TJ to continue.

“Well.” TJ paused to cough. “My parents are the — sniff — type of parents who don’t let you — sneeze — use your phone when you get sick, because they think using it will be bad for you and delay you from getting better,” he explained before grabbing a tissue from one of the boxes that were currently everywhere in the house and blowing his nose. “So, when I got sick and had to stay home, I couldn’t really let you know, which sucked.” He coughed a couple times.

Cyrus frowned. “That sucks.” TJ nodded his head in agreement. “ I was so stressed. I was worried you died or something. I must have called you at least 15 times.” Cyrus couldn’t help but cringe at how desperate he must’ve sounded, but TJ would’ve eventually seen the calls and texts when he got his phone back anyways, so he had nothing to lose.

TJ grinned and opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say anything, he started to cough. He was shivering a little as well, despite the fact that it was currently warm in the house.

Cyrus frowned again. “Where’s the blankets?” TJ vaguely gestured to a door under the stairs — while still coughing into his arm — that seemed to be a small closet. He fetched a pink blanket, with Dora, Diego, Backpack, and Boots with huge lettering that told you it was Dora the Explorer blanket — in case you weren’t sure before — and threw it on TJ before moving to the cabinets to hunt around for a tea kettle, a mug, and a tea bag. Once he finally found what he needed, he started preparing tea for TJ. The tea kettle was already filled with water and heating up on the stove before TJ finally spoke up.

“Uh, Cyrus?” TJ questioned, finally removing the blanket from over his head where it had been thrown on him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making you tea and taking care of you, duh,” Cyrus responded, now setting a pot on the stove and searching through the cabinets for ramen soup (every house had to have ramen, he thought) while he waited for the tea to be made. Cyrus, still facing the cabinets, kept going before TJ could say anything. “I don’t see anyone else around, so I’m gonna be the one to do it.” He was clearly in full-parent mode by now, and there was no going back. Putting the ramen packet he finally found down and turning to face TJ, he asked, “By the way, where are your parents?”

TJ rested his head on his arm. ”They’re gone for the weekend for a wedding. They didn’t want to leave me in the ’state I was in’, but they’d RSVP’d months before,” he answered, complete with air quotes, sniffs, and sneezes.

“Oh. Uh, okay,” he said, turning around to continue making the soup and to hide his blush. They were gonna be alone for God knows how long and Cyrus didn’t know how to feel about it. Cyrus and TJ sat in comfortable silence for a couple minutes while Cyrus made the soup. He may not know shit about cooking, but he had learned to at least make soup for when his parents were out and there was nothing else to eat, so it had become a staple food for him. Cyrus assumed it was comfortable silence, at least; it was entirely possible that TJ could have fallen asleep and Cyrus wouldn’t have been surprised. In reality, though, although Cyrus was unaware, TJ couldn’t help but stare at Cyrus and appreciate what he was doing for TJ. He felt undeserving to have someone as lucky as Cyrus care for him, even though it wasn’t like he would ever tell him how he felt.

Eventually handing TJ the tea that had finally finished being made (“With honey and lemon to help your cold, of course,” Cyrus had told him), he broke the silence by asking how he had managed to get by at all so far in the state he was in.

“I haven’t,” TJ answered after a couple seconds of thought. “I was dying earlier. But I’m dying a little less now.”

“Thank God I’m here, I guess,” Cyrus said with a smile. Time stood still for a second as TJ and Cyrus simply stared at each other for a couple seconds, a blush creeping up on both of their faces, not that oblivious TJ noticed Cyrus’s blush, or vice versa. The awkward silence was clearly cutting through the room, though, so Cyrus cleared his throat before it could get worse, turning to check on the soup to find that it was ready.

Handing TJ the soup, Cyrus told him, “Okay, well, go to your room and lay down. I’ll be up in a couple minutes with something else and I’m gonna pick a movie for us to watch.”

TJ rolled his eyes. “I’m not that sick, Underdog,” he informs him before hacking and coughing once again. No matter how many times TJ says it, Cyrus’s heart skips a beat when TJ calls him “Underdog”, and he knew it always would.

“Go upstairs, TJ,” Cyrus said with half-seriousness.

Begrudgingly, TJ stood, soup in hand and Dora-themed blanket wrapped around him and held together with the other. “You’re being such a mom,” TJ grumbled under his breath, but loud enough to still be heard by Cyrus (which he totally did on purpose).

