#im only free 2 days a week
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All i do on my days off from work is wake up at 2pm nd then apply to 4 jobs then go to sleep at 6pm for a post job application nap nd then wake up at 8pm nd check my email nd get confused why no ones gotten back to me. Then rinse and repeat for the next day im free
#.txt#im only free 2 days a week#man im tired#sooo tired#i hate working i hate having a job#im burnt out nd i wanna be unemployeed
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you're from america? place called the commonwealth, right? i found your tape recorder. how did you come to be in france? a bunch of bad decisions.
THE WALKING DEAD: DARYL DIXON —1.01; L'âme Perdue
#m#all week at work ive been like. on my day off its daryl dixon hours ONLY. and u know what?#i was right.#anyway. am in love with him. need ep 2 right now#i know its probably out as of 20 minutes ago but i cant see it till my sisters free to watch as well#but. until then maybe episode one will always be my maybe#twdedit#dd 1.01#gifs#daryl dixon#wait can i tag ppl? do ppl wanna be tagged in daryl stuff?? becos i would love to be tagged in daryl stuff but im me#the walking dead: daryl dixon
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EYYO LOOK WHAT I GOT TODAYYYYYYYYYY
OKAMI PHYSICAL SWITCH EDITION MY BELOVED!!!!
The box art is so damn pretty and I NEVER see american releases come with a tiny lil leaflet for game controls and tips inside it! And the fact we never got an english physical release of the game and only digital is so mean, but thankfully this costs less than even some of the cheaper english games you can buy and it arrived WAY ahead of schedule yay ;;w;;
Only one teeny tiny downside.....
I was misinformed that my digital copy was gonna also work for the physical and like, load my saves there too..... it does not
THAT JUST MEANS I GOTTA 100% THIS ONE TOO ONCE IM DONE THE DIGITALLLLLLL WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sobs in 40+ hours agaiiiiiin
Least it plays in english thanks to not being region locked, the title logo remains the same in its Japanese form, its really nice XD
Now I patiently await one more tiny Okami thing to arrive!
#okami#okami amaterasu#the fact im about to face the 3rd arcs dungeon before endgame and learning this means im close to finishing digital but skdndksnjrzkbejsns#the plan was to begin okamiden but THAT AINT HAPPENING NOW XD#btw I ordered this off ebay and it only cost 40$ CAD and they provided free shipping! Very good reviews and highly rated seller!#the estimate for it was all the way into may but folks said they got theirs earlier than the date so im shocked it arrived under 2 weeks in#it was sealed still and in amazing condition regardless! especially with the polar vortex going on making it insanely freezing atm smrjdjkd#very much needed this serotonin boost I honestly had a REALLY shit day at work so I really needed a win today and Okami provides#smashwolfen#i promise I still love pokemon but OKAMI HAS ABSORBED THE BRAINCELL ATM#ōkami#ōkami hd
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sleep doesnt exist but i animated a fish even more so life is okay
#my older brother complained that it was too choppy and i needed to make it 24 fps#i nearly killed him#guys my sleep is so fucked#like i go to bed at 8 pm and then sleep terribly only to wake up at 5:45 am#i genuinely cannot fall asleep at 8 ive been trying to for like 2 weeks now#but every morning i have to wake up before six so i dont miss the bus#i have no free time anymore#i have an assignment due on saturday night#but im booked all day tomorrow and all night tonight#im literally so tired all of the time#three pigeons in a trench coat
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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another day of my ex texting me for no good reason. seriously. when do you think he’ll text again
#tomorrow? in 2 days? next week? who knows anymore#it’s been like. 7 months#please!!! free me#i can’t block him bc (first of all im bad at blocking) i don’t have good reason to tbf#and we still have some administrative things to finish up#but seriously. FREE ME!!!#i don’t understand. he broke up with me why am i the only one who’s not thinking of texting him here lol#WE ARE NOT FRIENDS??#NEVER ASKED TO BE FRIENDS???#💭.yaps
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anyways . i’m going to sleep bc i gotta wake up at 6:30 tomorrow and i’m already past my self-imposed curfew
to all the ppl (my friends) i haven’t replied to in a while !! i swear i’ll get to it in the next 3 business days.. work has been Awful bc of the summer holidays + the last few days have been Not Great for me and i just didn’t have the energy BUT IM SLOWLY GOING BACK TO BEING A SEMI FUNCTIONAL HUMAN SO . SOON
#i’ve spent all my free time in the last 2 days watching video essays about petscop#which doesn’t seem concerning or even surprising bc as everyone know . i love everything horror#knows*#but when I exclusively consume horror media for weeks#and it feels like it’s the only thing keeping me sane or entertained#that’s when it’s time to start worrying..#but it’s fine im almost out just let me get through this weekend!!
