#his specific tag that i have for him might be.........
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enigmaris · 53 minutes ago
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Lois writes the article. The Justice League freaks out. Investigations are done, meetings are held. In the mean time, a suspected connection between ghosts and the lazurus pits means that there is a very specific person who wants a one on one with Phantom even though all of the heroes agreed to not approach phantom until the anti ecto acts are gone. Jason never follows the rules anyway:
“Daniel Phantom, do not even think about it.”
Her tone of voice made every bone in his body yearn to turn invisible immediately, Lois jumped up trying to catch him. Danny grinned and got ready to fly away, a game of tag would keep Lois from questioning him! Right before Danny’s plan could commence, the sound of Lois's phone ringing cut it off. Danny froze as Lois pulled out her phone and looked at the screen.
“It’s Batman. Wonder what he could possibly need.”
Danny let himself fly all the way to the ceiling, until his back was pushed up against it. He looked down as Lois answered her phone, helpfully putting it on speaker.
“You’re on speaker Bats, what can Lois Lane and her plucky new intern do for you?”
“Intern?” A voice Danny didn’t know answered back. “I thought Superman was the only one for you. I guess you move fast, Lois.”
“Nightwing.” Lois said. “What are you doing calling from Batman’s phone?”
“If B didn’t want me to use his phone, he should have called you himself. You know how he is, Lois. Won’t ever ask for help unless he’s about to die and not even then.” Nightwing snarked back. “Gotham’s got a bit of a supernatural concern that I think I need a consult from your intern for.”
Danny tilted his head, not moving closer to Lois when she looked up at him.
“What sort of concern? I’ll pass along your message if it's interesting enough. My intern’s got enough on his plate getting me coffee to watch after you birds.”
“Fair enough.” Nightwing allowed. “We think one of our own is ecto-contaminated. To be entirely fair we all might be a bit, not that we’ve gotten our hands on a GIW scanner. The real concern is with Red Hood though. I know your report said that ecto-contamination is harmless but Red Hood has had some interesting side effects since he took a bath in some glowing green goop.”
“A bath?” Danny asked, his voice echoing out from the ceiling.
There was a pause on the other end of the call before Nightwing spoke again.
“Yes. A bath. Do the words Lazurus Pit mean anything to you, Miss Lane’s Intern?”
“Never heard of it.” Danny said, trying not to let himself sound ashamed by it. “But I don’t like the name. Sounds spooky.”
“Aren’t you a spook?”
“Different kind of spook.” Danny defended.
“Well. We think it might actually be the same sort of spook actually. The Lazurus Pits are pools of glowing green liquid, no one knows where they came from. There are a dozen or so dotted around the planet. If a sick or dying person goes into it, they are healed sometimes with side effects. If a healthy person goes in, they die.” Nightwing said. “Sometimes if people go into, they don’t come out again.”
Danny... might actually know what those are. Huh.
“What kind of side effects?”
"Homicidal rage. Memory loss. Temporary increased strength. Glowing eyes.”
“Okay. And how long has Red Hood being dealing with this?”
“On and off for about five years.” Nightwing answered.
“I might actually know what’s going on.” Danny said. “But I’d have to see him. I’m not like a ghost doctor or anything, but if it's what I think it is, then I can fix it for sure.”
“Fix it?” Another voice from the phone asked.
Danny could hear a scuffle over the phone as two people wrestled for it. He exchanged looks with Lois until the second voice seemed to get the phone under his control completely.
“What do you mean by fix it?” the second voice demanded.
“Erm. Who is this?”
“Red Hood. Who the fuck else?”
“I don’t know who has access to Batman’s phone dude, chill.”
“Don’t tell me to chill. Tell me what you mean by fix it.”
"Dude. I have ice powers I absolutely can tell you to chill.” Danny shot back making Lois snort.
"Start. Talking.”
“He wasn’t kidding about the anger issues huh?” Danny asked Lois instead of answering. Danny grinned when he heard a growl over the phone. “Look. Red Hood. I don’t know if it is what I think it is. I need to see you in person before I can tell you anymore. Do you know how many glowing green goops there are in the universe?”
“Do you?” Nightwing asked, voice muffled as he was further from the phone. Danny listened as Red Hood told Nightwing to ‘shut the fuck up’ with a hiss.
"I’ll send Lane an address in Gotham. Meet me there in an hour.” Red Hood instructed.
“How do you know I’m free in an hour? I’m a busy intern you know. You’re not being very polite.”
Danny could hear the teeth grinding on the other end. He grinned as Red Hood took in a deep breath through his nose.
“Can we please meet in an hour?” Red Hood asked.
“Yeah sure. I’ll fly by.”
“Now what do we say to people who do nice things for us?” Lois asked. “Especially poor lowly interns who have an entire branch of the government hunting them?”
“Would you like me to blow up a GIW base for you?” Red Hood asked.
"Hood no!” Nightwing shouted.
“Hood yes.” Hood said.
The two vigilantes started arguing with each other, so Lois just rolled her eyes and ended the call.
If Lois Lane had a nickle for every time she had to help an overpowered boy from the midwest with the power of journalism, she'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but its weird that its happened twice.
Danny watched as Lois pulled out her phone and pulled up a recording app.
“What are you doing?”
“You came to a journalist and are surprised to get an interview?” She asked him, her tone clearly joking. “What you’ve given me here is great kid, but newspaper clippings and copies of federal laws don’t get the public’s attention. I need a story, Phantom’s the story.”
