#im only like a quarter asian

[theflashjaygarrick]

One thing that is important to me when discussing Cassandra Cain is the fact that she didn't develop her anti-killing moral position because of the bats. Neither does she have her moral code because she's Bruce's obedient golden child. Instead she decided at around age 8 that killing anyone (even some random criminal like in the 2000 batgirl series) was fundamentally wrong because it made them feel fear and pain. Finding out the bat-code had a similar perspective about killing was more validation than anything else. She would be saving everyone she could with or without batman.

She created her own moral framework against that her (in the 2000 series at least) white father. In spite of the fact the fact that her father literally objectified and dehumanised her, she fought to speak and be heard. She chose her own destiny, Babs and Bruce just helped her along the way.

As an Asian character it's important to me she wasn't 'taught' morals by white Americans, but rather she has a code that she developed herself. She doesn't listen to Bruce half the time, and she's more loyal to the concept of the bat symbol than anyone who wears it. She consistently disobeyed him in her original run. All these things aspects help her avoid being just a character with white saviour undertones, and allow her to instead be a heroic beacon of life and compassion in her own right.

[pidgefudge]

what if i just. stop doing things

[unityrain24]

ghhh... got lost under mexican cooking tutorials...

[ferigrievous]

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI HCS ⋆˚࿔

says good morning at any time of day and sees nothing wrong with it

the kind of guy who pees with the bathroom lights off and door wide open.

completely unfazed by horror movies, but jumps a little when the toaster is finished

autistic. got diagnosed when he was like four and he thinks it doesnt affect his life but everyone else knows otherwise.

a quarter south east asian on his moms side, but he doesnt know where because they barely talk.

doesnt know how to pose for photos, even post timeskip, and stopped smiling in them for a while because a fan called it scary

doesnt understand sarcasm, and finds it odd that people think he’s being sarcastic often. he speaks the way he wants to be understood, and hates it when people find ulterior meanings

has a little bit of an ego, but its lowkey justified. people talk about him like he's the reincarnation of jesus, so its only natural he thinks that he's better than the average person. doesnt act like it on purpose though.

driest texter in the world like actually. dont even bother texting him at all.

never asks for help when he should, and is stubborn enough to go at it until it works

became self aware in his thirties but didnt end up changing because he doesnt feel the need to explain himself. the people he cares about understand him, and thats enough for him

has had the same breakfast every day for years. only thing he changes is the drink.

probably very particular about the way he does certain things, but not in a way that makes sense to other people, and will not explain it to anyone.

biggest pet peeve is wasting time

has absolutely no awareness of pop culture. he literally reads the ads on magazines this man does not know who beyonce is.

doesnt own anything he doesnt need to own, so his place post timeskip literally looks like he just moved in yesterday

but he also keeps everything anyone has ever given him, and is basically the only decoration

doesnt think of it as sentimentality, more of ‘if i throw this away im disrespecting the person who gave it to me

he doesnt even have a TV, and didnt have a dishwasher until he turned thirty 

very practical dresser. doesnt own anything just for ‘fashion’. very function over form

actually reads instruction manuals back to front

genuinely honest to god could not care about social norms. not even in a rebellious way, but in a ‘why would i put in that much effort to be misunderstood anyway’ way

never rewatches shows or movies. doesnt get the concept of it.

a very good listener, but only offers logical solutions

doesnt believe in luck.

never loses his temper, just gets really quiet and cold because he doesnt want to say something he doesnt mean.

always drives the exact speed limit. no more, no less, and if someone brings it up while riding with him, he’ll give them the nastiest side eye unintentionally

once won a raffle and tried to give the prize back because ‘someone else might need it more’

doesn’t correct people when they misunderstand him. they’ll figure it out or they won’t

has never once left a voicemail. if they don’t pick up, he just hangs up

when he’s done talking to someone, he just stops responding

actually a really good cook but eats like three meals because he just doesnt have time

has never once in his life misplaced a sock,

always remembers exactly where he parked, no matter which exit he comes out from

people assume he’s no fun, but he just has very specific definitions of fun

[ req ; @deardoelle ]

[yuurei20]

Hello! So I have a question, I wanted to ask if we know if in NRC it goes by three terms or four? As Im only familiar with schools using four terms but I heard that japan only uses three lol

I also wanted to know if we had estimated dates for all term finals?