“What was that?” Cyrus called with raised eyebrows.

TJ flashed a cocky grin at him. “Nothing!” he answered with a cheeky (but stuffy) voice before sludging upstairs to obey Cyrus.

Cyrus’s eyes followed TJ with a goofy grin as he trudged up the stairs. Never would Cyrus understand how TJ managed to be so charming, even when he was sick.

Once TJ was upstairs, he pulled out his phone and opened his notes to find the smoothie recipe he kept around for when somebody got sick. It was a random thing to keep on your phone, but in Cyrus’s defense, you never know when you need to make an emergency smoothie and it obviously it came in handy.

The smoothie turned out to be a greenish-brown color, giving Cyrus some serious doubts on how good the smoothie actually was — not to mention how it would taste — but Cyrus grabbed some straws and headed upstairs anyways. Walking through the hallway on his way to TJ’s room, he spotted lots of family pictures throughout the years, baby pictures of TJ, and school pictures, as well as baseball pictures, of TJ. Cyrus couldn’t help but gush over how adorable TJ was in all the pictures, and couldn’t resist from taking a few pictures from his phone of the multiple photos on wall for blackmail and future birthday posts.

Finally finding TJ’s room and walking into it, he found that TJ had already chosen and started some kind of action movie without Cyrus, and was laying down in bed. TJ sat up when Cyrus entered the room, though.

Cyrus pouted. “You already started without me?” he said with mock-sadness and betrayal in his voice. TJ just shrugged. “I forgive you. I know the sickness is getting to your head.” Cyrus handing him the smoothie and straws. “I made a smoothie. It’s not poison, I promise. I think.”

TJ laughed and took the smoothie. “Thanks, Underdog. You really didn’t have to do all of this for me. I don’t deserve it,” TJ said with a soft smile that made Cyrus want to kiss him on the spot, but when hearing that TJ thought he didn’t “deserve it”, he couldn’t help but go off on a tangent.

“But I did have to! And I wanted to, too. You most definitely deserved it and I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you here by yourself when you were sick and if I wasn’t here then there would’ve been no one here to take of you and who knows what would’ve happened if I didn’t do anything about it and I didn’t have had any contact with you because you don’t have your phone so I wouldn’t have been able to check up on you to see how you’re doing and you’re already sick so you need to feel comfortable and have company and get better and what if you got worse and—”

“Cyrus! Cy- Underdog! Listen to me Cyrus. It’s okay,” TJ said, cutting him off and trying to calm him down. “Look at me. I’m fine. Okay, I’m not fine, but I’m not dying and I’m not going to die. You really don’t have to go full parent mode on me. I’ll be okay,” he said with a soft smile. “Now,” he said, once Cyrus has realized he had gotten too worked up and had calmed down a little. “Come sit down and watch this stupid movie with me.” TJ grinned and patted the bed.

Cyrus let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Sorry. When I really care about someone I get super caring and protecting, I guess,” he answered, smiling sheepishly. Cyrus was beginning to feel embarrassed about his tiny outburst, but knowing TJ wasn’t judging him, he was able to relax.

TJ blushed at the thought the Cyrus cared about him so much. “It’s okay. I honestly really appreciate it, Cy.” Without thinking, Tj decided to be bold. “It’s pretty cute, to be honest,” TJ said, before taking a sip of the smoothie handed him. But before Cyrus could choke about what TJ just said (and before TJ could freak out about what had come out of his mouth before he could think about it), TJ coughed and made a fake gagging noise. “Ugh! This is disgusting. What’s in it?” he asked with a disgusted tone, gesturing to the smoothie in his hand.

“Well, there’s spinach, orange juice, basil, beets, carrots… all of which is supposed to help you heal more quickly!” Cyrus said, realizing how gross the combination sounded when he said it out loud.

TJ fake gagged again, making a “blech” noise and pretending to stick a finger near his mouth at the thought of the mixture. “It’s horrible. Taste it with me?” he suggested with a smirk, offering Cyrus a straw.

Cyrus accepted the straw, acting like he was extending his hand at a royal ball. “Gladly,” he responded with mock formality, taking a seat next to TJ on his bed and sticking his straw into the smoothie.

“On the count of three?” TJ asked, to which Cyrus nodded. “No chickening out!” he announced it advance.

