#im p sure i had more but i cant find them now

[todayisafridaynight]

Pleeeeease upload the aoki and Daigo pics lmaooo I wanna see their dumb faces together

these are But A Few but LOL

and then. of course. The Daigo Fight footage now without any audio cause i killed it while making the amv

[fvckednddistvrbed]

i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[mechstims]

How I make stimboards!

hi! i had a couple of messages asking how i make boards, so i thought i'd make a pretty elaborate breakdown on my methods!! ive been doing this since... probably around 2016/2017 ;w;

may be slightly image heavy and long! but... lets get into it!

Step one: Decide your theme! this part is super easy lol just figure out what your theme is! characters (or objects or whatever) usually go in the middle of the board. if you're using someone elses art PLEASE dont forget to link the source!! directly, not just pinterest!! I try and use official art as much as possible.

Step two: Plan your colours! I use a 3x3 grid for this if im making a traditional sized board!

here it is empty and a filled in example! feel free to save my empty one if you want lol you can just edit it in paint. keeping it balanced is for the best! it makes it more pleasing

some more examples of colour schemes! balance is key!

Step three: finding gifs and setting the board up

DO NOT USE PINTEREST!!! AND DO NOT PUT YOUR SOURCES DOWN AS PINTEREST

and for the love of primus dont put "credit to the gif makers" or "credit to the owners". please.

okay. now ive said that lets get into it. id say tumblr and tenor are two of the places i use the most. its as simple as looking up the type of gif or the colour you want. example would be: pink stim, red stim, food stim, slime stim etc!

dont forget to save the sources!!! try your best to go back to the source as much as possible. this usually means clicking through stim boards which is VERY annoying. but go back to the original gif poster if possible, unless the gif or blog has been deleted :(

this is much easier on PC. i just drag the gifs into a little grid directly on my desktop with the coloured grid above it as a guide for sources i keep a .txt file open to save the sources. the "x" marks spots where i havent filled in a gif yet

lol sneak peek to the skids board im working on for a request >w>"

pro tip: if you're using multiple of the same kind of gifs, make sure to put them on opposite sides for balance.

example! if the yellow square is a slime gif make sure to put it like the grid on the left. the grid on the right is unbalanced and makes it look awkward

does this make sense? basically, balance is key.

also dont be afraid to colour shift if you cant find stuff in the right colour :p speaking of! to crop gifs into squares, edit, change size and colour shift use ezgif.com!

Step four: posting!

upload all your gifs, make sure theyre in order and add sources! the easiest part! to add sources simply highlight the text and click the "inline link" button!

make sure to tag! you can copy and paste these tags if you want a baseline!

stimboard#stim#stimblr#stimmy#stim gifs#visual stim#stim blog

i also tend to add the colours and character names, as well as fandom tags!

i hope this is helpful to anyone whos just learning to make boards!

[snufflepup]

Hm, they sound interesting. I've never heard of them before lol, like when you talked about tablet ice-cream. That of which I actually haven't tried yet cause my mom won't take me to the store :P. Oof, maybe if I can ever come to the UK and we can meet up, then that could be a thing we can do together^^. I enjoyed it a good bit for something live action, and I remember finding a good couple of the guys hot lol. What's your favorite studio ghibli movie? Mines always been spirited away and totoro. Though I liked ponyo a lot too. I've only seen the more popular movies from them, but I wanna watch the other movies too really badly. That actually makes sense lol, I've never heard it said like that, but I understand how the whole power of friendship thing is actually practical in the anime now. Lol thats cute. Who was your favorite character when you watched it? I allways liked bakugou and toga. I love yanderes in different media, and shes just so cute!^^ i used to have space buns like her in 6th grade before i realized they didnt make my roundish face look good. Then i cut my hair pretty short, so i cant do it now lol. Now i go for more of the denki kinda haircut but a little wavy cause thats my hair type. Yeah! Aqua is a water goddess that he uses his last dying wish to bring down to the new magical world with him out of spite lol. Then he meets darkness (masochist yellow girl) and some magical little girl I forgot the name of but her main color is red. I like how his group is basically primary colors and he's green lol. Im actually not that into issekai anime, more so psychological or mystery ones such as tomodachi game and bungou stray dogs. Im embarrased now- im sorry i misunderstood. My little lesbian friend doesnt cuss so i just assumed you were like that too cause i mean idk if ive seen you cuss lol. m glad your day has been alright, apart from that I mean. I understand lol. I get had hearing days a lot cause of how often I have in earbuds and just get hearing fatigue. I swear a ton too lol, though guess that's mostly due to my smoldering southern charm (ゝω・) /j. But my probably most used cuss word is fuck. Or bitch, though I use that more as a word of endearment, like you're my bitch. Though you'd be a guy puppy so I can't really say that :P. Is there a name for guy puppies like there is for girls? Idk any lol. Glad you're excited about more ft content^^ what is it? More chapters to the Manga or a new season to the anime or something? I hate when my asks don't send >:(. How's your day been? I got a school band performance to get ready for tonight. (Maybe the third times a charm)

-Ike<3

Yes !! that sounds good ! (　＾▽＾) I haven't watched any of them in a while, so I'm not sure what mine would be !! I think probably Ponyo, I rewatched it so much when I was younger ! I'd like to watch all of them again really ! It can understand why people still wouldn't like it now, despite that, but nobody ever used to mention it so it used to make me feel a little . insane . I found it hard to decide on a set favourite, but, I think they were deku and uraraka !! I also really liked denki and todoroki a lot too !! aaaa the more I think about the less certain I am of who my favourites are . I love love love toga and bakugo too !!!! I don't actually think I've ever had my hair in space buns, now that I'm thinking of it. . . but I bet little you probably looked super cute ! Your current hair style sounds really nice, too ! I play as the my hero characters a lot when I play fortnite though ! I think it's a little funny to see them do all the dances and stuff fjdhkdkf ooo ! That sounds really cool ! I see I see ! Those ones are pretty cool too, I just whatever ones catch my attention to be honest !!! Don't apologise !! I understand ! I didn't mean it in bad way ^–^ That's fair ! I don't really do it all the time on here because I just . haven't but I've been told by people that they associate swearing with me lol ( and spelling things really badly . ) I'm not really sure why I get it, my guess is that it's probably the same as you, then because I wore earphones like all the time until receently. . . but now I just wear over the head-headphones ! A lot of people where I am swear a lot too, I feel like it is pretty rare to find someone that doesn't swear all the time ! I used to know people that did the same !! I don't really mind it, to be honest, so you could if you wanted ! ^–^ and not really, I think ! Maybe mutt ? It can be used for both, but a lot of people use it on boy ones so ? but it's not really used in the same way bitch is used ! Yes !!! So, currently, whats being worked on is Fairy Tail 100 year quest but he said once that's done he's going to continue Fairy Tail so I'm really really excited !!! I need to catch up with the 100 year quest anime as well, though ! Sorry this took so long . I . don't really have the words to explain but ! Have you been well ? Did your performance go alright ?