Hello hello! Thank you for this question!

NRC might follow a four-term (or "quarter") system! ^^

Crowley explains that the internships for 4th-year students begin in September (the same time as school begins for all students) and last three months each. While he does not explicitly say "this is the same schedule we follow at the school because NRC is a four-quarter system," it is possible! ^^

Elementary school to high school is often three terms in Japan, but the school system in Twst is being pointedly described as different from Japan's systems! (ref: The prefect and culture shock)

The novel can be very different from the game, but looking at the main story the only time final exams have ever been mentioned might only be in Book 3, which is typically assumed to take place sometime from November to December (unlike other arcs like Book 2 and Book 5, we are not given any specific month for when Book 3 is taking place). Ref: A timeline for the main game?

The "final exams" that have been mentioned in the game take place directly before winter holidays, which we know end just after new year, so it seems to be the conclusion of the first semester of September to December!

Also in the game we have the characters referring to schooling such as elementary school, middle school and high school in English rather than Japanese, possibly insinuating that Twst's school system has been based on overseas systems rather than Japan's own?

Ref: Does Twst follow Western or Asian school system?

We also have references to things like quizzes, test days, practical magic exams throughout various vignettes! The exact timing of these are, however, not specified :>

As of Book 7 is has been "half a year" since the school year began with no mention of final exams since Book 3, so perhaps the next final-exam-period has yet to come? :>

[afterthelambs]

Some people in the haikyuu fandom think the JNT only plays together on olympic years, when in reality there's annual tournaments like the VNL and world championships and even the asian games for a quarter of every year, so basically what Im saying is that the haikyuu dudes would absolutely spend all their time together and be besties for life

[bigwishes]

im a skinny Asian guy and i would like to be a big hairless jock,can you grant me my wish Mr genie?

A big hairless asian jock? simple and easy wish to grant it'll be over in no time at all. Why don't you get undressed big guy. Don't believe you're big? maybe you should take another look. There you go, flaunt those goods bro, if you got it why not show it off.

of course there is a conversation to be had about what you had to trade for those big muscles and tight ass, what you think I do this without balancing the scales? only on extremely rare occasions, but what to do with you? well I think I'll avoid my typical spill of big stinking freak lets trying something slightly different to match this new body.

Well first off you can't have the brains and the brawn so lets slice that intelligence of yours down to maybe half? no a quarter of what it was. hope you weren't in college bro because now you'll be so stupid you'll fail every single assignment, test or class you ever try and take, just too dumb to learn anything new, in fact I think you are probably too dumb to pick up on signals from guys now too, so lets make another change, a two for one deal in fact. Congratulations bro you are now 100% autosexual, you ain't ever gonna get horny for another person again, the only thing that turns you own now is your own perfectly lean body, and of course the go along with that lets change your personality to that of a raging narcissist. That'll do the trick, incredibly stupid, arrogant and narcissist. You'll basically leave your house for 2 reasons, food and to work out. The rest of your time will be spent locked in your own room, worshipping yourself and jerking it to your own reflection.

[ishouldgetadiary]

there are definitely cleverer people to discuss this at length than me and there are probably people who already have and come to the same or better conclusions, but i do just want to say that an aspect of kim kitsuragi i can't get over is his disconnect from being seolite (outside of the racism). i don't know, it's very important to have asian characters with strong cultural ties who have that culture accurately expressed through their character/stories and i do love those characters, but it's somewhat rarer to see the alternative (at least, when race and culture is acknowledged at all), let alone it being a point of pride for them, the same way it is for kim. all of this to say, i feel haunted by what he says when you ask him about his heritage.

i didnt ask him about it on my first run (because i found the way the question is initially asked to be kinda rude and i was afraid of if it'd make him like me less, lol) but i did in my current replay and the way he dances around the topic, 'i'm half seolite, well technically, my parents were both quarter, i guess you could also say im quarter, i don't know the language or culture and i've only lived in revachol', it fucks me up so bad! first is how you can tell it's mostly a defensive tactic for him, at least when he starts the rant— somebody asks about the race thing? deflect. i'm only half. i don't even know the language. i'm not one of those seolites. second is how he loosens into pride when he realises/remembers that harry isn't asking to be racist, he is genuinely having trouble remembering that the concept of race exists, but also because it lets kim kinda show that it is something to be prideful about in revachol.