“I’m not Phantom.”
Lois looked at him, less than impressed. Slowly, she turned the screen of her computer until it was visible to both of them. There, in full clarity, was a front-page story from his hometown newspaper. ‘Danny Phantom saves Bus Full of Children!’ and there was a picture of him in his ghost form, his face crystal clear on her screen.
"Phantom’s a ghost. I’m just a dumb kid.” Danny tried again.
Lois pinched the bridge of her nose with her right hand and muttered to herself.
“Why do all you midwestern boys have the same schtick?”
“I’m sorry?” Danny said, unsure if he should be apologizing or not.
“Changing your last name from Fenton to Phantom does not a secret identity make kid. It might work for most civilians, but anyone familiar with the hero game will clock you from a mile away.”
“I’m not Phantom.”
“Sure, kid. But I’m sure you have a way for me to interview him, right? Because I want to talk to him before I do anything else about your town.”
Danny hugged himself and looked down at his knees.
“Is it really that bad?”
“Not the worst I’ve seen. Wonder Woman’s is paper thin. I'm pretty sure most people in DC know who she is outside of the cape and just don’t say anything because she scares them.”
Danny snorted involuntarily at that, looking back up at the woman.
“What’s going on in your town, Phantom? Why come to a journalist and not the Justice League?”
“The Anti-Ecto Acts got passed like a year ago. They state that only being that produces or contains ectoplasm above a certain amount is considered non-sapient and is to be turned over to the government for disposal.” Danny said. “I put the whole thing in there for you to read, but it's long. Amity Park has a lot of ectoplasm in it. It's seeped into the air and water. Normal human people have it in them now. At first, those agents were just firing at me whenever I finished a ghost fight. I could deal with that. Their aim is terrible anyway. But then they figured out that humans can become contaminated with ectoplasm. They decided that meant the entire town was under their jurisdiction. They've decided that means that no one in town counts as human anymore, that we don’t have rights, that they’re doing us a favor by not just exterminating the entire town like the law says.”
Danny leaned forward, putting his hands on the desk in front of Lois Lane. He looked right into her bright eyes and spoke seriously.
“When it was just ghosts under attack, I didn’t think anyone would care. I’ve tried calling the Justice League for help, but they’ve brushed me off. People need to know what’s happening. Anyone can become ecto-contaminated. You just have to be in the right place at the wrong time. It’s not right what’s happening to Amity, Miss Lane. I came to you because if anyone could get the world to listen, to believe, then it's got to be you.”
And Lois Lane smiled. It was a proud, eager smile. The kind of smile Danny had seen on Sam right after she convinced the school to serve a vegan lunch. He barely held back from shivering.
“Well then, Mr. Phantom.” Lois said, before tapping onto the recording app on her phone and starting a recording. “Let’s begin.”
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markantonys · 2 days ago
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new wording from rafe on the reasoning for moving mat to tanchico: in the waste mat would have felt like "an appendage to rand's story" but in tanchico "he gets to have his own POV in the story, he gets to have his own emotional arc, he has new characters to interact with"
poor mat crying in the corner because all he wants is to be an appendage to rand's story djkfjg born to be a sidekick but forced to be a main character! the mention of mat having new characters to interact with in tanchico absolutely could have meant just elayne and nynaeve since they are new characters in terms of mat interactions, but i can't help but think it might be a hint to brand-new tanchico-based characters (i.e. tuon, or some other seanchan at least) that mat gets to interact with. rafe also did start this sentence by saying this was "a big part of the reason" for moving mat, so maybe not the WHOLE reason for moving him! and mat having his own emotional arc in tanchico certainly does make it sound like there's a mat-specific story being told there, not just him tagging along with the nynaeve story of hunting liandrin and moggy (and a mat-specific story that isn't solely the finn trip, since he would've had that story in the waste storyline too, so that alone wouldn't explain why tanchico offered him a greater individual emotional arc).
we have seen VERY little from the tanchico storyline so far, just non-specific shots that show off the ambience, and ryma is reported to be returning but wasn't present either during the shredding or during the falme group's tar valon inn scene, which could mean she didn't get freed by the gang in falme and is still with the seanchan. so i really think there's going to be a seanchan presence of some kind in tanchico (as is the case in the book) which they want to be a surprise and that's why they're being so careful not to show off much of the tanchico trip, and if there's a seanchan presence in tanchico and mat and min are both going there, it feels almost wasteful for that presence to not include tuon. but only time will tell! mat and min at least meeting a general seanchan character like egeanin would still be helpful for their future, but tuon would be the most helpful.
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hitlikehammers · 2 days ago
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WIP Weekend Wednesday
I was tagged by @hbyrde36, who I have to thank first for the tag, second for the patience in my response, and third for tagging me back into the tag-circle in general. I’ve missed doing this!
MAKE ME WRITE!!!
Rules: Send me an emoji in an ask, and I'll write 3 sentences from that WIP!
