#im not trying to fck w shit LOL
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devonte-vern · 2 years ago
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"I know it's not a test but I really do feel like I'm succeeding as far as summer's go." Dev thanked the barista for their coffees before walking back outside with Trevor. He had convinced him to engage in a 'self-care' day and Dev had been saving to be able to splurge a bit. Aka make a show of treating Trevor and not being cheap. His summer job was coming with a decent enough paycheck, at least enough that he might actually have to pay taxes this year. "But I mean spending time with Mollie has been nice and it's also been freeing. I..actually have a date tomorrow. With..a man," he admitted, his cheeks flushing. "It's a Tinder thing and I'm not trying to get into a relationship but it's a date nonetheless. I just hope I don't get catfished." @theduchampboy
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alukaforyou · 3 months ago
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what do you find so attractive about sukuna, genuinely curious :o
omg ok ok ok ok so i didnt think twice abt him until after the manga ended, i noted his pink hair and was like 👍🏻 but nothing really beyond that. his drives seem p simple hes strong as fck so he will do whatever he wants, kill anyone, answers to no one etc like ok fair relatable tbh me too if i were the worlds #1 strongest bitch everyone WATCH OUT even the fanbook says he doesnt dislike anything in particular & doesnt care abt anything besides himself like on one hand its also kind of sad from an outsider pov cuz he has no one but he doesnt even realize / agree with tht and actively doesnt want / need anyone else cuz he only relies on & believes in himself & his power thats y he was a binding vow merchant towards the end, whereas yuji had ppl he was fighting for & trying to protect so he was able to get stronger & overcome limitations and ofc in the end sukuna lost but he was so chill abt it i love it when ppl can accept their loses with grace or admit when they were wrong & move on like i was NOT expecting soft sukuna development in the last ch?? and now he can reincarnate or w.e and experience a softer life u kno all the good stuff like friendship and love and whatnot.
plus pre-loss sukuna was so unboyfriendable to me cuz he legit did not give a shit abt anyone which is y i didnt care abt him until AFTER the literal last ch of the manga???? but like that development is such a charm point💕 the reincarnation au is a charm point like so many what if's u kno?? and also if u think more abt the circumstances of his birth like hes literally called unwanted child & he mustve been treated rly badly for not looking like a """"normal"""" person w the extra eyes and whatnot.... heartbreaking :( i mean that def must've played a role in why he turned out the way he did so can ya rly blame him for killing ppl and doing whatever he wants lol ppl probably wanted HIM dead when he was just a kid! the world is cruel.
MIGHT I ALSO CLARIFY im only interested in his true form, when hes posessing yuji / megumi im like askkajsakakka get out of that child's body 🤣 the appeal is pink hair💕 size k!nk💕 4 arms so twice the hugs & caresses ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)💕 two cocks who said that i mean hes like 7ft 3 maybe more, and super ripped & strong he can carry u alllll day, no sweat (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) does that not entice u idk 😭
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can i just repost that pic i drew of us like thats the appeal 😭
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luv-beam · 2 months ago
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IM BAAAACK!!! i was gonna save this as my bedtime story, but then i realized i can't stay up tonight 😭 but all the better for me bc i get to read this little masterpiece early 😌:
• when you don't just have a feeling that today isn't going to go well, but it's DESTINED not to go well... good lord time to panic! also the description of the dress is so pretty rah like the quiet dignity and refinement over opulence, rhe soft rustling of the skirts,, u can really feel the vibe of the family thru this and also the tension w the fact that yn feels everything BUT perfect
• WHISPERING THAT A LADY'S VIRTUE LIES IN RESTRAINT OHHHHHH U CANT DO THIS TO ME NOT WHEN YN LITERALLY IS LIKE RESTRAINING HERSELF FROM HER OWN DESIRES THIS WHOLE FIC U CANT
• fun fact but corsets were never meant to be suffocatingly tight; its kind of just a modern stereotype, but im not mentioning this to diss ur writing or anything !!! 😭😭 i think the tightness of the corset and yns lack of room to breathe is a really important symbol that lends to how she's really feeling. like the physical connecting to the emotional
• okay another comment abt ur imagery bc ur descriptions of the palace are utterly breathtaking 🤧 like White Room Syndrome is scared of u, tara
• i know whats gonna happen, but like the tension and suspense u create is enough to have anyone on the edge of their seats!! like u dont need future sight to be anxious abt what's gonna happen. like will yn get out of this scot-free or will something horrible happen?
• "you are a xu, do not falter" ugh all the pressure and expectations yn is burdening herself w just continue to distress and weigh her down further...
• GIVE THIS GIRL A HUG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
• i hate that i like,,, get their mother's argument. like im on yn and hao's side fs but also... idk i think she just had sm going on and like mental struggles can be just as harmful as physical ones. im glad hao is so compassionate, and that her mother does have some sympathy for her daughter
• (but i know what comes next 😭😭😭😭😭)
• "a splendid display of athleticism" PLS IM GONNA SNORT SKFNDKFNFNF seokmin does have a knack for brightening the room :'))) even i was trying to mope w our mc, but then that line made me break lol
• HOPE CAN BE A SLIPPERY CREATURE YES WE KNOW .
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• TARA U WANT ME TO CRY DONT U (´Д⊂ヽ NOT IN THE WAY U LONG FOR?? THE CHASM BTWN UR FEELINGS AND HIS INDIFFERENCE???? EEEUUUGHHHH!!!
• i hate how supportive seok is being, like hope truly is a slippery creature. i feel like me and the mc both r getting strung along goddamn......
• love the details of the lady's tea and the garden party — great worldbuilding details to get me even more immersed
• AWWWH THE NEW DRESS, HER MAMA'S ADORATION FOR HER UGH 😭😭😭 i hate knowing the future. besides that, love the imagery of the dress like i can piece it together in my mind as if im sketching it out!! its so pretty :')) def befitting of a princess
• such a "slipping thru my fingers" moment 🤧🤧 like it's so starkly different from the time yn was getting ready for the debut presentation where she was just worried and freaking out; now she and her mom are /laughing/ and tho there r expectations, this will undoubtedly ease a couple of those worries
• oh the the anticipation is killing me — and then the ball is positively dismal >~<
• I WAS WAITING FOR SEOK TO FINALLY COME BY AND OFFER A DANCE LIKE UR YNS BESTIE COME HERE AND GIVE HER A HAND BY ASKING FOR HER HAND WINK WINK
• the mamas leading an army line is so funny lol and who said women cant fight??
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• BRUH i just speedran five different emotions like HOLY SHIT I LOVE SEOK > holy shit. does he love yn back? > holy shit this hurts > holy... shit... > oh fck. like the immediate realization that snaps into place when u out two and two together. i wanna say she's jumping to conclusions based on seok's initial surprise, but im also cynical like yn is being in this moment and yeah... idk
• OPEN HONEST DEVASTATING. TAKE A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ALREADY THE WAY THOSE THREE WORDS PUNCTURE MY CHEST
• the "how foolish of me" not only meant for the fact that she thought he'd gone into this w pure intentions, but also foolish of herself for believeing he actually wanted to dance w her, that she actually had a chance w him... oh i want to yeet myself off a cliff
• omg the argument btwn yn and hao... tensions were high, im afraid... like idk if chucking a shoe at his face was supposed to be funny but i feel yns fury and the angry tears like i know there were better ways to go abt this, but i am all for female rage!!!
• "the bitterness in ur chest is a wellspring of anguish" OHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 oh 😭 like it's catching up to her now. also, just the fact that hope is so slippery and caused her to make her entire reputation crumble is just... someone give this girl a hug, she was not built for this
• YOU'VE TAKEN SOMETHING PRECIOUS FROM ME???? some might say its her dignity, her reputation, her agency,,,, but we all know what it really was... or who...... i love snarling female rage dialogue
• do u know the taylor swift "right where u left me"? yeah thats this whole next section 😭💔 baby just becomes a ghost who haunts the place she was abandoned and wronged
• THAT LAST LINE IS LIKE THE EXECUTIONER'S PULL ON THE PULLEY TO LET THE GUILLOTINE BLADE FLY. LIKE OH THE POWER OF A SINGLE LINE LIKE THAT
despite knowing what was gonna happen, it still hit so hard, or rather, EVEN HARDER this time 😭😭😭 like my mouth is pulled into a permanent frown skcnekfnjf IM SO SAD FOR HER LIKE I DONT MIND BEING A SPINSTER MYSELF, BUT THE EXPECTATIONS THAT COME W HER SOCIAL STATION WONT ALLOW HER TO BE 😭😭😭 she will forecer be haunted by her choises and foolishness and im so sad for her 😭😭😭 tara, u are a cruel (yet talented...) mistress 😭
i... will be back tmrw... ��👍
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The Somerset Affair | Chapter 2: When the Music Stops
pairing: lsk x fem!reader genre: Bridgerton AU, friends to (?????) to eventual lovers, brother’s best friend, SLOWWWW BURNNN chapter wc: 8.8k warnings: alcohol consumption, societal expectations, crying, mentions of a panic attack (not being able to breathe), eventual smut, more to be added a/n: sorry sorry i know ch 2 took forever // as always, ENORMOUS thanks to indi @wongyuseokie for this GORGEOUSSSS banner // and to my lovely betas shu @welcometomyoasis lou @tusswrites haneul @chanranghaeys this could not have happened without you // 3rd chapter will be up faster than this one i swear!!!
summary: when the music stops and everything goes wrong, will seokmin always be there to defend you?
comment to be tagged when chapters are posted, or join the fic taglist here!
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The morning of your debut should have been perfect. Every detail had been painstakingly planned over months, from the delicate lace of your gown to the pearls in your hair. But as you sit in front of your vanity, eyes bloodshot and heavy with fatigue, you know deep in your bones that this day is not destined to go smoothly.
You had stayed up the entire night, restless, thinking about Seokmin. Every word he had said, every smile, every fleeting touch that had seemed so innocent before now felt charged with meaning, occupying your thoughts and stealing away any hope of restful sleep. The result was staring back at you in the mirror: bloodshot eyes, dark circles beneath them, and lips that trembled as your maid worked tirelessly to dress you. It’s a pity – no amount of powders or rouge can hide the exhaustion and heartbreak written plainly across your face.
The soft rustling of your white debutante gown fills the room, each movement whispering of elegance and careful tradition. The gown is a masterful creation, carefully chosen by your mother months ago to reflect the quiet dignity of your family’s name. Its bodice is fitted, meticulously embroidered with the finest ivory threads that weave delicate patterns of lilies and vines across the fabric, adding dimension without overpowering.
Around the neckline, a border of tiny pearls catches the morning light, giving the gown a subtle shimmer that, like everything else about it, speaks of refinement over opulence. The gown’s sleeves, long and sheer, are trimmed in lace as fine as a spider’s web, designed to lay gently against your skin rather than cling, as if even the gown itself recognizes the demands of decorum.
The skirts cascade from the waist in a perfect fall of lace and satin, layers upon layers of gossamer fabric that float with your every step. Each layer, though fragile to the touch, is artfully arranged to maintain the gown’s perfect shape, a testament to the skill of its makers and the patience it took to assemble. At the hem, more intricate lacework peeks out, creating a subtle scalloped edge that brushes softly against the floor, finishing the gown with a grace that echoes the restraint of your mother’s discerning eye.
You cannot deny that the gown itself is a marvel, designed to highlight and enhance rather than dominate. It is beautiful, in the way a rose is beautiful—with an elegance that feels both timeless and delicate, whispering that a lady’s virtue lies in restraint, in never asking to be noticed and yet never failing to command attention.
But the corset. Oh, the corset. It felt as though it were designed to squeeze the very life from you.
“Breathe in, my lady,” your maid instructs, her voice strained from the effort of pulling at the stiff fabric. She pulls at the stays until your ribs protest in pain.
