#and every time my mom visits. even if i did have enough time to deep clean the house. she says something anyways! like i can not win

[thelightintheattic]

I feel like i might stroke out from stress

[chahnniesroom]

hoju (home)

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: even though chan has been living in korea for so many years, he still considers australia to be home. when he finally has the opportunity to go back and visit, he can't wait to bring you along and introduce you to the people and places that he grew up with.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: none :)

a/n: hoju (호주) is the korean word for australia.

this was a request from my sweet 🦦 anon! thank you for the inspiration, i had fun writing this and i hope that it meets your expectations. sorry that i did not write this in chan's pov 😅 as usual, please let me know if there are any typos or mistakes because i didn't have the chance to proofread 🥲

read it on ao3 | masterlist

Chan has been acting strange lately. Not enough that you're worried, just a little bit suspicious. He's never tried to hide what tabs he has open on his phone before and he's looked deep in thought quite a few times, but when you ask what he's thinking of, he changes the topic quickly. You're curious, but trust that Chan will talk to you when he's ready. Still, you can't quite ignore all of the changes in behaviour.

It's the same tonight. When you look up during dinner, Chan's just stirring around the noodles in his plate, only taking a bite every so often. You frown, trying to think of if you've done anything differently to prepare the food in a way that he doesn't like, but it tastes the same to you as usual. You rule out a lack of appetite, as he had just commented that he was starving while you were cooking.

“Is everything okay?” you ask hesitantly, after a few more minutes have passed.

“What?” Chan looks up, startled by the sound of your voice. “Oh no, everything's fine! Just… thinking.”

“Is it about work? Did something happen?” You know that Chan has been busier than usual this month, the boys have some time off in a few weeks and everybody is scrambling to get things finished in the meantime. You've also requested vacation at work, although so far you and Chan haven't planned anything. In fact, he's been a little bit cagey when you've brought up the topic. You try not to think much of it and really, it's just nice to be able to spend extra time together.

Honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if Chan has found out that his break has been cut short or even cancelled. It's rare that they’re able to have more than a few days off at a time which is why you had been so shocked when Chan had let you know that they didn't have schedules for a period of almost three weeks.

It would provide an explanation to everything that you've observed the past few days, you know that he would try his best to fix things before he had to tell you the bad news.

“Well-”

“It's okay if you found out you can't take time off,” you reassure him. “I understand that it's all up to the company and sometimes they change their mind at the last minute. I can just let my work know and take my vacation another time, I'm sure they might even be happy if I'm still around next month.”

“No!” Chan says, his eyes wide in panic. “We still have time off! Don't worry about that. It's actually- How would you feel about visiting Australia with me?”

It's your turn to stare at Chan in shock.

“Australia?”

“Yeah, it's been a while since I went back and-” Chan breaks eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I thought it'd be nice if I could introduce you to my family, in person.”

“You want me to meet your family? In Australia?” you repeat, dumbly.

“Only if you feel comfortable!” Chan says hurriedly. “I looked into tickets, but didn't book anything yet so it's totally up to you. I also wanted to check if my family was available beforehand and it's pretty good timing actually. If you don't want to, then it's totally fine, I'll probably go for either way and I think Felix is also considering it. It's just that we've been together for a while now and I've met your family and I know that my mom basically considers you to be her daughter-”

“I want to go,” you interrupt, not wanting Chan to spiral further. “I was just surprised, I guess, but of course I want to accompany you.”

Chan brightens at that, then grabs his computer, unlocking it and opening up a spreadsheet. As it loads, he reaches for his chopsticks and takes a huge bite of food. You can't help but smile fondly at the sight of his cheeks bulging with food as he chews, relieved that his appetite is back.

“I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I was looking at flights, and I think that if we leave on a Tuesday, it might be best. It means we can enjoy the weekend here and still have time to pack everything,” he explains excitedly. “It'll be less busy at the airport too, which will be nice, and it works out well with my parents’ schedules anyway.”

You hum in acknowledgement, content to follow along and take mental notes as Chan reads out everything else that he's thought of so far. He continues planning for the rest of the evening, trailing behind you as you clean up and do your nightly routine, only stopping to help you when you do the dishes and put away the laundry. It's cute how animated he becomes, putting together a long list of all the sites and restaurants that he wants to show you.

You can tell that he's still thinking of it as the two of you curl up in bed that night, every so often you feel him jolt behind you and turn to reach for the little pad of paper and pencil that he often keeps on his nightstand.

Eventually, you turn over and squint at him. He doesn't even pretend to be asleep.

“Hi,” he whispers. “Sorry if I'm keeping you awake.”

“Sleep,” you murmur tiredly. “We have lots of time to plan, get some rest for now and we can talk more tomorrow.”

Chan starts to protest, but you just nuzzle closer, pulling his hands to wrap around you. As you drift off to sleep, you can feel that Chan has finally relaxed too.

—

The two of you spend the first day of break slowly, sleeping in and having a lazy meal of bibimbap from all the banchan taking up space in your fridge. You only venture out of the apartment for dinner, going to your favourite local restaurant that you visit so often that the owner starts making your meals the second that the two of you step through the door. The next couple of days are also easygoing, consisting of shopping, watching dramas, and eventually preparing for your trip.

Throughout the drive to the airport and making your way through security and to your gate, you can tell Chan's a bit on edge even though you and Felix try to assure him that everything will be fine. The three of you are in incognito mode, wearing hats, face masks, and plain clothes but Chan’s still scanning your surroundings the whole time. You, on the other hand, can't help but be excited, bouncing at his side so much that he loops his arm over your shoulders to try and calm you down. Felix is more relaxed and laughs at the stark contrast between the both of you, even filming parts of it since he’s getting footage for a vlog. Luckily you know that any content with you in it is likely to be edited out and don’t bother to hide your eagerness.

While Chan is used to travelling often for concerts and other overseas schedules, you've rarely visited places outside of Korea and have certainly never flown business class. You squeeze Chan's hand when you see your seats, thrilled at the idea of having so much leg room and a divider between the two of you that can also be fully lowered. It keeps you entertained for the whole time before the plane takes off, taking pictures together and reclining your seat up and down until the seatbelt sign turns on.

The flight is over 10 hours, so it doesn't take long before you move your attention to browsing the menu that's available and scrolling through all of the movies on the in-flight entertainment system. Shortly after the dinner meal is served, you start to doze off. Wanting to make the most of the experience, you insist to Chan that you'll be able to stay awake to watch another movie with him, but only make it through the first 30 minutes before you wake up to a dark screen.

You blink up blearily as a flight attendant starts making their way through the aisles, handing out customs forms for everyone to fill out. When you receive yours, you stare at it for a few seconds before realising the problem is not the fact that you're still adjusting to being awake.

“Oh no,” you whisper in horror, causing Chan to glance over at you, concerned.

“What happened?” he asks.

“I didn’t think about practising English before this trip,” you reply, distress leaking into your voice. “The last time that I wrote anything in English was when I was in secondary school… I'm not going to survive in Australia!”

“Hey, it's not an issue, I'll be with you the whole time! You don't have to worry about any of that. And you know enough conversational English to get by, I know you do,” Chan says soothingly.

You refuse to be comforted, burying your face into your hands.

“How am I going to face your parents when I barely know anything other than ‘hi, how are you?’” you moan. “I'm not even going to make it through customs! They're going to arrest me when I can't answer any of their questions!”

You know that you're exaggerating, but it makes Chan laugh so hard that tears gather in the corners of his eyes. You try to keep up your act, but end up dissolving into laughter too at the way that Chan is trying so hard to stay quiet, not wanting to bring attention to you two.

Contrary to your fears, you manage to deplane, get through customs, and collect your luggage without any major issues. You had a moment of anxiety when Chan and Felix split up from you since you have to go into the lineup for foreign passports, but you are somehow able to fumble your way through the conversation with the border officer without being detained.

Felix splits up with you shortly after, you see that his tiredness from the long flight melts away the second that he sees his family. He gives you and Chan both a quick hug to say goodbye before running out to meet them.

Chan lights up in a similar way when he finally spots his parents. They're waiting in the pick-up zone and waves the two of you over quickly. You barely get the chance to say hi before Chan’s mother is enveloping you into a hug.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she says warmly. “Come on, let’s take you home.”

The drive is fairly short and it feels like no time at all before you’re approaching the house. The second that the front door opens, you hear a distinctive scrabble of claws against hardwood before Berry shoots towards Chan, tail wagging furiously. Chan immediately kneels down to give her better access, laughing when she stands on her hind legs to lick at his face.

Once she’s finished with that, she turns to you, barking curiously before moving closer. You stick out a hand for her to get an idea of your scent and try not to jump when you feel the cool, damp press of her nose against your palm. Whatever Berry smells, she approves of, giving you a few quick licks before running back to Chan.

“She’s so cute!” you exclaim, pulling out your phone so that you can take a picture of the reunion. You don't think that Chan even hears you, caught up in talking to Berry, giving her kisses and allowing her to do the same.

“I'll help you with your bags,” Chan's father says from beside you, easily lifting them out of your hands and motioning for you to enter the house. You exchange greetings with both of Chan's siblings as you remove your shoes, familiar with them through video calls and the one time that you met Hannah when she was travelling in Korea.

Chan’s family recently moved so this was also Chan’s first time seeing the house in person, the two of you trailing behind Chan’s father as he gave you a brief tour of the first floor before leading you upstairs. When you get to the guest room that you'll be staying in, Hannah pops her head in.

“Chris doesn’t spend enough time in Australia to have his own room in this house, so you guys are in this room.” She eyes you for a moment and based on the mischievous smile that’s growing, you can guess what she’s about to say. “Y/n, if you get sick of him, then feel free to stay with me instead!”

“Hey!” Chan complains, not even looking up from where he’s unpacking his bag. He grabs onto one of his shirts and chucks it at Hannah, but she easily dodges, throwing one of her slippers at him in retaliation. It hits Chan right in the chest and he looks at her in disbelief. He abandons his task in favour of chasing her throughout the house. You don't follow after, but you hear as their yelling and laughter echoes through the halls.

It’s refreshing to see Chan at home, no matter how comfortable Chan is with the rest of the kids, he’s still the leader of the group and the oldest member and the dynamic of their relationship reflects that. Even though it has barely been a few hours, you’re relieved to find that Chan has left behind the stresses of being an idol and can instead just be a son and an older brother.

His parents are hilarious and kind, it’s easy to see how Chan’s personality is a reflection of the environment that he was raised in. During dinner, you laugh at the way Chan pouts dramatically when Chan’s father pretends to forget about Chan when serving the food and how he groans in pleasure when he finally gets to taste his mother's cooking after so long. Hannah and Lucas continually crack jokes as you eat, especially if they're at Chan's expense and he pretends that he doesn't find them funny.

—

One afternoon you find Chan fiddling with the camera that he’s brought with him. You step up behind him, resting your chin on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Are you planning on filming tonight?” you ask, knowing that Chan was always careful to alert everyone in the house beforehand.

“Not today,” he replies. “Probably tomorrow, when I take out Berry for her morning walk. Did you want to join?”

“Of course!”

“I was thinking of going right after breakfast, before it gets too hot out,” he says as he pulls out the camera battery and fits it into the charger.

“Anywhere in particular you wanted to go?”

“Mmm, maybe by the water? There's a path that's not too far away. I don't want anything that's too close to the house, you know?”

“Good idea.”

“Are you planning on putting it into a vlog?” you ask curiously. "You haven't been filming much.”

"Actually…”

“What? You're making me nervous.”

“I was hoping to use it for a music video,” Chan says sheepishly.

“What?! I'm not qualified for that!! I can't- you need to find someone else-”

“No no, it's going to be fine! It's for a record, not like, an actual music video.”

“I don't know,” you say, still feeling hesitant.

“I promise, I'm going for the casual vibes and it's either you or like, my eomma, and I guarantee that you would do a better job.”

“Okay,” you say reluctantly. “But I can't guarantee it'll come out well.”

“Thank you! I know it'll be great,” Chan says, showering you with kisses in gratitude until you're squirming away.

—

The next morning, Chan’s parents are out, leaving all the kids to prepare food on their own. It's a little chaotic, but you manage to cobble together a decent meal. It's a lot of fun to see how Chan and his siblings interact without their parents around to mediate. You're amazed by how similar the three are, not only in appearance but also the way they behave.

Although much younger, Lucas shares a strong resemblance to Chan, especially once he smiles and shows off matching dimples. They quickly disappear once Chan reaches out and musses up his hair playfully as you’re all cleaning up.

“Chris, stop it,” he complains, pushing his older brother away before trying to fix the strands that are all over the place. It only encourages Chan to move closer, wrapping his arms around his brother and lifting him into the air. When trying to wiggle free doesn’t work, he turns pleading eyes to you, knowing Hannah wouldn't step in to help. “Noona! Get him to let me down!”

The two of you had been awkward the first time you had been left alone, it hadn’t helped that Lucas’ Korean could be considered conversational at best and your English was significantly worse, but you had quickly grown close through attempts to tease Chan. Now, it’s easy to treat him like the little brother you never had.

You approach quickly, trying to avoid Lucas’ flailing limbs, and reach out to poke at Chan’s waist. He twitches away from your touch and when you persist in prodding at all his ticklish spots, unwinds one of his arms to swat at your hand.

The distraction is enough for Lucas to break away and he quickly moves out of reach. Instead of chasing after him, Chan turns his focus to you. You back away nervously, but find yourself with nowhere to go. Chan grabs you and easily slings you over your shoulder, ignoring your shrieks of protest.

“Betrayed by my own girlfriend? I should have known that introducing you to my siblings would just be asking for trouble,” he growls in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Hey! Where are you taking me?” You look to see if his siblings are going to rescue you, but they must be trying to avoid Chan's wrath as you don't see either of them as Chan brings you up to the guest room.

“I am enlisting your help,” he says casually, as if he wasn't carrying you up a flight of stairs and dropping you on the bed. “I would like your advice on what to wear for Berry's walk.”

“Ooh,” you say. “Very important business then, I'm honoured that you would ask me.”

It doesn't actually take much time to get ready, the two of you change into clothes for the heat and you just have to convince Chan that he doesn't have to try to do his hair or makeup. The second that you mention to Berry that you're going for a walk, her tail starts wagging non-stop and she even fetches her leash and drops it in front of you.

Chan doesn't give you much direction for filming, just hands you the camera and tells you to capture whatever you want. The two of you walk hand in hand through the neighbourhood, Berry happily exploring the area. As you get further away from the house, you let go of Chan, motioning for him to continue walking as you turn on the camera and get used to it.

By the time you've reached the waterfront, you're feeling more confident and have a better idea of what you like. You try out different angles, feeling a little bit like paparazzi, and after a few minutes, even try directing Chan too. You let him keep going, wanting to see how far away he'll go before he realises that you're not following. He's almost a block away before he turns back.

“You’re smiling, did it come out okay?” Chan asks as he jogs back towards you.

“Yeah, it was great! I was just thinking that Stay are going to go crazy over this,” you tell him.

“They do really like it whenever they get to see Berry,” he says thoughtfully, picking her up and scratching her head. You burst out laughing at that and Chan frowns in response and goes as far as to cover Berry’s ears, insulted on her behalf. “What? Don’t laugh at that, it’s true! Berry is just so cute.”

“I’m not saying that they don’t like Berry, of course they do. I was more referring to the fact that the video is… domestic. Very boyfriend.”

“Ooh you think that's what Stay are interested in?” he asks. “What about this?”

He gestures for you to lift up the camera, and once you're recording, grabs your hand to pull you along behind him. You let out a small noise of surprise as he tugs on your arm, struggling slightly to keep everything steady and ensure your hand is out of frame. At your sound, Chan looks back slightly and bursts into laughter.

“So concentrated, you’re so cute,” he giggles.

“Of course,” you grumble. “I want it to turn out nice.”

“Thank you,” Chan says sincerely, no traces of laughter in his voice. “I really do appreciate it a lot that you're helping me with work even though we're on vacation.”

“Hmm,” you say, turning away from him. “You're just glad that you didn't have to ask Hannah, because she would make fun of you the whole time.”

“That's not true! I mean, it is true that Hannah would do that, but that's not the only reason.” Chan uses your connected hands and pulls you close. “I also wanted to spend time with my favourite person in the whole world.”

“You're lucky I love you so much,” you sniff, still pretending to be annoyed even though you've practically melted into Chan's hug. “Now stop getting distracted, I thought it would look nice if you walked along the sand and there's nobody there right now.”

—

The rest of your time in Sydney is a whirlwind of activities. Chan is determined to take you to all his favourite places in the city and you eat more food than you thought possible. Chan’s family, and sometimes Felix and his family, accompanies you two for a majority of the outings and your initial hesitance interacting with them is replaced by fondness, eased by the way that they treat you like one of their own.

You even have a chance to meet some of Chan’s childhood friends, ones that he kept close with despite the long distance. It feels strange to eat dinner with them. Although they do their best to make you feel welcome, they have a lot of history together and you find yourself struggling to keep up with their conversation, not just because of the language barrier but due to references to people, places, and events that you're unfamiliar with. Regardless, you're glad to finally know the people that Chan grew up with and you love seeing how happy Chan is to be reunited with them.

It’s also nice that while you're meeting so many people, you don't have to hide your relationship at all. In Korea, you and Chan are more careful in public. It’s not totally a secret that you’re dating, but you are more on the cautious side due to the popularity of Stray Kids and inevitable scrutiny from fans. In Australia, Chan has no such reservations, excitedly introducing you as his girlfriend to everyone. It never fails to make you blush, feeling shy, but secretly pleased.

Wherever you go, Chan keeps you close to his side, linking your hands or looping an arm around your shoulders. Throughout the day, he presses kisses to your head or cheek. The first time he does it, you look up at him questioningly. He just shrugs, saying that he’s happy and well, you can’t argue with that.

You don’t want your vacation to end and you know you're not the only one. You and Chan have both procrastinated packing your luggage until the last possible moment, and when you finally do begin, Berry seems to sense it. She starts hiding all of your things- Chan's family members finding them lodged in one of the couch cushions or in her dog bed- and curling up inside your suitcase, making it practically impossible to continue packing.

