#im pretty sure i have bpd

[journalofanangel]

i haven't been able to take my meds properly and it's making me feel sick. i don't enjoy anyone's presence, everyone's boring and irritating, nothing outside of my own mind is interesting. it sucks.

i care about these things but it sucks.

i want a new job but it won't change anything because i don't like working anyway. I've been doing this for almost a year which is good but it doesn't make it any easier. people aren't easy to deal with when you have to smile and agree with everything they say. do you have any idea how stupid people can be? i love people on the worst of days but by Gods.

I've been avoiding therapy bc im scared ill yell at her. i don't want to yell, I don't yell, but the fear is there. it's scary.

[failyaoi]

Mk1 disorder headcanons w my fav characters

(If you see smth you don't like here pls just ignore 😭 I dont want to be involved in discourse) (also please do not demonize any of the disorders that are shown ty)

Johnny Cage: BPD + Audhd

Due to his childhood with his dad and early Hollywood career, he developed bpd. His entire childhood he was petrified of his mom leaving, and leaving him with his dad, as she almost had a few times. His early career as an actor left him becoming erratic due to some experiences and ended up doing a lot of stupid things during episodes. He gets attached really easily but tries not to show it and fails MISERABLY. This also means he mentally and emotionally distances himself from people really really fast. He's really, really scared of people leaving him behind and it's utterly exhausting for him, he'll self-sabotage just so that he isn't the one being 'abandoned'. With the nature of his career and the standards that come with it, being exposed to it young was like his own personal heaven and hell because the rejection was like dying and the praise was like being high. His special interest is history and gets very passionate about it ^_^

Kenshi: CPTSD + Quiet BPD + Autistic

Kenshi growing up in the Yakuza....witnessed a lot of shit since he was a little kid. He only got to be a normal kid for a very short amount of time before he was groomed by his family to become a Yakuza member. His PTSD comes from many events like his parents dying, hurting people and getting hurt, various violent events and loss of identity as his own person....instead of expressing his frustrations, he internalised it as a way to protect himself. When he met Suchin she kinda broke him out of dissociation and helped him understand he is actually a person. He continued to have dissociation issues but now that he had support from someone he trusted, he was finally able to do some normal people stuff with her and he finally started seeing a future where he was free. However years later in the midst of freeing himself he made a few mistakes which caused Suchin to distance herself from him which hit him kinda hard. He doesn't know how to unmask but being around Johnny has gotten him to relax a little bit and enjoy the little things (like movies)

Takeda: DID + BPD + Autistic (same for MkX)

Takeda having DID was actually my first headcanon for a mk character....I don't really have any canon evidence for it (it's mostly just projecting onto a character I see myself in) other than the fact he's been through a lot of very traumatic events canonically as seen in the comic. For BPD in MkX, it would come from Suchin dying then Kenshi leaving. in Mk1 Id assume something like emotional neglect from his "parents" (not Kenshi or Suchin; teen parents au believers hi xd) I haven't gotten too much into it for Mk1 but I'm #1 system Takeda believer ☝️ (just an edit for mk1 Takeda having DID, I think he could have developed it as a way to subconsciously protect himself from all the violence . he distanced himself from the reality of it which is why he ended up "enjoying" his life in the yakuza)

For more simple ones just for the sake of keeping this short, here's a small list for more characters

Kung Jin, Tomas, Liu: PTSD

Bpd Jin is also real

Bi-Han: DID

Lao, Raiden, Liu, Sonya, and it's safe to say literally everyone else in mortal kombat is on the autism spectrum

vvv tags for more :3

[theokusgallery]

i have bad news for anyone who expects mental illness to be family friendly

^ yeah!

[tittyinfinity]

My neurodivergencies and mental illnesses overlap so much that you could diagnose me with about anything at this point

[mathswizard]

an empath snook into my room and read all the bad chakras ive been leaving behind in there... as a male manipulator usually i just aura mask so an empath cant read me but since thats not worked does anyone have any advice on how to destroy the empath in a mind battle?

[puppetlooselystrung]

i love how werewolves can account for so many things. trans allegory. mental illness/mental disorder allegory. probably could go for neurodivergent allegory too if you ask the right people who think it that way

[cherrysnax]

trying not to post too much during the strike to keep focus on Everything but I need to get out of my head a lil

[frankenstheythem]

bout to start diagnosing myself w the most bonkers shit just to spite my psychiatrist honestly

[nervousyoungtwinfantasydog]

getting high at 11 am and listening to dark wave at full volume before my neuroscience lecture is very #mecore

[crayonverse]

i love how all the interns are neurodivirgent in some way . everybody at the jeffersoian is nd and you cannot prove otherwise

[redheadcadavar]

Despite everything, that girl inside you is screaming for something, anything, to just take her away.

