#im posting it now cuz i need to remind people that i still make art lol

[croudjay]

SBI 3/3

[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[minmin-pal]

I was floored when I searched jjba in the site I usually watch anime at and there were so many options, i kinda got confused but i found a 'watch order complete guide' so that's fixed but i never knew jjba didn't have that many fillers? apparently, all the ova's related to the story so it's recommended to not skip anything, excited to watch it tbh, long continuity types r a grind but the complex storylines are pretty rewarding when they finish im p sure, excited to see the animation too tbh

and ohh u both watched the prev seasons together? were you both able to understand the plot properly? (/genquestion/lyttheart) it never rlly occured to me that people watch anime 2gether since i usually rewind a lot (/lytheart) and oh wait, i'll make sure to hold off on reading the manga till after i finish watching the show then, ty for the warning :')! (/gen)

even though it got spoiled for you, i hope you were still able to enjoy stone ocean! (/gen) and yea i'm gonna need to agree, the character design for j geil is so wel-done it actually warrants an actual physical reaction from the audience (physical "yikes" from me lol), it really does fit his character or what i assume his characterization is meant to be xp does it make sense that the first time i saw his design i assumed his head was either: a rotten food or literal turd? idk haha(/lytheart) the art style definitely is dynamic and unique i can agree (/positive)

and ohh, using album song names as attack/power names is actually so clever, i don't know if i would've understood the reference until a few weeks but yeah it is deffo really smart(/gen) is there any other similar references like that? and woah, so kira is like a very plot relevant char (at least for those seasons im assuming) and oh part 1/2 are different from the others? looking forward to seeing how tbh but i'll find out when i watch that scene :D (/positive) a 'flaw' btw? i'm resisting the urge to find posts about it and watch for myself (/joke/lytheart) that sounds super cool

and i just searched for 'jjba part 4 rohan blue hair' scene, i don't know if i found it but i found some other scenes with different and p unique colorings. i'm really curious how they integrated that with the anime actually though i imagine it was around the fight scenes since those scenes typically have the most effects? and woah, his design definitely looks nice tbh, i don't know why but the bit about you saying "kinda cuz theyre pretty not bizarre (in comparison.)" reminds me of that one meme with the guy in yu-gi-oh w/ the normal hair as opposed to literally even in the series lol

and ohh, on rohan, i haven't seen many 'self-insert' type characters, at least not ones that have had good fandom reception?) but he does actually sounds really cool as a character from what you've said, i'm looking forward to seeing him carry the manga economy for a bit haha, that'd actually be a good promotion stunt now that i think abt it lol and yea no worries, ramblings r ver fun to read (/lytheart)

tbh i haven't seen much from csm aside from the makima memes and a fanart about one of the demon designs but it deffo looked very cool! and ohh, kobeni? she's a major character ryt? i never knew her name before but she looks super pretty tbh, and yay i'm glad you like her,! (/lh) i've heard the series gets kinda dark at some scenes? not sure about the specifics really, but from the scenes you've shown of him, denji's humor is pretty funny ngl xD and yikes for makima, idk anything about her tbh but if it's major spoilers i assume it's important to the story,, and yeah not liking her as a person is p understandable :'))

you've mentioned you read spyxfam and kimi ni koisuru satsujinki(found out the english trans is something like 'Killer In Love')? could I ask what you like about those? any scenes stuck out to you? liked and disliked chars maybe? (feel free to skip any questions btw!) slice of life is definitely a very fun genre tbh, is there maybe any anime/manga/whichever media that you don't particularly like maybe? or your just not that fond of? (random question so feel free to skip if you'd like to again btw) this got a tad long lol, sorry bout that! take care and thank you for answering the past few asks i've sent :D (/gen)

last bit- ur new pfp and banner looks super cool btw! is that kobeni? i just noticed the pins on her hair lol so i'm p sure, looks nice (/gen/lytheart) i was replying while reading the post btw so some bits from this myt not make 2 much sense--

YAYAYAYA the certified best way to watch it is to watch part 1 & 2 (phantom blood + battle tendency in the same like period of time?? like dont take a break after phantom blood ends (by break i mean stop watching for a month) then you watch 3, 4, then the rohan kishibe ova's. if ur in it for the fact its jojo id say to watch the anime ova version, then to watch the live action one later whenever you feel like it- its jojo but not art so it doesnt really pack that exact same punch after the ovas you watch part 5 and then 6 the one thing i'll say about jojo (other than every other thing ive said :D) is that araki does not give a fuck he WILL kill the characters you love and he will NOT feel sorry even the main character isnt safe i honestly would not reccommend reading past part 6's manga because part 7, 8 and 9? havent been animated yet the mangas just good to read because its the original you feel araki's like self in it (more) or whatever

(this is a Long one. like genuinely)

we both understood the plot really well jojo can be confusing, but.. almost... everything is eventually cleared up and its great also ,. the FORESHADOWING in this series is unreal. it does not exist thats how crazy it is /j

i still enjoyed stone ocean aswell i knew what happened but it still was like "w w o w that just happened" also it was the first time id seen cgi used in anime and it was super cool

the using song names for abilities stuff is like, really reoccuring i think almost every power after part 2 has some musical/tarot connection theres a lot more obvious (?) examples of this like "man in the mirror" named after the michael jackson song, or notorious b.i.g, or the one named metallica depending on the kind of music you like its more easier to pick up on the references

kira is VERY plot relevant. so plot relavant i insist you do not search him up at all it might be hard cuz ive been gassing him up but once you get there youll see why part 1/2 are different for a big reason which will become immediately clear 10 minutes into part 3 for that reason a lot of people say to skip the first two parts when starting but i just say No....? like. theyre plot relevant, they set the stage, and they bring in joseph and jonathan!!!! those guys are amazing and telling people to skip those part because what? cause its not like the rest is such a slap in the face them not being the same is the point!! part 1 and 2 are set way back like way back like with cowboys so theyre not going to have the stuff/ thing that made part 3 forward different because they just werent there technology wise!!! part 1 is such a charming part because jonathan is literally such a sweet heart like SUCH a sweetheart and part 2 is brought together by joseph and these other 2 characters (spoilers) plus part 1 is literally the most important season ever. i wont say why but. it is. season 3 only works because of the stuff it takes from 1 and 2, literally in show or just in like writing or art (as in the people from part 1 and 2, and the way the storys work) I AM RAMBLING.

uhhh rohans coloring switches and all or the big color changes like

that ^ aren't always cause of big scenes (though that one kinda is) thats whats cool about it though?!?!?!

honestly i think rohan started as a self insert but just became araki's favorite character which is so fun because its like no way a side-ish character got his own ova AND live action version hes just him (on the topic of the live action rohan ova--- i am SO glad they didnt make him. irl anime. becuz like whats the point then just watch the anime hes honestly just real rohan and its great they didnt make the actor dye his hair neon green or anything)

the devils in csm are super cool i love the designs cuz theyre. they re all so unique :DD i dont recall which but one of them really reminded me of like the collosal titan from aot (which is another show i really like) uhh you should def not search up ANYTHING having to with aot also like jojo its a series i watched with my brother :D he'd already watched it but he wanted to show it to me ANYWHP denji reminds me of joseph from jojo humor wise sorta. like ever so slightly (i kinda like denji more cuz hes just he makes me do that little throat laugh where you make no sound but you did definitely laugh

about sxf and killer in love it seems well ill staft with spy family but i love it because . found family is one of my favorite tropes ever ALSO LOID AND ANYA/ ANYA AND YOR'S RELATIONSHIPS R SO SWEET i have never awwed over fictional characters like i awwed over everyone in spy family

theyre so. :holding_back_tears:

i jus love how sweet it is. killer in love though i love for.... sorta the opposite reason i first liked it because the way the mc felt about this girl was just. really the same as how i feel about this.... one girl... ive mentioned her before i think so flatout i like it cuz i related to the mc but BUT hes kinda a serial murderer which is why i have to ask you to take everything i say with a grain of salt he is one flawed mc. like hes fucked actually hes mental but like.... i get it.... like i reread it and the entire time i was like yeah you do you bro i get it. ALSO ITS GENUINELY SO GREAT WRITING WISE AND VISUALLY it has no right being as pretty as it is visually like i censored the words cuz theyre spoilers but

its!! ITS SO its so prettyyyyy.... (also i really cant show where i relate to the mc-- cuz theyre spoilers aswell really but!! i can show you him

idk if itd register but he was ALWAYSS my layouts until really recently usually him and this one scene where he's holding a knife as the banner

for spy family i have no characters i hate honestly, but for killer in love i heavily dislike this one boy.

i dislike him so much... that i . dont remember his same

hes just not it if you read it youll see why theres another character like him,you actually meet him wayyy before this guy, and theyre both bad in the same way but the other guy is just so pathetic that i cant hate him. cause like i get it

uhhh i dont really like isekais or fanservice romance animes if its a romance anime and the main character is a brown haired boy, i 9/10 times skip it cuz theyre usually a miss the only isekai ive ever stomached is devil is a part timer and i just couldnt watch season 2 this one isnt particularly a genre but if the female interest looks 15 and has. double d's not that there arent girls built like that but if you cant make good female designs, you probably cant write a good story either (the only exception being one piece- but holy hell i cannot watch it. i know its great but what is. THIS?)

they all are the same girl and then you look at the male designs you get

are they from the same show????

another trope.. well design i hate and throws me off is Thigh Highlights. chest highlights. shoulder highlights. this one more applys to artists than anime honestly but 9 times out of ten if someone does little white highlights on their big breasted teenage looking characters chest they probably like little kids i have to say it 9/10 times they love children thats just how it is second i notice the shading like that i just cant trust them

also i dont mind how long it got dwdw im super glad you send these cause it always has me rethinking on stuff i like and forming newer opinions really :))

the new layout is kobeni!! im glad it looks nice to you :D (also the lengths okay with me.. usually t takes me a while to formulate everything so i go back and forth with drawing and continunt these... which is why some ideas might feel disconnected... everything made sense though) ive gotta like. give you a aname or something youre..... uhh idk if youd feel comfortable sharing so u are. uuh custard? :D

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuouki Yuugiroku 3 Short Episode “Very Similar”

This translation is from the 3rd Yuugiroku game “Hakuoki Yuugiroku - Taishitachi no Daienkai,” and I will not be referring to it as such since it’s too much of a hassle to copy/paste/look up the title every time plus I reserve the right to be lazy since I don’t see anyone else translating anything from this game! xD lol... as such, this why I will only be tagging this under ‘Yuugiroku 3.’

