#im also like... particularly bad at finding stuff

[rat-rosemary]

Where is the proof dream didn't groom Amand as? I haven't been able to find much

Fuck, you got me in a bit of a bad spot with this one

Okay so, most of the stuff Amanda posted is long gone, and so are the posts debunking those things (like showing an image was edited by putting the saturation up, clearing out clashing story lines, comparing dates and texting styles etc)

The things I can still remember but Im not sure if I can find is one of Amanda's old classmates who showed their year book (after she had already put her full name online so they werent doxxing her) proving she was older then she said (I think they went by bee?) And one of Amanda's own TikToks, were she was scrolling trough like, the driest conversation ever with Dream that had no signs of anything she claimed.

What you can find easily now a days is Mascara's doc, where they go trough what happen to them and in it debunk a lot of what Amanda claimed

(You can find it here:

https://twitter.com/Mascarahhhh/status/1679238021814550528?s=20

As always, please be so mindful of the tw)

And some more things came out very recently, like last 24 hours recently that you can read about here

https://twitter.com/Timeluvsyouu/status/1687282479034494976?s=20

(WAIT FUCK THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE TW INGRAINED IN IT, SHIT, TW FOR SA)

I know that this is probably not what you wanted/expected but I really cant find the original stuff Amanda posted or the debunks, either because it has been so long or because it is legit just lost

Like, Felix dickrider (i know, its a name, but he was legitimately one of the people that cleared up most of the stuff during this) got his old account deleted, so even if I went looking for his twts where he cleared up the contrasting story lines Amanda told I wouldn't be able to find them

Sorry :[

[[[ANOTHER ANON SEND ME A THREAD THAT HAS A LOT OF EVIDENCE ON HERE

The thread is in Spanish, but most of the pictures are in English, so you can mostly understand what is being said :]

[13eyond13]

.

[skrunksthatwunk]

1 and 17 for the ask game :]

1. hmmm i think akiyama tbh? i feel like people boil him down to shweepy lil malewife (and I'm guilty of this too) a little too often when he's literally a loan shark who makes desperate people jump through bizarre reality tv bullshit to get help from him, stuff that's kinda unnecessary when he's got scrooge mcduck money. it's literally his main shtick as the lifeline of kamurocho. i think he's fundamentally meritocratic and odd and also he was volunteered to kill a guy so kiryu didn't have to which is just. he's down to kill ok you random civilian you. and i think it should be explored more!! i don't think that i have a great grasp on his character but i feel like he's more sleazy and cold and weird and maybe even shallow than people make him out to be? let him be morally gray. if you love him love him anyway, those bits included, yeah?

17. i am SHOCKED there is not more haruka-centric content??? like stuff from her perspective, about her life, exploring her experiences and feelings, etc. she's a pretty important character and yeah she's like young and whatever but that's OUR girl y'know. she's our sweetie pie give her the spotlight. doesn't even have to be fluffy either go make her be angsty and/or evil idk. i think ppl wanna focus on kiryu in their interactions and i get that bc i love kiryu being a father stuff but she's a person too is all. also saejima is quite important and he's barely in short form content??? he gets more attention in fics but no one wants to draw him. are you scared of his big bald head???? well I'm not. should go draw him he's funny

[imavikingo]

Ok so... I like to buy figurines and plushies. I bought some stuff of Steve and Bucky years ago, but couldnt buy a lot of things of em before, because I relied on other people (local online shops) to get them. And Marvel wasnt that popular with the shops I knew.

The thing is... recently I have been able to buy stuff I like because Ive been buying by myself, secondhand for the most part (amiami sometimes has secondhand products, ebay and buyee are my go to places for this tho) and by chance I found someone that was apparently selling ALL their Hottoys, like a lot of them. And they had some of Steve I really wanted to own (The double Strike/Streets Clothes one in particular) and I bought them!!! I didnt pay for all of it because it was a partial gift (I paid for shipping/customs, but this is irrelevant).

And...

Just recently Hot Toys announced that they made a 2.0 of THAT particular figure (the Strike's outfit) and I was like "WHY THAT ONE? WHY NOT ANOTHER ONE?" "WHY, OH WHY???"

and idk, I think its kinda funny?

Ive been wanting that figure for almost 10 years and in the same year I can have it in my hands, they announce the 2.0 version... I feel like a clown kinda, lmao

They also teased a new 2.0 Winter Soldier figure (I actually want to buy that one :'> I can save for it if it also comes out in 2026)

[taintedtort]

" BOYFRIEND! "

summary. them as your boyfriend

characters. kenma, hinata, nishinoya, kyotani, akaashi

warnings. gn!reader, post!timeskip

a/n. some headcannons idk. did more characters bcus it’s just random stuff.

