#im queer and trans im terrified not just me for others

[lobotomysyndromez]

Man

[devotedlystrangewizard]

stepdad asked why "straight people dont get a day" 1 dead (him)

[johannestevans]

idk man frequently i talk to trans men and mascs who basically tell me that they came out as queer or nonbinary years ago, but were terrified to come out as men or transition in a way that would mean they were perceived as male even though the dysphoria was crushing

specifically bc of rejection from their communities, from other queer people, other trans people, bc men are bad and awful

like. a fella told me earnestly he read this essay about how masculinity isn't inherently toxic from another trans man and im so glad it was positive for him and gave him the courage to transition, but it was horrifying to me that he should be made to feel so disgusted by his own gender that he needed that

esp bc once you're out as queer you're already rejected by mainstream society, so other queers are all you have - the prospect of being ousted and rejected from those spaces bc you become A Man is naturally terrifying

and its literally just rad fem rhetoric of men and masculinity = evil and bad that's infected queer spaces like a festering mould. ppl do it to cis gay and queer men as well, and also just to nonbinary ppl they perceive as cis men bc they don't like their language etc, and to trans men and mascs

ppl are sometimes like. surprised. when i don't apologise for being a man and assert that loving men is natural and beautiful, and reject the appeal of womanhood or women

as if that's not queer enough when like ??? hi???? my attraction to other men IS the queerness?

[prettyboykatsuki]

so like forgive me if i'm wrong but i (think??) i remember you saying you have a partner and like hsdjgkfasdgf do they know that you know you're trans and like i know that's a wild thing to ask but i'm asking bc i'm trans and closeted even from my partner and like i'm terrified to talk about it lmao :') please delete and ignore this if it bothers you in any way i won't be upset i'm just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i do have a partner and they do know i am trans! but he is also trans so its not as if he would have an issue with it sdkfhjsd

we met when we were in middle school we've been together for 8 years in november. we were both out as queer to each other since then so he never needed to come out to me.

that being said i was still a little nervous to bring it up since my partner has a preference for women and i also wasn't really sure what my concrete identity was - just that i suspected im not really Just A Girl and i dont know what that means for me yet.

i identify with genderfluid / flux and he's really respectful about it. it sounds cheesy but he really does just love me for me so i dont think it would matter what i chose to do. with him i do prefer being called his girlfriend etc but he checks in regularly about what petnames and compliments i like and if he needs to change how he refers to me. he also does respect my masculinity and everything

im very grateful and well aware that i got very lucky with him. i dont have any particular advice on coming out to a cis partner but i will say a person that loves you and respects your autonomy will continue to do that even when things change between you or about you. i am wishing u all the best

[saintjosie]

SC, interested in the group, but wary as a trans man because literally every time I've tried to meet other queers, im hurt by them. Is there any way to just lurk & see who tf is in there first? Because God I wanna meet people but I'm terrified to bump into people who have abused me or taken advantage of me.

that is so so valid.

we have very strict rules on respecting boundaries and we take those rules very seriously.

i can ever personally assure anyone’s experience but i want to do my best to make sure that the space we have created is as safe as possible and also to make sure everyone feels heard.

i’m not sure how we could have you lurk in a discord group but if you dm me i’m sure we could work something out?

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

hi! could you possibly share the intercept new report about gay men and their misogyny? i know this isn't really about br politics, and im not even sure if it is in English, but i think it is really important to be shared

I hope it's not too late 😅

-

Gay men and misogyny: no more ignoring this problem

'Don't talk about vaginas around me': for a long time, we ignored the disqualifications of women and the feminine made by gay men. No more.

"If I liked women, I would have become a gynecologist."

"The law of gravity is a crime against women."

“Funny” gay guys, usually white and showing a certain hatred towards females, are a very common social type in contemporary pop culture. The character Felix “Bicha Má” ["Evil Fag"], played by Mateus Solano, from the Brazilian soap opera “Amor à Vida” [Love For Life], is an easy example in Brazilian lands – the sentences that open this text are his. But this sharp-tongued young man who directs much of his bitterness towards women, including friends and relatives, has never only lived on screens: he is a common presence in our daily lives.

"Oh, don't mention a vagina around me, I get all messed up."

"My goodness, this singer was beautiful, but she got old and ugly."