“I can’t breathe in anymore,” you bite out, trying and failing to draw in a proper breath. The corset feels like it’s made of iron, constricting your lungs until your vision begins to blur. “It’s too tight. I— I can’t—”
But your lady’s maid is relentless, ignoring your protests as she cinches you even tighter. She ties the final knot with a satisfied sigh. “There. That should hold.”
Hold? It felt more like it was keeping you prisoner, you think grimly, but before you can voice any more complaints, your mother sweeps into the room, her graceful presence filling the space with a quiet authority. Dressed in an elegant gown of soft gray silk, she pauses to take in your appearance, her sharp eyes noting every detail.
Your mother’s eyes scan your dress approvingly, but when her gaze lands on your face, her expression falters. “Dearest, you look... unwell.”
Your heart sinks. “I didn’t sleep much last night,” you confess, eyes cast downward, though you don’t dare mention why. The last thing you need is your mother knowing Seokmin has occupied your thoughts in such a way.
Your mother sighs softly and moves to stand beside you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “This day is important, darling. I had hoped you would be well-rested, but...” She trails off, her tone not unkind, but laced with concern. “There is no time now to dwell on it. The Queen waits for no one.”
You nod, feeling a rush of guilt, knowing how much effort has gone into preparing you for this moment. But the weight of the corset and your sleepless night are conspiring to make you feel utterly overwhelmed. Your mother notices, of course. She always does.
“Try not to worry too much,” she says, her voice softening, though it still holds that undercurrent of expectation. “You must keep your chin high, shoulders back. No one need know what little sleep you had. You are beautiful, my dear, no matter the circumstances.”
Her words, though comforting, do little to ease the anxiety building in your chest. But there’s no time left. Your lady’s maid places the final pearl pins in your hair, and your mother gives you a reassuring squeeze before she gestures toward the door. “It’s time.”
Your nerves flutter violently as you’re escorted downstairs and into the awaiting carriage. The ride to the palace feels both endless and far too short. Every bump in the road jostles your already-tight corset, pressing against your ribs and leaving you breathless. The palace is as magnificent as you had heard—no, it’s more. The palace itself is a marvel of architecture, an opulent structure that seems more the work of fantasy than reality. Vaulted ceilings soar impossibly high, held aloft by marble columns adorned with delicate carvings of ivy and mythical creatures that seem to come to life in the flickering candlelight. Every archway is flanked by gilded moldings, winding and curling like golden vines, each detail rendered with the precision of a master sculptor.
Each corner, each angle of the palace seems to lead to something grander than the last, as if it were designed to swallow you whole in beauty. And perhaps it is, you think, as you press a hand over your fluttering heart. For despite the elegance, there is an undeniable sense of intimidation in the sheer scale of it all—a reminder of how small you are in the face of such a place, and of the scrutiny that awaits within these towering, timeworn walls.
You can feel the architecture itself imposing upon you, weighing down like the firm hand of tradition. For a fleeting moment, you imagine yourself wandering through the palace alone, exploring every column and arch, free of the hundreds of eyes upon you. But here, now, with the gaze of history and expectation pressing down, you straighten your shoulders, drawing in a steadying breath, and follow your Mama into the Great Hall. 
The hall is grander than anything you had even dared to imagine. The polished marble floors shine like glass, capturing reflections in delicate ripples that turn the passing gowns of debutantes into pools of lace and silk. Chandeliers hang from above, so immense and dazzling that they appear to drip crystal stars. They illuminate the room with a glow that is almost celestial, casting every inch of the hall in a warmth befitting the Queen herself.
To your right and left, mirrors taller than any man stretch to the ceiling, framed in gold leaf as intricate as lacework. The mirrors hold your gaze as you pass, capturing the girls beside you as they float forward with their mothers, each one a shimmering, blushing vision in white. You see yourself in these mirrors too, and although the gown fits you perfectly, somehow you feel like you’re wearing another’s skin. For a moment, you imagine your reflection whispering back, “Are you really here?”
The walls are covered in the richest velvet, deep greens and ruby reds that somehow make the hall feel even grander, as if you’ve stepped into the very heart of royalty itself. Enormous portraits of past queens and kings line the hall, each gaze strong and serene, as if they’re assessing every girl who dares to walk beneath their painted eyes. Somewhere in your chest, a knot forms and tightens. It’s strange, the feeling of being surrounded by so much opulence, as if the walls are watching, waiting for something that only they understand.
And perhaps that’s why your breath is so unsteady, why your heartbeat seems to echo through the hall in time with your footsteps. The palace, beautiful as it is, leaves you feeling like a creature of some lesser world, an intruder who has somehow wandered into a realm that does not belong to you. It’s not so much a place as a spectacle, a stunning, overbearing reminder of all that you must live up to, of all the scrutiny you’ll face from these grand walls, these glittering chandeliers, and yes, the very Queen herself. Every step feels like you are walking deeper into a lion’s den, where your every move will be scrutinized, your worth as a young lady judged by the sharpest eyes in the kingdom.
You move with the other debutantes, each girl dressed in white, adorned with jewels and delicate veils, the picture of youth and grace. The line seems to stretch forever as you wait your turn to be announced. The air is thick with anticipation, the rustle of satin and silk as the ladies murmur quietly to one another, some excited, others as nervous as you feel. Your own dress, despite its beauty, feels like a trap. The corset restricts your every breath, and the weight of expectation presses on your shoulders like a leaden cloak.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you scan the room, your nerves growing worse by the second. And then, in the far corner, you spot them. Minghao stands with an air of composure, his eyes quietly observing the room, his presence as regal as ever. Your brother watches the proceedings with a detached elegance, his eyes flickering over the debutantes without much interest. His gaze flicks to you, and for a moment, you feel a strange sense of calm knowing your brother is watching.
But next to him, is Seokmin.
He stands taller than most, his posture rigid but his face warm, though tinged with concern. While your brother is a portrait of his birthright and title, Seokmin is different. His gaze is sharper, more intent, and when his eyes find yours, the familiar comfort of his presence makes your heart stutter. You try to remind yourself to breathe, but the memory of his touch, his words, from the night prior clings to you like a shadow.
Seokmin’s expression softens when he sees you, and for a moment, the whole room seems to fall away. His lips quirk in a small, reassuring smile, and though you try to return it, your own face feels tight, your nerves too frayed to muster anything convincing.
As if sensing your unease, Seokmin’s eyes narrow with concern. Does he notice how your corset presses too tightly into your ribs? Or how your eyes are puffy from lack of sleep? The warmth in his gaze is mixed with a flicker of something unreadable, something almost protective. You are painfully aware of his gaze, and the thought of him watching you stumble through this day feels like too much to bear.
The line of debutantes inches forward, each young lady presented with grace and poise, or at least, the appearance of it. Your nerves churn violently in your stomach as your name is finally called. Your mother tightens her grip, ever so slightly, and it’s a silent reminder – You are a Xu. Do not falter. 
“Miss Y/N Xu, sister of the Duke of Somerset,” the herald crows, and every eye in the room fixes on you. “Presented by her mother, the Right Honorable Dowager Duchess of Somerset.”
Your legs feel like jelly as you take your first step forward, your skirts swishing around you. The weight of the gown, the tightness of your corset, and the heavy stares from all corners of the room press down on you. You try to steady your breathing, but the corset refuses to allow for even that small comfort.
Just as you take a step, disaster strikes.
Your heel catches on the hem of your gown.
You stumble forward, arms flailing slightly to catch yourself, but the weight of your skirts and the tightness of your corset make it impossible to recover gracefully. A collective gasp echoes through the room, and you feel your cheeks flush with mortification.
The whispers are instant, rippling through the crowd like wildfire. You can feel the stares—sharp, judgmental, unforgiving. Your mother’s grip tightens, and though she says nothing, you can feel her disapproval radiating through her hold. She doesn’t need to scold you—not in public. But the sting of her disappointment is enough to make you want to shrink into the floor.
Still, you manage to regain your footing, if only barely. You take a shaky breath and continue forward, your knees trembling with each step. But it gets worse. With every move, the corset seems to tighten further, squeezing the breath from your lungs until black spots dance in the corners of your vision.
Just as you’re about to curtsy before the Queen, your knees buckle.
A choking cough rips from your throat, loud and desperate, echoing through the grand hall. You’re bent over at the waist, gasping for breath, your corset pressing tighter with every moment. You cough again, and again, unable to stop, your eyes watering as you struggle to compose yourself.
The Queen, perched on her throne in all her regal glory, watches with a raised eyebrow, her disapproval palpable. Her expression is one of distaste, as if you are a spectacle—an amusing disaster.
Your mother murmurs beside you, “Steady yourself,” and her grip tightens with fury and disappointment in equal measure. It’s too late. Your corset has robbed you of the ability to breathe, and the weight of the entire room’s gaze crushes you. Your vision swims again, and for one horrifying moment, you think you might faint right there in front of the Queen.
Finally, you manage to straighten yourself, gasping for air, your face flushed and tear-streaked. You risk a glance toward the far side of the room, where Minghao and Seokmin still stand.
Minghao’s face is impassive, though his eyes are dark with what could only be disappointment. Seokmin, on the other hand, looks as though he might bolt across the room to help you. His hands clench at his sides, his jaw tight as his eyes flick between you and the Queen.
The Queen’s cold, cutting voice slices through the silence. “Miss Xu,” she says slowly, her tone dripping with disapproval. “It seems you are... unwell.”
Your heart sinks into your stomach. You manage a wobbly curtsy, your knees nearly giving out beneath you again as you lower yourself.
“Perhaps Miss Y/N should reconsider her readiness for society,” the Queen continues icily. “A young lady of such delicate constitution may not be suited for the rigors of court.”
Her words land like a blow. You rise slowly, trying to keep your chin held high, though your hands tremble and your vision remains blurry from the humiliation. All you want is for this moment to end. To disappear.
As you retreat, the whispers rise in volume, filling the grand hall with gossip and speculation. You can feel the weight of every gaze on you, every judgment passed in an instant. But it is Seokmin’s gaze that you search for in the crowd. His eyes meet yours, and though they are filled with concern, they are also gentle, understanding. A small comfort in the midst of your disaster.
Your mother, ever composed, whispers to you as she leads you from the room, her voice calm but firm. “We will speak of this later, darling. But for now, we must leave with grace.”
You nod weakly, still too breathless and embarrassed to respond. And as you step out of the grand hall, the day that was supposed to mark your entrance into society feels like anything but. All you can think about is how miserably everything went wrong—and how, even in the midst of it all, Seokmin’s gaze had found yours, steady and unwavering.
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The silence presses on as the carriage trundles through the city streets, each wheel hitting the cobbles with a sound like a hammer to your heart. You’re trapped, here in this carriage, with no escape from your mother’s disappointment or the day’s memories—the whispered laughter, the blunder before the Queen, and the sheer, unbearable heat of your mortification.
Minghao’s hand rests over yours for only a heartbeat, but it’s enough to keep you from crumbling entirely. Though he releases your hand quickly to avoid Mama’s watchful eye, the gesture is enough to ground you, pulling you back to this place instead of letting you spiral into all the things you could have, should have done differently.
At last, your mother clears her throat, a carefully composed sound that cuts through the quiet like a knife.
“Well,” she says, her voice clipped and precise, “that was… quite the spectacle.” Her tone is a blend of disappointment and a tight, forced restraint. “I had hoped, naturally, for a… more dignified presentation.”
You swallow, feeling the flush of embarrassment burn anew. “I—” you start, but the words catch, failing under the weight of everything you wish to explain and the knowledge that no explanation will undo what’s done.
She adjusts her gloves with a sharp, precise tug, a calculated movement that somehow manages to convey her frustration without a single word. “I trust,” she begins slowly, every syllable measured, “that you understand the gravity of today’s events.”
You swallow, focusing on the intricate embroidery of your gown, tracing the delicate threads to distract yourself from the pressing sting of her words.