ANYWAY.

when i was taking a break from filling up my queue with ssl stuff, i ended up translating this for some reason. lol. should probably have done something from kyoka-roku since there’s still that rain scenario stuff and the other char povs to do, but since i have translations for about 95% of this game (not counting yuugiroku 1 [have a patched psp iso file but I don’t care to learn how to extract text from it as i’m lazy] and 2 [have various tl for this... very unorganized plus some of it is incomplete] which are bundled onto this vita game), i figured that it didn’t matter if i got a tiny head-start. The only thing I can’t translate/have no translations for from this game is the section that has no text where the guys comment on various drinks or something (can’t remember what they are aside from sake cuz i distinctly remember Saito saying something about sake and tofu lol), and the misc dialogue that occurs when you select something in the menu or during the mini-games.

In regards to this content, I think this was in what was referred to as the “Appreciation section” [not sure+too lazy to check jp mtl], though the translation of the text on the right on the first image below the cut is ‘episode’ in Chinese so I will be labelling this as such... There are a total of 9 in these in the game.

all images used in this post are my screenshots aside from the game box art (this is the limited ed bonus version). do not repost elsewhere.

enjoy~

Hakuouki Yuugiroku Taishitachi no Daienkai - Episode “Very Similar” 

Translation by KumoriYami

Characters [text on bottom left]: Hijikata, Okita, Sakamoto 

Hijikata: Ah, I'm back.

Sakamoto: Yo Hijikata, I've come to visit.

Hijikata: ...! You are Sakamoto! What are you doing here!

Souji: We were just talking about HIjikata-san.

Hijikata: Me?

Sakamoto: Yeah! You and I were born in the 6th year of Tenpō [天保], really what a coincidence!

Hijikata: What nonsense, weren't there a lot of people born in that year?

Souji: That's not all, Sakamoto-san is also the youngest son of a rich family.

It's no wonder why [these] two [have] faces that looked completely spoiled by everyone and the world around them.

Hijikatta: Are you qualified to tell me that?

I suffered a lot during those days/years [the actual word used is "years" but the phrase used can mean either "in those days", "during that time", and "in those years"].

Sakamoto: That's right, have you tried being a merchant?

If you're capable of doing that, you should go and open and up your own store. [theres no damn pronoun subject in this sentence but based on jp mtl  and context, im assuming he's telling souji off]

Souji: Hijikatasan, you opened a store/ran a store? With his temper? That's not the way to joke [That's not something to joke about/That's a bad joke?].

Hijikata: Shut up! I also didn't think that suitable for me to do.

Sakamoto: After your parents also died early. [Weren't you] raised by your eldest sister who is [now the] closest to you too? Actually, that's another a coincidence!

Souji: Eh, it is like that. I was also left with my elder sister after my parents died early.

Sakamoto: Oh, then you were also brought up by your elder sister!

Souji: I don't remember so who knows.

Sakamoto: You don't remember....... you can't remember your own sister?

Souji: Mah, it's more complicated for me.

Sakamoto: (whispered) Although I don't understand that, it's better to not ask questions.

Hijikatta:  (whispers) Yeah, the exterior of this guy is [already] super troublesome.

Souji: By the way, doesn't Sakamoto-san have a friend who is sick and bedridden?

Sakamotto: Ah you're talking about Takasugi?

That guy is bedridden [literally: 'to fall gravely ill, never to recover' (idiom)] because of tuberculosis.

Hijikata: Tuberculosis.......  it's said to be an incurable disease, [we?] should go and meet him while he's still alive.

Souji: Hm....... There are similarities even in this aspect?

Hijikata: What did you say?

Souji: Nothing, just thinking aloud.

(”art” cg)

Hijikata: That reminds me, this morning you drew on my face while I was asleep!

Souji: I obviously used prepared ink, [so] I don't know how you managed to remove it.

Hijikata: I was desperately worked to get it off! It would have been a disaster if I didn't leave without checking a mirror!

Souji: It would be better to have all the mirrors inside headquarters hidden away next time I draw.

Hijikata: Souji, you.......!

Sakamoto: I don't know if the relationship between you is good or bad.

I've heard that the Shinsengumi rules and ranks are well respected [maintained/adhered to.. i guess?].

But this doesn't look it's harsh to a deranged degree.

Souji: that's right, even though Hijikata-san looks like this, he's a very tolerant person.

(cg 2)

Hijikata: Hmph, it's annoying how you say whatever comes to mind [say whatever you please].

Souji: I'm serious, I truly respect Hijikata-san.

Hijkata: Shut up. If you're going to be making stupid comments, hurry up and leave with Sakamoto. I have documents I need to write!

Sakamoto: What? It wasn't easy for me to come/I finally managed to come [yet] you're so cold and detached.

Souji: Hijikata-san is such a person, but as he says, we should go. Ah by the way Sakamoto-san, are you able to write haiku?

Sakamoto: Oh? I'm only able to write basic phrases at the level of an ordinary person [I can only write basic phrases].

Souji: I have a lovely book of haiku, would you like to take a look?

(oni cg with horns + sound of thunder)

Hijikata: You stole my haiku collection again! I will absolutely not be letting you off today!

--------------------

did this in june lol. 

i do like these short stories... not that yuugiroku 3 has any real plot to speak of, though i have no idea when I’ll translate another of these or anything from this game again for that matter since i still got ssl and ginsei no shou to work on.

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Uhm, my day was decent? I mean aside from the fact that mornings exist and I did not want to wake up in time for my shift at work. But. And the end of the day when I have literal hours to do stuff after.. it works out cuz. Usually I get off and its oh shit I have enough time to halfway emotionally recharge and then its time for bed.

But. I got in and E^2 had put like. My name down on the schedule, and. That was great really. And we had this sheet for sign up of, basically what areas you want to be personally responsible for. And I signed light and it was great. And I dont think anyone really noticed cuz the manager wasn't there and no one else really looked at the schedule or anything else. But. It made me happy.

Still haven't gotten my name tag changed and honestly I dont think I'm going to. Cuz. I feel like I'm just being a bother asking again. But. It is what it is I guess.

I got off at five and its now nine and ive just been vibing in the car listening and singing to Spotify since I got off just trying to keep the sad at bay. And I should probably go home but. I dont want to. Cuz I know I'm just gonna wallow in the sad and self destructive tendencies if i go home.. If I ask nicely will the fae take me in as one of their own and I can become a cryptid in the woods?????

I have a three day weekend coming up and im considering doing a touch up on my hair since its really washed out. But I cant decide if I wanna keep it fully red or try and do like an ombre double tone thingy.. but I'm not sure what other color I'd try to do to the tips? Idk

I kinda wish my hair was longer so I could do like. The galaxy hair thing? Where its various shades of purple and blue and some pink and it looks different depending on how you style it. But I also know attempting to grow my hair out longer than I already plan to is a bad idea, cuz the sides and back are already getting too long and I hate it. But I wish I could do fun stuff with it too

Oh well. The duality of man i guess..

Uhm. I bought a giant plastic egg the other day, that reminds me of a dragons egg kinda. And I'm trying to decide if I should keep a hoard of dice in there or a hoard of crystals. Cuz. Dice and the clacky math rocks. But. Also shiny crystally gems

Speaking of dice I also really kinda want to try and get into a dnd group, but social anxiety and I have zero idea where to start with that so. That's fun.

Im currently resisting the urge to go and get more holes and metal in my head too. I just. The red hair makes me feel cool and powerful and I wanna look punk and

Sorry I've been rambling for like half a novel. I'll stop now before I get annoying. I mean I definitely already am. But you asked for asks and distractions and 👉👈 I love you

Id ask about your day but you seem to want a distraction from that sooo. How about, got any fun headcanons to share??

Thats awesome on the name front!!! I saw that and I got really excited for you when you posted the picture this morning, honestly I think you should bring up the nametag again, esspecially if its showing up on the schedule too. (Oddly enough I kicked around the idea of using a new name with friends and sruff today which is weird mostly bc like i like my name irl, its fairly androgynous and it makes me happy and i love my online name bc it means me :))

My vote is two tone!! I almost did a pink/purple ombre with my hair this round so I say do ittttt (that's also what I say about the extra holes and metal. Do itttttrrr)

That would be a hard choice but u do really like the idea of a giant dragons egg full of dice ngl. I need to find some people to play with too. I'm trying to get b and c in on something but idk if its ever really gonna pan out the way I want it too. My town actually has a pretty active dnd community but I am way too new and way too socially anxious to ever join something like that so I feel you there.