When Chan enters your shared room and pauses when he sees you staring into the suitcase helplessly. You wave him over so that he can look inside.

“She’s too cute! Look at that little face, how could you disturb her?” you ask.

Chan has no such reservations. He reaches in and gently lifts Berry out, cradling her against his chest so that she can’t jump back in.

“Berry, do you want to come to Korea with us?” he asks patiently. When she licks at his face in reply, he groans and pretends to lower her back into the suitcase. “Ah, I guess we have no choice but to bring you! I think we can sneak you in with the rest of the souvenirs that we’re taking with us.”

Despite Chan’s promises, Berry ends up staying behind, not even joining you on the drive to the airport. You’re lucky that you decide to leave well before your flight is expected to depart as you end up taking almost half an hour saying goodbye to everybody.

You know that you’re going to treasure these memories for a long time and you’re certain that Chan will too. It’s amazing that even though you were only in Australia for a couple weeks, it already feels like a second home.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[writingroom21]

The Nanny

Pairing: rafe x nanny reader

Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside is dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?

Warnings: 18+, oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (Practice safe sex), cream pie, slapping, chocking, squirting, use of daddy

Wc: 5.3K

Chapter 3: Guess we're both broken

Waking up the next morning, you tossed over to the otherside, noticing the sheets were cold. Peaking through sleep coated eyes you realize that Rafe is gone. Sitting Up you look around the room, his shirt and shorts gone as well. Not surprised that he was gone, a sinking feeling is in your chest, he used you. Once again you are left knowing that you shouldn’t have thought anything else. Should have known him being on his best behavior recently was just another ploy to sleep with you, knowing that he won. 

The rest of the day was spent moping around Tannyhill, grateful that you didn’t need to see him. Sarah being the only person you see when she stops by to get some of her things before running off again to stir up trouble. The day was so uneventful that you even decided to go to your parents cookout. Which turned out as awful as you expected it to go.

Reaching your childhood home you can see your neighbors scattered around the lawn. You notice your dad on the grill talking to one of the other dad, most likely talking about what rub or glaze he used this time. Walking around you greeted a few people who stopped you to ask how work is going. “That Cameron boy is causing you any trouble is he?” If only you knew, you thought. “No he’s not. They are all really respectful to me.” In hindsight it wasn’t a lie, they have been really nice making you feel welcomed. If the past two nights hadn’t happened you wouldn’t be so apprehensive to say it, but they did happen.

Everything seemed to be going well until you reached your mom. She was talking to some of her friends when she saw you walking their way. “Well if it isn’t my precious little angel. Hardly recognize you since we never see you.” She chuckles, trying to mask the insult with laughter. Taking a deep breath you give her a hug. “I know, I’m sorry. Been trying to visit but it’s been hectic.” Saying hi to the rest of the group was met with few words, some of them not replying at all. “How much work can it really be? The young one is practically an adult herself.” Your mom has a way of making everything you do seem insignificant or an inconvenience to her, your job being one of them. 

“You’d be surprised. Wheeze is a saint but she does give me a run for my money. I should go say hi to dad before he feels left out.” With that you walked off to greet your dad. The rest of the night was a never ending cycle of your parents making small jabs at you. Making you and the rest of the party uncomfortable every time they spoke. The cherry on the cake was when they pulled off to the side just as you were about to leave. “Sweetie, we need to ask you something and before you start getting mad you need to agree to hear us out.” Your dad says sitting on the couch looking at you, your mom next to him nodding along to his words. “Okay.”

“So you see we really need to fix up the house. You know how bad the AC is, you would have better luck keeping the fridge door open then that thing working.” Oh god you can already see where this is going, eyes rolling waiting for them to ask you for money. “Don’t roll your eyes at us, we are your parents.” Your mother scolded. “Anyway.” your dad continues. “We don’t have the money to get it fixed. The mortgage is barely even being covered as it is, we just need you to spot us some money. Just enough to get us going.” Taking a deep breath and cooling your nerves. “How much?” you ask.

“4,000.” Your eyes widen at the price, that's a whole month's worth of pay, let alone you don’t have that on you right now due to helping them out. “4,000? You need me to give you 4,000 dollars? By when?” The questions shootout at them. “Yes 4,000 and we need it now preferably.” So that’s why they invited you today, not because they miss you like they claim but because they need money. “I don’t have that kind of money on me or in my account.” “What do you mean you don’t have that money? What’s the point of working for some kooks if they don’t pay you well.” Your dad scoffs turning and looking at your mom. “What did I tell you? I told you she wouldn’t help us.”

This really can’t be happening right now. You have been working since you were 14 to contribute to the bills, every paycheck going straight into their hands. “I have been helping you. I’ve been helping you for the past six years with every bill in this house.” “We never asked you to do that.” Your mother rebuttals, taking another sip from the glass of wine in her hand. “Yes you have!.” you exclaim. “You are literally asking me for 4,000 dollars as we speak. Every time you ask me for money I hand it over without making a fuss, but this I can’t do. I have my own expenses, you know.”

“What expenses? All of a sudden you live in a fancy mansion and you’re too good to help out your parents.” Your dad’s words hurt you. You have tried to be their perfect daughter your whole life. The perfect grade, the scholarship, then declining the scholarship because they begged you not to go. Every life choice you’ve made has been to cater them and their wants. “Yes, dad, my expenses. I have my own car that I pay for by myself, a car loan as well, I even have to buy my own groceries. Then on top of that I send the both of you practically all of my paychecks. I’ve been scraping by trying to make it all work, why can’t the two of you just realize I can’t do this.” Your pleas fall onto deaf ears as they both get up from the couch. “If you aren’t willing to help us then there’s nothing left to talk about. You know where the door is.”

Watching as the walk away tears threaten to spill from your eyes. The drive back to Tannyhill seemed longer than it usually did. The conversation played on repeat throughout the whole drive. Parking your car you rush to the front door, all you want to do is lay in your bed and cry. Tears are already falling from your eyes as you close the front door. “Well what do we have here, country club? This that nanny you keep hiding from me?” You recognize the voice, you’ve seen and heard him around Tanny when Rose or Ward is gone. Barry is his name you think not really caring to find out you just walk down the hall. “Not much of a talker I see.”

“Leave her alone.” Rafe’s voice makes your ears perk up. Even though every muscle in your body is telling you to keep walking and not to look at him, you cave. Eyes meeting he can see the tears in them. “You okay, sunny?” You can’t do this right now, can’t get caught up in him just for him to leave once again. Without saying a word you brush past him, bounding up the stairs to the second floor. But before you can slam your bedroom door you can hear Barry talk. “The fuck you do to her?”

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The next morning you had yourself locked in your room just thinking. First about your parents and then about Rafe, then your parents and Rafe once again. It was torture having to sit in the room replaying ever interaction to see where things went wrong. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you about the Rafe situation but it might for your parents. 

Looking at the clock by the bed you see that it's almost one in the afternoon. Deciding that you can’t sit her a mope for the rest of your life, you get up and get ready. Ward had given you a membership to the country club when you first started, he thought it would be better since you can accompany Wheezie when she goes. A nice relaxing day at the club, eating the fancy food is just what you needed.

It didn’t take long to get there or to find a seat by the pool, most of the people are on the golf course anyway. The only people by the pool are the wives that have kids and the teens who were there for the lifeguard. Stripping from clothes you are left in the red bikini you wore, you put on some sunscreen before laying down on the lounge chair soaking up the rays. 

The sun feels nice against your skin, the heat relaxing your tense muscles finally being given a break. After about thirty minutes you flip over allowing your back to tan, not wanting to be uneven. The sound of kids laughing and the busy club lull you into a peaceful mind. So what if your parents are upset? You have done more than enough to help them out over the years, you can’t keep digging them out of their messes. Who even knows where most of the money you send them goes, it’s definitely not toward the house.

So what if Rafe is a dick who just uses girls and dumps them to the side? You can’t control who he is and clearly he just wanted to hookup nothing more. All that you can do now is just keep to yourself, it’s better to protect your peace then being his new play thing. Then why does it hurt? Shaking off the thoughts you notice how hot you started to get. 

The sun is beating down on you, sweat forming on your skin causing you to stick to the chair. Getting up you head into the pool, the cold warmer cooling you off as you float. You didn’t know this but a few feet away on the dining patio sat Rafe with Topper and Kelce. Rafe was half listening while the two boys talked about something he didn’t care about. His mind kept bringing back the picture of your crying face from last night.

As soon as Barry left he went straight to your room but the door was locked. He sat there for a second and heard nothing from the otherside of the door, assuming you went to bed he left for his room. When he woke up this morning it was all that he could think of, seeing you like that hurt him. You looked like he did after his dad made him feel less of, the thought of you feeling like that made his blood boil. But showing you he cared shows that he needs you, that he actually cares for, that’s not who he is.

No Rafe is the type of guy that fucks everything in his life up, dropped out of school, is a failure to his dad and in relationships. That's what he’s good at, you’ll see it eventually so why even try? Looking out to the course, he can see the pool from here, looking at all the bodies laying around. The red swimsuit draws his eyes down your body, recognizing you as you walk out the pool. The water drips down your stomach, down your legs, but the droplet in between your breasts has him staring. 

Rafe isn’t the only one staring, the few teen boys are staring, then there’s the lifeguard. Rafe remembers him from school and doesn’t like the fact he’s staring at you. He watches as you dry yourself off, putting the shirt and shirt you wore back on. Looking as you gather your things and escape his view as you leave, the boys gather his attention. “Dude are you even listening?” His eyes move back to them “Yeah.” 

You make your way through the halls, carding through your memory to remember how to get to the dining. As you walk, members of the club look at you, judging you for the way your shirt has wet spots from your swimsuit and hair. You decide to sit at the bar not wanting to deal with anyone today. “How can I help you m’lady.” You put the menu down to meet JJ’s gaze. “Oh my god! Jayj hi.” You squeal, catching the attention of patrons including Rafe. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Joining the darkside has really changed you.” He looks around before leaning a bit closer. “How is it on the other side? Miss us already?” He teases. “Of course I miss all of you.” You playful push his shoulder, JJ raises his hands up in surrender before resting his body weight on the bar counter arms next to yours. Rafe stares in shock at the scene playing in front of him. You, his girl, flirting with fucking Maybank of all people.

He sees JJ push a piece of hair behind your hair and you giggle. The chair scraping against the floor alerted the boys, he didn’t even realize he was even up and walking over to the two of you. “Where are you going?” Kelce calls out to him. “I’ll be right back.” As he gets closer he can hear your conversation more clearly. “You should come to the bonfire this week. I’ll make it worth your time.” JJ flirts, Rafe coming up right behind you, the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Looking over your shoulder you can see the look of anger on his face and the smirk painted on JJ's face. 

“Sunny! I didn’t know you were going to be here. Maybank why don’t you run along and get me another drink.” He says with a condescending tone, glaring at the blonde boy. “Rafe.” You say as a warning, already seeing how this is going to end. “What? I’m just asking the help to do his job. Right Maybank?” “I was actually helping out this beautiful customer. Ain’t that right baby?” JJ remarks getting closer to you. The look on Rafe’s face could probably kill JJ if he tried hard enough.

Rafe leans against the counter, his body facing you. “You really slumming it around with this loser? You like being around trash?” His comment made you see red.  How fucking dare he? You knew he kinda took the kook and pogue thing seriously but to call them trash. It’s like he forgets that you are also a pogue, that if it wasn’t for his father you would still be living on the cut with the rest of them. Which is true, he doesn't see you as a pogue or the help. 

To him you’re a kook, you belong with them, with him. “Yes I do. Now this trash is going to take itself out like the “help” do.” You say quoting help as a reminder that you also are the help. “I’ll see you around Jayj.” You tell the blonde looking at you with worried eyes before storming off. “Yeah see ya.” He calls out looking at Rafe for a moment. “Man I knew you were dumb but god damn. That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen you do.” He laughs and walks away to go serve other customers. Rafe knows he’s right, potentially just fucked up whatever the two of you had before it actually really started. More than he has already done by ignoring you for the past day and a half.

He makes his way back to the table, the guys watching as he takes out a wad of cash and throwing it on the table. “I gotta go.” He exclaims, rushing to try and catch you before you have the chance to fully leave. Racing out of the building he sees you in the distance looking for your car. Jogging he catches up to you grabbing your arm and yanking you back to him. “Let go of of me!” You yell at him turning and pushing his chest hard. “No! Come one just talk to me.” He exclaims fighting you to make you stay and hear him out. “Are you kidding me? Talk it out? You just insulted me and my friend.” “No I insulted him. I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

You scoff pulling your arm free from his grip. “So calling him trash just because he’s a pogue doesn’t insult me? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m also a pogue. I came from the cut just like he does. Does that shit actually really mean something to you? Are you that fucking stupid?” Rafe’s been called stupid many times in his life, from Ward, his sisters, hell even Rose has called him stupid. He knows that he makes things difficult and not many people like him. But hearing you call him stupid fills him with more rage then seeing Maybank think he can have his girl. “Hey don’t you fucking dare. Say whatever every the fuck you want but I ain’t stupid you fucking hear me.” 

He grips your cheeks, pinching them together. “Don’t you ever call be stupid again got it?” You should be scared, you’ve seen his temper before, seen him throw shit around the house or get into a fight with people at parties. You don’t know what to do being on the receiving end of his anger, then his words ring in your ear making you angry all over again. That ache in your pants is ignored as you wrench your head out of his hand. “I don’t know what your problem is but if you put your hands on me again you’ll regret it. You think just because everyone else is scared of you that I will be too? News flash buddy I’m not.” “Don’t call me buddy.” His voice was weaker than it was when he was yelling. 

“You don’t get it.” He states turning away from you and letting you go. “You’re right I don’t. You don’t talk to me for two days completely ignoring me after you got what you wanted. Then when I’m catching up with a friend you come in guns blazing as if the world is about to end. What’s wro-“ “He was touching and flirting with you.” He cuts off your rant, stunning you into silence. “So what if he was?” Rafe’s eyes darken hearing you defend him, telling him you actually enjoyed the attention that you were getting from another guy. “So what?” He laughs differently from his normal one, darker than what you are used to.

 “You really think I want some other guy touching you? Do you fuck him too?” “You’re jealous?” You meant it as a statement but it came out more like a question. “Yeah I’m jealous. All those guys in there would give up all their money just to get a chance with you. You don’t know them like I do, they would jump at the chance to get with a beautiful girl.” This is the third time he’s insinuated you are beautiful in some way. “Well maybe I should give them a shot. You obviously” His lips crash to yours, not allowing you to finish. This is different from the other kisses you’ve shared, more intense. He’s trying to tell you he’s scared of losing you, a crazy thought considering you aren’t even his.

How can he feel so strongly for you than he already did? It’s no secret that he’s always had a thing for you but this is different. The thought of you leaving him for another person actually terrifies him. Everyone has left him and he can’t stand the thought of you being another person who walks away. You try fighting him again but all efforts die when his tongue makes its way into your mouth. Rafe has this effect on you that you can’t explain.

There was always this soft spot for him but now that the lines have muddled together it’s hard to separate your feelings. Arms wrap around his shoulder pulling the two of you closer to each other, bodies pressed together. He pulls away from you for a second allowing the two of you to catch your breaths.  “Get in the car. I’ll meet you back at the house.” Fully pulling away you straighten out your clothes that got a little skewed from making out. He goes to walk to his truck, you stop him. “You can’t just get upset like that and make a scene. If this thing between us is going to work you have to talk to me, okay?” Eyes softening looking at your expression he takes a step forward placing a kiss on your forehead. “Okay.” With that he walks away leaving you standing in the middle of the parking lot wondering what the hell just happened.

The both of you race back to Tanny, Rafe’s truck behind your car. Reaching the house, you make your way inside waiting for him to get here, you lost him at a red light on the way over. You go to the kitchen to get water, the sound of the front door opens, Rafe’s footsteps echoing through the hall. “You think you can just go around and flirt with people?” He’s standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, white polo stretching around his biceps. “I thought we talk-” “No I’m not done.” He enters the room, staring at your body with dark eyes. “Strip.”

The grip on the water bottle tightens. “What?” Rafe is now in front of you, taking the water from your hands, whipping the stray drop on your lips. His thumb gently pulls your bottom lip before releasing it. “Strip and get on your knees. I need to teach you a lesson, I don’t like people thinking they can have what’s mine.” You look at him before following the instructions, staring up at him as he unbuttons his pants to take his dick out.

“Open.” You do without a second thought. “Good girl.” He mumbles, forcing himself in and setting a brutal pace. You have to catch yourself on his thighs just so you don’t fall, his hand holding you in place. Hips thrusting into you, your throat gladly accepts the intrusion, gargling on his length. Tears pooling on your bottom lashes, spilling down your cheeks, making Rafe go harder on you. “Look at you. A mess of spit and tears for my cock. Think maybank can do this for you?”

He’s still on about what happened at the club, to tell the truth you were too. His jealousy causes mixed emotions in you. On one instance you like seeing how possessive he was for you, on the other he resorts to insults to get his way. You give him a rough suck, eyes meeting his. “Fuck.” Rafe pulls out, yanking you up and bending you over the kitchen island. His body covering yours as he lines himself up, you're so wet that you aren’t worried about the pain. You were sure that he would fit, no preparation needed. “Told you I would bend you over and fuck the shit out of you.”

With that he slammed into you, moaning at the feeling of your walls stretching to accommodate his size. He halts when he’s ball deep, giving you a moment to gather yourself, only a moment. His thrust pushes you further into the island, sure enough to leave marks on your hip tomorrow morning. You don’t even care, he feels too good, the feeling of him stretching you is overwhelming. Whimpers keep leaving your mouth. Rafe grabs your arms, using them as leverage to fuck you harder as he keeps them pinned behind you back by one hand.

