#im not sure what a druid is

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

the degree to which magic in bbc merlin is an allegory for queerness is insane. what do you mean people with magic hide in fear for their lives because it’s illegal. what do you mean merlin’s mother sent him away to the big city bc she was afraid of what would happen if their small town found out he had magic. what do you mean merlin is taken in by an unmarried old man who used to practice magic but can’t anymore. what do you mean morgana was morally on uther’s side until she realized who she was and that he was wrong for wanting people like her dead. what do you mean anti-magical propaganda spreads misinformation that all magic is evil and everyone who practices it is also evil and should be killed. what do you mean there’s a recurring underlying theme of magical being solidarity

[foxx-queen]

i keep thinking about the datamined conversation between halsin and minthara and what gets me about it is that if you side with halsin and turn minthara away, thats objectively the bad choice.

like at this point, you've rescued minthara from moonrise. you know now that she was being controlled to act against her will. you've gone to the trouble of rescuing her from her tormentors, and you've experienced what it felt like as they tried to destroy her mind. you know what will happen to her if you turn her away. and if you do, you're willingly condemning her to that fate. you've essentially allowed her to experience freedom, to regain her sense of self, only to tear that away from her again.

whereas if you side with minthara, and halsin leaves, that's the only consequence he experiences. that he's not a companion anymore. at this point, we've saved the grove, we've saved him, and we've lifted the shadow curse. we've helped him achieve what hes been hoping to do for over a century. leaving your party won't see him lose his free will. he can return to the grove and live his life.

the choice is essentially either condemn someone to a fate worse than death, knowing exactly what that entails vs not letting someone travel with you anymore. its pretty clear cut to me.

its just interesting to me that they've switched the morality of it around given that minthara is considered the 'evil' companion by so many.

[wildfairies]

started a playthrough as locket's partner from 100 years ago, before eilistraee's fall, and made locket her dream guardian 🥺

bonus pic of locket's first love rothgar, who i made her dream guardian in my most recent save... she met him at the promenade of the dark maiden. he turned to eilistraee + became a paladin after his wife and son were murdered by lolthsworn drow. he died on a mission and it broke locket's heart :(

(side note that most of the eilistraee worshippers at the promenade were drow, but unsurprisingly, locket was drawn to outsiders, so her lovers wound up being a dwarf and a half-orc.)

locket has a TYPE, and it's beefy and gentle btw

[bg3fandomcritical-reactive]

It makes me laugh so hard when the EA players keep whining that Halsin's character was "ruined" in full release. Sorry your headcanons about him being a monogamous cishet man who would propose marriage to you after you cleaned the shadow curse turned out to be wrong, I guess?

.

[assassinhomecreedstuck]

i cant believe ive played world of warcraft for 20 years

[druidshollow]

cannot stress this enough

[darabeatha]

quick!!!! it's late and the dash is quiet!! post m.octezuma's 500 sprites!

[dollfat]

im enjoying having gale as a bard, especially because he can learn spells from other classes. next time im gonna make wyll one of the fighter bards. im defo gonna be a paladin

[bosspigeon]

also tbh i know i've been ranting about Pyre for Three Goddamn Years but now i'm thinking about just doing a Shit I Would Do playthrough as a pseudo self-insert

[tiredcowboyy]

Morgana after she finds out shes a powerful high priestess: oh so im one of the most powerful beings on earth? Cool, ok so nothings gonna stop me and-

Randomer: ah well… uhhh

Morgana: what?

Randomer: well the thing is… uhm

Morgana: spit it out, ive got a king to kill now I know nothings in my way!

Randomer: about that… technically uhm theres emrys

Morgana: emrys?

Randomer: yeah, hes like the most powerful warlock on earth

Morgana: ok but im a high priestess so surely I outrank him no?

Randomer: *sucks breath between teeth* ahh well, uhm… no. He’s considered a god. King of druids. Most powerful being to walk this earth. He himself is magic. He-

Morgana: ok ok I get it. So what? This old guys gonna maybe try stop me? Surely I can take on an old man.

Randomer: hes 25.

Morgana: 25?!? Ok well the worlds big, he could be anywhere… right?

Randomer: wellll

Morgana: hes on this land isnt he?

Randomer: hes within the walls of Camelot actually.

Morgana: fucking- fine fine ok so I need to defeat this 25 year old, if you know him you can take me to him right? If he has magic and hes in Camelot surely hes hidden?