100% not annoying, each paragraph made me smile more. :)

My day was actually mostly ok, i just sorta ruined it with Danny at home. I just pointed out that the idealized dream band life that I wanted and thought I had was what she got and that it made me kinda jealous and she pointed out (correctly) that I'm jealous of so many aspects of her life that she now has a list of things she can't talk to me about for fear of setting me into a spiral and just. Yeah. That wasnt fun.

But work was ok. The kids all were really tierd so there was a fair bit of crying going on, but the weather was really nice so we got to go outside with them for a long time and that was very nice. I also got some really sweet cuddles from a few of them that made me very happy.

Oh! I also have a funny story about them!! So I was squatting (my main position is almost like Spiderman bc I'm down on the kids' level but i can also get up and move if I need to pretty quick) and one of the girls goes and gets a book, then stands right in front of me and points at the floor and says "sit" in the most authoritative voice I have ever hear from a 1 1/2 year old 😂 as soon as I sat down she was in my lap and opening the book so I could read to her.

As far as headcanons.... Sadly my brain is bouncimg mostly art ideas for the Tamgled au and not anything of substance so I may take a crack at that later. Otherwise I keep thinking about whumped up Will crying on the floor and Maurie finding him. Really I'm just thinking about Maurie and Will being bros. A lot. So much. God I love them.

[solaneceae]

MY HUMAN!EGOS AU

i got a surge of inspiration and started creating my own versions of the egos! its still a work in progress but i love them to bits and im really excited to share them

JACKIE

grew up in an abusive household, emotional and sometimes physical abuse

parents screamed at each other all the fucking time, father was an alcoholic

Left home as soon as he was able to live by himself (16)

he’s 22 now

poor

trans boi, on T, wears a binder cuz he can’t afford top surgery

lives in an apartment with two roommates: Max, a philipino sound designer and independent musician (they/them) and their girlfriend Nilanjana (Nana), a buff training coach from indian descent

Jackie is in a queerplatonic relationship with them: they cuddle and kiss on the forehead during movie nights and all that cute shit

he has a part-time day job to pay the rent and bills: he gives self-defense lessons

he drinks his respect women juice

vigilante at night. gets hurt a lot. his roommates think he fights in an illegal fight club for extra cash and are worried about him

wants to save people and spread positivity wherever he goes

but he has the wrong way to go about it

basically he does the PMA thing wrong and thinks any kind of negativity is bad and tries to force himself to be happy all the time. 

not healthy, someone help this poor boi

anger issues, undiagnosed ptsd and ADHD

antsy boi! stimmy boi! He’s always bouncing on his feet or humming a tune or fiddling with his hair

aromantic asexual

pure of heart, dumb of ass. seriously, he’s such a dumb, but he does have street smarts

vitiligo!!

light blue eyes, dyes his brown hair lime green

extrovert, loves people

the kind of guy to record himself doing parkour and post it on tiktok

team hot cocoa

for the love of god please don’t give him coffee, he’s enough of a jitterbug already

wants a dog. prolly needs an emotional support one.

plays the drums. Fished a beat-up set somewhere, would like a proper one

fights with his fists and a wooden staff

no special powers, just self-taught fighting skills, natural flexibility and talent at acrobatics and rigorous training

MARVIN

he was born with green cat eyes, the physical representation of his extremely potent magic. parents were freaked out, and basically hid him away

had no control over his powers as a baby, would wreak havoc around him. think Mob from Mob Psycho 100

the upper side of his face was badly burned when he lost control of his powers as a toddler, so he wears masks to hide the scars. the cat one is just the one he wears most often

“hey, nice mask!” “it’s a prosthetic.” “...oh.” (it’s not that bad really, he’s just really self-conscious about it)

he was homeschooled his whole life and generally wasn’t allowed to go out much, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

his parents are famous fashion designers

they’re super rich and travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was old enough (10 years old)

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

now he’s 24

(and at this point he makes me think of bruce wayne lmao. he needs an alfred)

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and almost never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he’s basically a hermit at this point. and a huge nerd

he tries to use his natural magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

instead he dabbles into wicca and the occult to do stuff

A bookworm, quite serious, dresses like a hipster art school student. he wears SAROUEL PANTS.

glasses!! Big round rimless glasses!! soft!!!!

long brown hair, messy bun, dyes the tips dark green and purple 

disaster gay

“sleep? what’s that? i only know coffee”

has three cats he rescued himself: Spades, Jasper and Poppy

has a huge greenhouse linked to the main building. he likes gardening a lot, whether it’s for his craft, for cooking or just because he likes seeing plants flourish

HOW THEY BOTH MET / IDEAS AND SHIT

Jackie tried to take on a whole ass drug ring and bit more than he could chew at the time so he got beat up pretty bad. He managed to escape with his trusty grappling hook and swung around a bit before crashing through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse while Marv was tending to his plants, in the early morning.

Long story short Marv is in a panic because a complete stranger (also the only human being he’s interacted with in months) just flopped in front of him and is probably dying and he wants to call an ambulance.

jackie: *beaten black and blue and coughing up blood* jackie: oh hey how’s it goin’ marv: *distressed nerd noises* marv: oh my god who the fuck are you but also are you dying in my house im calling an ambulance- jackie: uh yeah no please dont im kinda doing illegal stuff also i cant afford it marv: marv: wh-

also what if marv calls the family’s doctor since jackie won’t go to a hospital, and it’s fucking Schneep henrik: what the fuck did you do this time marv: it wasn’t me! jackie: your family doctor scares me marv: that’s why they hired him

maybe after that jackie keeps coming to see marv and marv is like “ugh you again-” and he always come to marv whenever he gets hurt, to get patched up by schneep. he broke the ceiling two more times basically they become “hey ron hey billy” vine, its just a habit at this point.

Marv is a rich boi that doesn’t know anything about life. at this point i realize he’s like a mix of Elsa and Rapunzel, and Jackie is kinda Flynn xD Jackie just… aggressively becomes Marv’s friend despite the magic man’s reluctance, and shows him the world. love me some smart grumpy nerd/dumb happy jock friendship

jackie: im your friend now marv: wh- jackie: *drags him outside* LETS GO CLIMB A BUILDING TOGETHER-

Marvin but he’s never been in a grocery store in his entire life because he just orders super expensive pre-made meals to his house or cooks his own veggies, and he’s just amazed at the first one they go to

like “wHAT, IT’S A ROW OF FREEZERS! Remind me to install one of these at my place!”

and Jackie, who just came here for bread and milk, looks at him fondly but also is very concerned. Also he doesnt question marv’s masks, he just thinks they look cool

@tabbynerdicat it’s my bois! @lilakennedy because i know you like those two, and your love for them motivated me to develop them first

[hi-i-am-turtle-the-tortoise]

I was tagged by @zarryiscanon to jot down points I like about myself...well, I tweaked it a bit to:

5 Things I love about myself:

1) I have a very strong sense of right vs wrong and stand up for what is right even if that means the whole world, and I mean literally 99% of inhabitants of my social world hate on me for it. I cannot stand injustice, and would fight against it no matter what. Something which probably scares people,but more so definitely makes them uncomfortable, especially if they decide to let things be and go with the flow no matter how unjust it is.

2) I actively stay away from the herd mentality.

I've fallen off the wagon quite a lot of times, but in the end I somehow or the other do end up deciding against going with the herd, as 9/10 times it turns out to be a sure shot recipe for ...well..not failure exactly...but mediocrity. At least my definition of it.

Which brings me to...

3)Living and being comfortable in my own skin. A very recent development, work still in progress, but I'm proud of how its going.

I hold nobody accountable for my decisions in life except for me and me only. Tough job as i often bungle up and twist myself into a mental twister of my own making, but well, it is of my own making and evem though quite unpleasant, I have total control over it. Not a puppet controlled by the strings of societal norms and niceties.

4) well, obviously by now it is quite clear that this is basically an excerpt from the diary of a social Pariah...

So it is quite fitting that point no.4 in this list is my close group of loved ones.

My amazingly imperfect family, a nerdy owl like bestie ...and the love of my life who is literally my moral compass in all situations...i could and would do anything to protect them . I love them to bits, and really am thankful to them for staying around and keeping me sane in insane situations.

Why is this a featurette in this list of "points omI love about myself" you ask....well, that's cuz everything I love about myself stems from my love for them. They ARE my life!

5) despite what all the aggressive and fierce talk above may portray me as...

I am a softie at heart. A beautifully fragile, gentle, and empathetic person whose own empathy comes back to bite me in my butt, very frequently.

And lately, I am trying to be forgiving as well

And no, I'm not saying this to earn any brownie points out here...cuz lets face it... I'm anonymous, and so are you aka.the reader, assuming there is a reader, as for most purposes, I'm jotting this down as a self-love project that I'm on. (Something to give me a popeye-and-his-spinach-like boost during tough times, cuz folks, times are tough and they are getting tougher and tougher)

But yeah...I digress.

I have haters. Many. Please do not underestimate the word "many" when I say it because I legit mean MANY.And tbh, I do not know why...no.. actually I do, its just I feel people lack perspective and are acting out like 5 yesr olds who discovered a broken crayon during an art class they dont even like to attend.

I digress...again.

So yeah, I have haters, I have been at the recieving end of many many hurtful, vile, jealosy filled toxic emotions and experiences.... mistrust, accusation of lying, blah blah...you name it , and I got it girl.