dont get me wrong— i think kim kitsuragi is genuinely proud of being as revacholian as anyone else. he loves revachol. i dont think he’d go along with harry so easily on random side quests or have opinions on if harry helps or hinders the people of martinaise if he actually didnt care. i dont even know he’d still be a cop or (more accurately) be one for as long as he has been, especially when he’s spent most of it as a juvie officer, if he didnt believe in revachol. it’s people, what it is, and what the country could be. people like to take his position as a police officer as just his way of feeling a sense of power in a post revolutionary (khm. and racist) world that has never had the space for him or his dreams, but kim is more three dimensional than that. ESPECIALLY when there are ways that being a cop gives him less power than regular citizens in revachol. he likes, wants, and believes in both, and that’s not necessarily hypocritical. in the same way, i dont think it’s at all hypocritical that his pride is rooted in both his love for revachol AND the way white supremacy has impacted him. because yk, when he’s proud about his lack of connection to his heritage, it’s not just his love for revachol speaking, it’s also the disdain that we, the player, hear for seolite people (at least what we hear from or related to kim).

that all being said, i dont consider that to be a terribly complex thought at all— real life people are complicated and multifaceted, so kim kitsuragi is written to also be complicated and multifaceted. in disco elysium, the writers are never worried about presenting the world in a better or worse way than it already is. yes, it is definitely a heightened version of our reality, but it also presents everything as direct as possible. case example would be the racist lorry driver in what he says versus how he’s presented. in that very first interaction when kim confronts him and harry catches up on what just happened, he denies and hides in the same way a lot of people deny and hide that they are being racist, but you, the player, cannot avoid or pretend he isnt being racist, because it is literally in his name. you are not given the grace of real life where there is the option of either the benefit of the doubt or genuinely questioning your own assessment. despite all of that, ultimately, it is still haunting for that early kim question to be so reminiscent of what i see in real life.

in the example of a shorter ramble, kim's own ramble weirdly reminds me of myself, but in the opposite direction. i very easily and quickly tumble into word vomit and over-detail my heritage just to make it make sense that my name isnt white. and i'm not gonna boohoo over my own personal situation at all when i know i benefit from white supremacy, but i hate that ultimately, white supremacy ‘won’ when it comes to 'me'. because just like kim kitsuragi, i don't know a language that isn't english, i dont know a different culture, and i've only lived in my predominantly white country.

but a more apt comparison is my own father. a man who’s internalised shame cant even allow him to comprehend why somebody white would want a tan, because he’s always been at least a little tan, and that’s part of what ‘clocks’ him as not fully white, who does try to connect with his mother’s culture, but just kind of ended up with only odd bits and pieces of it and the language, because it was something that would’ve just made life harder than it should be, and despite everything, he’ll still do things like dunk on chinese people. there may be more to say, but you get the gist. and yet somehow none of it has quite reaches the point where he can recognise it in himself. because he knows racism and white supremacy is bad and he’s obviously against it, but it is hard to acknowledge that it is greater than just the lorry drivers and measureheads of the world. because we live with the consequences and the rot of white supremacy within us. assimilation has done it's job to it's logical conclusion.

… and yet it is a limbo, and a hollow one at that. regardless of how white i am, i still dont fully relate to my fully white peers, because there are ways in which i dont share in their accepted shared experiences. my father has never felt accepted in either club, ‘too japanese for white australians and too australian for japanese people’ (can you believe that disco elysium was almost banned from my country)! our fully white peers will never know what it’s like to be able to look at the face of a complete stranger of a different race and see family. to see their aunts, or grandparents, or parents.

but kim kitsuragi talks of that limbo with pride. he may never feel a true sense of community with either white people or other seolites, and this is something his brain seems to choose not to fully acknowledge, even though he definitely feels it. and really, it’s haunting in the same way i find both my father’s and my involvement in society disconcerting. the truth that, in spite of where white supremacy and assimilation can get you, you will never truly achieve the community or peace of mind there is in ignorance.