Randomer: god no. First of all hes one of the most known people in the kingdom, adored by all really even the nobles. I cant take you though, Id hate to cross him *shivers* ive heard horrors of when hes mad. Great guy though, once gave me an apple.

[feyascorner]

So might have noticed i have read all your fics and I absolutely love them all!

If your open to taking this request for a fic, i would love like 4 times astarion was jealous and 1 time you were! (I dont know if your familiar with the prompt). Tav sleeping with someone before they get together (act 1) he’s catching feelings! After relationship is established: Act 2 Halsin showing his interest (whether its reciprocated is up to you!). Act3 Shar’s caress, the owner talking about Tav’s interest and drow twins!

Finally, Tav being jealous! Astarion fully enjoying it!

Or just anything with jealous astarion i would LIVE for! Love your work either way 😆

a/n. THEYRE SO CUTE IM IN TEARS I LOVE JEALOUS ASTARION/TAV

also this is not proofread unfortunately, and I'm not 100% if i did this right but we rock and roll!!!1

As much as Astarion boasts (and resents) his familiarity with seduction, you're an anomaly he's yet to understand despite his centuries of experience.

Never once in his courtship, even when he'd been alive, had he felt so tested that he was jealous, over someone. Not really, anyway. Sure there were bits of bitter feelings here and there, but most were trivial and about something involved in the relationship, not the person themselves.

He's counted four times since the two of you met, where he had to resort to his better judgment to avoid resorting to pettiness. The first one, was out of necessity--so much so that he didn't even realize what it was at first.

He had watched you snuggle up to Shadowheart of all people, just when he thought he'd finally manipulated enough to have you wrapped around his finger. Instead, he had to hear you laugh as you let the cleric lead you to a nearby lake, making him question if somehow, he'd gotten rusty. Especially when the rival in question was clearly too busy having a religious crisis to properly court you. Sure, you technically didn't belong to him, nor did he belong to you at the time, but he went to sleep feeling oddly irritated. He made sure to flirt with you even more, apparently, the next morning.

The second time, he had accepted the strange feeling in his chest whenever he saw you. And Gods he should have done it earlier. He made sure to show plenty of public affection, kissing your cheek or hand randomly as you and your companions explored the shadow-cursed lands. He got a mouthful from Lae'zel a few times, but he couldn't care less. And just when he believed he'd eliminated any potential rivals, the damned druid suggested that you had feelings for him. Here, he felt that same churning feeling he had weeks ago at camp, and found it was one that he didn't long for. He wouldn't have blamed you if you'd considered it--especially since the two of you stopped being physically intimate after his confession. But he could deny how much he hated this feeling. Pretending he hadn't heard, waited for you to approach him that night. When you reassured him you'd said no, he could breathe again.

The last time was weeks later, at Sharess' Caress, where the two of you were approached by the drow twins. And when he'd confessed he wasn't ready to become intimate again, as much as it scared him, you only smiled at him and nodded. That cursed warmth he felt from such a simple act of kindness would follow him to the end of his days. But he hadn't had enough time to revel in it, because the drow twins assured you only you would be enough, even if he wasn't a part of it. The moment you refused, he was already dragging you out of the room, cursing the twins under his breath.

But for the first time, he thinks you're the one experiencing that dreadful feeling of insecurity.

"Your measurements are perfect for this new selection that just came in! Here, let me just check if the rest would fit."

He'd thought little of the harmless touches of the tailor, but as he notices your expression through the reflection of one of the mirrors, he thinks differently. Your lips are pursed, eyes following the tailor's movements like a hawk as you tighten the arms crossed over your chest. Astarion himself is no stranger to touch, especially to innocent ones like this, but if your body language means anything, the sentiments are not mutual.

The tailor reaches up to measure his arm span, inevitably bring their face a little to close to his neck. He just tilts away, nodding mindlessly at what the tailor is saying, but his attention is fully on you. You're fidgeting, and your anxiousness is impossibly obvious to him, but the more mischievous part of him stops him from doing anything about it. Instead, he revels in it.

"Did you get my inside leg?" he asks the tailor, grinning widely. "I think you might have to redo it. I was leaning a bit."

The tailor agrees though all he sees is a nod of a head and a voice in his ear going right through the other. He observes as your face falls, and just as the tailor crouches down and leans close, you're immediately across the room at record-speed, hand latching over the tailor's wrist.