[marvelita85]

16 years of age and your grandfather the king thought you were of age to start looking for a husband you knew your mother had chosen your father at similar age, you were a dragon, you ride DarkShadow the 2nd larger dragon after Vaghar and a princess obviosly many great lords and sons would come to kingslanding to dispute your hand, you didnt want any part of it, you wish your freedom as your mother did at that age

Rhaenyra your mother granted you more freedom than most mothers would

- you are a delight for sore eyes my niece -Aegon walked beside you and you tried to hide a smile

- uncle.... Im surprise to find you awake so early in the morrow...

- I knew you were coming today how can I not welcome my favourite niece

- Im the only one you have, but thank you my prince...- you always tried to be polite with your uncles, Aegon was never close to you,but realising you have become a beautiful woman he would definitly be closer much to your disconfort but you could always count on your brothers to save you

Jace found you and soon took you away from Aegon, in just a moment your eyes turn and found the ones of your other uncle the one you've always been close the one you yearn in your absence in dragonstone, he wear an eyepatch now and you just hope he didnt hate you for any part you had that fatidic night

Aemond was training when his niece got outside the countryard he followed her with his eye and silently thanked his nephew to go and rescue her from his brothers schemes

- she has became beautiful... a delight - his brother said Aemond only looked at her he didnt care she was a bastard her eyes hold a Targaryen look as they were dark purple as much as his instead of your brothers you had your mothers eyes

You were your grandfather's favourite he anounced in the feast that night whoever you chose would rule with you after his passing and after your mothers, any children you might have would rule after you and all men in westeros wanted their heirs to rule the 7 kingdoms, you didnt want that presure but it was inevitable, for now you were dancing with your cousins and your brothers who were bethroded to them, Luke let go of your hand as you star spining in the middle of the dance floor but you lose your footing tangle with your dress and you though you would fall but a pair of hands steady you holding you close as you stoped

- uncle!!... thank you...

- are you sure I can stop holding you there is no danger for you to fall- he was taller than you he hold a half smiling never taking his eye from yours

- no... I believe I survived today thanks to you...

- hmm...- he simply let go of you and you realised you didnt want to lose his arms around you

- my prince... I presume you wouldnt stay to dance with me... even if I ask you one...

- you presume right niece - you gave a small smile and bow your head trying not to feel disapointed but you were deep inside you hope Aemond wouls say yes to spend sometime with you - this is not the field I'd like to dance but if you want tomorrow I expect to be training outside - your smile watching him go said everything and no one in your family missed the way you interact with the Targaryen prince

You turn to the sweet table and grab an orange cake closing your eyea enjoying it

- what are you doing? - your brother was beside you

- what are you talking about Jace?

- our uncle...

- what about him...

- you invited him on a dance

- yes, I just wanted to thank him for stoping me to embarassed myself in front of everyone if I fall

- he is looking for your favors sister...

- he just wanted to be polite he never did anything improper

- you are the heir of the 7 kingdoms he wish for that throne is the only thing that matters he knows he can be king through you

- so... any man I chose knows he will rule with me one day... what if I want our uncle to be that man...

- you cant be serious...

- he is a prince, he is a Targaryen he is smart and clever and he was never evil hearted towards me from all the prospects grandfather showed me tonight I would married Aemond in a heart bit if it only depended on me

- he hates us... he will always think we are bastards you included

- I wonder why he harbored those sentiments in his heart for us, if I have to remind you brother you took his eye..

- it was Lucerys after he called us bastards

- it doesnt matter what he called you or if Luke was defending you, you never said sorry... maybe now is too late but you never apologized and probably it was the only thing he was expecting, you were friends once, and now that relationship is lost forever only because no one could say one word that could chance everything

- i hope Damon and mother never allows you to marry him - you hated to fight with any of your brothers you loved them but you couldnt deny what was building inside your heart

Part 2:

[caramelstarlight]

Keaya x reader, and reader has a pyro vision, people think that they don’t get along ( cause ice and fire) but they actually a great duo and opposites attract romance trope *chef’s kiss* 👌

Sorry for not posting. been busy saving primos. Just 6 days ago I had 8k and now im at 11k :D

Also I found that one audio of ppls favorite genshin characters from elements trend. Heres the audio. lmk if anyone wants to do it with me XD

Find it here: Trend Song

My favorites are: Tighnari,Ganyu,Klee,Venti,Albedo,Kokomi and Yae Miko. (Theres only one blue :p and no teal. So I leave Anemo black or white depending on your settings of light or dark mode and make hydro become pink bc again one blue.)

Anyways onto the story because yes. <3

It is true, Opposites can Attract.

Kaeya x Reader (Pyro vision) I now have 4 requests in my inbox so Im starting to work on them. I feel bad for my wattpads since I dont give them much but I do tell them that im active on tumblr. :d

Fluff :D More under cut <3 (Also I decided to make it where Y/N is the older sibling of klee for funsies. You get a different title of the "Inferno Knight" or "Wildfire Knight." Keep that in mind bc yes. Your the one mostly helping klee when the other knights cannot. Shes one of the ones she trusts the most.

"Have you heard of the "Wildfire/Inferno Knight? They are apparently Klees bigger brother/sister/sibling. I wonder how much it takes to keep the Spark Knight under control..." A person muttered to their friend at Angels Share. "I feel slightly bad for them, having to deal with bombs a lot sure sounds dangerous."

Your back leaned against the wall as you drank your drink. (I was going to say Apple juice LMAOO-) Slightly listening to the conversation and keeping the tavern in check since Diluc was elsewhere.

Especially when your boyfriend Kaeya was there. You don't know what storm could brew when hes around. He and Lisa are surely mysterious people. You watched him for a few moments before your gaze lingered on the two talking about you.

Your gaze went back to Kaeya, he looked at you as you moved your head towards the door. Signaling you both should get going as diluc would most likely return soon, the bartender should be good without you both there.

"Your so confusing and mysterious at times kaeya." You'd tell him as you exited Angels share and headed to the Knights of Favonious building. "Maybe thats why you liked me the best~" He'd tell you as many people stared as you walked. Figuring you both hated each other due to being opposites. But hey, you cant blame them.

"I can imagine Klee already got in trouble today. I'd better go bail her out of trouble if I can." "Ohh? Telling me your plans are we? Does that mean I can ruin it?" "No im just telling you." Trying to ignore all the confused stares.

Upon entering the building you went to the Solitary Confinement room opening it to see if klee was inside. Which she was. You closed the door on kaeya as he waited outside of the room. You sat down and held klees hands. "What did you do this time klee?" You'd ask her as she unexpectedly blew another few fish in cider lake.

You sighed as you handed her a few food and drinks. Before getting up and leaving the room. "Anyways did you guys enjoy the "BottleLand?" I heard eula went as well." "Yeah she did, it was nice and one of them gave me and klee a costume."

Leaving the Knights of Favonious buildings you stayed in the plaza looking at all the stares before kaeya asked them to stop and told them about the relationship. Everyone was shocked as they all thought you guys didn't like each other and only putted up with the other for your jobs.

(I had no idea what to do and I kept getting distracted lmao- I was on this for like 2 hours because of distractions from yt, sorry if its bad).