But yeah, in the core of it all, despite, the current atmosphere literally tearing me from within( yeah, im not that ruff n tuff ... surprise surprise),i forgive each and every one of them because I know they are just lashing out. Its human nature. Projection of self insecurities and shortcomings ontu a target, generally the one trending (remember the taylor swift hate days...yups...that)

And I completely understand that. Times are tough. For me as well as them. But if both sides keep fighting, there is going to be no end. They can compulsively crush me socially, but I forgive them for it as I choose to.

No im not all saint like or achieving nirvana or zen or anything. Far from it.

It affects me. Deeply.

I cry myself to sleep each and every night. I am dangerously close to my breaking point and can cave in any moment (even while I type).

But remember point no.1,2 and 3....

I am my own person, and I choose to forgive them as that's the only way I can feel a tiny bit of sanity in this crazy situation. People whom I considered damn close to my heart, I still do, and I would still do anything for, were damn hurtful. Some expectedly, some u expectedly.

Unfortunately, this chaos is bringing out the worst in people.

But I am choosing not to. Every day I wake up to a fresh bout of accusations and hurt, I choose to mentally be kind to them, try to understand their pain as it sure must be 10x worse than mine for them to be so harsh.

I choose to forgive. Not made it to the forget part of the deal, but getting there...

Its one of the hardest projects I've undertaken, but that's where my tiny entourage of loved ones come in. The only support system i can and am blindly falling back upon.

I have fallen, I am falling and i will definitely fall multiple times before I'm gone, but that's how I learnt how to ride a bicycle... a lesson ingrained in me forever.

This was wayyy longer than I meant it to be.

To whoever reaches the end of this post, first of all, congratulations! i commend you on your attention span.

Secondly, consider yourself nominated to carry on the chain.

Go ahead and type your heart and guts out.

If nothing, this will stand as a reminder on your blog on a rainy day, as to why you are the best person you could have ever met. It certainly helped me during one of my mini solo breakdowns.

Love yourself folks... you are all you have, and all you will ever need!

[imadeletingmysocials]

My scores for E3, because apparently now i’m a dumb 4channer who thinks this /v/ meme shit matters, like it’s not gonna affect sales or anything it’s pointless as all hell [this is lenghy, but hear me out ok]

EA: 

4/10 - people will probably play the games regardless of how shitty this presentation was but... It felt pretty insulting. 

Battlefield V is probably gonna make a lot of money regardless cuz people like war games and it seems pretty well done, the more footage they have shown seemed better than their weird advertizement that made world war 2 seem very wacky, which honestly regardless if you’re a sexist neckbeard or not, seemed like a poor advertizement move. 

TinyBuild:

No one watched this lol and it was just 1 GAME and a fun cute musical that made people who aren’t strong enough to musicals die, 6/10 because it made nerds die and their song is catchy, i dont really care about their 1 game.

Microsoft:

 9/10 - I'm giving this much of a high score because I would play practically almost all of these games showcased (they’ll probably be available on PC which I’m biased for cuz I have a gaming PC), no kidding, I pretty much liked everything I saw and it was fairly straight to the point. Many gamers don’t appreciate the finer details of each game and think they’re generic but that’s just fanboys who haven’t played a single game outside of their favorites. 

Also my cousin uses those Xbox One netflix rip offs that gives you games so i’m happy for him. The presentation had a lot of diamonds in the rough games that will I will probably appreciate more over time (they might even become cult classics like Metro or Dying Light) than any of other games at other e3s. As for the stuff I won’t be playing: It’s mostly harmless so eh.

There was an abundance of trailers! It was like one after the other, pure goodness, it seems as if they left out all of the Sports games to EA to present and the only thing they showed that might not be anyone’s cup of tea was “Forza”, but honestly? I appreciate it, it seems like a good racing game even if I’m not one to buy racing games.... But the more you think about the number of good games presented, the less you’ll think about that, I mean they showed DEVIL MAY CRY 5!!! 

...The Funko Pop game made me scream though.

Bethesda: 

8.5/10  I cannot deny that these are games I will want to play regardless if they’re good or not. Sad to see nerds not enjoy the opportunity to meet ANDREW W.K. but I’m glad all of the divisions they own are making sequels to stuff I already like, so pretty much Bethesda played it safe.

Devolver Digital:

 8/10 It’s like that one b-movie film your college students made and you had a laugh with creating.

Square Enix: 

5/10 seriously, 30 minues of just trailers? Most of which we saw?? I guess it could be worse but who uses E3 screentime for mostly MMORPG deals! The new stuff was too vague to be excited about too.

Ubisoft: 

7/10 - I liked it when they made funny quirky things and their games are probably gonna be okay like usual, Ubisoft has dedicated fans that like their collectathon games they release every year, and it’s usually that one game you play when you’re bored and got nothing else, it’s okay. 

Gamers hate fun and dancing and all that stuff but I kind of find stuff like that exciting, while nerds who never went outside and who are sensitive as all hell to any representation of fun find it “cringey”. A panda dabbed, and that settles it, Ubisoft was the only E3 Brave enough to dab this year. 

PC Game Conference (it was fairly long):

I know none of you watch this one cuz y’all fake as hell but listen... Fuck you LOL, these are the type of games people actually play over 400 hours and really get people’s money. Like these are games built to last that might be on the best-selling Steam front page for MONTHS, like how Frostpunk was comfirmed last year during this conference, PC Gaming has been known for sleeper hits that nobody knows about (because the attention goes to cinematic experiences on consoles most of the time) but suddently everyone’s playing it. 

PC gaming has always been an alternative lifestyle and seeing as many people didn’t watch this one, that just proves the point that it still relatively alternative. Maybe it’s because everyone sounds dumb as fuck when saying “PC GAMER MASTER RACE” and acting like an elitist. 

The PC Gaming conference is always more of a talk show than a regular E3 which is why I respect it every year, fuck the hyperactive gamers that just wanna see flashy trailers, this one’s more SOPHISTICATED!! It feels a lot more human and less artificial. Either way, lot’s of what you might’ve expected: Simulators and Survival games you’ll probably spend 3 years playing until they make a better minecraft clone. 

Gamers like to act as if they’re tired of Battle Royale (already? It’s a new fad it still is here to stay for a little more) but the numbers and success of it doesn’t lie that it isn’t a fad that proves itself to be highly tempting to try out for developers. Go cry to valve that they didn’t release Half-Life 3 cuz you haven’t played any other FPS game without even researching that Valve pretty much fired all of it’s developers and you’re just being annoying.

I feel as if I need to comment what I saw at this e3 cuz nobody watched, they made a mod I liked from skyrim into a fully-ass game, they’re rebooting Star Control which not a single gamer today knows of, the HP Lovecraft open world detective game also seems very good. YAKUZA IS COMING TO PC!!!!!!!!! Killing Floor 2 stuff, Road Redemption stuff, SHARK RPG, cute indie games, Jeff Goldblum was there, Wall-E with a gun in VR which seems to have promissing good vr design by Insomiac games (yes the spyro people), 2 games about Taxi driving... Like sure I think it’s a good format for story telling but.

A cell-shaded art game, star citizen is still being made, and it’s gone to the point nobody really wants it anymore even if it’s... Still being made you know? So most guys are wrong that it was gonna be canceled. After that was the technical graphic card stuff which gamers don’t have enough capability to understand, stuff like 9k laptops that SELL a lot mind you. Rich people love that technical stuff. 

A space defense sim game, Don’t Starve Sequel, Just Cause 4 detailed explanation of the engine, Overkill’s The Walking Dead gameplay which has been in development hell for years now now has a release date, I discovered Clementine’s voice actor is white... Go figure, a literal pixelated roguelike (not what you think it is, it’s Noita), 

Theme Hospital REBOOT!!!! YES!!!!!!!!! And the doctors were cute. Probably one of the funniest games presented... Followed by REALM ROYALE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That harvest moon clone with a cute art style is still being made: Ooblets, no release date sadly. Anno is still going, cyanide and happiness still exists? and they’re making a battle royale? lol okay. How was Hitman 2 not announced during Square Enix?? Anyways it’s here at the end, the trailer was amazing and it’s coming out this year. 

I don’t have that much strong feelings because it’s just a normal conference and not a special one you know? But I’ll give it a 8/10 or 7/10 im not sure cuz I seem to like most games and I found Frankie cute.

Sony: 

Yo usually Sony makes like a huuuuuuuge thing about their conferences (like this year they didn’t even showcase indie games) but this year they started from a church for the sake of immersion?? It reminded me a little of their first E3s during the 90s, and it almost felt like a indie gathering for musicians, I swear to god, Sony is borderline experimental trying to balance out their E3 across stages. Jeb played the banjo and people just ACCEPTED it... AND THEN someone played some JAPANESE FLUTE? aRT. It might come off as a bit arrogant for some tho.

Nerds hated it and thought it was bizzare, which is why it means it’s good. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BITCHES. Anyways could have been a little more fast-paced... But then again when it was fast-paced it was just like: Huh? What was that? I’m a big Resident Evil Fangirl, RE2 was my childhood but ignoring that for a sec: finally, Death Stranding gameplay, remins me of shadow of the colossus but post-apocalpytic, survival horrorish and abstract sci-fi.

 Kind of feels more Metal Gear than MGSV did already Cuz Norman Reedus sounds like snake a lot more than the 24 hours guy, and because from what I’ve seen in the footage, someone acts like Otacon to “Sam”. I think most now can figure out the plotpoints of this game with what has been established. I might be a bit sad at the fact that this will be a PS4 exclusive just like Metal Gear Solid 4, which I still haven’t played fully because it’s PS3 exclusive and I only have a gaming PC. 