Astarion barely manages to hold in his laugh. His smile, however, is another story.

"I'll do it," you mumble to the tailor. They look to you and back up to Astarion before seemingly realizing what's going on, nodding.

"Very well."

He never thought you could look even more alluring than he already finds you, but the way your jaw clenches and your brows furrow makes him think otherwise. You lean down and take the measurements as needed, stomping on his foot in the process.

He snorts.

Once the tailor leaves for the stock room, he finds you sighing. "You did that on purpose."

It's not a question. He laughs, and while he could just apologize, he takes your hand in his, tilting your head with the other so you'd look at him. He might even consider the glare you give him as cute.

"Jealous, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I was starting to think you weren't capable of jealousy."

"Why not?" you say, feeling his thumb rubs the top of your hand. "I've been plenty jealous before."

At this, he raises a brow. "I'd surely remember that."

"When we first met," you recall. "You flirted with practically everyone in camp. Saying you wanted to drink from Wyll, or something like that."

"You must know that I was--"

"I know what it was," you roll your eyes. "Not at the time though, and I thought you'd lost interest in me."

His jaw falls agape. "You're jesting."

"Why do you think I started flirting with other people? I figured you didn't like me as much as I liked you, so I moved on. Tried, at least."

"Is that what your visits to Shadowheart were?"

You scrunch your nose. "Oh Gods, I forgot about that. I'd rather not remember sleeping with one of my closest friends, thanks."

He can't help the grin stretching on his lips, and you notice, feeling yourself smile with him. "You're enjoying this far too much, Astarion."

"Please, tell me the next time you're jealous, so I'll know to keep an eye on you."

"Don't ask such ridiculous things," you retort, feigning annoyance before lifting his palm to your cheek and pressing a kiss to it. He swears his undead heart might've felt it. And just like that, the tailor returns, and you drop your intertwined hands, and he sees you shoot him a warning glare.

Acknowledging he's had enough fun teasing you today, he shrugs, and when the tailor begins showing him an array of outfits, he's not listening. Instead, he toys with the ring behind his back, making sure to commit your expression to his memory.

[oldfriendsseniortwittersanctuary]

Halsin makes a big deal about how your relationship isn't going to be monogamous but he never gets with anyone else. What a missed opportunity. Everyone else in the camp except for Withers (and even im not 100% sure about that) wants to ride the bear; why don't they get to? Are you telling me that Lae'zel, the horniest woman in Faerun, isn't going to shoot her shot? That Shadowheart, the second horniest woman in Faerun, isn't going to try to climb Mount Halsin? Let Halsin fuck his way through the camp! Let him get that wizussy! Let Karlach, the third horniest woman in Faerun, get that druid dick! Is it in character for Wyll to tussle with that hunky elf? Not really but if Wyll was going to say "fuck it I want some action" with anyone it'd be Halsin. Come on Larian.

[saltyyuuri]

Just released a beginning of fic on Wattpad (@saltyyuuri ; 🪷Druid🪷 Iso x reader) , if y'all like it I'll continue it, just not sure if it's aight

In the meantime; here's a "what if":

What if: You told them "We're having a baby!"

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Brimstone: "Really?! I'm so happy, love!"

Would re-arrange his schedule to spend time to help. Would make sure to get the best for you and the baby, no matter what

Phoenix; "Oh shit- Like for real for real?"

Would probably be nervous at first- then be chill and brag about it. But when the day comes- he's even more stressed than you.

Sage: "A child?"

She is confused - until you bring back a baby plant. She treasures the plant.

Sova: "You're pregnant??🥹🥹"

Absolute golden retriever moment- he is ecstatic. Except you aren't pregnant - you brought back a baby owl. He was even happier.

Viper: "That's a covid test. Now stay away."

It was in fact a covid test. Sorry.

Cypher: "Ah! A new chess buddy on the way :)"

Is chill about it, takes care of your needs. But he will teach the kid chess- the guy just wants a chess student.

Reyna: "another one?💀"

She thought you were talking about a new recruit. She would jokingly call them babies since they didn't know the ropes. Until you brought her a kitten :)

Killjoy: "how is that even possible?"

She immediately went to find you. You showed her the robot design you made. You meant it as a 'baby project'/ a creation made from the two of you.

Breach: "You know my entire bloodline is felons? Like this kid is going to be a felon."

Good luck with that.