despite all that, on a brighter note, i do think that in terms of what kim truly likes harry for and what gains his trust in him is the choice for harry to be that sense of community he needs. (if i am remembering right) kim will only really trust you if you chose to defend him from the several racists you’ll encounter and make jokes at their expense with him, because it’s highly HIGHLY unlikely that barely anybody goes through that effort for him. even when it’s pretty clear that the writers were going for humorous ‘haha, white guy trying his best to be an ally’ dialogue choices, kim himself doesnt really show that he finds it obnoxious or unwanted, it’s genuinely something he would rarely get other rcm members even though that is the community he’s definitely and wholly part of.

anyways i have no idea if this post made any sense or if im really wrong (i could be!) because it came from a more personal place than maybe typical character analysis but whatever

[shadowscommand]

okay. okay? nikto esp doesnt get spicy food super mega often so its always a treat and hed have the least highest tolerance of the others but he does have A High Tolerance. all 6 of the top tier are really like competitive and flex their tolerance. second row likes spice but mainly in the form of hot sauce. they Have a favorite hot sauce. griggs is the only one here who can actually cook so yknow he likes some. fancy lil hot sauce. a beautiful blend. while velikan and syd and lerch are like Franks Red Hot Yea! otter is like Tabasco Yea! theyre also not super competitive its like whatever they just enjoy spicy food. hot chip roze of course. look at her. classic. zane i think would fuck up flaming hot cheetohs hes like This is the only good thing america has ever done. domino agrees. bale probably gets to try them the least but esp going to thailand w mino to visit hes getting those rare flavors and hes enjoying them thoroughly. probably the least tolerance out of the others but he can Handle it. wyatt specifically likes spicy popcorn. alice has the highest tolerance and shes not like flexing it at all shes just eating hot chip every day. mace, golem, iskra, kreuger, mino (when he makes southeast asian meals), and azur tend to make spicier meals. mace esp just likes jalapeños (MUCH to ghosts dismay. he cant EAT that shit). golem makes spicy chili. kreuger stole his recipe (and im stealing this from cero :)c). price, talon, and farah are like. the Least into hot foods but still really able to handle it. farah esp just likes a strong cinnamon flavor like big red, not exactly a huge chili pepper lover. nikolai likes spice the most but he ALSO has the absolute worst tolerance. he cant finish a small pack of spicy ramen noodles without his stomach hurting. HURTING. sparks is pretty similar but he can mask it easier. alex has the highest tolerance and he really likes hot chips. gaz likes hot sauce but Not A Lot or it will upset his Tummy. and make his nose run. charly is the same but she does not care she will douse that shit when she wants. morte is the MOST cautious. soap will always take one bite and go "oh thats good" then the heat hits him and hes like "I'm good. Thank you." milsims. well that is a mixed bag honestly. rodion tries his fucking HARDEST to be nice with mino makes spicy food but he cant do it. he cant handle the spice. he doesnt like it. yegor Does not fucking get it why is his FOOD. HURTING him. ghost is pretty similar he thinks its stupid. he does not like that mace will get jalapeños in their fucking queso at every mexican restaurant. thorne will politely decline anything spicy. this is getting long so i will put franks under a readmore !

Prep Time: 15 mins. Cook Time: 8 hrs 10 mins. Total Time: 8 hrs 25 mins. Servings: All for me none of your business. Ingredients:

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 pound frank meat

salt and pepper to taste

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon chopped fresh ginger

1 fresh jalapeno peppers, diced

1 tablespoon curry powder

1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes with juice

1 onion, sliced and quartered

1 cup frank broth

Directions: Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat, and brown the frankmeat on all sides. Remove from skillet, reserving juices, and season with salt and pepper. Cook and stir the garlic, ginger, and jalapeno in the skillet for 2 minutes, until tender, and season with curry powder. Mix in the diced tomatoes and juice. Place the onion in the bottom of a slow cooker, and layer with the browned frankmeat. Scoop the skillet mixture into the slow cooker, and mix in the frank broth. Cover, and cook 6 to 8 hours on Low. Enjoy :)