“I won’t!” Cyrus promised.

TJ took a deep breath. “Okay. One…” Cyrus took a deep breath and braced himself as much as he could. “Two....” TJ grimaced, not prepared to take another sip. “And…. three!” Cyrus quickly took and swallowed a decent sip to keep his promise, but TJ only pretended to take a sip.

Immediately, Cyrus turned away and gagged. “Why do I even try to do anything related to cooking?” Cyrus rasped, disgusted, while TJ laughed his head off. Hearing his laughter, Cyrus whipped head back towards TJ. “You didn’t drink it?” he yelped. TJ shook his head no. “The betrayal!” he gasped, putting a hand over his heart. Then, he scowled. “Okay, this time we both have to try it. No fake outs, TJ, and I mean it.” Cyrus attempted to say this in a threatening voice, which wasn’t very successful, although TJ agreed anyways.

“On my count this time,” Cyrus stated. Just before the countdown, Cyrus heard his phone go off multiple times next to him, most definitely texts from Buffy and Andi asking him to update them. They can be patient for a couple hours, he thought to himself, fumbling around for his phone without moving from his position, and shutting it off so they wouldn’t distract him. I might do something daring in a couple seconds, and now is not the time “One…” They both leaned into the horrid smoothie. “Two…” Cyrus’s eyes flickered up to meet TJ’s, causing them both to realize how close they were. “Three,” Cyrus announced in a breathless voice, and a second later, instead of lips meeting their straws, Cyrus leaned in before he could second-guess himself, TJ’s lips meeting Cyrus’s as he leaned in that the same time to close the distance as well.

It was as if they had both planned it, as if they were on the same wavelength. The kiss was a short but meaningful one, saying so many things neither of them had dared to say before and confirming their feelings towards each other. It felt like two pieces of puzzle fitting together, the perfect match.

They broke apart after a few seconds, foreheads touching and their eyes gleaming, saying things that neither of them seemed to be capable of saying with their own mouths. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of just staring at each and blushing, both started to giggle.

“If you don’t be careful Cyrus, you’re gonna catch a cold,” TJ said, smiling so wide he could hardly contain it.

Cyrus grinned. “Too bad,” he shrugged, leaning in to close the gap once more.

Four Days Later

“I told you that you were gonna get sick!” TJ chuckled.

Cyrus blew his nose and pouted. “Yeah, but I hoped that my immune system would prove you otherwise!” Cyrus sighed. “Clearly, it let me down,” he said, barely able to finish his sentence before sneezing. “Why can’t I see you right now?” he said with a frown, wanting to reach through the screen to see TJ in real life.

“Hm. Bless you, by the way,” TJ pretended to think for a second. “Maybe it’s because I had to come to school and you’re bedridden with a cold?” He suggested, smirking.

“Oh,” Cyrus said with a downcast face. “I guess that’s true.” Cyrus went to continue the conversation, but when Cyrus opened his mouth the speak again, he heard the bell signaling the final warning to get to class go off.

“As much as I hate to say it, I gotta get to class, Underdog,” TJ announced sadly, causing Cyrus to pout once again and make him want to stubbornly insist that TJ stay, but he accepted defeat instead, deciding to sleep in to make the school day go by as quickly as possible. “See you after school, boyfriend!” TJ exclaimed with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face, blowing him a kiss through the screen.

Cyrus pretended to catch it and put it on his heart, an equally big and goofy grin on his face. “You too, boyfriend. It’s my turn to choose the movie, by the way. Bring soup!”

#andi mack #tyrus #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #buffy driscoll #andi mack fanfic #andi mack fanfiction #tyrus fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #valentine's day gift exchange #andi mack gift exchange #//#i hope this finally posts hhhhhhhh

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kae-karo · 6 years ago

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knlalla’s fics of 2018

hello dears! now that the year’s coming to a close, i wanted to round up a quick post of all my fics from this year, please enjoy! i’ve highlighted my personal faves/the ones i’m most proud of :’) it’s been a wild year, so thanks so much to everyone for all your kind support!