Omen: "pardon?"

A kitten. You got him a kitten. You made the poor guy stress knit a tiny sweater- which he fixed so it would fit the kitten.

Jett: "Nah-🧑‍🦯"

Had to show her the tests. And re do some.

Raze: "What??!! Wait so am I like- the mom or-??"

She ended up spending an hour trying to figure out if she would be a mom or like a stand-in dad. That was until you brought her the keys to a Chevrolet Chevelle (like the car in the player card with Raze and breach)

Skye: "What do you mean-"

You actually meant you carved a wood sculpture of an animal for her to bring to life with her radiant powers.

Yoru: "Not mine."

Ghosted you.

Astra: "I know! I could feel it in your aura 💜"

Is genuinely happy about it, keeps you chill through the whole process

Kay/o: "I think you have the wrong person."

... Seriously though, it's a robot.

Chamber: "Oh la la... Je vais chercher du lait, Chérie."

You didn't understand his French, so you nod and smile.

Neon: "what?? But I'm baby 😭!!"

You sent her a pic of a pink rabbit plushie saying that was the baby. She agreed - it was now the baby.

Fade: "Oh shit... I'm not ready to be a mom-"

You reassured her by sending a picture of the cat you rescued, a black cat that looked way too energetic. She immediately said yes- it's name is Nightmare. So whenever she says "Nightmare, take them!", the kitty just jumps on whoever's closest. Yes, it was trained to do that.

Harbor: "Wait- but I pulled out?''

You had to explain to him that it can still happen - just like that very uncomfortable science class you had in high school. But once it's all cleared up, he gets into dad mode pretty fast.

Gekko: "Oh boy- we already have 4 kids here!! 😭"

His critters are his kids. And honestly he's a great critter dad. That's why you got a pet gecko - to add yet another baby critter to the family.

Deadlock: "Oh- Alright."

She is already looking into parenthood prep classes.

Iso: "Is it a 'congrats' or 'Im sorry' pregnancy -"

He didn't fully process what you said, and just instinctively kicked in with the logical question instead of reacting emotionally-

Took him a few seconds but went well!

Clove: "Uhhhh.. how?"

You swung by their dorm and gave them a jar with a growing salt crystal- the crystal was growing slowly on a string :) they check it's progress every day

Vyse: "... Honey, that's not biologically possible . Plus, I bent you over with a strap-"

She proceeded to explain basic biology and how it wasn't possible especially considering she bent you, to which you replied with a picture of a rose bush sprout. She simply responded with "Oh. Cute 💜". And she takes care of the rose plant, going as far as researching the best way to tend to it.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Love considering Brian's weird morals often bc my morals seem weird to the standard kind or so I've been told? So really I think you make a great point about sentience - so I think it's not just sentience, but innocence? Not sure if that's the word I'm looking for but... all living things definitely have some level or variation of sentience, plants and animals and people all communicate and so forth. (Arguably intimate object have a certain life/sentience to them but that's an entirely different argument i don't know how to get into rn so ignoring that.) But I think a possibility for Brian's morals is to value all sentient life equally. A man's life, a cat's life, and a rose's life are all worth value, all equal value because of the life that they hold. So letting the rose die is the same as letting a cat or a man die. Nit certain that's how it would be with Brian but I think it works here well enough?

(Also, like I said I like thinking about Brian's morals a lot so to add to "innocence", I mean it like... you hold the rose's life, the man's life, and the cat's life to the same value in this scenario. But say, what if the man killed the cat, and saw fit to kill the roses next? And say you could stop the man from killing the roses, but only by means of death. Would you kill the man to save the roses, or stand by to avoid taking a life, and watch the life you spared take another? Okay idk why I stuck with the same analogy trio there so now this sounds a little silly and oddly specific but. I was trying. Dunno if this made any sense. But I always think about that line at the beginning of The Boondocks Saints movie "Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.". It's one of my favorite things ever and I think that's something Brian probably struggles with a lot in MJE. When is indifference better than action if all the actions betrays his morals? Is it ever? Is it always? Is it never? Basically I think he should be allowed to kill in MJE but figuring out when murder is actually appropriate is...... Well. Very tricky for someone living a life like him to say the least. I mean, his crewmates are his family but also very big criminals and murders so is it appropriate to shoot Jonny for sealing the last soda. If he was mortal probably not but he's immortal so- *window's shut down noise that's either coming from Brian or my brain bc it's midnight*)

anyways making you laugh and you liking my description made me very very very happy bc I value my humor and mediocre poetry in random convos so <3

You're very right bc I have a completely separate headcanon-ish idea about TS being with Brian when the Station falls into the sun. We are trying so hard to give him love and companionship.