💎 Wearing Only This
☀️(not your average) Morning After
🌱 Vague Persephone/Hades Steddie Flangst
🍆Dildo!Husbands Side-Drabble
🍑 Show Your Fucking Feelings Productively, [REDACTED]
🔥 Pocketful of [REDACTED]
😬 Soulmate Words AU (those are their LAST words)
✨ Made of Light—Consneual-Soulmate AU aka FUCK GOOGLE SIDEWAYS WITHOUT LUBE YES STILL
🍿Opposites Attract Complement
🍐 [REDACTED]
🥃Steve’s No Good Very Bad Future-Life
👾 Cozy Monsterfucking
⚡️Steve Gets Stuck Upside Down
🦇 Kas(ish)!Eddie AU (or IdiotSavesIdiotSaveIdiot)
🎸Rockstar Eddie Comes Back to His Stevie (sequel to this)
☕️ Bridgerton AU
❤️‍🩹Kill For You, Die For You, Live For You?
🏒 Hockey AU Selfcare
🎲 Pre-S4 Steddie Soulmates
🪩 Steddie in the Gay Club (sequel to this)
This isn’t even all of them fuck my LIFE
SNIPPET FROM ‘☕️☕️☕️’
Three things occur before everything begins to fall apart.
These three things are not the only things, of course, but they are notable, and easy to isolate and discern where all else lies in a monstrous cacophony of failures and confusions, misconstruation and misstepping, words spoken and swallowed before they could reach the air on all sides with few capable of piercing the ceaseless drum of Eddie’s pulse, his heart sore and tired for more reasons than he could name even if he were keen to try, brave enough to own it in its wholeness, his shameful ruination of all he’d worked and hoped for, of all his dear sister so deserved: all for his own weaknesses.
All for his own lacking.
If there is any sense to what comes in its entirety—Eddie truly doubts the existence of such a sensible through-line at all—but in theory, if it exists, Eddie would not know it, could not hear it.
His pulse does not even see fit to calm in the dark, and give him peace to sleep: thunders on, and on, and on, and—
Three things happen, that he can grasp and name between the rest that swirls relentless like that beat beneath his ribs. Three things.
And they’re each of them marked specifically by the hawk-shrewd eye of one Lady Sinclair.
———
The first, of course, revolves around the ball.
Eddie chafes at the attire demanded by such affairs, but he will not pretend to possess so little vanity as to care nothing for the figure he cuts.
He will very much pretend he is not watching from the corner of his eye for any hint of attention to his aforementioned figure, by one pair of eye in particular.
Said pretending is something he clings to determinedly when those eyes spare him not even a glance as they approach, focused solely at Eddie’s side:
“Miss Christine, might I have your first dance?”
And of course Chrissy is the picture of demurity, reaching her gloved hand for the viscount’s where it’s stretched, offered across Eddie where he stands as if he’s furniture, mere window dressing.
As it should be, he reminds himself. As it should be.
“Certainly, my lord,” she nods and follows and…Eddie cannot deny that they cut a handsome figure. Together.
It is harder to pretend away the manner in which his stomach twists for the sight.
“Have you been enjoying your time alone with the viscount?” Lady Sinclair sidles up to him once Chrissy is on the floor, in the arms of the viscount, as Eddie’s eyes follow them unblinking—
To ensure the well-keeping of his sister. Of course.
He forces himself to turn to Lady Sinclair, to raise a quizzical brow; she can’t…she cannot possibly suspect what he himself will not full acknowledge or fit to a name; she certainly can have no inkling of the morning in the garden, nor the evening the library, she—
“Yesterday’s hunt.”
And now it’s Lady Sinclair raising a brow his direction, as if his hesitation has created its own suspicions.
Gods be damned.
“Oh,” Eddie says, dumbly as possible, sod it all to hell; “yes, it was,” he tries to collect himself, alongside his emotions—tries to fit something genuine into the words, into how he answers, with:
“The sights are most impressive, indeed.”
He surprises himself with just how genuine it comes out; he shakes himself for the probable reasons, in truth, that underpin his honesty.
He’s proud that, at the very least, he doesn’t not feel himself flush for it—no warmer than the room itself, if nothing else.
“Hmm,” Lady Sinclair narrows her gaze at him, a little too curious, a little too shrewd, for more than just a little too long as he feels a prickling sensation beneath his collar, the oddest inkling that he’s being dissected somehow—before she huffs and takes her leave, keeping him in the corner of her eye until someone else catches her attention and Eddie can breathe again, Jesus Christ.
He blesses the breath he’s able to take, if less-than-halfheartedly, given he’s only afforded less than a handful of them at all before a sudden swirl of skirts invades his space accompanied by a familiar giggle and a hand clutched to his arm.
“Lord Harrington has gone to get me a lemonade,” Chrissy flitters to Eddie’s side in haste, leaning in near-conspiratorially, as a song’s final notes echo before the next begins, her presence beside him almost vibratory.
“How thoughtful,” and Eddie does smile, because it is thoughtful, and she looks radiant like this. She was always a diamond, but he suspects this is the real glimmer that caught the royal eye.
“We’ve just finished our second dance,” Chrissy goes on, leaning in and grabbing Eddie’s hands in her excitement as she murmurs lower:
“I’m quite certain he’d not have asked for two without…intentions.”
And Eddie is ever-so-grateful for his warmup lap with Lady Sinclair, because he can speak the next words that come with his whole heart, and section off any other feelings—no matter how much space they’re coming to take, whatever they are—and keep them cordoned away from tainting his joy for his sister.
He does not dwell upon that joy being less than he would like in the first place; less than she deserves.
“I am most pleased to hear it.”
“You must dance with him.”
🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖
No-Pressure Tags: @hbyrde36 @pearynice @madigoround @penny00dreadful @wynnyfryd @oh-stars @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero @henderdads @hairstevington
aaaannnd @WhoeverWantsToPlay!