“Harder.” You moan out. Your body tingling from all the pleasure he’s giving you, your peak creeping around the corner embarrassingly fast. “Yeah? My little slut wants me to fuck her faster?” The degradation goes straight to your clit, walls fluttering around his length. He goes harder for a few minutes before pulling out, a whine of protest leaving you. “You don’t get to cum yet.” Rafe’s hot breath in your ear, his body heat leaving you too. 

He turns you around and hoists you onto the island, spreading your legs to step in between them. Left hand going to guide himself back into you, gliding across your fold to get you hip and bring you closer to the edge. In this angle he hits you deep, pushing against your cervix with each thrust.

Wrapping a hand around your neck, he squeezes lightly just enough to have your mind all fuzzy. You roll your eyes back grasping onto his bicep, manicured nails digging into his flesh leaving crest shaped marks. Rafe hisses at the sensation enjoying the flash of pain radiating in his arm. He starts fucking you hard, pounding into you having his dick spear into your g-spot. His unoccupied hand takes hold of your hair, pulling you till your foreheads are pressed together. His watch digging into the back of your neck, chested firmly pressed to each other, sharing each breath.

 “Squeezing my dick so fucking good baby. Can you hear how bad your pussy needs it?” Rafe moans out. You can, you’re so wet that every time he fucks into you squelching fills the room. You open your mouth but a particular thrust makes you moan instead. The hand in your hair retracts, your head leaning back slightly, it comes down on your cheek. It wasn’t hard enough to really hurt but enough to have pain heat your face. You moan liking the feeling of the smack, mostly just enjoying the fact that he lost himself to the point of causing a bit of pain. 

“You like me hitting you baby?” When you moan he smacks you again, annoyed that you won’t speak. “Use your words.” Rafe’s hand cupping your jaw staring at your fucked out expression, the hand around your neck tightens as his pace increases. You’re wetness mixing with his pre-cum leaking out of you, making a mess between you two. “I like it sir.” It comes out more like a breath but it counts. “My good little girl. You gonna cum for me? Hmm cum for daddy.” The new nickname was the nail in the coffin, the tightness in your belly finally snapping.

 This feeling was a new thought. It was so intense and it didn’t feel like an orgasim that you’ve had before. Your walls squeeze rage so tight that it pushes him out of you, your release gushing out getting everything wet. “Did you just fucking squirt?” Rafe pushes his dick back in, fucking you harder than before. “Such a dirty fucking slut, squirting and getting everything wet.” Moans keep getting pulled from you, pouring out into his mouth as he sloppily kisses you. “Oh fu-fuck… I’m gonna cum. Where do you want it.” “Inside please.” 

If telling him to cum inside you didn’t make him cum, it was the please that did it. Rafe ruts into you, hips stuttering as he fills you with each squirt of him cum. The warm feeling making you moan and flutter against him. He rides out both of your highs, hips finally stopping when they met yours, keeping you plugged. He want to stay there, wants to just feel you, wrapping his arms around your body. He’s enjoying knowing you are stuffed full of him, that his cum is so deep that it's forced out around him. Pulling out slowly you both hiss, you at the feeling of him spilling from you, and him as he’s fixated watching it come out. 

Kissing you for a moment, Rafe pulls away walking to the sink, wetting a rag before going back to clean you up. The touch is so gentle that it barely hurts. He helps you put your clothes back on dragging the both of you over to the living room. He throws himself down on the couch taking you along with him, pulling you closer . “What happened last night.” You hand playing with his shirt stops. “Huh?” Moving your head to his shoulder you look him in the eyes. “You were crying last night. What happened?” 

“Oh” Trying to shift away from him, being blocked by his arms tightening keeping you in place. “It was just some fight with my parents. It’s nothing.” “It is something, it made you cry.” You wish he would stop trying to pry, it’s not as if he cares. Honestly you expected him to flee once your clothes were back on. Pulling you to the couch was unexpected but asking you to talk about your parents was too much. Too personal. The lines of friendship and having feelings are already getting muddled as it is, this would just push it further. 

“Hey.” It’s soft, lips brushing my forehead before he places a kiss there. “You said we have to communicate, right? Talk to me.” With a sigh you tell him everything. How since you were barely able to work you gave them all your money last night. “They expected me to just hand over 4,000 dollars like it’s nothing. Then when I finally put my foot down I’m a disappointment. Nothing I do anymore is right.” Rafe’s hand rubs your arms trying to soothe you. 

“You aren’t a disappointment. If they can’t handle the fact you have your own life then fuck them.” You slap his chest lightly. “I’m serious. You’ve done more than enough for them, if they can’t see that then it’s their loss." A moment of silence, his words soaking in as you both lay there. “Thank you. I” You don’t know what else to say, fingers tracing shapes along his chest. 

“I know what you’re feeling. My dad um he always lets me know how much of a fuck up I am. I know what it’s like to be a disappointment, you don’t even come close.” The confession felt foreign on his tongue. Rafe never opened up to anyone about his feelings, anytime he tried he was met with a “man up” or “this is how a man handles things”, he’s scared of what you will say. He feels you slip from his arms, closing his eyes not wanting to see you leave him alone, trying to calm the burning behind his eyelids. 

“I don’t think you’re a failure.” Blue eye’s open to meet yours, there’s a hint of vulnerability from what you can see. You lean down pecking his lips, pulling away to get a better look of him. “You’re more than what he sees. It’s a shame he doesn’t take the time to notice.” It was your turn to leave him without words. He’s searching your eyes, your face, for any sign that you were lying. That you were pitying him after he devolved a hidden secret. He knows you’ve heard his Dad yell at him but this is different. 

He can put on a mask after talking to Ward when he has to see you. This time he tore the mask off, wanting you to see him without the facade. “I don’t think that about you.” “Huh?” You respond with confusion filling your face. “I don’t think that you’re trash. You are probably the best thing to come out of Outer Banks.” He’s not lying or at least you don’t think he is. The look in his eyes tells you that he actually means it so you smile down at him. “The best thing huh.” You tease. “Don’t push it.”

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Five.

Chapter Four. Chapter Six. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does it just make everything ten times more difficult?

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. angst. mention of illness.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5.7k

Author's Note - it's here!! as always, I can't thank you enough for your love, support and patience with this fic. us writers lead busy lives, and i've been trying my hardest to find the time to write whenever I can, so it means so much that you guys stick with me - even when things take longer than expected. love you all. you're angels. please feel free to spam my inbox with thoughts and suggestions - it always makes my day when you're all so passionate. mwah.

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

The sand is warm beneath your feet, cooling breeze cascading across your skin. The waves caress the shore in repetitive motions, lulling you into calm.

Sunlight beaming down, you shield your eyes and look up, sighing in contentment at the shades of blue that paint the sky.

A shriek and a laugh come from somewhere on your right. You look over and see a couple and their toddler running after each other, sprinting down the beach and into the ocean. The little girl can't stop giggling, tripping over her own feet as she chases her parents. Something tugs at your heart, deep and visceral.

It's been three months since you left home.

It's been three months since you saw Bucky.

He calls every few days, trying to give you the space you need while also keeping in touch. You have to resist the urge to call him every ten minutes. It's an improvement, at least. It was five minutes when you first moved.

He texts you good morning and goodnight everyday without fail, just to let you know he's there. You can't sleep until you get his text. It's like a lullaby, reassuring and soothing. Like a chamomile tea, warming and calming you from the inside out.

You think about him the most at night time. Your days are spent running around preparing for the bakery. Testing, retesting, writing up recipes, measuring out quantities. You want it to be perfect.

The baking is taking your mind off Bucky, for the moment at least. You've thrown yourself into your new role, eager and excited. Stella's ecstatic to have you around. You love that you're still just as close as you were, despite the time apart. Friendships like that are rare.

Lacie calls you most nights. She demands to know what you did that day, who you spoke to, what you made. It's like therapy, sitting and decompressing together over videochat. She's a lifeline, whether she knows it or not.

And of course, the most supportive people in your life - your parents. Your Mom is desperate to come and visit, begging that you let her know when you're less busy so you can show her around. She loves the sunshine just as much as you. A woman after your own heart.

On the nights when the doubt creeps in, unwelcome and dark, you remind yourself how lucky you are. Surrounded by people who adore you, support you, love you unconditionally. And then the night doesn't seem so dark. The light pours through the cracks.

You walk home from the beach, warmed and carried by the knowledge of love.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"This is ridiculous."

Stella's perched on the edge of your countertop, blush pink macaron in her hand.

"Good ridiculous?"

She scoffs, looking at you incredulously.

"Where did your confidence go? You never doubted yourself in school. Yes, good ridiculous. It shouldn't work, but it does."

Shouldn't work, but it does. Seems to be the story of your life at the moment.

"I need these on the menu."

"You don't think they're a little... pretentious? My best seller is a chocolate chip cookie. A honey and rosewater macaron isn't exactly a childhood favourite."

"Babe. That's the beauty of this. You can put whatever the hell you want out in your bakery. So what if they're unconventional? They're delicious. That's all that matters."

"Okay. Fine."

You relent, thinking about her earlier question. Where did your confidence go? When you graduated culinary school, you never doubted your abilities. Your technique, your flavours, your presentation - you had full faith in all of it. Now, you seem to be second guessing yourself.

You know it's because of your Tethering.

Before, you understood how the world worked. Good, bad, in between. Love, lust, the very clear difference between the two. You watched as other people found their forever person, and acknowledged their new journey.

And then you found Bucky. Or, Bucky found you.

Suddenly, the world you'd lived in before no longer made sense. The people, the places, the relationships, all impacted by the way you feel about your soulmate. Everything, everyone, everywhere, reminds you of Bucky. You're experiencing emotions you've never felt before. It's disorientating, confusing, complex. Your understanding of the world has changed completely.

It takes time to adjust.

No one ever talks about the way your Tethering turns your life upside down.

For some, it's completely positive. They enjoy the uprooting, revel in the change.

For others, it's a huge adaptation. One filled with tears, and confusion, and doubts.

Both are valid. Both are understandable.

You remind yourself of this every day.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"There's someone in the café that wants to speak to you."

The youngest waitress, Isabel, stands in the kitchen doorway, looking at you hopefully. You set down your piping bag and wash your hands, talking to her over your shoulder.

"Who is it?"

"No idea. Some guy. He's kinda hot. Brown hair, tall, beard."

Your heart skips a beat, breath caught in your lungs. Bucky jokes sometimes about coming to see you, but would he just show up announced? Do you want him to?

You can't feel it in your chest, you realise suddenly. You can't feel the ease, the relief, the knowing. Maybe being apart for so long has weakened your connection. The thought makes you strangely emotional.

You inhale carefully and thank her, before making your way out. It's almost closing time, and there's no one around other than the man stood with his back to you.

He turns around, and you realise quickly that your hope was misplaced. You've never seen this person before. He is handsome, admittedly. But he's not your soulmate.

"Hi."

"Hey. Are you the baker here?"

"I am."

He holds out his hand for you to shake, stepping closer.

"I'm Rafael."

You tell him your name, and he smiles, nodding.

"Forgive me if this is weird, but I had to meet you. To thank you properly, in person."

You don't say anything, so he continues.

"Let me, uh, explain. Sorry, should have started with that. My sister is sick. She's going through treatment currently, and it's been super hard on her. She's had no appetite whatsoever, and she's losing weight rapidly."

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a load of stuff from this place because my Mom was coming to visit. My sister tried your earl grey and lavender cookie, and ate the entire thing. It was the first time I've seen her eat for weeks. So, I came back and bought basically all of them every day."

You laugh, coming to a realisation. You wondered why those cookies were selling so well all of a sudden.

"I just wanted to say thank you. It might not seem like a big deal, but it's really huge for us. I also wanted to explain why all of those cookies were suddenly going missing at like ten in the morning."

You gesture at him to sit, the both of you taking a seat at one of the tables nearby.

You talk for almost an hour, listening intently to Rafael as he tells you about his family. He moved to California to be with his sister Maria when she got sick, no one else around to care for her. He asks about yours, and you tell him about your parents and their constant encouragement. He's also interested in how you got into baking, so you tell him all about culinary school, and the dreams your Grandma gave you when you were a kid.

"You're really talented, you know."

"I bet you say that to all of the bakers around here. But thank you."

His fingers brush yours where they're resting on the table, making you shiver.

"I'll make Maria her own box, if you like. I'll leave them behind the counter, just tell Isabel who you are."

"You'd do that for her?"

"Of course," you smile. "The idea that I'm helping someone with my silly little creations makes me really happy. We can work out a schedule, and I'll make sure I bake Maria some extras when I do my usual batch."

"You're incredible. Seriously. Thank you."

He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. The two of you are sat in the café as the sun sets, orange glow illuminating the room. You didn't expect to make a friend today. You're glad you have.

"Well, I should probably go and clean up the kitchen. You know where to find me, if you need anything. It was lovely to meet you, Rafael."

He rises when you do, smiling at you earnestly.

"You too. Nice to finally put a face to the cookie, so to speak."

You chuckle and show him out of the door, waving as he walks down the street. Suddenly, he turns around, striding back towards you.

"I'm so sorry if this is forward, and please feel free to say no, but... are you single? If you are, I'd love to ask you to dinner sometime."

The answer to that question is much more complicated than Rafael could ever imagine. So instead, you say,

"I'm not. I'm Tethered, actually."

His brows raise in surprise, but he's smiling.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I am. He doesn't live here, though. He lives back home, where my parents are."

"You guys are married?"

"No! Not yet. It's, uh... a complex... situation."

"Ah," he says, gentle, knowing look on his face. "I thought Tetherings weren't meant to be complex. Isn't that the whole point? That they're easy?"

You laugh, but it's not malicious. You're thinking about how sweetly naive he is, how he's got a huge storm coming his way one day.

"He's my Dad's best friend."

You're not sure why you're admitting this to a man you met an hour and a half ago, but you are. It's almost a relief, to get it off your chest again - to tell someone who's completely neutral, who doesn't know either of you.

"Woah."

"Yeah."

"That... is complicated."

"Yeah," you chuckle. "Understatement of the century."

Rafael leans against the wall, watching you intently. He's curious.

"How did your parents react?"

"They don't know yet."

His eyebrows raise almost comically high.

"Wait, what? How did you hide that? I thought it was supposed to be impossible to hide that you're Tethered. Although, I guess I had no idea, seeing as I asked you out."

"We wanted to figure it out for ourselves first, before telling anyone. And then I moved out here, so we're doing long distance. Like I said, complex."

"Understatement of the century," he laughs.

You look at each other for a moment, before he smiles.

"I'm sorry I asked you out. I wouldn't have, if I'd known."

"Please, don't apologise. I admire your... courage?" you grin. "And I appreciate you coming to see me today. I have like two friends here in Cali, so it's nice to feel like I've made another."

He smiles again, wider this time. Someone's going to be lucky to be Tethered to him one day, you think.

"I know it might surprise you, given my good looks and... courage," he chuckles, "but I don't have many friends out here either. I've been so focused on Maria, I haven't had time to socialise."

"The Universe works in funny ways, huh?"

"Sure does."

You wander back through the door, ready to close up for good this time.

"I'll see you tomorrow, for the cookies. And I'd love to meet Maria one day, if she's up for it."

"I'm sure she'd love to meet you. I'll bring her by."

"Thanks, Rafael."

"Of course. Thank you."

"Of course."

That night, when your Mom calls, you get to tell her you've made a new friend. That makes the both of you very happy.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're testing out a recipe in the kitchen of your new apartment when your phone rings.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, kiddo. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I am, actually. I'm settling in."

"Good, I'm glad. I don't wanna keep you on the phone for too long, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead, Dad. Anything."

"How would you feel about surprising your Mom for her birthday?"

"What kind of surprise?"

"I know you haven't been gone all that long, and I know it's kind of last minute, but, I was thinking you could come back to... be her gift? She really misses you, you know."

"I miss her too," you say softly, trying to keep your voice even. "I'll talk to Stella, see if we can figure something out. I'd really love to see you guys."

"We'd really love to see you too, sweetheart."

"I'll call you back later, when I've organised everything. Love you, Dad. See you soon, hopefully."

"Love you, kiddo. Proud of you, you know."

"I know," you smile. "I know."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The journey always seems shorter when you know you're going home.

You make it back in record time, salty ocean breeze whipping through your hair as you cruise along the roads. You take a deep breath and sigh it out, relief filling your lungs. It's good to be back.

You can't let your Mom see you, so you head straight back to your apartment. Your Dad told you they're in the process of renting it out, but they haven't made much progress yet. For now, it's still yours.

You inhale the familiar scent, smiling gently. There's something so particular about the way a place smells when you feel like you belong there. It's like home and comfort and ease all rolled into one.

You unpack a little, folding your clothes and tucking them into the dresser. You told Stella you'd probably stay a few days, wanting to spend as much time with your family as possible. You're rifling through the refrigerator and thinking about a grocery list when there's a knock at your door.

You know who it is.

A feeling of relief washes over your body, tension melting from your shoulders. Your lungs fill easier, your breath falls deeper, everything is a little brighter, a little more colourful.

You open the door to be met with the sight of Bucky Barnes.

He's in work pants and a white t shirt that's stained with grease and oil, heavy boots on his feet. He must have come straight from the Garage.

He looks at you carefully, as if he isn't sure that you're real. You rake your eyes over his form, trying to drink him in. All the pictures you've taken and saved don't do him justice.

He exhales, beaming grin appearing on his face.

"You're here."

You can't help but smile back, his happiness spreading through you.

"I'm here."

Bucky rushes forward and scoops you into his arms, enveloping you completely. He wraps himself around you as he tucks you into his chest, his grip tight and unrelenting. You breathe him in, overwhelmed with emotion and sensation. You didn't realise how much you needed this. Three months is too long.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, slight shake in his voice. He's holding off tears. So are you.

"My Dad wanted me to surprise my Mom for her birthday. It's all a secret."

He smiles, before leaning down to capture your lips in a knee buckling kiss. A kiss that says I missed you. A kiss that says I need you. A kiss that says please don't leave me again.

"How did you know?" you whisper when you pull away for air.