I feel like the continued and growing talk (+think about them none stop bc I am thinking about them constantly) about these roses is poetically ironic to me bc as they grow up and into our drumbot they climb and weave their way through our words. Neat :) but YES the roses binding him to the gallows as the catgut rots.... oh my goodness obsessed

Also agreed!! I feel like Mordred would honestly be the first person to even truly directly asked why he was hung. Also I keep imagining the idea his was hung bc of the mother (+maybe also baby) dying in childbirth that he was trying to help deliver (which I'm like 95% sure was your idea from another post but it's muddled in the trenches of my mechanisms headcanons that are stored in my brain). Which Mordred would definitely argue wasn't his fault, to which Brian still would not leave the gallows. For one the roses, for two to hang was his punishment which he feels he deserves because, three he feels it was his fault.

And oh!! I feel so silly now bc that's the type of glasswork I was picture but I always think of the word glassblowing instead lol. Also tho a few days ago me and my mom we watching an archeology docu and they were digging up Anglo Saxon graves and talking about the beads they made that archeologist found buried with the folk in the graves (among other things obviously). Can't remember exactly how the guy explained the process of the bead making but it was very fascinating and however Galahad ends up doing his I'm going to picture them very similarly to those beads I think. I mean there's definitely plenty of info available about the beads so I'll probably end up looking into it again later cause I'm too curious about the mixing of materials for painting/coloring the beads.

(also very silly but glass/metal beads are so much more satisfying than plastic/wood bc of the weight..... think about the weight and the clinky sounds of Galahad's beads is scratching my corvid brain)

The flowers!!! Growing around his heart!!!! The thorns scrap and scratch but never tear or puncture, carefully, kindly, lovingly weaving around veins that transition from flesh to metal. Ugh!!!! Also okay grabbing the rosa filipes from the tags and stuffing them in my mouth now actually. While I felt like have bold/brightly colored flowers would be neat for the pop of color in an otherwise dull colored world would be so cool ... Well first off red/orange hues wouldn't actually stand out on the station, from rust to blood. Second, actually? White flowers tend to be some of my favorites ever. Idk why (must've started somewhere as a tiny tot between feeling genuine upsetness over the roses getting painted red in the alice and wonderland cartoon bc they were pretty as is you don't need to be changed to appeal to others who don't actually care about you, and also the clover flowers I called popcorn flowers that grew all over the place where I lived). But while still not traditional looking roses petal shape wise I'm already in love with them. AND wait back to the color thing. I think the thing about these flowers that would make them stand out on the station is that they're clean. Something not stained by the rust and sand and waste of the station is hard to come by, muchless anything bright white. But when the blossoms freshly bloom, they're brilliant white and blinding and clean and just so pure. It's a treasure of a sight for a place like the station. The clean soft color doesn't transfer over when turned into beads, of course, but the weight in Galahad's hands is enough to remember the image of something many folk on the station would live and die without ever seeing.

please consider: Galahad always carrying around rosary beads/prayer beads that carry the image of Merlin, The Hanged Man in the style of a saint or of a crucifix. Also he handmade the entire thing of beads btw.

[some-thrilling-heroics]

i'm workshopping halsin's past in terms of relationships

considering that halsin was very likely bullied as a kid (thaniel was his only friend) and how he is a prime target for an abusive relationship (you can say all kinds of nasty things to him and he will just look sad but not break up with you or draw any kind of line that next time it's over or anything - and sure player chara lifts the curse so it's all magic on a pedestal and heart eyes but still…)

the way i see it time-wise: he's 350 now and i don't see him having any relationships like that since the shadow curse / taking over as archdruid, so that takes us down to him at 250 - his slavery 3 years were in his youth so im gonna assume that's closer to him either below or just around 100 so let's say ages 20-80/100 he might have had some relationships, then underdark happened at some point and then ages 80/100-250 again he is out and might be in relationships

so with that in mind, i'm trying to picture his past relationships and how they ended, what could be some common threats in most / many of them and were the breakups amicable or not

maybe besides duty and power imbalance and lack of peers / actual friends the reason he didn't have any relationship in the time as archdruid would also be that he was at that point aware enough that when he gets involved with sb he is easily manipulated by them, even if a relationship starts all sunshine and roses it always devolves when the other party(-ies) pick up on that and - not even to keep himself safe from that but to keep the grove safe from the potential dangers of that - he stayed single? that would also fit with him expecting the ship with tav to end even if it's going well and they are living in the commune, he's still waiting for that other shoe to drop, like all the other times

would his past lovers have issue with his relationship with his bear shape? they'd know he's a druid but he's not exactly standard in his approach, whether you go with werebear approach or not. would that have been a point of conflict in some relationships? would he have ended things if it was?