“Mother, I—” you stammer, but she holds up a gloved hand, silencing you before the words even form.
“We spent months preparing for this moment,” she continues, her voice tight with restrained emotion. “Months, to ensure you would have the debut any young lady of our family should. Your dress, your bearing, every detail was attended to so you would represent us with grace, with decorum. And yet, today…” She trails off, her eyes gliding over you with a look that could curdle milk.
“It wasn’t her fault,” Minghao interjects quietly, and though his tone is gentle, there’s a faint edge to his words, as though even he cannot quite hold back his defense. He shoots a quick, sidelong glance at you, a small, reluctant smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “The Queen’s hall was suffocating, and the entire affair was clearly designed to unnerve anyone in attendance.”
Your mother’s expression softens just a fraction as she regards her son, but she’s hardly swayed. “The Queen’s hall has been the site of countless debuts. If anything, the occasion called for composure, not… fainting spells.”
You clench your fists, the fabric of your dress twisting between your fingers, and look resolutely at the floor. As painful as it is to hear, you know your mother is not entirely wrong. Today was supposed to be your moment of triumph, the day you stepped forward as a young woman ready for society, carrying your family’s reputation with poise and dignity.
But instead, you remember the heat that had pressed in from all sides, the feeling of your corset cutting into your ribs, how your hands had trembled with each step. It was supposed to have been an easy task, to walk forward, cursty, and meet the Queen’s gaze with calm respect. And yet, you had felt every gaze upon you like a burn, each stumble echoing through the endless hall. And then, Seokmin’s eyes finding yours, calm and steady…
The memory stirs something warm within you, a faint flicker of relief that somehow dampens the embarrassment. The Queen’s gaze may have been unyielding, your mother’s disappointment all-consuming, but for that one moment, you had felt tethered, no longer alone.
Outside, the sun dips lower, casting long shadows across the city as the carriage continues its steady roll homeward. The silence stretches again, and the weight of it settles around you like an invisible veil. Minghao catches your eye, and though he says nothing, the look he gives you speaks volumes—a quiet reassurance, a reminder that this one day does not define you, that he still believes in you despite every misstep.
Your mother finally sighs, a faint softening in her shoulders. “We’ll regroup,” she murmurs, almost to herself. “There will be more opportunities, of course, but we’ll need to be mindful, thoughtful. A second chance may not be as kind.” She glances at you, and though her expression remains stern, there’s a glimmer of something almost like understanding.
The carriage ride stretches on in silence once more, each of you lost in thoughts. You glance out the window, watching the city roll by, lanterns casting fleeting golden glows against the carriage walls. It feels surreal, how a day so longed for turned into a series of mishaps, one after another. But as the carriage rounds a corner, you catch a memory from earlier: Seokmin’s eyes, grounding you, unwavering, somehow knowing how terrifying each step felt, how every misstep seemed amplified beneath the weight of so many watching.
As the carriage wheels finally begin to slow, approaching the gates of your family estate, you feel a shift within yourself. Today may have been a disaster, and yet, Seokmin’s gaze and Minghao’s quiet support linger, like small anchors in the storm of the day.
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The drawing room is a sanctuary of elegance, its ornate moldings and rich fabrics designed to impress. Tall windows frame the view of the manicured gardens outside, sunlight pouring through in golden streams that dance across the polished wooden floor. Yet, despite the beauty surrounding you, it feels more like a gilded cage today. The delicate scent of lavender from the nearby vase does little to soothe the turmoil within.
You sit hunched over a needlepoint project, your fingers fumbling with the bright threads that feel foreign against your skin. The canvas before you, a swirl of colors and patterns, seems to mock your inability to focus. Your mind wanders far beyond the needlework, replaying the events of your disastrous debut like a never-ending nightmare. Each time you think of it, a fresh wave of humiliation washes over you, sharp and unyielding, like a thorn that refuses to dislodge itself from your heart.
“Goodness, how is one expected to focus with this nonsense?” you mutter under your breath, the needle slipping from your fingers yet again and leaving a careless knot in the thread. You curse softly, frustration bubbling to the surface.
Your mother sits comfortably in her armchair, her brow slightly furrowed as she loses herself in the pages of a novel, the rustle of paper punctuating the silence. Minghao lounges on the settee across from you, flipping through a collection of sketches, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement at his artistic efforts. Every so often, his gaze flickers towards you, a mixture of concern and curiosity etched into his features, but he respects your silence, understanding that you are still recovering from the scarring events of your debut into polite society.
Just then, the door swings open, and Seokmin steps into the room, his presence a burst of light that seems to chase away the shadows clinging to your thoughts. It has been years since the butler last announced his arrival—his visits are far too frequent now, and you can’t help but feel a mix of warmth and apprehension at his entrance. His usually buoyant demeanor is tempered by a trace of concern as he takes in the scene before him, the way your shoulders droop as if weighed down by invisible chains.
“Good morning!” he declares, his voice bright yet careful, testing the waters of your melancholy. “I do hope I’m not intruding.”
“Not at all,” your mother replies, glancing up from her book, her eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “In fact, you may be just what our dear girl needs.”
You offer a small, half-hearted smile, the corners of your lips barely lifting. “And what would that be? A distraction or a dose of reality?”
Seokmin approaches, his smile as warm as the sunlight flooding the room. “A bit of both, if you’ll allow me.” He perches himself on the arm of your chair, leaning in just enough to draw your focus from the needlepoint chaos. “That was quite the debut you had, dear friend. How are you holding up?”
“Barely,” you sigh, tossing the errant needlepoint aside as if it were the source of all your woes. “I feel as if I’ve stumbled through a door marked ‘exit’ into an abyss of mortification.”
His eyes widen with sympathy, and in that moment, your heart flutters, torn between admiration and the painful reality that he may never feel the same. Seokmin has a way of making the world feel lighter, yet your feelings for him are a weight that often threatens to pull you under.
“Ah, yes,” he nods sagely, as if you have just shared the most profound wisdom. “The abyss of polite society can be quite unforgiving. I believe it’s marked with ‘no entrance’ signs, but alas, they are easily overlooked.”
Minghao chuckles softly, his attention now fully diverted from his sketches. “You do have a gift for exaggeration, Seokmin.”
“It’s a talent,” Seokmin replies, feigning an air of grandeur, his hand pressing dramatically to his heart. “But truly, do not let the Queen’s judgment define you. You are far too radiant for that.”
You snort, the sound escaping before you can suppress it. “Radiant? Is that what you call it when one trips over their own gown and nearly faints in front of our sovereign?”
“Why, yes! A splendid display of athleticism!” he shoots back, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’ve inadvertently entertained a room full of people—something they are certain to remember for ages.”
“But not in the way I had hoped,” you reply, frustration seeping into your voice as the memory of the evening flashes before your eyes, a storm of embarrassment churning within you.
“Ah, but hope can be a slippery creature,” he counters, tilting his head to meet your gaze. “What matters is how you choose to move forward. I have heard of many a lady whose debut was marred by similar accidents—yet they rise from the ashes like phoenixes, dazzling everyone with their resilience.”
“Is that your way of saying I should make a grand return to society?” You raise an eyebrow, your heart flickering with the suggestion. “Perhaps adorned in feathers and sequins to distract from my previous mistake?”
“I’d be the first to support such a feat,” he replies earnestly, the sincerity in his voice a soothing balm for your frayed nerves. But beneath your amusement lies an aching truth: his encouragement only highlights the chasm between your feelings and his indifference. He will never look at you the way you long for.
“Yes, Lord Lee, what a wonderful idea!” your mother exclaims, her book long forgotten. “The Fitzwilliam Ball is to be held in the coming weeks—what a splendid way for our darling girl to re-enter society!”
Your face falls. A ball? So soon? The very thought sends a tremor of panic racing through you. “Mama, I—”
“Yes, Mother, a splendid idea indeed,” Minghao muses, a teasing glint in his eye. When you turn your glare to him, he sticks his tongue out meanly, and Seokmin suppresses a chuckle.
You take a deep breath, fighting against the swell of anxiety rising in your chest. “I’m not certain I’m ready for another ball, not after—” you start, but the words die on your lips as Seokmin’s gaze locks onto yours. His expression is gentle yet determined, a silent encouragement that stirs something deep within you.
“Ready or not, life moves on,” he says softly, leaning closer as if sharing a secret. “You have to take the reins, even if the prospect is daunting.”
You want to believe him, to embrace his unwavering optimism, but doubt gnaws at you. Can you truly face another crowd, the whispers, the judgment? Your heart flutters erratically, caught in a tempest of affection and despair. Seokmin’s eyes shine with an earnestness that quickens your pulse, yet it only reminds you of the gulf that lies between your feelings and his casual indifference.
“Life indeed moves on,” you echo, your voice barely above a whisper, more to yourself than to anyone else. “But what if I stumble again? What if I make an even greater fool of myself?”
Seokmin’s smile falters for just a moment, replaced by a flicker of understanding that cuts through the air like a knife. “We all stumble, but that’s how we learn to rise,” he replies, his tone steady yet soft. “And besides, I’ll be there. I promise I’ll help you navigate any disaster.”
His words wrap around you like a lifeline, a flicker of hope igniting your heart. But as the warmth of his promise settles in, a cold weight begins to press upon you. You look into his eyes, searching for something more, but find only the steadfast gaze of a friend—someone who would catch you if you fell, but only as a friend.
“Right,” you murmur, the pain of acceptance settling in your chest like a stone, heavy and unyielding, a reminder of the distance between you.
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The late evening light filters softly through the sheer curtains of your room, casting a warm glow that barely reaches the pile of books haphazardly stacked beside your bed. These books, filled with tales of love and adventure, have provided a much-needed refuge from the reality of your recent debut. For days now, you’ve chosen to cocoon yourself in their comforting embrace, avoiding the whispers and curious glances of society that followed you after your disastrous introduction.
You had resolutely refused to attend any of the society events your mother deemed essential—the lady’s tea, with its orchestrated conversations and veiled judgments, or the garden party, where laughter seemed to echo around you while you felt only isolation. The thought of facing the same debutantes, the same mamas, their glances lingering a moment too long on you, made your stomach churn. Instead, you preferred the solace of your room, the pages of your books offering both distraction and comfort as you lost yourself in worlds far removed from the judgmental eyes of the ton.
But tonight, your mother is insistent. At last, the Fitzwilliam Ball is upon you, and you have no escape from your mother’s gentle chiding. “Darling,” she calls gently, her voice a melody that pulls you from the pages of your latest escape. The delicate scent of lavender wafts through the air as she steps into the room, her presence commanding yet warm. It is an unusual moment—your lady’s maid typically oversees your dressing, managing the layers of fabric and the intricate details of your ensemble. But today, it is your mother who steps into that role, a significant act that carries with it the weight of her affection and a chance to bridge the gap that your previous missteps had created.
“It’s time to get ready, my dear,” she says, her tone gentle but firm, as she approaches your wardrobe. As she opens the doors, the sight of your gown hanging inside takes your breath away.
The dress, an ethereal creation of lavender silk, shimmers like moonlight trapped in fabric. The bodice is adorned with intricate embroidery that depicts delicate vines and blossoms, each stitch telling a story of artistry and care. The sleeves are fitted, with lace cascading down to create a soft ruffle at the wrist, and the skirt flows in layers, each tier of lace and silk billowing like clouds as it moves. It is a gown befitting a princess, meticulously designed to showcase your family’s esteemed standing while allowing a hint of youthful exuberance to shine through.
“This gown is truly magnificent,” you murmur, your fingers tracing the embroidered flowers as your mother gently lifts it from the wardrobe. “I can’t believe you chose it yourself.”
“Of course, I did. It’s time for your grand re-entrance to society, after all,” she replies, a smile dancing on her lips as she helps you into the gown. The fabric wraps around you like a dream, soft and luxurious, but as your mother laces the bodice, the realization of how tightly it pulls leaves you breathless. Each tug of the laces feels like a reminder of the expectations that have come to define you, but your mother’s presence softens the edges of that pressure.