Also this E3 was surprisingly entirely SINGLE PLAYER, I sorta don’t believe in the “single player doesn’t exist” myth honestly, especially now. I’m not sure if that makes Sony’s E3 better or worse, maybe it needed more variation, like I’ve commented, usually they have an indie showcase which this year did not. There were few games shown but for what it was worth, it’s still interesting... But yeah just 5 games? No Spyro? (easy picking), nothing extra? I can understand why many people felt this E3 was upsetting.

8/10.

Nintendo

Here it is, the most overhyped developer of all of E3, the source of “Nintendo wins E3 by doing nothing” memes because Nintendo fans really don’t care about anything except Nintendo and then act surprised when they only care about Nintendo when they try to be a little more open-minded (and fail) even if other E3s probably make more games built to last in comparisson, cuz we gay people only care about NINTENDO YOU KNOW? Shade asside... 

I was pleasantly surprised this E3, it wasn’t just a series of okay at best releases, a strong 9/10. 

tHAT WAS WHAT I WROTE IN PREPRATION....

BUT THEN???? IT WAS JUST THAT??? NO PRIME 4 NO ANYTHING LIKE JUST 3 GAMES BASICALLY? (maybe there was 5 games but eh) I mean smash is good.. It’s pretty much just an update of the last smash, every character is REALLY FUCKING GOOD BUT.... JUST THAT? jeez.. Like, the only stuff I wanted from it was Mario Party and Smash... Okay maybe that 1 Mecha game. Also I guess fornite is now on Switch but I can play that anywhere else really.

I guess a 7/10 is all I can give to just Smash, if there was a little more I’d give it a 9/10 for sure but... ehh Just Smash? jeez, fuck... i MEAN I kind of get it, Nintendo doesn’t do “e3″ normally, they usually do 1 big game at E3 and then wait a couple of months to do that little seasonal announcement thing they do across the year, ugh.. Okay. Yeah I guess i shouldn’t have expected much. Still isn’t it weird that Miyamoto was in Ubisoft’s E3 but not this one??? what!

Anyways

[lpfreakification]

4, 12, 15, 23, 31

(Answering this all on my phone)

4. What am i looking forward to? Answer: more than a few things. 1. My room being painted, clean, and reorganized. 2. Dan and Phil’s Interactive Introverts tour in July :) 3. Getting my hands on a physical copy of Post Traumatic (i have not listened to it at all) and my college diploma (they said they’ll mail it soon). 4. Wreck-It Ralph 2 5. Catching up on Miraculous Ladybug 6. The Mexico vs Germany soccer game that’ll start soon.

12. What’s something i want rn? Answer: Physically - losing some weight, a PS4 after July or around Christmas, weather to improve, get better at animation and copics. Mentally - to find peace thru meditation (need to get back into the habit), stop saying “sorry for the wait” and say “thank you for waiting”, stop holding back on what i really want to say/expressing an opinion and wanting to talk to guys my age so badly (terrified of that but i need to)

15. Personality description - Answer: this should be interesting cuz i’ve been getting to know myself more. I say that i’m very animated, determined, and overdramatic sometimes. i tend to ask a bunch of questions because i feel im very uneducated or ignorant on most subjects. I like learning (without the pressure of grades and deadlines). Too bad i dont feel like i’m the smartest person that people expected me to be. (Most people look for smart, funny, and pretty. I only have the “funny” quality so far). My social skills have greatly improved from my job. I want to be like those super-kind supporting (anime) characters or npcs. I don’t like getting involved in drama. I stay out of that pit and watch it from afar. I either ignore it, let someone else take care of it, or let it die down/take care of it on their own. I’m somewhat open to new things but i can be picky. I like to be eased into a situation rather than being pushed into the deep end of the pool. Most of the time, i let things happen just to take in the moment. If it is something i’m interested in, then i’ll try my best to participate. Downside is that i get tired easily (both physically and mentally). That’s where my Introvert senses come in.

23. Fears - Answer: the feeling that i’m not good enough. Myself as a good person i want to try to be and my art skills. I am afraid of letting myself down so hard that can affect the people around me (example: the 2nd hospitalization with suicide ideation). I want to feel like i’m the number one fan of myself and feel like i’m my own idol. If i let myself down, then i’m letting that “self fan” down :( i want to acheive Amethyst’s self confidence in life. Now in art, rn i feel like i’m at my limit and can’t improve. Ive discussed this b4 in my “Starving Artist Tag” on my youtube channel (same name). It also reminds me of this one comic here on Tumblr where the artist grows and improves to a point and in the end, she goes outside the box where possibilities are endless. I want to get out of that rut where my style can dramatically change once again. Rn, i’m still in my comfort zone :( maybe fear number 3 is that.

31. Three random facts - Answer: Random Fact #1 - i cross my eyes or squint when i doodle. Random Fact #2 - i feel super guilty for liking and saying that my favorite Disney movie is Pocahontas because of the historical inaccuracies and the fact this is basically Romeo and Juliet. this is the Disney movie i watched the most in my childhood. Random Fact #3 - I tend to make faces when i think to myself and having some thoughts. It’s like being JD from Scurbs.

That’s all i got. This was actually quite fun to answer :) thank you for the ask @castleofass

[noxiim]

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

[noxrynne]

i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.

[hanasaku-shijin]

So Neon and I were talking about Diana and Akko in Years Later AU on chat and people were asking to see what we were discussing so here have fun:

This would be after Akko has been gone for a long time in this AU and is in disguise now, working right under Diana’s nose at Luna Nova as a professor, but Diana doesn’t know it’s her yet. 

Me (after Neon showed me some of their Dianakko art that they decided not to post): w HAT BUT WHY HOLY SHIT IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE FOREHEAD TOUCHES AND NOSE NUZZLES thEY'RE SO HAPPY

Neon: FJCSHN AND THEY'RE JUST SITTING ON THE FLOOR CAUSE DIANA JUST GOT SO WEAK KNEED SUDDENLY SHE WAS JUST SHOOK THAT AKKO IS RIGHT THERE 

Me: G O D DIANA SHOWING WEAKNESS IS LITERALLY- MY GOD AFTER ALL HER LIFE OF PUTTING UP A FRONT AND BEING PROFESSIONAL AND STUFF FOR HER TO BREAK DOWN AND AKKO TO BE THERE TO CATCH HER IN HER ARMS AND HOLD HER AND TELL HER IT'S OKAY LIKE "It's okay if you're weak sometimes, I'll help you be strong!" FUUUUUUUCK

Neon: YEAH AKKO STARTS TO CRY TOO

Me: Diana's like "You.... if you start to cry.. th-then I-" "Diana you were already crying like 3 minutes ago"

Neon: SHE JUST DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE IT SHE'S SO FULL OF EMOTION AKKO ACTUALLY FEELS A LIL BAD LIKE SHE SHOULD'VE DONE THIS SOONER SHE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT DIANA WAS HURTING THAT BAD TO HAVE THIS BAD OF A BREAKDOWN

Me: GOD ;W; bet she'll mention it like "I'm sorry.. i shouldn't have waited so long.. I'm sorry you were hurting so bad..." But Diana's just like "I am just glad.. you came back at all...."Akko just eases back for a second to look into her eyes, trying to blink away her tears so she can see Diana properly. They wipe each other's tears, then kiss for as long as they can while still crying into each other's lips.

Neon: FuCK M E I just

Me: Akko pulls back and then tucks her head under Diana's chin (how they often used to hold each other). Akko hugs her around the waist/back and Diana hugs her shoulders and caresses her hair. Akko closes her eyes and sighs and listens to Diana's heart cuz god she's missed that sound. And she just murmurs/sobs "I've missed you so much... as much as you've missed me I guess."

Neon: AND LIKE AKKO WAS IN HIDING FOR 3 MONTHS SHE HAD TO KEEP HERSELF A SECRET SHE WAS RIGHT THERE WITH DIANA BUT SHE JUST UP AND DO IT

Me: Eventually Akko starts really thinking about how bad it was for Diana. She realizes how hurt she's been all this time, thinking Akko might've been DEAD. So she just sobs and sobs for longer than Diana was. Diana asks her what's wrong and she just says "I... I was just... I was so scared... you might get hurt worse than this... Are you okay...?"