would some of them - either intentionally or through ignorance - hear him say openly he's polyamorous and take it as an open invitation to cheat on him or to involve third parties without properly discussing it with halsin and just assuming he'd be up for anything and with anybody? (i get wood elves are culturally polyamorous so this point might not necessarily apply to them, but clearly halsin doesn't limit himself to just dating wood elves)

on the flipside i don't want him to only have bad relationships, or only ones that in time turn abusive, but what would happen there? imo the simplest would be 'we're just having fun and want different things long term from life' or duty calls and the like that would necessitate a breakup. i would hate the idea that tav is the only / first good happy steady relationship in his long life and thus somehow special - outside of the special aspect being around the curse breaking bc can't argue with that.

thoughts? anybody?

[al9ayf]

Could I request headcanons for Cal, and Geraldus finding out their f!s/o has suicidal thoughts please?

it was a little hard to do this one but i tried my best. also im so sorry for taking so long to do this request i could not think of anything!!!! but im lowkey so proud of this one.

ᥫ᭡ suicidal thoughts | cal, geraldus

｡˚ explicit content :: thoughts of suicide ofc

ʚ cal:

you and cal have been childhood friends and ended up dating each other. lia and rolan helped set the two of you up on a date after relentlessly teasing the both of you for months

everything was perfect. life was great. you and cal had a healthy relationship. you never once argued unless it was over something small or as a joke. you even thought about the idea of marriage and how amazing it would be to raise children in elturel

then the fall came, and your life drastically changed. you managed to escape with the three siblings, but in the process had to say your final goodbyes to your parents, not knowing if you would ever see them again. you were shaken and torn from the incident, but cal helped you through it. he was the most peaceful tiefling a person could know

still, his wise words and calming presence could not shake you back to reality. it was traumatizing to live through the fall, and at times you found yourself snapping at cal, only to profusely apologize to him at night with kisses. he accepts your apology every time, and it angers you how he could still be so forgiving

at the druid’s grove, rolan asked for days and days to leave for baldur’s gate. you agreed with him, and argued with cal about it. he tried to be peaceful about it while you and roman argued with lia. he tried to be the mediator. he was always the one in this group to keep tensions low but it was not working. finally, when the group of adventurers managed to convince you and rolan to stay did the arguments come to an end. and again, you apologized to cal who admitted to you that it hurt him how you were being so cruel. you were not the only one to lose everything during the fall of elturel

on the road to baldur’s gate, you were ambushed by the cultists. you tried to protect cal but you took a slash to the back of your knee. rolan saved most of the group, but could not fend off the cultists for long. he picked you up and ran, while you screamed for cal

while rolan drank himself away at the bar in last light inn, you rotted away in a bed with bandages on your knee. you were advised not to walk for a little while since the cuts were deep. but you could not care. cal and lia were gone. the love of your life was gone. how could such an amazing person’s life be taken away just like that? what you would do to hear his sweet voice one more time

rolan comes to you at night and sits at the edge of your bed. he is drunk and rambling. he yells and kicks, but you lay on your side and stare at the wall while crying silent tears. he fills it in your head that they are both dead. that you will have no children. that you will never know a smile again in your life. he does that every night and then passes out on the floor beside you to make sure you do not die as well. but rolan does not know how you wish to die

finally, when you are able to walk again, you go outside to relish in the cold air. your eyes are dry and your lips are cracked. you refuse to eat and drink little water. cal is gone. most of your friends are gone. rolan will die by drinking himself away and there is no possible way to leave the shadowlands alive. you wish to see cal one more time

each step you take towards the darkness is a step to cal. his sweet words of comfort is all you wish to hear. you are blinded by false images of him beckoning you outside of the globe of light protecting the inn. yet before you can even exit, you feel somebody stopping you. it is rolan, and he yells at you. you tell him you wish to die. that no life is worth living after what has happened to all of you

