#im pretty sure there were at least two
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i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]
#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhite‚ virtuously indigenous]#and i have to be like. no. it's just that‚ as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 years‚#you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from.#it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as#a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from.#i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah#however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all.#but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora'#are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone#i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out.#ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant#and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify#myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but.#i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to#like. accommodate the facts of my family history.#sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days#box opener
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hope everyone had alright holidays!
a few days ago when we were driving home in the dark in windy and rainy weather after getting two of my siblings from the train we, for the first time in my lifetime im pretty sure, hit a deer that was crossing the street, none of us saw them before they got caught in the headlights and the first one made it over but we werent yet slow enough to not hit the second one ...
the deer lived but was kinda stunned, my dad pushed it off the street and while we were still on the phone with police it got up and ran away but my parents car got damaged and while its still drivable there are several parts that got bent and since its an older model too it might be hard to get it repaired
anyway, i didnt know deer fur was that grey until i saw it stuck to our bumper :(
merry crisis
#ganondoodles talks#random#personal#we are all fine and i wasnt the one driving#i just feel extra bad bc i was there in the front to help watch out for exactly stuff like that#but it was a weird spot and strange in that weather for them to cross#the police told us there was another accident with deer literally 10 minutes before us in the same area#so maybe thats why it was only two .........#i hope the deer is fine tho im pretty sure it at least has a broken leg#also i hope insurance covers the cost and it wont take too long#im very glad we were slow enough to not kill the deer and also not hurt it bloody bc i am still thinking about how it tumbled across#i am salty about how many people were speeding past us tho#car on the side with warning lights on and all doors open two people in car and two outside putting warning thingies up#if my dad hadnt pushed the stunned deer off the street when no one was coming it would have ended way worse for everyone involved
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I just saw a hoodie at the mall that says "famous people suck" and I think desperately-wants-to-retire rockstar Ed would wear that all the time
#also had a very stede coded moment when i was walking around in a shop amd realized that there were NO employees present#and my brain was like 'damn its almost like they WANT me to steal from them'#(there were actually two stores like this but one of them im pretty sure at least had a security camera)#2pm in the morning#ofmd#our flag means death#ed teach
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@lesharl-eclair here is the vettonso timeline I mentioned at some point!! I was gonna make a more refined version but ah, the original is fine so I'm posting it for you <3
Its written so its as if their careers began at the same time. There's obviously some parts where they deviate from each other(I blame Fernando), but they're pretty similar, no??
Here's some notes I have:
They both started at technically the same team(if you ignore that Seb raced one race for Sauber): Minardi/STR. And they spent 3 seasons either racing for that team or testing(Fernando for Renault, Seb for BMW teams), before being promoted to the team where they won their respective WDCS.
They both spent six seasons with their WDC team. And both won their WDCs using Renault engines. Both were pretty much the golden boys of their teams, beloved by their team principal and team in general. Unfortunately both aren't consecutive because Fernando tried out McLaren lol.
They spent a similar amount of years at Ferrari(five and six respectively.) Neither could win a WDC with Ferrai(😔) And both joined Ferrari in a very similar way. When Fernando joined, he ousted Kimi and it was very uncertain where Kimi was going. I think the commentators in 2009 predicted McLaren? (But he ended up taking a sabbatical obv.) But pretty messy, right? The literal same exact thing happened with Fernando and Seb in 2014-2015. They finally announced at the end of the season, even though it was pretty obvious, that Seb would be replacing Fernando. And where did Fernando go? McLaren! The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself. I guess I find it funny that Fernando replaced his former rival under somewhat messy circumstances, only for his other rival to do the exact same thing to him years later.