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kurtmustdie · 1 year ago
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i have a lot of unorganized miguel headcanons that float around my brain at times but since i usually think of them at night and forget about them the next morning im just going to continuously update this post probably? anyway here are the ones that i do remember
i will either leave this in my drafts and update it when i want to or ill just edit/reblog with new stuff idk
edit after i stopped typing:
ok its time
fuck you
posts
identity headcanons first, because idk getting those out of the way feel free to get pissed off about these ill just block you 💖
trans man. he/him pronouns. probbably doesnt care if you use gender neutral terms for him because like... why would he, he has a multiverse to stare at
asexual, can't really figure out of i see him as being aromantic as well, i personally just think he's too busy to think about it atm but i dont think hes incapable of it. maybe arospec, like demiro or greyro or smth idk, i just know this mf is asexual.
he is autistic (and probably undiagnosed?) i will die on this hill as if i was a warrior cat defending the sunningrocks i will commit an oakheart fight me on this and i will throw rocks at you and then promptly get crushed by rocks as well (is that warrior cats spoilers um oops sorry)
now to the rest- that i remember- i have not read the comics yet so if some of these are like.. actually canon lmk because that would be really funny
this one might be a hot take but he does not hate miles. he wants to look out for him and definitely either currently regrets or is going to regret what happened in that chase scene. i genuinely doubt he hates any of the spider-gang hes just very, very worried about the multiverse. in his head thats the only way. (i am hoping and pleading that miguel and miles make up somehow, maybe miles doesnt forgive miguel and that totally understandable and would make sense but pLEASE writers i would die if you kept them as being rivals i genuinely would)
he hates Audrey Hepburn, fangoria, harry houdini, AND croquet. he CAN swim, he CAN dance, and he DOES know Karate. he still wont make it though. sorry man.
since hes from the future i dont think he'd be terribly confused by current slang/terms, hed more look at it like we see terms from like... the 80-90s or anything before that as "oh wow people used to say that? huh. interesting."
im going back on a headcanon ive had since i saw the movie im SoRRYYY but he cant curse. from what ive seen from the comics he uses replacements like "shock" and "bithead", thats it. maybe he says fuck on accident or in spanish (he technically kind of does depending on how you see "Ay Coño" being said but thats beside the point).
probably a blue eyes hater idk he just gives me the vibe of saying "jesus christ your eyes are way too blue, get contacts please im begging you stop looking at me" which is probably why him and gwen have so much beef.
i dont give a shit about what the movie says his fangs are not retractable fuck you. (he still has crooked teeth though i will never forget about those <3 )
autism be damned my guy can work a grill 🔥🔥🔥🔥
a lot of people cant really tell if hes pissed or not by his tone sometimes. is this projection? yeah, next question.
he hardly ever sleeps but when he does its like hes dead (at least when its dead quiet, which again, isnt often so he hardly ever gets a good nights sleep). you'd have to use a fucking blowtorch to the face to wake him up.
i also see him as not only having hypersensitive vision but also having elevated senses period. hearing, smell, touch, etc. probably the main reason he sits in the dark with no other noise.
branching off of that he frequently gets migraines of things get to stressful or too loud or if anything is very off about his schedule.
arachnophobe. ha.
cat person.
cat person as in he likes cats not like hes a catboy.. i shouldnt specify that actually that just makes it worse but i will anyway because tumblr hellsite will be tumblr hellsite
he partially likes lego peter because his daughter really liked lego.
ok but like think about it he'd probably be really good at taking legos apart with those claws. like imagine. it'd be nothing for him.
hasnt spoken to gabriel in years. he cant bring himself to reach out and when gabriel does he just doesnt have the energy to try and respond. he has no idea how to, especially now.
this is very specific but he stims a lot with his claws. like extend and retract over and over absentmindedly (mainly because thats what i'd do if i had claws imagine how fun that would be)
he usually bottles up all the emotions that he has, including anger. kind of explains why he lost it in the chase scene in my head because he reached a boiling point. he hates talking to people about his problems.
empanadas are his safe food, also theyre just easy to eat when your mouth is a little funky (i would know i have some fucked up braces theyre great for that 10/10), its mostly just easier on his fangs.
definitely horrible at the whole self are thing. he just forgets, all the time. would forget to breathe if it wasnt involuntary
if you say anything he doesnt particularly like (eg "hey bro are you okay do you wanna talk") he'll just stare at you with his rat eyes like 👁️👁️ until you stopped idk what im saying.
he is a bit touch starved, depending on his mood he'll let people touch him in a friendly (emphasis on friendly. friendly friendly friendly dont take it any other way :/) way.