"Get out of here, I don't even like cracks."

I can't say how many times I've heard phrases like that from fellow gay men. For a long time, these ways of disqualifying women – despite the certain discomfort felt by every person who is repeatedly the target of prejudice – were endorsed and reflected by women ourselves. Offenses dressed as “I was just joking” have largely naturalized these forms of disqualification, but the good news is that, in an environment in which feminism has gained ground, what seemed to be just a joke is now named by the right word: misogyny.

This is a delicate subject, since we are talking about people – mostly cisgender gay men – who have been and still are victims of a series of violence, whether at home, at work, on the streets. Perhaps it was precisely this that made us, cisgender or transgender women, leave the discomfort of being made fun of in the background. After all, confronting homophobia in a sexist country like Brazil is no simple task. But if this machismo affects homosexual men, what can we say about its presence in women's daily lives? And what can we also say about the homophobia directed at cis/trans homosexual and bisexual women, especially invisible and also targets of “jokes” by gay men?

“I had a very close gay friend, like a brother. We went out to parties together and often slept in the same bed, at my house or his. Several times, as if he were joking, he said that he was terrified of vaginas, that he was born through a cesarean section so he wouldn't have to go through one. He'd gesture the sign of the Cross and said ‘God forbid’, smiling,” says Adriana Conceição, 47 years old, a telemarketing operator from Recife who, like several other women, took a while to classify the guy's actions with the right word.

Game developer Renata Gomes, also 47 years old, found herself at the center of a virtual outrage after questioning a post by a gay Brazilian film critic living in the United States. In the post, he talked about missing Brazil, since people worked a lot more in the USA. Faced with the possibility of his speech being reductive and stereotypical, he began to treat Renata as “ugly”, “militant”, “frustrated”. Furthermore, several of the critic's friends entered the comments to reiterate the delegitimization of Renata's speech.

Younger people also identify the problem: aware of the issue, Curitiba university student Nicoly Grevetti, aged 24, listened to several people who circulate in LGBTQIA+ spaces about the subject and wrote a text about it. In it, she also identifies how pop and queer cultures, supposedly safer and “modern”, also present misogynistic elements.

One example is the use of the term “fishy”, constantly evoked to define drag queens who closely resemble cisgender women (that is, who have a high degree of “passability”). The expression refers to the smell that these women's vaginas supposedly have. “[Cisgender] women grow up believing that their private parts are disgusting and spend their entire lives using products to reduce their natural odors, which can lead to various diseases. Having female genitalia as something disgusting is so common for this group, that you can find countless reports of women talking about it on the internet,” she wrote. The topic was the subject of discussion in the famous series RuPaul’s Drag Race, generating academic works like this one. Cisgender drag queen Victoria Scone, a former participant in the show, also spoke on the topic.

A few months ago, I experienced a significant episode of this machismo and misogyny that had been attenuated for a long time in relation to gay men. I was in a doctor's office very close to a shopping center in the south of Recife. After the end of the consultation, the dermatologist – homosexual, white, in his late thirties, and anti-Bolsonaro in the last elections – lightly tapped my hand and said: “Okay, now you can go for a walk in the mall.”

Especially on that day, I was rushing to finish presenting a lecture that I would give the following day, online, at the University of Coimbra. Obviously, if I wanted to window shop or spend the afternoon reading celebrity magazines, it wouldn't be a problem (in fact, I love it). The point here was the doctor's obvious intention to fit me into the cliché of the futile and consumerist woman, a sexist and anachronistic way of disqualifying the female gender. Icing on the cake: while I was leaving, the gay boy warned me not to forget to take “the boss” to my next appointment. He was referring to my romantic partner.

If it's feminine, it's smaller

The misogyny present in the practices of part of this population is so evident that it goes beyond the boundaries of gender and occurs between equals: it is common to see it operating even among gay men themselves. Research I carried out in partnership with Professor Ricardo Sabóia, from the Federal University of Pernambuco, analyzed the relationship between body and celebrity on the Grindr app. I was astonished by both the hatred towards what is socially seen as feminine and the extremely high level of normativity, standardization, and even elitism. “'I'm not into effeminate guys” is a constant, as is “I'm not into fat guys”.