Okay McHonda and Alpine blah blah blah. Anyways they're probably going to have both end up competing their careers after two years with Aston Martin. This honestly is my favorite parallel. Because it's very sweet to me that Seb replaced Fernando, in an aforementioned messy way, only for Fernando to take Seb's seat in a very peaceful, almost "passing the torch" type exchange 🥰
#blah blah blah theyre mirrors do you get it 🥺#i was gonna make one where i took our mclaren and alpine bcs they pretty much match up perfectly#but ig it feels a bit weird to just rip them out of his timeline yknow#i think they still match up regardless of that though#and im sure Fernando prob wouldnt mind too much removing both from his history 😭#i love how kimi is just there as well for both the ferrari replacements#like he was there to be the pawn in fernando's and then there to be the unaffected teammate during the second one 😭#see actually this is why we never got them as teammates#it wouldnt make sense for the mirror theory okay 🙄#cause they have the same career but just a little bit offset#so you can look at it and go wow! and then cry yourself to sleep bcs you then realize you'll never get them as teammates#haha i just bought some merch and they're both in aston racesuits so at least *I'll* have vettonso teammates on a personal level#but i think if i ever draw more of that timeswap au +#i wanna draw them together when they were each at the respective parts of their career#ex. minardi nando x str seb. renault nando x rbr seb. sf nando x sf seb. amr nando x amr seb. YKNOW!?#<- ive already thought of some silly dialog for two of them lmao#anyways this is my thesis thanks. hope you enjoy and agree <3#catie.rambling.txt#vettonso#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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im realizing ive never played an rpg with romancable companions like i completely missed the boat on the mass effect/dragon age type games in high school. kotor doesnt count imo and the last long form rpg i played was literally 36 bit. that being said even if i KNEW it was coming (like i knew it was coming. sort of) lae'zel hitting on my tav shocked me so much i logged off LOL
#i say i knew but actually i wasnt expecting it to be her LOL and so early!!!!!!! its so early in the game.#but fr it was like. after all that i straight up was like we're not handling the goblin camp tonight im logging off and watching anime#i was mentally prepping myself cause there were two other party members i was pretty sure would end up working out but well#laezel w/ a steel chair or whatever. once again SO early#kotor straight up doesnt count for me at least not the way i played it when i was 15#bg3#need a personal tag 4 this campaign#but yeah i was really stressed abt smth else tonight so i was like lets play some baldurz and chill and and then i was like. no ill take th#the other thing actually
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now
#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know.#i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv#something i didnt do with any of the others#but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow#but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me#i liked the traps. that was it though#it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with#this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow#like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character#what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either.#i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like#because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a#different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable#i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame#but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time#why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time#not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once)#than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours#learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness#hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw#and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening?#im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is#why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw#ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise)#whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic.#im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy#ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda#accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff#(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)
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fighting my friend's sad beige baby aesthetic by introducing the bold color of navy blue to the baby clothing for my baby shower gift 😌💙
#i was looking at her registry and no joke the ONLY COLOR was navy blue#for like two solid color shirts#also all the clothes were solid color im pretty sure#all of them are beige white or grey its so so depressing#but there was a solid blue onesie someone else got#and a solid blue hat#i waited until all the clothes were gone and then got a cute set that had some navy blue with a bear on it and some navy and white checked#also there's anfew beige and white ones in the set so it shouldn't offend her vibe too much#its not overtly disrespectful#but at least there's a bit more color and some pettern now#also its bear themed to go with the little baby teddy bear and the corduroy books i got :)#its not super busy pattern wise since she clearly likes everything as boring as possible#it's still respectful of her vibe#but i managed to get some color and pattern and cute bears in there#anyway this poor baby#is going to have such a dreary colorless childhood#but i'm doing my part 🫡#we're gonna get some whimsy in there or die trying#oh i also got one of those adorable fluffy bear onesies it was like ten dollars!#it could be classified as beige but its more of a warm yellowy brown so its not too depressing lol#anyway i dont get the sad beige aesthetic at all#im not even 100% sure she did it on purpose idk she has absolutely no taste lol#everything she wears is also neutral colors and her home is generally decorated extremely boring and colorless also#possibly because neutrals go with everything? or maybe she just hates color idk#and also all patterns and shapes#and that's fine for an adult but kids need mental stimulation and like....fun lol#so im trying to introduce some as subtly and inoffensively as possible lol#bc her registry was so sad#even the sheets were gray and the diaper bag was black#but the blue i picked matches the hat and the other blue onesie perfectly so its an approved color and im just trying to include more of it