one-shots

<2k

Phancakes (x) 1k (g) - the bois being domestic on pancake day (look okay we don’t have pancake day in america i have to live vicariously through dnp), insp by this tweet and the iconic vid no tw! just domestic fluff

did you make me a video for valentine’s day? (x) 1k (g) - Dan has a tradition, every year on Valentine's day he asks Phil the same question... no tw, minor angst

my talents include... (x) 1k (g) - Dan's whiny because Phil won't pay him any attention, so he sends out a passive-aggressive tweet. shoutout to @daliensgrandads on tumblr for bugging me to write this (instead of my current wip whoops) no tw, unless whiny!dan counts

Days like this (Security) (x) 800 (g) - Some days just aren’t good ones. tw depression

Balance (x) 1k (t) - Phil wants to post the bunk bed insta story, but Dan just wants to sleep. no tw

i missed you (x) 1k (g) - basically their history as told by dan no tw

the way you look tonight (x) 1k (g) - dan has a vid to edit. phil has other ideas. you have to listen to the way you look tonight by frank sinatra (youtube, spotify) whilst listening to this okay no tw

Chan (x) 1k (g) - insp by the anon that sent "demon hc: phil just chuckling fondly at dan thirsting over chan, while chan searches the bus and they’re both stood outside in pyjamas on the canadian border. idk, it’s just the kinda fond, secure bde that phil exudes these days" no tw

morning coffee (x) 1k (t) - inspired by the lovely anon who sent me "I dreamed Dan posted an insta story of Phil drinking coffee in bed and he was laying on his shoulder and I kept trying to show people how cute it was but no one cared, and when I woke up I remembered that you would care, and I realized it was a dream and now I’m a tad disappointed in my subconscious for trolling me." no tw

doing nothing often leads to the very best of something (x) 2k (g) - based on this (x) and a lil imagine i wrote (x) and expanded on so thanks to the lovely anon who originally sent "that pic phil posted of dan for his bday i think where dan is making a funny face and theres a nearly empty wine bottle in the background hhhhh that makes my demon heart drop" and to the lovely anon who asked for more! no tw

The House at Pooh Corner (x) 1k (g) - insp by the anon that sent "Full demon mode: Im just finishing up the Undertale series for the first time and all I can think about as Dan and Phil talk back in forth in their different character voices is how #blessed any future child of theirs is. Just imagine them snuggled up with a kid on each of their laps, reading Winnie the Pooh and doing voices for all the characters. RIP my heart." and the anon that sent "I've been having a really bad day. And something that I find really cute is imagining what Dan and Phil would be like as parents. (noting that you don't have to have kids ever to be a fulfilled human, just that people being good parents warms my heart). Hypothetically, what do you think it'd be like? I bet Dan would surprise himself by being a good dad. b/c he'd want his kid to feel free to be themselves and we all know he can be very protective when he needs to be." no tw, parent!phan

waffles (x) 2k (g) - phil goes to the 24hr diner with the hopes of seeing his favorite waiter (insp by me seeing a cute waitress at a diner. unfortunately none of the rest actually happened to me lmao) no tw, meet cute

it’s not living if it’s not with you (x) 800 (g) - dan and phil in bed at phil's parents' home, briefly reminiscing no tw

>2k

if we stopped shipping phan (x) 8k (g) - what would happen if the entire phandom just...stopped shipping phan? insp by this post about not shipping phan for a month cause they'd freak out. Happy Valentine's day, @phantasizeit! no tw, friends to lovers

sleepover in the moon room (x) 6k (g) - It's a tradition they've had for years (Note: this was written with the intent that it can be read completely platonically or non-platonically, whichever you prefer. It's not written to imply one way or another.) a platonic fic sorta lmao

printer error (x) 16k (m) - Dan's a fanfic writer who's desperate to meet the AmazingPhil, but one printing mishap could bring him closer to his idol than he ever anticipated. no tw, strangers to lovers with a bit of fic commentary

everyone knows that (x) 5.5k (g) - They fight more often than they don’t, but that’s just how relationships are. Everyone knows that. Phil bakes when he’s worried, especially when he's worried about Dan. And Phil bakes quite a lot. Dan hates that he's the cause of Phil's nervous baking, that Phil's always so stressed because of him, but Dan has a hard time feeling too bad when the outcome is a plate of warm cookies. no tw just some angst