Neon: YEAH FUKC You've murdered me again

Me: And Diana needs to stop and catch her breath and pushes Akko back a little bit until she can see her eyes and finally tells her "I am now.” All the pain and loneliness and fear she's suffered through have been worth it for her. That night they just lie there together, holding each other, Akko lying on top of Diana listening to her heart again. Diana has one hand on Akko's back stroking her hair. Akko interlocks her right fingers with Diana's left and their rings just glow all nightt

Neon: Fuck MY LIFE OOH MY GOD

Me: And they just... soft kisses on cheeks and foreheads and noses and temples and lips and eyelids, wiping tears and kissing tears away, reminding each other /this is real it's not a dream/ telling each other "it's okay, i'm here." AND

Neon: YOU JUST WRITE THIS IS SO MUCH DETAIL AND I'M LIKE FUCKING DYING

Me: When they finally fall asleep Diana has a nightmare again that Akko is dead/gone forever and wakes up sobbing and Akko is there this time THIS TIME SHE IS THERE and she calms her down and kisses her and reminds her it's all right I'm here it's okay Diana I promise I'm here and I'm never leaving you again I love you.(iM SORRY AS A WRITER THIS IS MY GIFT AND MY CURSE)

Neon: FUCKKKKKKKKK

Me: but just imagine

Neon: OH I'M IMAGINING

Me: the next morning, Diana wakes up startled still thinking she's alone but then she feels this unmistakable warmth and looks down to find Akko sprawled out on top of her snoring and drooling a little and Diana just gets overwhelmed  and cries again and Akko wakes up like "Waaah D-Diana, what's wrong it's okay!" but Diana's smiling this time and hugs her close and murmurs "I know... thank you, Akko. Thank you for.. coming home..."And Akko starts crying again too like "O-Of course I'll always come home. I'll always come back to you." and then eventually they decide to get out of bed and make each other breakfast for the first time in like 3 years lkAJSHDFKASDFJK

Neon: OH MY GOD

Me: okay i think im done with this... for now wAIT

Neon: AND THEN AKKO HAS TO GO BACK TO HER DISGUISE

Me: Diana cooking pancakes (akko's fav probably) and Akko just coming up behind her and hugging her around the stomach and nuzzling into the side of her neck DOMESTIC SHIT.. Ohhh when Akko goes back to her disguise maybe Diana's like "have you really been going around looking like this?" and straightens out her collar/hair/anything she can like come on akko at least try to look halfway presentable in public and Akko's like "dianaaaaaaa" and Diana cracks the joke like “either you’ve gotten more skilled with your magics after all this time or Luna Nova really is desperate if I ended up hiring you as a teacher” “Dianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 20} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^ 

Anonymous said: About to go to sleep now! Can't wait to wake up tmr to your beautiful writing <3

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it when you get a chance to read it :D

@hemhings said: Oh my goodness it's Tuesday today! I'm super excited for this update! Thank you for writing I Won't Stop You💕💕💕💕

Yay I’m happy that you’re super excited! I hope you enjoyed it if you read it :D

@kookies-hoe said: OMG I JUST REALISED IT IS IWSY DAYYYY!!! I can't wait 😫😫😫💕

YAY! I hope you liked it my dear :D

@clara-licht said: In my timezone you always post IWSY on Wednesday mornings, and by mornings I mean like 4 or 5 AM. I usually wake up early on Wednesday just to read it 😂

Ahhh damn timezones, I’m really sorry about that! I feel bad that you’re waking up so early to read it :( But it means so much to me that you’re enjoying it and want to read it when I post it ^^ Thank you so much dear! I hope you manage to get back to sleep afterwords!

Anonymous said: It's still a mystery to me how you actually could make me anticipate Tuesdays

I don’t know how I do that either but I’m so happy that I can do that for you^^ *hug*

Anonymous said: It's 7:21am where I am right now and I have to get ready for school in 10 min so I woke up and was like 'fuck iwsy doesn't come out for another *checks world clock* hOUR!!' Now I have to wait till after school to finish it 😭😭 fuck you time distance -Tall anon

Hey tall anon! Ahhh that’s okay though because it’s still gonna be here when you get out of school! I hope you enjoy it when you read it and then you can relax after school :D hehe

Anonymous said: I live for you Jungkook fanfic, it's not even a fanfic, it's art, bless

Wow okay I’m blushin’~~~ you’re too sweet to me, honestly. Thank you so much..

@jynxy24 said: DID YOU SEE ABOUT JUNGKOOK RELEASING HIS FULL COVER OF WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE I'M SO HAPPY EVENTHOUGH THIS IS LATE LMAO  Charlie Puth even tweeted about it!! I cried, ARMYs really do a lot for BTS oml I'm so proud!! (Even if Charlie mispelled 'Jungkook' for 'Jungcook', atleast he acknowledged our golden maknae!!!) BCZ OF THIS, I was just reminded of you cuz' you wrote the best Jungkook series I've read so far! CHAPTER 20 IS COMING TOMORROW AHHHHHHHHHHH   Stay AWESOME as ALWAYS, Sara. Love ya!!

Yes I did! He sounds so beautiful, I love Jungkook’s whisper tone voice when he sings, it’s very emotional and sincere and I can really feel the emotion in his voice when he sings. And his pronunciation is perfect! And Jungcook LOL I saw all the memes of ‘Jungcook’ and it made me laugh so much (’: I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love! Thank you so much!!

@adoppelna14 said: Omg I thought my tumblr is betraying me cause there isn't the 20th chapter for I won't stop you yet but then I remembered that you wrote you gonna post it between 9 - 10pm and Germany is one hour later than the uk😂😭😭😭😭 ots already past 10 pm. I need to know what happens next though😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤

Ahh yes timezones can be so confusing! But yes! I update usually at 9.30pm UK time on the dot, but I always say between 9-10pm just in case some week I am unable to update at exactly 9.30pm haha :D I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love!!

@kpoperinthehoody123  said: Can't wait for vampire jungkook to come out @#%*£*+(%-££*''-;%;; Aiishhh I love your blog

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed it if you read it :D

Anonymous said: Wow. You are amazing. Your fanfic I won't stop you is the first that i read on tumblr, and the first that i loved. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you *bowing*. Stay hardworking but take rest too. Thank you again.

I’m not amazing, but I am so happy that you are enjoying the series ^^ Thank you so much for reading it and messaging me to tell me that you like it! *hugs*

@jungkookbangtaned said: Hey! I'm waiting for the update and I'm sooo eager to know what happens next!! Like I'm so curious!! One question: do we have to expect Y/N to get angry at Jungkook when she discovers he's a vampire? I love you and your story, you're amazing!  Kisses

There’s no point in asking me questions like that my love, I won’t ever answer questions that will spoil the story so I’m afraid you will just have to wait! :D I love you too and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter if you got a chance to read it :D

Anonymous said: I hate you. You get me all excited with an update and there's so much comfort it makes my heart melt, even when you consider the circumstances. But then you end the update before any sort of explanation is given and I'm left without closure, impatiently waiting for next week because you have me crawling back for more every time. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Aw I’m sorry you hate me, because I love you very much c: But! In saying that, there was (as always) more  lore that is important to the story in this chapter. Also, more background information on Jimin and Taehyung~ But I am glad that you will be back next week to read more! Thank you so much for reading it my dear, it means a lot to me ^^

@animeimmortal said: GAAAAAAHHH YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I WANT TO SAY BUT OTHER THAN THAT I EFFIN LOVE THIS STORY AND JESUS YOUR WRITING IS FABULOUS HONEY THOSE CLIFFHANGERS WILL KILL ME ONE DAY ❤ ily ❤  ^^

*winks* ^^ Thank you so much for reading it and I love you too!! *hugs*

@mocking-butts said: I'm literally screaming at this chapter I need it to be next week oh my god~! Like I hope she stays I don't know what to do with Yoongi I'm oh lord and namjoon ahh!

Only 6 more days to go! c: hehe~ Thank you for reading the chapter sweets!!

Anonymous said: are you going to post i won't stop u pt. 20 today ?

I posted it last night, as always - 9.30pm UK time on the dot, as I have done so every week ^^

@kookies-hoe said: AGHHHHHHHH!!! Cliffhanger 😭 I WANT TO SEE THE REACTIONNNNN 😭 Can't wait for next week! Also, really Tae, pussy 😂 and Jimin is sooo cute I can't 😭😂💕 love your writing, have a good night!

Taehyung and his little pussy c: heh~ Thank you so much my love and I hope you have a wonderful day!

@adoppelna14 said: NOOOOO!!!! THAT'S SUCH A PAINFUL CLIFFHANGER!!!😭😭😭 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Because, that’s the way the story goes! ^^ Thank you so much for reading it! :D

Anonymous said: Omg the things you do to my heart!! I'm probs gonna die before it gets to next Tuesday 😂❤️ plz keep writing, your work is beautiful xx

Please don’t die! I’d be very upset if you did that :( And of course I will keep writing! Thank you so much for reading the new chapter :D

Anonymous said: I JUST READ THE LATEST CHAPTER OF IWSY AND IM SOOOOO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK

YAY I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT and I hope you will like the next chapter too c: Thank you so much!

@audreymv said: This is about to get intense. Like Mom is about to reveal alot of things and Jungkook might just lose her. I hope everything goes good. SUCH SUSPENSION MATE. I AM NOT READY. As usual. How long do you think this story is going to be, Sara?? Really loving it

I think the next chapter will be a chapter that everyone will have to read carefully and closely as there will be a lot of information - and that’s all I can really say on it :P I get asked a lot how many chapters IWSY will be or how long it will be and I just don’t know! There is still a lot to happen, so it won’t be ending any time soon. If I had to guess...maybe 6-7 more chapters? But I honestly don’t know. I have NO idea lolol You guys will know as soon as I do! Thank you so much for reading it dear, I hope you’re having an awesome day!

@ohheyitsebonyrose said: SARAAAAA OMGGGG I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR IWSY. It's captured me so much and has hit me in the feels. You're an amazing writer!

Only 6 more days to go! I’m glad it has hit you in the feels ;D hehe, thank you so much!

Anonymous said: holy crap i almost forgot why tuesdays are so special and i'm very happy now, thank you

That makes me incredibly happy to hear, thank you so much for saying that :)

Anonymous said: You know what. I'm not gonna read this story anymore until it's fully finished (I'm lying). My heart can't take all these damn cliffhangers😭 and then having to wait a whole week. I'm crying. Pls why do you wish to hurt me so?

If you wish to not read the story until it is finished then that is completely fine and it’s your choice to make! Cliffhangers are an essential part to writing weekly for me. It’s my technique I guess, and it always has been. ^^ Thank you so much for reading it thus far and I really appreciate it!!