[towerologia]

im convinced i already sent you an ask abt this but i cannot find it so maybe i hallucinated it? i am rewriting it cuz you are my coolest mutual and also bc its not like i can tell anyone in real life abt this

im Convinced my partner is at least partially transfem but its like. please how do i help em crack their egg

like for context some of the things that they do is: have extremely long hair, loves it when i call em a girl, loves to be called pretty, was so happy when i made em try my dresses, wanted me to put makeup and nailpolish on em, said that theyre fine with any pronouns, straight up told me they tought they were trans for like a week many years ago.... but they still call themselves a cis man

dont get me wrong i have brought this up w em like, as gently as i could, and they said that they kinda knew i had suspicions, and they questioned their gender too, but they are 99% sure theyre not trans. they continue to say they like any pronouns and smile so much when i use feminine pronouns w em.

so on one hand im like. this is your life, and obvs i cant force labels onto you, and sometimes people are just gender noncomforming. on the other hand, im preeeeeeeeettyvsure theres something deeper going on and i want to help my partner but i have no idea what to do

also its not like they dont have enough exposure to trans people, me and the other person in our friend group are both trans :p

I mean, honestly, let em know that they dont have to be a binary trans woman to be trans. If they feel fine with the label of cis man that is fine too! But you dont have to be uncomfortable or unhappy with your gender to be trans, often times someone with a more loose presentation might wonder for a long time because they dont fit the marks, but think 'im fine like this so i guess im not'. The thing is that it can be fine like that, surely, but it can be wonderful when trying other stuff. Honestly just let em know you'd hold their back whatever label they pick, and that labels are fluctuant and not something you gotta pick and stick with it. Also, they could simply not use any labels at all. One could be like 'well i dont think im a trans woman, i dont think im nonbinary, im def not a trans man because thats not my anatomy, so i guess im just cis', and while thats fine too, theres the option to simply be queer, or unlabeled. Let em know that they dont gotta pick something with any rush, that they dont need to define themselves in a word to fit in a twitter bio. If they find cis man descriptive for them, thats also wonderful! I find a lot of joy in seeing cis men use any pronouns and present femeninely. Someday in the future they might go for smth else, and it doesnt make their cis man-ness less true to who they are now, and their autodefinition of 'cis man' now isnt less because of what they might pick next. Make sure they know its a matter of preference and comfort, rather than discomfort and guidelines. Make sure they can be whoever they want around you, which im sure you already do. Talk to them about how they feel, ask them about what the labels they use mean to them and share about the labels you use and the meaning these have for you. We have all the options in the world, always, me, you, them, everyone else who exists. Nothing is permanent and a small change could signify a big joy. Im sorry if this is a big paragraph of 'just be yourself 🏳️‍🌈 :)', i could probably be of more help if i knew them but alas i hope this is something at least!

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome Home Website (Part 1)

ITS OUUTTTTT IM SO HYPED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

IM SO EXCITED TIME TO EXPLORE AND LOOK AT IT

spoilers(??) under the cut !!

OK SO first off im just on the first page and already the little animation of someone (Wally?) drawing Home is new

A LOT OF NEW THINGS SO EXCITING !!! love the little Wally sitting on the website updates !!

as you can see, i've highlighted that little section underneath the artwork of Wally sitting on a rock

and thats because i noticed that the text is blocked after 'about the' and wanted to highlight it and copy paste it to get the text behind the gif (bc im p sure its the gif of the spinning home thats blocking it)

"learn about the vibrant world around them and take part in nonsensical fun!"

i have no idea if that was on purpose or if thats what it said originally (its been a while since ive seen the website ok?) but thats interesting OH I KNOW HOW TO CHECK

ok so i went to Night Mind's video on Welcome Home because it was about an old version of the site, and yep nothing about that has changed besides the fact that 'vibrant world' is now covered

is this important or could it just be a glitch? no idea but i'll let it go for now

onto the more obvious new changes

alright so i read through the website update, and the 'y' on 'You' in the first sentence of the second paragraph is capitalized AND in a different font last time we had to look out for letters that were out of place, so im taking note of this

though it may just to highlight 'you' as in us, the viewers/audience/people interacting with the site

also!! a little ladybug thing is coming from behind that counter (which i assume is counting how many people have visited the site) and its cute! and new and i wonder if its important to anything?

is it just me or is the background different (i dont think it is but it feels more saturated to me (maybe its just been a while since ive seen the site tho LOL))

the telephone is interesting too but i think we'll find out more of it in the exhibition page

i'll be going through the different pages from left to right

OK SO I WAS JUST READING THRU THE 'Welcome Home!' PAGE TO SEE IF ANYTHING CHANGED AND I SAW ANOTHER LIL BUG

AND I OPENED THE IMAGE CUZ I WANTED TO SEE THE FULL GIF LIKE THE LADYBUG

BUT IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS INSTEAD ????

well now im afraid

i will save that for later i will finish looking through the rest of this page um

so. the W on 'Wally' is still messed up as you can see but not sure if thats still relevant since that was a clue for last time yk

so the restored art pieces are the same, nothing's changed

this is new though

i can click on the tulips and after the bug im a little afraid

by clicking on the yellow tulip

by clicking on the blue and red tulips

audio !! neat

the names of the tabs are interesting, i wonder if u put them in a certain order it will make a sentence? like 'will you help me' or something?? will have to find more secrets i guess

ok so now i will watch 'answer' (im afraid)

ITS FRANK AND BARNABY FIGHTING IM SO ENTERTAINED AND THIS IS SO FUNNY

also !! omg they have voices now thats so cool !!

i have no idea what it is im looking at, but it must be somewhere in Frank's garden right?

OK SO I COUNTED THE FIGURES IN THE VIDEO AND THERES 8 OF THEM AND THERE'S 8 NEIGHBORS AND I FEEL LIKE THATS IMPORRTANT not sure what it means but !! still

now the end of the video has my interests peaked, because when Frank asks (who i assume is) us and the audio just glitches out? first a deep voice replies to Frank but i cant make out what its saying

also then the glitch at the end, i think its supposed to loop with the glitch at the beginning

like it sounds connected

oh also some amendment to the figures there's actually 9 of them one is just at the edge of the camera and u cant see it

ok next for the audios

so 'Help' is Wally, which is interesting

nothing too helpful(aha) but just him realizing that we can hear him i guess? 'What are you waiting for?' the answers obv/j

Wally's laugh is so cute

'will' huh he talks about eyes, he said thats what an eye looks like, his are black and asks what color is mine/ours

it might just be me but the middle of the record kinda looks like an eye? or maybe im just crazy LOL

ok now onto 'The Neighborhood' page

so first off, i can click the gif of Home surrounded by flowers at the top

oh wait it just brings u back to the first/home page LMAOAOAOOA

another bug

clicked it and another video called 'answer' and its probably another video in Frank's garden

OOOOH AUDIO

SHE HAS A VOICE AND ITS SO CUTE AND IT FITS SO WELL I LOVE HER

also interesting thing to note! the colored part of the records are different for each character, Julie's is pink and Sally's orange

i point this out because there were records for the 'Help' and 'will' audio, they were broken but the color was red

and red is associated with Wally (and Home too) so yeah thats all

anyways Sally's voice fits her so well too!! i love it, actually kinda reminds me of a character from Star Darlings LOL