KENMA

☆ the type of boyfriend to shower you in gifts. he isn’t the best with words and physical touch doesn’t come easy to him, but he always knows what you like. (plus he’s rich)

☆ he plays close attention to you, always assessing your mood and your needs.

☆ lazy days at home > date night out

☆ likes when you watch him play. it makes him feel nice when you praise him after beating a particularly hard level.

☆ calls you a nickname/your name or the occasional "baby"

HINATA

☆ loves loves loves when you come to watch his games, he makes sure to try extra hard and show off even more than normal.

☆ he loves to hug you and hold your hand. i like to think he has warm hands, but downside is that they sweat easier when it’s hot outside.

☆ if he’s taller than you, he won’t shut up about it. if not, then that’s fine too!

☆ isn’t shy about PDA and gives you cheek kisses all the time.

☆ "i love you more"

☆ calls you "babe"

NISHINOYA

☆ travels with you everywhere, he loves seeing the world with his true love!!!

☆ his camera roll is literally just filled with you.

☆ lowkey i think he’s good at photography. takes the best instagram photos.

☆ arm around your waist 24/7.

☆ matching necklaces and or bracelets.

☆ calls you something stupid sometimes like "pookie" but would ACTUALLY call you "baby" on a regular basis.

☆ specifically for girls, i might go a step further and say he’d call you "mamas" lol

KYOTANI

(im obsessed with him lately)

☆ not sure if he’d be into much PDA, but if someone’s flirting with you i think he’s definitely the type of guy to put his arm around you and send death glares.

☆ you’re not safe from his scowling and gruff remarks, but he’s a bit more behaved around you. just a bit.

☆ his touches are a bit rough; he holds your hand a little too firmly, hugs you a little too tight, and kisses you a little too fiercely. he’s passionate and aggressive at heart, that doesn’t change around you.

☆ sucks at giving gifts. the present itself isn’t bad, it’s just the way he gave it to you. either just leaves it out for you to find, or practically throws it at you totally unwrapped or anything.

☆ he doesn’t talk about you often, and his teammates only find out you’re together when they see his lockscreen of you.

☆ loves waking up next to you and grumbles when you have to get up.

☆ calls you "dumbass" and things like that ngl. maybe an occasional "hon" ?

AKAASHI

☆ you guys are regulars at a diner/cafe. don’t ask me why, i just get that vibe with him.

☆ holds your hand all the time.

☆ secretly likes when you steal and try on his glasses, even if he sighs and shakes his head at you. he thinks you look cute squinting through the glasses at him.

☆ forehead kisses. doesn’t matter where or when, you’re getting one.

☆ touches your hair a lot. either brushes it out of your face or just plays with it when you’re both relaxing.

☆ really uplifting of your accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

☆ likes watching you cook, and also helping you cook. but he‘ll do the dishes, of course.

☆ calls you "love" and "sweetheart"

[dwaekkicidal]

Hey! Idk if anyone has asked this before, but can you write skz with big chested!fem reader? I absolutely love your work!!

ok so i have a request in the works including big tiddy gf with Han so you can read that for a fic blatantly including it lol (it should be out in a few days) but for now I'll write you little drabble about them :3 this is super self indulgent so thank you 😼& i'm happy you enjoy my stuff :') <3

OT8 x Big Chested fem!Reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: ~700

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader with big boobies: no other body type is described, suggestive but also like 1 mention of nsfw

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

Certified Titty Sucker(s)™

the ones you can shut up by literally flashing him. but its only gonna make him drop to his knees in front of you so he can beg you to let him touch ("Let me at 'em" -Han)

the picture i had in mind was one of them (hyunjin specifically lol) just like laying on top of you with a nipple in his mouth and his other hand grabbing as much of the other boob as he can. maybe he's just come home after a long day and needs the comfort of his titties in his mouth. or maybe he's still inside of you, cockwarming after you both came, and he's calming himself down by mindlessly sucking one of your nipples

Hyunjin & Han (honorable mentions: Chris and Lix)

Biggest Babies

probably the kind to casually lay on them like theyre pillows the most out of all the boys. i could see him coming home from having a bad day and asking you to cuddle with him, so he lays you flat on your back and rests his cheek against your boobs as he looks up at you and rants about his day.