"I felt it. I think I knew the moment you arrived back in town. Thought my mind was playing tricks on me, for a second. But there's no mistaking that feeling. I had to come and see for myself."

"We're getting pretty good at this whole soulmate thing, huh?" you laugh, unaware of the tears running down your face. "I missed you, Buck. So much."

"I missed you too," he murmurs, kissing you again. "Didn't think I was going to survive, some days."

"Me too. Do you know how many times I stood with my car keys in my hand, ready to drive back to you?"

He chuckles and then sniffles, emotion dripping down his cheeks.

"I did exactly the same thing. So many times."

You wrap your arms around his middle, reveling in the way he smells like gasoline and home.

"How long are you here for?" he murmurs, worried he'll disturb the peace.

"I'm not sure. A good few days, at least."

"Okay," he breathes. "I can do a few days. We can do a few days."

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't know, to be honest. It was all kinda last minute."

"It's okay, pretty thing," he mutters into your hair. "It was a nice surprise."

"You're coming tonight, right? To my Mom's party?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

You stay wrapped up in each other for a little while longer, savouring his warmth. He rubs absentminded patterns across the skin of your back, committing the softness of it to his memory.

"I should probably get back to work. I took off with no warning."

"You're the boss. You're allowed," you chuckle.

He laughs with you, and the sound lights up your nerves, illuminates your bones. It settles itself in the hollows of your ribcage, tangles itself in your heartstrings. It's like medicine.

"Can't wait to see you tonight," you whisper. "Wear something cute."

"I always do," he winks, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Miss you already."

"Miss you more."

He looks at you, smiling.

"Man, we're the worst."

"Truly."

He kisses you once, twice, three times before finally leaving, reluctant to let you go. You spend the rest of the afternoon floating on air, relaxed and at ease. You haven't felt like this in a while.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your Dad sneaks you into the house through the side door, hiding you in the kitchen as he ushers your Mom through to the back yard.

It's decorated with floral garlands and streamers, flowers in vases covering the table he's set up. The golden, warm fairy lights illuminate the space, keeping it soft and intimate. He's been watching, carefully observing the way that she does things. He's recreated her party style perfectly.

There's a few of her closest friends waiting for her, gifts littering the spare chairs. Your Dad walks her outside, hands covering her eyes.

"Surprise!"

You watch through the door as your Mom gasps, grin on her face.

"Oh my God! You guys!"

She runs into your Dad, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I can't believe you managed to pull this off," she says in disbelief.

He sets her back down on the ground and kisses her gently.

"I got you something. I hope you like it."

That's your cue. You sneak out as quietly as possible, standing behind her.

"Happy Birthday, Mama."

She whips around to face you, shock written across her face. Her eyes well up, tears threatening to spill. Yours do the same, bottom lip quivering.

She throws her arms around you, tugging you into her.

"I'm so happy you're here, baby girl. I missed you so much."

"Missed you. You look beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you! Look at you, all sun kissed and glowy. You look so pretty, sweetheart."

You grin at her and she does the same back, your Dad beaming at your identical smiles.

"You're the best gift I've ever received. Then and now."

You're overwhelmed, suddenly, by the realisation that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how many miles are between you - your Mom will always be in your corner. Your Dad will always be in your corner. Bucky will always be in your corner.

You think, for a moment, that despite everything, you might just be okay.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The night goes off without a hitch.

You drink, you laugh, you sing. You and your Mom dance to ABBA, Bowie, Donna Summer. Your Dad joins in, and can't help but grin every time he watches his girls together.

What a life, he thinks. I'm the luckiest man in the world.

When everyone gets a little past tipsy, your Mom changes the music to something slower, jazzier, richer. Your Dad pulls her into his chest, holding her close as they move to the melody. You're sat at the table taking off your heels when Bucky slides into the seat next to you. He pulls your foot into his lap and undoes the strap, sliding the shoe off gently. He rubs his thumb into your sole, smirking when you groan.

"Have you been avoiding me tonight, pretty baby?"

His cheeks are flushed slightly, top few buttons of his shirt open. He's been drinking a little, his walls lowered more than usual.

"I have to."

"Oh yeah?"

"I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames every time you look at me," you whisper. "I kinda want to rip your clothes off, baby."

He groans at the nickname. You know exactly what you're doing.

"It only takes one look for a minute too long to figure out how I feel about you, Buck. They'll work it all out instantly."

"Dance with me," he murmurs suddenly. "Your parents are too busy staring into each others eyes. Come on, honey. One dance."

His big blue eyes bore into yours, and you know you're fucked. You're never going to be able to say no to him.

"One dance," you whisper.

He takes your hand and leads you to the decked area, brightened by the golden lights. Bucky slides a hand over your back, resting there carefully. You intertwine your fingers with his and step into him, embracing the warmth that rolls off his body.

I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday begins to play, and the two of you start to sway gently, eyes never leaving each others. Bucky pulls you in closer, and you melt into him. You don't care about the repercussions anymore.

Maybe it's the wine talking. Maybe it's something else.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"That was close!"

Your Mom's giggling as your Dad holds her, having just saved her from tripping down the front steps. Everyone's giddy, both from drinking and from laughing.

"Sweetheart. Bucky. Come back for lunch tomorrow. Your Dad ordered too much catering, and we need help eating it."

"Mama, are you sure?"

"I want to see you as much as possible before you go, babygirl. You too, Buck. I feel like we don't see you as much as we used to."

"He'll be there," you reply before he can protest. "We'll carpool, and I'll bring a strawberry and cream tart that I made for you."

She kisses you on the cheek, your Dad leaning in to kiss the other side.

"Love you both."

"Love you," they say in unison, laughing and yelling jinx. "Get home safe, you two!"

"I'll take care of her," Bucky chuckles. "Always."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Why don't you see my parents much anymore?"

You and Buck are walking home along the sandy coastal path, fingers intertwined and sides pressed together. You look up at him, frowning slightly when he hesitates.

"Don't lie to me, James. I can feel it, remember."

You place a hand on your chest to remind him, and he nods.

"It's not the same here without you."

You weren't expecting the sincerity. It knocks you off balance a little.

You stop when you reach a wooden bench, sitting down and pulling him with you.

"So you're isolating yourself from the people who love you?"

He smiles, sadness rife in his eyes. Your tough guy act is crumbling.

"Not on purpose. It just kinda happened."

"You promised you'd talk to me, Buck. Especially if it got too hard. You need to accept support from people, or everything is going to come crashing down."

"I know. I know. But every time I go to their house, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I go to the beach, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I walk past your building, I'm expecting you to be there, waiting for me to pick you up. Even when I'm sailing, I can't stop thinking about that day we spent on the boat."

"The other day I had to make three batches of buttercream, because I messed up the first two. I was so distracted thinking about you that I split them both."

He laughs, then, wholehearted and genuine. You can't help but join him, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all.

"Bucky, you have to promise that you'll keep going, even without me. You have to see my Mom and Dad like you used to, you have to still sail and go to the beach. You can't put your life on hold for me."

He takes a deep breath, sliding an arm around your shoulders to pull you in closer.

"Okay. I promise."

You whip your head around to look at him.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that, honey. You're right. I've been waiting for you to come back, so I can start living again. But life is still happening, whether you're here or not."

"Wise words, wise man," you smile. "Not a minute goes by where I don't think of you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know. I feel it."

You watch as he brings your linked hands to his chest, placing them there. You rest your head on his shoulder, lulled into calm by the steady melody of his heart. You swear it beats to the rhythm of your name.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The two of you can't bear the idea of separating, so Buck comes home with you.

"Have you got a blanket?" he asks as he's kicking off his shoes.

"I have. What for?"

"The couch."

You process for a moment before it clicks.

"You're not sleeping on the couch, Buck."

"No?"

"No. I want your ridiculous, radiator-like body heat in bed with me."

He smiles, all giddy and lopsided, before striding across the room to you. Cradling your face in his rough hands, he kisses you with fervour. He's making up for lost time.

You tangle your fingers into his hair, tugging and pulling, smirking when he groans. He retaliates by grabbing your ass and picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you through to your bedroom, lips never leaving yours.

Throwing you down onto the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head, watching you hungrily as you do the same with your dress. You're left in your underwear, leaving little to the imagination.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs. "Makes me want to cry."

You reach for him as he settles on top of you, your hand sliding along his stubbled cheek.

"I'm so glad you're feeling what I'm feeling," you whisper. "I'd think I was going insane otherwise."

Bucky kisses you again, before trailing his lips across your jaw, your ear, your neck. He's careful not to leave any marks, as much as he wants to. You glide your hands along the expanse of his shoulders, his back, his biceps. He's so strong, so broad. It makes you ache.

"So fuckin' pretty," he mumbles against your chest. "Like a goddamn dream."

You throw your head back as he attaches his mouth to your tits, nipping and sucking as he goes. Your hands are in his hair again, reveling in the way his groans vibrate through you.

Bucky slots his knee in between your legs as he kisses across your chest, smirking when you grind your hips into it. You chase the friction as best you can, moaning when it hits you just right.

"Needy baby. You don't want my fingers? My mouth? No? Just my knee?"

You nod, then shake your head. You're not sure what you're asking for, drunk on him already.

"Please, Buck. Anything."

"I'll give you whatever you want if you keep saying my name like that."

He makes quick work of pulling your underwear down your legs, swiping his fingers through your wet heat.

"Oh, fuck," he chokes. "Fuck, honey. Is this all for me? Hmm?"

"Yes, yes, yes."

"Yeah?"

"It's yours, Buck. I'm yours."

Bucky drops his head forward, bumping your nose with his.

"I think that's my favourite thing you've ever said," he mumbles against your mouth.

You reach up to kiss him, sucking his tongue before biting at his lips. You can't get close enough. Every inch of your skin is pressed to his, and you still want more.

Bucky crawls down the bed, situating himself between your legs. He nudges at you with his nose before diving in, lapping at you like a man starved.

You'd forgotten what people said about sex when you're Tethered, but it all comes back to you now. Everything is heightened, your senses on overdrive. It's like Bucky has the handbook to your body, and all he has to do is read the instructions the Universe has given him.

He's got you teetering on the edge in no time, right on the precipice. No ones ever made you feel like this. It feels like some sort of small miracle is happening, an otherworldly connection.

"Give it to me, honey baby," he murmurs into you. "Let me see how pretty you look when you come."

You tug at his hair as you reach your climax, the vibrations of his groan only prolonging your release. Bucky helps you ride it out, only ceasing his action when he's satisfied you're satisfied.

He rests his head against your thigh and looks up at you as you come down, breathing heavily.

"You good?"

"So good," you grin. "Never better."

"Me neither," he whispers, crawling up your body to kiss you again. You taste yourself and whine, desperate to feel closer to him.

"Need you," you demand against his lips. "Need you more than anything."

"I know, baby," he soothes as he smooths the hair back from your face. "Gonna give you everything you want. Anything in the world."

You're on the verge of tears again, completely overwhelmed. He's looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. You think maybe you would, if he asked you to.

Bucky slides home in one gentle thrust, easy as breathing. The both of you exhale, savouring the moment. It's like nothing either of you have ever felt before.

You pull his face down to you, resting your foreheads against each other.

"Buck, I-"

"I know," he breathes. "Fuck, I know."

"Need you to move, baby."

He nods and kisses you sweetly, before pulling his hips back and gliding forward. The angle is just right, both of you keening.

"Fuck, honey. So pretty. So tight. Fuck."

Bucky sets a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too slow. It's like he can read your mind, knowing exactly what you need. All you can say is his name as stars cloud your vision.

He slides his hand down your front, rubbing perfect circles on your clit with his fingers. You clamp down on him and he groans, low and gutteral.

"Need you to come, pretty baby," he whispers hoarsely. "Please. Waited so long for this. Please."

The desperation in his tone is what throws you into your release, muscles tensing and back arched. You grip his biceps, scratching your nails into his sun kissed skin.

Bucky can't hold on any longer, falling over the edge with you. The way he says your name as he does will be ingrained in your mind forever.

He drops his weight onto you entirely, no longer able to hold himself up. You wrap your arms around him, drawing absent minded patterns across his back. You're both sweating and panting. You're both completely content.

"Holy shit," he whispers after a while.

"You think it's gonna be like that every time?" you ask, grinning.

Bucky rolls off you and lands on the bed beside you, pulling you into his chest.

"Honey, just you wait. I've got moves you've never seen."

You snort, unable to hold in your laughter. You're floating on cloud nine, satiated and warm.

"You're the worst," you giggle, running your fingers over his abs gently.

The two of you stay intertwined for hours, enjoying the way your bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. You both drift in and out of sleep, conversing in the gaps. At some points, you just lay in silence, completely comfortable. No one needs to say anything. You both know what the other person is thinking.

Eventually, the sun rises, casting the room in a golden orange glow. Bucky looks like an angel, illuminated by the morning light. You wonder for a second if he is, sent down as a gift to you.

Suddenly, you feel an intense sadness in your chest. You look up at Bucky from where you lay across him, and see a single tear drip down his cheek.

"I don't want you to go."

The only sound that can be heard is his sorrow hitting the pillow.

"I don't think I want to go."

He strokes your hair softly, taking a deep breath to try and get a handle on his emotions.

"You have to, baby. It's your dream."

Your bottom lip wobbles for a second, before the words come spilling out.

"You're my dream."

Bucky sniffles, and you continue.

"I could have nothing, but I have everything if I have you."

You sit up and Bucky does too, capturing your lips in a tear stained kiss.

"We'll be okay, my honey girl."

You crawl into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his warmth bleed into your bones.

"I know," you say, unsure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.

You know you'll be okay. It just doesn't feel like it right now.

You wonder how many times you can keep leaving and coming back before one of your hearts breaks for good.

tag list part one

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[flemingsfreckles]

First Snow

Synopsis: based on this request!

Warning: none, mention of showering together (non-sexual nudity) but nothing descriptive

WC: 2.1k

A/N: hi, I had some personal stuff happen which pretty much ruined my motivation for writing, I wasn’t even sure I’d ever be posting on this account again… but here we are.

“Okay do you have a coat packed?”

“Yeah it’s right here.” You pull out the two hoodies, one of Jessie’s that you had stolen and one of your own.

Jessie just stares at you. “Babe.”

“What?” You shrug as you shove the sweatshirts back into your suitcase.

“I mean a real coat. A winter coat.” She grabs a large puffy coat out of her own bag and holds it up to you.

“That is what I wear in the winter.” You point at the blue and green hoodies that still suck out of your bag.

“Yeah, in Australia, Canada isn’t Australia.” Jessie throws her hands out, looking in confusion at you.

“It’ll be fine!” You brush her off with a wave of your hand.

“No, you’ll be cold.”

“It can’t be that cold.” Jessie just shakes her head at you, a smile creeping across her face. She’d just let you figure out how cold it was on your own.

Turns out, it was that cold. You felt it in your lungs as soon as you stepped off the plane. Jessie took a deep breath as if she was enjoying the sharp sting of the air in her lungs. She must have noticed the way your breath got caught in your throat.

“Cold eh?”

“I mean it’s fine.” You couldn’t let her have the satisfaction of being right already.

“Good because this isn’t even cold yet.” Your eyes widened at her words.

When you arrived at Jessie���s childhood home she gave you a quick tour before she stopped at a window looking out into the backyard. “See the lake?” She says peering over your shoulder and pointing out.

“Yes.”

“It’s frozen.”

“No shit.” You say, grin on your face. You could see the water wasn’t moving, you could tell it had frozen over.

“That’s how cold it gets.” Jessie whispers in your ear. You roll your eyes at her. She turns, giving you a quick smile before walking away and down the stairs to find her parents.

You spent the evening in the living room with Jessie’s parents. You’d met them a few times, at the World Cup, again at the Olympics, a few times when they had visited Jessie when she lived in London, but this was your first time in Canada and your first time meeting them in their own home.

Jessie’s family was warm and welcoming just as they had been every time you had met them prior. The four of you sat around the table having dinner before quickly moving to play cards where Jessie was teased about being overly competitive, a trait of hers you knew all too well.

“Did you see it’s supposed to snow tonight?” Jessie’s mom asks, directing her question to no one specifically.

“Really?” Your girlfriend pipes up, looking excitedly between you and her mom. “She’s never seen a real snow.” Jessie sticks her finger in your direction.

“I have.” You quickly defend yourself. You had always lived by the beach, and while it cooled down in the winter, never enough for a snow storm. London commonly rained, you’d only gotten a light snowing last year.

You had rolled over in the middle of the night to see the streetlights illuminating the tiny dots falling. You had immediately sat up, poking your knee into the thigh of your girlfriend. “Jess.” She shifted but didn’t open her eyes so you tried again. “Jessie, wake up.” You shoved her a bit harder, leaning down to kiss her forehead, hopefully easing the mood you knew she’d be in for you waking her up. “Babe.”

“What?” Jessie’s voice heavy with sleep mumbled out at you. She kept her eyes closed but tilted her head in the direction of your voice.

“It’s snowing, I’ve never seen snow.” At the sound of your words, you’re met with Jessie’s brown eyes. A small smile breaks onto her face as she watches you look excitedly between her and the window. That smile immediately fades when she herself turns to see what would be considered no snow by Canadian standards.

“Look!” You point, sitting up to watch out the window, still excited seeing the flakes fall for the first time.

“Oh babe.” Jessie gently rubs your back as she softly shakes her head. “That’s hardly a snow, it won’t even be on the ground by morning.”

“Oh.” You feel the smile fade on your face, you hadn’t known, in your mind you had expected to walk out to white covered streets in the morning.

“Come here.” Jessie grabbed your arm gently pulling you down into her embrace. She adjusted before gently kissing your forehead just as you had done to wake her up. “I promise, I’ll take you to see real snow some day.”

“The eighth of an inch we got in London doesn’t count, I’ve told you that.” Jessie jokingly rolled her eyes at you. “You’ll get to hopefully see real snow while we’re here.”

It wasn’t long until you and Jessie had called it a night, feeling tired from the long travel day, you both cuddled into Jessie’s bed, under piles of blankets and drifted into sleep.