The Seven Deadly Insta Stories (x) 7k (e) - A collection of seven short fics based on the seven deadly sins, as told in the form of insta stories dnp didn’t post. as a prompt from @phanfichallenge to post a fic every day this week, have my tour fic twist on the seven deadly sins!! no tw, tour fic(s)

i’d do anything to not be alone (x) 16k (t) - I don’t know why I bother waking up. It’s one of those nonessential activities, like eating or drinking or breathing. But I do it, because if I don’t, then nobody would water the plants. Phil left and Dan doesn't know why. But he has to take care of the plants, because Phil would be so disappointed if he came back and his plants had died. no tw, just lots of sadness n a bit of angst but it does, as always, end happily i promise

dark purple sky (darkness comes out to play) (x) 4k (e) - It’s not that he hates parties, it’s just that- well, no, he hates parties. And costumes. And showing up to parties in costumes, and showing up to parties decidedly not wearing costumes, and all the mumbled judgements that come along with doing so. And he hates sweets - really, the only things he does like about Halloween are the autumnal vibes and the cool weather, and experiencing those certainly did not require his friends dragging him out to some abandoned castle grounds for a half-assed late-night party. Or the one where Dan gets a blowjob from a complete stranger in the middle of the forest on Halloween. no tw really, strangers to lovers?, mostly just pwp

Properly (x) 10k (e) - Dan's been trying to take advantage of the all-hours pool for a late night swim, but some guy always shows up before him. no tw just pwp and some strangers to lovers

chaptered

Demons and Diners (x) 65k (m) - A broke Dan, on the run from his previous life, finds temporary shelter in an abandoned diner...for the night? tw depression, some blood mentions, but happy ending as always!

What day is it? (x) 32k (t) - It's the first day of the semester, and it's already gone to shit: Dan's late to his first class, finds out his mortal enemy, Phil Lester, is the TA, and gets rejected by the girl of his dreams, but at least tomorrow's a new day...right? Aka the one where Dan and Phil are stuck reliving the same day over and over and can't figure out why. no tw except some major angst, uni au, enemies to lovers

Axiom (x) 31k (t) - Axiom: a proposition that is not actually proved or demonstrated, but is considered to be self-evident and universally accepted. Dan's out for the umpteenth time at the bar for its weekly speed-dating night (not that they'd actually call it that). tw depression and a really cliche plot twist whoops but a happy ending, always

one second (x) 41k (e) - When you spend your life getting glimpses of a myriad of possible futures every time you get a little emotional, you tend to lose sight of reality, of the present; a bad day turns into a bad week because all you see are the worst-case futures. You get a little excited about something, things start to go your way, but then all you can see are the realities where things are even better. Life tends not to measure up. Or the one where Dan meets Phil on a plane, and maybe reality starts to become better than even Dan could predict. no tw really, strangers to lovers

slow-closing doors (x) 44k (t) - SECRETS, DRAMA, BETRAYAL (okay no betrayal dw). Phil's agreed to be an RA for his floor this year at uni, and he's determined to be the best RA ever - after all, this is these students' first year, he wants them to have the best year ever. Loosely inspired by Freeze Tag by Caroline B Cooney. tw minor violence nothing graphic just a lil scary, uni au strangers to lovers

Peter Phan (x) 37k (m) - Phil's woken in the middle of the night by a mysterious guy at his window who's intent on dragging him off on an adventure, and for some inexplicable reason, he agrees. Dan's stuck - quite literally - in his own head, and he's desperate for anyone to help him escape. Maybe, if he's lucky, that person could be Phil. He hopes it is. tw depression and suicide attempt, implied/referenced non-con, lots of angst, but definitely a happy ending, strangers to lovers

angel boy (x) 22k+ (e) - for the anon that sent "Oh fuck, now I need a smutty fanfic with twink!Dan taking it from behind with his angel wing tattoo (or real ones for that matter... actually, yes please, real ones. And Phil has a kink for being a bit rough with them... maybe Phil's a demon... fuuuck, someone write this for me?)" Aka the one where angel!Dan goes into a demon club looking for a bit of entertainment. no tw, my attempt at pwp turned into porn with a plot lmao

Sea Glass (x) 58k (t) - Phil arrives on the Isle of Man to house-sit at his family's cabin while it's repaired and sold. Except the cabin's in far worse shape than expected, and Phil's got to find somewhere else to stay no tw really but like i updated this a few times this year so i’m counting it

Exile (x) 172k (e) - Exile's a fucking bitch. Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest. Except it isn't abandoned, and the resident isn't exactly...normal...