The ones who will literally pout and get teary-eyed if you ban them from your boobs for any amount of time. Maybe they marked you up when you told them not to or they just did something to make you mad so you put them in "Boob Time Out." The one's the most hurt about it and will cry and beg and grovel for you to take it back.

Hyunjin, Seungmin, Han, Changbin

Handsy Ones

would be the type to casually grope you randomly throughout the day. i specifically picture these guys as being the type of boyfriend who will sit on the bed while you get changed nearby, and the second your shirt and/or bra is off he just drags you close to him and shoves his face between your boobs. not like sexually per se but its so warm and he finds so much comfort in squishing his face between them. makes you literally fight to get him off you could try to put the new shirt on over his head to make him get off and he probably wouldnt budge 😭 he just sits there even more comfortable because now he's covered like a blanket LMFAO

Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin (honorable mention: Minho)

"No Shame"

the type who, if he's angry or jealous enough, will grope you in broad daylight. he wont do it for everybody's eyes but will specifically make sure the person that offended him can see it but nobody else can.

also very blatantly gropes you in front of the other members. for some (cough Jeongin cough) its an ego thing, but for the others its just the confidence that they feel because they know they're allowed and they just do not care that the others are 2 feet away

Han & Jeongin, Minho

Casual Enjoyers

these guys love your boobs to death (maybe not as much as Han) but they love them rather quietly. they dont outright tell you how much they love them and, if you aren't paying close enough attention, their love for them will go unnoticed

the ones who consciously care the most about your boobs' health. im not saying the others dont, but these guys will show their love for them by caring about their health specifically. they make sure you get the highest quality bras and does research for + buys you any oils that will give him an excuse are good for massages so on particularly achy days, you don't have to worry much about it.

also very easy to notice how much they love them when they drool and stare holes into them when you wear revealing clothes

Chris, Minho, Lix

[punkitt-is-here]

Read These Frequently Asked Questions Before You Send An Ask!

Patreon | Ko-Fi | Youtube

IF YOU ARE A FUNDRAISER PLEASE BE AWARE I AM ALREADY HELPING WITH CAMPAIGNS AND CANNOT REASONABLY HANDLE ANY MORE. PLEASE DO NOT EXPECT A RESPONSE. MY APOLOGIES!

Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.

Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.

Did you know you look like weird al?

YES jesus fucking christ i get told this every day. if u send me a message in my inbox saying i look like weird al im killing you with like wizard spells and shit.

Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?

ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.

Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?

Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.

Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?

I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)

What do you use for your art?

I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!

What are you using to make your games?

I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!

Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?

It's fun!

Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?

Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard

Can I make an OC based on your work?

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!

Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics?

As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!

Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?

Can I use your art as a PFP?

Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D

Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]

Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?

Yep! That's me.

Where are you in MLP right now?

Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.

Have you watched Equestria Girls?

Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.

What's your opinion on MLP so far?

I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.

What do you think of G5?

Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!

Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?

Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.

Favorite pony?

Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!

Favorite episode/season?

I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.

Do you like Pony.mov?

Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!

Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?

Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!

What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?

I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.

Are you transgender?

Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!

Are you a lesbian?

Nah, I'm bisexual!

Can I commission you?

Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.

Can I use your art as a Discord emote?

Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.

Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?

I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!

Favorite Color?

I'm a sucker for blue!

Favorite coffee?

Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.

Favorite tea?

I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.

Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?

Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.

What's your favorite game series?

Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.

Favorite game from those?

Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.

Any other favs?

Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!

Favorite Movie?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.

Oh, are you going to college?

Yep! I'm a film/theater major.

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.

What is that little orange creature I see?

That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.

Do you have a ponysona?

Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.

When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?

No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.

How do you work on so many things at once?

I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.

Did you know you look like Weird Al?

Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out

WHY do you work on so many things at once?

Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)

Do you need any help with your projects?

Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.

If you could be a horse, would you?

You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.

Are you some sort of...furry?

yeag

Why do you reblog so much?

Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.

Fav music artists?

It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.

Why are you like this?

theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo

SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS

Is it out?

Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)

What are you using to make it?

SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.

Is there a demo?

You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.

How do I install it?

I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!