Poppy's voice is cute! has old lady vibes

another bug, surprisingly on Eddie's character page, which is interesting

LOVE HIS VOICE IT FITS SO WELL TOO 'When it comes to friendship, I always deliver!' ur so cute Eddie

HELP ME HOWDY'S VOICE????? IT FITS SO WELL TOO????? so old-timey announcer voice

ofc Barnaby's voice sample is him making a joke. ofc it is. also his voice reminds me a LOT of Sans from Undertale so

actually now that i think abt it Frank's voice reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale,, n the fight they had has similar vibes to Sans and Papyrus,,, well anyways

tbh in my head he always had more of a Squidward voice, like more nasally(?) but his voice fits really well too!

everyone already knows what Wally sounds like, but wow hearing it in a not-creepy environment is always cool

anyways. the flower is a gif and i can click on it so more creepy stuff now

hm called 'will' again which is interesting but the W is capitalized

the so below page is the same so time to check out the new stuff!

starting with the bug from the bottom of The Neighborhood page

so i was wrong its actually Frank and Poppy baking which is cute! love their friendship BUT Frank's voice got glitched out at the end when Frank said 'Wally' which makes me wanna re-listen to the first one

OH MY GOD OK SO THE VOICE WASNT A REPLY, IT WAS FRANK'S VOICE GLITCHING OUT ON 'WALLY' OMG

so all these videos are from Wally's perspective???

yep so the bug from Eddie's page leads to a video of Frank and Eddie talking about a bug that's in the post office!! made me especially giddy because i ship Frank x Eddie LOL

they are so cute!! so cute !!!!!

also, i've only seen 3 but it's interesting how all these videos are of Frank interacting with the other neighbors, then the video ending with his voice glitching out on 'Wally'

i think that there's more bugs and videos for the rest of the neighbors, but i'll go looking for them later! im gonna eat now and i wanna take a break to absorb all this stuff

OH I JUST REALIZED WHY THE VIDEOS ARE CALLED 'ANSWER' BC THEY END W FRANK ASKING WALLY A QUESTION, SO THIS IS HIS ANSWER?? OR SOMETHING ?? IT LEADS INTO AN ANSWER???

i have no idea but i'll ponder on it more later bye bye!

[kzele]

Part 2 Convo

T: * a sympathetic and pained look crosses tombstones face*

P: "My first crook. He's in jail still, and will be for a long while. But I can't let that happen to anyone else or turn a blind eye ever again if it means someone gets hurt."

T: "i... I know its not useful to hear from me. But Im sorry. And I wish you had someone on your side with your ideals that you were sharing this story with instead of an enemy.

P: *doesn't really know what to say to that and deflects* "What about you? You shared your story with me, too. I still share the other things with my loved ones. Haven't you done that with anyone else?"

T: "I think that Ive mentioned some of it to hammerhead. but as you said, it is not that uncommon of a story growing up in this city. So sharing it is not nearly always the most productive thing to do.

P: "Especially when 'looking weak' isn't exactly a good thing to project, right?"

T: "Exactly."

P: "So, why do it around me?"

T: *tombstone pauses and thinks for a moment* Im not sure. Theres alot about you that makes me unsure

P: *a little sarcasm returns* "Don't I feel special. Alright, so now that you know that, what exactly are you going to do about me now? You said murder is off the table which means you're thinking up alternatives."

T: "Im not sure. I know for sure youll never take that deal. I know that my men will continute to have to fight you, but if youre not killing them, then them not killing you is not the oddest of requests. Most of the lower levels still are convinced your going to kill them, so letting them know we came to an arrangement will sooth some of that and ease trigger happy fingers."

P: Alright. Does that mean you're still going to try and find out more about me?"

T: "Probably. To fight an unknown is to guarantee failure at some point.

P: "Wasn't all this enough for you? What more could you possibly want to know?"

T: "Information you dont have is information you cant use. Im sure theres a lot more to you than you think."

P: "If you say so. *realizes something* That. . .could be an explanation as to why Ock switched from kill to capture with me. He doesn't usually have a problem killing kid bystanders, much less his enemies. It's weird for him to make an exception with me."

T: "from what Montana's said about everything, Ock's either dead set on finding out what makes you tick or making you into an apprentice of some sort."

P: *facepalm* "Wonderful. I tried telling him he wasn't my type, but he doesn't take 'no' for answer. Or any constructive criticism on being a somewhat tolerable human."

T: *snorts and tries to cover it up*

P: *eyes widen* "You laughed! You agree with me, don't you? You think he's a jerk, too! Beyond the whole 'standards' thing, that is."

T: *embarrassed that he lost control. Clears throat* I do agree that the Doctor is... Lacking in a lot of ways when it comes to interacting with others.

P: "Oh, come off it. I'm glad you agree with me but you don't have to be so formal about this. I mean, we told each other our backstories and you're getting more flustered over laughing about me saying that Ock's a social dumpster fire."

T: *relaxing a little to tease back* I have to keep up my scary crime lord face especially in front of the infamous Spider-Man

P: *lights up* "You do have a sense of humor! Hallelujah, it's a miracle! You must be a laugh-a-minute at all the crime parties."

T: *rolls his eyes* ah yes the infamous crime parties that are hosted weekly to make us all feel better about life.

P: *cheerfully* "Sure, you guys must have the best glaring contests on the east coast. I'll bet you won all those hands-down, too."

T: *shakes his head* sadly no. Vulture, while not a boss, has the strongest glares.

P: "Oh, yeah. I forgot about him. He's a mean old codger, isn't he? He and Ock are reigning sourpuss champs among supervillains. It's probably why they get along so well."

T: *raising an eyebrow. How had no one figured out how young spider man was before?* indeed.

P: "I can't imagine working with either of them well without some real attitude adjustment on their part. And that's not even getting into the whole moral void they have. Why Ock is so interested in someone who doesn't share his view in anything is beyond me."

T: "perhaps he thinks he is smart enough to change your mind to fit his views. Though, given his utter lack of experience with much of new yorks underbelly, im not sure what he his views include beyond some large hopes for power and how he hopes to explain and convince anyone reasonable of anything."

P: *snorts* "You said it. He wasn't smart enough to deal with me before and he still isn't. He wasn't even smart enough to figure out I never tried to have him killed."

T: "Hmm. that might be his ego speaking. He might consider himself too powerful for people not to be attempting to murder him."

P: "Yeah, but killings not my style. Even if it was, I wouldn't need to rig a lab to blow up when I have literal super strength. All it'd take for me to make it look like an accident is to drop him from a skyscraper or something. *winces* Again, not my style."

T: *scrunching his nose slightly.* Im now somewhat glad its not. Though, I can totally foresee Goblin doing something like that.

P: "Yeah, I can see that. If he's a big enough creep to blow up a ballroom full of people, he'd definitely make street pizza out of his enemies. Maybe you should keep a parachute or something on hand."

T: "Or reinforce all my windows. I apparently have a problem" *he says dryly*

P: "Hey, don't look at me. I leave your windows intact when I sneak in. Breaking glass doesn't really help when I want to be stealthy."

T: *frowns* "True. But the fact that anyone gets in at all is rather disheartening. When I first started out we had far fewer people comeing through the window on the highest floors. A few. but it was far less frequent."