Yet, it is not discomfort that fills the room. Instead, the sounds of your mother’s laughter and intelligence wrap themselves around you. Your mother’s hands are gentle as she fastens each lace, her fingers brushing against your skin in a manner that reassures you. The stern disappointment of your debut, where you felt like a shadow beneath the weight of expectations, seems to dissipate, replaced by her usual grace and kindness. As she works, her voice drifts like a melody, recounting stories from her own youth, her laughter echoing softly against the mirror as if the memories bring light to the room.
With every loop of ribbon and every gentle tug, she weaves a tapestry of love and support, a tangible reminder that tonight is not merely a duty but a celebration of who you are. As she arranges your hair into an elegant updo, delicately weaving in pearl pins that glimmer like stars, you catch a glimpse of the woman she has always been beneath the layers of propriety. The warmth of her presence washes over you, igniting a flicker of hope that perhaps tonight will mark a new beginning.
“Are you ready?” she asks, stepping back to admire her handiwork, a satisfied gleam in her eyes.
“I suppose as ready as I’ll ever be,” you reply, taking a moment to admire your reflection. The gown transforms you into a vision of beauty, yet beneath the surface, you feel a tempest of uncertainty swirling within you.
“Now, let’s see what your brother thinks.” Your mother gestures toward the door, and as you descend the staircase, your heart quickens with every step.
At the foot of the stairs, Minghao waits patiently, the embodiment of duty and familial pride. His presence, regal and calm, adds to the moment’s gravity. Dressed in a tailored coat that accentuates his stature, he stands as the dutiful son and duke, ready to escort both you and your mother to the ball. The contrast between his composed demeanor and your own fluttering heart is stark, yet comforting. As you make your way down the stairs, your mother’s gentle squeeze of your hand gives you a modicum of strength, each step drawing you closer to the world outside that awaits your return.
“Sister,” Mighao greets, mirth dancing in his eyes. “I suppose if tonight is your big night, this gown does not offend the eyes.”
“Minghao!” Your mother’s rebuke is instant, a gentle reprimand that lightens the atmosphere with her authority.
“For goodness’ sake, brother,” you admonish, donning a façade of false bravado to hide the anxiety swirling within. “It seems as if you would simply keel over before you ever paid me a proper compliment!” You attempt to feign indignation, but the corners of your mouth betray you with the hint of a smile.
As you reach the bottom step, he extends his arm, a silent invitation to escort both you and your mother to the ball. It’s a gesture of duty, but there’s an undertone of affection that brings warmth to your heart. He may be the dutiful son and duke, poised and impeccably dressed in his tailored attire, but in this moment, he is simply your brother—standing beside you as a steadfast protector against the uncertainties of the evening ahead.
Your mother glances at both of you, her eyes sparkling with pride and a hint of nostalgia. “Shall we?” she prompts, her voice carrying a note of excitement that sends a flutter through your stomach.
With a deep breath, you take Minghao’s arm, feeling the reassuring strength of his presence as he leads you both toward the waiting carriage. The air outside is brisk, filled with the scent of blooming jasmine and the distant hum of music preparing to fill the grand halls. Each step you take resonates with the rhythm of your heartbeat, a mix of trepidation and hope.
As you settle into the plush interior of the carriage, the door closes with a soft click, sealing you away from the familiar confines of home and ushering you into a world of possibility. The grandeur of the evening awaits, and as the carriage rolls forward, the cobblestones beneath you echo with the anticipation of what’s to come.
You can’t shake the feeling that this night holds the promise of something new—perhaps redemption, or at the very least, the opportunity to reclaim your place among the society that had once felt so cruel. As the carriage sways gently with each turn, you steal a glance at your mother and brother, their expressions a blend of excitement and encouragement. In this moment, surrounded by their unwavering support, you begin to believe that maybe, just maybe, tonight could be different.
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Fate is certainly a cruel mistress—despite your greatest hopes, the ball is positively dismal.
The ballroom is every bit as grand as you’d imagined—no, grander. Chandeliers dripping with golden light cascade overhead, casting a warm, ethereal glow over the polished marble floor. The air is thick with the intoxicating scent of roses and jasmine, mingling with the lively music of the orchestra, where violins soar and the occasional trill of laughter punctuates the harmony. Silks and satins swirl in every direction as the season’s debutantes twirl with their suitors, their gowns a riot of color that makes you feel like a ghost in comparison.
But none of it feels as magical as you once thought it would. Instead, you stand to the side, clutching the silk of your gown, its intricate lace and delicate pearls feeling like a weight rather than a luxury. Your mother had ensured that every stitch was perfect, every detail immaculate, to help erase the memory of your disastrous debut. Yet, it hasn’t worked. The whispers haven’t stopped. Even here, amidst the splendor, you can feel the gazes sliding over you, only to dart away, as if your very presence is a reminder of your failure.
The other debutantes are radiant, their smiles bright as they are swept onto the dance floor by handsome, eligible gentlemen. But you... you might as well be invisible.
Your heart sinks as you watch them, a heavy weight settling in your chest. This is meant to be a night of joy and celebration, yet you feel like a fragile glass ornament left behind, forgotten in the bustle of a festive occasion. The laughter and music create a vibrant tapestry of life around you, but inside, you’re drowning in a sea of insecurity and self-doubt.
Just when despair threatens to envelop you entirely, a presence beside you breaks through the haze. Seokmin, as effortlessly charming as ever, sidles up, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. “Quite the spectacle, isn’t it?” he remarks, his voice low so only you can hear. “I’m certain some of these mamas could lead an army with the way they maneuver their daughters.”
You blink at him, surprised by his lightheartedness. Despite the heat of embarrassment burning your cheeks, a smile pulls at your lips, momentarily pushing aside the shadows clouding your heart.
Before you can respond, he holds his hand out to you, a silent invitation, and for a moment, you hesitate. Seokmin, who could have any lady in the room, is asking you to dance? Your heart stutters, a wild flutter of hope mingling with anxiety, and you glance around, acutely aware of the whispers beginning to stir again. People are noticing the exchange, their eyes narrowing in speculation. But Seokmin stands before you, his hand outstretched, waiting with an easy confidence that momentarily disarms you.
With a deep breath, you place your gloved hand in his, and he leads you to the center of the ballroom as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The moment your feet hit the floor, however, the murmurs begin in earnest, slicing through the enchantment that had briefly settled around you.
“Isn’t that the girl?” someone whispers, just loud enough for you to hear. “The one who fainted?”
“I’d heard,” another voice chimes in, “that no one would ask her to dance. Poor dear, but what did she expect after such a performance?”
You keep your eyes firmly fixed on Seokmin, but each word is like a needle, sharp and painful, pricking at your composure. The worst of it comes when you catch sight of one of the mamas, her face set in a smirk as she whispers to her daughter—the same daughter you had once taken pianoforte lessons with. The girl lets out a small, mean-spirited laugh, and your stomach twists, the laughter echoing like a death toll.
The memory of your debut hangs over you like a dark cloud, heavy and suffocating. Your embarrassment simmers, threatening to boil over. The murmurs become unbearable, and instinctively, you move to pull away from Seokmin, ready to flee. But before you can, his grip tightens, firm but gentle.
“Leaving so soon?” he teases, his voice low and playful, a lifeline in the midst of the storm. “Didn’t your mama teach you it’s bad manners to leave in the middle of a dance?”
You try to focus on his words, on the feel of his hand in yours, but it’s no use. You feel like every eye is on you, dissecting your every movement, judging, whispering, laughing. Seokmin is a shield, but he can’t block all the venom aimed at you.
“I can’t—” you begin, your voice thick with emotion, but Seokmin cuts you off.
He reaches up, loosening a perfectly pinned curl from your hair, letting it fall gently by your cheek. His eyes are soft, almost tender, and in that moment, you feel something flutter to life in your chest. “Eyes on me, Tulip,” he murmurs, and the way he says it—so calm, so sure—makes your heart skip a beat.
For the briefest moment, you think he might love you. That despite the gossip, despite the humiliation, Seokmin sees you—the girl beneath the debutante, the one who has admired him from afar for so long. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you see Minghao. He stands by the edge of the ballroom, watching. And then—he nods. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but Seokmin notices, and he nods back.
Your blood runs cold.
You blink up at Seokmin, the warmth in your chest turning to ice. “Did you do this because Minghao asked you to?” The words slip out before you can stop them, low and desperate, laced with betrayal.
Seokmin’s brow furrows. “Do what?”
“This. The dance.” You glance around at the swirling crowd, the eyes that have never left you. “The attention. Did you ask me because he wanted you to? To salvage my prospects?”
His confusion is genuine, but the truth is written in his face—open, honest, and devastating. He hesitates, and it’s all you need to know.
“Damn you,” you whisper, voice shaking with fury and hurt. His eyes widen, shocked by the venom in your voice, the curse slipping from your lips like something foreign. “Damn you, Lee Seokmin.”
“Y/N—” he starts, his voice softening, trying to explain, to defend himself. But you don’t give him the chance.
“I thought,” you continue, the words tumbling out in a rush, “I thought you asked me because you wanted to, not because you were told to. I thought you held me in higher regard than this.” You laugh bitterly, a sound that catches in your throat. “How foolish of me.”
The onlookers are whispering more now, their curiosity piqued by the tension in the air, the way your voice trembles with barely contained emotion. But you don’t care. You’re done caring.
With a mocking curtsy, you drop your hands from his and step back. “My lord,” you say, dripping with sarcasm, “I do apologize for any inconvenience to your social standing.”
Seokmin’s eyes widen, panic flashing in them as he realizes the gravity of your words, the weight of what you’re about to do. “Y/N, wait—”
But you don’t wait. You turn on your heel and stalk toward the ballroom’s exit, your skirts swirling around you in a flurry of lilac silk and lace, your heart pounding painfully in your chest. The gasps and murmurs of the guests fade into the background as you flee, your vision blurred with unshed tears.
Behind you, Seokmin’s voice calls out, desperate, pleading. “Y/N, please—stay—”
But you don’t look back. You run.
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The chill of the night air bites at your skin as you emerge from the grand ballroom, the sounds of the festivities quickly swallowed by the night. Minghao is hot on your heels, and you hear the familiar click of his shoes echoing against the cobblestone streets. As you enter the carriage, your fury erupts like a dam breaking.
“How dare you meddle in my life?” you exclaim, the words bursting forth with a fervor that sends a shiver down your spine. The tears spill over, mingling with the delicate fabric, each droplet a testament to your exasperation. “I wish to be left alone!”
Minghao, ever the picture of serene composure, raises an eyebrow, though his calm demeanor only serves to ignite your temper further. “I’m only trying to help you, dear sister,” he replies, his voice as soothing as a summer breeze.
“Help? Is that what you call this? You think I’m some delicate flower that requires your constant tending?” Your heart beats faster, each pulse an echo of your indignation. “You are not my keeper, Minghao!”
He opens his mouth, surely to deliver some well-meaning retort, but you are not in the mood for restraint. “You think I can’t manage my own affairs? That I need you to dictate who I should associate with? Let me remind you, I am not a child!”
In a fit of fury, you throw one of your shoes toward him, the delicate slipper soaring through the air; Minghao ducks just in time, the shoe landing with a soft thud against the carriage wall.
“Is this truly your idea of a civilized discussion?” he remarks, feigning offense. “Throwing footwear instead of engaging in rational discourse? My, how you’ve mastered the art of temper tantrums!”
“Better to throw a shoe than to be lectured like a schoolgirl!” you counter, your voice rising to match his. “You presume to know what is best for me, but you are merely reflecting your own apprehensions! You have no concept of my struggles!”
Minghao’s brow furrows, and for a fleeting moment, his expression softens, as if he might relent. But then he leans forward, his voice low and fervent. “And you believe that sulking in the corner will resolve anything? You are only isolating yourself further!”