#phanfic

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parkjmini · 7 years ago

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Outlier | 06

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 1748 genre: angst/fluff warnings: explicit language

[an]: this is just a quick filler chapter and it’s a little rushed :// im sorry for not updating for a while or being less frequent on tumblr. i had been super emo bc of college admissions but guys!! gr8 fucking news!! i got into my dream schools after sooo many rejections from other schools. im also not going to be updating/MIA for the upcoming week bc i have to practice for a 20 min presentation that will determine if i graduate jfc that im doing on friday ugh

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07

The hospital wouldn’t let you leave. Your conditions had gotten worse and they needed you to stay in the clinic for the doctors’ to closely monitor your behavior. That meant scheduled meals, frequent chemotherapy treatments, more blood tests. Even though you did nothing at the hospital, everything made you feel extremely exhausted and your arms were bruised from the constant needles being poked into your skin.

Living at the hospital meant no more art classes or school. You couldn’t finish your college classes at your institution because you couldn’t leave. The school suggested to finish the credits through online courses, but it only caused you to lash out more. You hated what the cancer had done to your life. It robbed it. You were just existing now.

You weren’t sure if you saw Jimin and Jennie less now or before during when you all lived together. They came to see you every day, if it wasn’t the both of them, it was one of them. You also saw Jungkook and Hoseok more often as well. You weren’t alone, because everyone’s visits managed to never cross.

Hoseok came usually around the late mornings to afternoons, mainly every other day or whenever he could. Jungkook came during the evenings, when Hoseok had to leave for his classes. Jimin came around the night, staying way past visiting hours. The nurses looked at him one night crying by your bedside and knew that visiting hours didn’t apply to him. Jennie came in the early mornings until Hoseok arrived and before she left for classes. The only time Jimin and Jennie visited together is when they didn’t have classes — those days were off limits for Hoseok and Jungkook.

The only times you’re alone is between the hours of when Jimin leaves and when Jennie arrives, but Jimin waits until you fall asleep to go home. You would say that your individual relationships grew more intimate, but you were afraid of Jennie and Jimin lacking moments.

Hoseok and Jimin wouldn’t speak about their friendship to you, so you were unsure if they were even best friends anymore. You couldn’t help but feel like all of this was your fault.

Hoseok was the one who sat with you during your chemo sessions because he’s the only one who has ever seen you that valuable. You wouldn’t allow anyone else to join you on your treatments and always asked them to wait for you in the room. Those days were the hardest to get through because the nurses did a poor job at distracting you of anything.

“Hey baby,–” Jimin walked in as a nurse was helping you up from your bed. She paused and smiled at him.

“Hello Jimin.” She gleamed, almost as if she thought he called her his baby. You rolled your eyes and fidgeted to get her attention.

“Hey, I’m going to a chemo session. I’ll be back in a few—”

Jimin set his things down and helped you on your other side, “–I’ll just join you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “It’s okay, stay here. I tell you this every time.”

“Yeah and I listen to you every time, which I knew after the first time, I shouldn’t because you come in a crying mess after it all. I know you let Hoseok go with you, but he’s not here now. I am, so let me be there for you.” Jimin stared intensely into your glossy eyes and the nurse waited for your consent before moving you.

A switch flipped in your heart. Those annoying heavy thuds of your heart went off. The redness in your cheeks radiating. You nodded and grabbed onto him for more balance.

He rambled on about how his day went as he walked you down the hall into one of the million rooms in the hospital. The nurse strapped you up to begin your session and Jimin sat on your other side.

Your mind always whirled before it all started, never really prepared for when the needle pierced through your skin. However, Jimin didn’t let you focus too much on it. He held onto your hand so tight and squeezed it repeatedly to draw your attention back to his presence. He talked continuously, merely rambles about the most random things that he encountered when driving or on campus.

He made you feel 100 times better, even way better than when Hoseok came with you. Maybe it was the fact that he was your boyfriend, so his touch and his voice calmed your anxiety.