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I feel like i might stroke out from stress
#my mom wanted to visit this weekend bc of an art festival going on#and she is bringing both my sisters#and i cant get the house clean because i literally dont have enought time to cook myself a meal#and every time my mom visits. even if i did have enough time to deep clean the house. she says something anyways! like i can not win#i also have 2 exams next week and a big project due#like cool you want to visit but i did say i will literally not be available and free to visit until the semester ends#i work every day this weekend#and im so fucking sleep deprived it isnt even funny#the only way i think ill ever rest is if i die#bee.txt
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sleepy and v fed up w this blasted reading for japanese history class tomorrow. give me 45 minutes to finish this article and i will be back to talk about kissing or something
#for the blissfully uninitiated: hello i am history student#which is a fantastic thing to be but also a significant pain in the [REDACTED] when it wants to be#the professor for this class is almost unbearably terrible which does not exactly make me WANT to do this reading#but the exam is in like 2 weeks lol#so yk. i have the hardest life of anyone on earth etc etc#god forbid i actually do the degree i asked to do lmao#also i up early this morning to drag myself to the immigration bureau for a visa amendment#which meant a decidedly unpleasant hour on the metro during rush hour :(#its bc im applying for this english TA position in spring#its literally only for 5 days and tbh i wouldn't mind doing it for free bc i am sad like that and enjoy teaching for fun#but it IS paid - and paid work is Not Allowed under my student visa#so even though i literally have not even GOT the job (applications close today) i still had to go and apply for permission to work#watch as they dont hire me lol#oh i should mention - for those who may not know i am in tokyo this year#i am british and i usually go to uni in the uk but im on a study abroad year this year#i came to japan in sept of 2023 so ive been here for coming up on 5 months and i will be going back home in august on 2024#its weird to think that im approaching the halfway point#tbh i should really just make this a separate post but whatever#coming to japan has been very strange but a good thing i think
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starship au thts the same except the planet its set on is pnf404 and bug is a pikmin. the characters r the same characters theyre just like pikmin creatures and the starship rangers r like hocotations or koppaites and also maybe the rescue corp instead of the starship rangers but maybe not bc the rescue corp randomly going to a planet makes no sense actually makes a lot more sense for it to be hocotaite frieght or like. the koppaites going to pnf404 for fruit maybe but honestly they can still just be the starship rangers but pikmin version. the point is it wld be so slay . whos with me .
#sorry i watched starship for the first time yesterday and this is ofc on of my first thoughts#i have pikmin brain rn i need to play it but i share a switch w my siblings nd its rota system of who gets it and its not my turn rn#which is literally fine the actual problem is i felt this way last week then when i got the switch i only played katamari and totk#bc i havent finished totk yet and im trying to unlock all the cousins. but i also have barely started pikmin 2#and havent finished the sage leaflings levels in pikmin 4#anyway not the point. the point is this au wld be so so good whos with meee. WHOS WITH ME !#i shld draw it some day if i start making digital art again lol#starship starkid#starship#starkid#pikmin#flappy rambles#at least at one point ill like. assign all the insect characters to pikmin creatures . yk#but also like if anyone else out there with this niche oversection of interests has ideas for an au like this#pls feel free to share em i wanna see themmm#itd mostly be an au for like. idk visuals aesthetics or w/e but idcc itd be cute okayyy
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only have 2-ish scenes left for the ricky fic 😭😭😭.