“Perhaps I wish to be alone!” you declare, your voice ringing with defiance, the words spilling out like water from a broken dam. “Perhaps I grow weary of this charade, that everything is perfect when it is most decidedly not!”
A tense silence envelops the carriage, the air thick with unspoken words. You both breathe heavily, the conflict hanging between you like a fine silk thread ready to snap. The rest of the ride is steeped in a heavy silence, each passing moment thickening the air with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. You lean against the plush seat of the carriage, your gaze fixed on the world outside. The blurred lights of the city flicker past, dimming into the encroaching darkness, and with each glimmer that fades from view, a piece of your heart seems to shatter.
Inside, your thoughts spiral. Betrayal gnaws at you like a ravenous beast, devouring any remnants of confidence you had managed to muster before the ball. Seokmin was supposed to be your ally in this fight, your so-called “loyal servant”; a beacon of warmth amidst hushed whispers. Yet now, as the reality settles in, you realize he is merely Minghao's friend, not yours. 
How could you have been so naïve? Your mind races back to moments you once cherished: the laughter shared over private nicknames, the comfort of his presence when you felt small and insignificant. He had danced with you, yes, but it had been an act of duty, an obligation to your brother, not a genuine desire to hold you close. You had hoped, foolishly, that he might look beyond your failed debut, that he might understand the person beneath the gown and lace. Yet here you are, reduced to a mere pawn in a game you didn’t even want to play.
A sob catches in your throat, but you swallow it down. Instead, you grip the edges of your gown tightly, feeling the intricate lace and delicate pearls dig into your palms, until you are sure you will have bruises in the morning.
How could Seokmin have allowed himself to be used this way? Did he not care enough to stand by you when it mattered most? He had seen you, yes, but only through the lens of loyalty to Minghao, not as the woman you wished to be, not as the friend you had thought he saw.
By the time the carriage arrives at your home, the bitterness in your chest is a wellspring of anguish. The vibrant ball is now a distant memory, a dream turned nightmare, and all you can do is silently mourn the friendship you thought would endure. You glance at Minghao, his face set in a mask of determination, oblivious to the storm of emotion swirling inside you.
As you step out of the carriage, he follows closely behind, his footsteps heavy with regret. “Y/N,” he begins, his voice low and earnest, “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought—”
You cut him off, spinning to face him, your expression fierce with hurt. “It’s too late, brother,” you declare, the words like shards of glass spilling from your lips. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You’ve ruined everything.”
His eyes widen, a mixture of shock and remorse flooding his features. “I never meant to hurt you—”
“It doesn’t matter what you meant!” you snap, frustration and pain intertwining in a chaotic dance. “You acted without thinking. You’ve taken something precious from me.”
Minghao opens his mouth to argue, to defend himself, but the words die on his lips. The truth hangs in the air, heavy and palpable, as the reality of your fractured trust settles between you.
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For the rest of the season, you do your best to blend into the walls at every ball, and you succeed. You become a shadow flitting between vibrant gowns and boisterous laughter. Each event becomes a blur of swirling colors and muffled sounds. You move quietly, navigating the sea of opulence with a heavy heart, wearing a mask of indifference that hides the turmoil brewing just beneath the surface.
You linger in corners, your fingers tracing the intricate patterns of wallpaper as if seeking solace in their delicate designs. The bright chandeliers above cast their warm glow on the happy couples swirling in perfect harmony, while you remain firmly anchored in your solitude, an invisible wall erected around your heart. You watch as others twirl and laugh, and your heart aches for Seokmin’s easy companionship, the lively conversations and playful banter that now feel like a distant memory.
With each passing ball, the weight of your isolation grows heavier. Minghao’s well-intentioned apologies echo in your mind, but their impact fades against the reality of your existence. You’ve become an expert at deflecting curious gazes, practicing the art of blending in so well that the laughter and music seem to wash over you like water off a duck’s back.
But it is Seokmin’s absence that echoes loudest in your heart. He might have always been your brother’s best friend, but you had hoped he would be something more—something real. As the music swells, the realization settles heavily on your shoulders: you are utterly, irrevocably alone.
Seokmin doesn’t ask you to dance again for the rest of the season. 
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Tagging: @kibs-and-bits@moondustmemories@shinwonderful@ivehypnosis@gwend0lyne @thestoryofana13 @mellowamour @blissedjoon @begentlewithme-please @xabsolutelynothingx @reiofsuns2001 @mngyulvrs @mooniewrld @archivistworld @lexyraeworld @ateez-atiny380 @walkinganxiety01 @lovecleastrange
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hennesseyok · 5 years ago
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ummm hi !! so i’m nori n i’ve been outta the rp game for a hot minute but miss rona has me without shit to do so im back !! plz excuse this literal garbage intro but we out here !! i am so down to plot the fck outta her ( she needs bandmates for her band ... n also a name ... ahem ... ) n honestly am v open to anything, so plzZz dont hesistate to message me on here (im not hip with the kids so i dont have discord ??? yet ??? ) n e wayz heres my cutie sadboy babie hennessey eeek !! i love this group already ah !!
kristen stewart. cis woman. she/her. ❝ can you hear painfully obvious by harmless coming from apartment # 408 ? that must mean hennessey rhodes is home. the twenty-six year old is currently a member of a local band and they live with 2 roommates. they’ve been living in the village for four years and residents have gathered the scorpio’s enigmatic yet detached demeanor. ❞ nori. 21. she/her. gmt -6.
s t a t i s t i c s full name: hennessey leighanne rhodes nicknames: rhodes, h, hez, daddy [ anything thats not “henny” lol she hates that name eek ] dob: oct 25 1993 sign: ☼ scorpio, ☾ scorpio, ↑ capricorn sexuality: queer [ wlw, nblw ] birthplace: new albany, mississippi known languages: english, some bayou french siblings: none a e s t h e t i c s + pinterest drunken walks home from the bar, matching stick n poke tattoos, worn in band tees, red-tinted bedroom lights, unmade beds, empty swimming pools at 3 am, sunrises on apartment rooftops, shelves of filled leatherbound notebooks, lightwash denim, half wiped off sharpies on skin, bruised knuckles on soft hands, blood pacts with best friends, freshly bleached hair, gentle forehead kisses, the smell of vanilla and tobacco b i o ☆ the child of two born again evangelical christians in the small town of new albany, ms, hennessey was brought into a world of devout religion and an “all american” mentality ☆ located in northern mississippi near the tallehatchie river, new albany had a population of just under 7,000 when hennessey was born. being in the bible belt of america, mississippi had a ruthless reputation for homophobia, transphobia, and racism. all things that hennessey was brought up surrounded by. ☆ her parents were through and through rednecks that tried to get their lives on track after her mother was knocked up at 19 [ thus her name… ahem ] ☆ the early years of her life were spent fully devoted the church, she was baptized at birth and was fully indoctrinated into her religion until her freshman year of highschool ☆ hennessey starting experiencing same gender attraction as early as she can remember, but never acted on anything until junior year. after a local high school party she found herself in the bedroom of the town preachers daughter. ☆ a whirlwind romance began, the two were inseparable and were thought to be the best of friends by everyone in town. but, when playing with fire, someone is bound to get burned. or the whole town can go up in flames, and that’s exactly what happened. ☆ the two were walked in on one night and it was enough to strike the match. all of new albany was disgusted and enraged; they wanted the rhodes family out of their town, even going so far as to claim that the devil had come in the form of the family to destroy the good people of mississippi. ☆ excommunicated by her family, she finished highschool at 18 and took of running as fast as she could. she bought the cheapest bus ticket she could afford, and landed on the couch of a local blues musician in nashville, tn. he took her in and taught her everything he knew about music and, by proxy, black culture. ☆ after leaving new albany, her worldview shifted foundationally. she’s been in and out of central booking on riot and protest charges, so she’s pretty much stuck doing this music thing due to her criminal record ☆ from the ages of 19 to 22 she spent between nashville, atlanta, brooklyn and detroit, playing music, going on benders, and getting between the sheets of as many girls as she could  [ she basically went on a rampage lol ] in the process she picked up a pretty gnarly coke habit that she’s still trying to shake. so she says, at least. ☆ she landed in new york where she finally started a semi-successful band and decided she wanted to start building a life n thats when she ended up here !! q u i c k  f a c t s ok imma try to wrap this up cus i know its getting long lol but n e wayz heres like a tl;dr summary ☆ grew up in a racist, homophobic, backwards town; was outed for being gay and hasn’t spoken to her parents since she was 18 ☆ she’s a v talented musician and her rising in capricorn makes her want to be successful as fuck, even if she has to do some shady shit to get there ☆ she started a band and their mild success landed her in brooklyn. she needs bandmates !! i purposely didn’t name the band so connections could help make it a #Band.... ehehe ☆  she’s a ride or die friend and 10000% one of the #boiz, you can usually find her doing some dumb shit with her best friends. once u have her loyalty, she’ll be by your side no matter what happens ☆ v flirty. like, will flirt until u invite her back to ur place only to bail and go hang with her bandmates lol. ☆ she finds it hard to open up [ i know… how fuckin CLICHE ] but all she wants is someone to actually hold her n tell her that its okay not to be okay ??? give me that soft gay shit ??? ☆ shes a lil bit of a player but only becus she’s bored. its never her intention to hurt someone but girls often get attached and her scorpio ass isn’t the best at letting em down easy ☆ once she left, hennessey basically tried to shed all trace of her hometown from her, but she has a slight mississippi twang to her accent that only comes out when she’s really mad or rly close with someone [ she hates it sm and hates when ppl comment on it lol ] ☆ she’s forever writing songs, like 9 times out of ten if u cant find her, shes prob holed up in her bedroom, cigarette in hand, writing some sappy shit about a girl she hooked up w after her latest show [ kiiiinda wanna do a plot w someone she’s super into but the person couldnt give less of a fck about her ?? like yes bithc we love a role reversal ]
um ya thats it i will def be developing her way more i know this is so shit but im tryin my best here plz dont read me if shit don’t add up. love yall hehe. also plz plot w her she needs besties and hookups and love interests !!
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hcnnessey-blog · 6 years ago
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ummm hi !! so i'm nori n i've been outta the rp game for a hot minute so plz excuse this literal garbage intro but we out here !! sorry for this late ass post, i just got back from a month in australia so this jetlag is fuckin me HARD lol (im sry yall) but um ya i took a few wc’s, but i am so down to plot the fck outta her n honestly am v open to anything, so plzZz dont hesistate to message me on here (im not hip with the kids so i dont have discord ??? yet ??? )  n e wayz heres my cutie sadboy babie hennessey eeek !! i love this group already ah !! 