[halfway-house-in-hell]

angel dust redesign🕷️

(click for better quality)

and since theyre the first sinner ive posted, they get a human design!

rambling under the cut

(if my handwriting in the second image is unreadable you can check the id)

-angel dust was a sinner that died in 1948. they were a member of a large mafia family and led a secret life as a drag queen

-they were born into the family, and were unable to leave bc. you know. life of crime

-much of their family looked down on them and mocked them bc of their feminine mannerisms

-they had a particularly bad relationship with their father, who saw them as a failure of a son

-so they turned to drag and underground queer clubs instead (angel dust was their drag name that they adopted full time after dying, anthony was their "real" name)

-they also turned to cocaine, often stealing from their family's stash

-their death happened because they were lousy hiding the tracks of their theft- the family got a tip off that angel had been stealing and that they were currently in an aforementioned queer club

-mafia family storms the queer club, angel comes out off their head on cocaine, their father finds then and shoots them in the chest before slamming their head against the wall repeatedly, killing them

-their and all of their family's (except their sister) demon forms are spiders, symbolising the web of lies they spun😎 because angel died in drag they also have a much more feminine demon form

-they enjoyed life in hell for a while, but soon enough other members of their family started dying and began looking for them. this caused them to flee to the nearest hiding space they had, a place called Valentino's that promised a safe haven against any threats

-as we know this promise is absolute bullshit

-angel signed the contract that allowed them entry to valentino's. they were panicked and signed it hastily, not looking at the fine print.

-they become trapped at valentino's, forced to be a prostitute

-until valentino himself visits and likes the look of angel, deciding that he wants angel for himself

-he takes on angel as a prostitute/porn star/stripper/whatever valentino wants them to be today, with valentino abusing them behind the scenes

-valentino lovebombs them often, buying them expensive gifts they are required to wear and feeding their drug habit

-despite being famous, most of the money angel makes goes straight into valentinos pocket. this is what leads them to finding charlie's hotel, as they do not have enough money to pay rent and the happy hotel offers free accommodation.

-angel's best friend is cherry bomb, an anarchist who wants nothing more than to free them- but she has no money, no connections and is banned from most places on sight due to her habit of blowing stuff up. when angel dust gets sad and mopey, she gets angry for them

-angel uses they/them, but hell isnt the most progressive place, so few demons use it for them. they dont really care though, they have bigger things to worry about

-they actually physically cannot harm valentino, as part of their contract states that any harm valentino goes through also happens to them

-they like to keep up with the latest trends, and have a decent sinstagram following

-they are hypersexual due to trauma

-i think thats it. if i forgot smth im gonna be so mad

oki thanks for reading :33

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[catgirlstalin]

Hi! I hope it's okay to ask this but would you happen to know any books on Stalin that don't repeat the same old stuff about him being a bloodthirsty dictator etc.? I wish to learn from more nuanced and anti-anticommunist sources since I'm learning about communism and ussr rn, and you seem to be someone who might know about these! Thanks if you're able to answer!

hii of course im happy to recommend stuff :3 mutuals feels free to add stuff as well

Another View of Stalin. Ludo Martens (1994) – one of my go to recommendations, it goes into the most commonly brought up issues such as collectivization, the great purge, and the molotov-ribbentrop pact

Stalin: History and Critique of a Black Legend. Dominico Losurdo (2008) – another go to; in addition to addressing historical facts and myths, this one also criticizes the concept of 'totalitarianism', and the resulting conflation of fascism with communism as equally bad (something that is still done to this day, see 'horseshoe theory')

those two i would say are the most prominent books specifically about him, and for good reason as they cover the most important myths about stalin

another author ive had recommended to me who has multiple books about stalin and the ussr is grover furr, but i havent read any of his works yet

also while this one isnt specifically about stalin as a person, i also wanna throw in The Soviets Expected it by Anna Louise Strong. It was published in 1942 and covers the years leading up to and including the second world war. its not really an analysis, as anna louise strong was not a historian, but a reporter who lived in the ussr at the time and she reported a lot on the living conditions and experiences of the people which provides a really interesting view into the 1930s and early 1940s in the ussr. its also a rather short and easy read

then theres of course also first hand accounts from people who knew him, like Molotov Remembers (done in a sort of interview style, the author is anti-stalin but molotovs accounts are interesting nonetheless), or Next to Stalin: Notes of a Bodyguard (also very short, not particularly well written but interesting and at times also entertaining)

also in my opinion one thing that also provides some insight into how stalin was and how he thought is just to read his own works. theres a whole collection on marxists.org

i find his interviews fairly interesting to get a bit of insight into his thinking, and theyre very short and easy to read

Interview with H.G. Wells Interview with Emil Ludwig Interview with Roy Howard

i hope some of this will be interesting to you!! have fun with your reading, theres a lot to learn and discover out there