“Get up.” You feel Jessie’s sharp elbow poking into your side, you roll over and try to register why she’d be waking you up in the middle of the night.

“What?”

“Get up, get dressed, we’re doing something.” She whispers to you before clicking on the bedside lamp.

You flip over again, staring at the freckled face before you. “You’re joking right?” The alarm clock sitting behind Jessie’s curls tells you it’s 2:47 in the morning, you can’t fathom why she’d be waking you up at this hour.

“No, get up.” She yanks the blanket off of your body making you squeal at the sudden chill. “Dress warmly.” She says as she walks over to where her suitcase was sprawled on the ground and begins getting changed. You watch as she strips from her sleeping shirt and shorts. “Quit staring.” Jessie teased when she turns and catches you watching her change. You felt your face flush and you broke your eyes away from her freckle covered skin to move to your own suitcase. Jessie tosses an actual winter coat in your direction, insisting you put it on. You quickly get dressed and follow Jessie out of her room and down the stairs.

“Come here.” Jessie turns you facing toward her before she holds up a blindfold. “Can I put this on you? I want to show you a surprise.”

“Yeah.” You say as she gently slides the blindfold over your eyes.

“You can’t see right?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, we’re gonna walk, I’ve got you though.” Jessie stands by your side, her arm wrapping tightly around your waist. You feel her start to gently pull you and you follow her step by step slowly through the house. You hear the sound of a lock and a door opening and you’re suddenly hit in what little exposed skin you have by a rush of freezing air.

“Okay, step carefully out.” You follow her instructions and hear the door close behind you. Jessie’s fingers find the edges of the blindfold and she gently pulls it up, revealing a sight like no other to you.

The backyard was covered in a thick layer of snow, real snow. The same real snow that continued to fall from the sky. The same snow that you felt melting as it hit your already rosy cheeks. You turned to Jessie, the flakes catching in her hair, her cheeks equally rosy and her smile as big as can be.

You pull your eyes away from admiring Jessie’s face and you start to look around. You were standing in what was probably 6 inches of snow, admiring the way the trees were glistening in the moonlight, the way everything seemed peaceful. It was like you were living inside of a snow globe.

“Wow.” The only word you’re able to come up with as you continue to look around with wide eyes, feeling a sense of childlike excitement in your stomach, the same feeling you’d get trying to go to sleep the night before your birthday, or the sense of adventure you had when you’d get on a plane and feel it lift from the ground. Everything around you was blanketed in the fluff.

You’re pulled out of your admiration for the view by the feeling of something hitting your side before it disintegrates. You turn to Jessie, looking guilty with another ball of snow in her hand.

“Don’t you dare.” You hold a hand out at her and before you can get another word out, she flings the ball at you hitting you square in the chest, some of it coming up to hit your face as it explodes. “You’re gonna pay for that Fleming.” You say before you lunge at her.

Jessie manages to slip from your grip and she takes off running around the yard. You suddenly learn it’s a lot harder to run through snow than it looks. You stumble every couple of steps while Jessie snickers to herself as she watches you chase after her. You manage to hit her with your own amateur snowballs a few times, catching her legs and her back before she turns on you and it’s now you running from her.

Your lack of experience in snowboots and the snow catch up to you and within a minute Jessie’s arms have wrapped around your midsection and you both trip ending up in a tangled pile on the ground. You’re both laughing as you recover from the chaos, feeling yourself sink into the white layer around you. You shiver at the contrast in feeling the cold snow on your back, neck, and down your legs while Jessie’s body heat keeps your front warm.

“I told you it’s cold.” Jessie says, pushing herself up slightly to look at you, a smug look across her face.

“Ehh it’s not too bad.” You try to play it off, it was a lot colder than you expected.

The girl above you leans in, placing her lips on yours and you revel in the warmth of her kiss. “You’re lucky I lent you a jacket.” She says as she rolls off to lay beside you. She doesn’t say anything before starting to swing her legs outward before repeating a similar action with her arms swinging them down to her sides then back up again.

You look over, admiring the love of your life. The way her curls peaked out from under the hat she wore. You started at how the snowflakes caught in her hair, making it sparkle. You admired her rosy cheeks, both from chasing each other around and from the cold air. What you admired the most was the way she was smiling. Her eyes would flutter open, looking up at the snow falling for a moment before closing again, all while she had a huge grin across her face. You loved seeing her this happy, this carefree, this was your Jessie.

“You’ve got a staring problem today.” She teases you again just as she had while she was changing. “Copy what I’m doing.” You don’t ask why, you never had to with Jessie, she said jump you did have to ask how high, you just would, you trusted her, whatever she asked, you’d do your best. So you do, you mimic her movements swinging your own legs and arms.

Jessie stands up, offering out her hand to you, she helps you stand and turns back to face where you had been lying. “Snow angels.” She nods her head at the imprints your bodies had made. You go to answer but when you open your mouth your teeth chatter. Jessie laughs, looking over at you as you shiver.

“Alright, time to go in.” Still holding your hand she pulls you inside where you both take off the big puffy coats, still left in cold clothing. You leave your boots at the mat and follow Jessie back up the stairs and into her childhood bedroom. She moves into the bathroom that was joined between Jessie’s bedroom and what was formerly her sister's bedroom. You hear the shower start running.

“Come, we’ll warm up in the shower.” She says as she begins to strip off her own cold and wet layers. You follow in suit before climbing into the steaming water. The two of you shower together, warming back up slowly between the steaming water and Jessie’s presence, before dressing again in your clothes. You climb into bed, eager to get back into the warm layers of blankets while Jessie moves to her window, adjusting the curtains so that you could watch the snow falling. She then cuddles up behind you in bed, her arms wrapping around your waist, holding you tight against her front.

“I promised I’d show you a real snow.”

[scientia-rex]

I had one of those days where I just had too many feelings to fit inside my skin, and I’ll have to recover from it.

Telling a patient she has breast cancer. Telling a patient she has dementia. Calling a patient at 6:30pm, still sitting at my desk, because even though I finished seeing patients at 5pm, I have work to do. Doing an endometrial biopsy on a patient who may have cancer. Calling a company so I can get the password to a website so I can recredential every three months so my clinic can charge for my work. Working with an assistant on whom I’ve also done an endometrial biopsy. My regular MA is out with COVID. I’m getting a year-end bonus for the first time in my life. Some idiot kid thinks I don’t know how ears work. I saw back to back ADHD patients; one is a trans woman who paused her transition because she can’t afford it. One is a kid who did loops around the exam room chairs the whole time I talked to his mother. His mother was frosty towards me at first because I was running late because I was telling a patient she had breast cancer, and she was crying, and her daughter was crying, and when her partner died of a different cancer last year the hospice workers were homophobic and she’s afraid of hospice. A different idiot kid thinks I don’t know how soap works. The ADHD kid’s mom warmed up to me when she realized I cared and knew what I was talking about. The kid said, “AHEM. What’s up, chicken butt?” I laughed and high fived him. I gave his mom the Vanderbilt forms to assess ADD symptoms across multiple environments. I saw a patient who had a certain air about her that I recognized intimately, and at the end I asked what she did, and she was a doctor, too. I knew it had to be something like that. When I explain medical concepts I aim for lay language, but I can see when people get faintly impatient with me for it, and I’ll add in more and more technical language and see when they start looking confused; she didn’t. I could watch every new patient take in my brightly-colored hair, combined with the utterly forgettable rest of me, all browns and grays and dress slacks and comfortable shoes, because the hair is my one concession to my deep need for attention; in the exam room, I need to recede into the background so the patient can be the focus. Studies have shown that patients don’t like it when doctors disclose that they have the same medical issues. It might seem like bonding, but it shifts the focus away from where it belongs: the patient. That island of time is theirs. The breast cancer patient’s daughter said to me, “Thank you for spending the time with us. I know you didn’t have the time.” And I said, “From each according to their something or other, to each according to their needs. It’s lukewarm Marxism.” I don’t think she heard it all, or took it all in, which was good. I had a migraine that made my head feel three sizes too big with a steady drumbeat of pain despite taking two Ubrelvy, two Aleve, and two Tylenol, plus 100mg of caffeine and a propranolol and a Zofran. You have to disconnect each patient from the next. I can’t bring the breast cancer patient’s grief and heaviness into a room where a little boy is doing hand-stands and telling me silly puns. One of the nurses brought me a sublingual Toradol from a stash—someone’s purse, somewhere—because she wanted me to feel better, and I felt tears stinging my eyes because she cared about me. I couldn’t afford to cry. I just told a woman she has dementia and she doesn’t believe me. I told her to bring her husband to our next visit. I ended my clinic day doing an endometrial biopsy, trying to pass a uterine sound through a stenotic cervix, but I’ve done this before enough times to know to have the set of dilators ready. I dilated her cervix gently but firmly, with the back pressure of the tenaculum, until I could get the sound in, and then I left the sound there while my assistant handed me the sampling pipelle, because if you remove it there’s a good chance the cervix will tighten down again and you’ll have to repeat the dilation. The patient was holding her husband’s hand and chanting to him under her breath, in pain despite the Xanax I gave her.

I’m a doctor. It’s everything to me.

[livwritesstuff]

i’ve been very quiet so srry - my week started with my annual performance review (which went well) and ended with an emergency surgery (also went well) so…a lot going on to say the least

this is a deleted scene from the first chapter of plant a seed

When Robin called, Steve and Eddie were in the phase of newborn parenthood where they froze every single time the phone rang (because said newborn was napping more often than not and when she was, there was a 50% chance minimum the phone would wake her up).

So when Robin called and the ringing of the phone broke the otherwise peaceful silence, Steve froze and he waited. When the baby didn't wake up, Steve exhaled a sigh of relief and answered the call.

"This is Steve."

"Hey Steve-o!"

Steve immediately recognized the voice as Robin's – of course he did, even if he hadn't heard it since she and Nancy left for a work trip in Japan a little over a month ago.

“Oh shit,” Steve said, because this means that Robin and Nancy are finally home, finally back in their Boston apartment fifteen minutes away from his and Eddie's in Cambridge instead of the opposite side of the entire world, “You’re home!”

“Yep,” Robin replied, popping the P, “That plane was a million degrees, I’m pretty sure. No more August flights if I have any say in it. Anyways – wanted to let you know we made it back unscathed. What’s new with you guys?”

“Uh…” Steve began, not totally sure where to start, because Robin didn't know about the baby he and Eddie had been placed with two weeks ago and she certainly didn't know that they're going to adopt her (because they'd landed on that decision that very day – about two hours ago, to be specific), “Well–”

“Hey, do you still have those placements?" Robin interrupted, "The kids who like to read the Goosebumps books?”

“Oh,” Steve blinked, “No. They went back with their mom a couple days after you left.”

“Damn. Been a while. Forgot this trip was longer than usual – wait, so are you between placements now, then? Hey, we should finally make that trip to P-Town!”

"Might need a raincheck on that," Steve said with a laugh, because at the moment a trip to the goddamn grocery store required at least a day's worth of planning, "We've got another placement right now – a newborn. We've had her for, uh, for just under two weeks, pretty sure."

“Shit, a newborn?" Robin repeated.

Steve faintly heard Nancy's voice, though he couldn't make out exactly what she was saying. He listened as Robin recounted to her what he'd just said, then started to laugh.

"Nancy just said that if she misses out on a chance to hold a new baby, she'll kill you," Robin told him, "Any idea when she might move on?”

Steve paused for a second. He and Eddie had decided earlier that they wouldn’t be telling anyone about the baby until the adoption was finalized, but…it’s Robin. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever kept a secret from Robin before, certainly not something this big and certainly not for very long.

He has to tell her.

“We’re, uh, we’re actually adopting her.”

Robin was silent.

Then –

“Holy shit – Steve.”

And then –

“I’m coming over right now. Immediately. Wait–” Robin stopped, “Damn, I can’t be a dick and come over unannounced anymore, can I? Because you guys have a baby. A baby. And she’s gonna be yours? What the fuck? Wait, let me start over.”

Robin paused long enough to take a deep breath.

“Steve Harrington – my best friend who’s finally fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming a dad – when will you allow us to come and be formally introduced to our niece?”

Truth be told, Steve wouldn’t say no to a visit from Robin and Nancy that day (especially after the our niece comment), but their case worker had just started faxing over all the paperwork to get the ball rolling on the adoption process and Steve has a feeling that he might catch Eddie trying to fill that shit out as it came out of the machine so tonight they might be a little occupied.

"Tomorrow?" he suggested.

"Morning?" Robin added.

Steve laughed, "Sure. Tomorrow morning."

"Bright and early, dad. Holy fuck, I can't believe you're a dad."

"You can't?"

"No, I totally can."

[deanwritings]

The Guest House - Chapter 10

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Series Summary: Dean Winchester is going through a nasty divorce. He doesn't have much left to his name, but what he does have is his house. Leave it to his soon-to-be ex wife to find a way to even ruin that for him. Enter Y/N, who is looking to get away from life for a bit, and stumbles right into the middle of it all.

The Guest House Master List

Word Count: 3,180

A/N: Know it's been a while and appreciate everyone's patience!

It takes a little over an hour for Dean to finish up the two cars. Having been taught your lesson, you handed Dean the correct tools he requested, though he did remember to say “please” each time he asked. 

From time to time he would explain what he was working on, not that it meant much to you, but you were starting to pick up on a few things, which you were hoping to take home with you so you wouldn’t feel so helpless the next time you went to get an oil change.

“So how did you even meet Rick?” You lean against a pillar as Dean rolls out from the Stingray, shutting off his head lamp as he stands. He lets out a chuckle at your question. 

“I’ve actually known him most of my life.” Dean gently rests against the hood, crossing his arms. 

You just raise your eyebrows, hoping he’ll elaborate. 

“My dad used to come here all the time growing up, and so did Rick.” He continues. “They were around the same age and they kept in touch as they got older. My dad used to bring us up here when we were kids. I loved it, but Sam and my mom would spend our visits up here swimming at the lake, but my dad and I would be sitting in those bleachers.” He points out the windowed garage door to the grand stands.

“It would be July and it could be 120 degrees between the heat and the cars, but there was nowhere else we’d rather be.” He reminisces with a smile but he keeps his eyes on his oil-stained boots. 

“Rick is cut from the same cloth. He stopped coming around as I got older, got busy with his fancy life in the city, but when he ended up buying this place, he reached out to my dad and I, would get us in the ‘VIP’ suite, which were just his seats. He was excited when he found out I started working in Bobby’s shop, and then a couple years later he called me up to take a look at a vintage car he was going to buy. Said he had hired a guy but didn’t trust his report, so needed someone he could count on. I was just twenty-one, but he trusted every word I said, and I’ve been working for him ever since.”

You smile across at Dean, not that he sees it. Whether intentionally or not, Dean was opening up to you, more of him becoming unraveled. And there’s one question you’ve been wanting to ask him for weeks now, and you finally felt comfortable enough with him to post it.

“And what’s the deal with you and Nick?” You ask quietly, nervous that you may be overstepping, but hell, he brought you to a weekend away at his mom’s house. You were well past acquaintance status. 

You think back to that night at Max’s, your first week here, when you had gotten cozy with the blonde-haired beau before Dean had stepped in. Before Dean gave a shit about you, he did that night. And you always wondered why.

Dean takes in a deep breath, keeping his eyes downcast. 

“It started back in high school. It was just teenage stuff; he was the football star, I played basketball. We were both really competitive and it was just a lot of stupid ego stuff. But when Sammy started high school my senior year, Nick took an interest in him, and decided to make Sam’s life hell because of me. He bullied the poor kid almost every day. So I took it upon myself to make sure he never bothered Sam again.” A smirk slowly begins to rise. “Got suspended for a week because of it and almost wasn’t allowed to walk graduation, but it was worth it.”

“And what exactly did you do?” His eyes flash up to you, a devilish gleam in them. 

“I may or may not have rigged his airbags to go off when he turned the radio on one day after school.”

You blanch.

“You can do that?” Dean nods.

“But how did they know that was you? Even if he suspected you, there would have been no way to prove it.”

“Because I was waiting for him in the parking lot and after they went off, I pulled him out of the car and told him if he ever bothered Sammy again I would cut his brakes and make it look like an accident.” Dean doesn’t flinch at the threat, and neither do you. You had two younger siblings, both brothers. You understood. Being the older sibling also meant being the protector, and you had stepped in from time to time when your brothers needed it. 

Dean looks back to you.

“That was the end of it though. Never bothered me or Sam again.” He wipes his hands against each other before shoving them in the pockets of his coveralls. 

“Well I guess I really do owe you for saving me from ‘the town’s biggest asshole’ then.” You smile at him, using his own words from that night. Words you had thrown back at him in rash rage. 

“I would say so.” He agrees, pushing off the car and closing the gap between you. Your eyes stalk the movement, not missing a step until he stops an arm’s length from you. His eyes have that devilish sparkle that twists your stomach in the best way.

“And what exactly do you have in mind?” You challenge, standing up straighter even though your knees feel weak. 

“How about dinner?” His voice is low, shared only between the two of you even though there’s no one else around. 

Your eyes widen.

“You’re asking me out?” You gawk, practically breathless. His lips slowly curve up and he doesn’t break your gaze.

“I’m saying you can make it up to me by taking me out to dinner.” Your face and stomach drop, irritation rising like bile up your throat.

“Are you serious?” You cross your arm and drop your hip. 

“Sure am, sweetheart.” He purrs. You respond with a heavy breath out of your nose.

“I literally just bought you lunch the other day.” You snap. “Explain to me why it’s my responsibility to keep feeding you?” You bite, ignoring the fact that you had bought him lunch the other day as a thank you for taking you hiking. But he didn’t need to be reminded of that. 

Instead of waiting for an answer, you side step from him and walk towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Dean calls from behind you. You turn on your heel and stare him down.

“Aren’t you done?” You huff, crossing your arms again. “I was headed back to the car.” You throw your thumb over your shoulder.

Dean just annoyingly smiles back at you.