OH I almost forgot about this one: he hisses. some spiders hiss. so does he. vampire furry energy
he also gets pissed when people call him a vampire so uh... im counting my days oops.
will go out and sit in the rain. (wait would it still rain in the future? is the climate still fucked in his timeline or nah)
like "ah, its water time" and goes out to sit like this:
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Man if only there was a rain filter
that is all i have for now maybe if something else comes up ill reblog with new stuff >:)
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thekittyokat · 10 months ago
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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medicalunprofessional · 10 months ago
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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shalom-iamcominghome · 6 months ago
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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nabaath-areng · 1 month ago
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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welcometogrouchland · 29 days ago
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I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#NOT character tagging. for reasons j feel are obvious#honestly i shouldn't even be posting this here I'm responding more to twitter sentiments but they'd cook me on there if i posted this#anyway sometimes i think ppl (again the twt ppl specifically. tumblr timsteph fans mostly normal) are doing that thing-#-where you get so deep into a hyper online discourse cycle that you end up reproducing mainstream sentiments from scratch#''let men date women!'' this is what some of you sound like when talking about timsteph to me /j#there's a lot to critique about how Tim's been written since canonizing his bisexuality!#personally I've noticed (and seen other ppl notice to) that some writers seem unaware that tim is bi#not in the sense of making him straight but in the sense that they seem to think he's gay bc none of his relationships w women-#-are acknowledged as having been. relationships#or if they are there's an idea that tim was using them to 'hide from his true self' or something#genuinely problematic sentiment!#i also don't really find the ''he should cheat on bernard!'' jokes funny#like lets bffr Tim's cheating was NEVER acknowledged as cheating he was seen as a good all-american boy#so like. bringing that trait back and acknowledging it as cheating ONLY after he comes out as bi? i get it- ironic homophobia but-#-i really don't like it!#anyway. close your eyes and focus on the daminika like the rest of us /j#or the stephcass jason dancing image which will live in my head and heart forever despite arguably being ooc as well <3#bc it's funny <3 and at least I'm self aware <3#also much MUCH more importantly DC POWER SPECIAL EXTREMELY GOOD GO READ IT FOR DUKE#and jace but i haven't read future state yet bc i tried and got. extremely bored 😞 sorry jace you seem really cool#but he's great in the story dynamjc duo with duke. loved it love them want more#special was sold out at my comic shop tho so i couldn't grab a copy. might hit the other shop in town today to see#BOOST THE NUMBERS WE NEED A POWER COMPANY ONGOING GANG#anyway yeah. tim & steph thoughts. you can just say you like them you don't have to do all that
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wisteria-lodge · 2 days ago
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fun tags from @riddlesmoon
#first off i gotta say i always thought the prophecy seemed barty flavoured bc it talks abt “his servant being chained”# but then i remembered barty only “escapes” after the world cup? i think? so the timing wouldnt match up?#not too sure abt that but wouldnt be hard to say he did break out that night so hell yeah barty!
In order to make it work, I'd just say like - that was the first night he was 100% able to throw of the Imperius curse, even though he wasn't able to escape the house until later.
#neville and ginny being harrys trio buddies is pretty fun and id love a more explored ginny esp one who isnt as high strung around a girl#wait actually what if she doesnt like harry. like it can go either way#like with guy harry theres a crush aspect#with girl harry you COULD say she wants to be her friend so bad a la draco
Draco also... does a lot to completely rub Harry the wrong way. Like he reminds him of Dudley, I'm honestly not sure how Draco could have screwed up that interaction MORE. 11-year-old Ginny might still be in awe of Girl!Harry, but probably in a way she processes as more 'cool babysitter' and less 'crush.' And then she'd get to school, and see that Harry's hanging out with Neville (who's a little hapless and bumbling) which would make Ginny comfortable. And Harry *likes* Ginny - he thinks she's funny, and cool, and good at quidditch. Especially if Harry doesn't really gel with Gryffindor girls in her own year, I think she and Ginny would get really close - even just because of proximity.
because this new trio replaces the silver trio which had luna#and i do think an early luna harry friendship would be really good#Neville is also an outcast while ginny isnt so they could have that going
Ginny doesn't have her glow-up until like Book 5, so at this point I think the dynamic would be Harry, Neville and Ginny being weirdo buddies. But... weird in the way that's a little cool. Like you look at then and they've very clearly got their own thing going on, and their thing looks interesting.
It would be really fun if Luna got added to the group earlier than in canon... but I'm not totally sure how. I look at the interactions between Ginny and Luna on the train in Book 5... and Ginny is polite sure, and is aware of Luna is in a very 'don't worry about her, she's harmless' kind of way. She does call her "Loony." But... just doesn't seem to know her that well? It's very 'we've interacted briefly in a friendly fashion at a few neighborhood barbecues.' And the Lovegoods are sort of the Weasley's neighbors, so that makes sense. It's Luna joining (and being a pretty integral part of...) the DA, and also the way she and Harry get along so well, that really raises Luna in Ginny's estimation.
#idk about it not working in the chamber tho like would harry destroy the diary first before leaving it? but anw that would be#a rly funny way of making a more slytherin involved harry. fucking pet basilisk#whats it gonna eat now its awake bruh
My thought is that Voldemort's inability to physically touch Harry, which is something he only fixes in Book 4, would prevent him from physically possessing Harry. Also, he does try and fail to possess Harry in Book 5, so I'm just going to go with that. It'd be a little anti-climatic, but I think that Tom's plan just *doesn't work,* and Harry just brings the intact diary to Dumbledore.
And are you kidding. Hagrid would be on CLOUD NINE if Harry had a pet basilisk. They would would take care of it together, it would actually be so cute. Instead of the bast-ended skrewts in book 4, it would be "we're all going to take care of Harry's basilisk."
(Draco would possibly die from envy. and write many MANY letters about this to his father.)
(but there's nothing Lucius can do, since Dumbledore has dirt on him, for this specific thing.)
What do you think a genderswapped Harry Potter (Harriet Potter?) would've been like?