[ kristen stewart, cisfemale, she/her, 25 ] SMALL POPPIES by COURTNEY BARNETT? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of HENNESSEY RHODES. maybe because they’re ENIGMATIC but also DETACHED. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since JUNE of 2014 in APARTMENT 206 and have 3 ROOMMATES. ( MOON RIVER , FOOL FOR LOVE , TOURING ) [ elle, she/her, 20, est ]
s t a t i s t i c s full name: hennessey leighanne rhodes nicknames: rhodes, h, hez, daddy [ anything thats not “henny” lol she hates that name eek ] dob: oct 25 1993 sign: ☼ scorpio, ☾ scorpio, ↑ capricorn sexuality: queer [ wlw, nblw ] birthplace: new albany, mississippi known languages: english, some bayou french siblings: none a e s t h e t i c s + pinterest drunken walks home from the bar, matching stick n poke tattoos, worn in band tees, red-tinted bedroom lights, unmade beds, empty swimming pools at 3 am, sunrises on apartment rooftops, shelves of filled leatherbound notebooks, lightwash denim, half wiped off sharpies on skin, bruised knuckles on soft hands, blood pacts with best friends, freshly bleached hair, gentle forehead kisses, the smell of vanilla and tobacco b i o ☆ the child of two born again evangelical christians in the small town of new albany, ms, hennessey was brought into a world of devout religion and an “all american” mentality ☆ located in northern mississippi near the tallehatchie river, new albany had a population of just under 7,000 when hennessey was born. being in the bible belt of america, mississippi had a ruthless reputation for homophobia, transphobia, and racism. all things that hennessey was brought up surrounded by. ☆ her parents were through and through rednecks that tried to get their lives on track after her mother was knocked up at 19 [ thus her name... ahem ] ☆ the early years of her life were spent fully devoted the church, she was baptized at birth and was fully indoctrinated into her religion until her freshman year of highschool ☆ hennessey starting experiencing same gender attraction as early as she can remember, but never acted on anything until junior year. after a local high school party she found herself in the bedroom of the town preachers daughter. ☆ a whirlwind romance began, the two were inseparable and were thought to be the best of friends by everyone in town. but, when playing with fire, someone is bound to get burned. or the whole town can go up in flames, and that’s exactly what happened. ☆ the two were walked in on one night and thus began the beginning of the end. all of new albany was disgusted and enraged; they wanted the rhodes family out of their town, even going so far as to claim that the devil had come in the form of the family to destroy the good people of mississippi. ☆ her family basically excommunicated her and forced her out. at 18 she finished highschool and took of running as fast as she could. she bought the cheapest bus ticket she could afford, and landed on the couch of a local blues musician in nashville, tn. he took her in and taught her everything he knew about music and, by proxy, black culture. ☆ she completely reshaped her world view and started standing up as an ally for marginalized communities and a voice for her own. she’s been in and out of central booking on riot and protest charges, so she’s pretty much stuck doing this music thing due to her criminal record ☆ from the ages of 19 to 22 she spent between nashville, atlanta, brooklyn and detroit, playing music, going on benders, and getting between the sheets of as many girls as she could  [ she basically went on a rampage lol ] in the process she picked up a pretty gnarly coke habit that she’s still trying to shake. so she says, at least. ☆ she landed in baltimore when she finally started a semi-successful band and decided she wanted to start building a life n thats when she ended up here !!  q u i c k  f a c t s ok imma try to wrap this up cus i know its getting long lol but n e wayz heres like a tl;dr summary ☆ grew up in a racist, homophobic, backwards town; was outed for being gay and hasn’t spoken to her parents since she was 18 ☆ she’s a v talented musician and her rising in capricorn makes her want to be successful as fuck, even if she has to do some shady shit to get there ☆  she’s a ride or die friend and 10000% one of the #boiz, you can usually find her doing some dumb shit with her best friends. once u have her loyalty, she’ll be by your side no matter what happens ☆ v flirty. like, will flirt until u invite her back to ur place only to bail and go hang with her bandmates lol. ☆ she finds it hard to open up [ i know... how fuckin CLICHE ] but all she wants is someone to actually hold her n tell her that its okay not to be okay ??? give me that soft gay shit ??? ☆ shes a lil bit of a player but only becus she’s bored. its never her intention to hurt someone but girls often get attached and her scorpio ass isn’t the best at letting em down easy ☆ once she left, hennessey basically tried to shed all trace of her hometown from her, but she has a slight mississippi twang to her accent that only comes out when she’s really mad or rly close with someone [ she hates it sm and hates when ppl comment on it lol ] ☆ she’s forever writing songs, like 9 times out of ten if u cant find her, shes prob holed up in her bedroom, cigarette in hand, writing some sappy shit about a girl she hooked up w after her latest show [ kiiiinda wanna do a plot w someone she’s super into but the person couldnt give less of a fck about her ?? like yes bithc we love a role reversal ] um ya thats it i will def be developing her way more i know this is so shit but im tryin my best here plz dont read me if shit don’t add up. love yall hehe. also plz plot w her she needs besties and hookups and love interests !!
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spacephant0m · 6 years ago
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cw for personal talk about religion/spirituality and trying to find myself. Srry for typos
I’m in my room on the verge of tears and switching between crying and having a blank stare, watching brendon’s livestream on my ipad while i type this. I’m trying to study witchcraft to some extent as I’ve never really read much of anything about it before. Specifically I was reading about christian witches. Now the thing is like, i grew up as a christian. And nowadays i still believe in God definitely, but i hate christian practices. I remember reading and studying world religions in college last year and absolutely loving it and being so sad because i never experienced such practices in my own faith that actually seemed..... like, fun, and super connective. Me bawling my eyes out at church camp and being “lost” was not exactly what i originally thought it was. I was just mentally ill and didnt know it. Deep down i always knew i had a connection with God that wasnt faltering over silly shit a kid does wrong. Kid sins. Whatever the fuck. As much as i fucken prayed and asked for forgiveness, i was fine. Christianity is always a race to be closer to God and its like.... how close can i get when im doing the same fucking exact practices over and over.... they never really taught us about meditation and becoming one with your surroundings and idk, letting your spirit free. They kind of talked about it sometimes.
But i just hate the entire setup of church. I miss the family aspect so much. Thats all i miss. I miss bible study but really i just miss the points where we talked about life. Thats usually what we did, we would have an entire lesson setup and it would become totally derailed by our conversations. And it was real and i had a sense of community that i cant get anywhere else. I havent been able to find it anywhere else. But i also miss my personal sense of spirituality. I love that word and i love that it has so many encapsulating meanings. I dont wanna be like a white man self acclaimed guru who’s like read this book it’ll help you change your life....... i feel like those guys really appropriate culture and commercialize it. Its kinda gross. I try not to associate myself with that idea but every time i think about meditating more and shit im like “ew im gonna be a gross white guy whos all at peace w himself and lives in the mountains and shit” AND IT MAKES ME MAD. I’m having a beer right now instead of a cup of tea. Probably a mistake. Tea helps me feel better but im filling my body w shit at the moment bc thats what happens when i get this sad.
Anyways i really hate the idea of practicing a religion. I made a post before asking for sort of an advice on this, like was it okay for me to like witchy things and not actually be one. I was told yes its totally okay. And im not disrespectful of anyone and i dont make fun of any religion. I just persoaally cannot see myself involved with having an actual religion. I dont even consider myself christian so how could i ever proclaim myself as a christian witch, idk.
I dont want to label myself at all. Maybe i dont need any of this. Maybe i just need to play dnd and live vicariously thru my character. Use that shit as therapy. I hear it helps a lot with mental health and social skills. That of which i am verily lacking. I’m just hurting and im pissed off. I dont know why exactly. I just want to do meditation and i wanna buy my crystals and start doing yoga again. This year i have been stretching more. Actually i started on the first of feb. i stretch every day and do vocal exercises to help my voice get more control and deepen it a bit (transmasc).
I am also just a bit overwhelmed at everything. I dont know where to start. All i know is i want to burn incense like i used to growing up bc it always made me happy. And that i only believe in like..... cleansing through these elements and a prayer to God. But i’ve always had faith issues because im so insecure, i never think God will actually help me because maybe i dont deserve it or maybe he just doesnt want to.
I’m also scared im gonna do something wrong or fuck something up. That something bad will happen or something because im dumb. I dont know if i could mix my own herbs that feel right to me, or if i should use a recipe. I feel stupid that i dont have as much faith in prayer as i wish i did, but i have faith that little rocks will help to cleanse negative energy and things like that.
I dont know why im crying, i guess because im so insecure? Or maybe life is just rly hard and i’m overthinking everything. I just feel kinda bad. Yet when my friends tell me theyre praying for me, i do have faith in that and it means the world to me.
I know none of this is a big deal to anyone, and maybe none of it should matter. But im like. Idk. Im very interested in plants and medicines of the earth and shit like i always have been ever since i was young i thought of myself as like. Awakened and shit LOL whatever that means @ 10 year old me. I dont want to feel like anything controls me or owns me, i want to feel like i am in control of my own life and that i could harness the energy around me to not only like bring me peace of mind but to help me through my journey of life.
But i guess my biggest issue is i have no fuckin clue where to start. I hate reading and all this research im trying to do to help myself figure out what i enjoy is just. Making me so fucken overwhelmed. I only read like. 1 blog post and 2 articles and im already losing it. I always grew up w the mindset that God will take care of everything but like. He already has. In my mind. Because he’s already given us all the tools we need. But folks just like. Wanna be lazy and wait for things to happen. Sometimes all u can do is wait but when it comes to like, being THE ONES IN CONTROL, “prayers for america” is dumb as fck.
Idk i dont know anything and its okay to not know right now but i want something more in my life but i want it to be like.... totally personal and i dont want it to be absolutely everything my life revolves around. I want it to just be something i do and that i love. I dont need a label for it. But idk. I just dont know what to do.
If anyone has any sort of advice or is dealing with anything like this i’d love to hear about it. My ask and msgs are open as well. I feel pretty alone right now. Im just patiently waiting for my paycheck tomorrow so i can buy these crystals i rly want. But who knows what it will take to satisfy my hungry soul.
Another problem i rly have honestly is just like. Spending a lot of money on a lot of hobbies. I feel shitty for having so many things i enjoy doing. I try to narrow it down. I havent started embroidery bc i dont wanna spend more money and i feel like i’ll never have enough time to practice. Im just. Mediocre at a lot of things instead of rly super good at one thing. I mean i think im pretty great at drawing but thats about it. But ive been doing that for 10 years so ofc im good at it NOW. But ffs. I wanna do so many things and its overwhelming. I work a minimum wage job and its. I dont have enough money for anything lol so most of my stuff is low-budge† which is fine i guess but. Idk. Im tired. Im sad.
I dont know how to be more spiritual i dont know where to start. And my mind is telling me to slap a label on it or its not anything of value. Which is bullshit. But y’know. Anxiety n shit.
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catchthesejorts · 7 years ago
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willlow grove gc  chap 1
hi this is the first thign ive ever done but basically its a group chat of the foxes, but imagine them kids as aussie teens in like perth or smth. idk why but im australian so here we GO
Willow Grove Softball Team
30/08/17
16:05
CharlieB created a group chat with SohlM, Poppy and Parker
CharlieB added BenMax
CharlieB added Dallass
CharlieB added Pheebs
CharlieB added Ari
CharlieB: who have i forgotten
SohlM: blake and tylaaaaaaa
CharlieB added TyTy
Charlie B added Blake
Dallass: hi
Blake left the chat
BenMax: fuckin blake
BenMax: get back here bitchboy
CharlieB added Blake
BenMax: gday
Blake: shut the ufck up
SohlM: calm ya faaarrmmmm
SohlM: charlie what this for??
CharlieB: i thought id make the team a groupchat!! it can be where we can share motivation and ask questions if you like :)
Blake: as IF
Blake named the group die in hell
TyTy: dude same
CharlieB: well im going to mute this chat now until we have any big events, text me individually if you need anything
SohlM: thank qqqqqqq
BenMax: THANKS CHARLEI
Dallass: whatd i miss
BenMax: nothing much mate
BenMax: except this ASS
SohlM: honestly shut the fuck up ben
BenMax: make me ;)
Blake: yuo two are disgusting
Dallass: whats up every1
TyTy: am legit just sitting at home
TyTy: a cold milo in hand
TyTy: staring outside
Dallass: edgyyyyy
TyTy: daallas i love u but dont fuckin interrupt me
TyTy: anyway
TyTy: look down at my phone and what do i see
BenMax: ya mums nudes
Dallass: ew
TyTy: no and SHUT the FUC up
Blake: what do you see teyelr
TyTy: i see,,, with my bare eyes...,
TyTy: a tiny spider
Dallass: ew???
Parker: oMg
Dallass: parker!!!!
Parker: DALLAS HI
Poppy: yooo parker
Parker: !!!!
TyTy: SHUT
TyTy: UR
TyTy: FACE
TyTy: ANYWAY
TyTy: this tiny baby siutting on my screen so obvs i freak
TyTy: and i try to flick it off
TyTy: but this bitch jumps
SohlM: this bitch empty
BenMax: YEET
BenMax: sorry ty continu??