P: "I can see you throwing people out the windows more than I can see people sneaking in. Who else is crazy enough to come through the window from this height?"

T: "Oh, there are a few. Were a few."

P: *anime sweatdrop* "That's not at all ominous. Does that mean you'll actually start inviting me in now? Should I expect engraved invites from here on out?"

T: "Sure. Ill even leave out milk and cookies."

P: "Wrong time of year for that kind of visitor. I'll still leave you any coal I find, though."

T: "Better than nothing at all which is what Im used to. Ill take the coal." *a grin threatens to come out but he holds onto it*

P: *blinks at that* "You serious? No presents at Christmas time, not even from your employees?Now that's criminal."

T: *confused* "Why would they do that? It goes top down for gifting. If your lucky and work for the right people. Which.. I didnt." * he then snorts at second bit and shakes his head*

P: *also very confused* "You. . .give presents to someone if you want to or if they need it. There's no specific direction gift-giving has to go. I mean, it's a voluntary thing, not a corporate bonus."

T: *tilts head* If you say so.

P: *scandalized* "At least tell me you get birthday presents."

T: "Do you really think that I celebrate my birthday with other people?"

P: "Why not? What's so wrong about that?"

T: "Its just another day that sits on the calendar. Nothing special. I eat work and sleep the same on that day as I would on any other."

P: *frustrated* "Alright, thanks for confirming you're depressingly boring as heck, especially for a crime lord. If you had the entire day to yourself, what WOULD you do for fun?"

T: *blinks at the tone. then considers the question and stares out the window* With no work to do?... Read. hit my punching bag. Drink tea. All the stuff I do when i need to think I suppose. And you? What would you do? I suppose my activities fall into 'depressingly boring as heck'

P: "I'm not knocking the fact you have alone time, I'm knocking the fact that you don't seem to ever hang out with anyone and enjoy someone else's company for its own sake."

T: "Enjoying the company of others has never been a strength of mine. now. Your turn kid. Tell me what you would do with a day to yourself."

P: "Hanging out with friends at a cafe or watching a movie together. Literally any time spent with them or my family. Alone time would be reading or working on fun experim-ah."

T: "experim-ah?"

P: *does not want to reveal how much science he knows* "Anyways, you get the picture. Alone time and people time. Everyone needs a little of both."

T: *decides not to press. He's already been very lucky today* I see. Makes sense that you feel that way, given what a chatterbox you tend to be during fights.

P: "Chatterbox, nothing. Everyone needs someone in their corner. Even if the people in mine don't know about all this, they are still here for me. For all your talk about me being alone, it doesn't sound like you have anyone that doesn't need to be paid to be alongside you."

T: *shrugs* I'm not a smart mouthed teen throwing down with adults. Without an adult who knows about said throw downs, might I add. I doubt your friends know about this either.

P: *unashamedly* "Nope, none of them the slightest clue. If they do, it's not because I said anything. I think I've been proven capable of handling most things."

T: "right. And I'm sure you're psychologically sound with no trauma or lasting issues related to trust or fighting."

P: "Thanks for the insight, pot, I needed to be called black today."

T: *sighs a little* Takes one to know one.

P: "Sure. And who do you suggest I talk to about this, oh wise one?"

T: *serious* Someone you actually trust. Which isnt me or any of the villains who managed to capture you and caused the lead up to this conversation. I dont know who. But when you dont talk, it can eat at you. But perhaps, thats one too many psychology books talking

P: "Probably. I'll think about it. I still don't get how you're planning to use this info on me, anyways. Do YOU even know how?"

T: "Wheres the fun in answering that question Spider?"

P: "Right. Can't ruin your image of 'crime lord who actually knows what he's doing.'"

T: *rolls his eyes* get out of here you little twerp.

P: *purposefully stalls a moment* "You didn't say the magic word."

T: *raises an eyebrow* Or I'll throw you out? I know for a fact you'll catch yourself on the way down.

P: "Technically, that'd be disqualified for being multiple words, anyways." *flips onto the ceiling before he can get caught*

T: *laughs and quickly quiets* fine. Please leave my office, spider.

P: *jaunty wave* "Seeya around, Tomby. Don't let the Goblins bite. *flips out the window and swings off* WOO-HOO!"

T: *shakes his head* That kid better watch himself out there.

[cinnachaos]

ok so morgan lore (sorry this is so long , ive had lore cooking for these guys for a while and i never really fully finished it but here it is) (aslo i typed this all out half asleep i kight edit it later but maybe not idk)

warning for death and schtuff below

he lives on an apocalypse-ish planet where there are frequent lockdowns because of the inner monster stuff (refer to that other infodumping post) and unfortunately beth and jerry both got stuck in monster rampaging form and had to be exterminated/couldnt be found or anchored back into human form (they dont currently have a cure but later on with rick and morgan home they make one)

summer has a missing arm from a fucky wucky with a monster so she uses a robotic arm , she also has a shorter cut thats a bit fluffier and she doesnt wear a ponytail

rick has to leave the universe because he had a Monster Momento and fucked with a group of ricks so he wanted to make sure his morty and summer werent brought into it (his original family is all gone, it took him a LOT of tries to find morgan and summer so he cares a shit ton abt them)

morgan goes oh shit what the hell and takes a portal gun his rick stole and tries to find him but miami morty/mimi sees him thinking hes a rogue morty and goes can we keep him pretty please rick and even after he says no shoots a morty manipulator chip at him and drags him home like a wet cat

they go on adventures together, morgan usually wearing headphones and using weapons based off of games he likes because he doesnt like killing things so he does that to make it less AAAAGH for him (ill send my five thousand headcanons for the miamis and canon stuff about the monsters later)

one time he has a Moment with his monster form because unlike rick who at this point has most control over it bc hes coped with his trauma fairly well after mimi and rick get hurt and they have to heal him since his monster form usually damages him a lot (mainly through bruising, and if he uses his spikes or blades, bleeding)

they have a lot of fun unnttiiilll monster rick/his original rick comes to take him home and mistakes them for kidnappers even though theyve been taking good care of him so they both get into a fight and monster rick decides to take him home and keep him in the morty mind blower area of their house until he remembers which causes a huge freakout on morgans behalf

the miamis and monsters (summer and rick) go find him but go oh fuck its those guys and fight and then morgan has to go like guys what the fuck i like both of you and consider both of you family can you STOP FIGHTING so they go oh uh ok and now they have to share custody of morgan /lhj

also yeah monster care/research was prioritized in earth mv87 12 (theres more but i forgor) and it eventually calms down from a mass epidemic to just mildly dangerous

heres an old doodle of them since u got to the wnd of the infodump 🎉🎉🎉 (idk when ill draw sumker maybe later, just probably wont be soon cus im not hyperfixated on r&m anymore even if i still like it😭)

actually fuckit im putting my headcanons n shit here

ok so mv87/monster things

★ morgan wears headphones while on adventures to avoid hearing loud noises like gunshots, usually listens to splatoon music on loop

★ morgan has a habit of doing splatoon win animations sometimes when he successfully finishes an adventure

★ morgan was originally caught by mimi with pocket mortys stuff, he considers both the miamis and monsters his family, also very close to chaos rick and morty (another friends rick and morty) (hyperions-world chars!!!)