In this environment of extremely high value for toned biceps and abs, being masculine – and looking very masculine – is the strongest currency. Thus, men seen as “little women” are disqualified. This is what researcher Carlos Alberto de Carvalho calls “misogynistic heteronormativity”, in which the masculine and masculinities are placed as positive – on the other hand, femininities and the feminine are valued negatively. It is, therefore, an environment of hegemonic masculinity and subaltern masculinities.

The global soap opera “Terra e Paixão” [Land & Passion] currently features an illustration that refers to this scenario, with the character Kelvin (actor Diego Martins), an “effeminate” gay man in love with Ramiro (Amaury Lorenzo), the masculine man, self-declared heterosexual, who desires the other person, but still doesn't know how to deal with the situation. What diminishes the power of the first is precisely its proximity to what is considered “womanly”. But, looking at Grindr, even the desirable “brucutu” [Brazilian slang for a brute and rude man] has his limits: issues such as level of education have weight in the app used mostly by gay and bisexual men, where it is common to read “no illiterates”.

The LGBTQIA+ culture, in which rich and middle-class white homosexual men repeatedly appear to discriminate against other peers from the same community, is a central sociological issue for discussing social inequalities not only in Brazil, but throughout the world. “Queer cultural production has helped to reproduce class distinctions based on the hegemony of representations of middle-class gays”, writes Lisa Henderson in the article “I’m not/I'm not into: circulating meanings in the presentation speeches of the Grindr app”, by Rafael Grohmann. In the same text, Juan Marsiaj summarizes: “Such a strategy can lead to the acceptance of a type of gay (white, middle class), seen as a model of citizen-consumer, and a greater marginalization of all other 'debauches' who do not fit this way. In more Brazilian terms: there is a risk of accepting rich gays and further marginalizing poor queers.”

Discrimination on the part of this part of the queer community was evidenced in a historic episode in the 1970s, in super liberal New York. In June 1973, the Christopher Street Liberation Day Rally took place in the city, a demonstration held in favor of the rights of the queer population – which, at that time, as we will see, in fact was basically limited to white, middle-class gay women and men.

But, among the public, was the activist Sylvia Rivera, a transvestite who in 1971 had created the Revolutionary Action of Street Transvestites, STAR. Rivera had been trying to get on stage for some time, but Jean O’Leary, a lesbian white radical feminist, acted to prevent her from participating. A sample of how, many times, cisgender homosexual/bisexual women also enact the same discrimination as homosexual/bisexual men.

When he finally managed to grab the microphone, Rivera took aim at the hundreds of mostly white gay men and women present. Her speech is a synthesis of the violence experienced by queers who are too effeminate, too poor, too black, or too latine.

“I've tried to speak out here all day for your gay brothers and sisters in jail. They write to me every damn week asking for help – and you don't do a damn thing for them. I lost my job and my apartment for gay liberation… and you guys treat me this way?” she screamed.

The anger had yet another weight and meaning: alongside another important name, the transvestite Marsha P. Johnson, Rivera went down in history as one of the first to face police repression at the New York bar Stonewall Inn, on June 28, 1969. The conflict was the trigger for a fundamental civil movement for human rights – so much so that the date ended up becoming what was then called International LGBT+ Pride Day.

The question remained: how could that engaged audience repudiate the person who, at just 18 years old, spoke out against violence that was not directed just at her? How could they recriminate someone who pulled the trigger that would benefit precisely that white homosexual population?

Rivera and Johnson, who lived in a shelter, were profoundly different from the majority of the public who would return to their comfortable homes after the demonstration. Unlike Rivera, the daughter of a Venezuelan mother and a Puerto Rican father, most had not spent nights in jail or suffered police rape. The activist died homeless, alone, without the care she should have received. Marsha P. Johnson, the decorated, made-up, smiling, super queer transvestite, was murdered and her body thrown into a river.

Thinking historically and humanly about both is a central issue in the debate on hatred of “feminine” and other diverse discriminations present among the LGBTQIA+ population. The right-wing has long opened a war against women, and the rise of red pill assholes is just one of the phenomena of this reality. It still includes names like former federal deputy Daniel Silveira, who broke the plaque with Marielle's name alongside Rodrigo Amorim. [Note from the translator: Marielle Franco was a black bisexual favela-born leftist councilwoman who was assassinated by militias.]