For starters, I don't think Ron would have bonded with her on the train as easily as he did. Young Ron is honestly pretty uncomfortable/awkward around girls... unless he's able to put them into a category like "little sister" (which doesn't count.) Or "Hermione" (which doesn't count.) It's kind of a plot point in Book 4 that it takes him a while to realize she's a girl he could potentially ask to the dance.
The only way Ron is bonding with Harry on the train is if Harry is a HUGE tomboy... which I don't think is the case, because Petunia is dressing Harry at that point, and would be dressing her pretty femme (because Petunia is so strict Gender Binary herself. Instead of wearing Dudley's old clothes, Harry's probably wearing Petunia's old clothes.) I really don't think Harry would have been treated better/all that much differently at the Dursley's if she were a girl. Maybe less physical bullying from Dudley... but Dudley honestly doesn't manage much physical bullying as it is, because Harry is so much faster than he is.
If anything, Girl!Harry would have just reminded Petunia even MORE of Lily, and stirred up even MORE complicated emotions. And we'd get even more of live in chef/maid Cinderella!Harry. It would all feel very Matilda.
I actually think that Harry would be at kind of loose ends on the Hogwarts express, and get sucked into the search for Trevor the toad as something to do, so she would end up bonding with Neville. Hermione would be there too but well - Hermione rubbed Harry the wrong way at first in canon, and it would be even more the case here. They're both (functionally) muggleborn girls - but Hermione is SO much better prepared, and has SUCH loving parents, and won't shut up about any of this. In a way that Canon!Harry kind of fixates on Draco for ending up with his Ideal Life, it's possible that Girl!Harry might fixate more on Hermione.
11-year-old Draco would have treated Girl!Harry exactly the same, meeting her at Madame Malkin's and later on the train. He'd still have his obsession with her, and yeah, it probably does read as more of a crush to his Slytherin buddies... but I really do not see that stopping him. If his father can't get him to be normal to Harry, then that's just how it's going to be. Harry still gets Sorted into Gryffindor. But I don't see her getting close with the other Gryffindor girls: Lavender and Parvati just have very different personalities. And Harry and Hermione... are both very intense people who work best when they're able to take breaks from each other. In Book 4 when Harry is exclusively hanging out with Hermione, he comments that she's not as *fun* as Ron. And we see that dynamic again in Book 7 when it's just the two of them in the tent. Like they're incredibly effective, but seem to be wearing each other down a little. I think that forcing young (less emotionally mature) Harry and Hermione to be roommates would just end up with them getting on each other's nerves.
Hermione might get pulled into the friend group when Harry and Neville need help researching Nicholas Flamel, but she could easily stay more of a supporting character or even a frenemy in this version. Girl!Harry would still be the youngest seeker in a century. (Draco would be even more motivated to steal Neville's Remembrall if Neville was Harry's best friend... so that face-off would have gone down exactly the same.) Once Harry is actually on the team, I could see her falling in more with the upperclassmen, and hanging out with Fred, George, Lee, and Angelina (especially if they put together that she's a bit lonely.) It could be Harry, Neville, maybe Hermione, maybe the twins solving the puzzles at the end of Book 1. They'd still suspect Snape, who... would honestly be just a slightly different flavor of antagonistic and weird to Harry, if she were a girl.
Second year, Ginny would be Sorted into Gryffindor and I do think that Girl!Harry and Ginny would get along great, absolutely be bros, especially if they bond over quidditch and Harry can get more of a sense of Ginny's actual personality. I have to think 11-year-old Ginny would be much less awkward around Harry if she were a girl.
Which would be really intense actually, because Ginny would have shown up to school with the the Diary, and it's... sort of important to the plot that she's isolated and has no friends. If she shared it with Harry as a cool thing to look at - Harry would ABSOLUTELY get obsessed with it.
And since Harry's a much better *get* for Tom (Tom talks about being *so* pleased when powerful, important, future nemesis Harry starts writing to him instead of Ginny...) I think you just get Possessed!Harry opening up the Chamber of Secrets. Also, would Harry have a crush on Tom? We know that Canon!Harry thinks he's very handsome, and Tom Riddle can absolutely turn on the charm when he wants to, and might be inclined to play it slightly differently for a girl. He'd work VERY hard to to get Harry to distrust her friends. Really, you'd just get Harry's plot about being isolated and possessed by Voldemort in Book 5 being moved to Book 2. Tom would get Harry to write "her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever" on the wall, and lure her down to the Chamber of Secrets.
However. I do think that Lily's magic would make it impossible for Tom to actually drain Harry's life, although he would try. It's be like the moment at the end of Book 5 where Voldemort tries to possess Harry, and Harry fights him off. So... I think Harry just wakes up in the Chamber with a basilisk she can control, since of course she's still a parseltongue.
The question is... what happens to the Diary, now that Harry knows it's dangerous? I'm thinking that when Harry disappears, Ginny freaks out and tells one of her older brothers, who tells Arthur, who tells Dumbledore. Dumbledore now has Harry and a Horcrux that still works... and it seems like if you've got school-age Tom Riddle right there, that would be a much easier way to get an answer to the question 'how many horcuxes did he plan on making?' So he'd get a head start on that project.
Harry now effectively is the Heir of Slytherin. She can go to the Chamber whenever she wants, and the basilisk is just her familiar I guess, which is cool. I could see a Harry who gets more *interested* in Salazar Slytherin after this. I don't think this helps her relationship with Draco any, who would literally die of envy if he ever found out that Harry Potter was hanging out in the secret Slytherin Chamber, able to control a millennia-old snake. But Harry might try to pick like, Theo's brain or something.