★ morgan is very close to his ricks but kind of scared of other ricks, he knows they can be really mean and devalue their mortys and him being really sensitive/fragile he cant handle that

★ morgan iscomfortable with miami mortys (/p!!!) kisses on the head to him and loves physical affection from any of his family members/close friends even if hes like eeeeeeeeehhhh from other people

★ morgan has a bad habit of getting extremely attached to ricks very quickly and is like a nice rick magnet 😭 hes befriended multiple ricks in the citadel like cop rick and enthusiastically waves at them anytime he sees them

★ morgan sometimes sways back and forth like an inkling/octoling idol position and has a few weapons a rick made him based off of splatoon/pokemon that he uses CONSTANTLY and will never go more than 5 feet away from him at all times

★ morgan can and will pull all of his family members into his hyperfixes/sp/ins. he will. hes done it with splatoon and pokemon . he will drag you in eventually/j

★ monster rick is really stoic/apathetic looking but really deeply cares for his family and he doesnt apply to the typical rick "idgaf about u haha fuck u u little pussyfart morty" /LHJ he tries his best to be a good grandpa and guardian even with his traumas and inner monster dealio

★ monster rick is always partially in monster form cus he thinks it looks cool, he also has a tooth gap between his front teeth

★ the mv87s do not know what sleep is. they constantly have eye bags except for sometimes summer because shes the most early bird of them all and she is very responsible

★ morgan is trans , i am heavily debating on making summer trans too. maybe. m a y b e.

miami headcanons

★ miami rick spoils the shit out of miami morty even though he wont admit it to anyone and if morty brings it up rick lectures him on the way home/lhj

★ MIMI FUCKING LOVES MONSTER HIFH AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PRY THAT HEADCANON OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS

★ miami rick goes by he/she with close friends/family but he/him or he/they w anyone else

★ miami morty isnt as smart as rick but just about as powerful when it comes to strength and fighting smarts? not counting weapons and stuff

★ miami morty acts like an absolute angel around rick for the most part but is menacing as hell to people behind his back LMAO. oh and hes an absolute girlboss, a diva who could and would throw you out a window like an empty soda bottle

★ miami rick is very protective of morty in the way that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable because of his outfit or if anyone hits on him or just any creepy things in general rick will hate crime them

★ miami morty likes to jokingly flirt but sometimes will accidentally do it with other mortys and go oh wait thats me oops. well its still funny

★ miami morty also has a habit of platonically kissing his friends on the cheek/head like you would a pet or something and then has to awkwardly explain its not romantic 😭😭 (some fanart relating to pcoket mortys gave me this idea actually)

★ miami rick lets morty paint his nails sometimes, begrudgingly but it makes morty really happy so he acts like he hates it to keep up appearances but likes seeing morty happy

★ MIAMI MORTY USES HIS LOLLIPOP AS A SORT OF ORAL STIM, morgan would probably get him something that wouldnt murder his teeth to have in his mouth n stim with

★ mimi he/any moment

AGH. OK. FINALLY DONE. there. this is all like months old please excuse that i mostly am involved in like sploon and pokemon since theyre sp/ins not just hyperfixes lol

[moodr1ng]

a funny thing ive been thinking abt recently is.. as a crazyperson dealing with delusions, the one thing that best lets me manage them is not "convince myself that its not real" (i cant actually just turn off my psychosis :/) but saying "it IS real, this IS true, but only in my reality".

like, idk whether or not "objective reality" is a real thing and im sooo not interested in finding out, but i do know there is a... communal reality? one which is based on things which are observable to anyone, and which impact and are impacted by multiple people. so if thats our basis, the communal reality, then one might consider the idea of an individual reality; one where a person may observe, be impacted by, and impact things which are inobservable to anyone else, and which no one else can interact with directly. the observability and impact of what is being perceived by the person is undeniable to them, but it is very much deniable by anyone else, because its not true in the communal reality.

the crucial part of this, to me, is that if i use this framework, the only course of action that makes sense is to determine that i should avoid doing anything that would negatively impact people, things, or myself in the communal reality based on anything i observe solely in my individual reality. those things are not in the communal reality, so i have like, a sort of moral and also just rational duty to consider them fully irrelevant to the communal reality and to act accordingly.

like, ok, sometimes i become very aware (more than usual) that theres a woman on my balcony at night, and shes looking through my bedroom window and trying to get in, and some nights im so afraid of her that i lock my bedroom door and close the metal blinds all the way and sleep with the lights on. the woman on the balcony is very real... in my individual reality. but thats kind of the reality im in! so shes very real to me!

but, i know, shes not real to anyone else. so i shouldnt do dumb shit based on her being there. i know she cant impact the communal reality (my roommate isnt in danger, etc), so... its kinda fine that shes here?

she is scary and she does want to hurt me and im scared of her and i hate her and wish she would leave. and some nights i need to do my lil 'lockdown procedures' to get away from her, and it fucking sucks, and thats a very real shitty experience.

but, well, once i am able to recognize that shes not real to other people, then she can just be something i observe. i recognize that her reach is limited; that she cant hurt me or anyone else in any meaningful way; eventually, on most days she becomes background noise. eventually, me and them, in our pocket reality no one else experiences, i start to accept them a bit. if the lady could hurt me she would have by now - and i do think the lady on the balcony is also the 'witch behind the curtains' from my childhood, so.. she's had plenty of time.

she cant really hurt me. shes just trying to spook me. shes like these actors in walk-through haunted houses who are behind cages or fences - grabbing towards the audience, putting on a big show of how scary they are.. ultimately, theyre actors in a cage, still. the woman on the balcony is like that. scaring me is the only thing she actually can do; there is no true threat, because the cage of common reality will always hold her at arms length. and sure, shes really, really good at scaring me. and i really dont like it! but i can go through it and remind myself that its all an act. a haunted house tour i didnt sign up for, sure, but none of the actors are allowed to touch me. they cant affect the common reality.

like thats been p dope? im never gonna manage to believe that its "just not real". but i can manage "its real for me and nobody else". and that makes it bearable.

i talk to the man on the ceiling now, sometimes. when i leave my room in the dark i dont turn on the light - and i have always turned on the lights! - and i talk to him. i know hes there. and for years i checked the ceiling at night, compulsively, to make sure he wasnt there. he doesnt want me to see him, right, so i had to keep checking because that way he had to remain hidden and couldnt get close to me.

now i go sit in a completely dark, closed room and i say "hey man, hows it going up there", and hes there on the ceiling, of course, but i dont check now, to be polite (if hes that committed to hiding then clearly its nicer to not look for him!). i tell him about my day a bit. he doesnt respond, obviously, but also id really hate it if he did, so its all good with me. i picture his weird, blank head hanging down from the ceiling, his featureless face hovering just above me, watching me while im blinded by the darkness.

and those are the thoughts ive tried very, very hard to avoid having for so many years! i got into a habit of ig.. very intensely thinking the lyrics of a song while going through my apartment at night, doing the choreographed circuit of turning the lights off and on to make sure i was never in the dark, because if i let my thoughts slip for just a second id think about the ceiling man right behind me, and thatd freak me out.