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...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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rant abt the bsd dub in the tags (both good and bad)
#ok WHO was in charge of the dub voices in the last season#why do oda and fukuchi share a voice#why do teruko and kyouka share a voice#what was going on with nikolai and how do we STILL not know who his actor is#jouno and tecchou's voices were wonderful though <33#like EVERY other character's voice matches them so well and then.#i mean cherami leigh fits both kyouka and teruko but. why does she have to voice two at the same time. they could've found someone new#like tara sands!! she already voiced q but they're not in the current arcs#and i think her voice would fit teruko much better. she voiced bisky in hxh and they have similar personalities#at least w the whole fukuchi/oda thing oda is like. dead. he's not Getting voiced anymore.#but i dont think his voice fits fukuchi at all im sorry </3#mushitarou's voice wasn't my favourite at first but it grew on me i like it a lot#also im pretty sure yokomizo and kunikida share a voice#and i think it actually turned out well but idk its not how i would imagine yokomizo to sound#its not bad though#sigma's voice is fine but it's SO masc#which like yeah CANONICALLY theyre a man but i thought it would be at least a little more androgynous#this all feels very negative so#i LOVE max mittelman as atsushi#i love him in general bc you can tell he loves all his roles#also sometimes i forget that he also voiced meruem in hxh because theyre?? so different?? and they SOUND different too#hes v talented#and kaiji tang as dazai!! so good!!!#again another va you can tell LOVES his role#and he captures dazai's energy so well and he's like. pretty much exactly how i'd imagine him to sound#and RAY CHASE'S (fyodor's) ACCENT. like he did not have to do that but he DID and it sounds so good#adored tachihara's old va but i do get why he had to leave#his new voice is gonna take a little getting used to but that doesnt mean its bad at all!!!#i do think ranpo's old voice fits him better but obviously that's not what's most important#and i think landon mcdonald is doing a good job!!!!
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God, so I've been playing the Assassin's Creed Rogue remaster recently (mostly cause I haven't played it since I beat to original back in like 2016 lol) and I keep getting constantly reminded that while this one and Black Flag are nowhere near my fav AC games, they certainly did shine in one particular aspect for me: the modern day conflict that constantly runs in the background.
I know it's such a controversial opinion, but honestly one of my fav parts of the series has always been the modern day war between the Templar and Assassin orders. Like I love it so much you have no idea. I always get so excited in the older games when you got shunted out of the animus and got to wander around and talk to your companions and read emails or found little voice files that hint towards all the other shit that's taking place while you have your little adventure in the past. I'm obsessed with it frankly. It's why I love the comics so much but have read so little of the novelizations: the latter spends absolutely no time delving into that clusterfuck. (The game novelizations that is, the novels based in the AC world are another thing entirely and I've enjoyed each of them immensely).
Like I need you to understand, I was fucking *devastated* when they removed it almost entirely from Unity and Syndicate, it was only the fact that I still got *some* hints from the databases and whatever video footage they showed that placated me. And yeah I know they made an extremely minor return in Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla, but only being able to explore like two or three time with basically no new information honestly means that I wonder why they were even included sometimes. That coupled with the fact that they removed the database entries *entirely* was pretty much a kick in the teeth for me. Sure they have the discovery tours now but that's really not the same thing. The history nerd in me loved loved LOVED anytime I went somewhere new and I got that ping of a new entry to read.
But I digress.
And I get it. I really do. Some people absolutely *hated* the modern day story line while the select few like me adore every scrap of information we can get for it. Hell, fucking Ubisoft's even come out and said that it's literally impossible for them to please everyone. One side will complain about being outside of the animus for a even a single moment while my camp will complain about there not being nearly enough of it. There is legitimately no middle ground to reach for our two camps. And I get that. That's why they made the choice that they're starting to move all of the modern conflict to online so those of us who do love it can seek it out on our own time, while the other can ignore it entirely.
It just sucks for me that while the newer games have a much more polished gameplay and are admittedly funner to play, it's the older ones that have, in my opinion, the best overarching story lines and beats.