I don't see all that much about Book 3 changing until the climax - because the crew Harry takes down to Hagrid's after dark *would* be different. Neville, Ginny (not the Twins - I think they give Harry the Map and peace out, they've got their own things going on in the background and don't want to hang out with their much younger sister.) Maybe Theo? I could see him taking on a very Hermione-ish support role.
But that's also a problem, because if Ron isn't there, Scabbers isn't with him. And if Scabbers isn't with Ron - I don't think Remus notices Peter on the map, and so just stays inside and drinks his Wolfsbane, which means Snape doesn't go down. And since Sirius' target was never *actually* Harry... I think this is just a universe where Sirius first-degree-murders Peter, and doesn't have a confrontation with Harry at all.
I do think Voldemort still comes back though. Trelawney would still have made her prophecy ("His servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight... the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master.") But in this universe the prophecy would refer to Barty jr, finally starting to throw off the Imperius curse. Which we know he does do, at around this time.
Bertha Jorkins still goes on her trip to Albania, and I think... Voldemort just possesses her the way he did Quirrell. It's probably easy to do after someone's been sort of fried by a memory wipe. Also, being in her head, I have to assume he's going to eventually gets some inkling of the fact that Barty is still alive, and so goes looking for him. Harry is still at the Quidditch World Cup because she's friends with Ginny, her scar is still hurting (she probably writes to Lupin about this, instead of Sirius, but Lupin gives her pretty similar advice. He will have still left Hogwarts, because Snape will have still outed him as a werewolf at the end of the year.)
Harry still ends up as Champion... although I'm thinking Big Sister Fleur would be a little more protective of Girl!Harry than Boy!Harry. Also... I think Harry just straight-up has a crush on handsome, nice, good at Quidditch Cedric. Rita could write about the Harry/Cedric/Cho love triangle, instead of the Harry/Hermione/Krum love triangle.
(Harry asks Cedric to the Yule Ball. It doesn't work. She goes with Neville as friends, and Harry/Neville miiiight be the endgame ship in this universe.)
I'm not sure Barty would be able to take care of Voldemort AND prep the ritual to bring him back to life AND impersonate Moody though. He needs a different man on the inside. I think at first he tries to use his father - but as we know that gets risky, because Barty Sr is remarkably good at fighting the Imperius curse, and also just knows way too much. He's a huge risk, because if he goes rouge, he'll tell Dumbledore everything (as very nearly happens.)
So I think Barty Jr. targets Barty Sr.'s assistant Percy Weasley instead, after he can no longer control his father. Uses him as a way to affect things in Hogwarts. He might imperius him, but he also might just like... Polyjuice himself into his father for short periods, and manipulate Percy in a non-magical way, to make sure he helps Harry, and gets her to the cup first. Once Percy realizes what he's done... I think he re-commits to his family in penance, and stops being a such a Ministry man.
Voldemort rising works as kind of a reset button, so things would start looking a lot more canon again after that, only with Ron and Hermione swapped out for Ginny and Neville. Main difference being, Voldemort has Barty now. I absolutely think he would have survived Book 4, and I actually don't know what the dynamic between him, Lucius, and Bellatrix would be. Probably pretty antagonistic, because I get the feeling Voldemort would have fun playing them off against each other.
So I'm going to leave this what-if here for now. Thanks for the ask, this was a lot of fun to think about.
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razmerry · 1 year ago
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can the mediator of vengeanceclan really fall in love with a kittypet?...
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ave-immaculata · 5 months ago
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fellas we're once again wrestling with imperfect vs. perfect contrition and why imperfect contrition with a firm resolution to not sin again and promptly receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation doesn't save
#I get that it doesn't but !!!! I don't like it and I think its bad and I'm mad at God#it's definitely not because I only have imperfect contrition and get afraid to die#but like if its a gift from God#so much more of a gift perfect contrition is#but if cooperating with grace only results in imperfect contrition#why is it still damnable#his ways higher than my ways i know the line#this didnt save my other tags ahh!!!#but take this example from movie recently#man is a lapsed catholic#hes murdered people etc. very many grave sins#he has a terrifying near death experience and in the hospital asks to have a Priest come#because he wants to confess his sins#he ends up being denied one and murdered himself#to me (vibes) hes motivated by genuine belief and fear (imperfect) but hes also made#TANGIBLE STEPS to try and receive the Sacrament#he clearly wants to be reconciled and is trying#and the most we can hope for him is the same extraordinary salvation we hope a muslim has or an atheist?#intuitively that seems wrong idk#also moots i just realized this might be scandalous etc. I'm trying to religious submission of mind and will#pls tell me if i ought to delete and i will#also tbf on some level I would get the extraordinary salvation is all we can hope for bc of the efficacy of the Sacraments#EXCEPT for baptism by desire#and specifically the fact that motivation to be baptized does not come into consideration#you die before you can be baptized when you've expressed a desire and are trying to be baptized?#saved. no questions asked.#thats what makes this tough for me
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the-meme-monarch · 1 year ago
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just finished birth by sleep and feeling very normal about sora and all the guys having to do with him. feeling incredibly normal about how ventus and roxas have the same hair style and voice actor. and vanitas and sora
(based on this song, but inspired by this video !! here’s an english cover that I like also) base image under tha cut
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imminent-danger-came · 2 years ago
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So, this parallel, right.