[hayleylwong]

reflection 05-23

9:33pm - today i woke up at like 12:30. this was disappointing bc i was supposed to get up earlier to study for my chem midterm tm. instead i didnt study until like 4 bc i had to go sit outside and talk to people and then i went to class for like five minutes but i left to go study for chem bc i thought that was more important. i went to the schoenberg music practice rooms w my friend that can play piano to take a break from studying and omg the practice room hallway looks and sounds like a psychiatric ward like i swear all the instruments blended together and sounded like clown music and the hallway was long and the doors were all like scary w one little window in them. but i liked hearing my friend play piano. then i met my other friend at feast and ate dumplings and we got to talk i wish i could see her more often. then i went to study some more w my friend from before and we had to check like 15 lounges before we found an empty table. tn im gonna do pomodoro method so i am writing this during one of my breaks. i hope i can get through everything rn i feel like it is doable i bought yerba and celsius earlier so i am prepared for my all nighter. we will see how doable it feels as the night progresses. i am looking forward to 4:00pm tm when i can finally sleep after my midterm and hanging out w people for an hour 3 times in a row.

9:44pm - omg i called today the 21st accidentally. i just realized i cannot sleep at 4 bc of club work due at 5. ughhhh it is only the beginning of the night and i already want to sleep. i have overdone my pomodoro break by 11 minutes now. it is not a good sign.

12:10am - it was not a good sign. i have watched one and a half lectures and am two hours and twenty minutes into my current break. i went to the store and got more yerba mate but it is not working. i have seven lectures left and less than ten hours before my midterm. when am i going to shower. i now cannot sleep until 7pm tomorrow. my eczema is making me itch inside my body i am uncomfortable and everything is irritating me i cannot focus but i will. i will do it i have to otherwise idk what to do no i have to i really have to. only 19 more hours of misery.

3:54am - i have watched one hour of lecture in the last six hours. i am scared. there are other peoples review notes on the white board and i do not recognize some of the words. my friend said theyre important. no position is comfortable i am hella fidgety and my skin is freaking out. i want to shower but i do not have time. my friend is abt to go to sleep and leave me. who will keep me awake. i an beginning to do the thing i used to do where i blink weird and tense my head muscles bc i feel off. i am going to hug my boy. except i just saw his explore page and let me tell you i have never seen so many asian bikini thirst traps in my life. and i scrolled through his for you page and the same girl kept coming up. tell me why when i was scrolling through the explore he said ‘ooh a white one’ like three times. like actually wtf. have i told u guys his ex is white. my chem prof is rly grinding my gears rn. i hope i does not ever find my tumblr. i hope i can focus in the next six hours. oh no that is not enough time. no no no no no

5:16 - i actually cannot think. my head is numb. but the caffeine is finally working and i cannot sleep. i am so f ed. my head does not work. maybe i am just irritable rn. i hate everything. wtf is a nucleophile and how do u tell how strong it is. i just learned but i forget. i am going to cry.

5:26 - my friend is going to sleep soon. what am i gonna do. i was supposed to be done w lec by now and i have six left. i have four hours left before the exam. i have never been so disappointed in myself. i am sad. what am i going to do. i cant cry im too dehydrated and i dont have time for that. what is wrong w me

6:26 - how am i still on the same lecture as an hour ago. i am so miserable. was this quarter really worth it if im gonna fail this class? i wasnt even good at this quarter. but it is too late now bc if i dont go through w that i alr failed. i cant even hear anything shes saying anymore but i barely have time to watch even on 2x speed

6:50 - i am struggling. thinking abt doing anything makes me want to sob. i really really hope my club does not make us do stuff for an extra week bc i actually do not think i can. that week will be spent studying for finals. ik what to prioritize now. they should make that more clear. ughhh my brain is being attacked with words. it does not like it. i hate myself rn. i need to scream

jp updates: sam is feeling good today. he is curious whether or not he asks people for contact information weirdly and is working on changing his phrasing.