just sitting there in the complete darkness, knowing hes so close, listening to me talk to him? not so long ago i wouldve had a panic attack about it. but its ok. because the ceiling man cant hurt me, either. and probably isnt even trying to.

i thought about it more, and i realized that while i know the woman is trying to hurt me - shes purposeful about scaring me - the ceiling man has never really been antagonistic. he follows me around, but moreso in the way an animal would follow some strange smaller animal out of curiosity. hes not really trying to do anything to me. hes just here. thats not his fault. hes stuck with me too! so, im chill with him now i guess.

like, seriously.. just saying "the paranoia entities are real actually, but just for me" has actually really really really helped. i wish i hadnt spent all this time thinking and being told that getting better meant no longer having delusions. like, sure, thatd be great!!!! but i cant just turn them off. and theres no treatment that can just 100% make psychosis go away. so, most likely, im still gonna have delusions, and, most likely, i will for the rest of my life, and possibly itll worsen with age. its not realistic to just think "the only real option here is to convince myself that my experiences are fake". what, like im smarter than my own brain? my brains not gonna let me think this isnt real. its making it up in the first place!! so yeah. whatever! it is real. so now i can focus on "whats the best course of action to take when i have (x) experience, while remembering that it cannot infringe upon other peoples reality?", and as it turns out theres a lot more i can do while working within the delusion. damn.

[squashwurmz]

ent. 3

today is monday, september 9, 2024. pretty boring day if you ask me.

things at home have been good, which is a relief. i am more relaxed and no longer dread the end of school.

at school is another story. i love my friends, trust me, but god i cant take it anymore. all they do is complain to me. i don't know what about me makes them want to, but it's all i hear and im so sick of it. i already have to try so hard to find joy in the daily things, and now you have go come shit on everything to ME. leave me alone!!! damn!!! of course they're always open to vent about stuff, but on a daily basis it's so exhausting and tires me out so much.

what hurts me even more is realizing they don't really give two shits about me. i know it's on me to communicate, but nobody ever takes me seriously. it's whatever.

i decided not to go to hoco this year since tickets are... wait for it... now $140!! are you yolking me rn. i could go to a concert for that kinda money. my friend from another school is going to come over and smoke while our other friends go. definetly feeling the fomo on that one, but i know we'll have a good time.

i began my first piece for my portfolio so yay!!! i have to refine my inquiry but i've been putting it off lololol. it's due wednesday soooo i gotta lock in. speaking of wednesday im going to some random concert with my other friend!! she's paying for my ticket since she just wants company and i have no idea who tf the artist is :P just hoping to have fun!!

oh and some other awkward news! im pretty sure a freshman in my 1st period is eyeing me which is kinda weird since im a junior. not into that! he's cool but like.. i believe in if the grades don't touch, you don't touch lmfaoaoa. just gonna distance myself :P

anyways, life has been pretty mediocre lately. a lot better than what was before! im trying to ween off my caffeine dependence so i'll keep you updated on that! also if you have any tips to pull AGE APPROPRIATE hoes pls lmk ;D i have never had a bf and am wondering what the hype is!! thanks, bye!!!!

[themonaproject]

Update!!! I repeat, this is not a drill..

Okay so... last night? yeah, last night. So remember I told you I had a crush? Yes, the Chinese boy. BOIIIIII last night was a doosey lmfaoooooooo i cant stop laughing i swear.

Okay so... timeline from when i met him up until last night

I happened to meet him in the lab that I have classes in here at the school. Two girls in my class were having a issue where they had bought something online and...it just so happened that it went to the collection place on the other side of the campus instead of to the one right outside our dorm. They had told one of our teachers about this, so she, the teacher, went to one of her students on the other side of campus and brought him, the boy, to show them where to go where the collection placed was concerned. Anyhow, when the teacher and him came to the lab, the girls had stepped out to the bathroom so the teacher told us to introduce ourselves to the boy and yadda yadda yadda so i, obviously taking an interest in him, started talking to him and asking him questions and such.

...sigh

So i happened to see his nails and that they were painted and i was like, in my mind, "ugh, i hate that i keep finding out that everyone is gay by their nails [and i will clarify this statement in another post lmaoooooo], is no one straight anymore, Jesus, all the hot guys are gay asf" but anyhoos.... At the time, his hair was all black and in the usual asian boy bowl cut, nerdy looking skinny guy right?.... So this was either in April or so.

CUT TO!!!!! the Tuesday, when my class went on a tour on this rainy ass day to pingjiang road. We were in and out of stores and I had seen something and made mention of my upcoming birthday right, so the 2 other girls in my class were like "your birthday?? omg" but i just told them i wont celebrate because it was deadlines time and we had class and so on so i wont be able to rlly enjoy it blah blah blah right

WE ENDED UP HAVING A MEETING ON THE THURSDAY before my birthday with the principal from my country, he came to hang out with us, the international students and invited us out to dinner with him and yadda yadda yadda. Now, I got there first and then the 2 girls came to the room and saw only me there so they ended up inviting me to the club. I would say the club is where my delusions began. Oh yes, definitely the club. We ended p going on he Saturday night to the private event and... when we got to the club, we met up with him and he took us inside. Now... he took us to our seats, played games with our table and, obviously because he's working, he was walking all over the club, making sure all was well, taking smoke breaks outside, hovering some more and yadda yadda. Now... *deep inhale* I hate that... everything happened and turned out the way it is today, but you know what they say, a crush is the result of a lack of information. When I saw him, he had his hair looking like something you would see on a model or pop idol, blonde to the from and rest of the hair black and shaped nicely and ladida... jewelry and all, he was looking fine 99. Now, he took us to the bathroom, obviously because we aint know nun bout the place. While we were in the bathroom, he waited for us to come out and i came out first and was just washing my hands, checking my makeup and yadda yadda, he came to me and sometimes, even tho im speaking english, my mandarin slips out and he almost leapt over the moon because he heard me speaking mandarin. He asked for my wechat and i gave him.

So now the party is happening, he came to check on us and asked me if i was having a good time.

...why just me tho? Was he just taking care of me because im foreign and in his work place? hmm. Anyway... while the night went on, i hadn't seen him for a lil bit so i messaged him to see where he was and he replied immediately.

...where i come from.. that is very green-flaggy. So obviously i liked that. A hot guy, texting back immediately? 10s across the board, right?

Okay, so he told me where he was... and then proceeded to ask me where we [me and the girls] were. Obviously i told him we were still at the table and dancing and blah blah blah. He even sent me a video of where he was...

...the delusions were being feddddddddd, hear what i say to youuu. lmaoooooo THE DELUSIONS WERE BEING FEDDDDDD!!!

Ok now soooo... cut to a few weeks after, exams for him were coming up, my exams were literally in the week right after my birthday. I ended up asking him to recommend some places to eat, right? Responding immediately, he offered a whole lot. I... <.< THE DELUSIONS ARE BEING FEDDDD he recommended so many lawdddd imma eat for the rest of my life clearly. I was grateful. Now, I liked him and so other ppl [my ppls] knew and was cheering for me and him obviously.