“We’re not taking the truck.” You raise your eyebrows.

“What are we going to walk back?” You retort. 

Dean turns on his heel in response and walks further into the garage.

You wait a second, then two, to see if he’s going to turn around, but he doesn’t. You tap your foot, but Dean still doesn’t turn back.

You drop your arms with a heavy breath and start after him, following him a few stalls down until you see him leaning into the open door of a shining black car, the body sleek and clearly not from this century.

“Is this another one of Rick’s?” You step up to the hood, tempted to reach out and run your fingers down the polished onyx. 

“Nope,” Dean’s voice is muffled through the windshield as he rummages around inside.

“Can you answer a question that doesn’t require me to continue asking you questions?” You scowl, starting to have enough of this little game of his. 

His laugh just echoes as he pushes out of the car and rests on the open door.

“Remember I told you about my baby?” You squint your eyes, the conversation ringing a vague bell. 

You suck in a breath. 

“Your car.” You snap your finger then point it at him and it comes back to you, remembering how absurd you thought it was when Dean shared he called his prized car “baby.” 

Dean raises his eyebrows with a smile, opening his arms wide.

“Y/N, meet Baby. Baby, meet Y/N.” You frown at his exaggerated antics.

“Please don’t make me say “hi” to the car.” You groan, wondering exactly how much Dean loves this car. 

Dean pats the hood and leans in.

“Don’t worry, Baby. She can be nice when she wants to be.” He coos. Your eyes bulge and mouth gapes. 

“Should I be concerned about you? Is this what happens when you spend your life around car fumes?” You cross your arms, half kidding. 

Dean just looks back at you with a grin. 

“Get in the car will ya?” He orders before he dips down and plops into the driver’s seat and closes his car.

You stare at him for a moment through the windshield as he fiddles with something. 

Aunt Rose, help me. You say up a silent prayer before you walk around the car and take a seat onto the white leather bench. 

The inside is immaculate; conditioned, tan upholstery, a shining steering wheel, and a dashboard expertly restored to its former glory.

You run a hand along the felt ceiling, the fibers tickling your fingertips. 

“You really built this car?” You ask in awe as you continue to take in the refurbished wonder. 

Dean presses a button on a clicker attached to his visor, and the garage door in front of you begins to rise, sun chasing in through the windshield. 

“Sure did,” Dean turns the key in the engine, the car roaring to life before Dean flicks down the gear shift into drive. “Got her in a scrap yard for a couple hundred bucks, then would use my paychecks from the shop to buy her new parts. Took me over three years. Which is why I keep her here.” Dean slowly pulls out of the garage, waiting for the car to clear before he hits the clicker again, shutting the door behind us.  

You smile out the window as you slowly make your way down the empty race track towards the exit.

“If you love her that much why not just drive her all the time?” You play with the leather armrest that connects to the door. “Seems like a waste to just leave it in a garage all the time.” You muse.

You don't have many mantras in life, but one you strongly believed in not waiting to enjoy something. Your parents had saved an expensive bottle of champagne for you as a graduation present. They had won it in an auction years before and never had a good reason to open it and figured celebrating your matriculation would be the right time to finally pop it open. By the time they did, it had gone bad and your dad shook his head as he poured it down the drain. 

“Cause I ain’t risking a dent or scratch in her after all the time I put into fixing her up.” Dean waves at the gate agent as you pass through the exit, and you give him a smile as well.

“I’m just saying. What’s the point of having a beautiful car like this if you’re just going to keep her hidden away? You’re like an overprotective father.” You chuckle as you look back out the window at the passing scenery of bare trees and dead grass. March truly was an ugly month. 

You look over to Dean, catching his gaze for a moment before it returns to the road, a smirk his only answer. 

Without a word, Dean leans his foot heavily onto the gas pedal, the needle on the speedometer quickly climbing as the outdoor world begins to blur by.  

His heart jumps into his throat and his smile grows as the car continues to pick up speed. He wants to glance at Y/N, see her reaction, but he’s not reckless, not enough to take his eyes off the straightaway as the Impala ticks past 80 MPH.

He hears you take in a breath, but it’s not a gasp, doesn't sound scared or shocked, and he’s hoping you’re feeling the same excitement that he is as he shoots down the street, the engine rumbling through the front seat as he darts down his own personal racetrack that he’s driven down more times than he can count. 

Which is why he takes his foot off the gas, letting the needle fall before they come up to the bend that takes them back into town. 

It was only a few seconds, mere heartbeats, but it always makes Dean feel alive. 

Once the car is at a manageable speed, he peeks over to you – your hand is braced against the door, but your smile is wide in a silent laugh. He swallows at the sight, a lump growing in his throat before he looks back to the road, taking the turn at an easy speed.

“I know it doesn’t quite compare after Rick took you through the racetrack today, but every time I take Baby out of the garage, I’ve gotta run her.” He beams, triumph heavy in his chest as he shows off his pride and joy, feeling a pure sense of excitement that he truly hasn’t felt in years. 

Dean looks back over to you, your hair swishing as you shake your head. 

“No,” you breathe out with a smile. “That was great.” 

Dean releases a deep breath through his nose he didn’t realize he was holding. Almost like he was worried about your answer.

“Still think you should take her out more.” 

Dean just smirks, revving the engine again and letting the car fly. 

After Dean brings them to a roadside burger stand for lunch, they’re back at Mary’s house. Y/N had excused herself for a shower, and Mary and Dean lounge in the living room, the sun setting behind the windows, while Dean scrolls through social media on his phone. 

“Nice day out?” Mary asks from the couch across from him, a book in her lap.

Dean takes a breath and puts his phone down, hearing her tone. The same tone she had in the kitchen this morning when she was inquiring more about the woman he brought home.

Not taking the bait, he simply replies, “Good. Managed to get all of Rick’s cars done in just about two hours. He’s all ready for tomorrow.” Mary just rolls her chartreuse eyes. 

“And Y/N?” She asks bluntly. “How was your day with her?” 

He knows what his mother is fishing for. Outside of the odd high school fling, Lisa was the only woman he had ever brought home. And here he was, with Y/N, some random girl he met only a few weeks ago, brought here by his ex, showering just upstairs.

The thought lights something in his eyes as his gaze leaves the living room, thinking of the blue and white bathroom he was so familiar with, the lengthy standup shower, enough room for two, where Y/N was probably lathering soap all over —-

“Dean.” Mary chirps, almost like she can see her son’s thoughts on his face. 

“What?” He snaps, heat flushing his neck and cheeks, feeling like a caught child. 

Mary just sighs and moves her book aside, leaning forward and resting her arms on her jean-clad knees. 

“Don’t even start, mom.” He can see the conversation she wants to have. 

“You’re the one who brought her here.” She counters. He rubs a hand down his face and leans back against the cushion.

“Look, I’m just trying to be friendly. She and I started off on a really bad foot, and I’m stuck with her for the month. Also, when I invited her, I never thought she’d actually say yes. I was more being polite.” Which was true, but doesn’t change the fact that when he got her text that she was going to join him for the weekend, his stomach flipped. 

“She just quit her job and lost her aunt.” He continues on thoughtlessly. “She’s spending a month in a place where she knows no one. I’m just trying to be nice.” He sighs, crossing his arms across his chest. 

A soft, but sad smile graces Mary’s lips, and she leans back.

“Well then, I’m very proud of you.” Dean starts to smile, but it doesn’t fully form. He looks across at his mother. “What?” She offers him back a similar smile.

“Just sounds like the two of you may have come together at the right time is all.” Dean frowns as he hears the telltale creak of pipes as the water upstairs shuts off.  

“What does that mean?” He huffs. 

“Well it sounds like she’s going through some big life changes, and so are you.” She offers gently. 

“Oh here we go.” Dean rolls his eyes, his fists tightening.

“Huff and pout all you want, Dean.” Mary chastises her oldest son, who was always the most stubborn of her two boys. “But I think it’s nice that you two found each other when you're both going through a difficult time.” Dean fights the urge to roll his eyes again, knowing if he does, it will draw another chide from his mother. 

“Fine,” he concedes. “It’s nice.” He placates his mother, hoping to end the conversation.

He’s not a charity case. He’s going through a divorce, just like 50% of married people. He’s not the first and he’s certainly not the last. He doesn’t need her pity. Or yours. Not that you’ve offered it. 

Soft footsteps echo overhead, Y/N likely padding down the hallway back to her room. Probably in nothing but a towel. 

“It’s just nice to see you happy again, Dean. Been a while since I’ve seen it.” Dean unfurls at her words, his body slumping with a sigh. 

He’s being a dick. To his mother. 

What an asshole.

He runs his hand down his face again. 

Mary stands and steps around the coffee table, stopping in front of her sullen son. She rests a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t fight something nice just because you don’t think you deserve it.” She gives him a squeeze. After a moment, she steps away with a pat to his shoulder before she goes.

“I’m going to run to the store and pick up dinner. Any requests?” Dean opens his mouth. “Besides pie.” Mary beats him to it. 

“All good.” Mary nods her head.

“I’ll be back in a little bit.” This time, Dean nods, quietly listening as Mary grabs her keys from the kitchen before stepping out the front door. 

He hears Y/N move about upstairs again as Mary’s car comes to life in the driveway.

But Dean just relaxes on the couch, rests his head back, and closes his eyes.

Keep Reading

Forever Tags

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[vampgal202]

My Brothers Best Friend. (Dave Franco x Female reader.) P A R T O N E.

summary: When Y/n's brother's best friend comes to visit for a few nights, the ever-lasting attraction towards him only develops more. Little does she know the feeling might be mutual, leaving them both making bad decisions out of desire.

Warnings: smut, ?blood?

My hands carded through my hair as I looked at myself in my vanity mirror. Tonight my brother's best friend Dave was coming over for dinner. Nonetheless, I was excited. Ever since I was 10 years old I've always had a huge crush on Dave. I remember one time my brother scolded me for an hour straight after he caught me staring at Dave a little too hard. I was not a day over 12 when that happened, things are different now. But I can't lie and say that my attraction for him has only become stronger over the years.

"Quit looking at yourself, weirdo." I turn around to see my brother standing at my doorframe. "Ugh get out," I respond, annoyed and somewhat embarrassed. It wasn't much later until I heard the sound of the doorbell ring, indicating that Dave was there. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror and made my way downstairs to be met with my brother and Dave, giving each other their 'bro hug.'

"Dave it's so nice to see you!" I hear my mom say, perking up from her seat. After greeting everyone Dave made his way over to me, giving me a hug and quickly pulling back to say. "Wait, Y/n, is that... Lipstick." He jokingly says pretending to act shocked. "Screw off!" I say, creating a fit of laughter between us.

***

"Goodnight mom, I love you." I gave my mom a hug goodnight and made my way to my room. For the longest time, I could still hear Dave and my brother talking but now the house is silent. The silent house was a clear indication that everyone was asleep, so I made my way to the kitchen for a glass of water. My steps were soft and gentle, trying to avoid the sounds of the creaking floorboards. But when I made my way to the kitchen I was faced with a bareback, Dave. He was wearing plaid pajama pants low on his hips exposing his deep v-line. He was wearing no shirt, exposing me to his defined abs.

He looks up from his phone noticing me."Shit, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" He says to me setting his half-empty glass of water and his phone down. "No, I just needed some water," I whisper back, now walking towards him. "Here." He says to me, holding out his glass of water for me to finish. "Thanks," I say, resting my hip against the countertop. Dave was now only a foot away from me, watching me finish his glass of water. The kitchen was dark, the moonlight from the windows make it visible to see.

He crosses his arms over his bare chest, a smirk appearing on his face. "You know, your brother was telling me your little secret." He says finally breaking the silence. "Oh yeah, what did he say?" I respond, setting the now empty glass beside me. "He said that you have a little crush on me." A full grin now appears on his face, but not on mine. I roll my eyes, using my arms to hop on the counter behind me, now level with Dave. "Not true," I say, biting back a smile. With every word, it seems like Dave is getting closer to me. "No?" He says to me, turning his head slightly, still smiling.

He was now only a couple inches away from me, and I could feel my cheeks heating up. Soon enough, Dave was standing right in front of me, my closed knees hitting against his chest, stopping him from coming towards me any further. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I was worried he could hear it too. Before I could even think another thought his lips were on mine.

"Sorry." He says pulling away. "Don't be," I said, wasting no time connecting our lips again. I felt his tongue enter my mouth, moving with my tongue. The kiss was intense and needy, it felt like we were finally doing the one thing we wanted all these years. My legs spread open to let him move between them, making us even closer. His hands caressed my thighs, hooking them around his waist. I could feel his hard dick pressing against me. He then pulled away, kissing down my neck, on my collarbone. "Is this okay?" he whispered to me, looking up at me. I nod my head, hoping for dear god he doesn't stop.

He brought his hand down between us, making his way down to the waistband of my shorts. I felt his fingers run through my slit, gathering the wetness on his fingers and thrusting them into me making me let out a gasp. "Shh baby we gotta be quiet." He says to me, now pumping his fingers in and out of me. My hands quickly grabbed onto his bare shoulders, needing some sort of stabilizer.

His pace started to quicken, thrusting fast and hard in and out of me. I was biting my lip trying to not let out the sounds of my whimpers and moans. He brought his thumb to my clit and started roughly massaging it as he fingered me. Making me claw at his shoulder, still biting back my moans. I was so turned on, I could see the muscles in his arms flexing as he fingered me, the obvious boner in his pants, and his reassuring looks. It wasn't long before I was coming undone all over him.

My vision felt hazy as I came all over his fingers. The feeling of wetness in my mouth hit me and brought my finger up to see blood coating it. I bit my lip so hard I made it bleed. Dave looked up at me, enclosing my lips in a kiss, smearing my blood on his lips. He broke the kiss, pulling his fingers out of me and licking my cum off his fingers. The sight had me going crazy. Grabbing his face and enclosing his lips in another kiss.

The kitchen was filled with the sounds of our smacking lips and heavy breathing. I pulled his body close to mine, grinding my clit on his bulge making him throw his head back. My wet, openmouthed kisses made their way down his jaw and neck while continuing to grind harder. I knew he couldn't take it anymore and neither could I. We both knew fucking on the kitchen counter was risky, but neither of us cared at that point.

My hand reached down at his waistband pulling out his hard throbbing cock. I looked back up at him, his pupils blown, lips parted. His hand made its way down to my shorts, moving them to the side exposing my pussy. I still had a hold of his cock. Holding it by the base I dragged it through my wet folds making his breathing become hitched and making him let out a small moan. He was thick, I lined his cock up to my entrance, letting him do the work and closing the proximity between us. He slowly started thrusting in and out of me. But even the slowest movements were causing shocks of pleasure all over my body.

He then started to quicken the pace, thrusting fast and hard out of me. He was letting out moans and whimpers in my ear making me wetter by the second. My tits bounced in my shirt as he fucked me roughly. "Fuck Dave, oh my god." I was whispering curse words and moans of pleasure under my breath, trying to be quiet. I could feel myself coming close to coming undone, and I could tell he was too. His face was screwed up in pleasure, I watched as his v-line and abs flexed as he fucked in and out of my pussy. It took no time before we were both coming. A loud whimper came out of my mouth, making Dave kiss me to shut me up. My hands grabbed at his shoulders yet again as we simultaneously came.

The kitchen was now silent. His body was on mine as we silently tried to catch our breaths. "You okay?" he says to me, looking me in the eyes. "Yeah," I respond, giving him a warm-hearted smile. He slowly pulls out of me, grabbing paper towels and cleaning him and me up. He put his hands on my waist helping me off the counter. When my feet hit the ground my legs felt like jello. "woah what the fuck." I say to myself, making Dave start laughing. "Shut up," I say, now laughing with him. "cmon' let's go," I whisper out, leading the way back to our rooms. Once I was in front of my door I turned back to face Dave. "Sweet dreams." He says quietly, kissing my lips delicately and walking off toward his room.

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 1: Breakin’ Up With a Broken Heart

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari Levinson x Reader, mentions of past ex x reader

Summary: A year after a breakup that left you shattered, you’re ready to start life anew in your secluded Colorado mountain cabin. Just when you swear off love is when a new beast crosses your path.

Word Count: 1,896

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heartbreak, in-depth description of a breakup and feelings regarding that, safe driving in juxtaposition to a reckless person, deep introspection, enjoyment of mountain cabin vibes, lmk if I missed any

Author’s Note: This serves as a lot of exposition for what I hope will be a very lovey story; everyone knows you’ll probably face some heartbreak first. Also, yes, this is heavily based on my first heartbreak. What about it? Anyway, please enjoy the start of this long-anticipated fic. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated more than you know. And in case you didn’t hear it yet today, I love you.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

I STRONGLY suggest listening to this song, not just because it’ll help get across the vibes I’d like, but also because it’s a really good song.

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >

Your break-up

It’s been months since you walked out on him and left town in a cloud of dust. It didn’t end well, but you’d be lying if you said you thought he was right for you.

One year ago

It ended in a text. Nine months gone in a text.

I’m done.

To which you responded: You mean our relationship? Ok.

It was honestly a relief. You had been looking for a way out, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Maybe a part of you wondered if someone would ever want you that much again, even though he only ever showed it in words and not action. Your head was okay with the situation, but it seemed your heart didn’t get the memo. Even though it ended by what you considered a mutual agreement (if that’s what you call him dumping you over you not visiting on a weekend you were spending with your family since he didn’t prioritize anyone’s time but his own), it still hurt. Three days later, he posted a pic with a new girl and a new car the same price as the ring you two had looked at.

He was a textbook narcissist with mommy issues, how’d they always find you? It was the kind of relationship where three months in, you should’ve ended it, but stuck around for another six. It was full of late-night calls, but not even the good ones. These were the ones that happened because he never seemed to have time for you during the day. The attention seemed good at first, but the calls would leave you tired the next morning, unable to get up as early as you wanted to so you could be productive. And you couldn’t talk to your mom and sister about it. They hated him. They saw through his selfish behavior before you and you wish you would’ve listened before giving him everything you could, which still wasn’t enough.