Everything inside is still part of that girl who isn't here, and the boy in place of her has to suffer with what was done to her, that she can never escape from.

She will always be wrong and dirty and something unholy, and the boy will claw himself apart to just get her out of his rotting body from her necrosis spreading to him.

You will always be that girl looking to Pease others. The girl knows what it means to survive, the boy only knows how to scream.

Nothing is right anymore.

[psychoticwillgraham]

at this point I’ve got every mental illness in the book. love that for me :))

[chuuyasdog]

It feels like im two people sometimes.

"Moth" and "Jazz" are two completely different people, and I am somehow both and also neither.

The only reason I felt uncomfortable when my online friend said jazz (they were talking about the music, he didnt know that was my other name) was cause in that moment I was 'Moth".

"Jazz" is not a deadname. I frequently use it, and I like it when others call me "Jazz".

"Moth" is not an online only name, and I didnt just pick it as a new name cause of not being cis.

I am Jazz.

I am Moth.

Sometimes I am both at the same time. Most often tho I am either one or the other,and thats not dictated by wether or not im online, I have been Moth in real life and Jazz online.

Sometimes I am neither of these people.

Sometimes I find it hard to tel which one I am unless someone uses my name, either one, and then it will either feel right or not.

[tansyleaf]

screaming i am so dizzy qnd in pain ans all i can think abt is writing an essay on how just abt every character in furuba shld b lgbt in some way but the author made it so cishetwronormative and weirdly kinda inc*stuous and lowkey transphobic AND had weird age gap relationships qnd didnt let it live up to its full potential and even though i love furuba sm since its like. kinda a special interest lowkey sincw ive loved it since middle school it has so many issues and i wanf to rewrite it SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [writes an essay on every character and how they cld b improved]

[pinksugardollz]

Self Care Guide For Bad Mental Health Days

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

♡ let yourself cry! feeling sad when you have bpd can feel like the world is ending, but it isn’t. feeling sad is normal, and it’s completely okay. don’t demonise your emotions. let it out

♡ cuddle with your pets! cats are absolutely amazing for this, dogs too. lil furry babies make me so happy and cheer me up so much when im feeling low

♡ take as many naps as you need without guilt. rest rest rest, even on your good days! stop overworking yourself

♡ shower, you don’t have to do your full routine, just make sure you wash yourself then apply your favourite lotion and sweet scented perfume

♡ cosy up and watch something that makes you happy. nostalgic tv shows are great, on my bad days i really love watching spongebob bratz or strawberry shortcake

♡ invest in a 2L water bottle and keep it by your bed for those low motivation days

♡ light your favourite bakery scented candle, sweet scents always uplift my mood

♡ do not isolate yourself, try to keep in contact with friends or family

♡ eat some chocolate or chips, whatever your favourite comfort food is. your happiness is more important than your diet

♡ if you’re struggling to get out of bed, try keeping everything you need on your bedside table so you can still do your skincare routines and take your daily vitamins from your bed

♡ run a nice relaxing bubble bath!!!

♡ put on some cosy pjs & grab a pink fluffy blanket and snuggle on the sofa instead of staying in bed all day

♡ set rules for yourself, write some things you that want to achieve in a day. such as keeping your skin moisturised, shower twice a day, drink enough water, getting out of bed. anything that applies to you. self care can become confusing and daunting, so write everything down to remind yourself to look after and cherish yourself

♡ make sure you’re eating enough. even if you’re not feeling hungry, if you don’t have the energy to cook, order takeout! it’s ok to eat takeout sometimes, just not all of the time as junk food can be highly addictive, and obviously isn’t very good for you

♡ try writing down your thoughts and feelings. i love journaling and covering the pages with pink stickers and making it look all pretty, it’s so therapeutic

♡ reach out to a mental health professional if things get too bad. this may feel hard, but if you need help desperately pls get it

♡ acknowledge that what you’re feeling is just temporary, whatever you’re feeling won’t last forever

♡ make sure you’re getting enough sleep. whenever i didn’t get enough sleep in the past, i would sometimes start seeing and hearing things, and would become very paranoid and disassociated, which is obviously not what anyone wants. so pls pls pls make sure you’re prioritising your sleep

♡ treat yourself, buy something pink and pretty just because you can

♡ take a day or 2 off work (if allowed)

tiny disclaimer: these tips may seem obvious to those of you without serious mental health problems, and they may be things you do everyday but when someone with mental health problems is in a really bad place, they can sometimes forget how to look after themselves properly, or in my case a few years ago i would just stop caring about myself. i love all of my pretty sugar dollies so much, look after yourselves and i really hope some of these tips help you 🎀🦢

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for kind of manipulating a friend in hopes she'll stay away from my not-so-really partner?