TyTy: i stg im blcoking u all
TyTy: a n y w ay
TyTy: so the fuckr jumps onto my hoodie and now idk where its gone
Dallass: aw shiiiiiit mate
BenMax: LMAO
TyTy: get fcked ben x
BenMax: im tryin mate x
Dallass: lol
Parker: i want more details on the spider????? what sort??
TyTy: honestly didnt really spend too much time looking tbh
Parker: hfhg
Parker: thats boring tyler :(
Blake: hope its not poisonous
BenMax: hope it is
BenMax: kidding kidding ily bae
TyTy: die
SohlM: i wanna know where phoebus is
SohlM: missing this great chat
BenMax: mans out doing nerdy stuff w ari
BenMax: geez louise mal keep up
SohlM: how u kno
BenMax: i chekc my fuckin snaps boo
SohlM: truuuuuu
SohlM: why are they out its cold ,
SohlM: i want it to be hot
BenMax: u look so hot today rhonda
Dallass: liek a sunriseee
SohlM: iaudfshgdojpkadsfv
BenMax: anyone else had a crush on ketut when they were younger or was that just me
SohlM: nah man ketut was a LAD
BenMax: rhonda was p cute too
BenMax: i legit love rangas
TyTy: subtle much
SohlM: 👀
BenMax: blocked
Willow Grove Softball Team
1/07/17
15:45
Pheebs: aloha mi amigos
Dallass: hey ppheobus
SohlM: did?? u?? just?? mix?? two?? languageS??
Pheebs: what
Pheebs: shiT
SohlM: me, a multilingual, confused
Pheebs: stfu babes like half of us are bilignaul
Ari: you cant spell for shit mate
Pheebs: fck u ur small i can sit on u and u wil die
Ari: size doenst matter
Poppy: SHORT PEOPLE SUPPORT GROUP
Poppy: POPULATION: ME AND ARI
Pheebs: **ari and I
Poppy: shut ya face ur not my english teacher
BenMax: YOurE NoTm y DaD
BenMax: hey hey hey lads im at coles
SohlM: oooooooo
TyTy: once again the only thing ben contributes to this chat is vines
SohlM: gummi worms,
BenMax: tyeler stop bullying me : (  
BenMax: sure thing boo xxx
Pheebs: get me a hwole roast chicken babe
BenMax: no
Pheebs: consider urslef blocked then :)
BenMax: consider ur mum blocked
Poppy: ben can u get me a slushei from 711
BenMax:hmmmmmm
BenMax: whats in it for me
Poppy: my love and affection obvs
BenMax: sold ding ding ding
BenMax: anyone else here want sht
Blake: no coles can fuc off i only shop at real stores like iga
BenMax: whom
Dallass: IGA is so expensive thoguh
Blake: did i ask for your opinion margo
SohlM: oi
BenMax: take ur petty arguments elsewhere children
BenMax: i have a bag full of food and im gheading to 711 for my fasvorite gal
Poppy: :') am loved
SohlM: i would die for benjamin maxwell
Dallass: ben, the love of my life,
Poppy: the only man who matters
SohlM: the real slim shady
BenMax: WHFH
Pheebs: im sorry the old ben cant come to the phone right now
Pheebs: why?
Pheebs: oh!! cause hes dead
BenMax: ..
BenMax: gonna ignore that real quick
BenMax: im sittin at espalande park with all this food yall better get over here
Pheebs: u dont own me
BenMax: consider this: i have chips
Pheebs: omw
Poppy: im runnign as fast as my tiny legs can carry me
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call-of-quileutes-blog · 8 years ago
Note
The first 30 asks lmao
why are you like this
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
basically im just a depressed piece of shit with no control over my life and it’s confusing af lolol2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
sometimes holly will send me good morning texts but i kno its only bc she’s having a shitty one and on some occasions alex will when he’s not super busy
and sometimes some asshole will send one to the groupchat and then they’re all goin off about how much they “love each other” and how they “hope everyone has a good day” 3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
alex was a huge pot head when we first met and i was like “eh whatever” at the time but like now i wouldn’t care if it was just a recreational thing but if it was an every day, nonstop thing that effected his life in a negative way i’d be like “bruh you need to stop”
(im just saying this bc i’ve seen this happen to ppl before who’ve become too reliant on using marijuana as a coping mechanism and it isn’t pretty) 4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
no. you have to be at least a lvl 12 friend or higher to unlock my tragic backstory 
also people are just shitty lolol5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
i was stuck in mystic messenger hell and ignoring my friends6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
no one. my friends are actually chasing me as i run down the street trying to fight someone who made fun of my jacket
alternatively, @masochisticlion and i will be tearing up the streets near you look forward to it; summer 20207: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
BYE BITCH. SAYONARA.8: Are you close with your dad?
we have a decent relationship but we’re not like bffs9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
yea i give alex a kiss every night when i tuck him into bed and then i fart on him10: What are you listening to?
pitbull, DALE11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
diet coke, im fckin garbage yall12: Do you like hickeys?
not really i like to keep it professional lolol
(i actually caught my coworker w a hickey yesterday lololol)13: What time do you go to bed?
between 10pm and 2am14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
yes (spoiler alert its my boss bc she’s always fckin me over on the schedule)15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
i don’t think so. if i can’t use both hands then im not gonna bother lol16: Do you always answer your texts?
no im actually the queen of ghosting and my friend called me out on it like damn b17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
only when he makes me cook18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
i talk to @masochisticlion literally everyday and my other besties usually get to hear from me at least twice a week19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
yes!! @sagittarifag & @itslaurenithink
(also saeyoung choi if anyone was wondering and abby too when we finally get to meet)20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
’fck im tired’21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
just my cats~22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
yes23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
i’ve been a depressed piece of shit for years i feel nothing24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
no. if i left you in the past we’re done i don’t have time to rekindle lol25: In the past week, have you cried?
omg yes i’ve cried so much in the last week it’s ridiculous im goin crazy man26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
like a rust color with a big cat on it (the amount of animal tees i own is ridiculous jsyk)27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
they called me “fuckin shoemaker” for a minute (literally like two months and it was the best two months of my life) but then they just stopped and now everyone calls me lace face :(28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
i think holly is bc i called her out on her stupid relationship lolol29: Do you have a best friend?
i have like six but thats bc they’re my only friends and they’re all my best friends i don’t believe in that acquaintances bullshit30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
if it was as a joke, no. but if it was serious, yes. but lbr im the best thing that’s ever happened to alex (or anyone i kno, really) so he’d never do me dirty lolol
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kingdans · 8 years ago
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8 QUESTION TAG !
I was tagged a long long time ago by @extraongdinary and @ongniel-wan but u see.. i’m lazy af but i love these girls so much so i’m doing it today lmao 
♡ ♡ ♡  Leah’s questions  ♡ ♡ ♡ 
1. if you could only have one hairstyle for the rest of your life, what would it be?
oh god… i think i would keep my currently one? like.. just use it kinda short and big for the rest of my life and i’m okay with it lol 
2. If you had the option to either get a personal video message from your bias but it deletes in 1 day and you cannot reproduce it or to get a signed poster but you could keep it forever, which one?
DANIEL YOU BETTER SEND ME THAT VIDEO ASAP !!!!!!!! (u can always buy signed stuff so i’ll def stick with the video and daniel’s voic saying ‘’hello val’’ KJBAKSHKJGSKAJGKJASKAJGDJA FCK)
3. If you could pick the fragrance that your bias wears, what scent would you pick for who?
I would pick woody essences for all my bias tbh, because its my favorite i would like to smell it on them
/creepy af/
4. what is your favorite place in the world and why?
My room. Because you see, my life is very very rushed i dont have much time to enjoy myself on weekdays, i spend the whole day at uni and when i get home i just wanna cry from exhaustion but i have to study :”) SO, i REALLY treasure the calmness of my room, cuz everytime i enter it i feel like i can just cry on my bed and sleep the shit outta me. I enjoy to just chill here :)
5. If you found a book with your life story written, would you read the end or be too scared to?
This is very tricky, i would probably be too scared but i think i would read it nways, i mean, we all gonna die, right? so i would like to know if i would die regreting something so i could try to fix it
6. what are your goals to accomplish by the end of 2017?
keep my grades steady, let my hair grow and lose weight so i can finally fit in my jeans without cry every morning :”)
7. How was your day?
LEAH YOU’RE SRSLY SO ADORABLE  JFC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My day is so far so good? nothing really happened but i woke with ppl lying to me saying im pretty so im happy since then dlsdskahdlsada
8. Who would your idol best friend(s) be?
Hmmm, probably ong, jaehwan and jackson?!?!?! I really reaaaaaaaaally enjoy their personality so i would stick together with them if i could. They’re funny but they also get get serious when they need to
(minus you jaehwan)
so i feel like i could talk about anything with them and i really appreciate it :””)
♡ ♡ ♡  Nuria’s questions  ♡ ♡ ♡
1. What kind of nightmares do you usually have?
I dont usually have nightmares?!?!?! but when i do it’s abt people i care leaving me or dying HSUAHSASA
IM SO DEPRESSIVE HELP
2. Being a month w/o your mobile or w/o your laptop/computer?
My computer, i can’t live without a smartphone, last time mine broke i spent 5moths almost going crazy and using a big ass tablet instead (the one of my HIGH QUALITY pic from the other tag)
3. What would you say to a friend whom you lost touch with?
“Hello there motherfucker how’s life without me? Hope it’s sucks:)”
4. You can only say one sentence to your bias, what would it be?
DANIEL STOP BEING SO FUCKING RUDE/CUTE JFC!!! 
5. To have a nice day, what do you need?
Just my bed and nothing to do, these are my favorites.
6. Imagine everything is free in this world, what would you like to collect?
One piece mangas/HQ’s. Besides being a lonely sad fangirl i’m also a huge bigass loser one piece’s fan lmao i have it’s mangas and lot of figure actions :”)
7. What is the most innocent and purest thing that you saw today?
My reflection in the mirror dkhksdlhhkdskhlhkdl
8. Sky blue or Sea blue? 
BOTH, blue is my favorite color ♡
SOOOOOOOOO, THAT’S IT. As u can see i’m boring af and i should tag someone to do that but i’m not creative to make questions SO IF ANY OF U GUYS WANNA DO THAT PLS USE THESE QUESTIONS ABOVE and tag me so i can see, of course. 
Thanks leah and nuria for tag me, I love you guys  ❤
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thegeminisage · 8 years ago
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more of this (sorry)
i like the animation where the sheikah cries a tear thats very clever
and the little piano build up that sounds like the “a chest is opening” theme except much subtler
oh my god i got a SLEDGEHAMMER
the next one has ice columns
but i accidentally blew myself up while standing on one
i just realized each of the monks was making a triangle with their hands
but their hands are all in different places holy fuck they were making the triforce!!!!
(okay actual spoilers now You Were Warned)
THE OLD MAN JUST FUCKING TELEPORTED?? o my god
what if he’s like the skeleton guy in twilight princess and he’s just another link
what if he’s rauru
what if he goes around as an owl in his spare time like a furry
(not that there’s anything wrong with that!! some of my favorite people are attracted to cartoon lions)
omg im so excited im so excited
is the place where the lines meet the temple of time.....