Now here is where he started to have me fked up lmaoooo I realised he would never text me first or interact with my posts on wechat. Now On WC, you can determine who can see your posts and who you can block your posts from and whose posts you dont wanna see and such like, right?

I had a thought that he couldnt see my stuff UNTIL i made a particular post about wanting to go outside but the rain was keeping me inside and i wanted it to stop. Now, I'm not a chicken head, when i see some shit, i stay peeping it, yk... so every time we spoke, i started the conversation.... he he did the bare minimum yk. He started our convo ONCE. And it was in the morning, he woke up hella early. 7:47 am. I'm lookin at the msgs rn because i wanna give facts. HE HADNT EVEN GOTTEN OUT OF HIS BED YET! He messaged me to ask if i wanna come to a party at the club. He never got back to me with the price or anything.... !? I was supposed to message him and beg for the price or something? Anyway, I had asked him if there was a event and he had to end up contacting the club to find out info. That... went south, we ended up doing a movie night instead at the dorm so.. that was a bust. Plus, he wasnt even gonna be at the club because he was visiting his family back in his hometown, so i had lost interest from the time he told me he woiuldnt be there. I was wondering if he wasnt keen on telling me because he didnt want me at the club WITHOUT him. idk... delusions were eating this idea upppp tho.

And this is the thing, our convos were always longgg and I realised we had alot in common and could be good friends, if not even in a relationship right? I realised, he was doing basically nada while I was making all the moves, starting convos first 99% of the time and reaching out first.

Now me messaging him about the club came after i had decided not to msg him or interact with his stuff until he put in work where I was concerned. Now atp I was starting to think yhhh this is a one-sided thing... there was so much going on in my head, i literally felt like screaming and couldnt even sleep. My mind was going insane bruh... over this man... AND HE WAS SLEEPING VERY GOOD AT NIGHT TOO YK!?

So now, last night... i mean there was so much he did that had me confused but if it's one thing i know for sure, I aint letting a man tell me more than once that he dont want me. that's fs. Cut to last night, now... I go on wechat moments to see the pics and videos from the graduation event that happened during the afternoon... and... I see that he had posted. So i opened the moments to see what he posted and... he posted a video of his hand grabbing different girls bo0bs in the club and I was--... i was shooketh-- I WAS SO SHOOK I LEAPT ACORSS MY BEDDDDDDDDDD i was too shocked bruh. I was literally like "SINCE WHEN DID THIS BECOME A WHORE HOUSE!!!" mans was on some hoe tactics bruh.... and it all started to make sense to me. he is a WHORE. I--...

Safe to say, that mf crush is done. Yeah, I might srtill think about him and stuff but idk if i still feel the same i felt before that video... He officially killed off my feelings for him bruh... idk wth is going on but I'm not a part of nun.

AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY to be telling me he wants to live a simple and quiet peaceful life... fkin liar. peaceful my ass.

I gone tho lmao

madness

[rat-rosemary]

Where is the proof dream didn't groom Amand as? I haven't been able to find much

Fuck, you got me in a bit of a bad spot with this one

Okay so, most of the stuff Amanda posted is long gone, and so are the posts debunking those things (like showing an image was edited by putting the saturation up, clearing out clashing story lines, comparing dates and texting styles etc)

The things I can still remember but Im not sure if I can find is one of Amanda's old classmates who showed their year book (after she had already put her full name online so they werent doxxing her) proving she was older then she said (I think they went by bee?) And one of Amanda's own TikToks, were she was scrolling trough like, the driest conversation ever with Dream that had no signs of anything she claimed.

What you can find easily now a days is Mascara's doc, where they go trough what happen to them and in it debunk a lot of what Amanda claimed

(You can find it here:

https://twitter.com/Mascarahhhh/status/1679238021814550528?s=20

As always, please be so mindful of the tw)

And some more things came out very recently, like last 24 hours recently that you can read about here

https://twitter.com/Timeluvsyouu/status/1687282479034494976?s=20

(WAIT FUCK THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE TW INGRAINED IN IT, SHIT, TW FOR SA)

I know that this is probably not what you wanted/expected but I really cant find the original stuff Amanda posted or the debunks, either because it has been so long or because it is legit just lost

Like, Felix dickrider (i know, its a name, but he was legitimately one of the people that cleared up most of the stuff during this) got his old account deleted, so even if I went looking for his twts where he cleared up the contrasting story lines Amanda told I wouldn't be able to find them

Sorry :[

[[[ANOTHER ANON SEND ME A THREAD THAT HAS A LOT OF EVIDENCE ON HERE

The thread is in Spanish, but most of the pictures are in English, so you can mostly understand what is being said :]

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Yknow smth ive realised is depression makes my imagination so much worse. Like, when i am well and good i can imagine things likeee. Real fuckin well. Sometimes theres bits that r difficult like 4 example if in a book i imagine a house 2 have a certain layout for like half the story but then that layout gets disproven by smth said like 30 chapters in or smth i find it difficult to just change how i imagine it. But usually i can picture things p fucking well and have a clear image of most things in my head (other than faces i cant do faces but thats unrelated). But when ive had worse days, that imagination sorta falters and picturing things gets more difficult. Ill lose track of podcasts n shit bc i spend ages dwelling on trying to imagine what smth looks like and oh look ive missed important dialogue stuff oopsies. But its not anything that actively stops me really things r just more difficult. Oh and also w art, when im all good i can usually daydream a lot and come up w random art ideas or story ideas. Whether i can then acrually DRAW them for realsies is an entirelt different story but thats got nothing 2 do w my ability to IMAGINE IT only good ol art being art. But yea the thing is when im doing a bit worse its usually a lot harder 2 come up w ideas and i instead will resort to making art of things ive already done or trying 2 do still lifes n shit that doesn't need my imagination. But then when shit gets REALLL bad. Like i can barely get out of bed bad. And also i literally am just waiting out every day bad. My imagination is just Gone. Like not even worse i just cant fucking imagine shit. And i remember for months i just. Didnt draw anything. When things were bad. But then when things got worse i started drawing again but with absolutelt 0 imagination. I just kept drawing the same things over and over and over. Bc my brain felt so dead and so focused on just whatever my depressed brain decided to focus on. That my imagination just fucking disappeared. Usually i like thinking of littke stories n shit yjnow 4 fun. But then during that time i just couldnt think of ANYTHING. everyone talks abt depression being stuck in ur own head but for me it wasnt like that. Its like. Being stuck so much outside of ur own head. But then also w the isolation i put myself thru i was also stuck outside the outside world. So i was just fucking stuck in my room and that was it. Literally everything was just my room. Bc my imagination was just fucking gone. Butttt when summer rolled around and i stopped being stuck in my pit, i could imagine things more. I havent done much more art but ive definitely done less vent art. Ive had more art ideas and ive started seeing colour palettes in plants again. I can vaguely picture things in descriptions now (altho its still veryyyy abstract sometimes bc i cannot focus 4 the life of me). And just like. I can fuckin imagine things again bc im not so incredibkt depressed. Andddd yea not so sure what the point of this post is supposed to be but yea. Imagination is like the basis of humanity and when things get Bad u cant do that shit anymore and it fucking sucks and yea.