ehh
Im so so tired of all the discussions around S & R sexualities.
Story time: when I first read the books I assumed everyone is straight bc I was a child raised catholic with no critical thinking skills (though, I could tell I didnt like r/t that much but I couldnt really tell why). Then, after entering the fandom and discovering r/s I was like, oh ok, S could be bi. R could also be bi. Then I became more inclined towards gay S. Some time passed, I rejoined the fandom on tumblr. I see more posts talking about r/t being comphet and bi S agenda, and im like, alright makes sense, R is gay, S is bi.
But now Ive come to the conclusion it doesnt matter to me, in fact, I dont want to have a set headcanon regarding their sexualities. Bc im just so tired of seeing all these metas with canon info as arguments for/against comphet, for/against reading them as bi vs gay - and like, the metas themselv are great of course. I love metas and I love people writing metas.
But at this point it doesnt matter to me who is assigned which label and why.
I see them both as queer - partially bc of the canon info from metas I mentioned, but partially just bc I ship them together - and it certainly doesnt matter to me if the author intended them to be read as queer or not (obviously she didnt?? why is this even still being brought up I though we were over this??). They are not queer coded (that requires authorial intention) and they can be read as queer - but reading a character as queer implies a reader reads a character as queer. Its an interpretation. And yes, considering all the context of the books, reading R as a gay man seems like the best interpretation, but its still an interpretation. That I agree with, obviously. But its still up to the specific fan.
One thing confuses me though. As someone who doesnt ship r/t* - from Watsonian perspective: R was basically pressured by molly since he initially never voiced interest in T and in fact seemed to avoid her; form Doylist perspective: this was done with a great disservice towards T as a character - and generally agrees with all the context pointing towards R being read as queer man with AIDS / lycanthropy being read as a metaphor for HIV/AIDS - Why R cant be bi? I dont think he was into T - and Im not saying he was bi - but I dont see how thats an argument against him being bi in general?
But like I said. Idc at this point. They are both gay. And bi. And ace, while we are at it. Depending on a concept/storyline/fanfic I want to explore at this moment.
.
*and this shouldn't be needed to be said, but, just to be safe: doesnt have a problem with r/t shippers. this ship isnt for me, thats it.
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
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so the vision is guys what it'd be is qtubbo losing his fucking mind trying to figure put the mechanics of this timeloop trying to figure out how it ticks and like obviously at first he's having the time of his life while he does it, like solving the mystery while his actions have seemingly no consequences are you kidding me? a dream come true for this guy but watching the people he loves die over and over again gets real old real fast then the real curveball comes when he realizes sunny is looping with him and how long has she been going by this by herself? how much has she seen? then he starts micromanage control freaking it out, losing his mind a little while also trying to keep shit together for his daughter and he's comforting her but he's constantly at his limit and like yeah
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From the drafts, thoughts about enst. Lalala
You know what Matrix reminds me of? Beasts. Baby's first introduction to experiencing and opposing racism, respectively transphobia. And yet they are unfortunately needed considering the audience (clunky as they are, i'd be happy if they make people reconsider internalized beliefs they hadn't been aware of). The western fandom likes to think themselves superior but im gonna be honest, while the lessons are very much obvious, i still see racist and transphobic remarks even from people who think themselves above it, without even realizing it. Once you deem yourself unable to commit "the worst things morally" you stop questioning your capacity to internalize and perpetuate harmful beliefs. Because "only bad people think or do that" - it is such an incorrect way to view things, morality, life. "Those are things a bad person does and I am good, therefore I can't do it. Also bad people can't have any good traits." is a sentiment all to common seen in online fandom spaces, a result of black and white thinking, that stuns growth and stops discussions rather than solve anything.
At the same time, the writing itself is not above criticism and conversations could and should be had. Ive seen and had some great talks recently. I just wish people would understand the very basic depiction=/=endorsement before jumping in, or that good and bad parts can coexist, and above all, looking at it as a piece of fiction that functions as such (What is it trying to convey? How is it done? Is it effectiv? How? Why? Who is the audience? Rather than a wall of "Well i personally dont like it. so it's bad". Feelings are valid but it's a bit like white noise i'd like to look past into exploring the uncomfortable. Speaking of, I'd like to eventually post some drafts that could be seen as touching uncomfortable topics but it's still scary, it's easy to get misinterpreted). Anyway, i also think a story can't be judged while incomplete. I have been keeping to priv/ my phone notes mostly because i know i can get careless and catty especially under stress. Im curious to see how it's wrapped up and how things will be evolving going forward...
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so fucking bored of having to deal with moral ocd over the use of words
people arent going to stop making progressively stricter rules as to why people who dont have the exact fucking experiences as them cant use certain words
they arent going to stop trying to exclude anyone they percieve as suffering less than them from community, or help, or fucking 'terminology.'
i cannot express how little i give a fuck about this obsession with only ever using the exact right words, only using the words other people give u permission to use once theyve decided youve reached an acceptable level of visible pain. because its only about how much they think ur suffering based on their perception of ur life
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tour blurb
I can't say anything BC it's the same (almost) unit of measurement that I apply when I go to concerts.
Smsmksksa (not so much) joking aside, the mic unit of measurement is the most useful and obvious for the concert donut. I know they updated the number and positions of the mics,, so I am now kind of curious of the ratio drum riser/mics on the stage. Like there are 4 battle station on the donut, how many mics between every drum kit? This is a math problem due to monday
*coff* that said did they discussed it in tuning rooms etc bc lars asked James to stay in his line of site for the most of it?
But like, of course for stages like the one in Milan, it wasn't like that, even if it was smaller
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