But, as it turns out, misogyny is not exclusive to right-wing radicals and conservatives. And if Sylvia and Marsha were on the front line to guarantee the rights of millions of people, without distinction of creeds, race, genders, and degrees of “femininity”, it is worth asking: when will cisgender gay men, mostly white and middle class, join, with emphasis and strength, debates such as the right to abortion, employment, and wages, issues of life and death for the majority of black Brazilian women? When will the majority of this same group take a stand on the thousands of rapes that mainly victimize girls and teenagers? What collectivities, after all, are we talking about? As Jorge Ben would say in the song Zumbi: I want to see. We're here.

Source, translated by the blogger.

[osamucide]

Reid, what are your thoughts on the elections? Are you going to vote?

thanks for asking toasty—in short im terrified, and yes i’m voting for kamala. i would implore my american followers of voting age to do the same

long answer—feeling frustrated with those who still think a third party vote is the best way forward right now. i can’t see it as anything other than a self-righteous need to feed an ego we’re allowed to have only because it is stilted on incredible privilege. this tweet sums it up for me

been thinking also a lot about metaphors i’ve seen on socials—like, say you’re trying to get to the library. will you sit and wait at the bus stop for a bus that doesn’t exist to take you exactly to the library? or will you take the one that gets you closest and then walk a bit? certainly you wouldn’t get on a bus going in the opposite direction and taking you further from the library?

it’s inconsiderate to believe we have the time and capacity to sit and wait right now. american liberals and leftists and anyone who gives a shit about the rights and futures of trans people, disabled people, immigrant people, working people, women, people with uteruses and so forth need to please try to see the bigger picture right now. people’s lack of foresight scares me.

no one is obligated to air out their vote or political standing and like flora said i hate to bring politics on here but it is genuinely a very dire time and i thank you again toasty because i think i honestly just needed to vent some of this out and if it reaches anyone it will be worth it. i think a third party candidate can win in america in the lifetimes of gen z voters. it will not be this year, and that is a nearly-indisputable fact right now.

even in the event that kamala does win, our work will not be over. we will still need to be putting pressure on her and our government for a ceasefire in gaza. we will still need to pull together and send mutual aid. we will still need to work to get roe back into the constitution as soon as possible. we will still need to go hard as fuck for our trans and queer siblings. that will all be, even if only marginally, easier under her than him.

i could ramble forever. anyway. vote blue. our lives depend on it.

[im-jesus]

im so scared. What if trump wins? I am a white cis girl but I’m bi and my best friends are all trans and poc and queer I am so so scared. Our country would be ruined. Please please please say Harris will win. I know she isn’t wonderful but trump is much much worse. I am so so scared

I understand, my love. I'm a white trans gay guy who knows how difficult it'll be for me, my queer friends, and literally every person of color in the united states to survive if Trump wins. All my friends are queer or POC except literally one guy, and it's fucking terrifying what could happen to us all if Trump wins. And I'm not even allowed to talk about it at home because I'm not allowed to talk about my identity.

I told one of my two best friends that if Trump wins, I likely won't live to see him inaugurated. Whatever happens to me, to this country, I'm dying on my fucking terms, not theirs. Will this help anything? No. But I'm unemployed and I live in a massively conservative area. I have no where else to go. I have no other options. And I don't know what else to do. And I know that you came seeking comfort, but so did I, and I'm sorry that I can't offer you any.

Usually I try to just keep myself to myself but this whole thing is terrifying me in ways that no one around me comprehends. So I guess I needed to vent a bit, and I have only, like, two people I talk to regularly, and one of them is going through some massive shit, and the other has their own issues and I don't want to burden them with my feelings, so thanks, anon, for putting up with me.