#assassins creed#and yes i do stand by what i said regarding black flag#like don't get me wrong it's a fun game and all#i just think that it's a phenomenal 'pirate' game#but a lackluster ac entry#like edward was barely even an assassin#he was a pirate first and an assassin an *extremely*distant second#hell im pretty sure that the ac bit of the storyline doesn't even kick in until the last like fifth of the game!#like the pirating aspects of the game were super fun don't get me wrong#but the assassin bits?#the numerous small locations with only a handful of activites and one or two collectables in each one#made travelling to every single one and completing them a chore when for most you could finish them in half the time it took to sail there#and yes this is my same gripe with rogue#but at least that one revolves around an assassin/templar conflict the entire time#so it doesn't feel like im playing a pirate game with the ac name slapped on last minute to try and sell more copies
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realising i had at least one 'public' breakdown a.k.a randomly starts crying uncontrollably at school or in public transportation omw from school every academic year during highschool and they didn't just start randomly happening in form 4 oops!
#i remember the ones from form 4 onward bc for some reason my memories younger than 16 are sketchy#like they're there but after lots of digging#also the two from form 4 are particularly solidified in my brain compared to others#bc they were when i had friends n my friends were arnd#whereas the others happened more solitary tho in public#like 2 happened on public transportation omw home so like it was me alone n strangers if tht makes sense#2 the first two happened in class but thr was b4 i had friends n i thought i wss hving an asthm attack#n told my teachers tht as an excuse#a next one happened b4 classes started n i went out to the balcony behind the classes which was pretty empty#one person noticed n asked if i was ok but tht was still b4 i actually had friends#and well ooh boy there were so many during covid which was my last yr of hs lol#oddly i dont remember any during the first year of uni COVID#but omg i had so much during the 2nd year uni in person#oh no wait i do remember at least one during uni covid online#in general now they just seem to happen more#but im also not sure how much is bc im aware now#bc again thinking back now i can unearth some memories of them happening pre form 4/ being 16#dk what other memories there are#n childhood memories are shot#n while ik i was sometimes prone to moods™#all instances or it was always excused bc of my asthma n other meds#which was true#even using them now still has the side effects so#but just slso now they happen whenever too sigh#it's just this constant realization of wait shit what if smth is really wrong cri#n it progresses beyond my control#n i cnt hide it anymore#sigh sigh sigh scary#cloud nonsense
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possibly tmi but why tf does the body smell like it's on its period. we don't GET periods anymore the T and birth control basically eliminate it
#bc we NEED them eliminated bc they're genuinely debilitating#heavy flow to the point of dizziness (but ONLY on the first two days?)#cramps so bad we physically cannot walk like one day at school we had to be put in a wheelchair just to get to the nurse#bad pmdd symptoms#also we just. don't have the money in this household to keep up with buying all the stuff for that#not having to buy pads anymore bc i started BC at the same time as my mother started menopause#took a pretty sizeable chunk out of our living expenses#also i ruin clothes far less now#also our periods were Too Frequent#like the tracking app we used to use actually would yell at us that we were logging it too soon#like 'you're not due for starting this for another week! are you sure this is right?' YES im sure im literally SEEING IT RN#now we don't use tracking apps bc of government creepiness. paper calendar or vague as possible on phone calendar will do#haven't had a cycle since january tho since we got the arm implant#and we've only had the implant for less than a year (got it last december) so we shouldn't have to change it for 2 more years at the least
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having the worst fucking week of my LIFE i can't do this anymore.