[unreliable-narrator-2845]

massive info dump abt an au im working on below ( +art)

some doodles from an au im working on w/ some friends... it's kind of a riff off of both the portal swap au and mr bill pines au... essentially, the brothers are swapped from the beginning - stanley is seen as the smart, successful one, and ford a bit of an outcast black sheep of the family, seen as bad luck because of his extra fingers. stanley is the good, normal one, the one with all the people skills, and ford is the 'brute' slacker, and seen as far more stupid than he really is. stanley is the one who invented the perpetual motion machine - and ford destroys it on purpose out of frustration and jealousy, and is the one that gets kicked out.

ford goes down the path of crime, like stan did, but he's a little more, uh... intense about it. he can't go off of people skills, he's gotta bring actual stuff to the table, so he travels to weirdness pockets (smaller than gravity falls) and basically turns the whole criminal underground on its head by his uncanny ability to harness this stuff. people do not like him, but he's VERY useful, so he gets to live in constant fear of whether people doing deals with him are going to leave him alone after or kill him after, since he can't tell which is which.

unlike stanley, who i think would absolutely hesitate to actually do severe physical violence (past beating people up) even while during his homeless years, i think ford wouldn't hesitate as much. ford has absolutely killed people. he will kill again.

how i see it going down is that bill, doing his usual dealings and such, has one of his hosts killed by ford while he's in it after ford witnesses a crime. he goes "haha! oh shit! a witness!" and then gets his neck fucking snapped the moment he advances on him. bill is Not Particularly Pleased, until he actually gets into ford's dreams, and is... impressed.

i am a simp for bill being a simp - in this au bill doesn't bother manipulating him, he wants this rugged badass to be his husband NOW. when they make a deal, ford writes a paper contract that they regularly update. bill and ford have a very mutual deal, to say the least, and they get married - and ford is the one to take his last name, since he cut contact with the family who kicked him out, so he's mr. stanford cipher (which i think is a good au name?). stanley is the one w/ the middle name filbrick in this au btw.

behind the eye scar: ford got into some shit with the cartel. this happens after his and bill's marriage, but what bill can do is limited w/o being physically present, so he has to watch in horror as they torture ford as he tries to find a way to get his husband out. this is the inciting incident that makes him particularly antsy about getting a portal up and going.

meanwhile stanley in gravity falls comes across an interesting cave...

trivia:

bill could minorly heal the eye, but only so much. the eye is now permanently bill's, or at least in his coloration. ford keeps it closed, but it opens fully when bill is fully possessing him. their contract details that bill can come and go only with ford's explicit permission. they often have a half-possession going, where bill can enhance ford and take only mild control, if any at all.

ford has 4 depictions of bill across his body, all tats. he has lots of vague triangle tattoos also, and the portal shape on his back. bill is fond of possessing the depiction on his throat, which he can move around as he pleases

bill's priorities during the initial writing of the contract were extremely funny. ford was trying to figure out the exact details of mind access, body access, etc, and bill was just gushing about "WE NEED RINGS!!!" and "i get to take you on 4 dates before i propose hehe"

stanley went to BMU and was dormmates w/ fiddleford. they are covertly (not legally) married (because 1980s) and went to gravity falls together. stanley and ford both have an interest in cryptozoology in this. ford avoids gravity falls like the plague because he knows stanley would probably be there

^^ addition to the above: stanley's full name is Stanley Filbrick Pines-McGucket, though he is only Pines-McGucket informally

stanley also still has his mullet. sue me. also he has glasses because he needs them and he's a nerdy science guy in this one

i really enjoy the pre-portal 1980s part of the timeline. can you tell. there's so much potential here. i am frothing at the mouth.

anyways............................................. more content soon. repurposed an old empty sideblog to maybe dedicate to this au/gf content. we shall see.

[brucewaynehater101]

I miss the feeling I had when I first joined this fandom, I knew virtually nothing so everything was correct and I loved everything, even if that stuff just isn’t true, i was like

Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated but loves his kids? Hell yeah sounds legit

dick is a silly happy flippy man who is a bit promiscuous? Love that for him

Jason is a mega feminist literature nerd who is also buff and takes care of the street kids? Perfect man honest

Tim is a nerd who never sleeps and is queer and has never known the touch of a man nor woman? Sweet

Steph is waffle obsessed goofball? Well I prefer pancakes but right on

Cass is a mute badass who loves her fam? I love her

Duke is a normal dude? Well someone has to be and he seems neat

Alfred can do no wrong? Aight, I love old perfect tea men

Damian is a little prick? So are all middle schoolers give him time

But then I had to go learn about the characters and now I have complex opinions about them, and can see the inherent racism and sexism in how they are portrayed