[seaslugdisco]

venty angsty thing about being trans/queer youth in a highly conservative+ maga area atm :(

im actually really terrified tbh because what do you MEAN the newly elected leader of this country, ELECTED AS IN PEOPLE SAW ALL OF HIS ACTIONS AND SAW THEM AS MORALLY PASSABLE, what do you mean he really won? this is scary shit.

i've got too many things about me that make me convinced he'd wring my neck or something if i ever saw him face-to-face. i don't like either of the candidates that ran this year, each for their own reasons, but i wish i could feel safe living in this country that's promised me freedom for all and no judgement since i was like 2- probably younger tbh.

i'm at such a fucky point in my life right now and im really, really scared because this is not a world i want to grow up in. every single trustworthy resource i can come across is either telling me things like "the economy is terrible and will be a million times worse by the point it matters to you!!", "the world is melting!!", "everyone is in pain and you can't do anything about it!!", "this guy thinks because you wanna be a boy/girl/something else you deserve to be shocked by a fake doctor till you change your mind and says he's entitled to that belief but you aren't entitled to yours- lets give him tons of power!!", or mudslinging other resources for covering that sort of shit up. let me reiterate, THIS IS NOT A WORLD THAT I OR ANY OTHER QUEER YOUTH FACING HATE FROM POSITIONS OF POWER CAN BECOME A FULLY FUNCTIONING HAPPY STABLE HUMAN ADULT IN.

it's really freaky having to realize that your entire community, on a majority nationwide scale, values your rights as a person that little. anyone i see on the street might clock me and stomp my fucking head on the curb before i even get a chance to really live like an adult. my parents and their parents and even my cousins got that, why don't i? because i want someone to use a different word when they talk about me??? fucking oh my god. i can barely trust anyome i meet anymore because there's a decent chance they disagree with the whole concept of me as a fucking person.

i know this will probably do nothing at all, i mean the guy's president already, but maybe one of you can relate to this. and if so just know i'm struggling and really really scared too, and you have to stay alive and power through with me because if we all go, they win and whoever's left behind feels so completely alone. if we can both keep it together, and help whoever we can who's dealing with something like this too, we won't be so alone and i think we can make it together. i love you all, and you deserve that love from many other people as well.

[halogen2]

as a trans person. (and i know im not saying anything others arent already saying.) i am extremely terrified and disgusted and frightened for the near future. republicans are for sure going to come after adult trans healthcare along with abortion rights and birth control access and anything else that gives queer people + women bodily autonomy and i live in the fucking red hellscape of tennessee where its not going to get better for trans people. i just dont know what to do bc i voted but 1) blue votes in my county in tn basically dont count anyway so like that did fuckshit to protect anyone and 2) i cant do anything monetarily to support any causes cuz im barely scraping by myself. which i guess leaves protesting which isnt nothing but i certainly do feel powerless and like all the people around me are chomping at the bit to actively harm minorities

[roachemoji]

Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

[carbonbasedmatter]

ig i've had tumblr long enough so here's my intro yay

★ABOUT ME: you can call me trey, tris or something related to my url :) he/they, istp, minor, audhd, south asian, trans guy, demiromantic(?) bisexual

★BYF: this should go without saying but dni if you're racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, xenophobic, exclusionist or just discriminatory in general

I made this blog so I could have somewhere to be myself I mainly post about fandom stuff, fictional characters, music, my art, rants and random personal stuff (I also vent here sometimes if you're uncomfortable with that please block the tag)

i'm a multishipper I guess...I don't know I just like analyzing different dynamics between characters and seriously cannot tell the difference between romantic and platonic stuff sometimes

english isn't my native language so sorry if I make mistakes/don't make sense sometimes

other than that im just a teenager so also naturally a bit cringe and annoying (that's what I tell myself anyway😞)

send me asks about me or my interests pls pls pls (school has been kicking my ass lately so it may take me a few days to respond I swear I do like getting them though)

I love talking to people and making friends idc if we have like one thing in common feel free to message me

★LIKES/INTERESTS

reading, art, sleeping, music, alt subcultures, chess, plants, fall, queer history, global history, the middle ages, chemistry(love hate relationship with the subject) crocheting, mbti, skating, philosophy ( esp existentialism), ranting, crystals, sea animals, bats<3