#4 days straight government events at my internship. thesis got fucking overhauled by our adviser.#because he's using us to compete with his colleagues at the office.#had to juggle those two (+ my event. ill get to that later) that i got SICK what the fuck.#had the event ive been planning for about two months earlier. the fucking uni's general services office were assholes and caused us major#delays#which led to us getting fucking RAINED on so we had to CANCEL it HALFWAY and all of my kids#work on the stage and venue design got soaked in the rain#on top of all of these.#when i got back home after half a day of thesis. half a day of org work. my mom tells me#that rini and woong got taken by their mom and she can't find them anywhere#their bitch of a mother that leaves them starving all day to fucking sunbathe!!!!#i was bawling for a good thirty minutes last night UGH im pretty sure she just took them to the back of the house somewhere.#my mom's gonna ask help from the neighborhood kids to look for them huhuhuhuhu.#id be fine with it if the mom takes care of them. i seriously never tried to bother them too much until this weekend because i thought the#mom has been taking care of them but she hasn't so i had to feed them myself and sHE TOOK THEM AWAY 😭😭😭😭.#god i'm having the worst time.#and now i have to clean the aftermath of this ti#week's hell before i can finally fucking relax in my room.#i hate it here.#at least i'm hot.#event costume was an emo tiefling with a nearly six foot tall axe.#wore it while commuting to uni!!! loved the stares that i got it was very validating!!!!!!!!!!#gonna add that since this week has been pure shit#the only things that i had looking forward to at the end of every day was seeing my cats and feeding them and id feel instantaneously better#but now they're not around!!!!!! so i'm extra fucking sad!!!! god i feel like sobbing again!!!!!#there were only two things that i asked from the lord today.#that it wouldn't rain. and that i'd get my cats back.#neither of those fucking happened!!!!!!!!!! my event was thrown to hell and i still miss my fucking cats!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I get genuinely annoyed when ppl forget ann is a canon gamer + implied to like comic books. like... her idea of rebellion is catwoman and she mentions liking evil women in fiction cmon now stop pretending she's not a nerd bc she's the Conventionally Attractive Model Girl
#☢️.txt#like im p sure she mentions at one point that the kind of guys who hit on her dont like her personality#hell. its the joke with ryuji. he thinks shes hot but her personality isnt ~feminine~#or at least not Proper Japanese Girl. since her being foreign is actually a Thing#(her being mixed wouldve been enough for the outcast status but being raised overseas really increased it)#tho the game is really vague on when she lived overseas? i think its pretty direct that she didnt live in japan as a kid#but she knew ryuji and shiho from middle school with the implication being they were the only two who didnt#act weird about her being mixed. which i think doesnt read as clearly to western audiences#japan is NOT good about mixed people. despite being half japanese and probably somewhat raised in the culture#shes always going to be treated as Not Japanese and thats why she struggles to make friends even after kamoshida#+ is why shes shocked when other students ask to hang out with her#anyways. stan ann takamaki and also acknowledge shes just as weird as the rest of the thieves
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im finally going to replay y0...
#it's been a little over 2 years#and ive never replayed any of the games before so im very interested in what this is gonna be like#i just played them slowly and in order + lad ishin at the end#i kinda wanted to do the judgments first but uh. they're never on sale <3#someday though#ugh im nervous though#not about this but like. ok real ones will remember that a couple of months ago i mentioned i finally asked my mom for like. mental health#assistance that wasnt her telling me to stop spiralling. the two appointments we could do were like. next week or october#i technically have enough time to get my shit together but ive also like. never talked to an actual doctor about this stuff before#and she kept asking me if i could be more specific than 'general longterm mental health issues' (and anxiety which she added)#but like. i dont wanna tell her Shit about that yknow#especially not like. just woken up at 2pm no preparation#also she added anxiety on her own. so you KNEW it was an issue and you didn't fucking do anything about it? at all??#truthfully i don't think it's nearly as big of an issue as before. i get stressed about stuff sure but it's pretty circumstantial#like these days i dont have anxiety about much of anything because im not trying to decide my entire future between 8 hour days in the#bright lights and eye contact factory#girl you don't have any idea what we're getting into by doing this#anyway if i get an ocd diagnosis that'll be the most awkward because that's the only one they actively joke about and that i've butted head#with them on. (i mean theyre also shit to npd/aspd ppl i just haven't chewed them out for it yet bc every time i do that i end up useless#for the rest of the day at least and i gotta pick my battles)#and idek what i wanna do about the Probably Autism going on man. i've been thinking about doing foster care/adoption for years now#when im older/if im ever financially stable. a diagnosis could basically nuke my options for that#but they'd NEVER believe a self diagnosis#whatever FUCK JT ITS YAKUZING TIME!!!!!!!!!#OH AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME DOING ONE ON LEGEND#which im nervous about bc i never really play stuff on anything but normal#so uh. 😬😬
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