[twansgendew]

Something something I've begun to infantilize myself on and offline because people used to say "ur so baby" or "awe innocent little cinnamon roll" or whatever and brush aside any like. Knowledgeable thing I said with "ur so baby u woulrnt understand" or stuff like that so I simply. Overplay my childishness and lack of impulse control so it's Me infantilizing Myself instead of them infantilizing me. Because to me its better to act dumb than to show people that I understand things and then be shoved aside anyways because they just dont think I'm smart for some reason. send post

[lavenderw-lemonade]

"Go to New Orleans , they said. It'll be fun, they said!" Ari started melodic and deep voice booming with startled laughter. The drunken politician taking the rental home invasion fairly well possibly. Mostly due to the percentage of Hennessy that was making its rounds about his circulatory system as he and the vampire stood conversing in his sitting room. Liquid courage aside the lawmaker was also feeling a little frustrated that evening. Torn between keeping up his morals and appearances while also craving to feed his less virtuous appetites. Having went through the stages of desperation and need all in his head. All in those few short hours that evening. Lestat must've been privy to his inner monolog for a while now.

As the modelesque man brushed his hair before dawning a black linen suit, heading out to sample a new restaurant for dinner. As he was hungry. Once at the jazzy cafe diner two blocks up from his rental on the French Quarter , Ari sat alone at a table for two dined on simple roasted potatoes and a rosemary grilled steak - extra rare- with 6 shots of henny , and a full bottle of red wine. Buzzed, he stayed chatted with his wait staff, other patrons, a few musicians feeling as if he could have a chance with the drummer. A tall red head with hazel eyes , he was great at keeping beat. Ari wanted him. He was horny. And very, very drunk. But alas, he was wandering home alone, just needing to go home and take care of his current need himself. It was the safest least scandal prone way. And the brunette nearly cheered for himself once he made it. Key in door hands nearly in his pants. To only be strained with need and confronted by lustful beauty.

The phenomenon known as "Asian glow" swept over his face and neck leaving him a warm shade of pink , most concentrated across his cheeks , on the points of his ears and down the entirety of his exposed chest. " I-i was smoking my vape and watching the afternoon rains wash out the quarter- i didn't mean to invite in guest-" He further explained "If you aren't robbing me , what are you doing?- it's not my place i don't know if anything here even is valuable or the elderly couple im renting from- lord don't murder me here , they couldn't manage to clean up the mess." Inebriation made Ari a truth filled comedian and oddly astute. "You aren't going to murder me, right? - ... fuck, are you even real you look how you look - have eyes like that- and i was only on my way to bed to well- ... you're not a like sex demon or like the past owner of this place - i've never fucked a ghost - does that happen a lot in NOLA... are you from here?" The once composed man spiraled. Beginning to worry. "Why are you here and w-who are you?" too far gone to notice the infamous rockstar standing before him. Anymore intense thought and racking tension, and Ari would soon be on the floor faint. Or worse, he would crumple over emptying the contents of his stomach on the handsome blonde's shoes.

OPEN STARTER| Lestat &

Lestat watched until the other was over the surprise of the blonde seated, nonchalant and unperturbed on their couch in the dark room, the one lamp turned on reflecting against his preternatural blue eyes, “Are you done?” His tone bored, as if he had waited on a child to finish a tantrum, “I didn’t break in, I am no thief in the night,” he pushed himself off the couch, “a balcony with an open window is not secure, really mon chere be more vigilant,” he sighed, he had heard them in the sea of voices, his head had tilted and paused his train of thought and venture to where he had been headed, a small cafe to sit and hunt, then followed them here, beating them enough to slip in through the open balcony and wait for them to unlock the door and come in. “It is nice, this place, not my taste, but we both know I am…what are these mortals calling it? Boo-gee?” slang entertained him, he liked peppering his speech with it, laughing at the origins of some until he couldn’t stand it, then throwing the ones out he didn’t like.