★FANDOMS(idk if i'll post abt all of these lol):

heartbreak high

ghibli movies

osemanverse(mainly solitaire)

mphfpc

bojack horesman

the magnus archives

total drama island

south park

derry girls

the good place

community

parks and recreation

nathan for you

brooklyn nine nine

young sheldon(NOT tbbt)

breaking bad

heathers

mlp

tmnt

star trek

death note

blue period

the promised neverland

the disastrous life of saiki k

gilmore girls

carmen sandiego 2019

the owl house

adventure time

alexa and katie

the worst witch

just add magic

gortimer gibbon’s life on normal street

the perks of being a wallflower

stand by me

a series of unfortunate events

fear street

dead poets society

the outsiders

★MUSIC:

pixies, mcr, mitski, radiohead, mbv, car seat headrest, the front bottoms, system of a down, dazey and the scouts, florence and the machine, asleep at last, teen suicide, queen, neutral milk hotel, nirvana, the cure, the brobecks, paramore, ajj, brockhampton, tyler the creator, childish gambino

(music is my special interest so there's a lot more hehe but I kinda tried to include a few from each genre)

★SOCIALS:

mutuals/followers can ask for them cus im terrified of someone I know irl finding this account lmao

i've gotten really comfortable with tumblr though so this is basically my main form of social media right now

[quietwingsinthesky]

8 and 16 for the choose violence ask

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

That Dean would return Cas’s love confession

Okay no actually you know what. I’m gonna talk about that. Maybe it’s just me being deep in Aro!Dean land, but I’m not seeing it. I’m not seeing at any point in the show where Dean loved Castiel. And I’ve been looking, I swear, but I’m. There’s no destiel on my screen. There is a lot more sastiel than I remember but there’s no destiel happening on my screen! There IS a lot of Castiel clearly having Problems and Issues and Angst about dean, and. Zero doubt here there that that angel wants to fuck him. But I honestly can’t imagine any happy ending for dean that revolves solely or even mostly around a romantic attachment. That man is hardwired for family being the most important thing to him, and I love that. Aro!Dean wins again.

Other notable things include: headcanoning Sam as not queer/trans because he’s too boring. Talked about that. Weird fucking opinion to have. That Gabriel is not exactly as fucked up as the other archangels, especially when presenting sabriel as the Good Sam Ship as opposed to samifer. My dudes, did we not watch mystery spot, do the reading. Also. Also. Not acknowledging the really clear character degradation of Lucifer in the later seasons/attributing later seasons stuff to how he acts in s5, just a personal gripe because whatever, people can read him however they want, but I really feel like on a meta level you gotta talk about how these are Two Different Characters who just happen to have been jammed into the same character. Okay. I think that’s it.

16. You can’t understand why people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

I do not like coffee shops AUs. Actually, it’s more that im Extremely picky about AUs that aren’t canon divergence, and will drop them immediately the minute I feel like I’m no longer reading about the characters I like and am instead reading about Generic Guys who say funny quips and then kiss. Which is not a coffee shop au specific problem but the frequency with which that kind of au attracts that writing means I have kind of been turned off from ever reading them again.

if you are writing Sam into your coffee shop au and at some point he does not drop some insane backstory about the time he was kidnapped and forced to fight to the death with a bunch of other college kids, you have failed at writing this au and I am banishing you to the shadow realm /j

The other thing that I do not understand at all, and this extends into a problem with canon, I’m well aware, is how happily people will accept the idea that Castiel is rebellious/different from other angels because he was just Made Wrong. he’s too Broken to be like a real angel. that all the other angels are mindless drones and Castiel is the one good one who could learn about free will, usually justified with it being that “his love for dean is what makes him special”, but even outside of destiel circles, this kind of thing gets very annoying lmao.

And it’s just. That’s wrong. The show might have decided post-s8 that it believed this about Castiel but it’s False and Bad. I’m gesturing wildly at Uriel and Anna and Gabriel and Lucifer and Balthazar and Michael and shit what’s that one angel doing pinball I love them, them too, and Castiel is not special!!! He should not be special!!! All angels have the capacity for free will, they are living under a terrifying system of suppression that has stripped them of their ability to use it and has taught them that when an angel does something they disagree with, killing them is a mercy! (See: the implications of that one angel healer in s9 + Uriel and Cas being sent to kill Anna for falling in s4)

CASTIEL IS NOT SPECIAL. STOP SAYING HE IS SPECIAL. THE CRACK IN THE CHASSIS LINE IS BAD TO HOLD UP AS EVIDENCE OF HIM BEING UNIQUELY FLAWED.

ahem. sorry. i like the supernatural angels. i think making castiel into some separate special being who is the only one capable of rebelling and feeling love and etc does a massive disservice to the heaven storylines and angels as a whole. i think the show’s choice to never have another major angel character who wasn’t killed off quickly/made “too evil” to redeem was a bad decision and contributes to this view of cas as Different and The Good One.