You know before I joined the bat fandom I did not use the exclude tag in ao3? Like tmnt and dp have some bad stuff but usually I could just scroll past.

but now I am having to avoid fics where whole ass adults are bullying and/or oversexulizing a child

Im constantly on the look out for untagged batcwst

I struggle to find fics that don’t describe dicks ass

I have been in this fandom for probably about two years now and y’all I swear

sorry for ranting, and don’t worry I love all your stuff and I know the just back click don’t leave mean comments rule

I’m just tried bc most of the stuff I thought was true turned out to be false

Mm. I do find it a little exhausting trying to navigate the lines of what's canon, what shouldn't be canon (but is due to racism/sexism/homophobia/etc.), and just having fun.

I'm also trying to cultivate the mindset of what I've seen on Tumblr about not policing other people's ships/ideas. I am highly uncomfortable with some (particularly underaged people and adults dating), but I'm also not leaving hate comments. Like you said, the backspace exists for a reason.

Idk. There's a toooon of takes/ideas about the batfam that are inherently false, but as long as they aren't racist/sexist/etc takes, I don't see the harm in them. So what if someone wants a coffee obsessed Tim? So what if Jason's kill code is very strict? As long as they don't claim it's canon, let them be

But yeah. I have a mile long exclude list for fics on AO3. I used to use it only for triggers (I can not do stockhold syndrome, my lords), but now it's got other weird ass shit I've stumbled upon (I saw a fic where the batkids were spanked as punishment??? Like I said, not gonna leave hate comments or single anyone out. Just not my cup of tea).

I also am usually not a fan of romance/sex. It's why the batfam intrigued me so much (found families usually don't have that in it). I like exploring dynamics outside of romance and thus love the batfam. They've got so much going on that romance/sex is not needed. They are such a mess without that dynamic being added (talking about the Bats getting with a third party, but, again, trying not to yuck anyone's yum).

However, I agree. There's a ton of misinformation within fandom. I like how complex canon gets with the characters, but there's also widely different takes with them (mostly talking about Bruce here. He can either be trying or just a straight up horrible dad).

[autisticaradiamegido]

Is Aradia touch averse autistic or sensory seeking autistic?

hmmmm thats a good question! i think she’s probably like most folks where it sort of depends on the context, but largely i imagine her as sensory-seeking and not especially touch-averse, ESPECIALLY after her god tier resurrection.

i’ve done a doodle about this before i think, but i imagine being a ghost and then also a robot as being very sensory-deprived ways to exist. and while i think she would get used to that, and maybe even find the sensory experience of being alive again a little overwhelming at times (particularly sensory inputs that are out of her control,) i think largely she would be leaning even harder into sensory-seeking tendencies once she got back.

like imagine you spend months or even years not having nerve endings. your own personal sensory deprivation chamber for goddamn ever. and then suddenly you can run your hands over a really soft blanket again! you can ride a rollercoaster! you can step on a crunchy leaf!!

basically once she god tiers i think she would be even more invested in experiencing Fun sensory stuff and even more averse to the bad sensory stuff.

i think touch-aversion probably only comes into play for her if it’s unexpected. like if shes initiating or shes been given warning shes gonna be down for a hug no question. but if someone just hugs her without clearly projecting it beforehand, even if its someone she’s otherwise very comfortable with, she is probably squirming a little.

thats just my hc tho im not basing this on anything except vibes lol

[m3gal3sbian]

ok adding to my tdwt alenoah ex situationship au

so, it all starts when noah meets alejandro during his run on total drama dirtbags. noah is still an assistant and alejandro is just like The Worst, but he's kinda nice to noah and noah is like. weird but ok.

alejandro chats him up before and during filming, noah just tries to be polite before he actually finds himself really enjoying talking to him.

they start hanging out a lot more, off set, on set, they share looks in the middle of filming when alejandro is on camera and makes a particularly fun joke or when another cast member says something stupid.

it's still the middle of filming, albeit neither of them are on camera, when they sneak off to a beach off set and share their first kiss.

it's like super uber romantic and noah is like omg. okay. work. lets try and be normal about this.

alejandro however is like internally freaking the fuck out. mans is like holyyyy yfuckckckkk i ruined everything even though everything is literally fine. but he's dealing with some shit so he's just a mess despite how much he actually likes this guy.