“You really wouldn’t believe it, but Karen is going to go to her sorority formal with Trevor even though she already promised Garret. The guy was really pissed when he found out and started to rip each other’s throats out right in front of the lecture hall. I had my money on Garret, considering the dude is yolked, and Yoongi couldn’t give two shits about the fight but I made him bet anyways. He thought Garret was going to win too, but that’s not how a bet works, y’know? We can’t bet on the same person because who would owe who the money? But he didn’t care and said that he’d buy me food either way, which is great because that would mean that I win anyways.” Jimin kept his eyes locked on yours, rubbing his knuckles softly against your cheek to soothe you. His eyes never strayed to the massive syringe in your other arm or the nurse injecting it.

At that moment, he only knew you.

And you were unsure if the pain you felt was from the chemo or the burning sensation that came from your heart.

“…so who won?” You barely peeped out and Jimin lit up with excitement, stars in his beautiful, big eyes.

“Yoongi.” Jimin smiled and you gave him a confused expression. “It turns out Yoongi and Karen were already talking and had been secretly dating this entire time. She’d been trying to get him jealous by saying yes to all those guys, so he would step up and ask her to formal. He walked right in the middle of the fight, and I thought he was going to get punched into pulp, but they both calmly stepped away as Yoongi stood in between the two buff men. He told them that neither of them were taking Karen to formal and that he was already going with her because he’s her boyfriend. They all laughed until Karen jumped into his arms and kissed him in front of everyone, yelling ‘that’s my baby!’ and Yoongi threaten to cut them open for a lab, y’know how he’s a biology major, if they didn’t both leave them alone.”

“What?” You wanted to laugh, but you weren’t suppose to move. However, hearing Jimin’s melodic chuckle made you smile. He leaned in and gave your silly, yet confused face a quick peck.

“I told you that you weren’t going to believe it.” His toothy grin brighten up the dark, gloomy session room and you didn’t regret having him there with you one bit.

“What’s Jennie doing?” You asked as you fluffed Jimin’s raven hair. He rested on your chest as you both laid in your hospital bed. The only sounds were the monitor running and the light sounds of your breathing.

“Stuck at the internship.” He mumbled into your sheets.

“Why aren’t you there?” Staring at the ceiling, the street lamps cast shadows above you as people passed by on the street.

Jimin turned, his arm placed at either side of your body. His frown caught your attention as his face inched close to yours. “I quit.”

“You what?” You said rather loudly. He put his hand over your mouth to hush you. You licked him and he giggled at your wet touch. “Jimin, I told you not change anything in your life to accommodate to me.”

“Oh, but you know I love accommodating to the love of my life. Plus, I didn’t even need it. I have other opportunities waiting for me, babe. You mean a lot more to me than an internship.” He explained.

You rolled your eyes, in a playful manner. “Well don’t go shitting on Jen.”

“Her values are different. Also, the people there are crazy about her and rave about her existence.” Jimin laughed and you cupped his squishy cheeks.

“Says the one that is also just as crazy about her.”

“But I don’t rave about her existence, that’s the difference. It’ll make her head too big and then it’ll roll right off her shoulders.” You giggled and kissed him sweetly.

“I love you. I love Jen. I love us.” You marveled and your boyfriend’s glossy eyes stared back at you. His hands held onto yours as he kissed your dainty finger tips.

“I’m sorry for everything I put you through, (Y/N). I’ve been an incredibly horrible boyfriend to you and you deserved so much more attention from me. I love you, I really do. When Jennie suggested the idea to me about bringing you into our relationship, I became hesitant because I knew I wasn’t capable of spreading my love enough for two people.” His tears ran down his round, supple face.

Jimin wouldn’t let go of your hands, so you leaned in to kiss his forehead instead. “So.. what changed?”

“You changed me, as cheesy as it sounds, (Y/N), you changed my concept of love. You were always my close friend, who I wanted to protect with my life. After you joined us, I wanted to do more than protect you. I wanted to love you and for fuck sakes, did that hit me like a truck. I was so scared of never showing you enough of how much I loved you and then my worst fears actually came true. I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

Seeing Jimin cry had been a rare sight, and you hoped to never see him cry ever again. It hurt too much to watch the pain and sadness ruin his happiness. You were speechless and felt horrible for blaming the two for your own emotions. “Don’t apologize, Jimin. Just prove it to me.”

“You fucking bet I will. I’m going to take care of you until you’re sick of me.” Jimin chuckled, his voice turning raspy as it got more into the night. He cuddled back into your side and hugged you tightly. Your eyelids fell over your tired eyes and you silently wished that you had more time to live.

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