He said he wanted to get married hardly a month in because he loved everything about you. At first, you thought it was a joke, but the more he said it, the more you somehow convinced yourself that was what you wanted, too, but it could not have been more far from the truth. You wanted a happy life with a partner, but not like that and not that fast. Well, was it too fast? Or did it just feel that way because it was with the wrong person? Plus, it was less of a partnership, and more of a continuous compromise put on your part. Either way, as time went on, you realized that every small conversation was leading to a fight and your work and other relationships were suffering from the time he expected of you, but never returned. All he did was expect you to give, not holding himself to that same standard, but for some reason, you kept holding on. You had even looked at rings, not committing, though, because he knew you’d want him to speak to your mother first and she would never go for it. So, the relationship continued to drag on until he got upset since you said no to him one too many times.

But that was so long ago now. You did your time crying, listening to all the sad songs, wondering where you could have possibly gone wrong until you had enough. The only thing you really did wrong was not trust your instincts. You went too far following his heart and not far enough with your own mind. Love can be cerebral, right? It should be. There was no reason to feel sorry for yourself, you were better off and doing all the things you wanted that he’d held you back from before. He had very evidently moved on, and so could you. Sick of feeling down in a town that only reminded you of heartbreak, you found what you needed right now: a new job and an open Zillow posting you’d been watching for forever: your ticket out.

You were taking a vacation to your brand new start, tears long gone and dried with the wind that blew through your hair as you drove through the wooded mountainside. The sun was warm on your face, all loneliness was left in the darkness you left behind. Boxes and bags graciously organized by your mom filled the back of your SUV, and her’s sat just as full, driving behind you up the mountain passes. Before you’d gotten up here, the two of you had stopped at the last gas station, filling up your cars, getting a couple snacks, and stretching your legs before the final couple miles upward. Standing outside your cars gassing up, she looked over to you.

“Hey, just a reminder to be careful in the mountains. You don’t know what’s up there. Mountain lions, bears, snakes.”

“Oh my” you said giggling at your own Wizard of Oz reference.

She smiled and rolled her eyes at you “haha, very funny, but I’m serious. Not just about living there, but driving, too. You never know when a deer could jump out.”

You’d heard this a thousand times, being from wooded, albeit less dense, areas before. Plus, your mom was always concerned about you. Perks of growing up with a dad who was never really present. All of her focus could go to you. Never seeing a proper model relationship was probably half of the reason you had gotten into this mess, too, but you’d never blame that. She’d given you all she could and done a darn good job raising a driven, successful daughter (in every aspect except romance). You were eternally grateful for her support of moving where you had always wanted. It was honestly the perfect opportunity. Once the pumps clicked and the gas was finished, you both prepared to hop back into your cars.

“And remember, don’t talk to strangers.”

“Mom, we’re driving. I doubt we’ll run into anyone else up there.”

She shrugged and you responded with a small smirk, shaking your head as you put the keys in the ignition.

Back to driving higher and higher in elevation, you were drumming your fingers on the dashboard to the songs on the radio that you had blasting. Benefit of driving alone: no interrupted music. As you kept going, the road was becoming narrower and windier, pairing with the dimming afternoon sun. As you were rounding a big bend, you saw something step out into the road and you immediately swerved around it to avoid crashing, pulling over onto the side right after. What was that? A bear? A deer? No, not a deer, too tall. Your mom pulled over right behind you and rolled down her window as you got out of the car and walked back to hers to fill her in.

“What happened?”

“Something stepped out into the road. I’m not sure what it was.” A tall man with cascading brown hair and a full, fitting beard stepped into your vision through your mom’s passenger window. “Or should I say someone. I’m gonna go talk to him, make sure he’s okay.”

“Alright, kiddo. Be careful, though. I’ll be right here.”

You stood up from leaning against your mom’s driver side door and made your way around the front of the car, your eyes drifting upwards from the ground to a narrow waist and broad shoulders, chest rising and falling with deep breaths, eventually meeting with the most gorgeous pair of ocean blues. All these features belonged to the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he ran out into the middle of the road and could’ve killed either of you.

Caught off guard by the whole situation, your brain defaulted to panic and defensive mode.

“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”

The man looked at you with wide eyes and simply blinked, unable to form a response until he stuttered out

“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

Even when evidently distracted and out of it, he was still insanely attractive, making you grow more anxious by the second under his intense stare and scrutinization as he continued to stand there, taking you in and then catching himself and looking anywhere else. You were self-conscious of your hair that was tucked under a beanie to combat the cold mountain air and likely disheveled from your long day. He was obviously in a state where arguing wouldn’t benefit either of you, and honestly, you were in the same boat, ready to get to your new home and start unpacking. The sun was starting to set already and you definitely didn’t want to be out after dark, plus you knew the exhaustion from the drive would be catching up soon.

“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful next time. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”

Wanting to avoid any more awkward interactions and the opportunity of embarrassing yourself in front of an adonis, you rushed back to your car and started back up the mountain. You could see the image of the man in your side mirror getting smaller, his gaze still fixed on your car, until you turned and lost sight of him.

Once you pulled into your new home, your mom met you with a suitcase, ready to take the stairs to the entrance.

“Well he was cute, albeit a little reckless. Wonder what was going on”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, though. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t need to make a habit of almost hitting things when driving around up here.”

You unlocked the door and held it open for your mom as she walked in and turned back to look at you. “Well, by the looks of how small this town is, you might. And once you figure out whatever’s going on in his head, maybe he’ll be a nice new friend to have up here.”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Maybe. After all this time, I think I’ll need a friend. Someone to restore my hope for humanity.”

You tried to lighten the mood regarding your distaste for others that had grown from feeling so deeply betrayed and your mom gave a knowing glance in response. But it seemed there was something more to it. It was knowing in more ways than one, hardly noticeable, as you turned to go get another load to bring in from the trunk.

Your mind raced with thoughts of having to get all of this junk into the house. You stepped out into the crisp mountain air, admiring the deepening blue sky and unobstructed stars, the darkness in contrast to the way your mood had brightened slowly from something similarly dark over the past year, becoming more like the stars that glowed in the beautiful night ski. As you trotted down the stairs, your tried to convince yourself that being here was going to be everything you hoped for yourself and your future ticket to happiness. That the last thing on your mind was love.

Next >

[uss-edsall]

I’d seen some severely injured troops. . . but none were as horrifyingly mutilated as the soldier who was wheeled down the ward’s center aisle one afternoon. Our collective curiosity was only natural, so those of us who could get out of bed did so and took a very slow stroll past the guy’s bed. All evening long he had a stream of curious and concerned onlookers flowing in his direction. It was a shockingly grim sight. . . It was enough to turn a strong man weak. And make no mistake about it—he was in pain. Real, deep, genuine pain. He constantly moaned. There was no stopping him. All the drugs the hospital had to offer were ineffective against his unrelenting misery, and his moans were an ever-present reminder of his torment. There was no escaping them. My first reactions upon seeing him were, How did he manage to live, and Why did somebody save him? The latter may sound cruel, but what life was there for him if he pulled through? In this case, I believe it would have been better for all concerned if he’d died on the battlefield. He lived for about ten days. During that time all the bullshitting on the ward ceased, and he became the main topic of conversation. His presence had a sobering effect on us. It became an unwritten rule—as long as he was alive we would show respect. He’d earned at least that from us. . . Our pains seemed small in comparison. At first we thought he’d make it, but as the days passed all the signs pointed to his death. The doctors, who normally checked his progress twice a day, began making trips to his bedside every hour. We knew his condition was deteriorating when we saw a priest visit him twice in two days. We saw the end coming. Four days before he expired. . . a woman entered the ward. She had on a hat and a long wool coat—a mom’s coat. She looked like anybody’s mom in that coat. . . She hesitated for a moment, then walked down the main aisle and turned in beside that guy’s bed. When she saw him she knew right away that it was her son. Her hands flew up to her mouth, and I could see her trembling all the way from my bed. . . The woman was in fact his mother, and his parents had scraped together just enough cash to send only her. The nurses and doctors were very pleasant and accommodating. They brought her a big chair and allowed her to sleep right there next to his bed. The nurses brought her food and drink throughout the days, and she rarely left his side. She talked to him in spurts, softly whispering in his ears at times. He lay there motionless the entire time, except on one occasion. I happened to look in their direction as she was hunched over close talking to him. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but suddenly he turned his head toward her voice. He didn’t utter a word; at least I didn’t hear him speak, if he did say anything. Somewhere in the recesses of his shattered mind he must have realized that it was his mom speaking to him. His mother jumped slightly at the unexpected movement, a look of surprise and hope spreading across her face. But that was it. He didn’t move again. Something woke me up around two o’clock the morning that he died. It was completely dark on the ward, with the exception of the light at the nurses’ station and the light next to his bed. . . just about every patient was awake and staring intently as the drama unfolded. Unfortunately, we all knew that there would be no happy ending. A priest scurried in. . . to administer the last rites. Doctors and nurses shuttled in and out of the light, doing their best to save him or make his passing as painless as possible. They worked at a measured pace, but the air of death rushed in, and soon it was over. The moment of his death was almost visible, like the air around his bed suddenly chanted into something tangible, something touchable. I never even knew his name.

Reflections of a Warrior: Six Years as a Green Beret in Vietnam, by Medal of Honor recipient Franklin D. Miller and Elwood J. C. Kureth

[felice-jaganshi]

Made With Love

Radioapple Fic

Chapter 1: Lambchops

(This chapter based off fanart from notherpuppet, I love them so much)

The candles were lit and the sigil was drawn in lamb's blood. All that was left was to invoke his name, and see if he actually showed up. If not, at least Alastor could have a nice lamb chop dinner.

“Lucifer, King of Hell, Lord of Pride. I implore thee to grace me with thy presence this evening.” He spoke as sweetly as he could, using every trick he possessed to sound as alluring as possible. He was in his mother's living room, though she no longer lived here… he'd always call it hers. 

 

There was a full minute of silence, standing in the dark room with the candles as the only light. He sighed and began to turn away, when the room suddenly got brighter!

He turned, and saw the fireplace, blaze to life, where it had previously been dark and empty of any kindling at all! Shit! But he was supposed to manifest within the circle so he was contained! He must have done something wrong, now he'd have no control over the devil!

The fire blazed white and out onto the stone hearth stepped a flaming figure with horns and a tail, red glowing eyes locking on Alastor. 

Alastor's face split into an excited grin, “Greetings, your majesty. I'm honored that you actually took the time to visit my humble abode.” He bowed at the waist, but kept eye contact. 

 

“You're alone, human? No… others?” His voice reverberated with the flickering of the flames. He sounded curious, which Alastor hoped was a good thing.

“No, I am not part of any cult or anything. My summoning you was for entirely personal reasons. I beseech You, please hear out my request. I require power. Physical power.”

 

“Oh? And where is my lamb?” He sounded… bored.

“Oh yes, right here your Majesty!” He motioned to the dining table, and at lovely cooked lambchops.

The demon looked over and all the fire left his form, revealing a man. Much shorter than Alastor expected… he wore all white and stepped forward towards the table.

“You cooked it? Damn, that's a first actually.” He looked impressed.

“Well, please enjoy your lamb sire, then may we get down to business?” He smiled at the short devil, examining him. We'll, he's certainly not what Alastor expected the devil to look like, certainly less red… but he is known as The Deceiver for a reason. This is probably just a trick to make Alastor lower his guard or test him into being discourteous, so he can steal his soul without granting his request!

 

Lucifer sat down at the small table, “Well, you might as well join me. You prepared enough lamb to feed two!” He chuckled and kept his beautiful red eyes on Alastor, with a sharp toothy grin. Alastor felt it was more of a demand than a request. 

“If that is what you desire.” He went to get another plate and wine glass before sitting down and pouring them each a glass.

“So, what part of earth have I been summoned to? And what year is it?”

“You're in Louisiana, Sire. And the year is 1927. This is my mother's home, or… was rather…” He kept his smile on, but looked away with a deep sadness in his eyes. 

“I can't bring people back to life, if that's what you were gonna ask for.” Lucifer said softly, feeling pity for the young man. He took a bite of the lamb and his eyes went wide, “Whoa! Did your mom teach you to cook like this?! I'm gonna have to make you my personal chef!” He then dug in enthusiastically. 

“Is that what you'd desire of me for the power I require?” Alastor hadn't touched his food yet, just watching in awe as the devil ate all the way down to cleaning the bones.

 

“Huh? So focused on business. And here I was hoping for some good dinner conversation. Well, before I offer anything to you, I need an idea of what I'm working with here. ‘Power’ is a rather vague concept without context. And since you made me such a delicious offering, I'm feeling gracious enough not to immediately fuck you over.” He rest his chin on his folded hands and smiled softly, eyes half closed as he felt satisfied with a full stomach. 

 

Alastor sighed, “Very well, if I must.” He had hoped to avoid sharing his personal details with the demon, but he was damning his soul anyway. 

“My mother… she was murdered, and I wish to get revenge for her. But I'm not strong enough to take on the whole group by myself. So I would like to petition you for assistance. To borrow power from you so I may avenge her and make sure they never do this to anyone again.”

Lucifer stared intently as Alastor spoke. “I see… well, I could use some entertainment. So how about I make this extra interesting. For the duration of your hunt, I'll make you not just powerful, but I'll make it so no one will be able to tie the murders to you either.” He wanted to see how Alastor would handle this gift.

His eyes lit up, “Truly? And what do you ask in exchange for such a generous offer?”

“Well, standard arrangement for such a deal would be your soul. But let's make this more interesting. Once a month for the rest of your life and afterlife, you have to summon me for dinner. Not necessarily lamb everytime, I have quite the diverse palette.” 

“Dinner with the Devil once a month? And I get to keep my soul? Well, I Believe we have a deal then, your Majesty.” He held out his hand, and Lucifer shook it.

 

 

His first murder! It was exhilarating! The Power coursing through his body was a high he could hardly keep sane through, it was immediately addictive. He needed more!

That thought made him flinch and look in the mirror of his bathroom where he was cleaning up. His eyes… They were red now, like the Devil's. But it was already fading back to brown as the power left. No- no! Come back! I need the power!  

He felt a cold sweat over his body. “I… I may not have given my soul, but hell is already my destination.” He knew that should scare him, that he should be begging God for forgiveness and protect, but he didn't want either of those things. With this power, he could protect himself from anything! He was powerful now and no one could stop him!

The thrill of the realization sent shivers down his spine. That's what this was, excitement, not fear.

It was time for the next Victim. Tomorrow, he'd get Their leader.

 

Next month, he summoned Lucifer again, this time making him jambalaya and hoping for the best.

When Lucifer stepped in through the fireplace, he smiled softly, holding a box.

“Hey kiddo, it smells great in here! How've you been enjoying my powers, it looked like you were having fun.”

 

“Sire, can you please not call me ‘Kiddo’. I am an adult man.” Alastor's grin tightened, “And yes, I've been enjoying your gift immensely. However… I am coming close to the end of our arrangement, soon I will eliminate the last of the men who directly killed Mother… And I must admit, I am loathe to let go of the powers you've granted me… there are more Sinners who deserve to be punished. More lives I could save! I-” He caught himself, realizing he was getting carried away in front of Lucifer himself!

 

“Well, if that's how you feel, how about another deal?” He smiled and sat down to enjoy his meal, setting down the box on the table. “Ooooh, what'd you make this time?” He licked his lips.

“It's jambalaya, have you never had it before, Sire?” 

“Nope! Never heard of it.” He dug right in, and purred as he ate. 

“Your praise is appreciated, you majesty.” God, why did that purring make him seem almost... cute?

“And you're so polite too. Is it out of respect, or fear?”  He looked Alastor up and down before motioning to the chair across from him.

“Please, join me. You are pleasant company.”

 

Alastor sat, “Thank you, Sire.”

“Please, call me Lucifer. We're about to become much more intimately connected if you accept my offer.”

He waited for Alastor to eat his portion of dinner before getting to business.

“Now, you want to keep my powers after you've avenged your mother.

I will let you keep the strength I loaned you in exchange for ownership of your soul. Is that agreeable?” He held out his hand with a smile. Something about it looked… hungry.

Alastor took a deep breath, then slowly shook the Devil's hand. “Yes. My soul is yours upon my death.” 

Lucifer frowned at that last part, “Aw, only after your death? I can't just call you mine now?” He then chuckled and softened his expression, “Very well, enjoy your few years of freedom wisely, my pet. I look forward to continuing our monthly meals as well.”

“Yes, Sire, I will enjoy my time to the fullest!"

 

“Good, I'll be keeping an eye on you… make me impressed, my dear.” He chuckled and took his leave.

Alastor noticed the small black box he'd left behind, and curiosity got the better of him. He opened it up, and found a note card that said “To Alastor” on it. Underneath was a silk bowtie.

[thisisarcanereverie]

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 1)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the first episode (and more to come). Also I did NOT bother editing, so if there are a few mistakes my bad.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

**************************************************

You were visiting your family and friends in Texas when everything went to shit. One minute you were on your way to a movie with your mom and the next you were driving frantically to Travis County with your mom, and your old friend Tommy (who you hadn’t seen in years) and his brother Joel and Joel’s daughter Sarah. Your car had overturned at some point, your mother and Tommy on one side and you, Joel, and Sarah on the other. You had agreed to meet at the lake, you tried to ignore the fires and screams of people around you and focused on surviving. But the pleas of help and the inhuman clicking etched itself into your brain, you could transport yourself there if you closed your eyes long enough. You could feel the heat from the various fires as you passed them, the metallic stench of blood permeating the air and turning your stomach sour, you could feel the burning in your lungs as you ran from the infected person as it chased you animalistically. You could still feel the hope you had as you looked at the soldier crumble as he fired at you and the sharp stab of grief that almost consumed you as you watched Joel mourn Sarah and as Tommy told you that your mother didn’t make it. 