so they keep sneaking off together and making out n stuff but alejandro starts acting super weird. noah notices that he's starting to treat him kinda like everyone else and is closing himself off, so he obviously has to talk to him about it.

it goes horribly. the last day on set, noah confronts alejandro about it and alejandro doesnt rlly know what to say so he's like uhhhh i didnt like you that much anyway/you were clingy/we arent even dating, and noah is like FUCK this guy im leaving. and they both go their separate ways thinking they'll never see each other again.

too bad, chris mclean says, as he offers noah a shit ton of money to join total drama world tour.

and, obviously, noah is in no position to refuse the money, especially with his younger sisters needing to go to college not to mention the work chris put in negotiating his pay.

noah already knows who is finalized for the cast, now including himself.

so, he finds himself in a position where he not only has to deal with his ex situationship on a daily basis, but he has to work with him on the SAME TEAM.

alejandro doesn't know that noah was on season one, much less he's joining world tour, so he see's noah on the bus and is like FUCKKKKK!!!! literally he's like oh my god the love of my life i fucked up so bad i need him back RIGHT NOW

so he makes it his mission to win back noah, but he's still playing the game, so it's like a disaster of alejandro trying to play the game and play people but also trying to be honest with noah and get him to trust him again.

and noah doesn't really know what to believe, plus, he's still super mad. so he kinda just watches alejandro be stupid and then makes fun of him while his heart is beating super fast bc he likes that dork so much.

basically they're just disaster gays and are STUPID!!!

[blackberrybuds]

Hi! Genuine question, could you explain what crohns is? I saw from your blog that Kamimura apparently has it and he's my favorite so I was hoping you could explain it and how it affects him. Thank you! /nf -🎱

YES anon i absolutely can i LOVE getting disability asks

okay so crohns disease is an inflammatory disorder that affects your digestive tract. its super super crazy painful and comes with like a billion symptoms but to keep things simple: the main things are stuff like severe diarrhea, fevers, severe fatigue, and weight loss/malnutrition stemming from those. having crohns makes it really hard for your body to absorb nutrients so its normal for people with crohns to be really exhausted and underweight, which like.......

erm yeah this guy is pretty small. look at those legs. he weighs nothing.

with that in mind lets get into HOW IT AFFECTS KAMIMURA SPECIFICALLY!!!

as we know, kamimura's blood doesnt clot. that makes crohns especially dangerous for him, because there can often be a lot of bleeding involved in crohns. if crohns inflammation gets particularly rough, there can be quite a bit of blood passed, which is obviously bad for him so i hope hes TAKING SOMETHING. there can also be a lot of issues with ulcers or fissures that bleed as well, so im not surprised kamimura has anxiety problems, because he basically has to be constantly on edge about this kind of stuff.

one of the classic wonderful fun things about crohns is episodes of very sudden, very urgent need to use the washroom. like, within the minute. non-negotiable. very fun!! especially fun when you are kamimura kazutoshi and you get a decision game punishment that bans you from the dormitories and all the bathrooms are locked at night!! its no surprise that he made a comment about all the motives feeling like they're specifically meant to target him, because this one was particularly harsh for him. this is actually why i headcanoned him as a diaper user in my other post because god i fking hope he is if he had to be locked out of the bathroom for like nine hours a night. diapers/incontinence products in general are fairly common for crohns users so i wanna think he is not SO stubborn that he would refuse to wear them but........i mean youve seen how he is. also considering he has cataplexy episodes that cause him to lose all muscle tone i would HOPE he has something on in case of emergencies

i think we sort of see kamimura's first in-game flare up (crohns episode) way back in chapter one, when he's acting really sick in the morning and ends up hiding out in his room during breakfast and cant really get out of bed and just wants to be alone. crohns is genuinely so painful and uncomfortable and for someone like kamimura who is very private it would probably be pretty embarrassing to be flaring up in a group of strangers so it makes sense that he'd just wanna fuck off and hide out in his room for a while and hopefully ride it out. we also find out in the second investigation that he gets up really frequently during the night, which is another thing thats common if youve got crohns because unfortunately your bathroom needs do not care abt your sleep needs. hooray.

we are all rooting for this little diseased freak!!!!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 12/3/2024

no tuesdaypost next week! some real martha stewart homemaking ass activities going on rn tho

listening

extremely rare musical fallow week, mostly bc i have not felt well enough to drive places or walk around my apartment complex. i have mostly been relistening to old Well There's Your Problem episodes, a podcast about engineering disasters (with slides).