#i say 2-ish bcs they're long scenes. maybe 3k words each AHAHAAHHA#i can finish it soon but the problem is i don't have free time anymore 😭#i was able to write 3-4k a day prior but today i only got a few hundred words in ugshsjsjs#my finals r next week and i have a few papers on my plate. but i'm hoping to squeeze out the fic by weekend#while im still very inspired for it HAHAHAHAHA#anyway it's almost 5am i have to wake up in 3hrs gnight#answering asks when i have the time!!!! huhuhu
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This week kinda fucking sucks
#idk#maybe it won't feel as bad once im out of it#maybe im just stuck in my head#my great grandma passed away at the beginning of the week#her funeral is over the next two days#ive overall been upset over various things all week#im sore#im tired#my head is fucking killing me#im pissed#im sad#im alone#one of my favorite coworkers had his last day today#good for him i guess#my cousins birthday was this week#by the time i could get there it was so late it was like i missed it#ended up driving home at 2 am#i haven't really given myself a proper break this week either#only just realizing it#any free time has been immediately filled either by myself or someone else#my game night with my friends is most likely not happening this week#and to top it off#three for three on plans with my favorite person being destroyed by fun surprises#having a great time#can't wait for next week#here's hoping it's not worse#im done ranting for now#sorry to those who have to see me like this
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hmm
#we're coming up on three straight weeks of spontaneous nerve pain my friends#doctors dont know whats wrong & all i can say is thank fuck i've got a real person job with benefits & live in a country w/ free healthcare#i dont even know how to explain it. i've been on meds helping the pain finally.#and only noticed they were working once they wore off and it legitimately felt like i was dying again. i hope you never know this pain#my bodys exhausted i'm exhausted even though the pain is being managed. my body is still firing all the nerves i just cant feel it anymore#i sit in bed all day and cant focus cant think cant type accurately. holding my phone hurts. but im so exhausted. i shouldnt be but i am#it occurred to me the other day that. this might not just stop. its been almost 3 weeks theres no reason to think itll just stop#and thats fucking scary. im 2* and i know age isnt correlated with health but. i shouldnt be. i dont know. im young & healthy & so confused#i just want to know whats wrong. i just want the pain to stop. the sensations to stop.#im stuck at home because thats where i should be with ease of emergency rooms but. my family is driving me crazy#half of my dad thinks im faking it (which my brain keeps latching onto bc it tries to tell me i'm fine when i#am so clearly not fine.)#char speaks
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I need to do art style studies but i CAN'T
#raey spam#i wont be able to draw for like 2 weeks due to The Busy........#oughhhhh i wanna shade clothes sooooo bad right now#(normal human desire)#i also wanna work more on my omori designs#color prototype for basil is done so im literally so close (this is gonna take another 3 months bc im not putting actual time into it)#after that i gotta make refs for all of them#well I don't Have to but i would like to#then i can do a full illustration w them#and i need to do a composition study sooo bad omg#i really wanna start working on more involved art#instead of like. random headshots of characters not doing anything in specific#i also gotta do a revenge......... best not to leave it till next year but i also only have like 4 days left that im free in july.... so sad#some more details on my omori au for the no one that is interested:#actually I straight up dont have any#i should draw them fighting sweetheart...... ough....#i also need to draw like every day lately I've been feeling like my art is kind of not where it could be?#i do like my art but im conflicted ig?#idk how to explain it like. i often feel like i improve a lot between each piece but that also means that pieces from like not that long ago#are Not Good to me#idk it's like. feeling as though only a couple select pieces are worthy of any attention at all#also i have a lot of art styles i wanna study that are all wildy different so like how am I supposed to choose#well I'll just keep making art I like and whatever happens happens ig.#oh i wanna draw mari like really badly#maybe i can do a little traditional art of her as a treat.............#anyways is anyone interested in seeing some of my wip omori designs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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i forgot how much i love being tech crew <33
#camera talks#show night is next week (PANICKING)#but i got to set up some more mics during my free time today#speaking of which they let me in the booth by myself and normally they don't trust us to do that but hey !!! it was fun#and im finishing lights for act 2 over the next couple days which is so exciting#(act 1 is finished already and honestly looks pretty good im happy with how we did it and it only had to be tweaked a little bit yesterday)#im running sound board on show night which is fun and i get to control mics and i Believe SFX so !!!!#and my best friend is probably running lights which is so exciting and fun (i love light board too its awesome)#i don't like our directors and stuff much#but man i love tech so much we do like half of everything to put the show together and it looks awesome#augh /pos anyways ill probably post more about show stuff coming up as i start to panic bc thats what i do#but at least mics and lights will be good :))
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