That parallel and the 4x11 shadowpeach fight as a whole:
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Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!" Sun Wukong: "You're not in this mess, you're still free! Everything I did was for us!" Macaque: "You did it for yourself! You've become like this, obsessive demon! I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no, Wukong doesn't listen to anyone! He just does whatever he wants! You put yourself here, not me."
(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)
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A large part of Wukong's motivation to keep getting more power was the freedom of it—the more power you have the easier it is to do whatever you want. It's easier to ignore everyone else and focus solely on yourself. It's also easier to ensure yourself and your loved one's are protected and have the ability to do what they want.
So, a punishment where the great Monkey King is imprisoned and trapped for hundreds of years? It's effective and tragic and fitting. Wukong wanted to have the freedom to protect the people he cared about, and in trying to reach for the power to do that, he completely had his freedom removed. He went from the mountain, to then the circlet, and then all of a sudden he had morals and was bound to those.
And then I think about his end of s3 choice to go face the Lady Bone Demon alone. Once again Wukong was trying to protect his loved ones (not to mention the whole reason he went after the Samadhi fire to begin with was to have the power, the freedom to stop LBD (which in itself is another case of SWK believing he needed to be stronger for such freedom)), but he also wanted to make sure MK and himself both had agency. He didn't want MK to have to fight LBD, and he didn't want LBD to end the world.
This is exactly the sentiment he tells Macaque in the 4x11 flashback:
Sun Wukong: "It's so we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just living a lazy life, sitting in the sun, eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"
But where does it all lead him?
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To possession, imprisonment. Once again Wukong no longer had the freedom to do what he wanted (which is to protect the people he cares about). Once again in his attempts to help his loved one's, he only hurt them.
This can be applied to his relationship with Macaque, to MK in s2, hell, even Wukong trying to get the map in the first place left him powerless, which then led to him and the gang being imprisoned in 3x02. It's a familiar pattern, one we see with antagonist and protagonist alike.
MK in s2 trained to become more powerful, which in the end only strengthened LBD and forced him and his friends on the run. Mei in 3x12 protects MK by letting herself get captured and placed into LBD's crystal. Mei in 4x05 goes to protect MK, breaking her sword and leaving her vulnerable to being captured by Kui Mulang ("How am I supposed to protect everyone without my sword?"). DBK reached for more power and then became possessed by LBD, hurting his wife and son. Azure reached for the Jade Emperor's power and bound himself to that role, jeopardizing Peng and Yellowtusk in the process.
It's a cycle of reaching for power, endangering others, and then being imprisoned.
So anyways, here's why MK is going to lose control (his agency) next season and hurt his friends with his own- *get's shot*
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deiaiko · 1 year ago
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#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.
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Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point#I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty#like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue#writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way#I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone#Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have#also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial#maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace#because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die#not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth#that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths#so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo#but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save#Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask#see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#bam#25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#hatz
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affluent-havoc · 4 months ago
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Bathrooms/Restrooms in THH (specifically THH)
The fact that no one ever needed to use the restroom ONCE during the trials is insane when you think about it. Those trials are for several hours, no sitting area, no break, just standing there to figure out who done it. So, the fact that none of these idiots accidently drank too much water at any point before the trial is a damn miracle. Hell, I think these punks weren't drinking as much water as they should honestly!! I bet they're all dehydrated and honestly haven't been taking good care of their bodies. For one, it's a killing game. Lotta stress, lotta murder, prime setting to have physical health to not be the biggest priority aside from ensuring one's heart was still beating. So, at the very least, the bare minimum was at least somewhat met to some extent for the cast. At the same time though, even the bare minimum can have it's holes. Which leads me to this whole ramble to begin with! Moreover, still on topic but a bit different, the more I think about it, I wonder if, after Chapter 1, Makoto would be using the restrooms outside of his dorm. Or, at the very least, for the majority of the killing game. Of course he's still attempting to use the shower's and all in the dorm room (gotta get clean somehow) but also, there IS a bath house that gets opened up. So, the more I think about it, kinda a missed opportunity in a way? Though that might just be me. Though, that restroom, that dorm restroom, that must have haunted his mind at least for a good while anyway! Not that Makoto isn't allowed to concur that. Of course he can! I do think it'd be an interesting angle though of Makoto's mini journey of going from the full on dismay of going back into that restroom to slowly taking it all head on. Who knows. Maybe him taking a shower before he and the rest confront the mastermind has it's own power to it. However, for both of these ideas of mine, I feel the realistic topic of these people in this killing game and their bodily needs isn't really something that's ever really brought up (which makes sense. not like there needed to be a pissing mechanic in the dang murder game). But, damn it! I just like thinking of the logistics of this stuff. At the end of the day, the cast still have those teen mentalities. They're all still people and vulnerable and prone to getting diarrhea like the rest of us! I refuse to believe that all of them were 100% treating their bodies right and eating enough fiber and in the right headspace to even be taking care of themselves right in the first place! Hell! Not all of them can even cook (talking to YOU specifically, Byakuya!!) Whether some were coping by using all their energy to work on finding the mastermind (cough cough Kyoko) or just getting by with the basics or even stress eating to gain some sort of comfort during the grueling times of the killing game, it had to have been effecting them all in some sort of a deeper level. Perhaps more than just a feeling of dread but one of the many side effects of despair.
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