You took in a sharp breath when you woke up, the morning light burnt your eyes until you closed them again. Your back ached from the outdated springs on the old bed. You felt like you had been run over by a bus quite honestly, and despite what you had assumed to be a decent amount of rest, there was a tiredness deep in your bones that had settled there for the past 20 years. Begrudgingly you sat up, a low groan escaping you as you stretched, your bones popping and cracking throughout your body like some sick symphony. 

You slowly open your eyes as they adjust to the dull brightness that day provided and look around the unit that the Boston QZ provided you and your roommate Tess, though you guess she’s more like a ghost nowadays since she spent most nights with Joel. 

Joel. 

You, Joel, and Tommy arrived at the Boston QZ together, during what you would easily call the worst few years of your life. During which time both you and Joel bonded over your loss. With every year you got better at handling your loss, and started to move on. You were a nurse before everything had ended, so you helped out where you could medically and on the side you accepted some other jobs. You helped smuggle a few things here and there, even sent some reliable customers Joel and Tess’s way. You used to just shoot the shit with Tommy, talking about what the world was like before it ended. But that was before he went ahead and joined those goddamn Firefly’s. When you found out you were so mad you could’ve screamed and hit him, but you left that to Joel instead. You admired the way Tommy still held onto hope, despite all that he’s seen and went through, but joining the Firefly’s was going against FEDRA, and going against FEDRA never went well. 

You were so lost in thought that it wasn’t until you heard a silent ‘shit’ coming from the kitchen and the sound of glass shattering across the floor that you realized you weren’t alone. Instinctively you reached for your gun, You were often alone in the unit and just because the world went to shit didn’t mean things didn’t happen. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had to defend yourself in your unit. You walked silently as you walked toward the kitchenette, gun raised and your thumb hovering over the safety. It wasn’t until you saw the familiar long light brown hair that you lowered your gun. 

“Fuck Tess,” You cussed as you took a deep breathe attempting to calm the nerves you had gotten, “I thought you were-what the fuck happened to you?” You asked as she turned around, one half of her face was swollen and littered with scars, her clothes had droplets of dried blood dotted across. Not enough to notice from afar, but up close you could spot a large droplet or two. You rushed over to her where you motioned her to sit on the rickety chair next to the table. The floorboards creaked as you walked over to the floorboards in front of your radio. Uncovering it to reveal one dusty bottle of rum and a first aid kit filled with things you had snuck out of the clinic over the years. Tess was silent as you set the first aid kit and the rum on the table before grabbing two mismatching glasses filling up both, before passing one to her. She downed hers as you poured yourself one and dabbed a bit on a piece of clean cloth. 

You dabbed the cloth onto her cuts and bruises before applying just the smallest amount of antibacterial onto your fingers and just dabbing it on the deeper cuts. Once you had put the antibacterial back in the first aid and the cloth was set aside, you downed the rest of whatever you had poured on your glass. 

“So,” you broke the silence, “gonna tell me what happened or am I going to have to ask Joel?” You see Tess take a deep breath before sighing, pouring herself another glass and taking a swig of it before responding. 

“It was Robert,” She revealed, “I found out he was going to fuck us over with the car battery,” your nails dug into the palms of your hands. You never did like Robert, based on his personality you assumed no one else did either, “So I got jumped by a few of the teenagers in his rank and next thing you know I’m tied to a goddamn chair and he’s pacing around paranoid about Joel.” 

“I would too,” you interjected, Joel had become increasingly violent over the years, earning himself a fearsome reputation. And while you would never admit it, you were both scared and intrigued about what his rage could do. What he was willing to do while in that state. You took another sip of the rum, hoping the liquor would hide that particular thought away. Forcing it down with the rest of your more complex emotions. 

“Yeah, well if it weren’t for the Firefly’s I would probably either still be in that chair or dead by now. They blasted through the damned wall and a full blown shootout ensued. I tried to leave but FEDRA caught me, thinking I was Firefly. When they let me go after some intense interrogation I came here and you wanna know what really just fucks me off,” You nodded, “Robert fucking weasled his way out, fucking scot free.” 

“FEDRA didn’t catch Robert, but they caught you?” You asked, when she nodded you rolled your eyes in annoyance. Of course FEDRA would focus more on capturing a (at the time) defenseless woman and feeding their ego by reinforcing their superiority before actually capturing someone guilty of something. You finish off your glass before setting it back down on the table. 

“Well,” you started, “did they hurt you anywhere else? Any cuts or bruises that need tending to before I put this shit away?” 

“Are you asking for a strip tease Doc?” Tess teased as she sent you a wink, you rolled your eyes before closing your kit and the bottle to the rum before grabbing it. 

“You wish, Detroit.” You winked back as you placed the kit and bottle back to its place beneath the floorboard next to the radio. You looked at it for a second, thinking briefly that you hadn’t heard from Bill and Frank a while and hoped that they were doing fine. Maybe you would stay longer than you did last time, Bill was getting older and Frank’s condition was worsening. They could use the extra help, but you were sure Bill would refuse, just like last time. 

You turned back to Tess who was still sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Tess,” You put one hand on your hip as you leaned against the wall, “we’ve got to tell Joel.” 

“I know,” She sighed, “he’s not going to like it.” 

“He’s most likely going to fly off the handle, yes.” you agree, “but still, Robert’s not going to get away with holding you captive and fucking you two over.” You grab your shoes, pull them on and lacing them before making your way to the front door. You opened the door for Tess and locked the door behind you. 

///////////

“Joel.” 

“Yeah.”

“Who the fuck is this?” you ask, motioning towards the petite 14 year old brunette staring out the

window. After informing Joel on what happened you left for your shift in the clinic, after the shift ended and you saw the sun was about to set, you rushed home to grab your first aid kit and stuffed it discreetly in your bag and made your way back to Joel’s where you were sure him and Tess would be there ready to be patched up. Instead what you found was Joel lying on the couch and an unfamiliar girl staring out the window with a far off look in her dark eyes. 

“The Queen of England,” The girl sarcastically replied, “and who are you, off brand GI Jane?” 

“Can you even point to England on a map, aren't you like five?”

“I’m 14” 

“Tell that to your height.” 

“Alright,” Joel groaned, getting up from the coach rubbing his eyes slightly before getting up fully, “enough.” you kept eye contact with the girl as Joel makes his way to you, a calloused hand on your shoulder. “At ease Doc, this is Ellie, we’re taking her to the Firefly base outside of the QZ.” You missed the warmth of his hand as soon as it was removed. 

“By us do you mean-” 

“We’re going to need you Doc,” Joel said gruffly, almost like he didn’t want to say it, “if we give Ellie to them with so much as a scratch on her the deal's off.” You walked over to where he was by the sink, leaning close to talk quietly. 

“What deal?” You asked, eyes searching his dark ones, they shone with a tiredness you’re sure yours portrayed as well. 

“We take her there, and they give us what we need.”

“A car battery.” 

“And weapons,” Joel added, you had to admit weapons and a car battery that worked sounded nice. But

you looked over to where Ellie sat, fiddling with the book in her lap. 

“Why?” you asked, eyes still trained on her, not seeing how his eyes lingered on you for longer than they should, “Why go through all this trouble? Who is she?” 

“I’m thinking she’s some higher ups daughter,” he explained, “they didn’t give us a clear answer on that.” Despite your suspicions you decided to leave it for now. You continued to watch her for a second. It was strange to think that Ellie and kids her age would never know what the world was. Sometimes you liked to wonder what kids her age would’ve been like had this life not been forced upon them. But you would shake those thoughts away, it was useless wondering what could’ve been when you needed to survive. 

You walked over to her, sitting cautiously beside her. 

“So,” you started, “You’re Ellie.” 

“Yeah,” she responded, looking at you cautiously. You couldn’t blame her, so young and affiliated with the Firefly’s already, You don’t know what kind of people she’s been exposed to.

“It’s a cool name,” you said, extending a hand, “people call me Doc.” Warily she accepts it. 

“Like Doctor?” Ellie asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you a doctor?” 

“Closest thing to one at the moment,” you said removing her hand from your own, you see her tugging at her sleeve but pay it no mind. 

Tess entered not long after, it was time. And so far everything had gone smoothly, well, as smoothly as it possibly could be with Ellie being distracted over the outside world a few times, almost getting caught in the process. Until you eventually got caught. Even through the blur of the flashlight you could feel Joel tense, you wanted to reach out to him and calm him down. For a minute though before the soldier had you on your knees with your hands behind your head, you were sure he was going to let you go. He was testing you all, ‘doing this by the book’, he said. The uncomfortable tingling of the handheld device was over nearly as it began, you were clean. 

Then came Ellie. 

As soon as he touched her neck she stabbed him with a knife you didn’t notice she had before. That’s when all hell broke loose, you don’t know what did it for Joel, if it was the flashlight or the fact that this officer was going to shoot a little girl, but you saw Joel break. Without caring about getting shot he disarmed the soldier, but he didn’t stop there. You’ve seen him get violent a few occasions before, but this, this was something he was holding back. He kept pounding on him, blood decorating the stones, he would’ve kept going had you not pulled him off of him. You held onto Joel, riding out this PTSD driven rage, coaching his breathing. Until finally he ceased, you let go and distanced yourself from him before seeing Tess. The handheld device in her hand as her eyes widened. 

“GUYS!” She shouts, showing the screen on the device, a bright shining red.

Fuck

[sugarushwriting]

Untouchable / Bang Chan

Untouchable

“untouchable like a distant diamond sky,” “I’m caught up in you,” “when you’re close, I feel like coming undone

Prologue.

I’ve known him since I was 7 and he was 9. I’ve been best friend’s with his younger sister for 13 years, and my crush never faltered. Although we have our 2 year age difference, he only and always saw me as his little sister’s best friend, eventually calling me his own little sister. He would never look at me more than a younger sibling. Even when I turned 15, and started to grow in places, he never once glanced my way in an adoring look. Not like he did with other girls and his girlfriends at the time. I even once wore the skimpiest bikini I could find at 16 and he flat out walked past me without a second thought. Lily, my best friend and his sister, couldn’t believe I was brave enough to show that much skin to anyone. 

From those 13 years, Lily never officially suspected I had a crush on her brother. She once told me, “it’s okay if you have a crush on him, every girl does!” I gagged and brushed her off with a blush. “Never in a million years,” I replied, knowing deep down, my heart ached for him to look at me anyway other than a younger sister. It was hard every day to ignore my silly little feelings for him. Christopher, or Chan as we called him at times, never saw my feelings for him. Never saw me bat my eyelashes at him, the cheesy pickup lines I told as ‘jokes,’ or the times I would dress up in hopes to receive any type of compliment. He would reply with “why do you have so much makeup on?” or “your skirt is too short, kid.” I always went home crying into my pillow.

Chan had his first ‘real’ girlfriend at 14, I was 12. I cried so hard, my mom thought I had spilled a drink in my favorite book. They broke up just months later, and I saw the light of day again. However, when he was 17, he went off to college and got a girlfriend. I had thought they wouldn’t last due to college life. My heart shattered into a million pieces when that didn’t happen. Chan hardly came home during college, only on major holidays. He was aiming to be a music producer, so his schedule was always packed. Whenever he did come visit, he always brought his girlfriend, Sharon. I tried to hate her, but I couldn’t. She was sweet, smart, and talented as she was in choir. That’s how they met--their shared musical talents. 

When it was my and Lily’s turn to go off to college, I made a pact to myself - to get over Christopher Bahng. It was hard at first as not only did I go to school with Lily, and shared a dorm with her, Chan came to help her move in. Of course, he would sometimes visit, but never actually come up to the dorm. A few times she offered for me to hang out with them, but I always made up an excuse. Soon, Lily stopped talking to me about his life updates all together, only for a few here and there updates. My heart didn’t flutter like it used to. The feelings weren’t strong, but they were still somewhat there. During college, I found myself lost in my education and even some guys, but the guys never stuck. Mainly because I couldn’t get off by them, and sometimes I even imagined it was Chan’s face. They never quite pipped my interest.

Now, at 20, I haven’t seen or talked directly to Chan since Lily and I moved into college, 2 years ago. I don’t know what he looks like now as I blocked him on every social media account I had. He was now 22, and I wonder how much he grew in 2 years. I guess I would soon find out since Lily and I were spending the summer at her parent’s vacation rental in Australia for 3 months, and Chan would be there as well. 

[jqmalikhsgib]

wedding bells

“…pardon my interruption…”

he stares at his mom and sister blankly. they couldn’t be serious. this was beyond the definition of fucked up. this wasn’t some movie. this was his life. this was your life.

he couldn’t possibly ruin your wedding. no! he’s already ruined your happiness enough. you deserved to get married to the man you love. that’s no longer him.

he was heartbroken, sure. but he deserves this. he deserved to suffer. you deserve to walk down the aisle like you deserved to do all those years ago. he knew this was the wedding of your dreams.

he knew from the moment he saw the church. this was the church he was gonna marry you. the church you picked out.

“no. she doesn’t deserve this!” harry shakes his head.

anne rubs her sons shoulders. “did i ever tell you about my first love zac?”

he frowns at his mother. he shakes his head as his mother takes a deep breath.

“i met him a few years before your father. i was deeply in love with him. he was the one,”

both harry and gemma stared at their mother shockingly. they had no idea she loved someone before their father. they always thought their dad was her first love.

“he was american. only visiting distant relatives for the summer. we fell in love instantly. god was he the most amazing generous man. when summer ended he begged his parents to stay, just for me. how romantic, huh? except it ended there. we tried to keep in touch sending letters. but after awhile the letters slowly went away. i assumed he moved on. that was until three years after you were born. he came to visit. hoping that i was still there. and i was. but i had moved on and married your father and had two amazing kids. unfortunately he didn’t come to reconnect. he came to tell me that he loved me and would never stop. but he was sick. very sick. it’s why he stopped writing the letters because he thought it was best that he let me go. he knew his illness was terminal. he had a about three more months left. but he couldn’t die without telling me how he felt. in that moment we both knew we wasted so much time. we could have been together but he let me go and i didn’t ask questions or try to call him. anything! i just let zac slip though my fingers. and if i would have just called him and checked on him, maybe ask him questions, maybe we would have been together instead. don’t do what i did baby. don’t let her slip through your fingers.”

harry sheds tears. “but what if—”

“then we’ll be right here to pick up the pieces again.” gemma whispers.

harry nods. he gets out of the car, runs to the church, and takes a deep breath before opening the door. and just like the movies everyone stares at him. including you.

he just stands there. everyone starts to whisper. harry didn’t know what to say. but he knew if he didn’t speak he would look like even more of an idiot. but something happened. he said nothing but you ran.

everyone gasped. harry didn’t know what to say or do. he couldn’t speak. he thought you were gonna slap him for ruining your wedding, run back to the podium, and get marry.

instead you surprised him. you grabbed his hand and ran out of the church. leaving everyone speechless.

“i can’t do it. i can’t marry someone i don’t love. i—harry you broke me. you broke every fiber of my heart. but i love you. i always have and i always will. and—i don’t wanna marry anyone else but you.”

“then let’s get married, darling.”

again i have no idea wtf this is but here is the final part to wedding bells :)

[totallybakedcake]

hello :) (if you recived another message sorry I don't know if I sent it bc my phone doesn't work) as I asked before like could you do a Aoi x Haruichi fanfict? also I'd like to read something that focuses also on Haruichi's family issue because I'm really struggling to think about something and I'd like to know other people's thoughts :)

Woo hoo my first character x character fic!! Really I do like to ship many characters together but don't have any motivation to write. I had fun trying to make a backstory so thanks:D

The joy of silence

There were no cute fanarts on them on google so settling with this one ig

Haruichi was just in his apartment, gazing at the mellow sunset while lost in thought. He had for the past four hours been opening his phone every five minutes, which even made the vice captain and instructors concerned, so he had to stop.

He didn't tell anyone; he wasn't bold enough to tell them that it was his father's birthday, and he had tried to call him multiple times, text him plenty of times, and even send him some gifts, but in response, he got dead silence.

He felt so annoyed and nervous at the beginning of the day that he worked way harder than usual, and now everything would hurt if he even moved an inch.

"I am hungry." He thought to make dinner, but during cooking, most probably his body would give out, so he diverted his mind and would think about that later.

This is the first time he felt so useless that he might cry from it, but what could even help him cheer up? Just then

The doorbell rang.

Usually at this hour, nobody came to visit him, though Haruichi did think of a certain someone when he needed to talk.

"Aoi?" Ah, yes, it was Aoi. He didn't outright say it, but he was glad that he had come to visit him.

"Talk." Kaguragi simply said that and settled on the couch. He damn well knew that Haruichi was very upset and wanted to confront him in private.

"Caught me, huh? Well,  what can I expect from you?" Haruichi didn't even hide the fact and just sat down beside him, offering him some ramen before digging into his.

He took deep breaths to calm down as he spoke. "I had a little brother; he was younger by 4 years. We played for hours and hours every day. Each day our parents would come home with gifts. He always wanted some sort of building set that helped him build weapon toys. He was going to be the one to inherit the Izumo family business. While I was 18 and he was 14, a kaiju attacked our home. He died; mom got an illness and died soon later. I was the one left that dad would leave the business to. My destiny was to become a defense force officer or maybe a captain someday, so I refused, and we argued day and night after that. Dad quit trying to convince me but also stopped talking to me as we both cut ties. Today is his birthday. I did countless things to reach out, but he just wouldn't reply."

The room felt silent as none of them dared to say anything else. Haruichi was and is still hiding his pain deep down, but the tears might start to fall and not stop.

Aoi pulled him in an awkward hug. He had never hugged anyone, but it was a great way to comfort a sad person. "At least you have us; I am sure in the future your father will forgive you; give him some time."

To say he was shocked is an understatement. Haruichi wrapped his arms around Aoi. He closed his eyes, muttering thanks over and over as he got comfortable in the warm embrace that was like a balm to his sore muscles.

It was a quiet moment where no words needed to be exchanged; just the relaxing touch was enough. They were enjoying each other's company.

Falling asleep with Kaguragi felt like heaven, but there was no way in hell that Haruichi was ever going to admit that.

"Oh Kaguragi, I love you," he thought to himself before joining in on the slumber.