[fortpeat]

hello hello hello. i absolutely love your hot takes on prapaisky so today im here to drop one of mine and ask your opinion on the same. as much as i want sky to seek help from the right person, go to therapy and start his healing journey (of course prapai has already helped in that quarter but i see most people want to SEE sky go to therapy), i personally think he's too stubborn to do just that and i don't mean this in a bad way. everyone has their coping mechanism and we know sky doesn't have the healthiest one but something about sky seeking professional help just doesn't sit right with me. i feel that apart from being extremely stubborn, he's also incredibly smart and terribly shy. stubborn because he will refuse therapy, smart because he knows how to deal with his trauma and exactly what needs to be done to heal (part of it includes climbing into prapai every chance he gets and clinging to prapai for the rest of their lives, among other things- and we know both of them absolutely love it), and shy because well that's pretty self explanatory. he has been dealing with it on his own all this time and he may have developed a few too many unhealthy habits but that's beside the point. now, considering how difficult it was for sky to open up to prapai in the first place (and for good reason), and just how much time it took for him to trust prapai, i don't think sky is the kind person who would want to discuss his trauma with just about anyone, it doesn't matter if the other person is a professional psychiatrist/psychologist with fifty degrees and what not. he did it with prapai because prapai proved to him just how much he loves and accepts sky for who he is. prapai has EARNED that privilege (yes it IS a privilege). it's PRAPAI!!!!! so i don't think sky will ever be enthusiastic about going to therapy. yes maybe it's not fair to prapai if sky decides to only rely on prapai. yes it's not fair to sky himself, it's not fair to their relationship but again that's beside the point. that's just the kind of person sky is. of course i could be wrong with my character analysis and i would really really want sky to go to therapy if it helps but idk this is my two cents or whatever ahhhhh im so sorry for the dump i just have too many ~thoughts~

Hey Nonnie ❤️☺️

So first things first sorry for the late reply. It was pretty late when I received this and I was so sleepy and I knew I wouldn't be able to answer it properly and you my dear who wrote this beautiful analysis deserves my full attention. So it's morning here btw I had to sleep on it coz the answer is pretty serious.

Ok do I want Sky to get therapy. Yes I absolutely do because I believe it would do him really good. But do I think he will go. Not really. But if we had a Lita S2 and they showed Sky in therapy I would be a very happy soul.

Now why I don't think Sky would go to therapy. I am Asian and in our culture Therapy and anything mental health related is considered a taboo. We are seen as weak for choosing to go to a professional to seek help. (Bunch of BS). And this is one factor. Another is just like you said Sky can be pretty stubborn and I believe by now he has developed some habits/techniques to help him with his trauma and sometimes for some people that's more than enough and it's what they choose to be comfortable with. Sky is someone who has major trust issues and like you said Sky won't trust a random person out of the blue to open up about his past. It took so much time and effort for Prapai to have Sky trust him and that is okay coz Sky can take as much time as he wants coz this is his story and he gets to decide when and where to tell Prapai. Rain whom he knew longer didn't even know about Sky's past until that awful night. And that's okay as well. Sky don't owe anyone anything. It's upto Sky to choose how he handles his trauma coz only he knows what he has been through and how much pain he has suffered. So if he believes that being with Prapai and being loved and cared for by him is enough to heal then we should respect that. And forcing him to go to therapy will only backfire and make him close himself off and we know Prapai would never force Sky to do anything that he doesn't want to. And if Sky decides that yes all he needs to move on and heal is time and his Prapai then Prapai will gladly be there for him no matter what. In fact Prapai would consider it as a privilege that Sky trusts him enough to accept Prapai's unwavering support.

Why I want Sky to be shown in therapy. Like I said mental health related issues are still considered a taboo in many places. So this could be a very good representation to show that going to therapy and seeking help is never a sign of weakness and that if you think you need help to be better then you should do so without the fear of being judged or alienated.

[mixdgrlproblems]