LOL OF COURSE IT IS
im going to die goodbye goodbye rip poor liz
ohhh no i had to pass his campire on the way there and hes gone ))))):
ok time out i cant believe ive been swimming trying to catch the fish ALL THIS TIME and did not, not once, think to simply SHOOT THEM
me: a dumb
HOLY FUCK
(cut bc actual shit is abt to go down)
OH MY GOD THE STATUE IS LIT UP!!!!! WHATS GOING ON
please be ganondorf please be ganondorf
i know all my theories are more interesting than whatever it will actually be
oh my god i prayed and there’s rainbowy light
ooh an Upgrade...stamina or hearts how do i choose fck fck
i gotta go w/ stamina i run out of that way more often and i have a fuckton of food to recover hearts
the old man is on the roof??? why is he glowing???? old man who are you
“get up here” hoe how?? oh there’s a ladder
OKAY
OKAY
I KNEW HE WAS THE KING BUT HOLY FUCK
i actually fucking forgot there was voice acting in this so my jaw dropped all over again when he started talking to me
it’s a good thing he pronounced his name bc i sure could not have lmao
and the music oh god thru the whole cutscene it was perfect i welled up
i knew that voice was zelda!! nintendo lied to me
she’s so beautiful and i love her so much
also? the giant things piloted by “champions”? are you fucking kidding me there are jaegers in the legend of zelda I AM SO HAPPY I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY
i can’t believe im going to kakariko to meet impa i love her so much i missed her so much
i can’t believe he said kakariko out loud i can’t get over voice acting
and like the voice acting isnt even that spectacular like it’s solid but it’s not Great but the fact that they SPEAK
i remember being 8 years old and not having one damn clue pronouncing “ocarina” like “orky-AH-na” barely able to read that ratty old guidebook well enough to help my 6 year old brother figure out how to get through the dungeons
now almost 20 years later they are finally speaking to me
i wish i could go back in time and tell little eight year old liz just how good it gets. she’d lose her fucking mind
what?? no no no old man don’t leave ;____;
but he did. he told me all he could and he’s just. gone. well.
at least i did get a sick bow haha
im so sad. im so sad. im SO sad
poor hyrule poor zelda poor king whatever the fuck his name was. oh my god. why couldn’t he have stayed. it wasn’t a bad life...maybe a little tiring, but
i’ll think of you whenever i bake apples, pal. thank you for the coat.
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idksheepthoughts · 7 years ago
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Conversations Me: you actually soft blocked me....                                   any reason why?
Her: lol the fact that you noticed this late   but it happened on accident actually and i went and unblocked               but at that point i was like lmao like she'll notice so i never mentioned it              
Me: If you hate me just say so. No need to lie.... I don't check shit like that every day but it's not that many days since I know it was maybe a week or less ... Whatever. I'm so splitting atm. So I'll shut up before I say something else             
Her: hate? when the fck did i mention that?         yes, better shut up before you stick your foot in your mouth as usual                 since i've done nothing hostile to you as if me feeling like i matter to no one and have the smallest amt of friends possible is somehow how an Attack on You.
Me: you blocked me... on "accident" how does that even happen.... i've told you tons of times that the amount of friends depends solely on yourself. and your willingness to talk to people and work past the anxiety and fear that talking to people causes. . . otherwise I wouldn't even have friends. because if i isolated and neveer talked to anyone ever first that nobody would talk to me in the first place. . . ugh whatever. i've said too much im just going to sober up and talk later i guess.... I can't always be here I try to be but like we said previously, i didn't know what to do between give you loads of attention and give you nothing at all...
Her: tumblr mobile? lol. if you can't believe me when i say that then i don't really want to talk to you since everytime i feel bad or have like, negative feelings regarding my own situations you always take it so personally (1) and then i have to dread these fcking conversations so when we've been talking normally on twitter                 it all goes to fcking shit because you can't accept that i get to feel bad and feel upset about stuff regardless of whether or not im taking actions to help myself in my own way at my own pace...doesn't mean you get to think that i hate you so i blocked you      because what the fuck how does it work when we've been chatting like everyday on twitter?                   and it was (what i thought) fine? good? (2) if it really was the case i wouldve blocked you here or just flat out deleted since then i'd only have one fucking follower :) so just. let me have emotions. and don't assume things. this is so funny because i remember you getting mad at me months ago for the same exact thing   and here we are, situations reversed  
Me: BECAUSE i have a huge fear of abandonment.... it was fine but this stuff even if its an accident just idk .... i guess you never saw how much abandonment even if its an accident sends me into depressive spirals??? have i ever left you no. i've been distant yes but i've never full on unfollowed or left... idk you block me a lot and delete and it hurts every time.                                    
Her: "even if" can you believe me????? first off???? (3) and no you havent god if it was such a problem just follow me and then ask me about it because why would i lie lol (4) i don't like friendships built on lies i'll never talk to someone like that genuinely   i have insecurities too. i have enough
Me: ok it was an accident.
Her: i didn't even think it was a problem first off considering all those people you put on your thanksgiving post. and then you never noticed/messaged me about so i was like k, so that's that! and just talked w/ you normally here  (5)           so let's just accept the fact that we've got our problems and there's better ways to handle this than assuming motives
Me: so you did change url because of that post??? like my paranoid ass thought???? i was right on that???? cause i noticed that and was like... maybe its not related but was it????? cause I just want to know... im not mad at that at all just... i want to not assume things atm.    and i notice stuff slowly because I try not to fall into obsessive traits. its not healthy to check who im following or who is greyed out or blocked every single day. . . I try to just let things be but when I do notice stuff i can't help but explode. I tried to be calm by just asking why.... but i clearly failed at that. its whatever. I followed back. if it happens again just like.. tell me please??? this stuff makes me so close to slitting my wrist                                    
Her: no, i changed my url because i was sitting on that url for a while and i wanted to use it              
Me: okay, it was just a paranoid thought.                             
Her: well, i really, really, really, don't like when you start assuming things even after i tell you or not believing me. we've been friends for how long? does it mean nothing? you'd think i'd lie at this point? x____x       (6) .those thoughts make me want to die      
Me: i'm sorry for thinking irrationally, but with how many people just up and leave, all the time even with being friends for long periods its hard not to jump to conclusions. I am in the wrong for falling into my own paranoid thoughts. You explained things and I don't believe that you are lying so its fine.                        
Her: oh, now you believe me                     after i have to hold your hand when i'm upset (7) whatever i'm probably not going to follow back because i hate that i have no friends and my mutuals ignore all my posts when i try to put myself out there     it's gotten to a point where i can't post stuff on tumblr anymore because i know no one gives a shit             like even as happy as i am about my commission i know if i post that on my tumblr i'll make the artist seem bad when no one likes my post  idc. i'm bitter and alone and probably always will be because i don't have any friends aside from you o/                           like, be grateful you even have that many people to be grateful for   (8)      i'd kill for it i feel like dying when i think about this and i think about it a lot     but ofc i don't moan about it anywhere except on this stupid fucking twitter account                   where you seem ot think i live a dandy life   (9)                                    it fcking sucks bc im trying my best!                                           anyways im done lol           oh and then you post shit like *Edit* (Screenshot of some tags where I said I always listen to people but nobody likes listening to me so I talk to my cats a lot which is true because I’m a burden and i hate bothering people with my problems so much)                    that when you damn well no i have no one else to listen to except you online      and we've been civil lately                         but ok! i guess i don't care!  because im living it up!       #sarcasm    (10)
Me: you havent followed me in probably over 10 or so months, whenever i remade, cause i don't think you followed me when i delteed either,  i didn't expect a follow back at all. i just expect us to be not mutuals but still friends? THEN TALK TO PEOPLE TALK TO PEOPLE AND TALK TO PEOOPLE thats all i did was work past my fears and talk to people and some stuck around some didn't. i dont know what else to say. some of those people haven't actually spoken to me in months either but im still grateful for them. I have nothing else to really advise on that other than you gotta put the talking in first. thats all i've done and its somehow managed to not fuck it up for this long??? i dont think i've had any friend longer than whenever we started being friends... so around 2 years...    
Her: no offense but just talking to people doesn't do shit :) but seriously, thanks :)       (Phone lagged) So I repeated my previous message by accident)                           
Her: yeah probably the only reason you havent fucked it up is because i dont want to be fucking alone and i dont give up easily so ive stayed with this even fi you make me feel like fucking shit when this happens   & since you said nothing to everything else i just said i guess im right :)             god im over this i dont want to fight and i dont want to talk to you becaus eim always explaining my problems and you just like. tell me the same shit each time as if it'll magically do stuff   liek the fact that im trying doesnt mean anything                 i dont wanna talk to you if its always going to be like this ill take the goddamn loss and be lonely while youve got your fucking harem of friends idc if its an exaggeration the point is everyone i considered a friend has just stopped talking to me completely and the only thing i get here is you telling me what to do like i need cold hard instructions for making a friend  
ME: Harem??? You know nothing about anything. Ya know what..... forget it. If it's better I don't say anything because nothing I says helps and  I'm a broken record. You want to assume because I tagged a lot of people doesn't mean I wasn't just fishing for validation. Me trying to help is just being a dumb mistake. I can't help anyone and why I try is also confusing because I am pointless. I'm keeping you in my note regardless you have been here and listened and that hadn't changed.  But if this is just going to explode it's going to explode. All I do is ruin everything and I don't even care anymore I'm going to buy a gun soon anyways. So what's the point in trying to make something work. I've always been a shit friend and it's just not worth it to you at this point. So okay.                   
Her: HERE let me qutoe for you something    "idc if its an exaggeration"                                      ^^^^^^^             unlike you im aware when im being irrational lmao    (11)     apparnetly you get to be and i dont                             thats how it always is            did you ever think about it feels for me   when my only friend does shit like this constantly    like lmao                                ofc not bc why would you consider anything from my point of view  this conversation is over until you want to stop fucking assuming i dont care       LOL     and acting as if me letting you go is the best thing that could happen to me       like we couldnt j ust talk on twitter and let it fucking be but you have todrag it all in at least i get to get stuff off my chest thats the only fucking good that comes out of this  like you dont get that you telling me the same thing hurts because it doesnt fucking work and i dont have any fucking friends  i have college to deal with and studies and that pressure but you dont know the half of it?    but you just want to assume, assume, assume   (12) i cried already out of anger    
Me: I didn't have friends in college either                                 
Her: big offense but i dont want to continue this conversation
ME: Okay
Her: unles syoure willing to admit to your bullshit       because ima lways doing that and im always getting the end of your shit      
Me: I am made of nothing but bullshit I'm nothing but a huge fucking shit storm and I always will be. You should have left a long time ago because I don't know how to not be toxic   It's not That I won't be upset by you leaving far from it but you deserved better people and maybe if you had left and kept trying as you have been things will turn around. Because literally everyone that has ever done that with me ended up fine and in a good spot. I hold people back. And that's all I can think of. I ruin other people's lives by being in it. And I've certainly made your life worse. And I'm just better off dead because I am a selfish fucking loser.     I'll shut up now.
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wolflink · 7 years ago
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i’ve been putting myself out there lately and i’ll actually get so fucking exhausted to the point where i just sleep the majority of my day away and then wake up at ass o’clock trying to do work i should’ve done earlier. i mean it’s still pretty rewarding tho bc i’ve made friends that i already love dearly and can tell will be in my life for a very long time.. & even though i’m still shy and timid as shit, i’ve been experimenting w/ getting out of my comfort zones and grown a lot as a person since last year. that really isn’t saying much though tbh lol i really regret my first ever semester of college, i stayed stagnant the entirety of those 4 months because one person took advantage of my naivety and i was stupid enough to not get myself out of that situation asap and help completely waste my own damn time
ok anyway, there’s also one part of me who wants to be completely detached from everything i’m doing rn bc i’m almost certain i won’t be going back to this school and i hate that i’m finally getting settled and finding my place and only for all of that to be taken away from me like i know still have time left here, but i’ll just get so angry and frustrated w/ everything and wonder why i can’t ever catch a fucking break. i’ll almost wonder if there’s a point of me trying this hard.. i mean obviously there is but some days i’ll feel so discouraged and shut everyone out and slip back into bad habits which makes me feel even worse because i’m just trying so hard to better myself 
but aaaa yea thats my life so far i guess!! just tryna live to the fullest im selling bodily fluids for tattoo money this friday bc im dumb as fck
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