[transenbyconfessions]

It hit me earlier today that none of my extended family knows that im trans

Ive seen each of them an average of one time in the past three years ive been out—some more than others and some not at all—let alone in the past decade. I dont have a reliable way to contact any but two or three of them

So like. I barely know most of these people or if they’d be chill. I’ve already made the decision to distance and/or avoid a few of them bc of the comments theyve made about other queer people in my family, or just the people they THOUGHT were queer. And i definitely wont be coming out to them. But theres so many of them that i would like to see at some point in the rest of my lifespan that i just. Dont know about. Dont know if i’d be safe, or if theyd out me to the rest of the family.

I would feel SO much more scared about it than i already do if i wasnt for the other queer people in my family that’ve come out. My dad, my aunt. The former is a first hand account of who i could or definitely cant trust, because if theyre homophobic theres no way in hell they’ll be chill w me being a boy now. The later, unfortunately, gave me a first hand account of my dad’s dad being a transphobic piece of shit, in the early days of being in the closet. That definitely made me realize that i could be jeopardizing my safety if im not careful.

But its not all bad! I know which aunts and uncles supported my dad, which ones have blatantly said they supported trans people because theyre decent fucking people, which ones have clued me in on someone else being shitty to my cousins over the idea of being gay. As i get older its easier to hear the family gossip, to get a sense for these people beyond the smiling veneers they aimed towards a younger me

There’s a few people, maybe six, that i would trust just as well as my immediate family, because they’ve supported my dad or theyve been vocal allies. I want to tell them, if i get the chance.

But my grandma, my cousins, a few of my aunts and uncles? I want to keep them in my life, but i dont know how they’d react.

It’ll be unavoidable eventually. Im going on t soon, it wont take long for me to start changing. Facial hair, a deeper voice. It could be years until i see any of them again, i’d have to tell them ahead of time or risk an argument or confrontation or confusion because ill be so different by then

Its so scary. Im fucking terrified. Especially since my identity will reflect back on my parents, that their accepting of me and my transition could cause rifts between them and their siblings, their parents, more than are already there

My mom is so supportive of me, but even when i talk about being scared of the backlash i dont think she can quite comprehend the terror of it all. It took so much to tell my dad i was starting t, and he already knew i was trans for years. I dont think she knew how scared i was of his rejection, how terrified i am when she suggests i tell one of my aunts, who has threatened to disown one of my cousins if she was gay, that i wasnt straight

I know how stifling it is to hide who i am, and how excited i am to start t is def a reflection of that, but im so hesitant to burn bridges no matter how much bullshit is on the other side. Im trying to cling to normalcy as long as i possibly can, in hopes that it’ll shift alongside me and i dont have to say shit, but gods know it’ll rip itself out of my hands before long

I just hope im resilient enough to weather the aftermath, the next time i see any of them

Submitted July 15, 2023

[booblywooblies]

im gonna post this here bc i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea on main

ive been thinking for a long time about why detransitioners are usually afab, and i think im developing a couple theories. the first one is i think its more difficult to be classified as a man, genuinely, than a woman. i know that seems immediately incorrect bc a big aspect of transmisogyny is denying transfems their womanhood but i think even if transphobes are calling transfems men they dont really mean it. theres been some talk about which trans people have "male privilege" and some people argue transfems do and the most common response to that is that even if transfems are not out they are not regarded as true men, theres something about them that people can pick up on as inherently queer that others them from manhood (sometimes, all of this is sometimes nothing is universal)

i watched a video a while ago about the "incel to trans pipeline" which was kind of about the type of incel that isnt so much concerned with the lack of sex so much as being a failure as a man and how theres a group on like 4chan or something that seek transition not because theyre trans but to escape the pressures of masculinity and i thought that was really interesting

i think that in some ways, despite all the bullshit women go through with being belittled and objectified and disrespected, there is maybe some comfort in being the "weaker" gender, and the more "desireable" gender.