“have you no wish to see your sister and brother again?! their bodies gone, but their souls live! if i can give up life to see cal again, i will give it up a thousand times over. don’t you want to see them, rolan? don’t you?”

he does not reply. he gets mad and runs back inside the inn back to the bar. you rush after him, only to stop when you see the adventurers with a group of tieflings and gnomes. you hear familiar voices and see a pair of familiar horns

cal comes rushing to you, embracing you and kissing you. you are too stunned to speak or move. you do not return his kisses. he is alive. and just as you were about to give up yours, he has returned to you in the flesh. you cry into his arms and fall to the floor with him

cal knows that you are happy to see him again, and he expects prayers and praises but all you tell him is how you had almost killed yourself to see him again. you thought him dead, and yet here he was. cal breaks at your words

he starts to cry too, and hugs you tightly. he curses himself for getting kidnapped and for not being able to protect you. but at least he has come back just in time to save you. he cried with you, and promises that with the help of the adventurers, the both of you will live a promising life in baldur’s gate

ʚ geraldus:

you and geraldus met before you two became harper’s. it was love at first sight. for years you have dated now, and geraldus was hoping to propose after the cult of the absolute would be defeated. the both of you were strong, and with jaheira and her companions by your side, the possibilities of a victory against the cult was high

while in baldur’s gate, jaheira ordered to find the rashemaar. it took days before you could even find a lead, but within those days geraldus started to get on your nerves. he was supposed to lead this group to prove his worth as a harper. but he has done no such thing. you see the fear in those eyes. and there is nothing you hate more than fear

you argued with him about it. he needed to get it together or everything would go to shit. if he were to hesitate for even a moment, he would get killed. geraldus stuttered while trying to promise you that such a thing wouldn’t happen, yet it only angered you more. you did not sleep with him that night. instead, your last words to him before you left to sleep at an inn was “you are too weak to be a harper. maybe it is best you return home, geraldus.”

the next morning you returned to the camp to the sight of a bloodbath. the bhaalists had come and taken everybody, and you were the only one left. you hurled at the sight of the bhaal symbol painted with blood of what you immediately assumed to be geraldus’. he was taken and killed. you threw up some more and cried

you are a harper. you must remain strong. but the death of your beloved hung in the air, and the stench of iron overwhelmed you. you felt like shit. you had told him to basically fuck off and left him all alone. you could have protected him. you could have died with him. but you left. this was your fault

you cried and cried, but then left to find jaheira in the city. your heart has been shattered. but you promised yourself one thing. once you help jaheira, you will reunite with geraldus wherever he may be. his laughter rings in your ears, and even the sight of a man with black hair tricks your mind into thinking it is him. though it is not. you will never see him again for as long as you live, and that thought shatters your broken heart into even more pieces

after meeting jaheira at entharl's shop, you alerted her to what has happened, and almost broke down in tears if it wasn’t for her contradicting you. she said that she had received a letter recently from geraldus to meet here and speak about the rashemaar, and you tell her that is not possible. it must be a doppelgänger. she says you shall find out right now

after coming face to face with “geraldus” and the group of harper’s you were with, you quickly were enraged. his eyes were teary and worrisome at the sight of you

“you hide underneath your cloaks and wear the skin of people we love! have you not once felt the touch of the sun or the kiss of a loved one?! do you not remember what it feels like to be loved?! do you despise me so that you wear the skin of my partner?!”

“geraldus” stumbles over his words and tries to clam you down. he does not know what to say to convince you to believe that it is him and that he has lived. but you are already crying and shaking your head. you yell at him and say that you shall meet with the real geraldus soon after you kill them all. that you have thought about a hundred different ways how you will end your life and these bhaalists. they will not take you

yet when he speaks the words “may selûne’s tears shine on this meeting” only then do you know it is the real him

after killing the doppelgänger’s and reuniting with geraldus, he is the first to cry. he admitted that he hesitated when the group came to kill the harper’s, and that he was glad you were not there to witness it. he cannot blame you for thinking that he had died, for he would have done the same thing. a life without you is a life not worth living. he has envisioned a life with children with you. you are the only one that he wants, the only one that he needs. and he would rather die if a bhaalist took that away from him

you kiss and hug him, all while jaheira begs the both of you to rest