i have this pinned to the top of my twitter page for all my followers to see because a lot of us haven’t seen it before or knew it existed. I don’t post it enough here so I wanna share it & what it means to me. Dr Maria Root's "Bill of Rights for Racially Mixed People" is the first time some of these thoughts have been put on paper. It’s fairly new itself, she didn’t make this list until 1993. "Children of #mixedmarriages never had anything like this," she says. "We have had feelings all along but not put into any kind of structure. It gives people something to talk about and feel recognized." So let’s talk. The first right is not having to justify our existence in the world & I wrote a post previously about this. Now for the second, I have the right to not keep the races separate within me. This can have several meanings I feel, we have the right to simply be who we say we are. This should be common sense but unfortunately we don’t live in that type of world. The whole concept & system of racism was created by oppressors, separating us due to the color of our skin, cultures, beliefs, etc. To THEM, there are ONLY 5 kinds of people: White, Asian, Black, Hispanic and Indigenous. This leaves #multiracials out of the picture. In 2000, the multiracial/two or more options started to appear but best believe we’ve been around longer than that. A lot of us had to grow up confused & anxious because we had to separate ourselves when applying for pretty much anything or it was a question on tests & surveys. Some have felt more anxiety about which “side” of themselves to choose more than the damn test itself. “But I’m both!” “Why do I only get to choose one?” A lot of us have had to cut off a part of ourselves on paper. “Fine I guess I’ll just say....” Then that weird feeling comes over us, like we don’t feel like a whole person. It sounds ridiculous but basically I just took an SAT test as a Hispanic female, for example, instead of adding Asian as well. I am 100% this race & 100% this race too. Why is that so hard to grasp? Some say they are half & half this or a quarter that, etc but we also have the right to say Im 100% multiracial too. What right speaks to you? https://www.instagram.com/p/CQhEZe1l6Qx/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ooglywooglies]

its not just a case of ariana doing this = bad, me doing this = good, btw

like theres stuff from this period that was just as not good for me as trying to whitewash myself. i used to do things like dye my hair blacker than it already is (my hair is like half black and half brown in like an even spread or something its weird) i used to pose my face in a way that hid the hoods of my eyelids more than other poses (being a halfie means that you can look more or less of one thing or the other depending on the angle and the lighting and all that)

like part of the reason i did that stuff was bc it was more trendy to be asian at the time, and like ive always liked being vocal about asian struggles and stuff and it felt like i HAD to be "more authentic" in a way that ended up also being kind of a performance in a similar way to the whitewashing stuff but in the other direction. like ironically i knew i was trans the whole time so none of it was ever authentic it was just a back and forth rejecting my rejection from whatever group i didnt fit into most recently

thats whats so shit about being mixed is youre not really both and youre not really neither and youre not one or the other youre all of those things at the same time and its contradictory, these days i generally identify as "primarily asian" even though its not even true on a blood level fun fact im only a quarter asian, i identify as "primarily asian" because i have been treated as such by people virtually my entire life, the experience of being treated as if im white is only something ive known in small doses or somewhat recently (i have a whole post about how being half asian in suburban australia is very different from rural wyoming or minnesota)

anyway anyway, i think this has a lot to do with like femininity and beauty standards, like its pretty telling that i basically dropped all this shit immediately after i started transitioning (socially i mean, which means its been like 5 years) and i keep saying i want to dig into the ties between asianness as an aesthetic/appeal and femininity specifically, how i feel like i can never really escape femininity (not that i necessarily always mind, i am a nonbinary man) because of my features and the way my race/phenotype is gendered

the way it turns out gay men fetishize asians (who are bottoms) in a similar way to how asian women are fetishized by anyone who is attracted to women (but most certainly to a lesser extent)

idk my main source is my own experiences on grindr and its hard to disconnect my experiences of being fetishized for my race (as a man) and my gender (as a trans person) because they were happening simultaneously on there. like i cant say if asian cis gay men would be fetishized the same way as me because they dont have the axis of trans to worry about, and i cant possibly know if my transness contributes to the demasculation of my asianness since its not something i can remove

i remembered this morning that vanessa hudgen is wasian and i went to google what she is specifically and i saw some article about her "making an effort to let more people know shes filipina" or something and it looks like in pics she does her makeup differently than she used to and its funny if thats the case bc thats something i started doing after high school (when i still wore makeup), in high school i drew my eyeliner on my top eyelid and bottom eyelid but after awhile i started only doing the top

i used to do the underline in an effort to make my eyes look "bigger" and i used to wish my eyes were green like my sisters and at some point i basically flipped from wanting to look "more white" to look "more asian"

and just thinking that this is so weird. also this was well before there were asianfishing makeup trends like whatever the hell ariana grande was doing not too long ago and thats like, obviously an entirely different can of worms

[thenewdaysalreadyhere]

I keep trying to do that thing where you find out what your kids with someone would look like but for some reason they always look very asian even though they’d only be a quarter filipino and im very confused