something ive been dealing with that, i mean it hasnt really been a struggle bc i enjoy men even when they are fat and greasy and hairy so im down with being that. theres something thats very weird about losing like, a certain pool of attention i guess. ive been hit with the realization that i will never be attractive to straight men again, and like thats a good thing because i wouldnt want them to see me as a woman im also kinda sad about it? like it feels like im losing a kind of power, even if its not a real power that has any actual use to me

and i probably dont even have to mention how intimidating it is to present myself to the world as a real man, especially when im 5 foot nothing and have H cups. like one thing when it comes to trans men that EVERYONE says about them is they are either basically only men in name, hanging on to their girly habits and interests in a way thats cringy and annoying, or they, in an effort to distance themselves from the first one just adopt toxic masculinity and beef up their own image of themselves by being more misogynistic

and obviously the first end is more on the people putting them down than the guys who are like that themselves, but thats what im really afraid of, ive already experienced being put down for my interests as a girl, the idea of being denied my real gender for any of that stuff is terrifying. and like, its kind of inherently misogynist to want to escape fully from femininity isnt it? and i do value anti-misogyny more than i do masculinity, thats definitely true in my heart. but it sort of feels at odds with each other, its hard to want to be a man, to seek approval as a man, to care about women being taken as seriously as you want to be taken, and to not put anyone down in your path to get there.

like if i wasnt so committed to it, if i believed this was ACTUALLY more in conflict than i really do, i could see myself as having a responsibility to not transition. im sure a lot of people have a different reason for doing that but i think it makes sense that so many afabs detransition because masculinity can break people.

and like BIG BIG BIG disclaimer, im not thinking about detransitioning, i dont think masculinity is inherently toxic, im gay and i have a cis husband, i think men are cool, i think women are cool and i like them a lot i respect them. im just inspecting this because i was not sure why it happens and i figured itd be in my best interest to figure it out, i think i have, i think its difficult and complicated but doesnt apply to me.

im transitioning bc it feels good and i have a man fetish 👍 and no one can stop me motherfucker

[genderqueerdykes]

if you don’t feel comfortable answering this ask, it’s perfectly okay and i apologize.

my name is rebecca. i am a young trans girl, who just went on summer break from middle school. my parents are strict, overprotective and transphobic. at school i had access to other trans people. at home i have no way of expressing myself. at school i couldn’t either, but at home i feel disappointed faces staring at me every day. i’m openly trans online. i’m terrified of them finding out that i’m trans, i know they would disown me. but i’m tired of hiding and looking the way i do. i’m tired of my short hair and my thick brows and my boyish outfits. masc presenting trans women are amazing, but i’m just not one of them.

i’m extremely insecure, and i have some makeup hidden under my bed, as well as a bra and a skirt my friend bought me. i would love to go out with my friends as the girl that i am, but i’m horrified of the possibility of my family or other kids from school seeing me and outing me.

do you have any advice?

hello there rebecca, im so sorry you're dealing with this situation right now. i feel like a lot of folks can relate to this- while you may have support in places like school or sometimes even work you may not at home and it's especially hard when you're home from school for the summer or winter. i can totally understand how hard this would be on you right now and i'm sorry that the pressure from being observed by your family is so intense, i would feel the same way

if it's possible, i wonder if you would be able to go hang out at a friend's house and spend time with them there, if you know of anyone who has an accepting home environment? obviously you do NOT have to out yourself to anyone's parents, but if you know someone has accepting parents it may be worth a shot. you could also try to go somewhere fairly isolated, maybe hang out at a natural spot or park or something like that and just be yourselves

that can be a very hard situation to be in, i totally understand being scared of being spotted in public as well. you may be able to see if there are any places in town, like queer bars or other queer organizations in town that are safe for minors or have times for all ages meetups. a lot of places like these will have bathrooms where you could change in and out of your clothes, and you could keep them in a neutral backpack, or something like that!

it would only be an issue if you were seen leaving and folks knew about that location, but the likelihood of your parents or anyone being near a queer location and knowing about it is slim, and even if you came out of one you could say you were visiting a friend, or were curious about an event that they had going on because you saw cool costumes, you were enjoying the music, etc.

if anyone has any more suggestions feel free to add on, we hope you're able to feel more like yourself this summer without your parents getting in your business and stressing you out. you deserve to be able to be yourself, even if it's stressful and scary. i hope we can work something out for you, stay safe for now, rebecca!!