Anonymous said: I have this feeling I'm gonna be terrified to learn Jungkook is a vampire but the naive part of me hopes that everything will be fine. ALSO CAN'T WAIT FOR SERRENA TO EXPLAIN WHY I AM VAMPIRE CATNIP! VAMPNIP!!

Vampire catnip...oh my god I love you so much? AHHHH xD That’s amazing lolol! Thank you so much for reading it and making me smile with Vampnip hehe :D

@doubletroublesince1994 said: You know, I always read vertically, but when it comes to you, I can't help but read every single word, trying to enjoy the moment while it still lasts :')) Seriously man you're the only one who ever made me do that (apart from Freud's 5 lessons lol)

I think it’s important to really read what I write sometimes tho because you might miss important lore or information that is essential to the story! I get some questions sometimes and I think to myself like “did this person even read the chapter?” cos I clearly explained it during the chapter haha xD But I’m glad it can hold your attention like that! Thank you so much for reading it because it means so much to me :D

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: sARA YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL AF I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE AND I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE ENJOYING IT! *hugs*

@mysr3 said: Saraa my heart break at the end TT JK character developed so much and Y/N is his everything. Y/N character also developed strong yet fragile. OMG I could feel the pain he was in when he begged for her love to remain the same no matter what happened. Also the parts where Jimin hugged her and his concern thought is touching. The pain in Taehyung thought where he afraid Y/N will hate him is so sad. Aww sweet Mugsy and little Jimin Taehyung moment is sweet. Well written, Thank you Sara ❤❤❤

I’m really happy that you’ve loved the character developments throughout, I really wanted to create a story with real depth and I’m glad it can be seen! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this chapter cutie! It means a lot to me ^^ I hope you have a great day!

Anonymous said: SARA. AGAIN????? YOURE PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT Y/N IS ALREADY OMG 😂 nah nah but in all seriousness, great work as always~ this should seriously be made into a book. Or a movie. Hot damn. Idk how you can write so well T.T I'm so jelly!  - 7:45 Anon

What?! c: Did you expect him to just bring her home and be like ‘yo bitch I’m a vampire and my cousin slaughtered your parents’ ? hehe xD Thank you very much for liking the chapter, and I hope you’ll enjoy the next one too. And I’m sorry for the frustration it’s causing you but...that’s just the way the cookie crumbles! (or Kookie, whatever you wish :P)

Anonymous said: OH MAI GAWD!!!! The FEELS in IWSY part 2!!! (y/n) don't leave Jungkook! omo Sara you're such a good writer I can't even anymore! I'm both scared and excited for the next part because I think I might know what happens but at the same time, I hope what i think will happen won't happen. Just wondering, have you heard Jungkook's full cover of 'We don't talk anymore'? Anyways ily and you're one of my favorite writers!

Yay for giving you all the emotions and feels c: eheh thank you so much for reading it my love! And YES I DID! His voice is so beautiful and he did such an amazing job, I’m sure all ARMY is so proud of him for doing so well ^^ I love you too and thank you so much for thinking that about me :) It really makes me smile more than words can describe!

@ineffabl-y said: AAAAHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WELL FOR THIS PERFECT, GODFORSAKEN STORY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S SO GOOD ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’ll take that as a compliment ;D hehe, thank you so much for reading it this week!! ^^

@jynxy24 said: I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED WHEN IWSY CAME OMG SHIT JIMIN AND TAEHYUNG'S WORDS AT THE END THOUGH WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL WITH THEM WORDS AAAAARRGHHH   Okay, rants over lmaooo The chapter was great, Sara!! You did another amaaaaazing job at blowing me away :3 As always, stay awesome and wonderful at writing. Love ya, Sara!!

*BLUSHES* you’re always too kind and wonderful to me Jynxy ^^ Thank you so much for your words that never fail to make me smile! I hope you’re having an awesome day and taking care of yourself c: I love you too!!

Anonymous said: LIKE WHY CANT EVERYDAY BE TUESDAY? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. GAHHHHHHHHHH IM SO ANXIOUS!! Mom I'm not okay with your sorcery. Like what if Y/N leaves bae?? What if Yoongi snatches Y/N by her edges? WHY IS THIS VMIN FEELS PUNCHING ME IN NY THROAT WITH THE FULFFY GOODNESS. This story gives me heart palpitations cuz it just shakes me up.  I'm so confused BUT Love will prevail and min motha freakin yoongi better back off Jungkookies girl or I'm coming to throw hands. I love you 💜~ LilKookie Anon

I wish I could make every day Tuesday for you!! Do you really think she’ll leave Kookie?! WILL YOONGI KIDNAP HER?! hmmm so many questions but mean author will not answer them! :3 heheh~~ Thank you for reading the story and enjoying it, it makes me so happy! I love you too my lilkookie anon c: I hope your day is going great!

@coppertopging said: You are killing me with these cliffhangers, Sara. Killing... me... slowly... *clutches chest dramatically*

Don’t lie, you’re secretly a masochist and you love pain. Am I wrong? *wink* Hope you’re having a wonderful day beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: Istg every single time a chapter ends I'll have a little rage quit (your cliffhangers kill me) and my parents are like 'wtf is wrong with this child?' But iTS WORTH IT. Chapter 20 was... absolutely amazing. You have such a talent for writing and I hope to write at your level one day. -Tall anon

LMAO ‘wtf is wrong with this child’ your parents are gonna throw hands at me if you don’t stop that xD lolol thank you so much! And I’m sure you write beautifully, so please don’t ever doubt yourself or anything like that! I still have so many things I need to improve on, so I’m not on any level or the likes haha ^^ Thank you so much Tall anon! Have a great day!

@wonderful39530 said: Y are you doing this to me? Everytime you put out the new chapter of I Won't Stop You I'm thinking this would be the chapter that she would at least give me a hint as to what makes her so special, then it gets snatched!! Uhh I feel like Jackson everytime they play what he considers cringe worthy. Y must u torture me so good like this?!! Stop it, no keep going, no stop, no keep going...ahhhh!!!!!!! So same time next week?! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’re just going to have to learn how to be patient my dearrrrrr! c: I think you secretly enjoy the pain. If I just gave you everything in one go, it wouldn’t be any fun now, would it? ;D hehe~ YES SAME TIME NEXT WEEK AS ALWAYS OF COURSE C: Thank you for reading it my love :)

Anonymous said: I lovee youuuuuuuuu💞💞💞 you're a great authorrrr😍 Love your JK fanfic thoooo (i wont stop u) u hve never dissapoint me in every chapter 😭 Waiting for a week is like waiting a month ☹️👉🏻👈🏻 Work hard author-nim !! Love from Malaysia 🤞🏻<my hearteu

I love you too! I’m so happy that you love the series and thank you for reading it :D Yay for never disappointing you c: That makes me feel really really happy :D Only 6 more days to wait so it’s not so bad eh? ^^ and wow hello anon from Malaysia! I’m always so curious as to where the people who read my fanfic are from c: Have a great day!

@deboracorrea25 said: OMG!! Do you want to kill me from curiosity? I dying to know what she is and what will be her reaction. You're such an amazing writer, and I'm so anxious. Hope that this week passes very fast. Thank you for writing this marvelous story.

Well, my intention was never to kill anyone. Maybe just seriously injure? c: huehue^^ Gah, thank you so much for saying such sweet and lovely things to me.You’ve no idea how much you made me smile :) You’re welcome and thank YOU for reading it every week my love.

@noceurash said: I forgot yesterday was Tuesday so when I looked and saw the next part of I won't stop you I was so excited omg. Your chapters just keep getting more interesting omg. Ily!!! <3

Thank you so much for seeing it and remembering it was Tuesday! ehe~ I’m glad that it keeps getting more interesting for you and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying what I post ^^ I love you too and I hope you have an awesome day!

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARAAAAAA!!!! I WANNA KNOW HER REACTIONS!!!

Then...I guess...you’ll have to...wait...for next week. *winks* muhaha~ *hides*

@theninjachan said: I personally think that at this point of the story, the reader is already smart enough to think critically and objectively about the problem that's ahead of her and Jungkook's family. I really do hope they stay together. I think it's natural for her to feel betrayed but I think she's going to think past that. Love really is the strongest force out there huh. Great job on Chapter 20! Your chapters come out 5AM in the morning in my timezone! I don't really mind though.

Words cannot describe how much I smiled when I read your message. Thank you for thinking like this, and that’s all I’ll say :) And yes! People have this mentality that hate is so powerful - and it is, of course. But love is MORE powerful in my opinion. And we all need a lil bit more love in our world I think ^^ Oh my god, 5am x.x I’m sorry that I comes out so early in the morning for you, I wish timezones didn’t exist agh! Thank you so much for reading it, and thank you so much for sending me this message. Have a wonderful day beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: Can your jungkook fan fic end up with a hapoy ending because I hate sad and unhappy endings pls I really love this fan fic I don't want it to go to waste

I’m sure you didn’t mean for your comment to sound harsh or rude, but by you saying that if it were to have a sad ending that my entire series would ‘go to waste’ is a little bit of an insult. I won’t be mentioning whether it will have a happy or sad ending; as I have said many, many, many times before, I never give spoilers or the likes. However, I appreciate that you like the series and that you are enjoying it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying so. I hope you have a wonderful day.

[ame-saku]

Hakuouki Tag Game

[Poll made by shenanigumi]

Tagged by @hades-no-daifuku and @msbeastlyeevee thank you sooooo much sure is taking some time doing this but hey, it’s better to post then not to.