of course this would fuckin happen in jersey

-

reading

im having a brain time related to an unpleasant anniversary and have been churning through my stacks of weird little paperbacks. i am in the bad habit of picking up cheap interesting-looking older scifi and fantasy and then not touching them for years on end. the trouble with loving scifi and fantasy as a genre is that most of it is not very good. u gotta wade through a lot of chaff to find one thing that sort of delivers on its premise.

unrelated to all of that, ive had a little stack of cold war and wwii spy paperbacks sitting around since i bought them in high school. these have been with me through So many moves. unfortunately i have only enjoyed one of them, Peter O'Donnell's Modesty Blaise novel I, Lucifer.

i did not know anything about ms. blaise before reading this sixties spy/thriller but it was catnip to me. it has not aged particularly well, but the stuff per chapter is very high. lots of the latest and greatest sixties Cool Stuff- amateur parachuting competitions, trained dolphins, paranormal and ESP cognitive tests, impersonating american tourists for fun and profit, packets of industrial diamonds. a genuinely fun and inventive ransom method. evil marionettes? the next time i am in a real used bookstore and not a half price books i will look for more of these little fuckers.

modesty is so much fun. she gets to sleep around and be her own boss and have fun but also have her own moral code. peter o’donnell is good at writing a fight scene, and good at setting up and paying off much later but unfortunately he is still subject to the social mores and orientalism of his time.

“I’m going to try and make the black couch a thing,” Gifford says as she arranges a selection of pumpkin decorations in her living room. “Hopefully that becomes identifiable as my couch.” It’s a sentence that would sound absurd on its own, but this is the minutiae that can preoccupy the minds of influencers — especially if they live in a constant state of unease, worrying someone else will copy their life. The fierce competition of this industry means you can’t be normal about your living room furniture.

“I’m going to try and make the black couch a thing,” Gifford says as she arranges a selection of pumpkin decorations in her living room. “Hopefully that becomes identifiable as my couch.” It’s a sentence that would sound absurd on its own, but this is the minutiae that can preoccupy the minds of influencers — especially if they live in a constant state of unease, worrying someone else will copy their life. The fierce competition of this industry means you can’t be normal about your living room furniture.

i think this was a longreads suggestion from the new tabs suggested articles on firefox?

-

watching

racked up eighteen things on letterboxd this week, mostly bc kanopy had a collection of thirteen betty boop shorts. the one that tickled my fancy the most was Bimbo's Initiation (1931). six and a half surreal and horny minutes about secret society and fraternity initiations. the ass slapping machine was a real thing you could buy specifically marketed toward initiations like this.

-

playing

bc i have nothing but time on my hands i compared a list of my hidden achievements in genshin impact with a list of known hidden achievements and have been knocking them off. some of them were embarrassingly easy and i do not know how i missed them. i do have a fat stack of commission-related hidden achievements (somehow the only nation whose commission-related hidden achievements i have completely finished is the new nation. i have been playing this game for almost five years since 1.0. augh). there are a ton of co-op achievements that i don't think i'm ever going to rack up bc i don't generally play co-op but like. that's fine. there are 1428 known achievements so i think 1273 is pretty fuckin good.

-

making

sometimes i have a problem: loose threads, hang tags, etc on clothes bother the fuck out of me but i don't do anything about it bc i can never find scissors and if the kitchen scissors leave the kitchen i will never ever remember to put them back in the kitchen. the solution is getting rid of the friction involved with finding scissors and remembering to put loose threads in the garbage where my cats can't eat them and remembering to put the scissors away. too many steps! too much friction! i have reappropriated a little garbage can from my office to the laundry room and added scissors on a command hook. this will also help stop lint from piling up on top of the dryer. the second set of scissors is inside my closet, where i have command stripped up a pretty tea tin for a tiny garbage basket.

another extremely annoying thing/minor problem: i've had to wash my couch covers a lot lately. this is fine. they are designed to go through hell. however, bc i made them myself from giant dropcloths and just kind of tuck them in, it is hard to tell what the correct placement is on the couch.

there are vanishingly few practical applications for embroidery. i initially stem stitched the SHORT and chain stitched the LONG and then hated how the stem stitch looked a little messier, so i ripped it out and redid it. front & back below, there are dabs of fraychek on the knots to help them survive the wash a bit better.

i'll do the other futon cover too eventually but the couch cover has needed more frequent washing lately and was a little more of a priority. these were all extremely minor things that felt very silly to do but they did solve minor annoyances. yay.