(emojis to find later: 🌸🌸🌸)

ok so this is kind of insane and im very mentally ill (self-diagnosed; done lots of research and have come to the conclusion of bpd, diagnosable according to the dsm-5) so this won't sound very rational or. normal. but here we go

so i (15FTX) have a classmate (15F?) who i've been in a close friendship with for 1.4 years. let's call her vick for this ask. i fell in love with her about a month into our friendship and it grew into her becoming my favorite person. i think of vick 24/7 and i put a lot of care and love into her, we're even planning to move in together into a dorm for university. i confessed to her about my love in october 2023 and she confessed she'd been having "weird" feelings about me since the first month of our friendshsip as well, but she doesn't know if it's anything romantic or not. we have stayed friends due to religious reasons but she has also said she wouldn't have minded us dating if religion wasn't a factor (we're muslim).

i've been pretty committed and loyal to her ever since i confessed and i consider her more important than anything, but i don't get this back and im fine with that. i can deal with it for the most part. it makes me jealous when she interacts with others so casually, but she obviously has the right to have other friends and care about other people and i absolutely know im not allowed to interfere with that no matter how i feel.

enter our other classmate (14F), who i'll call flower for this ask. she was fine at first and had noticed my jealous stares and made jokes about it, saying she had no intentions of "taking my wife from me" and often jokes about being scared of me. we're on good terms and we chat often at school like normal friends.

but recently, flower has started being extremely touchy-feely with vick, taking vick's hand and putting it on her thigh, leaning towards her, making extremely suggestive jokes... and this is a special treatment to vick, too, flower doesn't do this with anyone else in the world. i love vick much more than she ever could and not even i have such confidence with her. beyond that, vick's pretty uncomfortable with physical touch too, so i never risk making her uncomfortable and do my best to not touch her unless she touches me first despite being a very physically affectionate person myself. and there's flower, being all willy-nilly with vick like it's all fine and i feel kind of betrayed seeing flower be like that when i try so hard to accomodate vick's preferences.

you can guess that flower's intimate treatment for vick, who i love with all my heart, has caused me to hate flower with a burning passion. she's like a physical roadblock in my relationship with vick and im tired of it.

so i had an idea.

this merely started the last day of school before the break, and i can't continue it now because i don't have any oppurtunities to see flower, but what i started doing was i would be very affectionate with flower myself.

i would compliment her, make jokes, initiate conversation, it even came to the point flower joked about falling in love with me. i feel scummy doing this because i will never return whatever affection she'll develop for me, but im genuinely tired of flower and this is the most ethical thing i can think of.

by doing this, im hoping flower will see me as the person to pull all her joking advances on. this way, i won't feel like she's taking vick away from me, and i can be sure vick won't abandon me for flower. i also know i sure as hell won't be abandoning vick for flower, so this way my relationship with vick will basically be secured and flower will just be a nuisance that comes and goes and i'll just have to pretend i like it, which will be much easier than pretending to be fine with flower being affectionate with vick.

now i don't even have to type out all the ways i could be the asshole here but this is the most ethical thing i can think of, like i said. it's a win/win situation. vick pays more attention to me so im happy, flower's advances are redirected to me so flower's happy and im not in danger of losing my relationship with vick. i know vick doesn't care much about flower either so she'll be fine too. so everyone's happy! and flower's never gonna know her close friend from highschool actually hated her guts, so she won't ever be sad either.

but um. you know. the whole manipulating out of envy part of it and all.

just talking with vick about it isn't an option because vick already knows how much i hate it, but i guess she's only ever seen it in a joking environment where i was making light of it so she doesn't really know how much i hate it. i also can't just tell her to stop talking with someone because it makes me sad. i guess im being hypocritical because this also means i shouldn't manipulate someone away from her just because it makes me sad but i actually can't stand it it genuinely makes me suicidal and homicidal in many ways and this is the only thinng in my power that i feel like is okay-est to do

therapy is not an option my dad has a degree in psychology so he'd say "just talk to me instead" and he would think im crazy if i actually said anything about all this to him + he's extremely homophobic

ok that was a lot. um.

aita for manipulating flower away from vick just to have peace of mind?

What are these acronyms?