How and when you got into this glorious fandom:

I’ve known this fandom since the game released on PSP which is, around 2012, I believe. I don’t remember tbh. But if i remember correctly, as I check on my load, it looked like I save the game since around 2012 so yeah... Though I’m not a bookworm or into otome back then though I actually play it cuz a certain samurai reminds me of someone in Bleaaaargh. *cough* Niisama *cough* However, I return back to play Hakuouki as I grown a little older and decided to play several routes. Aaaaaaaaand I’m stuck in this fandom because of Kazama’s sudden kiss in CGI WAS SUPPOSE TO CHOOSE THE NORMAL ENDING FIRST. DAMN I MISUNDERSTOOD HOW GUIDE SHOW ME

Favourite character in terms of development:

I’m not really good at seeing the character’s development. But…definitely Souji. As I replay his route, I’ve noticed that Souji was very cold toward Chizuru in ‘common route’ especially when she was worried about him when he was coughing in blood. The colder he was, the more I find myself to dislike his cold attitude toward Chizuru. However, it didn’t last long as Souji eventually opened on her little by little, which I finds myself to love him back.

A character you’d get along with irl:

Hmm… I don’t know maybe Souji? Although Saitou is more suitable to me as I enjoy staying a peaceful atmosphere like him, but it may turned awkward eventually, so Souji is the best person to get along. I enjoyed getting teased lightly, not in sarcastically or heavily however as they can snap me quickly. The more they teased me or making me feels comfortable, the more I slowly opened up with them. I can be hardly open up to those who don’t give me a light joke or talk to me a lot.

 A character you are most like:

Mostly Saitou as I’m a very quiet and introvert person, doesn’t shows any expression a lot even if people try to surprise me. I also enjoy someplace quiet where there isn’t a lot of people. There are times I also had a social anxiety. But from my friends’ perspective, I’m more as Hijikata since I often being tsundere all the time like, ‘I hate everyone, I want them all to stay away from me’ although what I meant was, ‘I’m a terrible person, I wasn’t meant to be with them’.

Least favourite character:

I like all characters, including Kaoru, and Serizawa. …Maybe except Hijikata and Niimi however. But I have a complicated feelings about Hijikata. It’s not hate him but at the same time, it’s also not favourite as well. He’s just… between them, but far away from favourite list, I guess?

Of course everyone hate Niimi, who wouldn’t? He’s nuisance and can be annoying in Reimeiroku that brings my blood boil just looking at him appeared in Reimeiroku. Well... it’s good thing that he’s finally dead.

Personal favourite husband:

IT’S FUCKIN KAZAMA CHIKAGE OFC!!!!!! CANT YOU SEE WHO’S ICON IMMA USING?!!!! I DON’T FREAKIN CARE OF WHAT HE’S DONE IN EVERY ROUTE(except his own) IT’S JUST SHOWS HIM HE HAS MANY PERSONALITIES TOWARD THE MAIN SAMURAI ROUTE(except Harada as he doesn’t appear in Harada route, except in bad ending, only approaches Chizuru alone, not along with Harada pfffft)

 Favourite route:

Ofc, it would be none other than Kazama~ True there isn’t enough development between them before Shinkai coming. Everyone in the Shinsengumi died and bla bla bla. I can’t helped it but I suddenly love his sudden kiss on his CG truly. I wasn’t really expected to see this ending before. I was expected they’re just become friends and finally respected to each other or something. IM FREAKIN LAZY TO FIND KAZAMA WITH PURPLE WESTERN CG ALRIGHT

Souji route is also one of the second best route. . It’s nice to see Kodou as a good guy in Souji’s route(tho i can’t love him in Hijikata route despite he’d protected Chizuru from rasetsus. But somehow his words in Hiji’s doesn’t makes him a good guy or something) Other than that, another reason that I love Souji’s route is his quotes was so beautiful that I can’t stop playing his route;

“If you agreed to go live with him there, that'd make you a monster. Killing people to try and hide your own pain? That sounds like a fury to me.

And what you really want is to be yourself again. Not a fury.

Or do you want to give up because you're a monster, and just spend the rest of your life hiding from the world?

You're Chizuru. You're not a monster.

If you give up on life, then I'll take it from you before you forget who you were.

If you don't want to die, you've gotta give up in giving up.

You need somebody who's gonna be strong for you, and I'm way too stubborn to even throw in the towel, so..”

I can’t expressed myself in words how much I love his quotes is. But all I can say is, it’s a very heartwarming one. I’ve always thought myself that when the time has come I would eventually hiding myself away where no one can find me.  Neither they know of my death. But Souji’s words, however, kinda changed me little by little.

As for Saitou’s route, the more I play it for a few times, the more I enjoy seeing KazamahadacrazythingforSaitouI mean Kazama’s evil side. I’m okay with whatever role Kazama’s taking as. Evil, terrible, bad, anti-hero-ish. Once the character is in my trash list, I can’t bring myself to hate or dislike it.

If it’s included Urakata though, definitely Aritomo. I may not know what’s going on with his route, possible something to do with another war or something(so glad it doesn’t has to do with Ochimizu and all). There are times Aritomo was quite strict and stern(ah wait, I recognized this character before. Who could that be?), and there’s also times Aritomo shows his cute and stundere moment.

 Who you’d wish had a route:

Well since Yamazaki and Sannan got route, I FREAKIN WANT AMAGIRI TO HAVE A ROUTE AS WELL!!!!! Honestly tho, cant we all dating other Onis beside Kazama orz. (actually tbh, choosing of all Onis route, I would definitely choose Amagiri trololol) Ah yes, just seeing Sakamoto has a route, it’s a little unfair how Nakaoka didn’t got a route as well

I mean, I like how he can be a dork, but at the same time

A freakin badass.

Just imagined how Nakaoka acted clumsier than Chizuru’s, but when an enemy tried to attack her, he would become her shining knight armor. 

Daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn

Least favourite route:

One of the worstnot-so-the-best route would be none other than Heisuke route. Just as Eevee-senpai’s stated, there’s so many confusing in there and I definitely not into childish, precious and cinnamon roll samurai. 

Even I’m not a fan of Yoosung in MM

I have more reasons why I hate Heisuke route but it be best to keep it away.

Favourite Chizuru ship:

KAZACHI ofc. I also adore OkiChi and maybe IbaChi as I always had a soft spot for childhood friend(exceptional for Heisuke in SSL as he’s still looks like a kid).

Top 3 ships over all:

Hakuouki

KazaChi. I wasn’t expecting to ship them harder the moment I got his good ending trololol.

AmaSen. When I play Kazama route for several times, I used to thought that there’s a hint of AmaSen there. Such as he brings Sen to Kazama’s location without protest, and the other one is he couldn’t able to go to Ezo with Kazama/Chizuru cuz he’s worried of Sen WAY MORE than Chizuru’s safety lolol. And so, I was like, oh now that’s a good and interesting pairing there.

But when I ‘watch’ Story of the Shinsengumi of Amagiri’s route, I was completely flabbergasted to see how Sen and Amagiri have a very close relationship. It’s not the kind  of relationship between the Princess and the Guardian. It’s much more deeperfuck you Heisuke route how dare you make Amagiri forget Sen True that Amagiri respected her very highly but I believed there’s something even better than that. So in conclusion, They. Are. Fuckin. Canon. Deal with it.

Aaaaaannd KazaSai. At first, they’re actually my guilty pleasure pairing, but the moment I’ve read the fanfics between them(which are mostly smut-ish, yet had a very nice plotline oneshot. And another one’s angsty, which is MY FAV; not just Saitou lose his left arm, he also lose his voice to say ‘I love you’ to Kaza urgh I cried so much that fic.. HOW DARE YOU) Yes yes, I understand this pairing is more as abusive(?) But hey, there are more people(which is, mostly japanese writer/artist) draw/writing these two as a not so abusive-ish.

Urakata Hakuouki

Takasugi x Kozue. His route and CGs kinda intrigued me. Some reviewers say that Izou’s way better while the rest of routes treated Kozue like a big bro or something. While Izou is special..? Umm I don’t know???

Aritomo x Kozue. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him little by little. HIs caring/worried toward Kozue was very something. Compared Hijikata though, he’s not over-protective or tells her to stay away from him or something. I like this kind of tsundere.

Nakaoka x Kozue. I was quite curious of him the moment I found Nakaoka/Takasugi CG where Nakaoka is all like ‘TAKASUGI-SENPAI!!!!’. Really, if Otomate ever makes Urakata SSL, Nakaoka and Shiranui should’ve create ‘Takasugi fan club’ by now pffffft. Aaaanyway, back to Nakaoka x Kozue pairing, like TakaKozue, his route quite intrigued as well. There are times Nakaoka acted a bit dorky, and there’s also Sakamoto the COCKBLOCKER. And her Niisama is alive there too...!!!!!

Do you write/draw/contribute to the fandom in some way? (If not, did you want to pass along the names of blogs that do and what you like about them?)

I have a writing blog in tumblr which is, @byaichi126fic and Fanfiction.net. However, right now, I’m focusing on writing KazaSai fics and possibly Change fic only. I also intending to write OkiChi fic, which is, requested by guest reviewer from Hisuru Hana fic. It’s been along time however, BUT her words giving me inspired to write it.

I also have an art blog. However, I don’t draw much. It depends. But, my fav Kazama/Saitou palette color already lost in my old laptop. So, the only way to make me draw once again is I have to send my old laptop to the electronic shop to fix it. 

Thank you very, very, very muuuuuuch for taggin me. It’s makes me so happy for getting notice~

Pretty sure everyone got tag already but, again, curiously taggin so...

@amiliephan, @kawaiisakuraoni